Warning: Rated T for strong language.
A/N: Enjoy this next chapter.
Chapter 15 – Won't Back Down
Mark
One Month Later…
Lexie and I were in the elevator together, our hands grazing against each other. What I really wanted to do was back her up against the elevator wall and plunge my tongue into her mouth, but the elevator ride was short, and the fact that we could get caught was ever present.
It was getting harder in the last thirty days since we had been together to keep my hands to myself and not want to touch her when we were at the hospital. Even little things like squeezing her arm, or rest my chin on her shoulder as I snuck up behind her was getting harder and harder not to do.
I could sense that Lexie was starting to feel the same way. Most nights, she would come back to my place—since she lived with her roommates—we'd have dinner together, the best sex I ever had, and the most times she would sneak back over to her apartment in the early mornings. She was worried that if her friends consistently woke up and she wasn't there, the questions would continue to the point where it was getting harder and harder for her to give excuses.
As it was, Jackson, April, and Jo knew that Lexie was dating someone, they just didn't know who. We practically argued almost everyday when it would be the right time to go public with the decision that we were dating—and yes—in a relationship.
I still had the hesitation and reservations of what people would think when they found out it was me that Lexie was dating. This was the first time that I was really in a relationship that was healthy and I wanted to be in, and I didn't want it tainted by what people would say when they found out. I could take the hits, I was used to people thinking less of me, but I'm worried whether Lexie would be strong enough to endure it too.
"I know you keep saying it's not the right time, but I disagree," Lexie said, taking a bite of her egg roll as she sat next to me on my couch.
The bite of lomein I had been about to put in my mouth paused, before I lowered the chop sticks back into the container. "Lex, we've been over this…"
"I'd like to go over it again," she said sternly, tossing her own egg roll on the plate.
We both settled our food on the coffee table in front of us, Lexie crossing her legs in front of her as she turned her body so she was facing me. "I told you—"
"Yeah, I know. Your worried about what they will say and my reputation, and all this other stuff that I am not concerned with," she retorted.
I blew out a breath of frustration. "Well, you should be."
"It's my reputation, Mark. I think by now I have done a pretty good job of showing the people we care about at Seattle Grace the kind of person I am. The kind of doctor that I am capable of being."
I stood, because I was starting to feel a bit of the anger rise in me. Not at her specifically, but the situation. "And that will come into question once they find out it's me, you're dating."
Her eyes narrowed, standing so quickly as her arm grabbed hold of my upper arm and whirling me back to face her with pretty incredible strength. "Stop. Doing. That." She said through clenched teeth as her free hand clenched at her side.
"Lex…"
"No! I am tried of hearing you put yourself down and think that you are only worthy of whatever people think of you. You're a good person, Mark Sloan. I wouldn't be with you if you weren't."
Her chest was heaving, but she was so damn cute. She was so cute when she was feisty and riled up. But it was her words that got me every time. How wonderful this woman in front of me was, and how I didn't know what I could have done in this universe to ever end up with someone as wonderful as her wanting to be with someone like me.
It scared me. I didn't tell her that. I didn't tell anyone that…because I was a man. Men didn't talk about their feelings, and men certainly didn't let a woman like Lexie Grey dig in deep and somehow put roots to the fact that they could scare the ever-living hell out of me.
She was good. She was that goodness I remembered her talking about when she had opened up and told me about her mother and her father. How her mother brought her father back from the deepest, darkest despair and changed him. I didn't want her to be a crutch to me. I didn't do relationships. I didn't know how to really love another human being, and even though I cared deeply for Lexie, and those feelings of protection were so strong, that my need for her ached every second I wasn't able to touch her…I worried about what it would be like if she walked away.
What the hell was happening to me?
I frowned. "You keep saying that, Lex, but I'm not. I'm not the good guy you think I am. I always end up hurting the people I love, and the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you."
She crossed her arms over her chest, her one eye twitching in her attempt to hold back the anger. "Are you planning on hurting me?"
The thought alone made my stomach want to revolt the food I had eaten, my body surging with a rage that anyone—including myself—would ever think about hurting her. "Of course not," I snapped.
"Then all you are doing is worrying about what if's and making up excuses," she said. Her eyes focused on her feet, and I could sense a change, a sudden vulnerability in her stance. "Do you…not want me, like that? Are you embarrassed if people were to think you're with me?"
Now I was mad at her. "God, no. How could you even think something like that?"
We were back to her being frustrated, her arms falling to her side as she stared up at me with that fire in her eyes. "Because you keep wanting to put this off."
"I'm trying to protect you."
"From what? In case you don't realize, I don't need protecting," she bit back.
"Yes, you do," I said softly.
She raised her head, her chin jetted out, and I knew I had just taken us down a path that was going to be harder to calm her down from. In that moment, she looked like she wanted to stomp her foot and give me that opportunity to take back what I said if I knew what was good for me.
"Because you still don't think I am strong enough to handle a couple of comments or the heat that comes with wanting to be with you. You still think that whatever I feel for you is nothing." she challenged.
