Author's note: Here I am, with yet another chapter for you guys. To be honest, this one exhausted me today, since I was so keen to finish it. It is purely a Mark/Julia breakup, as you see- a pretty long one. I really tried hard on this one, wanted to go into Julia's feelings and all that, which was quite a challenge. After this chapter, I am actually going to work on a little mainly fluff one shot, which yes, means taking a break from this story. But of course, I will try my best and will get back on it as soon as possible. For now, enjoy this chapter!

Mark Sloan took a deep breath, as he walked out into the brisk Seattle air, just outside the main entrance of Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital, patiently awaiting for soon-to-be his ex girlfriend's arrival. The fresh and sharp scent of a cold Seattle day hit him as soon as he got out of the building. Just another typical day for Mark. Except- it wasn't just any day. And what he was about to do - that was definitely not what a person does on a daily basis. Or even - something a person should be happy about.

"I am an awful human being." Mark though, his gaze connected with the sky, as he silently judged himself already.

He was nervous, to say the least. He hadn't planned this out, had zero idea about what he was going to tell her, had zero idea about what her reaction could be...No idea if she had any doubts about their relationship in the first place?

Did she?

Did she ever, in any way, expect this to happen? Is she anticipating it, at this very moment, even? Or does she think all he wanted to do was simply - see her and spend time with her?

Did she even invision a future with him?

Okay, why is he even questioning that.

Mark knew very well, that Julia Canner had a very well planned out future, prepared for the two of them. She was happy, she loved his daughter, she was ready to be his wife and the mother of his children-

Yet it never seemed right to Mark. No matter how much he tried, it always felt like something was missing.

Like someone was missing.

So here he was now, leaning against a wall of the Seattle Grace hospital, thinking about how in the hell he's going to break this sudden news to Julia.

It's not like Mark regretted anything that has happened in the past hours. Quite the opposite, actually. He finally felt the way he hasn't in months - he felt complete. As if he has finally found the last piece of the puzzle, and put it into it's assigned place. And Mark Sloan could never regret that.

Lexie...He could - He could never regret choosing Lexie.

What he did regret though - are the consequences.

Having to hurt someone.

Having to hurt someone he still very much cared about, even if that was the last thing he ever wanted to do. That was something - something he never wanted to do.

Julia wasn't the love of his life, that was for sure. Julia wasn't his soulmate, or - or even a person he wanted to marry, have kids with...At one point, Mark thought that maybe, he could do it anyway. Maybe, if she made him happy and he made her happy - maybe they could have made it work.

It seemed right - everything seemed right on paper, didn't it?

But Mark Sloan was wrong. He was thinking with his head. Thinking with his head, all the time. Every minute of...every day - and no matter how cheesy it sounds...He forgot that his heart had a say in all of that too.

And, no...Julia wasn't the love of his life, or his soulmate - but Mark couldn't deny it...he cared about her. He cared about her deeply...Not in the same way he cared about Lexie, but still...She has become a big part of his life in the past couple of months - so hurting her? He...He never wanted that.

And now...he had to do it.

No matter how many times he went through it in his head - the innocent woman will end up hurt in the end.

She was a victim. A victim of all things Mark and Lexie.

And no matter how many times he would try to change that, tried to find a way in making it easier for her - he couldn't. The damage has already been made...And someone was bound to suffer, either way.

.

"Oh, there you are." Mark could hear a soft voice come from in front of him, instantly looking up from the ground and taking him out of his thoughts, the sight of Julia Canner approaching him made him even more nervous than he was before. She made her presence known while glancing down at her watch, still walking towards him with a bright smile covering her face.

"Hey..." Mark told her quietly, still leaning back against a near wall, as she finally got closer to him.

"Sorry, I know I am late..." she apologized, still delusional. It seemed as she was out of breath, slurring over her words with the slightest of care. "It's just that, I was finishing up with a surgery, so it took me a while to get ready and come here...And then the traffic was really bad so that made me even more late, I know..." She spoke apologetically, wishing that she had done better "And I didn't mean to be this late, really I just..." Julia tried, losing track of what she was about to say in the first place. "I am...sorry that I kept you waiting." She landed on, catching a breath she didn't even realize she's been holding all along.

Mark took a long pause before answering, still trapped within his pondering, going over the conversation they were about to have in his mind.

"No, no...It's okay." Mark murmured. "-don't worry. I didn't wait for too long." He told her quietly, still insecure beyond words.

