Melancholia

by LadyArmster

Joachim was once human. A proud young nobleman, his fall into vampirism came at a high price. However, his unwillingness to accept his fate was more than Walter bargained for.

26. Chapter 26: Sacrifice

Author's Note: This chapter is really long but I wrote it as an alternate ending to chapter 25, after Joachim arrives at the Cathedral. Note: the events that take place in Chapter 25 still happen except for the part where he meets Catherine. I wrote this after wondering what would have happened if Catherine remained human and met Joachim.

This chapter is dedicated to lateniteslacker. Thank you for editing it and inspiring me to write this!

Moonlight shone through the stained glass, casting pale beams across the empty wooden pews. Incense hung in the air like a fog. Its alluring scent made the pale young man hesitate in the doorway. Joachim scanned the interior of the building, his lips pursing when sudden twinges of loneliness and shame flooded through him. Like a shadow, his lithe figure glided silently between the pews, the tails of his indigo robes fluttering behind him as he went. He swept aside the bloodstained strands of his pearly white hair, drawing a breath as the crimson liquid spilled down his cheeks and smeared the pallid flesh red. Despite the storm encompassing his thoughts, the creature sought refuge within the cathedral. A part of him waited for stone statues of apostles and angels to rebuke him and cast him back into the fires. Their cold, lifeless eyes gazed upon him as he wandered down the aisle, lured by the strange scents drifting through the building's vaulted sanctuary.

Moonlight spilled across his wan visage as if the purity of its light sought to redeem the wretched creature. A grimace swept across his face as he drifted along, his eyes welling with tears that he could not shed for himself. Even if he prayed for salvation God would not listen to him. One of his hands clenched into a fist and squeezed so tightly that his nails punctured through his palm. Blood trickled from the open wounds and dripped upon the marble floor. Yet, his expression remained unchanged. Despair filled him to the point that the labor of carrying it with him was overwhelming. Thoughts began to surface amidst his growing antipathy toward humanity. If you are merciful, God, you will let me die. No one missed me…no one searched for me. There is nothing left for me to live for, now-

Yet, he could barely believe he had thought such a thing when he noticed a familiar figure kneeling before a large cross adorning the back of the altar. Ebony ringlets splayed across her sloping shoulder blades and veiled her face. With a short gasp, the woman turned, her large, emerald eyes falling upon him as if his presence was imaginary. The moment he looked upon her gentle face, tears fled from his eyes and mixed with the blood caking his cheeks. Before she could speak, he drew back and turned away from her, unable to endure the intensity of her sparkling eyes. Beautiful, kind eyes, which reminded him of a past he thought was lost. Without realizing it, he tried to dart to the cathedral's great doors until the sound of her voice called him back.

"Wait!" She cried out, her voice straining as she extended her hand, unwilling to watch him leave. "Joachim…!"

The sound of her voice made him stop in place, immobilized by her warmth and concern. As if meeting her for the first time in a thousand years, he turned to face her, his entire form trembling whilst his lifeless hands hid his face from the purity of her gaze. After drawing a shuddering breath, his lips trembled alongside the barely audible sound of his voice, which drifted through the air like a dying wind.

"Catherine..."

Despite his astonishment and relief, something within him verged on collapsing the longer she looked at him. He felt her emerald eyes searching him, their glittering pools laden with both grief and joy. However, she did not approach him. The aura surrounding his pale figure betrayed his human guise.

"What happened to you?" Catherine asked when his hands fell to his side and revealed the ashen visage they had concealed.

Moonbeams flooded through the cathedral's stained glass windows, casting a kaleidoscope of colors across the floor, which contrasted against the dark look that appeared within the young man's icy eyes. Catherine's tear-filled gaze tried to drown his hatred and anger with joy.

"I prayed everyday for your safe return! You look pale, Joachim…so very…pale."

As though she were in the presence of death itself, her once hopeful eyes became suddenly downcast. Her hand flew to her mouth in an attempt to stifle the sobs escaping her throat as he looked away in shame, his voice sounding oddly faint, as though it were not his own. "Don't look at me, for I am unworthy of you, now. I wanted to see you before I no longer remember myself. You know I can't stay." For a long time she did not speak. The woman's bright, emerald eyes merely looked at his pale, lifeless figure. Blood covered his regal clothes and armor, the scent of it mingling with the incense. A heavy sigh parted through his bloodied lips as he wrung his hands.

"I should not have come here!" With an anguished sob, he turned from her once again, for he could not stand the sight of her grief-filled expression. Even though he should have left, he lingered long enough to add sorrowfully. "I missed you, Catherine. You must despise the one who brought nothing except ruin upon this village. The blood covering my hands marks the damnation of my soul."

"No!" She cried out, refusing to allow him to drive himself further into despair. Without giving him the chance to continue, she flew toward him with the swiftness of a bird, her long, amethyst dress flowing around her as she ran. She flung her arms around his waist and pulled him toward her, refusing to let go as the soft, quavering sound of her plea sought to heal his injured soul.

"I will not let you condemn yourself, Joachim. Why is it so difficult for you to accept my feelings? I have known you too long to let you go."

"I am dead…it's too late…" He attempted to pry her away, even though it made her cling to him harder still.

The warmth of her touch sent shudders of pain and relief through his body. The woman's determination tore into his heart, for if he left her, he would bring her even greater pain.

"You don't understand what I am," he breathed while kissing her raven locks with his sallow lips, unable to look at her as he buried his face in her hair.

The warmth of her embrace and her love sustained him. Nevertheless, he could not grant her the familiarity of his kiss upon her lips, for his own were cold and devoid of life. He felt her petite form wince under the icy touch of his hands as he caressed her cheeks.

"I want you to remember me as I was. When you visited me that fateful night and showed me how to love…I was human. We are not of the same world, now."

Catherine shook her head, her voice rising alongside the fear and sorrow reflecting within her gaze. "I don't believe you! You are not dead-"

"Look at me!" Impatience and desperation threatened to break him at last.

With a feral snarl, he fought his way free and drifted back. The woman's eyes widened, staring at the sight of his slender frame levitating above the floor. The creature's hair floated around his pallid face, emphasizing the white coloration of his skin. Joachim bit his lower lip and winced upon hearing Catherine gasp the moment she caught sight of the blood covering him. The red liquid stained his robes and armor and reflected ominously off the metallic steel encasement. The sound of her fear prompted him to lift his hand. He pointed his claw-like index finger at her while his steely glare sought to drive her back.

"Look at me and tell me what you see! Do you see a man standing before you, or an undead thing covered in human blood? The person you knew – Joachim Armster – is dead. I wish you did not see me this way."

The woman lifted her head, the coils of her glossy, black ringlets cascading haphazardly across her shoulders. A deep, overwhelming sigh parted through her trembling lips when her shining green eyes locked with his. "I see only a frightened young man, covered in blood, asking God why you must suffer so! If you were truly inhuman, you would not have come here in the first place. Even if God does not answer, I am here…for you. Don't abandon me as you have abandoned yourself!" Tears streamed down her lovely face and dripped off her chin. In an effort to regain her composure, she wiped the droplets away and stepped forward, undaunted by the strange purple aura surrounding his body.

"What difference does it make?" Joachim snapped, burning her with the fire in his eyes.

In an effort to convince her, his sallow lips parted to reveal the sharp, gleaming incisors. Upon sighting them, a startled scream broke from her throat until her hand flew to cover her mouth. The woman fell silence as he continued darkly.

"You live in a world of fantasies. Not all stories are meant to end happily, Catherine."

"Who did this to you?" To his surprise, she stepped toward him once again.

The skirt of her long, flowing dress trailed behind her across the floor. He felt her eyes scan him carefully, though her pensive expression seemed to indicate she already knew the answer. Anger filled her voice, which echoed through the sanctuary like an angel's lament.

"No! No, no…it could not have been…Lord Bernhard?"

When his silence confirmed the terrible truth, she shook her head, attempting to fight against his despair.

"We determine our own endings!" She shouted, almost with a will to make the entire structure of the cathedral crumble under the force of her anger and pain. Yet again, she flew toward him and cupped his face with her hands, willingly embracing the dead, ashen flesh. "I would rather believe in fantasies than accept your view of reality, Joachim! I am not a character from one of your books that you can read on a whim! I would never think you could be devoid of all love and humanity."

"What of the people I butchered?" He countered, his lips releasing the words in a snake-like hiss. "Are you so certain I am not inhuman? I hate them all, and more so, myself! If you love me, you will kill me…for only then…"

"How could you ask me to take your life?" Catherine accused, her eyes burning against his in fury. Shame abruptly extinguished the fire in his eyes as he listened to her continue, her voice straining against her sorrow. "What would killing you accomplish? Even though you are…different...your heart is unchanged."

"But yours is?" Joachim breathed, barely able to sustain himself as he looked at her lovely face. The woman's soft, graceful features entrenched him completely. Despite her insistence, his own self-doubt made him unwilling to accept the truth in her words. How could a creature of her caliber love him? He noticed her wince from his observation, her eyes dulling somewhat when she caught the scent of blood upon him. Countless people fell to the merciless blades floating behind him until their metallic edges were covered with blood and flesh. A gentle sigh parted though her lips when she embraced his brokenness. He felt her warm, tender hands pull him close to her chest until his sensitive ears caught the rapid drum of her heartbeat.

Though rage continued to pulse through his withered veins, her very touch dulled his pain and fear. "Your anger is understandable but you must control it. Every day I had to endure listening to them condemn you as a monster. Don't confirm their judgments by becoming one."

"Is it not the truth?" His pale eyes widened further when she shook her head. Grief filled him at the thought of her suffering. He could not imagine what it was like for her during his absence. The young man noticed her face paled when he added deliberately. "They must have spoken ill of you, as well. I am undeserving of your devotion. I have done many terrible things…and betrayed you…"

"The curse was wrought upon you by Lord Bernhard. God shall judge Walter for his crime."

Joachim fell into an uneasy silence. His betrayal ran deeper than words alone could explain, or than Catherine might have expected. Yet, he refrained from speaking further on the matter since he could not bear the thought of wounding her. Pain etched across the woman's delicate, beautiful face while she held the pale young man close.

Joachim could feel the blood rushing through her veins, the red liquid veiled by her smooth, soft skin. "God shall not judge Walter," he whispered. "Because he lives forever. I will also live for eternity in this state. Unchanging and undead, whilst you live, love, and grow old…without me."

He pictured it in his mind before she could grace him with a reply. Though he would always find beauty in her, time would pass, and God would draw her soul closer to Him. Whereas Catherine was bound to God's decree of limited life, he was not. The cruel hand of time had frozen him in a state of eternal youth. Joachim imagined himself standing by her side, watching years begin to take their toll upon her until he stood alone over two lonely graves upon a hill. Tears swam in his eyes and he shuddered as though a cold wind swept across his face. In his mind's-eye, he saw himself kneeling beside a grave, his robes sweeping around him in the night wind whilst his head lowered, grieving the passage of time and wishing to reclaim it. Time would carry her away from him like the tide until the memory of her existence washed away from his thoughts.

Catherine released a sigh and gave a weak smile. He watched her lips curve, the delicate contours of her face lightening in spite of his ill-omened observation. She took his hand and pressed it to her lips, undaunted by the uncertainty that defined the nature of human existence. The woman's other hand combed through the locks of his pearly white hair, which took on a satin-like texture in the pale moonlight enveloping them.

"I only wish for you to stop this madness and realize I am here for you."

Though he did not return her smile, deep inside himself, he wanted her to save him. During all the long dark nights with Walter he longed for Catherine's presence. She had suffered so much for his sake that he could not fathom why she still believed in his humanity. Yet, he knew the reason, in spite of feigning ignorance.

