Hunger Games; a Timetravels paradox

by

Demonkakan

Part II

The Hunger Game-trilogy belongs to Suzanne Collins, one of the greatest writer ever born. I don't own the story, mainly giving it my own twist because I want to, so please don't sue. This is a fanfic and the originals is so much better so run and read it if you haven't.

I also am going a lot after the original. I don't have the talent to deviate from Collins work, so a lot will be familiar to her readers. Don't hate me for my lack of imagination.

*thinking*

"talking"

"Screaming"

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Chapter 8

I wake slowly, my body stiff and cold. I don't want to move, but my hand reaches out for the warmth that should be next to me. It's not there, she is not there. My heart jumpstarts and cold panic sieges me. Where is she, is she okay, is she dead… those are the thought that always come to me when she leaves the bed. When she leaves my side to go to hers. Even after all these months I still can't relax when her side of the bed is empty.

She must have had a bad dream, no matter what she never comes to me with those. Some part of me, even after so many years hate my mother for that privilege. That Prim seeks comfort from her in the dark and not me.

I sit up, trying to get some life into my limbs. There's enough light in the bedroom to see them. Her soft baby-blond-hair sticking up next to mother's pale-blond. She is safe. But the question is for how long? This is the day of the reaping; the day our life changed and the beginning of the end started. I have feared this day for months. I still can't figure out what to do. I'm no hero, my only goal in life is to see my sister safe.

She won't be safe, not today. Not if the reaping goes the same. I have prayed to every false god I remember, but I doubt they would hear me. She's going to be picked, the fear is suffocating. I can't stop it from happening, all I can do is volunteer, again. *That work so well the last time, didn't it.*

I look towards my mom, suddenly hit with the urge to seek comfort in her like Prim does, but she looks so fragile and worn. Once I would have said my mother look young and at peace when she slept, that's no longer true. In her sleep she looks as world-worn as she is awake.

I never realized before what exactly my father's passing did to her, he must have been her everything. Even her love for us are not enough to keep her strong. She's like a corps most days, why Prim and our friends don't see it I don't know. I would have become like her, I think as I look at her, if not for Peeta. He hadn't allow me to become ash; He and Haymitch both refused to let me kindle.

I get up and walk with silent step towards them. My sister's beautiful face bringing a soft smile to my face. I haven't smiled a lot lately, only with her.

Prim's face is fresh as a raindrop; lovely like the primrose she's named after. Looking so innocent; like sunlight captured in shadows. Gale's mother once said that Prims looks come from our mom, that when she was young she had the exact same appearance as her. To me Prim is Prim and there are only one like her.

A low meow bring my eyes down, my arch-nemesis is at my feet; Buttercup. He too looks at the pair. I sometime think he knows that I'm a freak; that I have traveled back in time. But he seems to be content with my presence near his owner, so we simple ignore eachother.

I still hate the beast. He is the meanest and ugliest creature I have ever been near. A mashed-in nose, half an ear missing, eyes the color of rotting squash and a breath that could kill peacekeepers. There is nothing pretty about him. Prim off course loves him; she loves everything ugly and twisted, just look at her family.

I turn away from them as Buttercup jumps up and settles beside Prim. A silent agreement that while I hunt he will guard her. I get my clothes and get dressed. I haven't grown that much since I got back, the clothes still fits on me, even if they are starting to get tight. I have save up enough money to buy new ones for Prim and I, just in case we both can go home after the reaping. Who knows, we might get lucky.

When I'm dressed I grab my forage-bag and head out. As I reach the kitchen I slip into my father's hunting-jacket, tie my hair into a braid and hide it underneath. As I pass the table I see Prim's reaping-gift to me, a bit of cheese well protected from the rats, and stuff it down a pocket. I open and close the door silently and sneak off towards the meadow.

I know that Gale will be hunting with me later, but for now the forest is mine. I still have instances when I hate his mere presence but I have started to get more and more used to the fact that he's not that Gale, the man that sold me out. From our talks and exploration of the forest I have realized that Gale is nowhere near the person he once was. He is more mature than others, yet he still looks at the world through a child's eyes.