"Oh, well I am glad to hear that." She gave him an affectionate smile, relief obvious within every spoken word. "Again...so sorry, it's just...surgery and - traffic. You know how that is." She tried one more time, wanting to make sure that it really was okay.

"Yeah, yeah...Don't worry about it, really. No big deal." Mark assured her, silently wishing for this to be easier.

Julia is such an amazing woman - he always knew that. Since the moment he met her. He knew it, even in this very moment...

Yet she wasn't what Mark wanted. She wasn't what Mark had needed, either...No matter how amazing or perfect she was - for him...It could never be enough.

"Okay. So - you sounded quite serious on the phone a while ago. And now - you don't seem too...delighted to see me." She told him, already worried. The blunt expression on his face has already told her enough. "Is everything okay? Did something happen?" Julia questioned, her arms crossed ahead of her chest.

"Yeah - actually...Something did happen..." Mark spoke, his hands landing into his lab coat's pockets. Julia seemed a little startled by the sudden statement, yet she kept quiet, allowing him to finish."-and I - I need to talk to you about it - that's why I called you." When he spoke again, his voice was still soft, but his confidence permeated through his words.

"Is it - Is it serious?" Julia bit her lip in nervousness, as Mark was still looking down at her.

The fear was now evident. It was evident in the way she looked at him, in the way her body reacted - and it made him wonder...

Does she know? Does she...know why I called her here?

"It - It kinda is." He finally managed, inhaling deeply.

"Oh...well, you know you can tell me anything, right?" She told him, a small smile plastered onto her worried expression, and her shaky hand reaching out to touch the side of his arm.

Mark looked down at it, regret crumbling up in his chest as soon as he felt the touch of her palm on top of the coat's thin material.

"Yeah, I know..." Mark whispered, as Julia felt the way his muscles tensed at her small gesture. He shuddered for a moment, making her arms fall back on top of her chest, yet another time.

"Mark, you're making me worried." She pulled away slightly, so her eyes were staring challengingly into his. "What - what is this about?" Julia was worried, scared...maybe even terrified. Not having any idea where this was leading to, what he was about to tell her or what to expect - the woman shuddered slightly, patiently awaiting for what he was about to tell her next.

"It's - about..." Mark begun, taking in a deep breath. He didn't want to do this - he really didn't want to do this - to hurt her.

But he loved Lexie.

And for Lexie - he was ready to do just about anything.

"About us...about - you and..." Mark trailed off, unable to finish the sentence he started.

"Wait, wait..." Julia interrupted. "Is this about what I said yesterday? About - us having a baby?" Her voice broke for a second, as she tried her best to find a reason behind what he just told her. "Because - Mark, if you are not ready, if you think we should wait...I don't mind. I just - I crossed the line, I get it..we have been dating for only a few months now, you - you have Sofia, I totally understand if you don't-"

"No, Julia -" Mark cut in, all of a sudden. "-that's not what I wanted to speak to you about. That's - that's not..." Inwardly, Mark cringed. His voice sounded cold and detached, even to his desensitized ears. You can't be this cold, he reminded can't act like this. Not now. He took a breath, trying to regulate himself, and ended up recalling his promise to Lexie. Every promise. He recalled every little thing he's ever said he would do for her.

"Oh...It's not?" She was still staring at him like she didn't understand what he was saying.

Because she didn't.

Julia didn't understand.

"No." He paused, his voice obviously unclear as he vocalized the word. "It's not." Mark cleared his throat, his gaze falling back to the ground.

He then turned his head, staring at the main hospital entrance, and the people that have appeared in those few seconds he glanced in that direction...Somewhere, some place on the other side of that door, she's waiting for him. To come back, to come home, to make things right again. To make them truly right. And doing this was the only way how.

"But - what did you mean by...by "us" then?" Julia Canner vocalized, waking Mark up from his trance. She was nervous as she spoke - her voice was quiet, uneven, almost silent...She understood by now.

"I really - I really don't even know how to say this, I - I have no idea how to...how to even-" He hesitated for only a fraction of a second, yet she was already ahead of him.

By now, Julia Canner understood. She didn't want to, but deep down...she did. And she tried to deny it. Tried to convince herself that - that it isn't what she thinks it is. What she expects it to be. It was just her mind playing games with her. They - they were happy, they were - they were so happy.