"I murdered people." He murmured the word murder, for it had acquired a poison-like connotation when he considered the brutality of his darker self. He feared touching her, as though she were a precious ornament he could shatter instantly. "Now that you know what I am, you must understand I am dangerous. Tonight I tasted human blood. I tried to resist, but I failed…and will seek it out until more lives are lost."

"If you surrender to your bloodlust, you will only make it stronger." Catherine blinked at him in the pale light, her eyes lingering upon the bloodstained fangs protruding between his lips. Very gently, she cleaned the blood away from his face with her hand. "Do not harm humans. Protect them, for they are weaker in mind and body than you are, and ignorant as well. There is a way we can control your thirst."

"Control it? How?" He gave her a skeptical look while lips curled into a frown at the thought. To him, fighting the thirst was like trying to tame a savage beast. Always, the hunger reminded him of his deadly potential. "Catherine, you don't understand…"

The smile upon her face broadened as she held him closer, drawing her face so near to his own that he could feel the warmth of her breath skim across his cheeks. The contrast between them was evident – for his skin was so white that the moonlight shining upon him seemed to absorb him within it completely. Before he could object, he felt her hand touch his face, the gesture drawing him into silence when she spoke. "There are many ways of extracting blood. We will discuss that later."

"No-" He tried to speak but she shook her head, pressing a finger upon her lips.

"The villagers are looking for you! Hide between the pews, now!"

Before he could object, he heard one of the cathedral's great doors groan. Catherine gasped him by the hand and pulled him toward the pews lining the massive sanctuary. A man's voice echoed through the air as she motioned for him to hide from view. Joachim smirked, knowing he could have killed the human who had entered without the slightest thought. Nevertheless, he sent his swords away, commanding them to lay sideways across the floor as he lowered himself between two pews and fell still.

Despite concealing himself, he could still see Catherine standing in the aisle across from him. The woman's bright green eyes brightened. "Papa!"

"Catherine!"

Joachim heard the man's gruff voice resound as he approached, his boots thumping heavily across the cathedral's stone floor until he appeared. His dark, glinting eyes looked upon his daughter urgently when they embraced. The gesture was short-lived, for he stepped back and grasped her by the shoulders, his voice becoming stern after their brief reunion.

"Thank God you are alive! Come, we must go, I have prepared a wagon and horse outside. That pale monster attacking our village seems to have disappeared – for the time being."

Despite his urgency, Catherine shook her head. The man lifted an eyebrow from her reply, his voice hardening when she did not move. One of his hands nervously stroked his bearded face.

"What on earth are you thinking?" He accused, his hand lifting away from his beard and flailing the air as though he might strike her. Nevertheless, Catherine did not flinch, even when her father's trembling hand came within inches of her cheek. Between gritted enamels the man rasped. "You have not seen what it has done! Bodies lay scattered about the streets like animals and the fire could engulf this cathedral! I saw Sir Dellamaria, Lady Caelan, and Emmaline strewn in pieces across the ground! That thing responsible is a monster! I forbid you to stay here and fall to its butchery-"

"No!" Joachim nearly jumped upon hearing her scream. With the courage of a knight, she backed away and folded her arms across her chest. All at once, the woman's calm green eyes were alight by a strange ferocity he had never witnessed her express before. Yet, her father's surprise was even greater than his own, for her words commanded him into a sullen silence. "Do as you will but I am not leaving. I will stay here and pray for him."

"You can't!" The man's voice quavered as he towered over her, trying to make her see reason even though she had already decided.

Although Joachim despised Luciano, he could not help admiring his persistence. Perhaps, it would have been best…if you keep her from me, after all. Take her away…she will hate you for it…but she will be safe… However, the harder the man fought against his daughter's will, the more determined Catherine seemed to become. Joachim watched her father grasp her by the wrist, attempting to drag her with him while he protested.

"You needn't pray for that pale devil because its soul is already damned! Come away, Catherine! Though it claimed your chastity, I shall not let it claim your life as well! I will kill it, lest it dare harm you-"

"Enough, papa!" She held up her hand, her eyes brimming with tears while she widened the gap between them and wrenched her wrist free. The man looked at her as if she had lost her senses, his dark eyes widening in both rage and astonishment upon hearing her cry out. "You were among those who left him to die! Walter was the one killing people not Joachim! Now, look upon what cruelty has wrought!"

"I have!" The man sneered, his eyes hardening upon her like blackened diamonds. With a huff, he stepped forward again, refusing to concede despite the anguish in her eyes. "Go beyond these doors and see the corpses for yourself. That wretch made you with child! The crimes it has committed are endless-"

"I gave myself to him, willingly! It was no crime!" She shouted as the tears began to fall once again. Nearly trembling in rage, she began to sob, her voice shaking as she fought to form her thoughts into coherent words. "You condemn him like the rest and I will not go with you!"

"That thing is the devil incarnate! You will obey me-"

"I will not!" Her hands balled into fists and she stomped the floor with her foot, as though the gesture was capable of shaking the very foundations of the cathedral.

Coils of her thick, raven hair spilled across her shoulders whilst her amethyst dress swept around her when she turned away. Her defiance threatened to snap the man's patience completely. Like a wild beast, the man shook in rage, his eyes burning against her backside with a temptation to carry her off, with or without her consent. However, the woman's bold tone made him remain at a distance, as though he had become one of the many statues lining the interior of the cathedral. Catherine's delicate lips parted, releasing a heavy, grief-filled sigh.

Her voice, though unwavering, sounded oddly faint to the vampire hiding nearby. "Love is not a crime! The person whom you call a thing, is Joachim Armster. I do not condone what he did but I will not condemn him, either. Walter Bernhard is more suitable for the label of 'devil,' though humankind often misunderstands that word. Forgive my disobedience, papa."

"Catherine!" The man pleaded once again. "I beseech you! What if that creature-"

"I trust Joachim." She replied before he could disclose the warning she had prepared herself to hear. Nevertheless, her voice shook when she added, finalizing their argument with her resolute admission. "I love him. Go, now. We will meet again another time."

Yet, Joachim sensed in her voice, a dire uncertainty that indicated 'another time' might never come.

"But the other villagers…" Her father insisted one last time, though his voice was flat, for it was clear she would not concede. The man turned toward the door, his posture somewhat resembling a wilted plant in need of water. "If they see him, they will kill him…and if…they find the both of you…" But there was no need to complete the statement, for the man knew she was well aware of the possibility. With a heavy sigh, and even heavier steps, he began a slow trek back to the doors, his voice lowering as he made his departure. "Though I curse him, I love you, my daughter. I will wait for you in Brendelham."

To this, she gave no reply, except to lower her head and whisper under her breath. "Farewell, papa."

With a final glance over his shoulder, the man disappeared into the night. The bright, orange glow of fire flickered in the distance.

Joachim rose from his crouching position between the pews. The young man surveyed her silently, watching her shoulders tense as she turned around to face him and lowered her head. Her thick ringlets spilled against her cheeks, emphasizing the bright glint in her emerald eyes.

Catherine was the first to break the silence that followed. "I will not leave you, Joachim."

The faint trace of a smile creased the corners of his lips. With a trembling hand, he reached out to her, his calmness masking the turmoil within him. "I know."

"I chose to stay." She continued, though he was uncertain of whether she was trying to convince herself of it more than him. Without looking back, she swept toward him, accepting his hand. The moment her warm flesh brushed against his pallid, dead hand, Joachim noticed her withhold a shudder. "You are cold and covered in blood. Come with me."

"Catherine…" He began, but the words seemed locked inside his throat.

The youth looked at her gently, squeezing her hand as she led him to the back of the cathedral and into the rooms hidden beyond, which were previously occupied by priests and monks. She led him down a narrow passageway to a windowless room with a tiny bed in the corner. The room was sparse, and possessed only a bed, nightstand, and modest fireplace.

With a smile, she paused in the doorway. "You can sleep here. Dawn is coming and you must be exhausted. First, I think you should have a bath, for you will feel much better afterward. I don't like the sight of blood."

"Are you certain you wish to stay?" Joachim looked at her, feeling a lump develop in his throat and a strange ache fill his heart.

The woman had already sacrificed too much for his sake. For a moment, his face seemed to pale even further when he pondered their precarious circumstances. As hard as she tried to believe it, things would not be as they were.

In an effort to comfort her, he forced the smile upon his lips to broaden whilst his voice lightened. "It has been too long since we last spoke and I have a great deal of teasing to do. You always insist upon taking care of me, when it is I who should be taking care of you. To think, even as a vampire, I cannot survive without you. How…ironic, isn't it?"

She shoved him gently and suppressed a laugh, her emerald eyes brightening from the sight of his smile. Nevertheless, despite his display of affection, he noticed her flinch upon glimpsing at the tips of his fangs.

Catherine turned away and hurried down the corridor, speaking her reply as she went. "Your chatter will not distract me from bathing you, Joachim. Wait there."

After waiting alone for a short time, she returned to the doorway and led him into the room beside his. A large steel basin was set out on the middle of the stone floor. Catherine grabbed the boiling bucket hanging over the fire in the heath and filled the basin with hot water. Steam wafted through the tiny room, causing droplets of condensation to appear upon his ashen skin. Without waiting for his consent, she untied the leather trusses securing his armor and removed his robes, folding them and setting them aside on the floor.

"All right," she began merrily. "You can get into the basin, now. The water should be the perfect temperature for a nice, hot bath."

Joachim felt his cheeks burn a shade of crimson and lowered his head, curtaining his face behind his silky white hair. His naked body shamed him. The ashen curves of his arms and legs, his slender, well-defined neck and shoulder blades were completely devoid of their former color. The network of veins hidden beneath his pasty white skin contained stolen blood. He did not wish for her to see the pale creation symbolizing the struggle between life and death. In death, he had become a pale, Godless predator of humanity. Even his own body was foreign to him. He feared Catherine would look upon him with disgust, as he often did when he glimpsed at his reflection. The fact that his face would remain unchanged marred his ability to find beauty in himself. Nothing about him was beautiful. Beneath his white skin and hair lay indescribable darkness. Like a man fighting for his last breath, so too, was he fighting to save himself from…himself. The curse did not care who he was, who he loved, or who he could have been had he lived. Veiled behind the pale spheres of his eyes dwelled the fragments of a broken soul.

From the corner of one eye, he watched her pick up a sponge and rag as he stepped into the steaming basin, murmuring under his breath. "Catherine, must you…stare at me...while I am naked? Don't you find it rather…"

But he did not bother finishing his sentence, for the moment he lowered himself into the water, her hands massaged his back. Her touch made his face flush a shade so vibrant that for a moment, when he saw his reflection in the water, he thought he was human again. The woman's hands kneaded the tense muscles in his shoulders, caressing the cold, white flesh as if it were nothing out of the ordinary. Yet, he sensed a tension in her hands whilst she adjusted to his unnatural coldness.

Catherine's light-hearted words almost convinced him she was unbothered by it. "Joachim! Have you forgotten those nights when you were barely able to get out of bed? I remember last year alone, you were bedridden for nearly a fortnight. Who do you think changed your clothes and washed you? Perhaps, it was the elves and the fairies?" She giggled.

The sound of her delight made him chuckle at the absurdity of his reserve. With a playful huff, his hand flicked a few droplets at her face as he whispered. "Not fairies – but an angel…whom I owe my life to. An angel who washes blood and pain away with her love. I did many terrible things…too many…"

In the dim candlelight, the woman's eyes glinted whilst she cupped his face reassuringly, her voice falling quiet. In the thick, haze of steam and water, she seemed almost surreal. He feared that if he blinked even for a second, he would wake up from a dream. Yet, the touch of her warm hand upon his face – and the damp, heaviness in the air from the steam, alerted him to the fact that she was with him at last.

