Chapter 10

11:47 p.m.

Alex awoke with a start, gasping. She sat up in bed and looked around, listening to her three babies in their cribs, sleeping soundly. She lay back down and closed her eyes, trying to go back to sleep, but then promptly opened them, thinking.

Something was wrong.

Something was going on somewhere. Her unwanted sixth sense told her this.

Was her wife OK?

Did she need her in some way?

Alex reached to her left to her iPhone to check for anything, a text, a voicemail, but she found nothing.

She brought her phone to her stomach and lay back down.

She knew that Olivia had the mastermind, the wherewithal, to complete this case. But she also knew of her wife's state.

And Alex had been the reason for her conflicting emotions.

Had the blonde not been so vocal, so outwardly adamant about her staying and not going undercover, then Olivia most likely would have simply gone and done her job, no questions asked.

But Alex hadn't been good at hiding her feelings.

She had tried so hard to pretend that it was OK, that it didn't matter, that she understood. But she had let her feelings come out full force and Olivia had reacted.

How could she not?

She sat up again, sweeping the covers to the side and placing her feet on the floor. Standing, she moved to grab her robe from the foot of the bed and then tied it before taking the two monitors from the bedside table and placing one in each pocket. Peering in at her sleeping children again, she smiled, readjusting the blanket back onto Isabel's sleeping form, and making her way out of the room.

She would warm up a mug of soymilk and then maybe watch a little TV. That always seemed to help her in instances like this.

She opened her door and exited, ready to head upstairs and complete a nightly ritual she had done on many evenings that her wife had been absent.

12:08 p.m.

"I think I need to get some sleep," Antonia said, smiling.

"Yeah…me, too..." Olivia lifted her upper body from the sofa now and stood, letting out a stretch and a few pops to go with it.

They left the lights on and, as they were making their way up the spiral staircase, Olivia noticed a camera that was on the ascension, pointed into the living area. She wondered if there was sound, as well.

She now knew that her partner found her attractive. She now knew that Antonia Libretti was young and pretty much, as they say, free as a bird. That the perky agent had absolutely nothing to lose.

But Olivia did.

She had a lot to lose.

Did the younger woman realize this?

They made their way to the top of the staircase and moved down the hallway, entering the expansive bedroom, Olivia previously having every intention of not sleeping in that same bed. She stopped at the side closest to the window and began peeling her jeans from her body, sliding them down, looking around for cameras. She thought she spotted two, one in a large potted plant in the corner and one just above the sliding blinds that led to the sliding door.

They were being watched. Maybe not constantly, or second-by-second. But they definitely had an audience.

And how was this a surprise to the brunette? She didn't know.

She removed her jeans fully now, stepping out of them, and watched as Tony exited the bathroom in a short, silk robe. She watched as the younger agent disrobed next to her side, revealing a simple, black negligee, and climbed into bed.

Olivia swallowed hard then, lifting her t-shirt over her head, and moving to the pillow where she had already stored her satin, black top and bottom pajama set for later use. Slipping them on quickly, she lifted the covers, watching as the bedroom lights were extinguished, and then she crawled into bed, moving to her own side, and facing away from the younger woman. She held the covers up to her chin and looked out of the parted blinds at the moonlight hovering over the ocean.

She needed to call her wife.

She desperately wanted to talk to her and tell her what was going on, what she was feeling.

She would wait until Tony fell asleep.

Then she would slip out, with her personal iPhone, and call Alex.

She had a plan.

She just hoped it would go accordingly.

12:37 p.m.

Alex sipped on the warm mixture she had made, as she stood on the balcony of the beach house, elbows on the wooden railing, thinking. It wasn't the typical Rasta latte that she and her wife had invented so early on in their relationship, in their pregnancies, but it would do.

She had found some cinnamon, clove, and ginger, and added some honey to the mixture, but somehow it didn't taste at all like the drink that she had concocted for her wife in those early months of pregnancy at the beginning of their marriage.

But this didn't surprise her.

Nothing seemed to be the same when her wife wasn't present.

The ocean didn't sound as soothing to her. Her mother's actions, and the random things she said, weren't as funny. Usually, in the past, all didn't seem as amazingly wonderful unless her wife was there to share it with her.

As much as Alex hated to admit it, life was immensely different when Olivia wasn't around. It didn't have the same charm. The same warmth. The same love.

She lifted her mug to her mouth once again, listening to the open sliding door for her babies. But she heard nothing. They were sound asleep. Much calmer than she was.

And maybe that was a good thing.

She had thought that Theo and Isabel and Grace would notice her wife's absence. Perhaps even whine for it. But, it seemed, all was better than she thought it would be.

And she was more than grateful for that.

