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Chapter 22

Dinner that evening became a solemn affair, but Elizabeth and Lucas did not want Jack to go to bed hungry, and they both needed more time to process what they were going to say to their son. Even though Lucas immediately canceled the two remaining meetings he had on his schedule so he and Elizabeth could talk and come to an agreement about how much to reveal to Jack, Elizabeth's mind continued to race. She suspected Lucas's did, too, even though they didn't speak much on the walk home. None of them had much of an appetite. Jack played with the food on his plate more than he ate it, but he still managed to eat some vegetables which made Elizabeth feel a little better. Her own plate remained mostly untouched as did her husband's.

"Jack," she said, when it was evident dinner was done and they could no longer delay the inevitable, "your father and I have something we want to show you. Let's go upstairs."

His mother walked with him while his father carried Amelia. They entered Jack's room and once Lucas had settled Amelia in her crib, Elizabeth asked Jack to sit on his bed. Lucas sat down next to him while Elizabeth went into her bedroom. Lucas knew what she was going to show their son. They had talked about it in his office and both agreed it would be the best way to begin to tell Jack about his father. He wanted to be with his wife to make certain she was okay, but he knew he needed to stay with Jack who, he could tell, still felt insecure and confused.

Elizabeth stood in front of her nightstand and after pausing a moment to release a deep breath, she opened the drawer, retrieved a box and set it on the bed. After lifting the lid, she carefully pulled back the white cloth which covered and had preserved most of the precious contents of what remained from her life with Jack. The beautifully framed black and white photograph of Constable Jack Thornton dressed in his uniform greeted her. She had not looked at his picture in almost two years and yet the intense feelings of love and of loss came rushing back. She sucked in a harsh breath and knew she needed to sit down. Feeling a bit lightheaded and tearful, she sat and lovingly held the frame in her hands, gazing at his handsome regal face. She gingerly traced the glass with her index finger as if she were actually caressing his cheek and then offered up a silent prayer for strength.

Our son needs to know who you are and how important you are to both of us, she thought, as she gathered herself to enter her son's room to begin the process of telling him about his deceased father.

Lucas looked up when he saw his wife, wearing a somber expression as she carried the frame close to her, and motioned for her to sit on the other side of their son. With curious eyes, Jack watched her, too, even though he wasn't sure he wanted to hear what his parents were about to tell him.

"Jack," Elizabeth began, relieved her voice sounded strong, "I have something I want to show you. It's something you've seen before, but I know you probably won't remember because you were too young. Okay?"

He nodded.

She positioned the frame in front of her, looked lovingly at it one more time and then showed it to her son.

"My sweet boy, the man in this picture? This man is your father. I was married to him before I knew Daddy Lucas. But sadly, he is not here anymore. He went to be with the angels, but he gave me the most wonderful gift I could have ever asked for. He gave me you, Jack, to be with me always and so that a piece of him will always be with us."

"My father?" Jack asked, as he stared at the picture, seemingly mesmerized by what he saw. "Mountie Jack?"

Elizabeth nodded and swallowed hard, fighting back tears. "Yes, Jack. This is Mountie Jack. Constable Jack Thornton. Your father. You are named after him because that's how much I loved him and how much I love you. This is the man the other students were talking about. He was a wonderful man, Jack. An honorable and great man. The children knew him and loved him. He loved them, too. That's why they were so excited to tell you about him. They didn't do it to hurt you, my son. They weren't being mean. Daddy Lucas and I have been wanting to tell you about him, but we were waiting for the right time. But the children didn't know that. They thought you knew that Mountie Jack was your father."

"Did you know him?" Jack asked Lucas, looking at him with expectant eyes, wanting the answer to be yes.

Lucas shook his head. "No, son. Unfortunately, I did not have that privilege. I came to live here after he was gone. When I moved here, your mother already had you, but you were just a baby. I met you and your mother at the same time. But your mother and many others like Auntie Rosemary and Uncle Lee have told me such heartwarming stories about your father, Jack. I wish I had known him."

"Oh," Jack said, crestfallen. "So my daddy's gone."