"It was the curse…not you." A gentle sigh escaped his lips when she picked up a sponge and began to wash him, lightly scrubbing the blood off his hands and cheeks. In a matter of moments, the red liquid mixed with the water and tinted it red.

"Sometimes," he answered after a brief silence. "I can't tell the difference."

"I can. For when I look at you, I see only my melancholy Joachim. You still wear that familiar, sad expression upon your face. This was no fault of your own."

Despite her comforting words, his body tensed and his hand lifted from the water and fell upon hers, which had been resting upon the edge of the basin.

He stroked the skin tenderly, his pale eyes locking into hers while his voice trembled to speak the fears clouding his relief. "Will I be damned for the crimes I committed, Catherine?"

"You will not be," The smile remaining upon her lips proved there was not an ounce of hesitation in her response. "If you are regretful and seek forgiveness, God will forgive you."

"But what about you?" Joachim persisted and continued to look at her lovely face, feeling unworthy of the affection she bestowed upon him so freely…and fearing it. As much as he pined for her to accept his changed state, a growing darkness inside his soul reminded him that he was inhuman. Perhaps, her ability to accept him was not based upon love alone. He had always been pale and sickly as long as she knew him. "Your opinion matters more to me, Catherine, since you believe I can overcome the curse."

"No matter what happens, we will find a way to cope with these circumstances."

"I suppose that means I will find ways to cope with you, as well." He winked and splashed her with a handful of water.

"Oh, Joachim!" Catherine scolded, though she began to laugh, her face warming his soul more than the steam and the water combined. She tussled her hair, which had become damp to the point that it clung against her face and shoulders. "I'd say you haven't changed a bit! Must you always tease me, even now?"

"Must you always pretend you dislike it?"

For what felt like the first time since he was turned, laughter broke from his throat whilst he pulled her toward him and grasped the corset of her dress. He almost forgot what it was like to feel joy. Steam wafted around her like a halo, giving her a kind of unearthly grace that made him marvel, as though God himself designed her in His own image like the saints he praised during mass. Though his hand was as cold as ice, she did not shy away from his touch. Joachim's eyes transfixed themselves upon her, his fingers gradually loosening the corset whilst his voice resembled a summer breeze. "I still remember the softness of your lips and the warmth of your smile. Do not ever let me forget."

"I promise I won't."

With a gentle tug, the corset came loose and fell away, revealing her sloping shoulder blades and her graceful figure. For a long moment, his pale eyes absorbed her image as if engraining it into his memory for fear that he would indeed, forget what she looked like. The candlelight caressed her skin, illuminating every aspect of her figure amidst the steam enveloping them both like a fog. His hand trailed up her torso to stroke the modest contours of her left breast, feeling the taut, supple nipple brush across the base of his fingertips. He memorized every contour, the slickness of her warm skin, and the slow, even pulse of her heart within her chest. As if he touched a porcelain doll, he took her hand and helped her into the tub before resting her petite figure upon him in the water. Their legs intertwined, and he sighed from feeling her hands caress his hair, washing the blood caking its white strands away with the water. "I missed you," He breathed in her ear. "I don't know what I would have done without you. The division between life and death is unclear. I feel human again because of you. Perhaps, your presence will help me control my thirst - before it controls me."

"Do not fear," She reassured, her emerald eyes shining hopefully as her face neared his until their lips came within inches of each other. Her thick, black hair drifted in the water. "I will always believe in your humanity. Nothing will convince me otherwise."

They lay in the water for some time before returning to bed. Joachim wrapped his arms around her waist and smothered her lips in a tender kiss. He lifted his hand and caressed her cheek, cherishing the feel of her warm skin against his own. Within moments, she led him toward the tiny bed, her warm, smooth form covering him. Joachim felt one of her hands slide down his torso to his thighs to gently part his legs. "Catherine…" He whispered her name like a prayer. The moment he felt her hand skim across the hardening organ, he flinched unexpectedly. Her damp, wet body was untouchable and full of life, while his was pale and cold. In that instant, he would have looked away, though her glittering green eyes reminded him of who he was. She broke their kiss, her lips trailing down to his neck and across his chest whilst he ran his fingers across her breasts, kneading them gently until she began to stroke his erection. A smile creased the corners of his lips. There was no one in the world he would give himself to more readily than her. It surprised him that his pale and cold appearance did not disgust her in the slightest.

His longing to be close to her overcame his aversion of himself. They were together. After all the hardship, loneliness, and despair she was with him, now. A smile slowly appeared across his lips whilst her hand caressed his lower region, stimulating explosions of pleasure and delight as he wrapped her in his embrace. Once his arousal reached its peak, she positioned herself on top of him and rested her legs next to his hips, sitting upright so their eyes could meet. Her thick, raven hair cascaded across the sloping curves of her shoulders and breasts like silk as he gazed into her bright, green eyes and treasured her with all his heart. Hope existed whenever he looked at her, and sought comfort from her beautiful, kind face. The moment she converged upon him, he remembered not the dark nights he spent in the grand, empty castle of Eternal Night. Instead, he remembered Catherine, and sunlit afternoons in the fields reading their favorite books, or playing games of chess in his manor. Though it seemed long ago, nothing had changed between them. It was easier to despair than to hope.

A gasp fled her lips when the hard, bulbous head of his member parted the narrow passageway. His fingers clung to the sheets whilst his pale eyes widened, feeling the warmth of her insides surround him as she eased him inside and began to move. Everything around him seemed to stop in that moment, with the sole exception of Catherine's body. Her hips swiveled forward and back and eased him into a slow, rocking rhythm. Joachim saw her lips part and draw a sharp breath when he responded and drove his erection deeper inside her, speaking her name. After a few moments, they moved together, his pale, lithe form bucking against her thrusts. Gasps of pleasure fled his gaping mouth whilst she increased the momentum of her thrusts. He wrapped his arms tighter around her until her body covered him completely, enveloping him in her warmth.

More than anything, he wished he was human again…

And in that moment, with her, he was.

---

After a time, he awoke upon the bed in the dark, windowless room. Though he could not see outside, it was instinctive for him to sleep during the day. Night was the only safe time for him to wander about. Thus, after a long rest, he sat up and noticed Catherine on the edge of the bed holding a candle in one hand and a cup in the other.

"Good evening!" She greeted him with a cheerful smile, her eyes glinting in the candlelight, though part of her face was shadowed in darkness, giving her a mysterious, and almost mystical appearance. "I brought you something to drink. I thought you might need it when you awoke. You appear quite fatigued, Joachim."

"It's nothing." He returned her smile with his own and accepted the wooden cup she offered him. Since his eyes were better adjusted than hers to darkness, it did not take him long to see that a deep, red liquid slosh inside the cup when he brought it close to his face and caught its scent. "What kind of blood is this? It smells…strange. Where are on earth did you get it, Catherine? I assure you, I can find my own food."

She huffed, her lips curving into a slighted frown while she reached for a second wooden cup on the nightstand next to the bed and picked it up. "Try it, Joachim, before you give me that sour look of yours. While you slept, I found a few chickens wandering around the streets."

"You can't be serious?" He gasped, his eyes flitting between her and the cup in his hand. "A gentle creature like you wouldn't harm a fly! I can scarcely see you chasing chickens like a madwoman!"

The image of her running around with an axe seemed somehow comic, despite the fact that Catherine returned his remark with a scathing glare. For a moment, he thought she might rip the cup out of his hand and dump it on his head. Perhaps, when they were children she would have done it to teach him a lesson.

However, her once congenial expression faded into a grimace as her voice quavered. "I scarcely see why you find this amusing, Joachim! We must find an alternative to human blood that will sustain you. The blood of a chicken will have to suffice for now. I drained it into the cup for you."

"Very well, I will try it. I hope you will keep your axe at bay if I wretch from the taste." With a smirk, he pressed the cup against his lips and downed the liquid in several quick, hungry gulps.

Catherine stiffened upon hearing his response, her eyes widening at the sight of blood streaming freely from the corners of his lips and down his throat in thin, dark red lines. The blood contrasted against his pasty white flesh, its dull sheen gleaming in the candle's faint light until he finished and wiped it away with the back of his sleeve. His face wrinkled, for its foul taste filled his mouth and made him gag.

"Disgusting!" He seethed, gripping the cup to the point that he did not even feel it crack under the force he exerted. "At least it made my hunger relent, though next time, be sure to let me drink it before it congeals."

"I will try." Catherine nodded and brought the glass she held to her lips.

"What are you-" For a moment, he stared at her in shock, his pale eyes widening at the sight of the red liquid in her own cup.

Catherine giggled at his surprise, her voice lightening once again. "It's wine, silly! You are not the only one who is thirsty!"

Joachim began to laugh after he realized the foolishness of his assumption. The sound of his laugher filled the darkened room. The candle's glowing light flickered across his ashen visage, casting a thin silhouette behind on the wall behind him. Between his fits of laughter, he exclaimed. "Oh! You are so much purer than I, Catherine! How I admire you for not having to live as I do and drink the blood of beasts. Truly, I am envious. If only Walter could see me now, sitting here drinking chicken's blood! I am certain he would find it quite humorous and bless me with a kiss!"

"Joachim?" Catherine rose slowly from the bed.

Her emerald eyes stared at him while she returned the candle and cup to the nightstand. The candle's light radiated around her, flickering when wax pooling around the base of the tiny flame threatened to extinguished it.

While giving him a long, hard look, her voice fell oddly quiet. "Lack of blood has made you excitable. Please, calm down and rest a while longer. I will try to get you more blood tomorrow evening. Unfortunately, it was hard to see through the smoke covering the streets, and most of the village's livestock died in the fire."

"Ah, of course." He shook his head and his laughter abruptly dissipated. "I set that fire, you know. I watched them burn and listened to their cries for mercy, and did nothing to save them."

"We need not discuss that." She lowered her head and turned away, avoiding his penetrating stare. "The curse overcame you. It shall not happen again-"

"Because you are here." A smile spread across his pale, cracked lips.

He rose from the bed and hovered in front of her, taking her hand. He felt her warm fingers brush against his, whilst he watched her resist the urge to pull away. After hesitating a moment, she allowed him to lead her from the room.

"I am glad you stayed." he whispered as if to himself, though loudly enough for her ears to hear. "Thank you for bringing blood to me, for I know you dislike the sight of it. It will take some time for me to adjust. I hope you know I am grateful."

"Of course I do." A weak smile spread across her lips when they entered the moonlit sanctuary.

Nighttime had once again returned to the world. Thousands of tiny, twinkling stars decorated the night sky beyond the cathedral's massive windowpanes. Joachim scanned the massive room, feeling as if he would lose himself within the grandeur that calmed and cursed him simultaneously. The gilded cross upon the back wall of the altar stung his eyes and prompted a sneer to wash across his smooth, pale face.

"Isn't this place beautiful?" She exclaimed, pausing a moment to admire the same cross he had looked upon with disgust. "Tis' best that we remain here for a while. People are looking for you. When they cease searching, we shall find another place to hide."

"I do not want to hide." A sigh escaped his lips and he looked at the sky beyond, gazing at the white moon looming in the darkness like a lantern.

For a moment, he forgot that it was natural for the moon to be white instead of red. The moon's milky light spilled across his face, turning him nearly completely white, and reflecting off his silver-lined armor like a mirror. When she gave no reply, he huffed and glanced at the thin shadow of himself on the floor.

Catherine's lips pursed, her eyes blinking at him in the moonlight as his voice drifted through the air. "You accept me so surely others will when they realize I only consume the blood of animals. I would gladly drink the blood of beasts for your sake. There isn't much difference, really…"

Catherine's smile faded. She lowered her head, her face hidden behind the locks of her ebony ringlets. Her voice, somewhat sad, remained gentle. "Even though I accept you, Joachim, that does not mean others will. I don't think it's fair, but humans fear what they do not understand."

