(Shihouin estate)
The noble clan estate of the Shihouin family was peaceful as it was a calm night and fall was in season a favorite season to a certain purple haired heiress
No one knew that history was taking place as this night was one to be remembered for the ages as it was the beginning of the life of a certain hero
"You're dead you understand me Kisuke I will rip off your genitals and use your balls as a cat toy!" Yoruichi said yelling in pain as she was in the midst of labor squeezing Kisuke's hand basically breaking every bone in it
Kisuke Urahara for all his intense genius even at an early age like theirs was feeling like an idiot for not using a condom or any protection when he slept with his best friend
Yoruichi breathed fast and heavy as she gave birth and even as she was in more pain than she ever knew was possible she felt her heart ache in joy 'I'm having a baby' she thought in pure joy before she screamed
(2 hours later)
Yoruichi fawned over the small bundle she cradled in her arms 'you're so precious' she thought as she pet his whisker marks 'he's adorable' she thought never seeing anything so cute and was soon proven wrong as he purred 'my baby' she thought hugging him gently 'my little Naruto' she thought with a smile as she looked at her nicely tan baby with blonde spiky hair and sapphire blue eyes with a golden amber center similar to her own
As this happened Kisuke laid on the floor bloody with broken bones and his genitals very bruised as even after birth Yoruichi's legs never failed her and her being a mother made her even extra scary
"My manhood my body" Kisuke whined in pain
"Oh be a man and come say hello to your son" Yoruichi said
(Fon estate)
"A new heir has been born" an elder wearing a ninja garb said to another ninja
"Then lady Yoruichi doesn't need this one as her right hand" the ninja said as the Fon family had a tradition of serving the Shihouin family usually assigning a member to serve under an heir or current head
"We can have Soi Fon serve the head when she is old enough but have her watch over the current heir" an elder said as they were the same age
(few days later)
'So innocent' Yoruichi thought never thinking something so pure existed in the world
The baby was looking around and as he did he grew tired and saw an animal running through his mind
(few minutes later)
"AHHHHHH!" Yoruichi screamed loudly
"What what happened?" Kisuke said as he came rushing out along with some guards
"I have failed as a mother!" Yoruichi yelled
"Is Naruto ok?" Kisuke said as she was holding him close
"NO" Yoruichi said in tears "he's a dog" she said showing them a fox kit
"Technically he's a fox" Kisuke said
The kit looked at them with big eyes and yipped Kit Naruto saw his tail and chased it around before falling on the third run around
"My baby is a dog" Yoruichi said as she cried falling to her knees
The kit sneezed and in its place was Naruto again
"Hmm it seems he's inherited your ability to change, but into a fox and not a cat." Kisuke said looking him over
"I blame you!" Yoruichi yelled pointing at Kisuke "this has to be your fault he should be an adorable kitten not some dog" she said in anger
Naruto blew a raspberry at his dad making Yoruichi laugh
"Well fox's are known to be very spiritual" Kisuke said trying to calm his wife down
"Listen to me carefully no matter what I want you to take a pound of his flesh use those claws and fangs and rip him apart" Yoruichi said as he transformed again and nibbled at Kisuke's ankle
"Um… ow?" Kisuke said as the kit barked in victory before jumping to Yoruichi's arms
Naruto then yawned and patted Yoruichi on the head with a paw
"The fact he can do this a mere few days old, he's going to be one strong soul reaper one day." Yoruichi said nuzzling the kit Naruto
"Central 46 will probably try to set up marriages for him" Kisuke said thoughtfully
"They don't get the right until I give them the green light" Yoruichi said as she had a fierce glare that soon turned flat "and…..he's peeing on me" she said as the fox kit had a face that seemed a bit too relaxed
Kisuke covered his mouth to cover his laughter
"Oh laugh it up hat head." Yoruichi said with a light pout
"Oh you love us anyway" Kisuke said
"True." Yoruichi said
"Besides, be glad it ain't shit." Kisuke said
"Don't even think about it" Yoruichi said looking at her son who looked at her and the staring contest began on if he'd do anything else
"Hope he takes after me and not you" Kisuke said as if this was Yoruichi he'd be sure she'd have done it as an infant for a good laugh or spite….or just because she could
"Dang it, you made me blink." Yoruichi said as the kit howled in victory
(few decades later)
"Let me get this straight you either stole, vandalized, did graffiti, dyed clothing pink, and let me see if I got this right put laxatives in all the food of most if not all divisions" Yoruichi asked her son
"Yep." Naruto said with a big grin on his face sounding proud of his mischief
"I'm so proud" Yoruichi said as she hugged him with tears in her eyes and even more when he showed her a picture of Byakuya 'hello blackmail' she thought to herself with a fiendish grin
"Clearly he got your mischievous streak." Kisuke said as he was so glad he was well informed
"He's the perfect mix of both of us, both of our skills in one handsome little guy." Yoruichi said
"i see you didn't prank squad four" Kisuke said
"What do I look insane to you? Auntie Unohana would skin me alive" Naruto said as he was not gonna piss that woman off as she scarred him straight
"Well at least he has my brains." Kisuke said as he was smart to predict the outcome
"Speaking of aunts we have a certain Shiba to see" Yoruichi said to her son
"Auntie Kukaku!" Naruto said in joy
"Try to limit the sweets she gives him this time" Kisuke said with a smile
"I have no idea what you mean." Yoruichi said with a mischievous cat like smile
"Last time he was literally bouncing off the walls with his little sugar rush." Kisuke said as Yoruichi had a sweet tooth and so did Naruto
"I want ramen!" Naruto yelled
"You had to give him some of that, now he can't stop eating it." Kisuke said as he was amazed his little body could handle so much
"It was your idea, not mine." Yoruichi said
"...and he's gone." Kisuke said looking down and didn't see Naruto
"I gotta put a bell on him" Yoruichi said as she left to go find Naruto as she had to admit he kept her on her toes
(1 hour later)
"Hey Yoruichi you're here and ya brought the runt I see." Kūkaku Shiba laughed as Yoruichi walked into her friend's home holding her son's hand.