"I didn't say that," I responded, even though the note in my voice sounded so defeated and basically didn't really deny what she was saying.
She started walking to the door, and I felt my stomach clench and a stab right to the chest. "You know, unlike you Mark Sloan, I know what I want and what I feel. I don't need time to think about it, nor do I need to be persuaded. So, maybe it's you that really needs to decide what you want."
She grabbed her jacket off the hook next to my door and started shoving her hands through the material angrily.
"What do you want?" I asked, my voice so low, but still hopeful.
She rested her jacket on her shoulders, and turned her head over her shoulder. She held my gaze for a moment, her eyes unwavering but holding a little bit of tenderness. "You."
I wanted to reach out and take her in my arms, but my feet were rooted where they were. No one had ever really wanted me—just me—before. To my own parents I wasn't enough. It was always the next party, the next social standing that needed to be climbed and achieved. It didn't matter that I sat at home crying to our housekeeper that I just wanted my parents.
The door to my apartment opened, and Lexie strode out, the sound of nothingness as the door shut behind her, leaving me all by myself. I didn't know how long I had stood there, but when I realized I was dumb to let her go, I rushed to the door, my hand on the knob.
Was I going to do this? Was I going to march over to her apartment and raise suspicions when I demanded that I needed to talk to Lexie? I could make up some excuse that I needed to talk to her about a case we were working on or ask for her assistance to get her alone.
My resolve at no longer carrying rooted itself deep, as I flung open the door, my feet faltering as Lexie stood there, her worried eyes opening wide as she looked back at me.
"Your…You're here," I said surprised.
She nodded. A few seconds later, her lips curved upwards into a smile. "It took you long enough."
I pulled at her jacket, bringing her back into my apartment, slamming the door behind her as I kissed her senseless. When the moment and need for our next breath was evident, I pulled back only slightly. "I want you."
It wasn't that I just wanted her in that moment—lord knows I did—I wanted her to understand that it was just more than this moment, then just sex, then all of it. I wanted the relationship with her. I wanted everyone to know that we were in a relationship together. I just wanted her.
"Okay…" she breathed.
Her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling herself to me, as our mouths crashed again. I lifted her legs around my waist and marched her to the bedroom where I showed her exactly how much I wanted her.
We'd both agreed that after one month, we would take that leap. We would come out of hiding and tell everyone that we were together. We would start with Derek and Meredith first considering they were our family, but then after that, I would shout it from the freaking roof tops if that meant I could take her hand or kiss her out in the open without having to care who saw.
The doors to the elevator opened, our hands jerking apart as she got off and went to the left to change in the locker room and start her day, and I took off in the other direction.
"Hey," Derek said, when he saw me walking down the hall.
"Hey, I said with a smile.
Derek looked up from his chart he was writing on and gave me a sidelong glance. "What's up with you?"
My brows furrowed. "What do you mean what's up with me?"
Derek was scrutinizing me, and for a minute I was worried that he could see right through me. That he could see the secret that I had been holding back all this time.
"There is something different about you."
I grinned. "That each day I get better looking." I joked.
He shook his head indicating that wasn't it. "No…"
"Must be that you finally come to the realization that I am the best doctor on Seattle Grace's payroll."
Derek let out a laugh. "Ha! That's good, but no."
"Ok, stop looking at me. It's kind of creeping me out."
"Your happy," he said after a moment.
"And if that were the case…that would be like some kind of crime?"
Derek abandoned his chart and turned to face me. "You don't do happy," he pointed out.
"Not true. You just never noticed because it wasn't about you," I jested.
He did that laugh with his smile, that thing he always did when we would joke and best each other. "You know, come to think about it…you haven't really talked about scoring with the other nurses, and I haven't seen you flirting and talking about nothing but sex. What's going on with you?"
I shrugged. "I'm focused on work."
"Liar."
"What! I am."
"Alright," Derek said backing off, but I knew he hadn't when his gasp came next. "Wait, you're not seeing someone are you?"
I so badly wanted to tell him, but this was not the way it was going to happen. Lexie and I had planned to talk about it later, with the idea of going out to dinner and then laying the news on them then. Of course, it had to be perfect Derek Shepherd timing to want to involve himself in my life right at this moment when he generally hadn't cared about my love life before.
So, I had to try and worm myself out of this without shooting myself in the foot later. "Derek, it's me…come on."
For once, he didn't seem to just want to buy that excuse and ride it off.
"Hello boys!"
We both stilled; before turning around to see Addison Montgomery standing before us, her red hair falling down around her shoulders and a smile that said she was enjoying every possible minute of the fact that we were both surprised that she was standing in front of us.
Derek leaned in whispered. "Tell me right now if it's Addison."
"No," I snapped.
She grinned. "What does it take to get a hug from the two most important men in my life?"