Joachim grimaced, and all too suddenly, the beauty of the night became like a curse to him. Anguish ripped through his eyes like fire as he pulled Catherine closer to him, pressing his cheek against hers, desperate to make her warmth drive back the emptiness overwhelming him. It pained him when he detected her shudder, though she attempted to hide it behind the reassuring smile she displayed. A sob filled the silence when he lamented the hardship bestowed upon him by Walter –and the devil –though he knew not which had cursed him first.

"Never mind it then," he said. "Do not ever leave me, for I do not know what I would do without you. I…love you, Catherine…"

"Why would I leave you?" She asked, blinking at him in the moonlight, and somewhat taken aback by his resolve. "You always worry that the moment you obtain something, it will be lost. What happened to you at Eternal Night? What did Lord Bernhard do to you, what did he say? You must never return to that place, lest he make you fall further into shadow."

Even though her eyes searched him for answers, he refused to surrender them to her. A coy little smile spread across his lips when he thought of Walter. Longing seeped inside his unwilling heart, as though a part of himself was somehow missing. The red-haired vampire surely missed him the same way Catherine did. Perhaps, Walter was searching for him that very moment, or waiting for his prized companion to return. However, he would not, for the missing piece in his heart belonged to Catherine. He would not let her go this time, no matter what the personal cost. More than he realized, he wanted to be human again. Normalcy, once repulsive, allured him with thoughts of keeping Catherine by his side. Yet, despite his efforts to be human, his coldness forced him to remain in the shadows where Walter had cast him. "I remember once," he mused as they stood together in the abandoned cathedral.

"I asked you why you still stayed with me. You told me I knew the answer, and you were right. You will stay with me forever, even if I will not join you in heaven?"

"What do you mean?" She sighed, her eyes lingering upon him with a kind of uncertainty that made her fall completely still. "Why do you think you won't go to heaven, Joachim? Yes, you killed people, but it was because you fell to the power of the curse and regret it. God understands."

"I will live forever." He breathed, his thoughts whirling when the implication of it returned to plague his mind like a swarm of locusts. "You will go to heaven someday without me. What am I to do, then?"

"Remember me and time we shared together. When you were human, you feared dying and leaving me. Has it occurred to you I fear the same thing you once did?" Catherine released his hand and turned away, the moonlight spilling across her face and amethyst dress like milk. A quiet, though audible sob escaped her as she cupped her hands in front of her face and gazed at the cross adorning the wall of the altar. Her voice firmed. "All I ask is that you treasure our time together. Evidently, you cannot."

"No, don't say that! I am grateful for the time we have!"

"Really?" She challenged, her voice becoming firmer, still. "Must you be so selfish, Joachim? Is one lifetime together not enough?"

Silence filled the air. Joachim trembled, his eyes brimming with tears from the thought of wounding her with his despair. Catherine suffered also. Droplets cascaded down his wan cheeks whilst he drifted toward her, taking her hand in his and lifting her into the air. He focused his thoughts, commanding the aura surrounding him to encompass her as well, so that they floated together above the floor, their two forms like ghosts of their former selves. Catherine's eyes widened the moment her feet left the floor and she let out a gasp while he lifted her higher into the air. A smile pressed across his lips until he paused, suspending her with him mid-way between the floor and the cathedral's painted ceiling. The kind, joyous faces of angels looked down upon them, almost taking on a kind of curiosity and amusement.

"Don't be afraid." He soothed, his voice echoing off the walls while she clung to him fiercely, unaccustomed to the fact that he could levitate.

With a chuckle, he placed his left hand upon her waist and gripped her right hand, steadying her in place while glided through the air, his feet dancing across the nothingness beneath them as though it was second nature. Delight appeared within his pale spheres as he guided her along, encouraging her to move in step with him despite the distance between their feet and the floor.

"Do you remember my twentieth birthday, Catherine? I wanted to ask you to dance and never got the chance – as a human, anyway."

"Let us talk only of the present, Joachim." The smile returned to her face, her emerald eyes glittering whilst they danced.

The stained glass windows reflected a collage of colors across them as they moved together in the air. Somehow, he had managed to find wonder in what he was as they danced. As a mortal, he often dreamed of dancing and fighting heathens on the battlefield. Days were often wasted watching life pass slowly by as he languished in bed, too ill to move or even speak. Years spent pining for the chance to walk and run without faintness deterring him. All the while, Catherine remained by his side, caring for him during his darkest hours when death threatened to take him from the world. Deep, within the confines of his memory, he remembered lying in bed – hearing the faint sound of her crying when she feared the worst. It occurred to him that as a vampire he was stronger, faster, and uninhibited by illness. Joy filled him at the thought that they could do whatever they liked, for he was well again, and no longer feared death.

The smile upon his lips broadened as he neared her face, catching the scent of lilacs upon her as he kissed her cheek. Delicately, his lips traced her sloping neck, kissing her fervently. He held her tighter, pulling her against him, as he felt her pulse thump beneath the fragile flesh. His lips ravenously licking and tasting the unbroken skin, whilst his breaths became heavy. A low, audible moan filled his throat when he took the vulnerable flesh between his lips and suckled upon it like an infant. He could see the veins beneath the smooth skin. Intricate, connecting passageways containing the luscious, red liquid he longed to sample, if only for a moment.

The muscles in Catherine's neck abruptly tensed as she cried out. "Joachim!"

Urgency – combined with the pain and fear in her voice made him draw away. His eyes became wide and glassy as he fought to acknowledge her plea, driving the demons haunting him back. "I was not going to bite you," he attempted to reassure, fearing the fact that the temptation was just as powerful to him as love. "You are safe. I want you to remain as you are…human."

To this, Catherine did not reply. He felt her suddenly pull away, the calmness upon her face masking the emotions churning within her. After regaining herself, her voice firmed. "You are far stronger than I, and it may be best to refrain from using your powers. For both of us…"

"I understand." Without the slightest objection, he lowered himself toward the floor, taking her with him. Catherine remained tense until her feet touched the floor. The moment he released her, she gazed at him in silence. Joachim held up a hand. His face gleamed like snow in the moonlight whilst he drifted back. "Do you think I am a demon like the rest of those worthless peasants?"

"Joachim-" Catherine attempted to speak but he shook his head, his eyes burning with a fire that not even she could extinguish. For a moment, she looked as if she would flinch when his hand grasped her around the wrist.

His hold was gentle, though tension ran through his fingers while he held onto her, refusing to let go. "Do you think I would hurt you?" He asked, feeling a sob break from his throat and tears fall down his face.

The salty liquid stained his cheeks in rivers as his chest wracked violently, as if at any moment his body would crumble into dust from the mere possibility. He pulled her toward him until their faces nearly touched. The woman's breath hitched in her chest.

"You are going to abandon me because you think I'm not the same! That isn't true! I may be dead, but I am still the same Joachim you knew!"

Catherine pulled against him, wrenching her wrist free from his grasp with a feral yank. Coils of ringlets splayed around her delicate face as she shook her head, her green eyes glinting dully from the sight of his enragement. Bitterness twisted the young man's face as if all the sadness in the world had poisoned his heart.

Despite her sympathetic expression, her voice shook on the edge of losing composure. "It is time for you to return to bed and rest. I will prepare more blood for you tomorrow night. Chicken's blood is not enough to sustain you. That was my fault, and it will not happen again."

Without waiting for him to follow, she turned and headed toward the back of the sanctuary.

It was difficult for him to sleep that night. A dull, throbbing pain filled him as he lay in bed, staring at Catherine's sleeping form. The woman slept in a chair at his bedside, with her face tilted toward him and her eyes lightly closed. Catherine insisted upon him sleeping in the bed since she would not rest for long. Dawn would break within a few hours. He tossed and turned upon the mattress, for it was still night, and sleep would not come easily. Thus, he contented himself with watching her, instead. Joachim observed the steady rise and fall of her chest, her beautiful, soft face and tenderly parted lips. A dull glint appeared within his eyes and flickered out. Relief filled him at the realization that she had not tried to leave him during the night. She remained there, sleeping soundly with her hands resting upon her lap, and the skirt of her amethyst dress flowing across the floor beneath the chair. Without blinking, a coy little grin spread across his lips. He stared at her endlessly as if she was a piece of art sculpted by the world's finest artisan. Her grace, beauty, and stillness made her seem almost doll-like.

From where he lay, he could hear her heart thumping slowly inside her chest. The dull, rhythmic pattern allured his senses, drawing him closer to her until, if he wished, he could have reached out and touched her. He contented himself with watching her, his wolf-like eyes surveying her delicate form while he licked his lips and bitterly cursed himself for frightening her. It was a mistake but victory had been his. He had not harmed her in the slightest. His grinning lips broadened. Catherine alone would salvage what remained of his soul and rescue him from the darkness. They had been together so long nothing would come between them this time…

---

After a restless sleep, he awoke in time to see Catherine enter the room carrying a small tray. Three wooden cups were set out on the tray, each containing a dark red liquid. She smiled faintly and set the tray down on the nightstand. Coils of her thick, ebony hair fell around her shoulders and back.

"Catherine." He sat up on the bed and glanced at the cups on the tray, his lower lip curling whilst he observed. "More chicken's blood? As if one cup wasn't enough…" A returned smile appeared across his lips the moment her jade eyes locked with his pale blue. "Only joking." He added upon noticing the scowl appearing upon her face.

The woman's fine lips curved downward until she picked up one of the cups and handed it to him, giving him an expectant look. "I brought you three different kinds," she began calmly. "The one I handed you is ox blood. You are going to have to get used to drinking from animals, Joachim. Did you…drink from humans often while you lived in Eternal Night?"

Joachim felt the corners of his lips lift into a grin alongside his reply. "I fed from Walter, mostly."

Catherine's face abruptly paled. With a shaking hand, she brushed her hair away from her face and looked away. The brightness in her eyes faded. "I suppose, he must have forced you to, didn't he?"

Laughter broke from his throat until he tossed his head back, downing the claret colored liquid in a single gulp. Ox blood did not taste much better than the blood of a chicken. The sourness of it, combined with the fact that he had not fed from the source directly, made it almost unsuitable to drink. Briefly, he remembered how free he felt when he hunted and killed by Walter's side. Walter did not care one way or another who died as long as his thirst was satiated. He slammed the empty glass on the tray and grabbed the full one next to it, twiddling the object in his hands.

With a dull chuckle, harshness filtered through his softened tone. "Forced me? It was quite the contrary. I had to survive, somehow. It was…convenient to drink from Walter, and I will never forget his taste." The youth's lips parted, revealing his fangs, until he noticed her flinch and closed his mouth.

As if she had seen a ghost, Catherine gasped, her sweet voice trembling when she dared questioning him again. He sensed when she spoke that she had been thinking of it often, for she cleared her throat and forced her head to lift so that their eyes met. The woman's face was so pale that its chalk-like whiteness startled him. Without thinking, Joachim reached out and covered her hand with his own. He could feel her trembling increase the moment he touched her.

"I heard stories…about two vampires who committed a terrible massacre upon Dalwood. Women and children were murdered. You were – are - gentle and kind, Joachim. Walter must have forced you to assist him! Perhaps, you didn't know what you were doing?"

Joachim shook his head and drank the contents in the glass – which he quickly discovered was sheep's blood. Like the previous sample, an unpleasant taste filled his mouth and he struggled to swallow it. A sneer appeared upon his face when he noticed her wide eyes glistened with tears.

"What?" He snarled and tossed the empty cup across the room.

The object hit the wall with such force that it splintered apart. Though sadness filled her gaze, the accusing look he returned it with escalated the rage pulsing inside his withered veins.

Catherine's hand flew away from his when he could restrain the emotion no longer, he hissed between gritted enamels. "You have no right to judge me! That very night, I spared the life of a little girl. I assure you, her blood would have tasted much better than a sheep's!"

