Warning: Rated M for strong language and sexual content. Please be advise before reading.

A/N: Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 17 – Coming to Terms

Mark

"Are you feeling any better?" I asked.

Lexie's head lulled back against my shoulder as she snuggled closer to me that following morning. She had looked so sad the previous evening when she had showed up on my doorstep, but I could tell it was the last thing she had wanted to talk about.

"A little," she admitted. "It's just…last night when I got home…Jackson was there. He apologized, and he was sincere, but…"

"You're not ready," I guessed for her.

Her head bobbled up and down. "I know he meant good by it. I know he honestly believed that he was trying to help me or protect me, but even with that what he did to you and…"

My arm around her waist squeezed her a little tighter towards me as her voice started to crack. Even getting ready to talk about her father again was hard for her to have to talk about. Reliving memories that she clearly didn't want to have to talk about.

"Do you forgive him?"

Her fingers played with the edge of the sheet. "I want too..."

"Are you hesitating because of me?"

She nodded. "That's part of it. He was just relentless about you. Being with me could have meant your job, your reputation—"

"I don't care about any of it," I cut in silencing her worries. "I've made my career and showed my abilities and worth. I'm more concerned with you."

"It was going to come out eventually," she resigned.

"But it could have been on your terms. And you should have only had to tell those you wanted to tell."

She nodded, sitting up now until she leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees. She got like this every time she talked about her father. It was as if she was pulling away not only from him but from anyone else that could care about her too. Some sort of safety mechanism to not feel. I was easily able to recognize it, because it was something I had gotten good at over the last thirty years of my own life.

I let her pull away even if it was the hardest thing for me to do when she was clearly hurting. I sat up myself, but propped my pillow so it was leaning against the headboard, my hand coming up to her exposed back, letting it slowly rise and fall with gentle caresses to let her know I was still here. However, she wanted me.

"I think the part that upset me most, is even after he learned the truth…he still doesn't feel sorry about how he did it. That his reason justifies his means," she said into her arms.

"Because he cares," I said through gritted teeth.

It wasn't that he cared about Lexie that bothered me. Derek cared about Lexie. Even George—who was a bumbling idiot—cared about Lexie. I often suspected that the younger, attractive, and capable surgeon might have a crush on Lexie. The way he had approached the whole ordeal, ready to cut me down at the knees—if this was some altercation from medieval times—made it seem his outcry was far more passionate by maybe feelings he was having for her.

Not that I could blame the surgeon. Lexie was smart. Lexie was beautiful. As I had said to her father…she's perfect. Looking up to see her sitting on my bed, her beautiful creamy naked flesh just mere inches from me, still made it hard to fathom that she was choosing me too.

I was damaged. I was complicated. I often wanted to run more than I wanted to deal with the feelings and issues that had been bottling up inside of me. Hell, it still scared the ever-living crap out of me how intense my feelings were for the woman sitting in front of me, but I wasn't stupid to see that you maybe once in a lifetime you got an opportunity to have or feel something like I do for Lexie. I saw that with Meredith and Derek, and I would be stupid to not try. Even if that went against everything I had ever known. Ever felt.

The problem with what I felt…was that it didn't even anger me that Jackson might harbor feelings for Lexie. It didn't even anger me that he aired everything out in the open. What angered me was that the young intern who had only been here for the short time he had, was willing to believe just as everyone else did…I was a man without redemption. I was a man not worth believing could be better, do better, be the man that Lexie deserved.

"I get that he's my friend—"

"I think it's more than that," I cut in, my voice low, but showing the bit of uneasiness I felt.

Lexie's head perked up, turning so that it was now resting on her shoulder so she could look back at me. "You…you think he likes me like that?"

I swallowed, because I couldn't tell if her interest in that question was more shock that Jackson liked her, or that she wanted him to like her like that. He was attractive, and I noticed that the same woman who once set their eyes on me in that way were now looking at him like that. Not that it bothered me, not when I had Lexie who was leaps and bounds better than anyone in that hospital.

The part that was hard for me…was that Jackson was probably the better choice for her. He had the name, someone that could encourage and give her the additional boost in her medical career. He was obviously fiercely protective of her, closer to her age, and cared about her. He didn't come damaged like I did. The thought of her being attracted to him, wanting him, was slowly letting a cold blackness to want to seep in, but there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for Lexie's happiness. That meant letting her go if I knew him making her happy was really what she wanted.

I cleared my throat. "I do. I think his performance gave that away."

"Hmph."

She turned her head back so that it was resting against her elbows again, that sudden loss in being able to see her expression made my gut squeeze. Was the noise her contemplating because she was glad to hear this?

I was aware that my next words came out so unsure and unsteady. "Do you want him to like you that way?"

