This is a fanfic. The original work belongs to the marvelous Suzanne Collins and any other co-owner. You want to read a good story? Start with the original. This is merely my bad take of the story I've fallen in love with.
I make no profit...
Chapter 28
I'm plagued with nightmares I can't wake up from. Images off Peeta dying on the gurney; Prim being blown up; Rue screaming my name as she get eaten by a mutt. The drugs trap me. Worse are the ones of Clove, Cato and Snow: nightmares about how I killed them or what they would have done if they'd lived. Those have me screaming and begging for mercy, but not a sound gets past my lips.
I'm kept under for 24 hours. Upon waking there's no peace and quiet to be had; no time to collect myself. Doctors, nurses and cameras are up in my face the moment my eyes flutter. It has me wincing in pain and bitterness while my body trembles like a leaf.
I'm cautious from the start since Haymitch is the first in line to greet me. That alone has me on guard. He's ordering the journalist to get out while he gives me a warning glare. Effie distracts the others while I try to figure out that he wants me to do. He barely mouths the words weak and fire. It has me nervous, but I get the meaning and start acting immediately. I pretend that I can't speak for the doctors and act weak for the nurses. When they ask me to move I make half-cries in pain and anguish, my muscles stiffer then in true agony. In the end Haymitch signals for me to thaw a bit. So suddenly I can speak. The doctors are all over me as I complain about my pains.
"Can you see alright?" One asks.
"How is your hearing?" Another jumps in with and so it goes. I don't give to straight answers, more like vague moans and odd hints.
Using the gap in people I try to have a silently conversation with Haymitch. There's more going on here than meets the eye or there wouldn't be so many doctors. I'm quick to notice the fear in his eyes and the constant glances towards the doors to the side. As one of the nurses leaves I glance through the opening and see several peacekeepers standing outside. Oh. Know I understand the fear. It grips me with its cold claws and digs in. Looking to Haymitch again I see the answer to the unasked question: Why are they there? - You angered the king, they're guarding your next move, play along if you wish to live. So I do.
Subtly nodding his way I refocus on the doctor's around me. I'm start apologizing to the staff for my mood, blaming it on the recent trauma and stress, they gracefully accept it. After that I struggle to sit up and answer their question, trying to be more open and direct. A fake smile pasted over my face as they lay in on me. Haymitch starts relaxing and signals to Effie that he's checking up on Peeta. As I hear his name I force a half-gasp though my parched throat. One of the pinkly dresses nurse's hands me a cup of water and I drank it greedily. The cold water travels down my throat and I moan in relief.
"How's Peeta? It comes out as a whisper as I lower the cup, to my secret glee several of the staff looks smitten by my concern, even if Haymitch has to bite back a snort before he leaves.
"Peeta?" I repeat when no one answer, forcing out a tear by pinching my thigh as hard as I can. The sting almost makes me curse.
The people around me launch into an explanation. I can't take it all in, but what I do grasp is that he's fine and well. He had surgery and it was a couple of close calls there, but he came out alright. He's sleeping at the moment. I'm told that the wounds around his arms and abdomen had been bad; they had to replace a lot of muscles and nerves as well as dead flash, but nothing to bothersome. Nodding I pull up the cover.
"Thank you." I mumble while sliding down the bed. "Would it be alright if I slept? I'm very tired."
"Of course miss Everdeen. Everyone out." The head doctor said with a stern voice and soon there's only Effie left. Haymitch slips out with the others. She fluffs up a pillow and helps to bed me down.
"You did great out there dear. You're the star of the show and I'm very proud of you." With that said Effie sailed out the door and I'm finally alone. But I don't relax, there's bound to be cameras all around the room. To my amazement I eventually fall asleep, this time without as terrible nightmares.
The next time I wake it's to the sun blinding me. As I hold out an arm to shield them I feel the call of nature, a full bladder demanding a bathroom visit - NOW. Trying to sit up I look for the bathroom. My muscles protest the movement, but it feels good peeling of the hot covers. The room is large and done in white. There are three doors, one to the hall with the Peacekeepers; one to a closet, if the symbol on it is to be believed, and the last one to a bathroom. *Thank you!*
Pushing my feet off the bed and onto the cold tiles I cringe away. After some searching I find green slippers at the end of the bed that I hurry to slip on. After that I disconnect the five tubes that are attached to my neck, arms and stomach before shuffling to the bathroom. I moan in pleasure as I see its content. It has both a toilet and a shower. I use the toilet first before jumping into the shower. The white and black tiles are smooth and slippery, but there's a handle going around the small stall and I make sure to have a firm grip as I start the hot water. The mist rise in the room. Its pure pleasure for me and I stay under the spray for twenty minutes. When I get out my skin is red like a lobster.