"I'm sorry it isn't good enough for you." She broke their gaze and hurried toward the door, her feet flying across the floor so quickly that the skirt of her dress barely touched it. Disgust ripped across her face as she walked away, holding her head high and refusing to look upon him when he got up and floated behind her, his glowing form shadowing her like a phantom.

All at once, the youth's anger melted into regret. Joachim shook his head violently as he gazed at her backside. The woman's ringlets tossed around her shoulders as she went, ignoring his attempt to draw her back. "Catherine! Where are you going?"

"Away from you." Without looking at him, she continued onward.

Bitterness consumed him whilst he flew passed her and darted in front of the cathedral's massive wooden doors. Upon sighting him, Catherine tossed her head and stomped toward one of the doors, refusing to concede until his levitating form blocked her path. Like an enraged beast, a snarl vibrated within his throat as he pressed his back against the door, eyeing her intently. Amidst his whirling thoughts, his mind commanded the doors to seal themselves shut.

"You can't leave!" He cried out, his pale eyes glistening in the shadows enveloping the sanctuary. He pointed a claw-like fingernail at the woman's stunned expression. "You promised you would not abandon me!"

She hesitated, her lips parting a moment until she forced herself to speak. Catherine's voice fell quiet as her wide, emerald eyes gazed upon him with the purest form of dread. "I want to go for a walk, Joachim. Finish the blood I set out for you. I will return in a little while."

"Lies!" He hissed. A bright red glow overtook his once pale blue eyes. With the ferocity of a demon, he pinned himself against the door until the metal lining his armored chest dug into the grain of the wood. "You will remain here with me!"

After hesitating, she walked toward the doors, challenging him to do his worst and – perhaps – half expecting that he would. "Please, step aside and let me pass!"

After a long silence, his head lowered and his slender form drifted slowly away from the doors. In his anger, he could not bear to face himself or her sorrow-ridden face. Yet, to his surprise, she approached and comforted him with her warm embrace. Catherine's lips covered his in a gentle kiss, attempting to calm him with her love. The tension in his body eased when she held him against her chest and stroked his hair. Her glittering green eyes blinked at him in the dark.

"I will return," she whispered under her breath. "Do not worry. Rest while I am gone…for you are still excitable and…delirious…"

"I-I apologize," He whispered back, his eyes never leaving her for a moment when she pulled away and turned to leave. Despite distancing herself from him, he saw her glance over her shoulder. The youth's face seemed to pale until it rivaled the color of snow. As if lost in a dark vortex, he shook his head, his voice barely audible when he struggled to translate his regret into words.

"Forgive me, Catherine. I should have finished the blood you gave me. I was selfish and I didn't think-"

"Joachim…you must rest. In time, you will regain yourself."

He wrung his hands and turned away, refusing to speak or look at her again until he heard her open the door and close it behind her. Silence followed but he could not find peace in it. Rather, the stillness of his surroundings – the vaulted ceiling, stained glass windows, and empty pews – made him feel exposed and wonder if God was scorning him for being what he was. In an effort to hide from the unseen entity, he returned to the windowless room and downed the last cup of blood. The red liquid spattered across the floor like tiny, red droplets of rain as he heaved it out of his mouth, gasping and shuddering from the horrible taste. He threw the cup against the wall and watched it splinter apart and join the last. I don't want to be this way…I can't…let her see my weakness. It occurred to him that every time he drank blood something inside him eroded away. A shadow appeared across his face whilst he pondered his fate. The necessity of drinking blood made it impossible for him to resist it. Yet, whenever he gave in and drank it, darkness shrouded his mind and heart. What would happen if he continued to drink blood? The youth shuddered at the thought of becoming less and less familiar to himself.

Joachim flew from the room and re-entered the deserted sanctuary. Even in the presence of holiness, God would not listen to his prayers. Almost frantically, he drifted up and down the aisle between the pews and clasped his hands together. She has been gone too long…where is she? I should never have let her leave! Fear etched across his face whilst he paced like an animal confined within a cage. Holy relics from long ago tormented him when they should have brought him comfort. Everything about the cathedral reminded him that he did not belong. He was inhuman, and no longer bound by the morals and laws of society. Even if he relinquished human blood people would hate him. Nothing he did made any difference. If he wished, he could become a saint, and still humanity would despise him. I will prove myself worthy of her. I am human…and always will be. My love for her is enough. It will be enough…

In an effort to rid himself of his torment, he left the cathedral and descended into the darkness of the night. The sky was veiled by clouds and the air was crisp with frost. Snow drifted in flecks from the black clouds above, gathering around his feet and swirling across the road in an almost playful manner. Heaps of snow accumulated around the remnants of houses, now reduced to shambles of charred ash and stone. The youth drifted through the empty, snow-covered streets, listening to the wind's howling lament. Memories of the dead, burnt to bone and cinder, were mourned and buried by the snow. He watched his silvery breath vanish like a puff of smoke into the night sky. Tiny white flakes drifted onto his shoulders and hair whilst he silently looked on. His icy, dead eyes stared into the night and searched for a flash of amethyst to contrast against the whiteness surrounding him. He despised the harshness that characterized winter. The cold made him faint and anxious. Like the ruins of an ancient capital, Creightel belonged to the memoirs of history and time. A frown creased the corners of his wan lips as he struggled against the frigid wind. His body began to tremble – warning him to return to the shelter of the cathedral before Catherine noticed his absence. With a resigned sigh, he licked his lips when a searing pain ripped through his mouth. Curtains of lush, ivory hair cascaded against his cheeks, veiling the pain professed in his eyes behind their glossy strands.

A loud noise shattered the silent night. His eyes darted across the road, sighting a black shape contrasting against the whiteness. The creature's shining, tiny black eyes blinked at him whilst it hopped gingerly across the snow. The youth watched it, feeling his breath become trapped inside his chest. As if a great hand drew his lids back, his eyes widened like saucers as he watched the accursed, black thing beat its wings and settle upon a snow-covered mound. At first, he could not detect what had drawn its attention. The feathery brute fluttered on top of the strange object and released another loud, loathsome cry, though no others of its kind joined its company. He drew back, his eyes wildly fixated upon the creature, torn between horror and grim acknowledgement. He watched the scoundrel's sharp black beak lower and pick at the object hidden beneath the snow. The powerful talons on its feet dragged across it, causing some snow to fall down like sheets of silk, and unveiling a pair of unblinking, frozen eyes accompanying a rotting human face. In that precise moment, he whirled and hurried away, his robes gliding with him as he sought to escape the ghastly bird's hungry gaze.

Footsteps echoed through the darkness. The creature whirled and searched for the source of the sound. The steps were light and quick and alerted him immediately to whom they belonged. He winced upon feeling the pain in his mouth rise. Desperate, he darted toward the cathedral steps. However, he turned upon hearing an unfamiliar voice shout through the darkness. It belonged to a man pursuing her, his eyes alight as he raised the sword in his hand and shouted after her, his rage threatening to render his threats incoherent.

"Get back here, filthy gypsy witch! I saw you stealing blood from my cattle tonight; return it to me this instant!"

Catherine continued onward, her steps quickening when she looked over her shoulder at her pursuer. The woman's vivid green eyes widened and she clutched the flask in her hand close to chest. The woman's long, amethyst dress swept with her steps, hiding her feet and giving the strange impression that she was floating. Her steps were so light that she barely left the trace of a footprint behind her. The man doggedly followed, unwilling to relent despite the flicker of annoyance appearing upon her gentle face. Flecks of snow speckled the locks of her raven hair. In her effort to avoid the man, she did not notice the vampire watching her.

"What would you do with it if I did?" She breathed. Her soft voice was faint and trembled from the cold. "Your cattle are dying from their burns and I meant no harm. I took only a small amount from each, for I am starving, and food is scarce-"

The man's guff voice shattered her words like a rock through a glass windowpane. Joachim watched him pause in the middle of the road, clutching the sword in his hand whilst he stomped the ground with his worn leather boot. Undoubtedly, the man was one of the few who survived the attack, most likely due to living on rented land nearby. The youth guessed that he was a peasant from his plain and ragged attire. The pale creature eyed her pursuer with his dagger-like eyes, his stance stiffening the moment Catherine slid on a snow drift and fell on her side. The flask shattered against the cold earth, spilling its contents all over her chest and staining it red. As soon as she fell, she scooped the remnants of the blood back into the broken flask amidst her chaser's heated shouts.

"I know you're helping that monster, for why else would you steal blood from my livestock? You must be using it in witchcraft - helping that pale devil slaughter us all!"

"He is not a devil!" Fire appeared in her eyes when she staggered to her feet. Catherine's dress was stained with blood. With a valiant cry, she shook her head. "I am trying to protect the survivors! As long as he feeds from animals, harm will not come to you. Let me go to him!"

"How do you know that?" The man retorted, brandishing the sword in front of him. His blade's metallic edge reflected against the white snow. He approached the young woman, his eyes narrowing upon her in blind fury. "That devil butchered nearly everyone and you dare try to help it! Where are you hiding it, gypsy witch? I have witnessed you wander to and from the church. Perhaps, I will cut you down and lure the monster out with your bloody corpse!"

The man drew his arm back, readying it to strike, when a pale hand suddenly grasped him by the throat.

Joachim lifted the man up with one arm until his boots dangled over the ground. Neither his captive nor Catherine had seen him approach. His superior speed and strength made it almost effortless for him to overpower the would-be assassin.

"Luring me out isn't necessary!" The youth snarled and bared his fangs. The two prominent incisors flashed like knives as he surveyed the man's astonished expression. The man gasped for air though the increased force of the creature's talon-like grip denied it. "I will gladly add you to the pile of corpses I've collected! Considering how many I had to exterminate, I was bound to miss a few!"

"Joachim!" With lightning speed, Catherine grasped him around the wrist and attempted to pry his fingers away from the man's neck.

Like a dog with a pheasant in its mouth, his grip tightened and the sounds of her screams were deaf to him. Laughter broke through his throat as he continued to squeeze, relishing the sight of the man's face reddening as he strangled the air from his lungs.

"Joachim, stop!" Catherine's fists pounded desperately against his arm but he refused to release his prey.

The main flailed and kicked but the pitiful efforts merely increased the creature's delight. He continued to squeeze until his fingernails ripped through the flesh. A flood of red slowly slid down the man's throat and across Joachim's hand and wrist. The youth drew back his lips, exposing his incisors as his nails cut through the man's throat with brutal precision. A popping noise filled his ears alongside a dull snap. As if he broke a twig, the bones in the man's neck shattered in his hand. Low, gurgling gasps fled the human's gasping mouth.

With the speed of a viper, the pale creature's nails severed completely through the flesh. The human's head lolled back as the blood flowed down the corpse and stained the snow beneath it red. Had the bones and tendons of the neck not remained attached, he would have succeeded in severing the man's head single-handedly. Pieces of torn flesh slipped between his fingers, mingling with the blood covering his hand, arm, face, and chest. He had succeeded in mutilating the man's neck almost effortlessly. The realization of how truly easy it was to kill raged through his mind whilst he continued laughing, his eyes glazing with delight from what he had done, like an artist attempting to recreate death before an audience. However, Catherine released her grip upon him and darted back, her face a mask of horror and fear. It was then, amidst the hazy scent of blood that his pale eyes flitted to her. Her chest and face was covered with the man's blood. The very scent of the red nectar filled his nostrils and tantalized him. He dropped the nearly headless corpse on the ground with a resounding thud. Catherine closed her eyes.

She fought back a sob when his voice, once soft, rasped heatedly. "Don't be afraid! I killed him for you! He would have hurt you, and I could not allow it. I was too weak to protect you and our unborn child that night, Catherine, but I can protect you now. I apologize for staining your pretty dress!"