I heard her gasp, before her body twisted so she was facing me now. The sudden action, made the sheet fall from her body, and those full breasts of hers that I loved so much were now on display. The internal struggle became very real in me wanting to silence this conversation until I could ravish her again, and the need to know the answer about her feelings on the surgeon. I was sure that if I took her again, any thoughts about her and Jackson would be gone for now.

"No," she finally said, breaking me from my thoughts and decision. For now, my eyes would need to travel upwards for this conversation. "He's a good friend…that's it. Besides, I could never break girl code."

"Girl code?"

She nodded forcefully. "Yes. A true girlfriend would never encroach on another friend's territory."

My eyebrows shot up. "So, you're saying one of your friends has a thing for Jackson?"

Lexie bit her lip as if she just realized she had let me in on a secret that she wasn't supposed to disclose. "Um…"

Her cheeks flushed a bit, and she looked so cute. "It's Jo, isn't it?"

She made a face as if she just smelled something bad. "Ew. No. Jo is so stuck on Alex—even if she won't admit it—to notice anyone else."

As if she again just realized what she had said, her hand flew to her mouth, appalled that she just shared that information. I reached for her waist, no longer able to keep my hands to myself and pressed her against me. Well aware that her perky breasts were still on display.

"Now, were getting to the good stuff," I teased, the gruffness of my beard against her jawline as I nuzzled into her neck and placed a kiss there.

She moaned, turning her head to the side to give me better access. "I can't believe I just told you that," she said, her words coming out breathlessly as if she was saying them, but didn't really care.

I adjusted, so that she was now trapped underneath me, my body half looming over her, as her head hit my pillow her entire upper body visible to me. My eyes raked back over her naked breasts, her breath hitching as she no doubt saw directly in my eyes that familiar heat was returning. I was aware that she still didn't answer my question about Jackson, and how much I still wanted—no needed—that insurance that she wasn't interested and we were solid.

I needed to get her worked up, hot and bothered to the point that I figured I could get whatever information I needed without so much as a thought. I was a bastard like that, but hey, at least I was admitting it.

I trailed kisses all down her jawline, neck, and back to her collarbone, alternating between kisses, nipping, and sucking. My tongue easing the little sting from my bite. Her combination of a gasp, to a moan, and then a little breathless growl was elevating this from simple little exploring to a wanton need.

I kissed down her shoulder, making my way inward to her chest, letting her know exactly the path I was about to take. The moment I reached her full and perfect mound, I trailed kisses all around, consciously making sure that I gave attention everywhere but where I knew she wanted my mouth.

"So, who likes Jackson if it isn't you?" I asked.

She wiggled against me as I continued my slow teasing torture. She wanted my mouth on her nipple as she arched her back, thrusting her chest up at me. She bit down on her lip, trying her hardest to keep from letting go the answer, but the more I teased her, up the ante, the wilder she got. I loved a wild Lexie.

"Who likes Jackson? Is it April?"

She shook her head—more like a thrash to the side from the pleasure—still attempting to hold onto the information. I grinned, lowering my head until I took her nipple in my mouth for only a few seconds. By the time she gasped from my tongue, I had released it and the attention causing her to groan in frustration.

"Not fair," she panted.

"I never said I played fair."

Her eyes narrowed at me as she attempted to break through the haze and even the score. Her hand that was at her side had already made the attempt to reach for me, cupping my already growing hardness around her palm. I closed my eyes for a second, loving the feeling of her fingers around me. As it was, I was already getting harder and harder, especially with her gentle squeeze.

"You aren't the only one who can play dirty."

I grinned, as I leaned back down until my lips were next to her ear. "Careful Lex, my bite is bigger than my bark."

Her mouth moved to open, but her words were caught in her throat when I upped the ante not only sucking on her nipple, but used my other hand to reach down and gently graze against her folds. Her head lifted upwards and back against the pillow, her eyes closed, her hand falling from me so she could focus on the double pleasure I had just given her.

My lips were close to her ear again, as I continued my onslaught on her breast with my thumb and forefinger. "Who likes Jackson?"

Her bottom lip was sucked into her mouth, her teeth biting into it so tightly I thought she was going to make it bleed. "April. It's April, you damn beast!"

I laughed, giving her a full-on open mouth kiss. "See. That wasn't so hard."

She growled when I pulled back from the kiss. "You can't tell anyone."

I was back at her neck again. "Who would I tell?"

Her head turned to the side giving in to give me the access. "Callie…" she said in soft pleasurable sigh.

"Your secret's safe with me," I said each word in between kisses. I pulled back a second later, so that I was now looming on top of her, our faces mere inches from each other's. "And your interest in Jackson?"