I like his simple view of what is right and wrong. What he perceives as justice feels to me like an illusion; nothing is that black and white, good or evil. The world is ruled by greed and power, everyone else caught in-between. A dark look on life, but humans are animals. We hide our greed behind find words, but we are all killers.

Some regimes are better than others but nothing can't stop our very nature. It took me a long time to see that and my Gale never did, he believe that everything can be good and perfect. I myself no longer want to live in such a world. It would have no place for me. What I want is a somewhat safe life with Prim. Food to eat and a place to sleep, the rest is an illusion and I rather live without it.

I'm up so early that I know that the Seam will be full of coal miners heading home from the night shift. I will blend in with them nicely. When I had first woken up in the past it was in an early morning like this one, but I had hardly thought at all about the miners. About the men and women with hunched shoulders, swollen knuckles and dead faces. I have hardly stopped thinking about them since.

I think that as a person steps into those mines they give up their life, down in those tunnels laise nothing but despair and darkness. It always scared me when I was young, especially after my father's death. I hated the mines, but I would rather stay down below for the rest of my life if it kept me away from President Snow's watchful eye.

…

The streets was full as I walk my usual path through the Seam. The capitol always made people go home and clean themselves before the reaping. They wanted us cleaned before we went to the town's square at two o'clock. Today we would even have fresh water to bath in. If not for the children we had to sacrifice for our dead-end-way of life people would look forward to this day. After all a free day is a hard thing to come by, the children are at school almost every day and the workers down in the mines.

The day-miners a most likely home; sleeping or being with their children. Since coming back here I remember why I never wanted children. They had no hope in this world.

The seam is quiet, people are minding their own business. Leaving me free to move about. The peacekeeper I do see are too busy with stray miners to mind me, I'm walking in the wrong direction to worry them. It is not long before I reach the scruffy field called the Meadow. The capitols high chain-link-fence the only thing keeping me away from the forest. Not for long, I know every hole the fence has and have used them shamelessly for years to come and go as I like.

I remember how scared I was at first after coming back. Every step I took was like a nightmare. I saw peacekeeper in every shadow and mots in every tree. I hadn't even dared speak after my punishment, even with my knowledge about their spy-net. My love for the forest had made me pull through and slowly I had adapted. Perhaps even more since I have used my knowledge to feed Gale's and my family.

I carefully listen after the signs of electricity, luckily there's none. I easily slip underneath the gap, hidden behind clump of bushes, and are through. I run over the field and let the forest swallow me. After retrieving my bow and arrows I begin the morning hunt, hoping for some rabbits and some squirrels, just in case mom and Prim needs meat for the time to come. They might need it.

I travel light on my feet, careful of predators or hover-crafts. Predator don't come this close to the fence but they do occasionally reside in the area. The only thing I am really concerned about is the bear that lives by a lake, two hour from here. It usually come this way when the berries and the mushrooms blooms.

I collect plenty of nuts, berries and edible plants as I walk, based of the knowledge from my and Johanna. Who knew that there existed a nut inside the hard and pointy shell of an chesnut. They are an absolute treat at wintertime when roasted. Prim loves them. As would father have, still so many years ago since I lost him and I still wish for him to be by my side.

Some of my finding I will trade at the Hub. Not even the trains for the elite carry much food, making Gale and me a valued rarity. As long as we keep away from the unit runned by that idiot Darque other peacekeepers turn a blind eye to our exploits in the woods. We take care to never get caught or speak about our trips beyond the fence.

Not even in the Hob can you speak freely amongst your kind. Discuss little more than trades in the Hob and you will be gone the next day. Since I was eleven I have avoided discussing tricky topics. Like the reaping, hunting, food shortages or the Hunger games. Panem has never been a place where I felt safe, not even after the war. I sometimes wonder if it should even exist, if any system could work or if we all should leave eachother alone completely.