Derek went first, because I was still shocked that she was standing there, before I finally went over and gave her one myself. There wasn't any bad blood between Addie and I, even with our complicated past, but normally she would alert us that she was coming, or we would reach out if we had a complicated case that we needed her. The last time she showed up unannounced, she was trying to get Derek back, and I was trying to win her back.
Neither worked out great for us in the end.
"What are you doing here?" Derek asked.
"I need a consult," she replied.
I frowned. "Are you ok?"
She smiled, and that made me relax. "I'm ok. The consult is not for me. It's for Archer," she said.
Archer was Addison's brother who had a very troubled relationship with Derek when they were still married. Me on the other hand, I had a great relationship with the guy, but it made it difficult when trying to stay neutral with both of my good friends.
"What's wrong with Archer?" I asked.
"He has neuro cystopsychosis," she answered.
I looked over at Derek, as that seemed to snap him out of the silence. "You want my help?"
She nodded. "I need the best. You two, believe it or not, are the best."
Derek blew out a breath. "I can take a look Addie, but those cases alone are already complicated enough as it is," he said.
"I know. It's why every doctor in L.A. has refused to even go near it. I begged Archer to see you, but you know how stubborn he can be…" she let the words trail off.
"So, why now?" Derek pushed.
"Because I don't give a crap about the past and whatever his feelings might be on the matter. My brother is hurting and in trouble and I need you to save him. For me."
There was a plea to her voice, which was not like Addison Montgomery. She wasn't one to beg or ask. Even when Derek and her were in the middle of their martial issues, her coming out here hadn't been to beg him for another chance. It had been a reminder to him of the commitment that he had made and that he owed her another chance. Truly what had been the ultimate downfall to their marriage ending.
Derek looked over at him, and the understanding was in both of their eyes. No matter what bad blood still might exist between Derek and Archer, they were always about saving lives first. Derek may no longer love Addison in that way, but she was always someone that the both of us would care about when it came to being friends.
"Alright," Derek relented. "Let's get him admitted and I will take a look at the scans and see what Mark and I can do."
"Thank you, thank you," Addison said.
She first pulled Derek into a tight embrace, releasing him and then doing the same to me. I couldn't help that pull feeling as my arms wrapped around her back, my eyes looking up to see across the way Lexie was standing next to George her eyes fixed on me and the woman in my arms that was holding onto me for dear life.
I pulled back from Addison even though my eyes were still focused on Lexie. I had a hard time these days not watching her every movement whenever she was around me. It was almost unbearable when she was around and I couldn't even touch her. She turned to her resident, George, her eyes widening at whatever they had been talking about. It didn't appear by her lower lip turning downwards and her eyebrows scrunched together that it was a good conversation.
I felt Addison's weight of her stare on me before she looked across the room and caught sight of Lexie. She did that double take where she looked back and forth between Lexie and I before her lips pursed together.
"So, who's the newbie next to Dr. O'Malley?" Addison asked.
Derek turned, since George and Lexie were behind him and then turned back with a smile. "Oh, that's one of our new and promising interns, Dr. Lexie Grey."
Addison's eyebrow arched. "Grey? As in any relation to Meredith Grey?"
I was thankful for Derek being the one to respond since I was still trying to put my mask back in place that would give nothing away. As it was, I already had given too much away to Addison now that she was asking about her. It was why even though I still worried about what people would say when they found out about Lexie and I, I could no longer argue that if we were going to continue to give this relationship a go, we needed to get it out in the open before someone found out in a way we didn't want to happen.
"Yes, their half-sister's," replied Derek.
She scoffed. "Great…there's two of them," she muttered.
Derek and I both caught the slight undertone in her comment. While we might all be on good terms, there would always still be that bit of animosity that Derek chose Meredith over her, even if the both of them realized that they no longer worked together and made each miserable.
"Give her a chance, Addie. She's extremely talented," Derek said with a bit of an exasperation in his tone.
Addison's eyes raked me over with a sly smile before she looked over to Derek. "I'm surprised you are ok with—"
"Why wouldn't he be? Eventually, she might become his sister," I interrupted, shooting a glare at Addie.
Derek looked a little confused, but then shook his head. "I have some rounds I need to complete. Can you make sure Archer gets admitted and then page me?"
Addison was looking at me, but she responded to Derek. "Absolutely."
Derek left, Addison stepping right in front of my face once he was gone. "He doesn't know your sleeping with her?" she asked her tone amused and a bit perplexed.
"Keep your voice down," I whispered harshly, looking around to make sure no one was in ear shot.
Her brows shot up at my tone. I knew she wasn't going to let this drop, so I grabbed hold of her upper arm and took us into the first available enclosed space.
I released her arm the moment we were in the room. "What the hell, Mark!"
"I don't need my business broadcasted all over the hospital."
She laughed. "Since when? You never were exactly discreet when it came to your discretions in the past."
Because just like the rest of them, Addison would only believe that whatever it was between Lexie and I could only be summed up as a discretion. That I wouldn't and couldn't ever be worth anything more than that, or that I could see someone worth more than that. Not even that one time that I had attempted to change for her.
