It had been a few weeks since the events of 'Harry Potter and the Ford Ex Machina' and Harry was worried. Being at the Burrow, he didn't have access to the drugs of Hogwarts, so his supply was running dangerously low. If he ran out of drugs, the consequences would be disastrous but luckily, Ron can to his aid with the Philosopher's Stone he still had since the end of the Hogwarts year.
"So, how does it work?" Harry asked. Ron shrugged so Harry started to try absolutely everything. After an hour of testing, Harry finally discovered how to use the Philosopher's Stone.
"Drugs good." Harry chanted sixty nine times as the stone did its stuff and turned a random log into a pile of weed.
Him and Ron got stoned together for the rest of the day and well into the night. They were about to go into the Burrow when Harry almost walked into a midget.
"Ron, am I hallucinating due to the sheer amount of drugs consumed?" Harry inquired.
"I don't think so." Ron replied.
"Good, because there is a literal scrotum in a pillowcase squaring up to me right now." Harry told him.
"I'm not a scrotum, I am Dobby." The scrotum corrected.
"What is a Dobby and why is it here Ron?" Harry asked, unsure of the scrotum's intentions.
"Dobby is a house elf and he brings bad news. You cannot return to Hogwarts. It is dangerous this year" Dobby told them.
"Thanks for the heads up." Ron told the scrotum and it didn't look pleased at being brushed off. The scrotum ran up to the duo and rapidly clonked them over their heads with a frying pan which had materialised from nowhere in particular. It then escaped into the night ranting about snakes, diaries and his ketamine addiction. Harry looked at Ron with visible confusion.
"The plot demands that the scrotum is an important side character in 'Harry Potter and the Ford Ex Machina 2: Electric Boogaloo'." Ron explained. Harry nodded and they finally went to sleep. Harry dreamed about how he could automate the Philosopher's Stone to expand the drug cartel known as 'Potter's Pot'.