Chapter 3

Tuesday

9:02 p.m.

They moved around the bedroom now, Alex putting her robe on, Olivia getting dressed in her black chemise, her purple robe over it. She moved to her side of the bed and sat, left knee bent on the mattress, right foot on the floor, angling her body to the left to look at her wife.

Olivia eyed the blonde who was now leaning over, reaching into the drawer of her bedside table, and retrieving a tube of lip balm.

She uncapped it and began gliding it over her lips slowly, those blue eyes now watching her.

"I wanted to tell you…right away…" Olivia started.

"Why didn't you?" Alex capped the balm and threw it back into her drawer before taking her robe off and laying it on the foot bench before joining her wife in a mirrored position on her own side.

"Because…once you hear about what this undercover case entails…I'm not even happy about it, Alex." She looked at her now.

"Olivia. If you're this worried about this case—which you haven't yet explained—and are scared to tell me about, all I can think of is that maybe it's something dangerous or something that could threaten your life…I can't imagine what it is that is so terrifying to tell me. That you couldn't tell me." Alex tucked her legs beneath the sheet and quilt and pulled both up to her waist.

"I'm going to tell you…everything, babe," Olivia's voice was soft. She took a small breath. "Just…give me a minute. It's a lot for both of us to process."

They sat in a couple moments of silence.

Then suddenly, Alex swept the covers aside and stood. "I feel like I need to not be in this room. Like we should talk about this somewhere else. Not in our bed." She retrieved her robe once more and slipped it on, tying the belt. "I'll make some chamomile and we can talk downstairs." She raised her eyebrows.

Olivia nodded. "OK, Babe."

Alex grabbed the baby monitors and headed out of the room, her silk robe flowing behind her.

9:24 p.m.

Alex sat to the left of her wife on the sofa, the blonde with her legs partially tucked beneath her to the side, her mug resting on her upper thigh, close to her body. She looked at Olivia next to her. She was sitting, holding her mug in her lap, the pad of her right thumb dragging up and down along the side of the ceramic as she focused on it.

Finally, the brunette decided to speak. "I found out on Monday that I've been assigned to an undercover case in Easthampton. Possible drugs, possible trafficking." She swallowed. "Cragen thinks…" she looked at her now, "…Cragen thinks I'd be the best person for this job." She looked back down at her mug and continued stroking the side. "I'm going to go undercover as a married couple with another woman. They'll give us a house, clothing, a car, a cell…everything we would need since we can't take anything personal of our own."

Alex watched as Olivia's eyes filled with tears and her lower lip tremble, her gaze returning to focus downward. And Alex's heart strings pulled in her wife's direction. She parted her mouth and said softly, "How long?"

Olivia shrugged her shoulders and laughed lightly. "I don't know. Cragen doesn't know, either." She took a small sip of tea before looking down once more, her face contorting. Brown eyes turned to her now. "I'm sorry, Al."

Alex took a deep breath and let it out. "And you found out on Monday?"

Olivia only nodded.

"I get why you didn't tell me, Liv…"

Olivia looked at her again, her expression heartbreakingly somber.

"Do you, Al?" Olivia furrowed her brow. "Because you know I'm not good at keeping things from you."

Alex smiled and shook her head slowly. "You never have been."

Olivia's face twisted with emotion again. "I can't—I don't want to leave you with our babies…I don't want to miss anything our babies do or say…" She leaned forward now and placed her mug on the coffee table before taking her face into her hands, elbows on her knees. "This whole thing…it's gonna fuck everything up…" she said softly.

Alex smiled and inched closer, placing her right hand on her wife's back and slowly rubbing up and down. "It won't fuck everything up, Olivia…" she waited for her wife's reaction.

The brunette took her face from her hands and looked at her morosely before smiling and laughing lightly.

"Your word, Babe." Alex continued to rub her wife's back. "Last time I heard you use that word was after the McAdams incident at the hospital…before we were married."

Olivia cocked her head to the side. "When we came back into each other's lives."

Alex nodded. "Our wonderful. magical reunion, Liv."