"Joachim!" Catherine screamed and turned away, the skirt of her dress flagging behind her when she ran. Her voice, carried by the night wind, filled his ears when she took flight. "I can't look at you!"

"Where do you think you're going?" He shouted back, gnashing his teeth. "Surely, you are not running away from me?"

But she would not listen to him. He watched her ascend the steps of the cathedral and dash inside with the swiftness of a rabbit. Nearly blind with rage, he tore after her, his robes sweeping with him as he flew across the blood-covered snow, leaving the bloody remains strewn over the road in his wake. Without caring if she heard him or not, he continued to shout after her. His voice resounded through the darkness like a demon's roar.

"Catherine! Please understand that I was only trying to protect you!"

He flew up the steps and followed her inside, his pale eyes glinting savagely when they locked upon her. The woman stood at the altar beneath the gilded cross, her back pressed against the wall whilst she stared at him. There was nowhere for her to run. It surprised him that she cornered herself like a mouse trapped in a wooden box.

The woman's stance stiffened as silence passed between them. The levitating creature paced near the base of the altar steps, glaring at her with unblinking scarlet eyes. The vastness of the sanctuary swirled around him like a hurricane. He gazed at the red color staining the amethyst front of her dress, catching the delectable scent as though it were perfume. The fluid trickled down her chest, turning her bare, warm skin brilliant red. He longed to touch her with his cold, sallow hands, and feel the warmth of her blood covered flesh. The creature grinned and licked his lips, feeling the searing, ravenous pain in his mouth drive him to the brink. With an emotionless chuckle, he extended a clawed hand and beckoned her toward him, his hollow voice straining.

"Tis' all right, Catherine. Let me comfort you as you have comforted me. Let me clean the blood off your skin…"

If he wanted to, he could have dragged her forward with his powers. Yet, he refrained from doing so for fear that her rejection of him would intensify. Nevertheless, like a predator, his deathly white form slowly drifted up the altar steps. Joachim eyed her intensely when she attempted to move away, her dainty lips parting in horror whilst he added in a low, throaty voice that stunned her with its unfamiliarity.

"Come here."

He watched the fluid slowly trickle down her corset between the soft, fleshy contours of her breasts. Yearning filled him the longer he looked at her, his radiant spheres transfixed by her grace and fear. The creature's sensitive ears detected the sound of her heart pounding wildly against her ribcage as if, at any moment, it would burst.

"Surely, you can find it within your heart to forgive my little transgression! What does one dead human mean, anyway? You are still alive…and I have not hurt you..."

"Joachim!" Catherine pleaded, forcing herself away from the wall toward the altar table. He saw her eyes glance at the contents left upon it before returning quickly to him. "Please, stop! Don't give in to the curse! Do you not care that I still fear for you? The Joachim I knew would never harm anyone!"

"Are you saying I am no longer the same?" Rage seeped into every fiber of his being like wildfire whilst his hands slashed frantically at the air in front of him. Nearly foaming at the mouth, he hissed furiously. "Do you know what it feels like to crave human blood? My love for you is unchanged-"

"This has nothing to do with love! You are losing yourself!"

"This has everything to do with love!" He snarled, his eyes stabbing into her when she shook her head.

The woman's face was so pale it rivaled his. He floated closer to her until he came within a few feet of her. Refusing to consent to his attempt at intimidating her, she stood her ground, her emerald eyes staring at him when he added, allowing a malicious smile to appear upon his fine lips.

"Don't be ridiculous," he began. "You are the only one who matters to me. Why can't we return to the way we were before? My heart – and body – need you, Catherine. I am human! If you do not believe me I can…and will…prove myself."

"No, you are not." Catherine replied. Her breath hitching in her chest for a moment until she forced herself to continue. "I know you are struggling against the darkness. Please…don't hurt me, Joachim. I will save you but you must calm down!"

"I am calm!" His voice fell to a whisper as his eyes glinted at her eerily. "I have no intention of harming you. Soon, you will understand, and everything will be as it was. Even if I have to make you, you will accept me."

The yearning grew in his eyes. In a manner not unlike that of a wolf, he licked his lips and absorbed her scent. He wanted to touch her, to stroke her lovely black hair, and feel her warmth against him as he had before. With a smile, he advanced toward her, his slender form appearing as white as death when he emerged from the shadows. He heard her scream and watched her back up into the altar table, her eyes wide and unblinking. Deep within his blackened soul, he despised the fear reflected in their bright green pools. How he wished she would not fear him! Nothing he did was good enough for her. How could he explain what it was like to be dead to someone who was still alive? He glared at her whilst the thoughts raging through his twisted mind focused upon her. Something inside him broke so quickly that he barely realized it until he lunged upon her, grasping her by the front of her dress while pinning her down on top of the altar table. He snarled at her vengefully, despising her even more when she struggled against him and cried out the sound of his name. Catherine's soft voice became overwhelmed by pain and sorrow. With a kind of fiendish pleasure, he pinned her down beneath him. Her arms thrashed against his backside whilst he lowered his face over her chest, relishing the scent of the blood. His right hand grasped the top of her bloodstained corset and pulled until the fabric gave way and tore down the center, exposing her bare, smooth flesh and the blood that had trickled beneath her clothing.

A strange cloud surrounded his thoughts as he pressed his lips upon her collarbone. He breathed hard against the warm flesh, his body heavy with want and hunger. He heard her scream but ignored it, for somehow, he felt like he was not in his own body. It was as if he was standing outside himself watching the gruesome scene unfold. Nothing made sense except the searing pain inside his mouth. The creature's eyes feasted themselves upon her slick, blood-soaked chest. With a guttural groan, his tongue voraciously lapped up the thick, sweet blood covering it. He felt her hands push against his chest when his wandering tongue sought her breast. He gazed at the red trickling across the smooth, fleshy contours before cleaning it away with his tongue. The blood of man and beast converged into one. An intermingling of sensations, both grotesque and delightful, filled his mouth and slid down his throat. The creature's pale eyes widened whilst he pressed his hips against hers, feeling himself harden from the euphoria. She could not escape him, now.

He felt her shudder and try to fight free, her struggles increasing in desperation when his lips wound around the blood-covered teat, suckling upon it until the tips of his fangs threatened to puncture through the tender skin. His eyes gleamed like fiery chasms in the darkness – devoid of recognition and compassion. Death was not compassionate. Even love, which seemed virtuous, was the contrary. He longed to show her that he was human. She let him have her once when he was turned. He remembered her body moving on top him, the warmth of her insides, and the heat of her breath against his face. Amidst his rage, his thoughts fleetingly remembered the joy and pleasure he experienced that night. Such a time would never come again. The aching hardness demanded not love but earthly gratification that equaled –and even surpassed – his hunger for blood.

A brutal laugh escaped his throat but it was short-lived. Spots of pain blinded his vision when one of Catherine's flailing hands grasped the basin on the table and flung it directly into his face. His skin seared as he staggered back, roaring in rage, and feeling a foul liquid slide down his cheeks and drip off his chin. He covered his face with his hands when a burning sensation ripped through him like fire.

Within the agony encompassing his mind, his ears caught the sound of Catherine's voice cry out. "You are no longer yourself, Joachim! Please stop! Think about what you are doing before it is too late for both of us!"

"You…!" Rage bubbled inside him like a volcano but he could not move, for the fiery pain blinded his vision in darkness.

A stream of blood trickled down the side of his head where the basin had hit him. The pain of the blow was nothing compared to its contents. When Father Genesio had tried to subdue him, it was merely a few sprinkles against his skin. Seething, his nails dug into his cheeks and his throat released an agonized scream. Blinded by the pain, he drifted back until he lost his balance in the air and fell down the altar steps. Blood spurted from the wound and pooled around him on the floor as he lay upon his side, his face a mask of rage and agony. He gazed up at Catherine, who stood looking at him, her eyes brimming with tears while he gasped.

"No….no…no…I…failed you...Catherine…"

Broken, he lay there, whilst his own blood drained from his skull. Catherine gazed down at him wordlessly. What sort of response could she give after what she endured? Shame overwhelmed him - terrible, heart-wrenching shame that he would carry with him forever afterward.

The pale creature fought against the agony, his breathless plea leaving his bloodstained lips. "This…can't be! I am…a man…not a monster…"

"I know, Joachim." Catherine's voice was faint. He saw her take a hesitant step toward him and pick up the empty basin off the floor. She grasped the object in her hands, running her fingers along the edge as her head lowered, veiling her soft, gentle face behind coils of her thick, raven hair. The woman's brilliant green eyes looked at him sadly when an uneasy silence overcame them both.

Then, after drawing a haggard breath, he lifted his head and reached out, his blood-covered hand trembling wildly. His blue eyes locked against hers when he rasped, desperation seeping into their pale spheres.

"…Help me…please…"

Tears freely fell from his eyes and slid down his cheeks. A shuddering gasp fled his lips and his eyes flashed a shade of scarlet, their glowing forms immobilizing the woman standing over him in fear. Yet, somehow, she recovered long enough to approach. Catherine lifted back the sleeve of her dress and unveiled her wrist, her sorrowful eyes gazing at the smooth flesh in a restrained silence. He watched her approach him, her steps tentative and slow, as though in the presence of a wild beast. Yet, when he remained still, she swallowed what was left of her nerve and kneeled beside him. He felt her soft, delicate hands brush back the tails of his robes, revealing the dagger secured in the leather hilt attached to his waist. It surprised him that she remembered the weapon he concealed, though he wanted to smile, for she knew his habits almost better than he did.

Catherine withdrew the weapon and held the sharp, glinting blade against her wrist. He gazed at the dagger almost lovingly, relishing the thought of her plunging it into his chest and through his blackened heart. A part of him expected her to do the terrible but necessary deed. The creature's dull, blue eyes flickered a shade of red when the thought of stopping her suddenly conflicted with his will to die. He could see the smooth, supple curves of her neck and chest, her vulnerability and nakedness filling him with a desire to have everything she was completely. He snapped at her with brutish indignation, his incisors gnashing violently at her throat with a will to rip it out.

Had she not darted back at the last second, his fangs would have pierced her jugular with terrifying ease. Yet, her soft words managed to break through his haze, comforting him despite his passionate rage.

"None of this is your doing," she whispered. "The world condemns you but I will not. The Joachim I loved is still there, somewhere, hidden beneath the emptiness and pain. Animal blood is not enough. Perhaps…my own will be…"

Sadness seeped through her eyes, though the profoundness of it veiled a fragile hope. She pressed the edge of the dagger against her skin and cut into her wrist. A thin, red line appeared upon the once untouched skin. Blood flowed from the wound. She held it above the empty basin and let it fall until a small red pool gathered inside the base. Once she had given all that she was able, she tore the sleeve of her dress away and hurriedly wrapped the fabric around her injured wrist.

"Drink, it is still warm." Her emerald eyes never left him for a moment. "If drinking from me means you will not harm others – or yourself – so be it. Let God judge whether this is right or wrong."

"No…Catherine…I cannot." Dark red fluid seeped through the fabric covering her wounded wrist and trickled down her arm. Yet, he could not turn away from the blood entirely. The dark yearning inside him returned when he caught its heavy, sweet scent. His eyes traced the red contents in the basin, loathingly staring at the warm substance that would damn him and save him simultaneously. Within his heart, he longed for another way to quell the storm of agony ripping through his mouth.

However, when he did not move to drink it, she pressed the rim of the basin insistently against his lips. "You must!" She urged. Her voice began to quaver. "There is no other way, Joachim."

"I will not drink from you!" He tried to push the object away with his hand. However, as his strength began to leave him, the pain grew stronger. "I should leave you…and not return-"

"And what would you do, then?" She asked, her eyes brimming with tears. "Would you harm more people and hunt them in the dark? I do not wish to think what would become of you if you did. I am giving you my blood freely and without regret. At least this way, you will not suffer, and no harm will come to others."

