Hello! :-) I know it's been awhile since I've been here, but I had this chapter mostly written and decided to complete and post it to see if I can get my creative juices going again.
While I am very happy with the Season 8 finale, as I'm sure all of you are, too :-), I also have many thoughts about some of what transpired during and after the season, both on the show and especially concerning some people of a certain fan base. I have mostly, thankfully, avoided the masses, but I began to write down the thoughts I do have concerning a few things WCTH-related because I have not expressed them to anyone since the season ended, but after thinking more about it, I have decided not to engage. I want to keep this story as positive and as Elizabeth and Lucas-focused as I can, especially if I continue to write more chapters.
For those of you who have been fighting the good fight, I applaud you. I admit I hardly ever even look at the WCTH fanfic page because I did make that mistake a while ago and I saw, and I realized in what direction that site was going. It is wonderful to see more E&L fanfics, and I am planning to read those stories.
I understand what some of the unhappy fans are doing with their stories and, of course, they have every right to express their displeasure in the form of fanfic. It's probably a better/healthier avenue than I understand some are taking. I wrote my first E&L fanfic because I wasn't happy with the way Season 7 ended, so I totally get that.
And speaking of my first fanfic, "Writing A New Chapter," I sincerely want to thank everyone (and hopefully some of you are also checking out this story so you will see this) who has viewed that story, reviewed it, followed and made it a favorite. I am delighted to say the views have more than doubled since the season finale aired, so I know there are E&L fans out there. :-) I am very thankful and very appreciative you have taken the time to check out and maybe even read my story or at least a chapter or two. :-) If you have, I hope you have enjoyed it.
Finally, here is the latest chapter of my current E&L fanfic.
Chapter 18
"It's so nice to spend some time with you," Abigail said to Elizabeth, as they sat in the quiet café drinking tea.
"I'm surprised there's no one else here," Elizabeth remarked.
"The after church crowd left a little while ago, and it's too early for dinner. You came at a good time. What's on your mind?"
"First of all, how are you and how is Henry? And how are the two of you doing together?"
Abigail smiled at her dear friend. "We're both fine. Henry will probably come by before you leave. He's working in his office and then he will come here for a bite to eat."
"Things are going okay with the oil business?"
Abigail sighed. "As well as can be expected. Henry and Mike put in a lot of hours. I'm glad they found someone to replace Fiona. He'll be starting soon, I do believe."
"That's good."
"I know Fiona is looking forward to being at the dress shop. Poor thing was not happy at Gowen Petroleum, but she is very smitten with Mike and that's why she stayed."
Elizabeth smiled. "They are a cute couple, aren't they? Mike dotes on her so much. Lucas tells me how much fun they have at the saloon. I'm happy for both of them."
"Me, too. I'm happy for Clara, too. She told me how much she enjoyed being with Amelia last night. I think it's great you and Lucas are letting Clara take the lead with your daughter. She looks so joyful when she talks about being able to care for her. Clara and Jesse said the dinner was lovely. That was kind of Rosemary and Lee. I'm glad she and Jesse got to spend some time with all of you and that things seem to be so much better between them."
"It was a fun night, and it was nice to see Clara and Jesse looking happy. I think seeing Clara with Amelia helped Clara, Lucas and me."
Abigail gave her a curious look. "I know, from Clara, Lucas was having a few doubts, but you weren't, were you?"
"Not about Clara, no," Elizabeth quickly explained. "But about returning to the classroom, a little bit. I don't know why I'm so anxious. I love it there. I know it's my calling, and there's no place I'd rather be, but with everything that's happened, well, I had some doubts about leaving my children. Last night helped. A lot."
"It's going to be fine," Abigail said, patting her friend's hand. "You'll see. I think it's good you're starting out slowly, though. That will help build your confidence."
"I think so, too. And I like this substitute teacher, so that's been a relief since we know how that situation has gone in the past."
Abigail chuckled. "Oh, yes. I would say you and the children were blessed this time. Cody likes him since he's been back, but I know he's looking forward to seeing you in the classroom again."
"I agree, and seeing the children and being around them again is what I'm most looking forward to. Getting back into my teaching and lesson planning routine will come. I know it will."
After both women took a sip of their tea, Abigail observed Elizabeth over the rim of her cup.
"I sense, though, that what we have talked about is not the reason you wanted to meet."
Elizabeth returned her cup to its saucer, lowered her head for a moment, and then looked at her friend and sighed. "It's not. There's something else I would like to speak with you about if I may."
"Of course. You know you can talk to me about anything."
"It's very personal, and I wouldn't say this to just anyone, but you are one of my closest friends who I know I can trust. I need to get this out before I go crazy."
"Elizabeth, what is it?"
She ran her finger over the rim of her cup and looked down for a moment before raising her eyes to her concerned friend and said what she had come to say.