"Auntie Kūkaku!" Naruto shouted rushing to his surrogate aunt embracing her in a tight hug
"So how are things going? I can't help but notice things are quiet around. Ganju off causing some problems." Yoruichi joked
"Yeah, with Kaien's new job as lieutenant of Squad 13 and isshin off doing his own thing he's felt pretty lonely." Kūkaku said, rubbing Naruto's head.
"Speaking of Isshin...still single?" Yoruichi asked
"That goofball I doubt he'll ever get tied down." Kūkaku said with a chuckle.
"That's for sure, he still having trouble seeing girls naked?" Yoruichi asked as it was a funny thing to watch
"Yeah! I walked in one time bare ass and he screamed like a little girl!" Kūkaku laughed as she saw him ran but naked around the estate
"Oh yeah I remember that, poor kid needs to learn to break loose sometimes." Yoruichi laughed
"Hey brat try some chocolate I swiped from the living world" Kukaku said with a smile handing Naruto a giant chocolate bar
"Ah yeah!" Naruto said taking it
"They make them that big now?" Yoruichi asked
"You have no idea how hard it is to make a joke about that." Kukaku said
"CHOCOLATE!" Naruto yelled manically after one bite of the candy bar
"Oh boy." Yoruichi muttered as Naruto turned into a kit and ran around rapidly
(50 years later)
Yoruichi was sitting in thought looking at her resting son who looked 15 years old by regular standards, she recently became captain of squad 2 and knew she'd be getting a lieutenant from the Fon family as she knew very well that it was gonna be someone meant to work with her and watch her son as her family and that family all but made up squad 2 with a few exceptions of some brave souls willing to join the squad 'guess Naruto should meet his future stalker' she thought chuckling a little
(week later)
"This is kinda erie" Naruto said as the Fon estate was weirdly quiet and he barely saw anyone making any sound that was more than necessary
"You can say that again." Yoruichi muttered as she liked quiet and stealth but to live in it was very off putting
"Ninja!" Naruto said as he put his shirt over his mouth and struck a ninja pose
Yoruichi snorted at this and smiled "You are so goofy my little kit" she said
"Mom don't call me that" Naruto said
"Well I can't call you kitten as you're a fox and not a cat." Yoruichi said as she got over him being a fox
"So why are we here, besides getting bored?" Naruto asked
"Meeting with the clan head" Yoruichi said to him as they were bowed to whenever they passed someone
"I hate clan business, it's so boring." Naruto said as he dealt with Byakuya with his mother and it was so boring
"Yeah I know how you feel." his mother said as she felt the same way as her son
"I think they are gonna assign someone to guard you" Yoruichi said
"Is she hot? Ow!" Naruto asked jokingly having developed a similar humor to his mother
"Careful" Yoruichi said as it wasn't a joking matter with some clans as she flicked Naruto on the head
They soon met with the clan head and after all the formalities even the extra ones by the Fon leader they got to business
"We wish to establish a marriage between your son and our daughter." the head of the clan said
"What?!" Naruto said as he coughed on his own spit "hell no I marry someone I do it on my terms" he said to him
Yoruichi smiled as she did a similar speech to her parents and Byakuya had the same thing when he married his wife
"I figured that would be your answer so how about you at least meet my daughter since she's also assigned to be your guard" the clan head said leaving for a moment
"Is it wrong I wanna punch him in his damn throat" Naruto said to his mother
"No, many clan meetings make me want to do that to people" Yoruichi said to him as it was always either ass kissing or a superiority complex
"Ok I'm bailing" Naruto said as he got up to leave
Yoruichi really hoped he'd come back before the others get back
The door then opened and the clan head was there with a girl around Naruto's age
"Oh um hello" Soi Fon said giving him a polite bow while having a blush on her face
"You're short." Naruto said bluntly and in the span of 5 seconds she punched him in the face screaming
"I am at a perfectly good height for someone my age!" Soi Fon said blushing brightly
"Soi Fon" the elder said glaring at her
Everyone stopped what they were doing as Naruto was laughing
"Oh man I can't believe you sucker punched me oh man that was great" Naruto said as he got up
"You're a fast little bee." Yoruichi said with a laugh as she was impressed someone from this family had the stones to do that
"Yea normally only my mom can hit me wanna spar?" Naruto said as it was an impressive feat "wanna go train" he said to her getting a quick nod "Let's go!" he said practically dragging her behind him as he shot out of the house
"I think they'll be fine" Yoruichi said with a smile before a boom was soon heard "your grounds on the other hand not so much" she said to the elder
"Well they will start the academy together so hopefully they calm down a bit" the elder said
"Don't get your hopes up buddy." Yoruichi muttered
(a few months later)
Naruto and soi fon were running towards the academy for their first day
"I told you we should have left early lord Naruto" Soi Fon said as she ran behind him
"Not my fault I got hungry, bumblebee." Naruto said with a bright smile "And don't call me lord" he quickly added
"I am not a bumblebee." Soi Fon grumbled
"Please, you're sweet, fast and… have a rather freaky love of honey." Naruto said as whenever she had tea, milk, or even certain meats she'd have the honey variety
"I am not sweet" Soi Fon said flatly
"Well you have a sweet ass-Ow!" Naruto yelled as Soi Fon slapped him in the back of his head with a hot blush on her face
'L-lord Naruto lusts for me!' Soi Fon thought as she had many fantasies in the span of 2 seconds