Her parents and Katie had, so far, been such a big help. Bath time had gone smoothly, even jovially. And the blonde had been happy to see grandparents and their beloved housekeeper laughing and smiling at she and Olivia's children, as they enjoyed their time together.

That was what it was all about, right?

She smiled, closing her eyes, as she thought of this fact.

She lifted her upper body from the railing and moved to the door, entering, and closing it behind her. Moving to look at her babies once more, she smiled, seeing that they were all sleeping, and then exited the room.

She walked down the hallway and moved into the study where the TV was. Situating herself on the length of the sofa, she set her almost empty mug on the coffee table and turned the TV on, leaning her head back onto the armrest. An episode of Remington Steele playing. God, that Pierce Brosnan is handsome, she thought. She yawned widely and moaned contentedly before she reached into her robe pockets and placed both monitors on her chest and closed her eyes, thinking about her wife and what she was facing at the moment.

1:27 p.m.

Olivia looked to her right.

Antonia was sleeping on her right side, still facing away from the brunette. She carefully and quietly lifted the covers from her body and then sat up, watching and waiting for the agent to awaken.

But she didn't.

She swung her feet to the floor, letting out a silent breath, and then stood.

She opened the bedside table next to her and lifted the clothing items she had stored there to cover what she had brought, before taking her personal iPhone from beneath, watching again for any movement from her fake wife.

But there was none.

She discreetly slipped the phone into the hip of her underwear before moving to grab the gray Balenciaga sweatshirt hoodie from the foot where she had laid it earlier.

Looking once more at the sleeping Antonia Berlusconi, Princess, cuddled up with her and only raising her little head momentarily. She headed out of the room and made her way to the staircase.

Once downstairs, she disarmed the alarm system, hearing the loud beeps and grimacing, waiting, until she heard no further movement, and then made her way to one of the sliding doors that led to the pool area and, in turn, would lead her to the beach.

Even if someone were to see her—the cameras or Tony—she was going on a nighttime walk. So what?

She needed to clear her head and now was as good a time as any.

Closing the door behind her, she ventured forth, past the pool area, and moved to the steps that would take her to the beach.

She walked, and walked and walked and walked, watching the ebb and flow of the nighttime waves as she did so. It was dark, the only light coming from the waxing gibbous moon that was shedding an ethereal glow on the other beach houses that were lined up along the shore.

Once she had surpassed at least ten houses, all spaced out with plenty of distance in between, she took her phone from the waistband of her hip and turned it on, the white screen with the black apple logo springing to life.

Finding a large piece of driftwood to sit on, she perched herself, waiting for the passcode screen to appear. At that instance, she took a deep breath and punched in her code, 0815—her wedding date—and her home screen lit up the night.

She took another deep breath.

Calling Alex would have the blonde startled, on edge, and she knew it. But something within her told her that she needed to talk to her wife right now.

She tapped the necessary buttons and the other end began ringing. One. Two. Three. Four.

"You have reached the voicemail of Alexandra Benson-Cabot. I am unable to take your call at present, please—"

And Olivia ended the call. Closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath. She opened them, watching the waves now, the black gloss of the sea, the white reflection of the moon. The air was warm but fresh. Salty but not humid. It was a beautiful evening.

Alex was probably sleeping or, another typical scenario, her phone was in another room. Lately, and since having kids, she had set it to an actual ringtone so that it could be heard over their oft loud, babbling babies. But perhaps she had it on silent once more and was actually sleeping.

Olivia held the phone in her hand again, looking down at her home screen, seeing that she had an unread text. She furrowed her brow and tapped on it and her eyes immediately began watering at the message.

It was a selfie of Alex and all three kids at the beach—their faces pink and scrunched from the sun but smiling and happy. Alex's grin was huge, that amazingly beautiful, perfect smile taking up most of the image.

She closed her eyes and held her phone to her chest, feeling her lower lip tremble now, missing all of her babies so immensely.

She would be sure to make that her background on her phone as soon as she could.

Opening her eyes again, she took another deep breath and was poised to call her wife once more when her own cell rung in her hand.

Alex

Slide to Answer

Olivia's mouth began to quaver without her consent again and she slid her thumb across the screen, immediately putting it to her ear. "Al?" Her voice was soft, almost inaudible.

"Liv?" Alex asked, slightly panicked.

Olivia smiled and laughed through her tears. "Yeah, it's me, Babe," she whined.

"Olivia, what is it?" Alex asked. "Is everything OK? Are you hurt?"

Olivia smiled again. "I'm OK, Al. I'm fine. Nothing to worry about. I just…"

Alex waited then, a patient silence passing through the line.

The brunette continued, "…I just miss you and I'm…were you sleeping? I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Did you not expect to, Olivia?" The smile in her wife's voice was evident.