After spending two hour hunting I've managed to capture three rabbits and two birds. After securing my bounty I start traveling to the rock ledge, the one I know Gale will be at for it has a beautiful outlook over the forest and are hidden by thick berry-bushes. I will probably hunt with him for an hour more after we eaten before he takes the traps to the east and I those to the west. I won't have to suffer his company long and will be home in time for my bath.

…

I school my face as I approach, my old friend basking in the sun. He seems at ease and I find his peacefulness relaxing. I'm slowly becoming reconciled with Gale, even though he's unaware of our distance. We will never be as close as before, but I can't escape his importance in mine and Prims life. The sight of him waiting there brings back so many happy memories and I'm slowly forgetting all the bad ones.

I snap a branch as I approach and he turns around. He smiles broadly at me and waves. "Hey, Catnip," the only one that that calls me that name are him and it goes a long way of me seeing the Gale now then the Gale of the future. The feeling behind the name softer.

"Look what I shot," Gale says with a smirk. I know what he will show me. A loaf of bread with an arrow stuck in it.

I can smell it and I just know that it is Peeta that has baked it. I force out a strained laugh Gale presents his catch. I have hardly spoken to Peeta since coming back, avoiding him as much as possible. A smile from him could break me and I can't allow it. With Gale and Prim I can be strong, but Peeta has the ability to break my walls and with so much on the line it's too dangerous.

"Mm, still warm," He says. He must have been at the bakery at the crack of dawn to trade for it.

"I got it from the butcher." Gale explains as he breaks the bread in two, handing me a half. "His son's birthday is coming up and he wanted to surprise him, so he traded it for a squirrel."

I give a nod. I take out the cheese from Prim and give half of it to Gale.

"Well, here is a pending birthday." I say in a capitol-accent and lift the bread in a jester of a toast.

"And a happy Hungers game." Gale finishes.

We eat the bread slow and enjoy the quite. That's the best thing with being stuck with Gale, he doesn't talk endlessly. I can relax somewhat and just enjoy the small freedom that I got out here.

After we have eaten I'm ready to head out once again, but before I can voice it Gale starts talking in a quiet voice, his eyes staring out over the valley.

"We could do it, you know."

"What?" I ask, suspecting the direction he's going.

"Leave the district. Run off. Live in the woods. You and I, we could make it," Gale sounds wishful, but he knows it's a lie. We could never leave our families.

We may be skilled hunters, but the capitol will find us quickly if we take our siblings. Just as they did the Avox girl so many years ago. I can still see her brothers face as they killed him. That would be Prims faith if we ran; hunted like an animal, no mercy would be shown.

"Not with those scaredy-cats back home Gale. They would never make it one day out here." I say. He agrees with me. We stop talking about a possible freedom and pack our things, thankfully without any more words said.

After heading out again, Gale close on my trail, we let the trees hide us. We won't split up for another ten minutes, but before we come to the cross Gale starts talking again.

"I know that you want to hunt some more, but what do you say about fishing? We haven't done that for a long time and our families could do with some fish."

It is common for the districts to celebrate at the evening after the reaping, many parents because of the relief that their children is safe others. Gale wants fish so that he can share its rare meat with his family tonight. But the thought of fishing makes me sick, remembering the poisoned fish in district four. Many had eaten the fish and died painful deaths. Their main food-source had been uneatable for years after the war.

Gale looks so eager that I don't have the heart to protest, knowing he has notice how withdrawn I have been towards him this last few months, so I follow him out of guilt to our fishing place. We catch some fish, Gale happier about it than me and after a while I convince him to stop. The rest of the time we spend collecting greens and strawberries. The greens is for the younger siblings and the strawberries for our mothers to make jam. I try to play nice but the more time passes the harder it gets.

Thanks to Rue's and Johanna's districts I had learned how to harvest sap, the tough part being how to build a container and a drainer. This of course was something I keep close at heart, the trees inside the district would be destroyed within weeks if anyone found out.

If the trees died then the peacekeepers would investigate; I would be found out and most likely killed. Gale had once asked me to show him; I had asked him back if he could keep quiet even if we had a hard winter. He didn't ask again, he never was as pragmatic as I when it came to surviving. He didn't hate me for it, but he couldn't understand it either really.