(1 week later)
"I can't believe you unlocked your zanpakuto and you have two" Soi Fon said to Naruto as they walked the halls
"Yea now I'm part of the twin sword club like those two captains Naruto said with a smile as he loved being unique
"You were so cool!" a female voice said to him
The two turned around to see a orange haired girl running back to them
Soi Fon immediately hated her as she saw her chest and looked at her own and felt inadequate
"Your hair is orange… hot." Naruto said with a smile not seeing the anger burning in Soi Fon's eyes
"Well aren't you a sweet talker you wanna buy me lunch cutie?" the woman asked
"Nope" Naruto said with a smirk denying her as Soi Fon internally cheered
"Awwww why not?" the woman asked pouting cutely
"Easy I'm not easy" Naruto said
"Aww." the woman said to him
"Besides, she clearly doesn't like you and probably won't let me go with you." Naruto said gesturing to Soi Fon
"How can she hate me? we just met." the woman said pouting
"Your breasts are bigger than hers and she's kinda self-" Naruto was saying before Soi Fon hit him on the head sending him crashing to the floor
"There's no shame in that you look great anyway, flaunt what you got!" the woman said to Soi Fon encouragingly
"And I don't even know who you are." Naruto said as he got up
"Name's Rangiku Matsumoto." she said with a smile
"Name's Naruto Shihoin, this sweet bee is Soi Fon." Naruto said as he smiled despite the dirty look Soi Fon sent him
"Awww you have a pet name for her that's so cute!" Rangeku said with a smile at them
"Well when you're sweet, fast and have a rather freaky love of honey it's clear you're a bee." Naruto said to her
"I am not sweet" Soi Fon said flatly in denial
"Tell that to my mom." Naruto said to her with a smile as she backed off "So Rangiku wanna join us for lunch?" he asked
"Oooo a future clan head asking me to eat with him" Rangiku said as she hugged Naruto's arm
"Well technically clans but I don't think my dad's clan is much…. If he even has one" Naruto said as he could've sworn his dad had a few people he watched
"Don't hug on my lord floozy" Soi Fon said as she glared at her with a passion
"Jealous?" Rangiku said teasingly
"She is. She's kinda possessive." Naruto said bluntly
"I am not!" Soi Fon said
"Then maybe I should go out with Rangiku she's definitely my type" Naruto said
Rangiku squealed In excitement at this
"No!" Soi Fon said pulling Naruto close before blushing realizing what she did
"Knew you liked me" Naruto said with a smirk
"S-shut up!" Soi Fon said as they all went to go eat
"Definitely the jealous type." Rangiku said
"Quiet you!" Soi Fon yelled
Unknown to them a smiling silver haired person was watching from afar before he walked off
(few days later)
"Hey Shinji" Naruto said as he was pulled out of class
"Hey brat" Shinji said with a smile
"Still got that awful hair style I see." Naruto said seeing Shinji's bob cut
"Shut up I rock this" Shinji said brushing his blonde hair back
"You look like you should be running around in a green jumpsuit." Naruto said with a chuckle
"Anyway I have an offer for you" Shinji said
"Shoot" Naruto said to him simply
"You have caught the attention of some people mainly the head captain and some of the other captains" Shinji said as Naruto had been inside the seireitei many times and knew a lot of people
"Eh Aizen, I can't stand that guy, he always looks like he's up to some shit." Naruto said as Aizen looked like the definition of shady
"Forget my clearly confused and dumb lieutenant" Shinji said quickly "back in the old days certain captains could take on apprentices hell the old man did it when he took Jushiro and Shunsui" he said to him
"And you're saying one of them wants to train me?" Naruto asked, raising a brow "it's not Unohana is it? she screams crazy" he said with a shiver
"No thank god" Shunsui said to him as Unohana was a death sentence on legs if someone pissed her off
"It's not gramps is it?" Naruto asked
"No, it's me!" Shinji said annoyed that Naruto didn't say him yet
"Oh cool i could do worse" Naruto said to him
"Your mother picked Soi Fon and Rangiku just so you know" Shinji said to him
"Eh, she always did like bumblebee. And she probably wants to tease Rangiku about liking me" Naruto said
"Considering her thing with honey shouldn't you call her honey bee?" Shinji asked hearing of Soi Fon's honey addiction
"Called her that once she kicked me in the nuts" Naruto said wincing
"At least she didn't jab you down there, probably wouldn't have a manhood for long." Shinji said
"So let's start training already come at me old man!" Naruto said
Shinji smiled at this and cracked his knuckles
(a hour later at squad 4)
"I swear you just get hurt so you can come see me." Isane said with a frown as Naruto was carried in by Shinji
"That's just a coincidence if anything it's a perk" Naruto groaned
"Be quiet and sit still." Isane said with a blush on her face
"Keep him as long as you want, I could use a nap." Shinji said as he left
"You know young man if you wanted a date with my lieutenant you should ask and stop distracting her" Unohana said as she entered the room
"I don't think Soi Fon would let me get the words out." Naruto said with a chuckle before groaning
"Wait, you actually like me?" Isane asked with a blush
"Well you're kind, gentle, and well got a killer bod." Naruto said before Unohana hit him on the head
"Y-you don't mind that I'm taller than other girls?" Isane asked as her height put many if not all guys off
"Well it kinda makes you the one to get more attention, ow!" Naruto said receiving another hit from Unohana "But seriously no I don't really care if your tall any guy that says that's a problem is a idiot" he said
Unohana nodded at this in approval of what Naruto said
"W-well if you want we can go out to eat when your healed" Isane said to him nervously