A comfortable silence now as they simply looked at each other.

Olivia moved closer and pulled Alex into a hug, the blonde reciprocating with equal fervor. Olivia's hold was tight, her body trembling with the firmness of the embrace. "I love you, Al."

"I know you do, Liv. As I love you, my love."

They pulled away and Olivia gently took Alex's face into her hands, looking it over before she moved in slowly and pressed her mouth to hers—warm, plush, relaxed, relieved.

When the kiss ended, they pulled away and Alex opened her eyes to find her wife's eyes still closed. She only waited.

"I need to help with this case…" Olivia husked.

"I know you do…"

"I cant do it without your support, Al…"

"I know, Liv. I know you need my support and I am giving it to you."

Olivia finally opened her eyes. "It's gonna be hard…for both of us…but I'm gonna try my best to get in and out of there and get it done so that I can come back home." Her voice shook.

Alex nodded, feeling her eyes fill with tears. "I know."

"I go undercover Sunday evening, so I thought…we'd pack and get ready to go to Southampton, drive down there this weekend, spend a couple of days with your parents…and together…and then I have to report to home base."

"OK, Liv."

For Olivia's emotional sake, Alex decided to keep her comments to a minimum. Her wife told her what was happening and now it was time for the blonde to process this.

Who knew how long Olivia would be gone? A week? Two? A month?

She didn't feel much at the moment in the way of anything she could pinpoint. Her mind was spinning with so many questions, and yet she had none. Perhaps that would change over the next few days before her wife had to leave.

God, she wanted to be supportive, but there was a tiny nagging in the base of her skull that wanted to yell and scream, and cry, and plead for the brunette to ask Cragen if another detective could handle it.

But for now, she wanted to support Olivia, no matter how badly she wished she didn't have to do this in the first place.

"Have you met this woman you're working with?" Alex asked, having thought this question, but not having realized it had come out.

Olivia shook her head. "I only know her name and that she's an agent with the DEA. We meet Sunday."

Alex nodded. "You'll be in Easthampton?"

Olivia said softly, "Yeah…"

Alex managed a meager smile. "Just a hop, skip, and a jump from Southampton, Babe."

Olivia's face turned serious again. "But we can't…you know I can't…"

Alex took her wife's hands onto her own lap. "I know, Babe. You don't have to tell me. No contact. I get it." Alex licked her lips, just watching the conflict on her wife's face. She smiled fully then. "You know you have my support, Liv. I don't like it at all, but you have my support."

Olivia nodded, her eyes tearing again. "Thanks, Al."

"Just come back. Don't enjoy the Easthampton life so much with your new wife that we never see you again."

Olivia's brow furrowed in confusion now, her eyes filling with more tears and she gasped. "Alex…don't even think that…"

"I'm kidding, Liv…"

"Well, I'm not." Her lower lip quavered once more and she swallowed. "And that's not funny, Al."

They looked at each other for a few moments longer.

"Ready to go upstairs?" Alex reached out and wiped a tear from Olivia's left cheek.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, Al. Let's go."

10:22 p.m.

A lone cricket somewhere close.

The sound of her wife rolling over onto her right side to face her.

Then the feeling of Alex pressing the front of her body to her left side, her head on her shoulder, her breath against her neck.

Delicate fingers tracing the brunette's right nipple, Olivia moaning ever-so-slightly from the delicateness, feeling it strain against the thin fabric of her chemise instantly before Alex clasped it firmly.

"I love you, Liv…" she whispered against her neck before placing a soft kiss there. Her hand then slid down to clutch her waist firmly.

"I love you, too, Alex. Always," Olivia answered in a whisper.

And their bodies succumbed to sleep. The evening had been emotional, even more so for the brunette with the past couple of days of withholding information, .

All Olivia knew was that she desperately wanted to enjoy the remaining four-and-a-half days with her wife and children before she had to leave.

And she hoped that her wife's often overactive mind would allow that to happen.

A/N: Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed. One or two words would mean a lot! What do YOU think will happen?