But the way he spoke to her...the way he looked at her.

It was all too clear.

"Wait, Mark...you aren't-" She once again stumbled upon her words, nervous and agitated, unable to even think clearly "-please, tell me that...what you are about to say isn't...isn't what I think it is-" She felt the tears peak through, and her heart twist at the way he was looking at her. And she wished she could run away. She wished she could turn around. She wished she was stronger; she wished she could pretend that it was all only an awful nightmare, wished she could..."It isn't what I think it is...is it?" Dr. Julia Canner closed her eyes, her lungs constricting to the point of not being able to breathe, her voice coming out as ragged whispers.

She hoped he wouldn't say it. Hoped that all of it was just a part of her crazy imagination.

Yet deep down, she knew. She could see it in his eyes.

It was so, annoyingly obvious.

And then it hit her. Like a punch in the face, it hit her.

"I think we should break up."

.

"I think we should break up..."

Somehow, it wasn't any harder saying it a second time. It wasn't any easier, either. But he said it. He did it.

Julia shook her head sadly, the truth behind what he was saying finally getting to her. She stared at him, her eyes somehow hard and tender at the same time, tears ready to fall out any moment now.

She didn't reply, couldn't reply - and the silence between them stretched on for minutes. They've reached an impasse, a stalemate of words. Neither of them knew how to breach it.

So it is what I thought it would be...

Julia thought desperately, her breath stuck somewhere between her lungs and her mouth.

"Where -" She tried, finally getting some courage back. "Mark, where is this coming from? Why do you-" Julia asked softly, breaking the ice between them. The question, one that could easily be voiced in anger or bitterness, is cloaked only by sadness as it left her lips. "What happened? We - we were so happy, weren't we?" Dr. Julia Canner shook her head, her voice breaking a tiny bit more with each new word. "We - everything seemed to go well, even - even this morning...Why do you - why do you want to destroy that?" Her voice came out as a ragged whisper, as she took a step closer, trying to look him in the eyes and see what cold truth he was hiding behind them.

"Something happened..." Mark sighed. "And I - I think it's for the best. For the both of us."

Mark was aware of the fact that -he had to tell her. He had to tell her about Lexie. No matter what. The last thing she deserved was to be lied to. Mark knew that. Julia was a good woman, who deserved to know the truth.

But how? How was he supposed to tell her that?

He certainly knew that a"Hey, sorry, we need to break up because I am in love with another woman" wasn't gonna work. To be honest, it wasn't even an option in the first place. He couldn't be that cold. He couldn't be that unbothered. He couldn't be that insensitive.

He needed to approach the subject more gently...if possible.

"But...what happened? Why do you want to end this? Give me a reason, a reason -" Julia shook her head vigorously, advancing on him, still in denial when it comes to what he was saying." -for doing this, so out of the blue...Why would you -" She then paused, wiping a single tear that has been falling down her face. "-why would you want to destroy what we have?" She questioned, her voice loftly before crashing down. She took one small step forward, attempting to connect his hand with her own. Trying to assure him, show him - with her touch, with her hold - that what he was doing was wrong. That what he was trying to give up on, throw into the trash, forget about - that it isn't what he should be doing.

But the moment their palms met, he shrugged it off apologetically, as if he was trying to show her just how much he didn't want this. As if what she feels for him - wasn't enough.

"Okay, just - just tell me." Dr. Julia Canner demanded, her voice still slightly shaking. "What did I do wrong, what have I done, why do you..." The pain shot up her heart like fire, tears holding onto the eyes, doing it's best not to show up again.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Julia. Trust me, nothing - it was nothing you've done - nothing you've ever done was wrong -"

And really, it was the truth.

She has never done anything wrong - all she did was...She loved him, tried her best to make him happy - made him laugh, made him feel as loved as possible. She has done everything right. Everything.

Yet even the everything she offered him - wasn't the everything he needed.

"Well, it must be something." She snapped, before she could even stop herself. "If you are doing this, if you want us to end, just like that, all of a sudden - it must be something I've done wrong...You - you can't even let me touch you." Julia managed, pain clogging her throat. Raising her voise wasn't even an option any longer, since it was so hushed with heartbreak.

"Why - why won't you let me touch you?" She stared at him, swallowing slowly. She let yet another tear fall down her ashen cheek, but she hadn't brushed it off this time. She let it flow down her face, slowly - not wanting to hide what he was doing to her. Not wanting to hide the way he was hurting her.