"Your father died a very brave man who helped save other men's lives," Elizabeth said, wanting him to know what a hero his father was, "and he is watching over us, Jack, and I know he is very happy we have Daddy Lucas in our lives to help take care of us and love us."

"I'm sad," Jack said, wanting to go to Lucas but not sure he should.

After Elizabeth nodded, Lucas lifted Jack and placed him on his lap facing his mother who, after setting the picture down beside her, scooted closer so she could gauge her son's reactions.

"Tell us why you're sad," Lucas encouraged. "We want to know what you're thinking and feeling."

"I don't have a daddy," Jack said plaintively.

"You most certainly do," Lucas said, holding him a little closer, hoping the little boy could feel his warmth and know he was loved and protected. "You have me."

"Jack, Daddy Lucas is your father. He loves you, he cares for you, he takes care of us. We are a family and that is never going to change."

"I couldn't love you more, Jack, and you are my son. In every way that matters. I will always be here for you."

"What about my other daddy?"

"Your father is in Heaven, Jack," Elizabeth said. "Remember when we talked about the angels?"

He nodded.

"That's where your father is. He's watching over us, Jack, but he's not here. Daddy Lucas is here with us now, and we are all together."

Jack looked at Lucas. "Can I still call you my daddy? Because I want to. I want you to be my daddy. Please?"

Lucas smiled and kissed the top of his son's head. "Of course you can. I am your father, Jack, and no one can tell you I'm not."

"Okay."

"Come here, my sweet boy," Elizabeth said, taking Jack from Lucas and settling him on her lap. "We know the foundation of your world was rocked quite a bit today, and Daddy and I are sorry we were not the ones to tell you about your father, but we love you, Jack. So much. If you have questions, you need to ask us. Okay? There's more we want you to know, but when you're older so you will understand better. Please, Jack. My prayer is that you can somehow understand that yes, while Daddy Lucas is not your first father, he is your father now and for always."

"You won't leave?" Jack asked, looking at Lucas. "I don't want you to leave."

"I'm not going anywhere, son," Lucas said, his dark eyes shining bright with unshed tears as he witnessed how helpless Jack must feel and yet how trusting this precious boy truly was.

He never wanted to do anything to cause Jack not to trust him. He could not love this little boy more and he so wanted to protect him and his mother from the hurt and sorrow he knew they were both experiencing. He could only imagine what must have gone through Elizabeth's mind and heart when she pulled out Jack's picture. He knew the wounds she had fought so hard to heal had to have been ripped opened anew. They never spoke of it in the daylight, but he knew she sometimes still had bad dreams about the way Jack had died. When she would awaken with a start and a cry in the middle of night, he knew why, and he would wrap his arm around her waist and hold her close until she fell back asleep. He knew there was so much more that needed to be said to their son, but the main thing they had agreed on for this conversation was that Jack would know who his father was and that Lucas would always be with them.

"Okay," Jack said, turning in his mother arms to give her a hug.

"Are you all right?" she asked as she held him, trying her hardest not to cry in front of him.

"Yes."

"Then why don't we get you ready for bed. I think a good night's sleep will do wonders for you."

Both parents remained with him until he climbed under the covers. After asking him and Jack saying it was all right, Elizabeth set the framed picture on her son's dresser. They took turns reading to him and watching for any signs of distress. When they thought he was drifting off, they said goodnight and told him how much they loved him. Ready to exit his room after checking on Amelia, they heard Jack call for them. They looked at each other and nodded.

"Jack," Elizabeth said, as they stood near his bed, "would you like to sleep with us tonight?"

"I big boy. I'm okay."

Lucas knelt down in front of him so they would be at eye level. "You are a big boy, but you know what? Sometimes, it's okay for a big boy to sleep with his parents."

"What about Amelia? She might be scared to be alone."

"She'll be fine," Elizabeth said and smiled at his thoughtfulness. "I will be up with her in a few hours."

"It's really okay?" Jack asked, looking hopefully from his mother to his father.

He hardly ever got to sleep with his parents unless he had a really bad nightmare.

They both looked at him and smiled.

"It's really okay, son," they said in unison.