After collecting one of the sap-containers from a hidden spot, Gale waiting a bit back out of respect, I suddenly thought of something. I almost cursed myself for almost missing it.

"Gale!" I call out.

"What?" he answers, worry in his voice. He think I spotted something, a craft or a predator.

"Come here." Is all I say.

Gale take a few seconds, but he soon appears behind a bush. I hold my tongue until he is by my side. He looks around and slowly relaxes as he finds the forest calm and danger-free. He looks at me with questioning eyes.

"If it's me... you need to know." My word is enough explanation. Gale's entire face forms into a pained expression. He hate talking about this, but for the sake of our siblings I will force him to.

"No Catnip…" I hush him and look at him with determination.

"If it is me... my secret stash will be forgotten and our little ones will suffer for it. You know this, I need you to know, ok?" I say in a soft voice. He looks back at me and nods.

I could always count on him on in these situation. He will always look after our siblings, no matter what. It is what once drew me to him and made me love him. That is why his betrayal had hurt so much, for even if I could never be inlove with him he had broken my heart that day.

Leaving those thought in the back of my mind I take Gale hand and show him my treasure. It has over ten filled containers of sap, three knifes, dried leaves and herbs. It will most of the fall and then some if Gale is watchful with it. I protect it for predators with thorn bushes and rocks. I also have smell-traps set around in holes in case a bear comes by. Something I learned in the farmer-district.

After Gale has learned the route to the pit we head to the hob; the black market of district twelve, intact in an old warehouse, once used to store coal before more adapt measures was created. We soon have traded most of the fish for bread, salt, medicine and paraffin.

Gale and I usually sell most of the strawberries before we mixed the rest with sap, but know we hold onto almost the entire pick. Today we want some cash so after the hob we swing by the mayor's and knock on the back door.

The mayor's daughter, Madge, opens. I still have a hard time meeting her eyes, for I know that in my time she's dead. She had been the closest thing to a girl-friend I ever come before the games. Her withdrawn disposition suited my sulky one. Today she's dressed in an expensive white dress, and her blonde hair is done up with a pink ribbon; Reaping clothes.

"Pretty dress," Gale almost snarls and I have to bite my lip not snap at him. Madge just nods stiffly and ask what we want. We sell her some strawberries and get ten credits.

Gale is a bit colder towards Madge than me, a lot of it because of the class difference between us. Madge can at most have five entries, one extra for every year she partake. Whilst we two have bought over twenty tesserae by now.

That's the trap, the tesserae. It's the capitol's offer to everyone. Every child between the ages of twelve to eighteen can buy a tesserae, a meager year's supply of grain and oil for a person. upping your chances at being chosen for the Hunger games.

You can see why someone like Madge, who has never been at risk of needing a tesserae, can set him off. In fact the upper class of our part in the district has the most surviving number of children in comparison to other districts. A fact that comes from our meager food ration and we haven't won the Hunger Game for twenty-three years.

It's a subject that have always weigh heavy upon Gale's shoulder, always will. He sees the genius of the act. It's a way for the capitol to divide the people, strike fear and obedience. Keep the people weak and remain in power. I could never see that as well as him, not until after the Hunger games. I still marvel over his insight.

As we walk home I keep glancing at his face. Gales rage seem pointless to me, but I hold my tongue. There is nothing that can be done at this time against the Capitol's games, but perhaps someday soon that will change.

Before we part ways the bounty is split up between us. I give him some of my prey and he gives me a couple of fishes. The bread, salt, paraffin, greens and strawberries we split even and say goodbye. It has been one of our better days, when I haven't been plagued by our past happenings and that gives me a strange warm feeling in my belly. I think it's joy, joy that I finally can start becoming friends with Gale again.

Our last parting word to each other is;

"See you in the square… And may the odds be ever in your favor."

...

When I come home mom and sister has already finished. Mom's in an old dress from her apothecary days. Prim is dressed in my old reaping outfit, a blue skirt and ruffled blouse, hold together with fifteen pins.