"Well heal me up nurse." Naruto said with a chuckle
Unohana smiled at this but whispered into Naruto's ear "Hurt her you're dead" and squeezed his shoulder hard hurting Naruto even as far to make a very audible cracking sound
"Y-yes mamm" Naruto said
Unohana left still smiling
"I don't know who's scarier her or spike head." Naruto said
"You gonna tell Soi Fon about us dating?" Isane asked as she healed Naruto
Naruto shivered at this "I stand corrected" he said as he had no clue how she would react
(with Soi Fon)
Soi Fon was training with Yoruichi and Rangiku when she felt something and glared
"Something wrong?" Yoruichi asked
"I have the urge to kill lord Naruto" Soi Fon said to them simply
"You're always like that when you see him with someone else." Rangiku said teasingly dodging a kick to her head
"I heard he was sent to squad 4 again" Yoruichi said with a knowing smirk
"No doubt to see Isane again" Rangiku said with her own teasing smile
"Damn big boobed nurse" Soi Fon growled
"Maybe if you quit this diet thing of yours you'd have a rack too." Rangiku said teasingly as she made hers bounce a little
"What's your diet?" Soi Fon asked plainly
"Ooooo you want a knockout body huh?" Yoruichi asked with a smile
"If I wanted one I'd ask you." Soi Fon said before blushing hearing what she just said
"Don't worry little bee I can train you to get the body you want" Yoruichi said with a smile as she put a arm around Soi Fon
Soi Fon blushed seeing her face so close to her teacher's breasts
(a few months later)
"Man this sucks I haven't seen my friends in a while since I started training with you" Naruto said to Shinji
"Not my problem." Shinji said
"I miss Soi Fon and Rangiku" Naruto whined
"Well sitting right here whining ain't gonna help." Shinji said
"I'll take that as a invite to go see them" Naruto said as he took off using shun po
"Hey! We aren't done!" Shinji yelled but Naruto was already gone "definitely his mother's son" he said to himself
Naruto jumped from roof to roof on his way to his family's compound knowing that his mom preferred training the girls there
"Come on keep eating!" he heard Rangiku yell as he landed on the backyard
"What's going on?" Naruto asked seeing Soi Fon eating some meat buns
"Um nothing" Soi Fon said after swallowing
"Carbo loading" Yoruichi said as they all ate what was practically a meal
"Why?" Naruto asked curiously
"She wants a body like mine or Rangiku's" Yoruichi said
Naruto frowned at this and looked at Soi Fon who blushed "I don't want you making yourself sick just to get a body you think I will like."
"Well you pay so much attention to Isane and Rangiku, I thought if I had a body like that you'd pay attention to me more." Soi Fon said
"You stop thinking like that I love you as is" Naruto said
Soi Fon froze hearing this
"Yeah you're my little Sweet Bee, you don't need to change." Naruto said as he kissed her cheek and soon she was on the floor with a bright blush as she passed out
"Poor honey bee, she wasn't ready." Yoruichi said laughing at the sight of young love
(1 month later)
"I'm gonna fucking kill Shinji" Naruto said dodging another blade strike from Kenpachi
"Quit complaining whiskers." Kenpachi said as he kept striking at Naruto
"Quit trying to kill me, spike head." Naruto said
"If I don't come at you with the intent to kill, how else will you learn?" Kenpachi asked with a grin
Naruto brought his blades up and blocked an attack
(flashback)
Naruto looked around himself to find himself in a forest "Okay what now?" he said wondering how he got here
"This is just sad." a voice said to him
Naruto whipped around trying to find the source of the deep voice but couldn't find it
"Are you my zanpakuto?" Naruto asked still looking for the source of the voice
"Well at least your not completely stupid" the voice said in slight annoyance
"Hey." Naruto said sounding insulted
"You have abilities like no other and yet here you are wasting time taking your slow ass time" the voice said
"Hey I'm doing my best here." Naruto said as he was never one for meditation and sitting still
"This may be a practice but it's still a challenge and I refuse to look weak because my user is a dumbass!" the voice roared out
"So you'll help?" Naruto asked curiously
"Don't blame me when something goes wrong, as all I want to do is go wild." the voice said bordely
Naruto turned around and saw himself standing before a massive multi tailed fox
"Woah" Naruto said his eyes widening in surprise
The fox smirked as he looked down at Naruto "Glad I'm impressive to you brat."
"Wait, are you why I'm able to turn into a fox?" Naruto asked curiously
"Yup fox's are way better than cats" the fox said pride in his voice
"How do you know?" Naruto asked curiously
"We just are" the fox said as he smirked as foxes were superior in his mind
"Well for now I should focus on this fight so let's do this" Naruto said with a smirk
the fox had his own smirk "Ok kid remember my name its-"
(end of flashback back at the fight)
"Bring forth the Apocalypse...Kurama" Naruto said as his swords shined a bright light and one sword took a flame like appearance and the other sword while unchanged had a small wind around him
"What the?" Kenpachi said in surprise
"Face the wrath of the ultimate beast rolled into one warrior." Naruto said as he took a stance
"Ultimate beast huh" Kempachi said licking his lips hungrily his bloodlust climbing "lets see how you fight" he said as they charged
'Focus and strike you have every damn element to command wait for the right moment and strike he is an animal on instinct alone he is going for the kill you need to do the same' Kurama said to him
Naruto swung his blades and when he did he unleashed a massive gust of wind that pushed Kenpachi back the mad captain grinned as he came at Naruto.