Her lips spread into a grin, as both of her hands slowly moved from my waist flat against my skin, as they tortuously traced over my abs, chest, shoulders, and landed on either side of my face. Her brown eyes looked deeply into mine, beseeching me to understand her next words.

"No interest. Just you, big guy."

The words calmed every dreaded thought I had that morning, before I finally understood the meaning of best sex, I ever had by giving Lexie everything I had.

Lexie

I hated having to leave Mark to get ready and go to work. We were on different schedules, and after the entire hospital learned about that fact that we were in a personal relationship for the last month, we expected the stares, questions, and gossip we would face coming into the hospital the next day.

Since I mostly slept at Mark's place these days, I was able to shower and change into clean clothes without having to go back to the apartment. I wasn't lying when I told Mark, that I wasn't ready to just let things between Jackson and I go. I needed him to understand the ramifications Mark and I would now have to face because of what he had done.

I honestly didn't care what anyone else thought, which was new for me. I didn't doubt for one second—especially after Mark's earth-shattering performance this morning—our feelings for each other. I didn't care what anyone else thought, I old cared about him and I together. I just kept reminding myself that mostly everyone only cared enough about what they thought about Mark, and not what they really knew. What I knew.

There were only a few that I knew I could count on when it came to that. It was usually, Callie and Derek. Callie was his best friend, and even though we were friendly towards each other, it was still weird on my end knowing that she had been intimate with my boyfriend.

Boyfriend. It felt weird saying that word in my head. It also made me smile. Because Mark Sloan and I were in a relationship, and he was my boyfriend. I felt like I somehow had this power, this weapon that I could wield around the hospital, that anytime any woman even looked at Mark with some kind of googily eyes, it was easy to grin knowing that he was mine.

My smile faded though, when I thought about Derek. I knew that he cared about me, and though his intentions were honorable in wanting to worry about my wellbeing, they were misplaced. Mark was his best friend. They had grown up together, and even considered each other brothers. The thought that tension was formed between them and because of me, made me sick. After what Mark told me about the rift in their relationship because of Addison Montgomery, the last thing I wanted to happen was something similar because of me.

I could see how much Derek's words and actions had hurt and bothered Mark after we left Owen's office yesterday. He didn't want to talk about it last night, or this morning, but I could see the brewing anger within him. Moreover, the hurt that he was feeling that Derek would honestly believe that Mark would do something to hurt me. I wanted to talk to Derek about it, but I only figured that would make things worse. Derek was Mark's brother, and for now, I would have to let him handle it in the way he felt best.

I was glad by the time I got to the locker room; my roommates were no longer there. I felt bad that I was purposely avoiding them. I wasn't mad at April or Jo, but I wasn't ready yet to face the onslaught of questions they would have for me. Lexie would never sleep with her boss. I could only wonder what April was thinking now that she knew. Now, that they both knew I had been lying to them.

Once, I was dressed and ready to go, I raced off to find George. I could use the friendly face, and he was just the person I could use at this moment. By the time I caught up to him, I realized I couldn't have been more wrong to think that to begin with.

"Mark Sloan? Mark Sloan!" George said, for the umpteenth time, when I had approached him.

"Would you keep your voice down!" I whispered harshly, when we started attracting more attention than I cared looking at us that moment.

"How could you lie to me?"

"Lie to you?" I repeated dumbfounded.

He nodded, leaning in to try and keep his voice down. "I asked you if you were sleeping with Dr. Sloan, and you sold me this whole story that you weren't sleeping with him…when come to find out you were!"

I let out a long exhale. "Not that it is any of your business, but I wasn't sleeping or in a relationship with Mark until about a month ago."

He looked at me doubtfully. "I know how Mark Sloan is."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Oh, yeah? How is Mark Sloan? Kind? Protective? Sweet? Caring?"

George's mouth fell slightly open as if he would never consider any of those words and Mark's name in the same sentence. That seemed to aggravate me more than anything.

"No. He's a womanizing manwhore that only seems to care about himself."

I scoffed. "You don't know a single thing about him, George."

"I know enough. He's isn't a good man, Lexie. He's not the right man for you."

I grit my teeth, trying to count to ten in my head, but I didn't even make it to two. I was so sick and tired of everyone trying to tell me how to feel and what was best for me. Regardless of what everyone thought of Mark, he has been the only person that didn't treat me like some little girl or china doll. He might not always agree with my decisions—like with my father—but he trusted me enough to support me.

"That's really rich coming from you, George."