I look at my mother. She is standing in front of me, avoiding my eyes. It has been like this ever since my father died. It never got to the point where we could look at each other with ease again. At the start it was because she let us fend for ourselves, we had almost starved to death before she even begun waking up from her trans. I could never bring myself to forgive her for that, but later it was for the fact that we both blamed me for getting Prim killed. We never said it out loud but the words was never needed. She once failed Prim by leaving us and I failed her by allowing her to become a pawn in the war.

I look at her, my heart cold. A huge cliff stands between us and I am not really inclined to close it, too much bad blood.

I hurry to the bathtub and scrub myself down. If you come dirty to the square you will lose a fifth of your grain. They keep track of every child whose name is in the bowl. Grownups gets away with it a bit, but the children must look clean and fresh. Gods forbid that the poor capitolists would see us for the dirty kids we are. They might faint.

On my bed mom's old summer dress waits for me. I go cold as I see it. It is connected the games. I at first don't want to put it on, but mom looks so hopeful that I manage to force myself. The fabric is soft, but feels like hot lava on me. I want to rip it off but stop myself. Its the only dress I fit in.

"You look like a lady Katniss." Mom says in a soft voice. She almost looks proud as she studies me. I swallow hard. The words hard to process.

"Let's put your hair up, too," she says, her voice light. I smile a stiff smile. The thought of her hands on me make me sick. I bite my tongue and sit down on the kitchen chair and allow her to towel-dry and braid. As mom works on my hair it occurs to me that I hold my tongue a lot. I'm so afraid of saying something or doing something odd or wrong that I have become a very silent being.

I remember how scared my mother was when I was younger, then I always spoke my mind and voiced my opinions without care. Now I've learned to keep my thought private, now no one but me even suspects some of the things I contemplate over. It occurs to me how dangerous that is. After all, if you are surrounded by loved once and you have no one to talk to you are truly a lonely creature. This brings pain to my heart and I feel abandoned. There is no one here to understand my situation. I am truly alone.

Before I could seek comfort in Prim, but I realize that I can never be open with her.

Not without risking her dying...

Chapter 9

I have managed to collect myself somewhat by the time mom's done and shows me the result. I was lucky that she and Prim had started up a light conversation before the attack. I have them a lot; gaps of depressions, anger and panic. It is hard not to when you have so many things weighing you down. It's a miracle that I haven't gone insane yet.

Prim is the one that keeps me going, her mere presence do as much for me as Peeta's stuberness had after the war. The fact both are alive, well and safe fills my dark moments with light. I need those when the faces of dead people greets me in the Seam; The very life we live. Sometimes I can't make myself leave the bed.

It is Prims hushed voice that brings my eyes up so that I can look at myself in our cracked mirror. She thinks I'm beautiful and I have to agree. My mother intrigue braid and the bath has brought out my youthfulness and I look nothing like I feel. I give Prim a smile and she gives one back, both strained. The day will be a hard one for us both.

The first time around I hardly thought about it, Prim's name in the bowl. To me the chances had been so insignificant; I or the other older children in the Seam at a much higher risk.

Now I knew better and I was as scared as her, the difference is I must work with the fear. The games was one I could handle. Prim being chosen was not, Peeta being tortured was not, Prim dying was not. Not knowing and unable to do anything was not. Those fears was slowly overwhelming me. Reminding me of dad's death.

After the explosion mom had disappeared into herself. Leaving me to take care of Prim. I have never been as scared as I was at that time; sneaking into the woods alone, without him. I have never felt such fears in my life. If not for my sister's starving face I would never had dared to enter.

Just as that time I will swallow my fear, even if it overwhelms me, and protect Prim with everything I got. I take hold of her blouse, its bottom sticking out, and smile at her. taking comfort in her warmth.

"Tuck your tail in, little duck," I say. It brings an irritating frown to her face, she has probably already done so at least three times already and she hurries to do it again. When she is done she looks back at me and huffs and says in her light voice;

"Quack."

"Quack yourself," I say with a light laugh.