"Nice one brat!" Kenpachi laughed as he brought down the sword causing sparks to fly from the force of the impact as Kenpachi tried to push Naruto back.
"Do me a favor and take this!" Naruto said seeing a connection when his blade was in the 'X' position as he clashed with Kenpachi "burn" he said using the wind from his sword to increase the flames of his second
Kenpachi's eyes widened as he got blasted back by a tornado of flames
"That's the best you got a little heat!" Kenpachi laughed swinging at Naruto who jumped into the air avoiding the swing.
Naruto's arms jerked as one blade turned blue with black markings and the other glowed red as blue flames and lava shot at Kenpachi who quickly dodged it.
"Watch the houses!" Kenpachi said seeing the attacks nearly hit the nearby houses
"It's not me you pissed him off." Naruto said as his arms were going all over the place
"Stop this now!" a voice yelled out
"Oh great the fun police" Kenpachi said rolling his only visible eye
"Oh hey old man" Naruto said as he holstered his zanpakutos into his sheath
Or at least tried to as Kurama pointed himself at the head captain
"Come on, calm down!" Naruto said trying to get Kurama under control
"Allow me Naruto." Yamamoto said as he unleashed a small surge of his spiritual pressure causing Kurama to tremble a bit as he fell small by comparison as he looked upon Yamamoto who seemed to have become a massive pillar of flames.
Naruto then felt his arms get heavy as Kurama's blades dropped to the ground "Not again." he said
"Quite a bloodthirsty zanpakuto I assume you learned his name?" Yamamoto asked Naruto
"Yes about a week ago, but every time he's unleashed all he wants to do is run wild, especially when he's insulted." Naruto said
"Never before have I heard of a multi elemented zanpakuto, a singular one like mine of course. Yours is quite special once tamed."Yamamoto said
"Thanks old man" Naruto said with a smile
"May I know your zanpakuto's name?" Yamamoto asked
"Kurama." Naruto said
Yamamoto paused at this Ah it seems the zanpakuto spirit that the spirit king said to keep a eye out for is here after so long he thought in interest
"It's gonna take a long time to tame this guy." Naruto said
"Every zanpakuto can be tamed, after all if I can tame fire you can tame this." Yamamoto said as he walked away
"Hey brat wanna join my squad?" Kenpachi asked with a mad grin
"Not in a million years meathead" Naruto said as he liked training but not every waking moment of the day
"Ah come on." Kenpachi said with a scowl
"Not even if your little pink haired friend begged." Naruto said as he had met Yachiru and often bribed her with candy
"Plus I'd murder you if you did" Yoruichi said making her presence known
"And how long have you been there?" Naruto asked curiously
"Since the train wreck of an element burst." His mother said
"Don't rub it in." Naruto said to his mom
"You need more discipline before you can use that thing effectively" Yoruichi said to Naruto
"I'm taking advice on discipline from you- ow! ow! ow!" Naruto yelled out as Yoruichi grabbed him by his ear
"He does have a point." Kenpachi said with a chuckle
"You want some of this?!" Yoruichi yelled
"Nah I know better then to get between a mother and her kid" Kenpachi said as he was a bloodthirsty psychopath but he was not insane
"Besides, aren't you already taken?" Naruto said chuckling but yelling out as Yoruichi tugged on his ear again
"Keep up with that mouth and I'll be sending you off to your uncle." Yoruichi said to him
"No not Uncle Yushiro he's so boring" Naruto said as he sighed
"Then get moving mister!" Yoruichi yelled as she enjoyed one of the many perks of motherhood
"Better you than me pal!" Kenpachi said as this was something he was glad to walk away from
"Shut it you, you don't even have a lady friend!" Naruto yelled
"I know." Kenpachi said as he hung his head
(few days later)
Naruto was at his favorite ramen stand working on his 12th bowl of ramen
"Hey Naruto!" Rangiku yelled out getting his attention
"Hey there kitty cat." Naruto said as he put his bowl down
"You gonna keep calling me that?" Rangiku asked as Naruto kept calling her that since she learned her zanpakuto's name
"Yep" Naruto said tapping her nose
"He's cut off" Rangiku said to the waiter who came and got Naruto's bowl
The waiter nodded as he left not wanting to serve a bottomless pit
"Hey! I was getting my second wind!" Naruto yelled
"You owe me lunch since I passed my test at the academy and I don't want ramen now, come on mister!" Rangiku said yanking him practically dragging him behind her
'Damn if she wasn't so hot' Naruto thought as Rangiku dragged him towards a store "Oh come on you want me to buy you candy?" he asked as this woman had an insatiable sweet tooth
"You know dried persimmon is my favorite" Rangiku said with a smile
"I thought you liked pork best" Naruto said
"for a meal yes but I want something sweet" Rangiku said
"OK ok let's go spoil you" Naruto said as he shook his head as him and Rangiku entered the store
(few hours later)
"And you call me a food vacuum." Naruto said as she was eating the dried pieces of fruit like crazy
"Hey I worked hard for this plus you know it won't affect my sexy body" Rangiku said with a smile as she struck a pose
"I don't know your ass is getting bigger" Naruto said with a teasing smirk
Naruto then grunted as he got slapped
"Hey I didn't say that was bad" Naruto said
"Guess this is stress eating, I just learned my zanpakuto's name and she's a big bitch!" Rangiku said yelling in anger
"Oh I'm sure she's not that bad" Naruto said looking at the sword "trust me I know she's difficult but hey no friendship is easy it's give and take" he said both of them missing the faint glow of Rangiku's sword
"Say's the guy who's zanpakuto goes wild when you unleash it or when it gets insulted." Rangiku said
"Hey now, that's a little low blow." Naruto said as he was still trying to get Kurama to work with him