"Of course, I knew I would. But I had to take that risk, Babe," Olivia smiled.

Alex continued, "I was sleeping in the TV room…"

Olivia smiled. "I knew it…"

Alex continued, "…and I didn't hear my phone…but I woke up to go to the bathroom and saw the screen glowing on my bedside table, like I had missed a call…and I looked and it was from you."

Olivia smiled sweetly. "Yeah, it's from me, Al," she said softly. "Just me…"

"It's unethical for you to call me, Babe," Alex claimed softly.

"I don't care, Al." Olivia took a deep, cleansing breath. "It's all worth it…to hear your voice, hear your smile. Thanks for the text by the way. I love the photo."

"I knew you'd like that," Alex offered.

"But you should've pointed the phone a little further down with that sexy bathing suit." Olivia began giggling.

"Oh, yeah, my sex-crazed goddess and why, pray tell, might that be?" Alex questioned facetiously.

"You know why, Babe…" Olivia took another deep breath looking out across the water now, the waves almost calmer than compared to a few moments prior. "I was considering leaving…tomorrow…" Olivia waited.

Alex said nothing.

"Al? You still there?" Olivia furrowed her brow.

"I'm here." She heard her wife take a deep breath, as well. "As much as I'd love to tell you to do that…to come home tomorrow…I've thought about how you would be, Babe. How you would handle it if you backed out of something that, not only you would be one of the best at, but also something that those that admire you know, for certain, you can do expertly and efficiently."

Olivia only waited, listening, her eyes glazed over as she stared at the sand around her bare, plum-colored toenails oozing in and out of the tiny grains. "Yeah…" she said softly.

"Yeah…" Alex agreed, "…I've actually been thinking about that this evening…how my amazing detective is so good at what she does, that beautiful mind working nonstop, and how I know that you'll be coming back to me…to us…in no time…"

Olivia felt her eyes begin to water again and she swallowed. "I know, Babe…I know I can…but I miss you already…so much…and I am missing our precious babies…that's what hurts my heart the most right now." She sniffed.

"I know, Liv," Alex said softly. "So, what's the plan, Babe?"

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean, Al?"

"I mean, what's the plan? Usually when I make a plan, or you make a plan, it gets done. No questions asked. So, my love…what's the plan?" And she could hear her wife smiling once more.

"Ten days, Al," the brunette detective said softly.

"OK. Ten days. It'll be over, and you'll be back."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, Al…ten days."

"Promise?"

Olivia smiled again. "I promise. I will have this closed in ten days and will be back there in Southampton…back to you and our babies."

"And Bill and Cathy and Katie…" Alex added, giggling.

"And Bill and Cathy and Katie." Olivia smiled. "Who could forget them?"

"I love you, Liv…"

"I love you more, Al…" Olivia whispered.

"Never more, Liv."

"And I'm gonna call you again."

"I know you will, Babe. Just don't get caught…please…"

A moment passed between them now.

"Hey…" Alex began, "…where did you even hide your phone?"

Olivia cleared her throat facetiously.

"Olivia…" Alex warned.

Olivia giggled. "I duct taped it to my right inner thigh…upper inner thigh…"

"Ouch." Alex managed through her laughter.

"Yeah, the red welt and raw skin there isn't happy. But it should heal soon…" Olivia offered.

"OK, Liv…" Alex said softly. "I wish I could kiss it and make it better…"

"You will…soon…"

"When, again?" Alex asked.

"Ten days."

"I'll be waiting, Liv…go do this…and…Babe?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you again…" Alex said sweetly.

"I love you more, Al…"

"Never more…"

And the call disconnected.

Olivia placed it face down on the top of her right thigh and took a deep breath, closing her eyes.

She could do this.

Her wife had just given her a renewed confidence. She could do anything if she had her wife's support and, right now, Alex was giving it to her.

Ten days was the goal. She knew it and now, her wife knew it.

The phone slid off of the brunette's leg, down her inner thigh and onto the sand.

"Olivia?" a voice said from behind her. "What are you doing out here?"

The brunette stood quickly, kicking sand over the fallen device, burying it with her foot, and pulling the strings on her gray hoodie downward. She turned to find Antonia standing there, a gray, velour tracksuit on. "Just taking a walk." She smiled.

"Uh…just letting you know…your Captain just called. He wants you to call him as soon as possible."

Olivia felt her expression drop, her heart plummet into her stomach and then begin beating violently against her abdomen, knowing that whatever Captain Cragen needed or had to tell her, had the strong likelihood of not being good.

A/N: Thank you for the reviews and kind words. Thank you for reading and to those who gave your input. I appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed and, as always, I would love to hear from you!