The towels are brown and feel like sandpaper as I dry off, but they get the job down and soon I'm back in my bed and sipping a cup of cold water. Moment's later Haymitch steps into the room and grunts at me. I grunt back as he throws himself onto one of the leather chairs by the large window. After him two nurses appear and they reattached the needles and tubes while tutting at me. Their presence hinders us from talking to one another, but that might be a good thing if his tense shoulders are anything to go by. Something has happened.
The older one of the nurses stares at me in wonder while the younger goes on and one about my deeds in the game, distracting me from what the new threat might be. I want to cuss at them, but refrain. A female doctor comes in just as the pink haired nurse starts asking me whether or not Peeta's a good kisser, saving her from my harsh tongue. She orders the nurses to leave with a shout, making them both jump. As they slip out I study the newcomer. She's dressed in glimmering blue robes and her hair is made out of pearls. It's very odd, but I don't comment on it.
"Everything alright in here? I don't have time for nilly nallys..." Her stern eyes tell me that I better not complain about anything, so I don't. After a short pause she nods and goes over to the black machines hanging on the wall next to my bed. She studies the information on them before taking out a small stick and adding something onto a console. They to flat and far off that I can't see what it is, but a pleasant buzz soon comes over me: drugs. It has my lids going heavy and before I can protest she's out the door.
"Who was that?" I mumble out loud.
"The Dragon." Haymitch voice says from behind and I turn to look at him. "She's a force all in her own. Us tributes hate and fear her."
"I can see why." I agree, pausing before choosing my next words carefully. "Everything's good?"
"Could be better, could be worse. Time will tell." He answers.
Good. That means that I won't be killed in my sleep at least, but I better keep my head down or that will change. I nod in confirmation and Haymitch rolls his eyes at me.
"I must say that you surprised me in there. Many of the choices you made I didn't think you would." He goes on saying, truly curious. I can only imagine exactly which decision or act he was talking about; there was so many stupid once.
"Lost my head early on. That was nothing like I had expected. Totally lost my footing and tried to stay afloat… if that makes any sense." I tell him truthfully.
"It does to a point… can understand it at least, but there's hidden debts to you spitfire. More than I thought and others agree." He hums and gets up. An empty bottle of wine falls from his lap, it rolls over the floor. He ignores it while I watch it come to a stop by my bed. "You nickname suits you. It has started to echo. The girl of fire - appropriate don't you think?"
I cautiously nod, trying to figure out what he's really saying. Why bring up the title? It was already circling before the actual game.
"A lot of attention follows in its wake so be prepared for the time to come." Haymitch goes on saying, his tone light, but the words loaded with more meaning. "You're the Capitols favorite right now."
I suck on my teeth and try to hide the worry his words bring. I finally get the message and nervously grip the cover with my shaking fingers. There have been small rebellions in my name and Snow has noticed it, he has started to fear what I might become. There's still time to sooth his worry, but it's running out. Haymitch eyes sees the realization hitting home and he looks away, unwilling to deal with the fear taking hold of my body and mind.
"How did Peeta do?"
"He's right after you, sometimes even more popular. The protector - that's what they call him. Congratulations: you are now winners of the Games. Good luck to you." With that said Haymitch leaves the room and I let him. I spend the day going over his words, finding new meanings and messages in each word.
By the time night comes the staff has to drug me so I can sleep, my mind too worked up and anxious. It's not just me on the line; Peeta has also become a symbol now. The Protector. The word is loaded and with it the danger multiplies. It's not just me snow has to deal with now, Peeta is just as dangerous.
As sleep steals over me and the room starts to blur and go dark I'm forced to realize that both of us will become tools once again. Nothing I've done to try stopping it has worked, on the opposite really. I think I actually have made it worse for us. Greif claws at my soul as I see Peeta's bloodied face before me and then the fire that took my sister.
*I can't stop it and now, after all the attempts to stay out, I've lost control.*
My mind screams in anguish and pain.