He should see what he was doing. He should realize what he was throwing away.

And that's what did it to him. The hurt, the betrayal he could notice only by looking her in the eyes - it was now or never.

"There's this thing - that I have to tell you, but I -" Mark paused, looking up at the sky for a single moment, trying to find the courage for doing this. "I don't know how, I don't know - I just, I don't know how to tell you this, because no it was never anything you've done, you - you're perfect..." And then he looked back at her, their gazes connecting. "It's just-"

"It's just what?" Dr. Julia Canner snapped once again, losing her patience. "What is going on, why are you acting like this, why..."

"Do you remember..." Mark exhaled softly, looking her in the eyes.

Here we go...

"Last night, after my shift - Lexie and I were talking..."

"I - I do." She responded, confused. "But, what does that...have to do with any of this?" Julia murmured, tears now falling freely.

"She, well - told me something important and, you - you deserve to know. What she told me, I mean. You should know." He told her honestly.

"Then tell me." She shook her head one more time, still very much in denial of what was happening. Still not understanding. Still afraid, still..."Just - spit it out already, whatever it is..."

Mark took a long, deep breath, after which silence lingered between them for longer than he intended to. He tried so hard to find the best way, the best possible approach - for what he was about to say. As if there was the best way.

It was so quiet for a moment between the two, and as the energy dissipated between them, Mark finally managed.

"She told me she still loves me..."

.

As Mark Sloan finally managed to say what he had on his mind all this time - Julia Canner reached up, brushing the already fallen tears from her face, pale and dumbstruck by the silently spoken words, pushing a deep swallow down her throat.

She stared at him, as he watched her - watched how everything suddenly fell into place. As she - as she could finally see it. See something - something she was too blind to notice earlier.

"She-" Julia murmured, taking a pause in order to take a deep breath and collect her thoughts. "-she told you that?" She asked incredulously, feeling as if the ground was crumbling up right beneath her feet. Her voice was hushed, the words barely coming out.

"Yes..." Mark affirmed, only blinking at her, not having any idea what else to say.

"And - I know it's...it's hard to take in, it was for me too, it just-"

"She -" Julia cut in on him."-she told you she still loves you?" She repeated coldheartedly, her voice shaking with each new word she spoke.

Mark could see how hard this was for her. He could see it in her eyes, in the way she spoke to him - but he also knew that she deserved the truth. No matter how much he wished that he could just lie -lie and make it all easier for the both of them.

"Yeah..." He trailed off, her desperate gaze killing him from the inside.

"Let me make this clear..." She exclaimed, her breath getting lost somewhere between her lungs and her mouth. "-an ex girlfriend tells you that - that she still loves you, and you - the first thing you have on your mind is - leaving me?" She asked loudly, anger and betrayal mixing up together somewhere along the way.

"No, no, you have to know it wasn't like that, it was-"

"It wasn't like that?" Dr. Julia Canner snapped in disbelief, her hands roaming through her hair in frustration. "What do you mean it wasn't like that, she - she talked to you last night - Jesus..." She inhaled deeply and her voice cracked as her words struggled to get out of her mouth "And now - now here you are, wanting to end our relationship?" Her tears then broke free in a wave, as her voice went silent within seconds. "Just - you are throwing it all in the trash for - for her?"

"Julia - you have to understand, it's more than that."

He wasn't that man anymore. The man who would lead someone on like that. But he couldn't help it - he couldn't help the fact that he was a man who was in love with another woman.

Mark sighed deeply, as Julia sucked in a breath of air, and felt it catch in her throat as she tried to utter the next few words.

"You - you were leading me on..." Julia choked out. "-all this time, and you - you made me believe that what we had was real, you made me believe that we can have a future together, that we..." She spoke desperately, instinctively taking a step back - away from him. Away from his lying face, his stupid self...

"No. No, listen to me." Mark tried, exhaling softly. "I never thought this would happen, I couldn't - I couldn't have known that any of this would be happening, I am sorry, but-"

"You told me you were over her." She told him bluntly, interrupting his words, her gaze making him feel as if he destroyed her - because that's what it seemed like.

It felt as if her whole world was falling apart around her body, as if she despised him, hated him...that was the amount of rage her gaze was giving away at that very moment - and what Mark didn't know was...that all of it was simply an understatement.