"Things are different," was the only response I came up with at last.
"I knew there would be a time that Human Resources would come down and lay the gantlet about you sleeping with almost every female in the hospital."
I grit my teeth, trying to keep from engaging any further in this conversation. "Just keep your thoughts to yourself."
She crossed her arms over her chest. "Let's say I am right and you are sleeping with her, do you really think this is a smart idea of yours?"
"Why do you even care?"
She blinked; a bit taken back. "Excuse me for trying to be a friend and look out for you," she chided.
"Well, if I need anyone's input, you'll be the first I will come too," I said with a finality, even though my tone said I would do anything but on the subject matter.
I started to turn to walk away, but she grabbed my upper arm and pulled me back to face her. "Mark, I'm serious. He forgave the both of us last time. If he does marry Meredith—which I am sure that is going to happen—that will make her his sister. You know how he feels about you sleeping with his sisters."
I looked down at her hand, easily removing myself from her grasp so as to not hurt her feelings. "I know what I am doing, Addie."
"I don't think you…" her voice trailed off, her eyes suddenly going as round as saucers. "This isn't just about you sleeping with her," she guessed.
I schooled my expression. "Addie, let this drop," I replied in a warning tone.
"You care about her." she pushed.
"As you said, she is going to my best friend's future sister. Of course, I care about her," I bit back.
She shook her head, her claws already in deep that she wasn't going to let this subject drop. "There's more to it…this isn't—"
"Drop it, Addie!"
"You love her," she blurted.
We stood there for a moment, both starring at each other as the words she had just spoken hung in the air between us. I didn't know what it was that I felt for Lexie. I knew that I cared about her immensely. That the thought of her being hurt by her father or anyone else made my gut ache and hands ball into fists. The notion that if we didn't work out and some other man could get a chance at her and be with her, would tear me to shreds. Even with Addison, this wasn't something I had experienced before, and I wasn't sure what or how to put that in words.
What I did know, was what I wasn't interested in discussing this with Addison, when Lexie and I hadn't even told Derek and Meredith yet that we were seeing each other. As much as I cared for Addison, I wasn't interested in having this discussion with her before I had the chance to talk to them.
"Just keep your thoughts to yourself," I said, and turned and walked away before she could say anything further on the subject.
Lexie
"There's my badass resident," I said, finding George sorting through a stack of files.
"Hey, Lexie."
"What are you working on?" I asked.
He sighed. "Dr. Webber wants me to sort through all of these files since the start of when all you interns started. Somehow, winning the opportunity of being Chief Resident for the day—even though I haven't utilized it yet—it makes me the paperwork and filing grunt." he groaned.
"I could help."
His eyes lit up, but then he frowned. "While that would be amazing, I know you are on Dr. Robbins's service today with Alex as your resident. Last thing I need is him coming at me and yelling about taking you away."
"Well, since I just came from there and he had nothing for me to do, I would say that is on him."
He looked back at his files, and then at me weighing the decision, before he let out a frustrated sigh and declined my offer again. Everyone could say what they want about George, but he had this drive and loyalty about him. If the Chief or Webber trusted him with a task—even as mundane as this one—he took pride and treated it with the same seriousness as wanting to save a life.
I felt a twinge in my spine, the back of the hair on my neck standing up, seeing out of the corner of my eye the one person that I suddenly couldn't imagine not seeing every day. He was in a small group, talking with Derek and another female doctor I hadn't recognized. She had bright fire-red hair, and an air of confidence in her that she oozed from even all the way across the room. Her eyes looked over at me, making me suddenly look away.
I turned to George. "Hey, um, who's that doctor over there talking to Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Sloan?"
George looked over his shoulder, and then chuckled. "Oh, that's Dr. Montgomery."
The name registered immediately. "The Addison Montgomery?"
He nodded. "You know her?"
"I know of her," I clarified. "I mean these hospital walls talk, and well, you know Meredith is my sister," I said suddenly feeling like I was reading like an open book.
Goerge started separating his list of files into two. "Well, then you know the basics. She was Derek's ex-wife, and Mark's um, first sex with benefits…you know, pre-Callie," he explained.
I tried to make sure my expression was mixed with a combination of the fact that the gossip would mean I knew that information while at the same time learning new information. No one knew that Mark and I were together, and I didn't need George picking up that information before we had a chance to tell Derek and Meredith first.
"I thought Mark was in love with her."
George scoffed. "Mark Sloan? In love?" He shook his head at me as if he thought my comment was cute. "Lexie, that guy is incapable of love."
A sudden urge of protectiveness shot between me. Of course, George—like the rest—would only ever see the faults in Mark and the inability to consider that he might be able to change.
"That's not true," I argued.
"Yes, it is," he shot back. "Listen, I know you want to think everyone has redeeming qualities, but Mark Sloan is not one of them. He may be a good doctor, but that is where it ends. He betrayed his own friend by cheating with his wife. He claimed he was in love with her, only to then screw up the one chance to prove himself to Addison by sleeping with a nurse and breaking her heart. He's not a good guy."