"It's about Lucas and me. We…we haven't been together as a husband and wife should be since before I gave birth to Amelia and while I feel I am ready to be his wife again in every sense of the word and Carson has assured me I am fine, I haven't told Lucas my fear."
"Your fear?" Abigail asked. "About?"
"I struggle even saying this, but it's honestly how I feel, so I know I have to tell him, but it's so hard, Abigail. I thought, again, my life would go differently, but after my experience giving birth, I realized I don't want to have any more children. I don't want to be pregnant again."
"I see," Abigail said, her voice quiet. "You've thought about this a lot, and this is truly how you feel?"
Elizabeth nodded, looking miserable. "I so wanted…hoped…to be able to give Lucas a son of his own. We both love Amelia with all of our hearts, but I can't…I can't go through that again. I don't want to go through that again."
Abigail nodded. She saw her friend's struggle was real. She knew she needed to offer words of comfort and assurance.
"I believe Lucas will understand your concerns, Elizabeth. He will. He was terrified for you. We all saw him. He was a mess when he thought he was going to lose you. He wouldn't leave your side, and he tried to take the best care of you and Amelia and Jack. He loves you so much that if this is what you want, I believe he will honor your wishes."
Elizabeth rose from her chair and stood near the back of the café. Abigail rose, too, and came to stand behind her.
"If this is how you truly feel, you have to tell Lucas. He needs to know."
Elizabeth nodded without turning around.
"I know. I just…why is life so hard sometimes? I keep letting myself dream and wish for things to be a certain way, and then something happens, and it changes all of my beliefs and makes me doubt myself and what I hope for."
Abigail moved to face Elizabeth. "You can't think for one moment this will change anything between you and Lucas. That man loves you fiercely, Elizabeth, and you have a beautiful family. You can't trivialize that because you have made a choice, albeit probably a wise one, given your concerns, and one that maybe Lucas himself has realized, too."
Elizabeth nodded and looked lovingly at her rings before speaking to her friend. "I never thought I would find someone to love again after Jack died. I really didn't. To have Lucas come into my life and love me and our children the way he does has been such an unexpected and beautiful blessing. You're right. We have a great life, and I need to talk to my husband to let him know how I feel."
Abigail smiled. "I'm sure he will understand and like I said, he may even agree with you and tell you he's been thinking the same thing. C'mon. Let's enjoy one more cup of tea before you head home."
"Did you have a nice visit with Abigail?" Lucas asked Elizabeth, as they were winding down the evening on the settee in the living room.
"Very nice. I saw Henry. He and Abigail look so happy. I'm happy for them."
"I am, too."
"We should have dinner with them soon."
"That would be very nice. You seem calmer than you were yesterday or even this morning. Did Abigail help allay your concerns about returning to the classroom?"
"Yes, but Lucas," Elizabeth said, reaching for his hand to lace with hers as she looked at him, "that's not why I went to see her."
"It's not?" he asked, puzzled.
She shook her head. "There was a completely different reason why I wanted to speak with Abigail, and now I need to tell you what it is. But first, hold me?"
"Of course."
He wrapped his arms around her, pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.
"You know you can tell me anything. There are no secrets between us."
"I know, and I should have told you this sooner, but I was afraid to say out loud what I know in my heart to be true."
"Sweetheart," Lucas said, speaking against her hair, "you're scaring me a little. What's going on?"
She turned within the safety of his strong arms so she could face him as she spoke.
"I shared something with Abigail that I know is now time to tell you. Lucas, I want us to be husband and wife again, in every way that matters. Once again, you have been so patient with me, and I can't tell you what that has meant to me, but I…I don't want us to have any more children. I'm sorry, Lucas. I just don't think I can go through being pregnant again knowing what may happen. I've been so scared to say anything because I knew once I spoke the words, my decision would become real. I have thought this for a while, and I wanted to be certain. I'm sorry, but I haven't changed my mind. I so wanted to give you a son, but I just…I'm too scared, just thinking about what could happen. I'm so sorry, Lucas. I really am."
"It's okay," Lucas said, whispering against her cheek. "I totally understand."
"You….you do?" Elizabeth asked, needing to be sure she'd heard her husband correctly.
He nodded and gave her a soft smile.
"Yes, I do. I know what you went through and how hard your recovery has been. I've thought about this, too, and I'm not sure I would want to go through the possibility of something going wrong again. We have our beautiful family, Elizabeth, and I know just how fortunate we are. I'm fine with things just as they are. We are all happy and healthy and that is all that matters."
Elizabeth smiled as she tenderly stroked his beard. "I love you, Mr. Bouchard. So much. Thank you for understanding, my love."
"I love you, Mrs. Bouchard. So very much. We will be fine. Come on. Let's go upstairs. You have a big day tomorrow and you need your rest."
As they climbed the stairs while holding hands, Elizabeth marveled once again at how she had been so blessed to find another man who loved her so completely and so selflessly. She decided to plan a special night just for them soon. Very soon.