And he couldn't blame her.

He deserved every bit of that rage.

"You told me that - that I make you happy, that you are forgetting about the past, focusing on the future, yet -" She paused, as she closed her eyes, giving into the pain in her voice. "Here we are now..." Her voice was firm. "You're leaving me for her?"

Silence then lingered between them once again, as they tried to take deep breaths, neither of them knowing what to say next.

"I did think I was over her -" His eyes looked the same when they rose to meet her desperate gaze. "I really thought I was, I thought that I could leave it in the past, but I..." Mark paused one more time, getting lost within his pondering, not remembering what he wanted to say to her in the first place. "I'm sorry." He told her apologetically, looking back to the ground, regret still obvious within his eyes.

"You thought? Wow, very nice." Dr. Julia Canner scoffed loudly, hysterically laughing at the excuse, even through the tears. "Well, maybe you should have thought about that earlier." She exclaimed loudly, her emotions mixed up, tears flowing like a waterfall.

He hated seeing her hurt. He hated knowing that he was the reason of her feeling that way. But, he couldn't do anything about it now. Couldn't comfort her, couldn't help her - the only thing he could do was - he could watch her fall apart in front of him...that was the only thing.

"I - I never wanted to hurt you." Mark settled on, wanting to assure her. "You should know that, you should understand - the last thing I ever wanted to do was...was to hurt you." Mark whispered, not wanting to do this anymore - torture her any more that he had already.

"Then why did you?" Julia asked quietly.

It took him a couple of moments, but he finally admitted it.

"I can't help how I feel."

.

"What - what was I to you?" Julia asked him, breaking slowly by simply standing in front of him - but she had to know. "What am I to you?" Her voice was louder, firmer this time. "Someone to - occupy you? Distract you? Distract you until she realized she can't be without you, or something?" She asked, her voice rising with impatience.

"No." Mark told her, not even second guessing it. "Never, you were never...I care about you, Julia." He spoke honestly. "I care about you deeply...At one point I - I really was ready to start a life with you, I made myself believe that we could do it, be happy...You made me so happy." And she did. There was no doubt about that. "And you're perfect, you know? Perfect in every way possible. But-"

"Why are you choosing her over me then?" Julia asked him desperately, her eyes now red because of so much crying. "If I made you so happy, why are you...Why are you doing this to us?" She spoke through broken sobs, waiting for what he was about to say.

"I love her..." Mark trailed off, his voice sounding as if he hasn't slept in days.

She bit the inside of her lips as he finally let the words fall of his mouth, looking away as he kept on talking.

"And no matter how perfect or amazing you are - it will never be enough for me..." He told her quietly, her throat falling closed as she heard the just-spoken words.

She didn't know if she should ask this or not - but she did it anyway. He has done more than one stupid thing today - what's one for her too.

"You really love her don't you?"

Mark was bewildered by the question. She was not okay, not in the right state of mind - but he had to be truthful. No matter what - he had to be truthful with her.

"You have no idea..." He murmured, his voice almost silent as he spoke.

And that's when Dr. Julia Canner figured.

If he loves her as much as he says he does - then what's the point?

What's the point in trying? What's the point in fighting?

Just - what's the point?

Julia swallowed, feeling the bottoms of her eyelids fall at his words. She took a shaky breath before speaking, and when she did, she couldn't bare look him in the eye.

"Okay then." She nodded, wiping the tears from her cheek using the sleeve on her jacket. "We're...we're done, I can't - I can't keep discussing this, if - if you already made up your mind. I can't do this if I - if I am not what you want, I just-"

"No, wait...I really think we should-" Mark interrupted, not wanting to end it like this. Her leaving - just like that.

They should talk, they should talk more and she should know how he felt about this, about everything...

"No we shouldn't." She snapped, jumping scared only by hearing her own words.

"What I need right now -" Julia swallowed. "I just need to walk away, okay?" She whispered through her teeth. "Can you just let me walk away? I - I really can't do this..." She spoke as she was turning around, already walking away from him, wanting nothing else but to escape him. To run away. To hide and never show up again.

So he let her.

He let her go...He watched her disappear from his life forever.

And even if he knew that - Lexie was there, waiting for him, ready for their life together...Even that thought couldn't help him feel less guilty. Feel like less of an ass for doing what he just did.

Yet, at least - he had one happy, positive thing to keep him grounded.

And that was the love of his life.

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