It's a laugh that has only ever been Prims doing, not even Peeta could bring it out.

We usually eat before the reaping but I can't bear to eat anything and instead ask if we can go to the hills and just spend time together. Prim smiles at this so mom agrees. We don't pack any food, but Prim does bring some of the strawberries. We spend the rest of our time together under the pale sun and just soak in each other's presence.

When it is time for us to go I hug mom stiffly. She is surprised but lets it go. I hug Prim to me to and kiss her on the forehead. We walk in silence the last few minutes, briefly stopping by Gale's house to join up with his family.

We arrive to the square with a half-hour to spare. Attendance is mandatory so the entire square is full already, only the area reserved for the children still has open pockets.

…

It is still odd for me to stand here, with the children of district twelve. Every child from the age twelve to eighteen is here today, herded together towards the middle of the square to await our sentence. The reaping has always been hold in the square, it is where the nicest shops are and the cleanest place in all of district twelve. It could be a pleasant place, but the bright banners and cameras that is focused on us only brings home that soon two children will be sent away to slaughter.

One's likely to be me and the other Peeta. I look for him in the crowed. I want to see him before the reaping starts. Suddenly that's very important. Is stand on my toes and look at every blond head I see, my hand rest lightly on my sister shoulders as we stand in the line for registration. I hardly feel when they prick me, my eyes is searching.

Just before we are split up for our sections I see him. When the guards are not looking I split from Gale and manage to catch up to him. Peeta has just gotten registered and are moving towards his spot, but I manage to grab his arm before the crowd hides him. He's surprised. The other boys move around us, hiding us from the guards unintentionally. We will have a few seconds at the most before they spot me here.

I look at him, his blue eyes swallowing me. I can remember all the happy times we once shared together, but he doesn't know me. It hurts, it hurts so bad that I have a hard time breathing. I know the time is short but I can't bring myself to speak.

Instead of breaking free he turns towards me and takes a step closer. My nose is filled with the smell of him, flour and spices, tears fills my eyes. He suddenly hugs me close, I'm stiff in his arms. It's Peeta I'm touching and I don't want to stop. This is my husband, the boy that will grow to become my hope in life. I have feared this moment for an entire year and still here I now stand, seeking him out of shellfish need.

It feels so right to be here, but I can't allow myself the comfort. I have to get back to my side before anyone sees. He pulls at my braid softly as I pull back. A soft smile greets me as he lets me go.

"You can do this Katniss." He says before he turns away and disappears into the boy's corner. I lose him quickly. I was the one that was supposed to talk, not him. But as always Peeta beats me to the punch, I shouldn't be surprised by that.

Gale is suddenly besides me. Eyeing me with concern, he sees that I'm upset but missed interaction with Peeta.I can hear him trying to talk to me, but all I can give him is a quick squeeze of a hand and then I'm gone. As I take my place I see Prim looking for me and wave. I will be keeping a close eye on her from this moment on, it is only fifteen-minutes before the reaping starts.

I hope that my many prayers has been heard.

…

As time passes the space gets tighter, more claustrophobic as people arrive. The square's quite large, but not enough to hold district twelve's population. That's why the streets has been decorated with thousands of small screen; so that everyone can follow the reaping. The screens shows the temporary stage in front of the justice building, a sterile stage built that holds three chairs, a podium, and two large glass balls; one for the boys and one for the girls.

I hate those glass balls, one of them holds a small piece of paper with my sister's name on it and I want nothing more than to rush up there and throw that crystal ball into the ground and tear every bit of paper to shreds.

I sometimes wonder if I am as insane as I imagine myself to be. The roller-coaster ride of emotion that I have exhausts me; one moment I'm filled with anger, the next I'm almost in tears and seconds after that I'm a hollow shell. Most days I don't know what happening to me, but I struggle on.

My thought are interrupted as the Mayor walks up on the stage; he begins his traditional speech and I quickly lose interest. I focus my eyes on Prims instead and see that her shirt has slipped up again in the back. I smile at it. T

he mayor looks nervous where he stands, his people silent at his feet. We are starved and dirty; he is fat and well dressed. H is a kind man, he hates to send away two innocent children to slaughter. The other choice being the death of him or twelve.