My eyes narrowed. "No offense George, but you cheated on your fiancé."
George looked at me and I instantly felt bad with how wounded he looked. "Ouch, Lexie."
"I didn't mean it like that," I said trying to cover my tracks quickly. "I just mean, that I consider you a good guy. You're a nice person who deep down would never want to hurt someone. If anyone tried to say the same thing about what you did to Callie, I would react the same way."
He thought about that for a moment and sighed. "I guess you're right."
It was something else he had said that still had me twisted in knots. Mark had told me about Addison during our first date, but he never mentioned anything about proving himself. "What did you mean that he wasn't able to prove himself?" I asked.
My eyes were once again focused back across the room as the group talked with each other. It seemed that Addison was more engrossed in her attention to Mark then it was her ex-husband.
"Meaning that Addison had a right to be concerned that Mark isn't the kind of man that does relationships." He paused, lowering his voice as he looked around to make sure no one was listening into our discussion. "She gave him a challenge. If he could go sixty days without sleeping with anyone at all, she would consider going into a relationship with him."
"You're saying he broke the pact?"
The look he gave me told me that was a given. "Apparently, he didn't even last two weeks. Addison found out about it and then left for L.A. not long after. Of course, McSteamy continued on with his ways," he said, his voice still dipping at the nickname that told me George was more jealous that Mark had a nickname that he wished he had.
I tried not to sound as disappointed as I felt with that information. Why hadn't Mark told me about that part of the story? "Maybe he didn't really love or want a relationship with her."
George let out a cackle laugh that was as patronizing as it sounded. "Right. Mark Sloan…wanting anything close to love or relationship. It just proved what we already knew…he's nothing more than a good time."
That need to defend him was strong again. "That's not fair. I think everyone's forgetting the role Addison played in this as well. Besides, people can change."
George abandoned his files and looked at me for a moment. Really looked at me. I saw something flash across his features that reminded me of the first time we discussed Mark on my first day as an intern. He thought then that I had already slept with Mark within the first hours of meeting him, and I could see the questioningly look in his eyes now.
"Lexie, I know you want to see the best in everyone, but with Sloan, you can't. I'm telling you; some leopards can't change their spots. Anyone who even thinks he can change will only be disappointed and heartbroken."
I wanted to scream in his face and tell him he was wrong. That he could change. That didn't he notice in the last month Mark hadn't been sleeping around with nurses or doctors because he had been with her. That he was sweet, protective, and more than capable of all of these things that George and everyone else in the hospital were too stubborn to see.
My words died in my throat however; when I saw Mark, grab hold of Addison and pulled her into a room where it was just the two of them. George having seen where my glance had gone had also seen the same thing.
He grabbed the two stacks of files in his hands and leaned into my ear. "Or maybe he is just glad to be able to dabble back into a familiar pond," he said, before leaving me to exactly wonder what the hell was going on in that room.
I had just finished a workup on our Dr. Robbins newest patient. Alex had requested that I ordered all new lab work and new scans to find out why a previous patient of theirs was back to experiencing the same symptoms that should have cleared when they had finished their treatment last, he was here.
"Dr. Grey?"
"Yes," I answered turning around coming face to face with Addison Montgomery.
She licked her lips as she looked me over, and I suddenly felt as if I was under some kind of microscope. Her gaze made me abruptly want to smooth out my hair, or wish I was dressed in something other than scrubs. The need to want to visit the lady's room to make sure what little makeup I was wearing was still in place.
It wasn't lost on me. I was staring at Mark's past, and I could read in her eyes that she knew that I was possibly Mark's future. Had he told her about us? Would she be ok with the fact if we were dating? Was she jealous? It didn't take me long to find those answers out.
"Your Meredith Grey's sister?"
I nodded. "Yes. Half-sisters on our dad's side."
I wasn't sure why she ended up asking the question since it appeared she already had confirmed that answer before even asking me. Maybe it was her way of trying to get a read of me when she asked other questions. See if I was lying to her or not. That made me a little miffed, since I didn't feel that I owed the red-head any answers that I didn't believe she needed to know.
"He's not like my ex-husband."
"I'm sorry?"
Her eyes twinkled as she again looked me over this time with an amusement. "Mark. Trust me, of anyone in this hospital, I know the appeal."
"Dr. Sloan is a talented doctor," I replied, trying my best not to have this very discussion out in the open where any moment anyone could walk up and hear the nature of what we were discussing. "I'm not sure what else you seem to be applying."
"Come now," she said her tone less amused now and taking on more of a bored one. "I've always been able to read Mark. It's a gift I possess. And like my ex-husband, he too seems to have the Grey bug."
Her tone was dripping with a condescending nature at her last couple of words. It was probably bad enough that her ex-husband was now with my older sister and even considered Meredith the love of his life, but now her ex-lover was interested in me. It didn't take a genius to understand that it had to sting a little bit for the doctor.