"And what of you?"

"I wounded myself with this dagger - you had no part in it and did not bite me. Even now, if you wished it, you could…"

Silence passed between them once again. As always, she spoke the truth, even though it was painful for him to hear it. If he refused, there was no telling what he would do – whether by his will or not. The searing, aching, relentless desire to taste the blood filtered through his whirling thoughts. In barely a whisper, he looked at her beautiful face and, at last, consented to drink the foul liquid.

"I am a slave to blood…"

Though he had discovered it long ago, the painful reality of his existence gripped his tender heart like a vice. And Walter. He knew better than to speak aloud the final sentiment. Walter had sought to own him and everything he was. Blood was merely an exchange for snatching away his pride and freedom. Like a bird in a gilded cage, there was no escaping his master's lust. He had paid a terrible price for eternal life. Something inside him was slowly eroding away. The longer he tried to resist giving in, the harder it was to distinguish himself as a human being.

Catherine's love prevented the degradation of his conscience. She had bled for him once and he had not forgotten the cost. Vaguely, he thought of the tiny, innocent little face he held in his arms and the chilling grief that had filled his heart. Now, his beloved was prepared to bleed for him a second time – perhaps countless times, in order to rescue him from terrible, unstoppable hunger. Joachim's eyes became glassy and wide with fear. In a matter of moments, the claret colored substance lapped against his lips and slinked down his throat. The thick, warm sweetness filled his mouth and spilled chaotically over his chin and neck. A dull moan vibrated within his throat while he devoured her blood –the symbol of her innocence, sacrifice, and love. He gazed at Catherine's face and noticed her wince. However, whilst he drank, the only thing that mattered was the taste of her blood. The only taste that rivaled her blood was that of Walter. A grin appeared upon his face before he suddenly sat up and pulled her toward him, covering her lips with his own in a grateful kiss.

As soon as he kissed her, she pulled away and scrambled to her feet, her lips curling into a scowl so severe that his breath hitched in his chest. The woman covered her bare front with her arms and huddled against the wall beneath the altar's gilded cross. With a trembling sigh, she wiped the blood away from her lips, her voice strengthened by the injury he inflicted upon her.

"I have given you all I can offer. Please leave me alone for a little while, Joachim…"

Joachim cast her a scornful glare and floated upright. Then, without a backward glance, his pale form drifted out of sight.

---

The harsh winter storm forced Catherine to remain in the cathedral. Perhaps, it was far longer than she wished, though it mattered little to him as long as he could feed. He remembered the cold, dark nights spent in the little chamber behind the sanctuary. Catherine's smooth arms were slowly marred with numerous swollen cuts. During the daytime, when she thought he was asleep, he remained awake and restless. For her sake, he did not leave the confines of the cathedral. One day, he sensed it was daytime, and found himself drifting through the doorway and down the corridor leading to the massive sanctuary. For the first time since his turning, his eyes fell upon the blinding, golden rays of the sun flooding through the stained-glass windows. The beauty of the light – of daytime, normalcy, and life. His aching heart longed to experience life as a human for just one single day. One day was all he asked for and yet, God and Walter denied him of it! He was forced to remain in the shadows – where he now belonged.

The cruelty of the dark tormented him. The youth was shackled to the night and bound to it. Daytime became his paramour, his escape from the pale, empty glow of moonlight that promised him serenity but granted none. Yet, as if trapped in an invisible cage, he could not walk in the sunlight as Catherine did. He would have to content himself with admiring the golden rays within the safety of the cathedral's windowless corridor. Nearly every day he wandered to the doorway leading into the sun-drenched sanctuary. Catherine was often unaware of his presence, for she spent her afternoons absorbed in books and prayers. Joachim's eyes narrowed whenever he saw her kneeling on the altar steps, her head lowered with her hands clasped in front of her, praying to a God who had cursed him, forgotten him, and damned him to hell. Rage seeped into his steely gaze whilst he heard her recite the Lord's Prayer in her gypsy tongue:

Miro gulo Devel, savo hal oté ando Cheros,
te avel swuntunos tiro nav;
te avel catari tiro tem;
te keren saro so cames oppo puv,
sar ando Cheros.
Dé man sekhonus miro diveskoe manro,
ta ierta mangue saro so na he plaskerava tuke,
sar me ierstavava wafo manuschengue saro so na plaskerelen mangue.
Ma muk te petrow ando chungalo camoben;
tama lel man abri saro doschdar.
Weika tiro sin o tem,
tiri yi potea,
tiri yi proslava akana ta sekovar

He wondered if God was listening to her. He thought of how accursed he was in her eyes. Whenever she looked at him, the sadness in her eyes seemed to grow. She rarely smiled, except when he asked her to read to him. However, the only books they could find were Biblical scriptures copied by the cathedral's former priests. Catherine's voice, once calming to him, filled him with loathing when she read the gospels to him by candlelight.

One such evening, when they sat together upon the bed reading, he ripped the book from her hands and flung it with the violence of a devil into the blazing hearth. His eyes became a lit with a fire so bright that when he whirled round to face her, his pallid face resembled the cold image of death itself.

"I am tired of reading this nonsense!" He fumed, not caring if his words startled her or not. One of his claw-like hands balled into a fist as the hellish flames blazed behind him. He lowered his head, curtaining his face behind his silky white hair, his lips unveiling his fangs. "You have such a devout faith in God, Catherine. I would admire it, were you not so misguided."

"What do you mean?" She asked and darted to her feet, her eyes narrowing upon him as her amethyst dress swept around her delicate figure. "You hurt me with your disrespect, Joachim!"

"Disrespect?" He breathed, forcing a tiny, malicious smile to crease the corners of his lips. "I was unaware that truth is considered disrespect. What are you praying for? You will have to pray louder than in a whisper, for God seems to have difficulty hearing!"

"I was praying for you!" Rage seeped through her emerald eyes like wildfire.

"You best give up," He sneered. A sudden fire raged through his steely gaze. He tossed his head, causing strands of his glossy white hair to tumble against his face and shoulder blades. "God certainly has by now. Do you know what could happen if my master found me here with you? Oh, he would not be pleased! Not at all! He loves me, you know. I doubt he plans to release me any time soon."

"Master?" Her eyes widened while her face took on the stark whiteness of porcelain. Her hands fled to her lips upon hearing a low, emotionless chuckle escape his throat. All at once, her anger faded into horror and bewilderment. "Walter is responsible for what happened. If he comes here, he will not have you! I will not let him!"

Without warning, he burst into a fit of loud, cold laughter. The idea of her protecting him against the red-haired demon was ridiculous. He shuddered at the thought of seeing Walter's beautiful, accursed face once again. More than he realized, he never wanted to look at the master of Eternal Night – and master of his heart – ever again. The only thing that comforted him was the fact that he was with Catherine. However, such a great virtue was becoming tedious, for she did not know him or his lord.

The firelight danced across his wan visage, emphasizing the mirror-like deadness in his eyes when he replied bitterly. "He already has…"

To this, she said nothing. The pain of looking at her sorrow-ridden expression drove a wedge through his heart. He hurt her more than himself. Nothing mattered, anymore. Mattering did not coincide with his ilk, for humans already carried that burden instead. Nevertheless, the harshness in his face softened slightly when she broke into tears. He had cast the final stone against her heart and shattered it like glass. However, his conscience still tugged at him with the persistence of a lost child. Lightheadedness overcame him and he fell against the wall, narrowly missing the hearth behind him.

"Forgive me." he whispered, uncertain if the sentiment was meant for her or himself. "I am growing weak again, and I need you. I cannot blame what I did on the curse, for I was willing and aware-"

"Enough!" Catherine held up her hand, commanding him into an abrupt silence.

Between sobs, she approached him with slow, heavy steps. The woman's thick, raven hair cascaded around her soft, face and shoulder blades. The gravity of what he had done injured her more deeply than the cuts on her arms and wrists.

She stood over him for a time, and her voice was so faint it was barely audible. "You are with me now, Joachim-"

"Am I?" He asked. His eyes flitted from her to the fire. "I do not think so. I am with him. What's done cannot be undone. Though, admittedly, I rather enjoyed it. Perhaps it was worth it, after all-"

Before he could continue further, her hand struck him across the face so hard that he reeled back against the wall. It surprised him that, despite Catherine's petite figure, she had managed to deal a harsh blow against his nose. Warm, tangy blood slid down his lips in a thin stream.

"Joachim!" Catherine sobbed and flung her arms around him, her face a mask of regret as she attempted to comfort him. But he did not want her comfort and promptly wrenched himself free. "I am sorry!" She cried out. Her voice became lost in the snarls of rage that filled his throat as he stabbed her with a dagger-like glare. "I didn't want to hurt you but you are frightening me!"

"Frightening you?" His tongue raked the word as he floated upright, his eyes blazing with a fury not even hell's demons could parallel. "You did not mean to hurt me? Why should I believe you, when you do not believe me? I never wanted to hurt you…until now."

A low, guttural growl vibrated within his throat and he floated to his feet, resting his hand against the wall for support. Blood continued to stream from his nose before he wiped it away with his hand, and flung the remnants across the floor. Rage filled him faster than wildfire while he stared at her, incinerating her apologetic look with his hatred. The woman's bright green eyes stared back in disbelief. Her lips parted in an attempt to speak but only a chilling silence drifted through the air. The longer he looked at her, the louder the rage building inside him screamed to be unleashed. Everything about her represented what he was not – human. Rather than comforting him as he expected, her beauty, grace, and compassion stung him like poison. In that moment, soul downed inside the hatred consuming his heart.

Everything seemed to blur around him and become indistinguishable. Everything except the young woman standing before him. Her green eyes widened and her skin seemed to lose all the color it possessed. When she began to back away – searching in vain for an escape – he advanced toward her. His superior speed enabled him to grasp her by the wrist and drag her forward, seizing her like an eagle catching its prey, and unwilling to release her from his grasp. As if from far away, he heard her scream his name as he pushed her down onto the floor and drove his fangs into her wrist.

Like a wild beast, he pinned her beneath him whilst he drained the blood from the open vein and swallowed the heavy red substance with abandon. The harder she struggled, the faster her blood flowed down his throat. He heard her heart pounding against her chest as she shuddered beneath him, her cries silenced by the pain he inflicted upon her with malicious enthusiasm.

As he drank, he saw her other hand grasp the bloodstained dagger hidden beneath the folds of her dress. With an agonized scream, she slashed at his face. The woman's accuracy, in spite of her terror and pain, took the snarling youth by complete surprise. Catherine brought the steel edge of the weapon up the side of his face, spilling his blood across the floor as she struggled against his relenting grasp.

The youth roared, released his fangs, and brought his hands to his face. Blood squished between his fingers and spilled down his throat. It occurred to him, despite his suffering, that she could have stabbed him through the heart instead. However, after he uncovered his face, he noticed the tears brimming in her eyes. Blood gushed from her injured wrist and dripped onto the floor around her feet. He watched her stagger back toward the door as the tears building in her eyes cascaded down her pallid cheeks. Haggard breaths escaped her lungs and she struggled to remain standing, and nearly tripped over the skirt of her dress.

For a moment, he did not approach. He merely levitated in place, staring at her with his unblinking pale eyes, which professed the emptiness devouring him whole. The creature's penetrating stare seemed to see through her as if her delicate skin was transparent. In his mind's eye, he saw the fragile, intricate network of veins running beneath her sloping neck. A strange, distorted haze enclosed around him while he gazed through her skin, and listened to her rapid heartbeat. The scent of her blood and fear was beautiful to him. Had he not taken his time admiring her, he would have been upon her instantly. However, his twisted appreciation of the woman's beautiful countenance convinced him to take his time. There was no need to rush, for she was his. Like a cat with a mouse, he would toy with her for a while, for the chase would be almost as enjoyable as the catch. Almost.