"Not if it's true" Rangiku said with a smile
"But I am also trying to connect with Kurama, it's like what gramps told me. Anyone can tame a zanpakuto, if he could tame fire I can tame Kurama." Naruto said
'Tsk good luck with that'Kurama's voice said as he cackled in amusement
'You don't know how stubborn I am' Naruto thought as his own mother said it was his best quality
"If I could switch with you I could." Rangiku said
"Yeah this guy is gonna give me a lot of headaches." Naruto said before one of Kurama's handles came up and smacked him on the face "My point shown." he said with a annoyed look on his face
(a few years later)
"What happened?" Naruto asked his mother as his father was arrested for experimenting on his friends
"A lot." Yoruichi said, getting dressed, "Stay put, I need to go rescue that idiot." she said to him
Naruto just stood still for a moment before letting out a sigh as he went to his mother's desk and began to write some letters "I am so gonna die" he said to himself knowing he was so very screwed and sealed the letters in envelopes
(few hours later)
"Naruto I should kill you" Yoruichi said as Naruto found her as she escaped central 46 and helped speed along the rescue
"Yeah yeah yeah tell that to the person who wasn't seen" Naruto said glad no one saw his face and that he was in the clear
"You shouldn't have left you still have a life" Yoruichi said as her life was over for rescuing her friends
"You're my family that all I need to know" Naruto said
Yoruichi paused at this and sighed as she was both monumentally proud of her son's spirit and loyalty and sad that it was because of her that he was here
"So where are we heading old man?" Naruto asked his father as they were in the senkaimon
"The human world." Kisuke said
"I'm not going to school" Naruto said with a chuckle
"Well at least here we can focus on training you" Yoruichi said as his training was incomplete still
(100 years later in the human world)
Unknown to the humans a great battle was taking place as two powerful hollows were attacking
Yoruichi was on call as she was sent to handle the two and when she arrived she saw the two about to attack a Quincy woman 'shit' she thought hating restrictions as she knew these were captain level arrancar and she didn't have full use of her powers
The two identical hollows looked at each other and smiled sinisterly before turning back to the woman who had a bow made of light aimed at them
'What kinda hollows are these' Yoruichi thought as they were both respectively one color white and black while their masks and areas of their holes was the opposites color
The hollow twins then locked arms before creating a ball of energy that they threw at the quincy woman
"Sorry to interrupt" Naruto said as he showed up rescuing the quincy woman at the last second
The twins tilted their heads before looking at each other and they smiled before cackling
Before anyone could move a giant blaze surrounded them
"Isshin" Naruto and Yoruichi said in surprise as they saw the man
"Been a while." Isshin said to them
"Less talking more fighting" Yoruichi said as she hit the hollow with the black mask
There was a loud boom as the hollow twins clapped their hands sending the blaze away
"Shit" Naruto said as they were powerful
Naruto grunted as the black one was suddenly in front of him growling before it… began to lick his face with a long tongue "Ahh this is so gross." he said as this was so gross "do me a favor ugly" he said ramming his fist in the circular black hole on it's stomach "fucking die already"
The Black hollow bit down on his shoulder as it began to expand from the spiritual energy
Yoruichi and Isshin watched as the quincy and Naruto blew up the hollows, but soon noticed something was off
'What the hell' everyone thought seeing the remains of the hollow Naruto killed began to move toward him and the remains on his person got absorbed through the skin
'What the hell' Naruto thought feeling this darkness inside of him and soon screamed in pain
"You are mine!" a loud voice inside his head
"You sure about that tiny?" Kurama said as Naruto's forest inside his mind began to wither slowly
"Naruto" Yoruichi said in fear as she ran to her child unable to help him seeing his eyes become hollow like
Naruto looked at his mother and before a word could be said he fell into the ground
Yoruichi had shed tears as her son had disappeared before her very eyes and wailed calling out his name
Isshin however got one guard as it seemed like the white one was reforming as soon as it's upper half was reformed it groaned before dropping
(with Naruto)
Naruto felt his head pounding and felt his vision blurred and very disoriented, he saw a couple of hollows approach him and he instinctively raised his hand and fire came out and burned them and the very ground turning it to glass and as he walked above the sand turned glass he saw his reflection and saw he still looked human but saw he had horns like the hollow he killed, his eyes were red and the white of his eye was black, he had a dark orange pigment that was spiky and trailed to the side of his nose, and a hole in the center of his chest with tattoos trailing around it, and around his neck was an animalistic jaw with sharp fangs
Naruto's hands reached up to the horns and tried to remove it but found it was stuck to his face, he was shocked "Is… this my face?" he said as he had to admit he didn't feel as panicked as he should "well at least I still have my good looks" he said making light of his situation
(1 week later)
"Surprised I'm not dead" Naruto said to himself as it had been a week and he had not eaten anything in so long 'but this hunger' he thought as he knew what he was feeling was the hollows primal hunger to consume other hollows or anything living, he had been slowly trying to figure out certain hollow abilities but he has only manifested a cero, slowly learning sodino, and his hierro was something that was natural and developed all on it's own
"I WANT RAMEN!" Naruto shouted out as it echoed through the desert
Suddenly a red burst of energy shot from his horns blasting into the sky
'I swear I need an instruction manual' Naruto thought as that happened on occasion even once when he sneezed "I hate this freaking desert!" he shouted getting tired of seeing nothing but rocks and sand
Naruto then felt a presence behind him and when he turned he saw what looked like a shark fin heading for him in the sand
Naruto then let out a roar causing the fin to stop in its tracks
"Who the fuck are you?!" Naruto yelled as he knew it had some intelligence as hollows fought mostly on instinct but they were capable of thought and developing their human emotions
A hollow that looked like a shark popped it's head out of the sand and looked at him "Vulgar mouth much?" it said in a female voice
"Well I'm hungry damn it! I want ramen!" Naruto yelled
"Isn't that a human food?" the shark asked curiously 'interesting he doesn't want to eat other hollows' she thoughtas that was….unheard of till her
"It's the food of the gods!" Naruto yelled
"What kind of Hollow are you?" She asked tilting her head slightly wondering if he was just an idiot
"The kind with an attitude" Naruto said to her
"I'm wasting my time, good day." the shark said as she turned to leave
"Big talk for someone who stopped their attack when I roared" Naruto said
"Those who talk too much tend to be weak, you simply spooked me." The shark said
"Then let's see who's stronger" Naruto said as he was really bored and was starting to understand how Kempachi felt
"I don't have time for this." the shark woman said flatly "is that all you care about? Fighting? You're as bad as that panther." the shark asked
"No no I like allies of mine to be strong" Naruto said as he heard of that hollow
"You are a strange horned monkey hollow." the shark said to him neutrality
"Thanks, wait hey who are you calling a monkey?" Naruto asked raising an eyebrow
"Monkey's have tails, or have you not noticed yours?" The shark said pointing to his tail
"I'm a fox damn it!" Naruto yelled as he saw he had a fox tail and was angry to be called a monkey even though he didn't look like one
"Well at least that's a predator now if you excuse me" the shark said as she floated away
"Wait! I'll go with you. I hate being alone!" Naruto yelled running after her
"What is your name?" The shark asked
"Naruto Shihouin" Naruto said to her
"May as well, my name is Tia Harribel" Tia said to him as they left 'at least he's entertaining'
"Huh that's a pretty name" Naruto said as he followed her
Tia blushed slightly as she felt that was a genuine compliment not directed or meant for another purpose as most males in Hueco Mundo.
(1 week later)
"Well not sure if this is better or worse" Naruto said as it had been a week of silence
"Compared to what?" Tia asked as she sat on the opposing side of a wall
"Where I was before" Naruto said as they had not spoken at all
"You seem to have no problem running your mouth I'm sure you'll entertain yourself or me with your stupidity" Tia said to him
"Are you gonna keep calling me stupid?" Naruto asked in annoyance
"Till you cease to be otherwise than yes" Tia said as Naruto actually laughed at that "Did I say something funny?" she asked
"Sorry sorry" Naruto said laughing a little "it's rare that I have someone to have a battle of wit with" Naruto said as it was a little funny
Tia chuckled at this "a battle of wits needs two opponents to be fun" she said as Naruto raised a brow
"Ha! good one" Naruto said as he had to hand it to her she was clever
"You do realize I just insulted you." Tia said
"Oh trust me I know and I've been called worse" Naruto said as his mother, Soi Fon, and Rangiku sneezed all at the same time
"Like what, a kit? Considering you seem to enjoy acting like one." Tia said referring to the term for foxes
"That's a compliment to me so thanks" Naruto said as it was what his mother called him
"You are a strange individual" Tia said as she never met someone so 'alive' in Hueco Mundo
"Yeah but at least I'm interesting right?" Naruto asked with a smile
Tia lightly smirked at this "True" she said glad her mask hid her smile
"Well I'm bored now." Naruto said as they just sat there trading insults and making jokes at the others expense
(2 weeks later)
"God, does this desert ever end?!" Naruto shouted as he looked and all he saw was god damn sand
"Who knows" Tia said as she often wondered if this world had water as it somehow grew trees
The two lightly jumped as suddenly a head popped out of the sand "Hello." the head said in a female voice
"Ah talking head!" Naruto said
"It's a snake genius" Tia said flatly looking at the polite hollow curiously wondering if she was new as no hollow gave up their presence easily
The snake hollow rose out of the sand make the two have to tilt their heads back to see it's whole body and soon saw her shaking as she looked at Naruto
"What I do" Naruto asked Tia who shrugged as it was weird
"Canines tend to eat snakes so she thinks you're going to eat her." Tia said as animal hollows tended to act like the animal they were similar to
"Ew I hate snake, too chewy." Naruto said jokingly seeing her shake even more
"You hate me?" the snake asked as she teared up
"It- it was a joke." Naruto said
"You know my life was much simpler before I met you" Tia said to Naruto
"Most people are." Naruto said as he brought the crazy
"We can't leave her here" Tia said to him
"Why not she's like the size of a bus." Naruto said as the snake was fairly large
"Not all hollows are lucky enough to have time to live and adapt she seems new to this" Tia said to him as hollows who first arrived here relied on one sole factor….luck
"My name is Cyan Sung-Sun, pleasure to meet you." Sung-Sun said introducing herself
"Cute name it fits your personality" Naruto said
Sung-Sun hid her face behind her tail as she had a small blush
"Let's keep moving." Tia said
"Feels like we've been going in an endless straight line." Naruto said as even when they turned it still felt like and endless void
(3 weeks later)
"I'm starting to miss you being afraid of me" Naruto said as Sung-Sun had her body wrapped around him as after overcoming her fear she greatly respected him and it soon turned to worship
"Why?" Sung-Sun asked raising her head
"Because I don't like the fact that you're all squeezed around me." Naruto said as he didn't hate it just hated that it was done as he slept
(next day)
"I think I'm starting to lose my mind." Naruto said to Tia
"That'd mean you'd have to have one to lose it." Tia said as Sung-Sun chuckled
"There literally is no end to this freaking desert! I wanna go home" Naruto said as he held his head down before he felt himself bump into something that shot into the air
It was revealed to be a hollow lion who turned to them growling "Who's the wise ass that just jabbed me in the butt?" it asked in a female voice
Tia pointed a fin at Naruto immediately selling him out
Naruto growled at Tia before getting slapped by the lion who used one of her paws "Ow." he said his voice muffled as his face was in the sand
"Perverted Fox." The lioness said to him
"Ha! see Tia I am a fox!" Naruto said as he got up
"I couldn't decide if you were a fox or a monkey." the lion said plainly
"Damn it!" Naruto said making Tia chuckle
"Hi! Who are you?" Sung-Sun asked the lioness
"Franceska Mila Rose." Mila Rose said
"Do all female hollows have pretty names?" Naruto asked the others who just nodded
"Don't try buttering me up after you poked my ass with your horns." Mila Rose said angrily
"I'm sorry about that. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" Naruto asked her not wanting to fight
"I'm hungry." Mila Rose said simply as she looked him over
"I'm not on the menu!" Naruto said scooting back behind Sung-Sun
"Your probably a weakling anyway" Mila Rose said
Naruto extended his hand and sent a massive cero in one direction causing a large boom
"Perhaps you are on the menu." Mila Rose said with a cheshire grin
"That's not the reaction I wanted!" Naruto said as he could easily kill her but entertainment was so hard to find and he had an idea and turned into his fox form but still had his hollow features
"Ahhhhhh a dog" Mila Rose said in fear
"Why am I always being called a different fucking animal" Naruto said
"And you're a lioness not a cat, you shouldn't be afraid of some canine." Tia said as this was pathetic 'Sung-sun I can understand but seriously' she thought to herself
"Come along." she said to Mila who followed them as she had nowhere else to go
(1 month later)
"This is adorable" Tia said mesmerizing this moment as Naruto had both Sung-Sun and Mila Rose sleeping over him
"No what this is is pissing me off… help me" Naruto said pleadingly
"Bet you wouldn't complain if they were human" Tia said sounding amused
"I wouldn't complain if they weren't so damn heavy" Naruto said as they were giants for their animals
"I'm fat?" Sung-Sun said sounding hurt
Naruto groaned, getting slapped by Mila Rose again. "Never talk to a woman about their weight asshole." she said
"Since when do hollows care?" Naruto asked rubbing his cheek
"I blame you for making us act more human" Tia said as she had to admit humanity wasn't bad
"Whatever, I just want to find a way out of this god forsaken litter box!" Naruto said as he kicked some sand before stubbing his toe on a rock "Mother fucker!" he yelled holding the foot making Mila Rose laugh at him
(few hours later)
The four stopped finding a deer hollow in the sand
"Dibs on the first bite." Mila Rose said jokingly as they didn't eat hollows
Naruto got in front of her to stop her just as the deers eyes opened to see them spooked seeing the four it jumped up kicking Naruto in the face
"You have the fastest reflexes I know. How did that hollow get the drop on you?" Tia asked as she kneeled down to Naruto
"I was appreciating nature" Naruto said as that deer looked very natural and he was slightly distracted
"You got whacked." Mila Rose said laughing
"If you're gonna eat me, know I won't go down without a fight." The deer said ready to defend herself
"I like you, you sound like a fighter" Naruto said with a smirk
"The kick I gave your face should've been proof for that monkey." the deer said
"I swear the next person to call me a damn monkey" Naruto said as he was tired of that crap
"Well maybe if you stuck to fox form you wouldn't be called that." Tia said as Naruto was the most human arrancar she had seen
"I like my humanoid form" Naruto said as he didn't wanna be a fox all day
"My name is Emilou Apacci." Apacci said to him
"Pfft." Naruto said
"What?" Apache said wondering what was funny
"I'm sorry it's just you're a deer and your name sounds like something an Indian would say." Naruto said before receiving another kick to the face "I'm ok!" he yelled
"Asshole" Apacci said with a glare
"Hey I didn't say it wasn't a pretty name" Naruto said as he rubbed his head
"You think I'm pretty?" Apacci asked perking up slightly
"He thinks everyone is pretty." Mila Rose said as Naruto spoke honestly something that was refreshing
"Not true that panther guy was ugly as sin" Naruto said as the panther was kinda gross in his opinion
"You didn't even meet him, you hid in a cave." Tia said
"He said he wanted to eat me before I don't play for the other team" Naruto said to her
"... Only you would take it that way." Tia said slapping her head with her fin
"I like you" Apacci said to Naruto
"We all do." Sung-Sun said as she wrapped around Naruto giving him her version of a hug
"Too tight." Naruto groaned as besides Tia they were too big
"So where are you heading?" Apacci asked curiously
"Wherever this stupid desert takes us." Naruto said as he looked in every direction "I hate this goddamn place" he said kicking the sand