I still didn't know what exactly she knew or what Addison or Mark discussed when they had gone into the room together. If I had to guess based on what she had already said, she was against the idea of Mark and I being together, and I wanted to know why that was. Did she still harbor some feelings for Mark? I didn't know exactly why she was here, and the fact that she wasn't dressed in scrubs meant that she wasn't here for a consult as a doctor. Was she here because she wanted him back?
The thought that she would come back and want to possibly rekindle any sort of romantic relationship with Mark made my gut churn. I had to take a deep breath and push that from my mind. Mark had said they were a mistake. They would have never worked and that he no longer cared for her in that way. I had to hope that was true…even if Addison might have changed her mind and thought coming back to try and win him back might be part of her agenda.
"I'm not sure what you are trying to get at here, Dr. Montgomery."
"I think you do. Let me help you out here. I am not interested in Mark Sloan in that way. I've learned my lesson."
Even as I looked up and saw the wistful look in her expression, I could also see the truth in her statement. So, she wasn't here to win Mark back. Then why the need to feel that she needed to come over to me and have this discussion with me.
"I'm not—"
"You are," she interjected, cutting off my answer before I could attempt to deny. "Woman to woman, I am just trying to help you out. Save you from the heartache that you would face if you continue down this path."
Wasn't she supposed to be his friend? I would never dream of doing anything that would hurt my friends even if I might disagree with their personal decision.
"You can save your speech," I said dropping all pretenses now.
Addison smiled. "Trust me, there is more you don't know about. Mark isn't the kind of man—"
"That does relationships and love," I cut off this time, tired of hearing the same old thing. "So, I have been told."
"Listen, I love Mark. He is a dear friend to me, but I know his limits. I know what he is capable of being able to do and not do. Relationships and love are not one of them."
"Or maybe you're just trying to understand why he wasn't capable of doing that with you." I was aware my tone was haughty and a little rude considering I was talking to another attending. Right now, she was not my attending and I didn't appreciate her melding into something she had no business being involved in.
Addison's eyes narrowed. My comment had obviously struck a chord with her. "My only intention here was to help you, before you encountered the inevitable heartache. I would hate to have to say that I told you so when the time comes."
I wasn't interested in continuing the conversation or the bait. "Well, Dr. Montgomery, there is no need for you to have to concern yourself with me."
"It was nice to have met you, Dr. Grey."
"Take care, Dr. Montgomery."
Her lip quirked upwards. "Oh, I'll be here for a few more days. I'll see you around," she said, before turning and walking in the opposite direction.
A few hours later, I finally had an opportunity to head to the cafeteria for a break. Luckily, my roommates were all headed in the same direction. We each fell into line grabbing our lunch items and paying for food and snacks. As I turned from the line to follow Jackson who had been in front of me, I caught out of the corner of my eye Derek, Addison, and Mark sitting at a table together. Addison looked up right at that moment catching me looking over, that twinkle in her eye reappearing.
I bit back my groan and looked away making my way over to my table with the rest of my friends. I slammed my tray down a little harder than I intended, April jumping back, Jackson looking up at me in mid chew, and Jo glancing in my direction.
"What's eating you?" Jo asked.
"Sorry. Just been a bit of a frustrating day," I answered.
"Is it Arizona or Alex? There usually pretty easy to work with," commented Jo.
Out of all my roommates, Jo worked the most with her resident Alex and Dr. Robbins. Even though the Chief was clear about not allowing interns and residents pick specialties early on, it was easy to see that peds was his specialty.
"No…it's not that," I said biting my lip.
"Then what is it?" asked April.
"I ran into Addison Montgomery today."
Understanding crossed all of their features. While no one knew about Mark and I and that being the reason I might be upset, they did know about Meredith and Derek and figured that had been the reason.
"I thought she was over the whole Derek and your sister debacle," said Jo.
"Is she taking it out on you?" asked Jackson.
"Not exactly. She's just not the most pleasant person to be around," I said.
That seemed to perplex Jo even further. "Alex has only said nice things about her."
I laughed. "Yeah, because she used to sleep with Alex."
Jo's eyebrows shot up, and if I didn't know any better her expression turned to one of distaste. Was Jo crushing on her own resident? "How do you know that?"
I had forgotten that was information I had specifically learned from Mark, but considering gossip floated around these halls about everyone and their sex life, I attempted to use that as my reasoning. "Uh, just gossip I heard around the hospital.
"So, it might not be true," Jo replied, hopeful once more.
I felt bad in that I didn't want to crush that hope, but it was the truth. If Jo did have some sort of crush on Alex and it turned into anything more, she was going to find out. It was better she knew now in case Addison and Alex decided to hook up again while she was here.
Which was another reason for my sour mood for the day. Not only did I have to put up with my boyfriends ex, and her trying to put doubts in whatever it was that was blossoming between Mark and I, but now I had to put up with the fact that she was going to be around for the next few days.