Jack scrambled out of his bed and was making himself comfortable in his parents' bed before they even reached their room.

Lucas awoke before dawn and found himself in an empty bed. After tidying himself and putting on his robe, he peeked in Jack's room and saw he was sound asleep in his own bed. Amelia was sleeping, too. He noticed a light on downstairs and noiselessly made his way to the living room where he found Elizabeth sitting on the sofa, writing furiously in her journal. A cup and saucer and a small plate of crackers sat on a nearby end table.

Not wanting to interrupt her train of thought, he silently leaned against the wall and watched as her eyes darted to and fro and the pen she held tightly in her fingers glided effortlessly across the pages. He had a hunch what she may be writing because he recognized the journal he had given her several Christmases ago. He had to admit, as time passed, he wasn't sure she would ever use that particular journal, but he hoped someday she would. He knew having to tell their son about his late father had to be what prompted this very early morning writing session. He wondered if she had gotten any sleep.

After writing in a few more of the pages, she sighed, closed the book, put down the pen and then picked up her teacup to take a sip and munch on a cracker. She finally looked up and saw her husband standing near the entrance of the room.

"Good morning," he said, "even though it technically isn't morning. Yet. How long have you been down here?"

"Good morning," she said, patting the space next to her as an invitation to join her, which he gladly did. "I've been awake for the last hour. Jack woke up and wanted to go back to his bed. He said he missed Amelia. He was so sweet. I took that as a good sign, though. I think he'll be okay. I told him I would be down here if he needed me."

"You should have woken me up," he gently chided.

"You need your sleep, too. I was mostly awake anyway."

"I checked on Jack when I got up. He seemed to be sound asleep. Amelia looked comfortable, too."

"Good. He was restless in our bed."

"I know. I tried to stay awake in case he needed us or wanted to ask us more questions, but then I fell asleep. Did you get any sleep?"

"Some. He finally fell asleep, but he heard me when I got up with Amelia. I don't think he went back to sleep. I woke up when I heard him leaving our bed. He told me he wanted to go back to his bed. I made sure he was okay and then I decided to stay up. I felt the need to begin writing about Jack in this beautiful journal you gave me. It's lovely, Lucas. I had not really looked at it because I knew I wasn't ready to put my thoughts about my life with Jack on paper, but now, I want to. I have to. This is no longer for me, Lucas. This is for our son."

"I agree. I'm happy you're doing this, sweetheart. I think this will be good for you, too."

"I'll be honest. Writing about my life with Jack, both the good and the not so good, is breaking my heart all over again, so I give fair warning that I may be an emotional mess at times, but I am committed to doing this. I'm so pleased and grateful I have Jack's sketches and artwork that I can share with our son when he is a bit older. I also want him to see and appreciate those beautiful illustrations his father did for my short stories. I am so thankful Jack took the time to do those things and that he shared his talent with me so that when the time is right, I can gift them to our son. He will have a bit of a legacy from his father that I believe he will treasure. These are tangible precious memories for me, Lucas. I know you understand."

"I absolutely do, and I am thankful you have these wonderful pieces of Jack with you and that our son will have them, too. Whatever you need or Jack needs, you know I will be there to help."

"I know. I wish this wasn't so hard, but I know it's going to be. You know Jack has more questions, but he's still too young to understand or be able to ask. I just want him to know he is loved by both of us and that will never change. When I woke up, he was sitting in the middle of the bed watching you. He thinks you're going to somehow disappear. We have to assure him you won't."

Lucas inched closer so his wife could see the sincerity and determination in his eyes. "We will do whatever it takes to make sure that little boy knows he is safe, protected and loved."

Elizabeth nodded. "And we will. I know that."

She tried to stifle a yawn, but Lucas saw it and told her she needed to get more sleep.

"We both do," she agreed, standing up. "Come on. If we're lucky, maybe we can get two more hours of shut eye before another day begins in earnest."

When Clara arrived, ready to take care of Amelia, she found Laura waiting for her and saw a group of students huddled near the side of the house.

"What do you suppose is going on over there?" Clara asked.

"I just talked to them. Apparently, they said something they shouldn't have to Jack yesterday at school. They want to apologize, but they want us to run interference for them."

"I guess that's why things seemed awkward when they arrived home with Jack. I wondered what was going on. What did the kids say?"

"They mentioned Constable Thornton to Jack, not realizing he didn't know who that was."

"Oh, no," Clara said with a frown. "That must have been hard to hear. Well, shall we let them know they have visitors?"

"Yes. They all need to get to school soon, including Mrs. Bouchard, so we'd better let them know."

Laura signaled to Robert they were going in. He nodded, looking hopeful.

When Elizabeth answered the door and greeted Clara and Laura, they told her she had guests waiting to see her, Lucas and Jack to apologize for what had happened at school the previous day. She took a few steps onto the porch and saw her students standing off to the side, including Anna, Emily, Timmy, Allie and Opal looking at her expectantly, waiting for her to acknowledge them.

"Laura, please tell them they can come in. I'll let Lucas and Jack know."

"Lucas, Jack," she called since they were in the kitchen, "we have company. Robert, Cody and several of my students are here to apologize. Please come to the living room."

Clara remained by the open door, ready to let them inside. Laura led the way.

Lucas settled Jack on the sofa and took a seat next to him, placing his arm around his son's shoulders, ready to intervene if Jack got upset. He seemed better that morning but was still somewhat subdued. Lucas had mentioned to Elizabeth that maybe he should stay home with him, but she thought it best if they both went to their respective jobs. Lucas agreed but decided he would wait for a bit after Elizabeth left to make sure Jack was okay. He was relieved Clara and Laura would now be aware of the situation as he and Elizabeth had planned to tell them what happened. He admired the children for taking this step and smiled and nodded at his wife as she sat on the other side of their son after greeting her students.

"Mr. Bouchard," Robert began, standing in front of the three of them as the spokesperson for the group. The other boys and girls circled around him to offer their support. "We are so sorry for what happened yesterday. We did not mean to upset Jack in any way. We thought, actually I was the one who stupidly brought it up, but we thought we were having a fun conversation with him about going to the school named after his father and where his mother would be his teacher until we saw his reaction. We had no idea he didn't know about Constable Thornton, but we are so sorry we mentioned it without first asking you, Mrs. Bouchard, if it was okay to talk to Jack about that subject. We hope you are doing okay, Jack, and we hope all three of you will accept our sincere apology."

Lucas stood and extended his hand for Robert to shake, which he gladly did.

"This was very mature of you, Robert, and very thoughtful. For all of you to come to our home to apologize to us and to check on Jack is commendable."

Elizabeth stood, too. "Yes. We appreciate your candidness and, of course, we accept your apology."

"Thank you," Robert and the others said, relief evident in their voices.

They nodded and smiled and waved at Jack who waved back.

"May I talk to Jack?" Robert asked.

"Of course," Elizabeth said.

Robert knelt down in front of Jack and smiled at him. "I'm so, so sorry I upset you, Jack," he said sincerely. "It was thoughtless of me to talk about something so personal with you. Do you forgive me?"

"Yes," Jack said, looking at all of them as they moved closer to him. "Mama and Daddy told me about my daddy and showed me his picture. It's okay."

"So are we friends, Jack?" Cody asked, smiling at him.

Jack nodded. "I friends with all of you. I like you."

"Yay," they all said, as they took turns saying goodbye to Jack.

Elizabeth and Lucas walked them to the door and thanked them once more.

"I didn't want to graduate on a bad note," Robert said. "Thank you for accepting our apology."

"You're welcome," Elizabeth said and smiled. "You're still making your speech, right? I'm counting on you."

Robert looked at his friends and grinned. "We may have something even better for you, Mrs. Bouchard."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Oh? Well, I look forward to it, whatever it may be."

"You'll be there, too, right, Mr. Bouchard?" Robert asked.

Lucas placed a gentle hand on his wife's shoulder. "I wouldn't miss it."

"Good."

"You all run along so you won't be late to class," Elizabeth said. "I have it on good authority your teacher won't be happy if you are late. I am right behind you. See you in a little while."

