AN: This is my first story, no flames please. If I get three reviews ill write another chapter.

Tell me what you guys think!

Somewhere in space…

Two powerful beings wearing thick robes with hoods were discussing events that would affect the entire universe in the 'best' way possible. Floating in the miserable cold of space, they have waited for this meeting for many centuries.

"A black hole! Just a random black hole!" Exclaimed the taller of the pair.

"No, that's not what we are here to discuss." Hissed the shorter being." We are not making the same mistake as last time!" He, of course, liked watching the events unfold as if he were watching a movie.

The topic of discussion was something that would keep them sane for the next thousand years. Something so weird and outside the box, that it would create the best sequence of events for their own pleasure and entertainment.

The events that occurred 'last time' were short lived and destructive, it was a black hole. The making of the hole had been botched, resulting in the destruction of a single planet's atmosphere. This of course devastated the planets ecosystem and killed everything. But for this duo, it was the most boring sequence of events in the history of the universe.

"It would have worked If I didn't have you looking over my shoulder while I made the damn thing!" The taller of the two childishly protested.

"This is irrelevant now," stated the short stack. They had both agreed that they would come up with the most out of the box event in the universe.

"Look at this thing," he extended his arm upwards and an image began to appear above his hand." It is quite possibly the most evil, maleficent, deceitful, and destructive thing I have ever laid my eyes upon!"

The taller of the two observed with great interest at the 'thing' that his partner had produced before him.

"I don't get it, is it supposed to be like super big and murderous?" questioned the larger one. "Does it have laser eyes?"

"No, it doesn't have laser eyes." Stated the shorty, "But its eyes stare through your very soul judging you to your core, making you regret letting it into the bathroom with you while you take a shit. This is the most intricate and evil thing I have ever seen."

"If what you say is true, then this 'thing' is not loved by anything and is incapable of love." Proclaimed the long boy.

"That is where you are wrong my old friend." Revealed the tiny one, "There is a certain species that is so stupid that they keep these things in their homes with their own babies!"

Both beings agreed that this 'thing' was a topic of interest in their discussion. But they needed something to make it more interesting. They both brainstormed for a hot minute.

"We could give it laser eyes!" offered the tall one.

"While I like the thought, Its too bland." Stated the little man, "I do like the idea of giving it some power though."

"Give it the power to create black- "

"No, you fool!" Exclaimed pint sized, "I meant a fraction of our power! Why do you seek to create only black holes!"

The taller one seemed to shrink away, "You don't think they look cool?"

"While they do look cool, black holes have been used many times in our endeavors." Said the smaller one softer this time. "It's actually kind of a beta move at this point bro."

"Oh really?" questioned the larger one. "Then what is the alpha move in this particular time around?"

"I say we give it the ability to be more intelligent than its owners," revealed the small one, "And we give it a fraction of our power… and maybe it can create black holes too."

"We have had some bright ideas before, but this one… this one takes the cake," admitted the larger one.

On Earth in America…

I was on the life-support machine they used on dying people. I'd said my goodbyes and farewells. My family was gone, not wanting to see me slowly pass away. Nobody was coming.

It was me and the window and the random bird that had landed on the windowsill. The machine I'd been hooked up to was thrumming with life, giving me water when I needed it, taking away my pain when I clicked a button. The TV was off, I wasn't in the mood anymore.

I hadn't been in the mood to watch TV for a long time. Sighing, I clicked the button again and slowly felt myself becoming drowsy.

I couldn't tell you what had happened, because now I was standing in my hospital gown on essentially nothing, staring at forever stars and the expansive darkness that was the galaxy unfolded. My hands were translucent, and my vision was sharper than it had been in a while. I could see clearly; I could see the molecules that were coming together to brightly light up the forever night.

"You ran out of blinks," a voice stated. Turning to my left, I saw a cosmos of a creature floating on nothing, like me. It didn't look human, yet I felt strangely calm, like it was completely normal for such a beautiful creature to appear in a dream.

"That's not a thing," I snorted, turning to once again stare into the open abyss. It was cool, and I didn't feel like my life was about to end for once. I felt like watching TV again.

"Yeah, you ran out of blinks kid. It is a thing… that exists… In this… Area of the…Universe..." A different voice trailed off. I turned to my left and witnessed a similar but taller cosmic creature fail at being a hype man…what a loser.

Why am I here? Floating in the endless, lifeless, and cold expanse that is space. With Beevus and Butthead the cosmic twins on my ass, is this what happens when you die?

"No not really, you're the first of your species we've chosen," Beevus, the shorter of the two, stated tactfully.

"You're going to have laser eyes dude!" Butthead, the taller of the two, revealed enthusiastically.

"Dude, that's only a thing in the comics," I said as a matter of factly. What a strange dream I was having at the lowest point in my life. I lived in New York and my parents died when I was six, I had no siblings. All I was given were abusive foster parents, which forced me to run away from home, which got me involved with the 'wrong crowd'.

The 'wrong crowd' meaning I would kidnap a person and my friends and I would hold that person hostage until we got some form of currency. We never did drugs or anything like that, but I got really good at sneaking around with a knife. The locals started to call us the junkyard dogs, don't know why they did, but it stuck. We went around calling ourselves dogs like idiots.

Then one night me and my friends went to a bar, one that was known for serving criminals like us. Suddenly, someone shot one of my friends so the first thing that popped up in my head was 'avenge him'. I did the one thing I was good at and charged him with my huge ass bowie knife (they sell anything in New York). He put two rounds in my chest, but before I lost consciousness, he pulled me close and whispered.

"This is for my daughter you piece of shit!" He proclaimed in rage.

So, I was avenging my friend from a dad that was avenging his daughter that we probably kidnapped, but I never did get the chance to kill him. Next thing I knew I woke up in the hospital with two bullet wounds and I was informed that I was shot in the heart in such a way that I did not have much time to live. They also informed me of a malignant tumor in my brain the size of a meatball, this must be what having a brain tumor and being on heavy pain killers is like… trippy.

"Your tragic backstory makes you perfect for this!" Butthead proclaimed. "You have the perfect mindset for our reincarnation experiment! You will be born again but this time, you will have all the previous knowledge of your past life!"

"Hey, isn't that idea kind of over used though?" I asked like it was no big deal, "at least bring me back as something cool."

They exchanged a look and turned their backs on me and talked like I wasn't even there, even though I can still clearly hear them.

"He is clearly smarter than he looks," whispered Butthead loudly

"That is technically why we chose him," replied Beevus in the same tone.

"Hey guys! I can still hear you!" I stated loudly for them to hear. It had no effect on the intended party.

"I thought it was because of his skills with the blade." Butthead replied in a confused tone.

"No that's why you chose him, I chose him because of his street whit and quick thinking." Beevus spit out in a smart tone.

It was clear that they were in their own little world and nothing I could do or say would bring them out of it.

"I think we should think about the 'thing' you know, the 'thing'…" Beevus winked after he said that. I couldn't see his face but he moved his entire body in such a comical way, that you could tell he was winking.

"Dude, I told you I'm never doing that with you." Butthead replied in a softer tone, one that I could barely hear.

"No! Not that you fool!" Beevus exclaimed incredulously, "About the thing we were talking before this."

"OH! That…." Butthead trialed off his head moving downwards.

"It's okay bro, we're all a little gay sometimes." Beevus stated supportively patting him on the back.

They both turned around simultaneously and faced me. I was proud of them in that moment, but I was a little scared of what they would do to me.

"There is no time mortal, you must cross the plain," Beevus stated in a celestial tone.

"Wait what?" I asked but it was too late.

The universe I was floating in disappeared and I felt this wave of euphoria and exhaustion, I fell into unconsciousness one more time.

Somewhere in New York City…

I woke up, not in my comfy hospital bed, but in a dark and murky puddle. The air smelled a lot like wet dog and garbage that was covered in fire. In my immediate surroundings I discovered; a trash can, a smoking sewer grate, and the dark puddle concrete I was previously sleeping in. I just woke up in an alley way… what?

'Why does everything look so huge?' I thought to myself. I was suddenly bombarded by noises of traffic that I couldn't even see the source of. I heard people talking that I couldn't even see in the alley I woke up in. It must've been about 3 in the morning, but It looked like it was daytime.

So, I was clearly not my bad ass, knife-wielding, kidnapping self anymore, that much was clear by the height of everything around me in the alley.

It all came back to me in that moment, the gunshot wounds, the brain cancer, the two cosmic beings. I was reincarnated, and from the look of it, not as a human.

I started pacing up and down the alley as best as I could, but for some reason I was on all fours and very uncoordinated. It was as if I was just born, my limbs didn't want to obey me. I stumbled my way towards the puddle that I came into this world in. I bet I'm a baby lion or something bad ass like that based on what those two were whispering about in that fever dream. I reached the murky water and peeked at my reflection.

A cute, orange, tabby cat stared back at me. Definitely not a lion, but close enough. I attempted to say something witty to sum up my situation, but the only noise that came out was what you would expect.

"Meow," I snorted smartly.

I was soaking wet and freezing cold and on top of that it began to rain. Need to find shelter lest I spontaneously die… again.

I started pacing up and down the alley looking for anything that I could crawl under and get my little paws into. There was nothing on the ground, so I looked upwards on the fire escape. There was a box looking shape on what looked like the eighth floor on a sixteen-story building, which for this kitty, looked like a window on the top of a skyscraper. The cosmic twins said that I had been given a fraction of their power. How much 'power' did they even have? Could run really fast? Could I jump really high? How was I even supposed to use these powers?

Are cats able to climb buildings? I tried to unsheathe my cat claws, but it doesn't look like I have any. How am I supposed to defend myself?

It started to rain even harder, I decided there was no time like the present to deal with this problem because of impending hypothermia.

'let's try jumping,' I concluded in my head. What's the worst that could happen?

I leaped straight up in the air with my paws outstretched and my cute little eyes closed aiming for that eighth-floor fire escape. My triangular ears were blown back by the sudden air resistance.

"MEOW!" I screamed while speeding through the air. What I meant to say was 'IM FLYING!' but I'm a cat.

My paws hit the ground, which did not feel like the metal of the fire escape, but more solid and brickish. I opened my eyes to reveal that I was on the cold hard stone of what looked like lined top of most buildings in New York. I knew that because I conducted a lot of business on the rooftops of the big apple. In fact, upon further examination of my surroundings, I was in New York!

My old stomping grounds! I used to kidnap all kinds of people here! What a stroke of luck, I knew my way around New York. I see the Empire State Building and Grand Central Station, man I love New York!

Wait… What is that large skyscraper? It looks really fancy and out of place in the middle of the business district of New York. Like a twisted symphony of metal and glass, with the word 'STARK' on its side glowing in the dark of night like a beacon.

I became very aware of a growling sound to my immediate right; I snapped my head to the source of the noise. A huge dog bared its teeth at me, foam and blood dripping from its huge jaws. My cat body lowered itself against the roof, bared my own fangs, hissed a warning. All of this felt very natural like a reflex, what I really wanted though was my knife. I could slice and dice this canine easily.

*CLANK* *CLANK*

What the fuck was that? It sounded like it came from directly under my tiny cat head. I risked a glance down, away from the blood thirsty hound. I saw my small kitty paws, attached to them were wrought iron claws. Like half crescents that were hand forged, they looked like they were professionally sharpened and specially made for my small kitty paws. I looked at my hind legs and found the same iron weapons attached to them. Where they came from, I don't know. Now I actually could slice and dice this bloody mutt.

I threw all of my cat mass at the dogs stupid, murderous, bloody jaws and ran my claws through its face. The attack was devastating and the effect was immediate. The beast's brain was visible to the open air, blood all over my kitty paws and face, my tail was swishing back and forth in pure content. There was a deep rumbling coming from my throat, I was purring.

The cat is truly the most ruthless creature out there, I could see what the cosmic twins were talking about.

I turned my attention to my huge knife claws, but they had vanished. Strange, I didn't even feel them at all. It started raining even harder, I needed to get to the eighth floor now. I waltzed down the fire escape until I got to the box shaped object.

It was a wooden box with a hole in the side and a towel on top. The inside was nice and dry but the bottom was covered by a naughty magazine, very raunchy. At least the towel didn't have pee stains like the last one but there were a lot of suspicious white spots that smelled like jizz. It was disgusting, but I was cold and wet and in the box was warm and dry.

I crawled through the hole and curled up on the naughty magazine. If I was still a dude, I would flip through it, but I'm a cat… so no.

Shivering and wet, I reflected on the events of the last hour.

I died; I came back as an orange cat with strange power that I don't quite understand yet. Jumped sixteen stories up a building, I have strange claws that I can't use whenever I want. I killed some poor dog and now I'm sleeping on top of an attractive woman's face.

I wonder what kind of trouble ill get up to tomorrow...

AN: I have some ideas about where this story could go but nothing is set in stone yet so I'm open to suggestions

Please review!