My eyes glanced up and over at the table where the three of them were sitting. They were laughing and talking as if they were discussing the old days and the times they had together. I wondered in that moment if Meredith had any concerns or issues with the fact that her boyfriend was still as chummy with his ex-wife as he seemed to be. Even though I could see that Derek felt nothing romantic towards Addison, I couldn't exactly rule that out for Mark. I hoped, but I wasn't sure.
As if Addison expected that, her gaze flickered my way, before she leaned closer to Mark, whispering something that had him looking over in my direction. I looked away and focused my attention back on my friends instead.
"I don't know, Jo, the rumor came from some pretty reliable people," I said.
Her eyes casted down as she played with the apple on her tray.
"Well, she is pretty hot," Jackson commented. "I could be into older chicks if she was interested."
April's expression turned to one of disgust. "Ew!"
I couldn't help but glance back up every couple of seconds at the table as they continued their banter. Addison leaning close to Mark, or finding some way to touch him. It aggravated me more considering that I thought she was doing it because she knew I was watching.
The rest of my friends seemed to go on about their cases and upcoming opportunities of procedures they were going to scrub in on. I made comments here and there, but the pit in the bottom of my stomach that seemed to continue to grow with each glance their way, I could no longer take just sitting there anymore and watching.
I grabbed my tray and stood. "I'm going to head back and catch up on my work," I said.
The rest of the group said good-bye allowing myself one last look at Mark's table his eyes following mine before I turned and stormed out of the cafeteria.
Mark
Addison was a good friend of mine, but right now she wasn't acting like it. I had thought I had made things clear to her in our conversation this morning to drop things and let it go, but the moment I clocked Lexie walking into the cafeteria, so did Addison.
I was aware of her scooting her chair closer to mine, and finding opportunities to try and touch me in some ways. To anyone else, it would appear innocent in that it was just two friends catching up, but I knew better. I was still trying to understand what Addie's play was. Was this her attempt to try and get me to have to admit out loud my relationship with Lexie, or was she just messing around with me because she had guessed I was in a relationship.
When she had leaned in to tell me what I already knew that Lexie was in the room and kept looking over here with a rather displeased look, I could see it only fueled Addie on anymore.
"I don't think she likes me," Addie whispered.
"Stop it," I bit back.
"What are you two whispering about?" Derek asked.
Addie snapped up straight and launched perfectly into a story about the time that she and I wanted to play a prank on Derek. She needed to enlist me on the prank since it had to do with their wedding and specifically the rings being that I was the best man and rings were my responsibility to watch.
Derek broke out into laughter as she retold the story, but I couldn't help but keep stealing glances in Lexie's direction every few minutes when she didn't notice. She definitely didn't look happy, but this felt as if it was something more. Something else. She knew about my history with Addie, but she also knew there was nothing else between us anymore. It was the past and we were just friends.
Was she jealous?
While in some weird way that notion made a little wave of excitement rush through me, there was little embers blazing behind those brown eyes of her. Something had happened that made her obvious dislike for Addison more prevalent. The sidelong glance in Addie's direction and the quick flicker of her gaze over at Lexie had only confirmed my suspicions.
Derek's pager went off, making him need to leave the table for a consult in the ER. As soon as he was out of ear shot, leaving Addie and I alone, I whirled on her.
"What did you do?"
She had enough nerve to appear innocent. "I have no idea what you are talking about," she replied.
"I'm serious, Addie. What did you do?"
Addison's eyes flickered back across the room, Lexie standing up from the table with her tray in her hands as she looked over at us and then stormed out of the cafeteria. Everything in me wanted to get up from the table and immediately go after her, but all that would do is egg Addison on and confirm what she already knew.
She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "Nothing. I just introduced myself and had a little chat."
I growled. "And what did you discuss in your chat?"
Her face was deadpan, but her eyes were mischievous. "I just wanted to clear the air and make sure she didn't get the wrong idea about you or I."
"I told you I didn't need your help and to mind your own business. What is your game, Addie?"
"Nothing."
I shook my head, but wasn't buying it. "I don't believe you for one second."
"Mark, really…nothing."
I grabbed my own tray and stood. I made sure to look down at her eyes at my next words. "I'm warning you, Addie. Leave this alone. You came here for my help. If you want it, back off," I warned, before turning and walking away.
As soon as I left the cafeteria, I was in search for Lexie. I didn't know the extent of Addison's games, but I was sure she had done some damage when it came to Lexie. Something to make the otherwise sweet and easygoing intern, angry enough that she was shooting daggers in Addison's direction.
I found her at the nurse's station bent over a file. She was tapping her fingers aggressively, her pen making large long strokes without even leaving the paper. She did not look happy.
"Can we talk?" I asked approaching her side.
"I'm a little busy," she said dismissively.
"Lex…"
She closed her eyes and sighed. "Fine," she murmured.
"On-call room?"
For a moment, a look of heat flashed in her eyes, before it was gone too quickly and she nodded. I walked away first, walking along the corridor and going into the first of the on-call rooms that was empty. A few minutes later, the door opened and in walked Lexie.
"Dr. Sloan."