They laughed and ambled down the front steps, feeling lighthearted as they chatted happily while walking down the road.

"That was a very nice and humble gesture," Lucas said, after closing the door. "I believe you have taught them well, Mrs. Bouchard."

"I can't take all the credit," she said and grinned. "Their parents deserve that praise. They are all good kids."

"True, but they knew how much they hurt you and our son yesterday. They cared enough to make it right. I think that's a credit to you as their teacher."

"I'll accept that," she said and smiled.

"So, now, you are caught up," Lucas said to Clara and Laura while Elizabeth placed the items she would need for school in her basket and prepared to head to the schoolhouse.

"Yes, we are. Poor Jack," Clara said.

"But I know the kids didn't mean to upset him," Laura defended. "They felt so bad when I spoke with them this morning."

"We know," Lucas said, wanting Laura to know he and Elizabeth understood. "We are very grateful they came by to apologize. It was an honorable gesture on their part. Our main concern is that Jack is okay."

"I've been talking to him," Laura said. "He seems fine."

"Good. Let's hope it stays that way."

"I'll keep him busy. We'll do some fun activities."

"I'll help, too," Clara said. "We'll keep him occupied."

"We would appreciate that," Elizabeth said, now standing at her husband's side, basket in hand.

"I was going to stay behind for a bit, but maybe we should leave together," Lucas said to Elizabeth. "You know you can always call me. I can get home quickly if needed," he then said to Clara and Laura.

"We know. Jack will be fine. You two have a good day."

"Thank you," Elizabeth said. "You, too. Amelia should be awake soon."

"I'm on it," Clara said. "I'll go check on her right now."

Laura walked into the kitchen to prepare breakfast while Elizabeth and Lucas sat on either side of Jack.

"That was nice of Robert and the others to apologize this morning, wasn't it, Jack?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes."

"We're going to leave now, but Laura and Clara are here and Amelia should be awake soon. Will you be okay with them?" Lucas asked.

Jack nodded.

"Okay, son," he said. "Your mother will be home later this afternoon, and I will be here for dinner."

"Good," Jack said and smiled and at both parents.

They hugged and kissed him goodbye and told him how much they loved him. He stood when they began to walk towards the door. Laura returned to the area and saw Clara descending the steps with Amelia in her arms.

"Looks like a busy morning for us," Laura said to Jack. "Let's start with breakfast."

He waved goodbye to his parents and then followed Laura and Clara into the kitchen.

Elizabeth and Lucas stopped once they stood outside.

"I think he'll be okay," Elizabeth said, trying to convince herself.

"He will be," Lucas assured her. "Laura knows how to keep him busy."

He looked up at the bright blue sky.

"It's a nice day. She'll take him outside. They'll have fun."

Elizabeth nodded.

"The question is will you be okay?"

She smiled. "Yes. Once I get to school, my attention will be on my students. I know the time will go by fast. It usually does."

"I can walk with you if you'd like."

Elizabeth looked down the road and smiled. "Thank you, but I don't think that will be necessary. Looks like the children decided to wait for me. I'd better join them. You know how upset their teacher gets when her students are late."

Lucas laughed. "Yes. I'm sure those poor children do not want to see Mrs. Bouchard's scowling teacher face yet again during their last week of school."

"I do not scowl," she said, feigning offense. "I merely let them know I am not happy with them."

"By scowling. I know. I've seen it. I've even experienced it. Not that I deserved it, but whatever. It's not a pleasant look, Mrs. Bouchard. I have to tell you that."

She smirked and then grinned. "If I did that to you, it's most certainly because you deserved it, Mr. Bouchard. And by the way, it's not supposed to be pleasant. That's the point. I love you. I need to get to school."

Lucas grinned. He knew he would never win this battle and he was fine with that. He was happy to see his wife smile, even if it was at his expense.

"Have a wonderful day, Mrs. Bouchard. I will be home early."

"I love the sound of that."

"I love you."

They shared another smile before they parted ways, both ready to begin their days, their son and his well-being never far from their minds as they went about performing the tasks they both did so well.