Catherine cried out but he could not understand the meaning of her words. Joachim! The sound of her voice was strange to him, even though it was familiar. He wanted to remember what it was supposed to mean but his thoughts drew nothing, like a well without water. Nothing meant something. Something meant nothing. The world was a puzzling complex of sounds and meanings. The harder he tried to decipher her words, the less coherent they became. Only the sound of her voice made him hesitate. She tried to draw him back but he no longer knew himself. The only thing he knew was the sound of her heartbeat and the blood rushing through her veins. Terrible, ravenous hunger filled him when she at last turned and fled, her amethyst dress floating behind her as her feet pounded against the floor. The youth eagerly gave chase, his pale figure flying through the dark cathedral with god-like agility.

When he entered the sanctuary, his vigilant eyes caught sight of her running toward the doors. Even in her desperation, she posed no match to the creature pursuing her. He glided down the aisle with the ease of a prince, ignoring the painful throbbing from the cut in his face. With a cruel grin, he revealed the needle-like fangs. If he wanted to, he could have summoned his swords. However, the hunt would have been much less enjoyable and the end far too swift for his liking. In the haze of his lust, blood began to appear over the floor like shimmering red pools. It was everywhere. The statues, once cold and lifeless, began to cry crimson tears. He saw it stream down their perfectly sculpted cheeks.

In a matter of seconds, he snatched her by the throat and dragged her flailing form behind him like a rag doll.

With the violence of a devil, he flung her against the altar steps to converge upon her, his eyes scanning her delicate milky throat. While he began to tear at her dress, her hand cupped his face as her voice, once soft, cried out a final plea against his ruthless heart.

"Joachim, have you forgotten me, at last? Please tell me it isn't true!"

After a moment, he paused to look at her face. Indeed, she was a lovely creature, and perfect for him in every way. Something inside him struggled against the urge, though he knew not why.

He drew a sharp breath, and his voice filtered through the darkness, the passion of his desire conflicting with his remorseful lament. "I remember…not remembering you…"

"Are you certain?" She pleaded and struggled against his iron-like grip. "You can't be lost to me, Joachim!"

"Lost to you?" He choked whilst the frustration inside him began to mount. "You are nothing but a lowly human-"

"You know me!" She insisted, and for a second, her anger stunned him so much that he was unable to speak.

A fiery glint appeared within her brilliant green eyes, whilst she covered his lips in a heavy kiss. Like a flickering candle in the dark, her kiss reminded him of someone he knew long ago. Of himself. Joachim Armster still fought back the shadows encompassing his mind. Relief overcame him even though he was uncertain of it.

With the determination of a saint, she returned his cruelty with love. "Please, Joachim…know me again…the way you once did. You loved me and still do."

A smile appeared across his lips and the hands that once struck her, soon enveloped her in a gentle embrace. "Catherine?" As if speaking her name for the first time, memories invaded his raging thoughts. "I…know your taste…"

"You are still Joachim, for you know me as I know you! We have been together nearly our entire lives. Please, stop…for the man I love…"

He buried his face in the thick, ebony locks of her hair, feeling her warmth attempt to comfort the coldness inside his heart. It pained him to realize what he had become, even though a profound aspect of him still denied it. She would never believe he was inhuman. Catherine's unyielding faith brought him little comfort, however, and cursed him instead.

"You still love me, Catherine?" He lowered his face and smothered her lips in a tender, long kiss. He felt her breaths grow heavy whilst his lips combed her smooth cheeks. One of his hands intertwined with hers; cherishing her and everything, she was, while his lips caressed her neck…

"Love lasts forever." Catherine whispered gently as she allowed her bright, green eyes to flutter closed.

His eyes silently traced the graceful, smooth flesh of her vulnerable neck. He drew her closer, his dead, pale blue spheres welling with suppressed tears as he parted his lips…

"Indeed, it does…Catherine…"

---

The sanctuary whirled when he awoke. Explosions racked through his head when he slowly sat up and was greeted by the night. Moonlight shrouded his pale, naked figure in calming light. A low groan fled his lips and he ran a hand through his ivory hair. As if lost in a dream, his broken thoughts made him uncertain of where he was until he saw the painted angels gazing down at him from the sanctuary's vaulted ceiling. Without thinking, he floated upright and shivered in the eerie, specter-like shadows surrounding him. Not a sound dare break the stillness. As he stared into the dark, he noticed a foul taste in his mouth and brought a trembling hand across his lips. Something cold and wet clung to his fingers. A sharp gasp fled his throat and he abruptly withdrew them. A dark, crimson liquid stained his fingernails and hands, and its paint-like texture convinced him it was imaginary. However, as he drifted slowly forward, he noticed the red substance trailed to where he had awoken on the floor.

What have I done?

The question echoed through his spinning thoughts whilst he followed the smear of blood. He wandered forward, feeling his body tremble as the grisly sight became gradually too real and horrible to accept. It was then, everything he dreaded most, all the worst nightmares in the world came to life before his very eyes. A broken scream erupted from his throat as he flew forward. Tears streamed slowly down his cheeks.

"No, No…No! This can't be!"

Her once bright, cheerful eyes were glassy, still and stared up at the heavens. A pool of blood surrounded her and trickled slowly down the steps on which she lay. Like a witness, the cross hanging on the wall loomed above her. He felt to his knees upon the steps and lifted her limp, cold, and naked body into his arms. Not a whisper of a breath escaped her lungs. All the life she possessed was brutally drained away. A demon destroyed her. A man awoke to save her…but her soul departed from the world without him.

No…! What have I done? She was innocent!

With a bitter scream, he began to weep. He clutched her lifeless figure against his chest, whilst pale moonbeams filtered across the floor, illuminating the blood-covered floor and her porcelain figure. Coils of blood-covered ringlets tumbled chaotically against her face and back. Desperately, he attempted to decipher his memories, but they were empty of everything except his last moment with her. He remembered the softness of her voice when he held her close, and heard her whisper his name – and the love in her heart. As if hoping her soul would return to him, his broken voice called out as he looked toward the starry heavens, searching beyond the windows of his holy prison for absolution but finding none.

Repeatedly to himself, he spoke the familiar sound of her name. Her face seemed oddly peaceful. Blood stained her soft cheeks and matted her beautiful ebony hair. He forced himself to look at the proof of his treachery – the evidence of his cruelty, folly, and lust. His eyes drifted to the two puncture marks marring the delicate skin on her neck. Dried remnants of blood caked around the open wounds. Between fits of sobs, he stroked her hair and whispered indiscernible words of comfort in her ear. Within his injured soul, he believed in her belief of him, and in the possibly they could coexist. Love, in all its depth and meaning, was supposed to preserve the remnants of his humanity.

Together, two naked figures lay in the moonlight like fallen spirits. Blood slid down his trembling hands and pooled around them on the floor. Words became unnecessary. As if her body would disintegrate in his arms, he held her against his cold chest, despising the fiendish nakedness of his ashen flesh, which looked as white as milk in the pale moonlight. He loved her more than himself. He loved her more than the world would ever know…to the point that love was lethal. Very delicately, he brushed her eyelids closed with the tips of his fingers, allowing her to rest at last. What little remained of himself died with her. Joachim existed only in confines of memory, of things that once were, and were no more. Lost in time and carried away. A pale, wretched, murderous creature stole away the man inside.

I am a living memory.

Tears continued falling down his cheeks and dripped off his chin. Something inside him warned that he was no longer alone. With a heavy sigh, he broke his gaze from her long enough to force his head up. Standing not even ten feet from him was a familiar tall, armored figure. Coils of thick shimmering red hair splayed against the creature's broad shoulder blades and beautiful visage. However, the moment he saw the figure, Joachim's eyes narrowed into slits and he spat, his voice resembling the hiss of an angry serpent. "You…!"

A smirk shadowed the figure's face as he stepped forward, his armored boots thumping across the floor. His dark, glittering eyes stared at the naked young man before flitting to the lifeless woman draped in his arms. For a moment, he grimaced at the sight, though the empathy he expressed soon faded into cold indifference.

"As I said…" Walter began, his voice darkening to the point that the young man froze and became almost statue-like. "You are inhuman. What happened was inevitable."

"I do not know what happened!" He spat, bearing his teeth and allowing the red-haired companion a glimpse of his gleaming fangs. With a trembling hand, he wiped some of the tears from his eyes, even though more continued to fall and replace them. "This was all your fault! You…you…turned me into…a beast!"

"I made you immortal!" The demon snapped. One of his gauntlet-covered hands formed into a fist, and his fine, delicate lips curled into a resentful sneer. With a huff, Walter approached the young man and towered over him, his long, black cape sweeping around his muscular figure whilst he continued. "Vampires are destined to feed off humans. Love is not included in our thirst for blood, nor can it prevent us from causing others harm. Not even the ones we love most."

"Of course, Walter." Joachim sneered, his tone acquiring a hint of sarcasm when his eyes rolled back in their sockets and he burst into a fit of audacious laughter, not caring if he offended the other vampire with his mockery. Even though he incensed Walter, he did not care. The worst thing that could happen had already befallen him. As he laughed, the brokenness he felt inside his soul compelled him to emphasize his pain. "I loved her. But because of you, she lives no more…Catherine…my Catherine…"

He had to stop and catch his breath. It was too much but he forced himself to speak. Walter would hear him and know his pain, even if it cost him his own life, the red-haired tormentor standing over him would understand. He would make Walter understand.

"I knew her since we were children! My entire life…and my love…died with her. You can't even begin to understand…how much she meant to me. I despise the day I met you! Now, I have nothing-"

"Fool!"

In a matter of seconds, the demon grasped him round the throat, silencing his hatred in his throat. He felt Walter's gauntlet dig into the tender flesh of his neck. Crimson hair cascaded around the vampire's striking visage, whilst his black, abyss-like spheres devoured the young man's rage.

"What did you expect would happen? When you did not return to Eternal Night, I suspected that woman convinced you to stay. Eternity has a price…and you paid for it with her life."

"I would not have bitten her, had you not made me into a monster!" He protested.

"Are you certain?" Walter raised an eyebrow and glanced at the woman in his arms.

A twinge of empathy flooded across his elegant face. For a moment, Joachim suspected his lord wished to take him into his arms. Yet, Walter knew better than to try. If he did, the young man would have instantly torn the other vampire's throat out with his bare hands. Nevertheless, he heard the red-haired lord emit a sigh, and his voice softened somewhat.

"You are not innocent." He whispered. "You put her at great risk by refusing to leave her. Vampires cannot love without consequence, Joachim."

"And what of us?" Joachim croaked. As much as he had begun to hate the red-haired demon, a part of him clung to Walter like a leech. More than anything, he feared being alone. Everyone who knew him was dead and gone. The woman he loved had ascended into heaven – without him – and because of him. "You…caused all of this! I…defiled her…even though…all I wanted…was to be with her. I killed her!"

"You cannot live as humans do, Joachim. You belong to the night…and to-"

"No one." Joachim snarled, flashing his incisors once again.

"To me." Walter corrected. The red-haired lord's lips curled. However, Joachim ignored his master's growing impatience.

With a dismissive flick of the hand, he hissed between gritted enamels. "Think what you want. I hope you enjoy burning in hell, Walter, for I plan to send you there myself!"

To his surprise, Walter merely smiled in response. A red tint appeared in the creature's eyes, and the youth's vision began to darken. Joachim struggled to remain conscious and tightened his hold around Catherine's cold body, willing to die with her if it meant escaping the red-haired lord's possessive grip over his heart.

"We will see about that, servant."