She was definitely mad. She only used my name in this tone when she was mad or aggravated. She leaned against the door of the room, her arms across her chest as she waited for me to begin.
"You seem upset," I said at last.
She gave me a look that could be summed up with a single word. Duh. "I thought we agreed about how we would tell people," she said.
"I didn't tell anyone."
"You really want me to believe that you didn't tell Addison?"
I tried not to let the fact that she was choosing to not believe me and question me on this bother me. "I promise you, I did not tell her," I said.
She glanced at me for a moment, then let out a sigh. "She suspects."
I nodded. "She saw the way I was looking at you and guessed. I didn't tell her anything."
"Which is when she decided to have a chat me," Lexie guessed.
"I figured at the table when you two were looking at each other that something must've happened. What did she say to you?"
"It was nothing."
Even now, when she was mad, she was still worried about the fallout that she assumed would happen if I knew that Addison had done anything to upset her. I would, if Addison involved herself in my business after I asked her not too.
I could see something flash across her features. "What?"
Lexie looked over at me questioningly. "Why didn't you tell me about the pact?"
Recognition dawned on my features. Addison was going to get a piece of my mind. "Because it only proved what I had already knew deep inside," I answered.
"That you're not the relationship kind of person?" she asked. Her expression dropped. "She asked for sixty days and you didn't last for two weeks without breaking it."
I balked at the accusation and looked away from her. I…I thought Lexie might be different from the rest. That she saw the good in me. The kind of person that I could be…that maybe I wanted to be. Maybe I had been wrong. Maybe she was just waiting for me to screw up so she could walk away just like the rest.
"I don't believe that," she said, her voice strong and unwavering. "That may be her side and what the hospital thinks, but I don't believe it. I saw how much it hurt you to tell me about her. I want to hear it from you."
My chest swelled at those words. I rubbed the back of my neck, knowing I was going to have to let more of my past out on display. Open myself up just a little more to her. "It was Addie who broke the pact. I saw her and Karev coming out of an on-call room together. When she looked up and saw me, I think it was the shock of her being caught that upset her more than knowing that she had just segmented the fact that in my eyes I knew what I had known all along…she didn't want me."
Lexie shoved off from the door, coming closer to me until she took my hand and interlocked her fingers with mine. I looked up into those eyes, just seeing them bringing me some comfort and other emotions that were hard to put into words.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"It is what it is," I said, even though my voice betrayed me a little. "I could see the fear in her eyes that I had been serious with her when I told her I wanted us. I wanted it to be real. She didn't want it. So, I gave her what she needed. An out. I told her I slept with some nurse to ease her guilt and then said it was better off that we stayed friends."
"She's an idiot."
Those three words alone, made me laugh and brought a smile to my face. I brought my free hand up to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear and caress her cheek with my fingers.
"I don't regret it now. I'm over it. We never would have worked anyway." Her cheek titled in my hand so now that I could cup it, my thumb still tracing small circles. "Being with you has only proved that what I felt for her doesn't even come close to what I feel for you," I said.
Her eyes sparkled. "Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"And she's not interested in coming here to win you back?"
It was my turn to chuckle. "No. She's here because her brother is sick and she needs Derek and I."
I saw the remaining anger fade out of her. "Is he ok?"
It was just like Lexie to put everything aside to care more about someone else, even if that someone else happened to be the brother of my former ex who was definitely starting to try and cause trouble between us.
"I don't know. Derek and I need to look at the scans, but we're hoping we can help," I answered, dropping my hand so both of my arms could wrap around her waist as I pulled her closer.
"Can I help?"
I bent down and gave her a chaste kiss. "I'll let you know," I said. "Are we ok?" I asked as I pulled back.
Her hands slid up my chest. "Yeah, we're ok," she said.
She leaned into kiss me again, but stopped at the sound of buzzing in her pocket. It wasn't the same kind of buzzing for our pagers, but a separate buzzing of another phone. One we shouldn't keep on us during working hours so it didn't distract us from our work.
She pulled back; looking at me sheepishly as she reached into her pocket and pulled out the phone. Her entire body stiffened as she looked down at the screen. Before I could even ask, she flipped open the phone and put it to her ear.
"Hello?" She looked up to me as the voice on the other end started talking to her. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could tell it was a male voice. Her brows furrowed, and her lips turned downwards. "Ok…ok…yes…I understand."
She hung up the phone, but kept looking at it for a moment as if either what she heard wasn't really what she heard, or it would provide her all the answers she was seeking based on what she had heard. I couldn't take the suspense anymore.
"Who was it?"
"It was the paramedics. My dad collapsed at the liquor store. They believe it was alcohol poisoning. He is refusing to be taken to a hospital, but they aren't comfortable leaving until someone arrives. I have to go," she said.
I immediately reached out to stop her. "Lex, wait! I don't want you to go alone," I said.
"Mark, I have to go," she repeated, desperation in her eyes.
Before I could even respond, she turned opened the door and rushed from the on-call room.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter.