I do not own Twilight.

Alice is all ears as soon as she sees me. Really, as soon as I unintentionally break down in front of her. I feel terrible for laying everything on her like this, especially when we've just become friends again, but she honestly doesn't seem to mind. Alice has always been a good friend to me. A better friend than I deserve.

"So, you had sex because he was mad?"

I look up at her over the bowl of ice cream she'd scooped me. Black raspberry. My favorite. It reminds me of summer in high school.

"He had sex with me because he was mad. And on parole. And didn't want to fight Mike." I sigh and push away my bowl. "I don't know, Alice, what if he hasn't changed? What if after parole, he just goes back to how he was. I don't know if I can handle that."

Alice stares at me for a moment and then does this thing with her lips that I remember her doing a hundred times when we were younger. It's a look of consternation. Like she wants to say something, but isn't sure she should. I remember I used to be annoyed by the look, but now I'm happy to see it. Happy to see Alice at all.

I become impatient, waiting as she chews on the inside of her cheek.

"Just spit it out, Alice. I'm already upset enough as it is. I don't think you could make it any worse."

She sends me a sly grin and thinks for a moment. She looks away from me and then back. "You might be mad..." she starts and I shake my head, encouraging her. "But I think, maybe, you're being dramatic?"

I blanch, staring at her wordlessly.

"I mean, you can't expect him not to be angry that this guy grabbed your wrist. And you can't expect him to not be angry when he sees someone you've dated." She pauses and raises her eyebrows accusingly. "Don't you remember how upset you used to get when one of the girls from the Reservation used to try and talk to Edward while you were together? Remember that party Jake had, where Leah wouldn't give it a rest?"

I purse my lips and look away because yes, I remember that party and yes, I remember Leah talking to Edward as though I wasn't standing a few inches away from him. And yes, I remember the way I felt when Alice whispered to me that they had a thing the winter before I moved to Washington.

But I also remember the way Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side and introduced me to her as his girlfriend. It was the first time he had said it to anyone outside of our small group of friends, and it hadn't been spoken in a vindictive way.

"And," Alice adds and I close my eyes, wishing I could block my ears without her becoming angry, "you can't expect him not to be jealous."

My eyes snap open.

"He wasn't jealous. He was angry at Mike because—"

"Yeah, obviously he was angry," Alice interrupts, waving her hand dismissively. "This is Edward we're talking about. But he was definitely jealous."

"Of what?" I ask, because I'm with Edward and he knows that so what is there to be jealous of? He knows I would never want to be with Mike again, but Alice scoffs and I think she's hearing something I didn't.

"'While you were locked away in prison, I was having hot sex with your girl'," Alice says, doing her best impression of Mike which is the impression she uses for any boy she thinks is dimwitted—mainly her older brother.

I blush and look away. "I didn't think he would…" I trail off when Alice lets out a short laugh.

"I think you're traumatized by how he used to be," she says. "Think about it—if he hadn't changed at all, he would have fought Mike no matter what you said. He would have given you that look and stepped around you and left you there crying, calling for him to come back." She tilts her head in my direction. "Right?"

I force a breath through my nose because she's right and she knows she is. If that had been the old Edward, we would have never made it back inside of the building. More importantly, Mike would have never made it out of our sight.

"I think you need to give him a little more credit." Alice thinks for a second. "Or at least believe in him a little more."

I can't help but to laugh. "What happened to the Alice that hates Edward?"

The way she looks at me makes me suspicious and then she's getting off of the stool in her kitchen and putting the bowl from her ice cream in the sink. She starts cleaning, so I know she's keeping something from me. I move from my own stool and lean against the counter beside her, staring at her profile until she gives up the farce.

She glances at me quickly. "I have a confession," she says.

I've had more than enough of these in the past few months of my life, so I feel like a pro at taking news without showing much emotion.

"Edward and I are still friends."

I nearly sputter on nothing, thankful that I hadn't been eating my ice cream at the moment.

"Well, Edward and Jasper are still friends and I—well, you know how it is. You get dragged along." She rolls her eyes as though recounting the times she's had to spend with Edward and Jasper. She puts the glass in the strainer and turns to look at me, her expression contrite. "Are you mad?"

I blink a few times before righting myself. "I just don't…understand…"

Alice shrugs and grabs the towel from the rack, wringing it between her hands nervously. "That summer that you left him…" she shakes her head, her brow crinkling. "Bella, that fucked him up. I don't think you even realize how messed up he was after that. I mean, he and Jasper had been friends for so long and Jasper reached out because he knew how bad it could get and…" she trails off and shrugs again, forcing a smile. "And here we are."

"But I don't understand," I repeat, my mind moving a mile a minute because Edward never said anything to me about this. Emmett never said anything to me about this. Suddenly I'm wondering if Charlie knew…if my mother knew.

"Jasper went down to Florida before Edward was arrested. We never visited him in jail, but I don't think he wanted us to visit him. And then when you started visiting him…" she glances at me like she's afraid she's going to say something she shouldn't, but the look on my face makes her continue on. "He asked Emmett to ask us not to say anything to you. I think he didn't want you to think he was betraying you by befriending us again. Well," she laughs softly, "if you can even really call it befriending. He never went out with us. I don't think he even really wanted us around, but Jasper was determined to keep him…above water, I guess."

Everything she's telling me is making me feel sick to my stomach, and not for the reasons she'd think. I don't care that they were friends with him—I'm glad he had someone, but I can't imagine what would have happened to him if Jasper and Alice hadn't tried. I'm already swallowing back tears when I glance back up at her.

"Thank you for being there for him," I whisper and Alice grins.

"When Jasper gets back, it'll be like old times," she says. "Maybe we can even go back to the diner and they can steal food from our plates."

I can't help but to smile because the image is so vivid and so good that it makes me want to cry all over again and smiling is the only way to keep myself from doing so.