Soon it's time for the victorious tributes to enter the stage. We only have one; Haymitch Abernathy, survivor of the second quarter-quell; he was fourteen. Now he's in his late thirties and a drunk. You can see beer-stains on his purple vest as he walks onto the stage, his legs unstable. Like most in twelve he's slim, even after years of wealth his body has trouble putting on fat and muscle. His dirty-blond hair is masking his face and keeps everyone from noticing the intelligence in his eyes, *their mistake.*

After him comes the capitols escort; Effie Trinket. Dressed in a pink wig, a scary white grin, and plastic-pink dress, with matching shoes. She's like a mouse on speed; quick, squeaky and dumb as a box... for most part. She can be a cunning fox in social circles and fashion, take her away from those and she's useless.

The mayor gives her a quick greeting before they hurry to get Haymitch seated, the man making an absolute fool of himself by dancing around the two of them. It makes me remember why I love Haymitch like a demented uncle, he can always make my day brighter.

As the anthem starts president Snow's melodic-voice seeps through the speakers. Telling us of the world before Panem; about the war, the hunger, despair and later the uprising of thirteen. leading up to the Hunger games.

It pisses me off since thirteen's alive and well, but still here we are paying the price. I'm being unfair, but their part in Prim's death has forever turned me from them.

The Hunger Games in itself was never a complicated game, just brutal. The former president of Panem design the Games to break down resistance; every year twenty-four tributes were chosen to fight in an undisclosed arena until just one lived, it could go one for mere hours up to four weeks. Depending on the viewers and sponsors interest, as well as the tributes skills.

This tactic has won the Capitol over seventy-three years of obedience. To be forced to watch your children being slaughtered and killed for amusement kept us in check, the food kept us grateful and the tributes gave us pride. But as Finnick once said; No one wins the game, we are forever in their grasp. I dread what is before me. A life of slavery, in pretty clothes amongst greedy capitolists or generals. Every tribute can be bought, refusal leading to a loved ones death. That's what could have awaited my sister, the thought makes me sick to my stomach.

As the president speaks I meet Gale's eyes and we both send the other a small smirk when he talks about the odds; twelve hardly have any odds. Before Peeta and I there was no winner, making us into a joke in the arena. I'm almost glad of it, a joke is better than a symbol. Symbols gets killed or hunted and I would like to avoid it this time around.

Bright and bubbly as ever Effie Trinket steps forward when the speech is over. drying a fake tear as she stands behind the podium and gives her signature greeting; "Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!" Big brown eyes looking into the audience, playing her part well.

I stare at the bowls, one slip has Prim's name… while Gale and I have over fifty. As I look to him I know he's thinking of it. He looks to me, pale and stressed. i try to be brave for him and mime; "…. there are still thousands of slips, you will make it…" I don't think he understood me, but he looks a little bit more at ease. For the rest of the reaping he is turned away from me. I leave him be.

…

Suddenly we have come to the part I have feared the most. Effie is done and ar moving to the girls bowl.

"Ladies first!" she exclaims and happily reaches in and delicately pulls out a slip of paper. The crowd draws in a collective breath, you can hear a pin drop. I want to kill her at that moment as she takes the note into her hands. I want to scream, shout and claw her to pieces. That piece of paper is very likely to be my sister and there is this pink thing ready to condemn her to death. I can feel my pulse increasing and I suddenly hear a ringing in my ears and my vision is turning red and black.

I am on my way to black out, a terror greater than anything else stops me. If I faint no one can save Prim. I force myself back to the present and to my horror I suddenly realize that Effie has already said a name and I missed which one. I look around for Prim. *Is it her? Is she safe? Have they taken her yet?*

The entire square is silent and no one is moving. I can't figure out if they said my sister's name or not. I am stuck in a moment of immobility. I need something to jump start me, I have frozen, don't know what's happening... I need help. Someone wake me up.

*I need to save Prim.*