His expression faltered, as if he just had to do a double take to the words coming out of my mouth. His brows creased together as if you were taking a piece of paper to make a handheld fan.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I hated what I was going to do next, because I never liked to hurt anyone's feelings, but I was sick and tired of everyone putting down Mark. I was sick and tired of everyone looking at us like we were some horrible deadly disease by being together. Especially, since I also threw this in his face the last time this subject came up.

"Meaning you have no right to judge Mark when you yourself have had your own transgressions and done some pretty awful things," I snapped back.

His entire face froze, his bottom half of his mouth falling open. "Lexie…"

I softened my tone. "I'm not trying to be mean here, George. And I am not saying you're a bad guy. In the fact, I am trying to show you the opposite. You did a terrible thing when you cheated on Callie. You made a commitment to her, and you hurt her deeply." His eyes looked down to his feet, and I sighed. "You made a mistake, George. I know your sorry about it. What I am trying to say, is that I would never hold that one transgression over you. Because you cheating on Callie, that does not defy you."

"It seems too if you are bringing it up."

"I'm trying to prove a point. How do you think Mark feels when all people like you do is bring up his mistake?"

George let out a mirthless laugh. "Mistake?" He shook his head at me as if I was some silly girl that didn't understand. "More like mistakes, Lexie. Something he will continue to do, and that is what I worry about you. I don't want you to have to deal with the hurt that comes from being with him. How bad your heart will break when he inevitably breaks your heart and hurts you too."

I shook my head sadly. "You know, George, I expected this out of some others, but not you."

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm trying to protect you."

"No, you're not," I said, my hands falling to my side. My anger was leaving me, only to be replaced by sadness. "You're trying to make yourself feel better, and somehow even the score with Mark, because he's been mean to you and sometimes unnecessarily tough when he doesn't need to be. I had hoped the thought that maybe we were starting to become friends, that you would have understood. That you would have had my back. Instead, all I have been met with is you belittling me and my choices…as well as the man that I love. Yes, I love him," I held his gaze letting him know that I wasn't done. "I've had your back from day one. I defended you when everyone else only wanted to laugh at you and think you were pathetic. I defend you. Well, you know what…screw you, Dr. O'Malley."

I turned on my heels and walked away, no doubt leaving my resident just as stunned as I stormed away. I seemed to be doing that more often these days, and as I took each step further and further away, I was feeling more confident and prouder of myself.

Watch out world, a new confident Lexie Grey was here to stay.

Mark

"You need to fix this, and you need to fix it now," Addison snapped as she stormed up to me.

My brow lifted. "Fix what?"

"You. Derek. You and Derek."

I looked away from our daily surgery board and glanced at Addie. "I don't need to do anything. I'm not the one who has overstepped and stuck his nose and opinion where it doesn't belong," I bit back.

"What did you think would happen?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger, my very happy morning with Lexie already starting to be replaced with ugliness. I was aware of the stares and whispers as I strode into the hospital and made my way for the shift. I expected it. I couldn't help but think about what Lexie might have endured herself when she got in this morning, but I had years of practice of stares and whispers.

Of course, there was the more people who were shocked and gasped at the idea that I would actually attempt at a relationship. Everyone clearly remembered the last time I attempted to be monogamous with the very woman standing in front of me, only for that to crash and burn. Of course, no one knew the real truth. That it was Addie who had been the one to sleep around and break the pact. Everyone seemingly forgot that she had come barging out of the room with Alex on her heel after she slept with him. Everyone only remembered the fake rumor that I slept with some nurse, and that I was the evil man that somehow broke Addison's heart.

I could take the heat. I had made the decision to let Addie out of pact, and I chose to ensure that no one thought bad of her. As it was, only Lexie and Derek knew the real truth, and even if I wanted to let out the secret to attempt to please others or try and make it look better about Lexie and I being together, everyone already had their mind made up about me. Apparently, Addie had as well.

"I would think that my best friend would be happy for me. Would see that Lexie makes me happy and want to be a better man," I scolded.

"Mark, she is going to be his sister—"

"I don't care if she is the Dalai Lama. We're two consenting adults and we want to be together."

She sighed. "I'm not saying I don't agree with you."

"Then leave it there, Addie. If you ever claimed to care about me, or want to be my friend, then leave it there."

She gave a long despairing sigh. "Fine. I won't say another word. But I am going to be selfish right now, because this isn't about you and Lexie and you, Lexie, and Derek. This is about my brother, who is dying. I need you and Derek focused. I need you both at your best. So, if you cared or loved me at all…I need you to be the bigger person and go and fix this."

I gave her a long look, and then nodded. As much as I didn't want to have a conversation with Derek right now, she was right. We still had a job to do. This wasn't about our personal differences. We were doctors. We needed to save lives. Archer deserved our absolute best, and that started with airing our grievances and hopefully putting this behind us.

I left Addison, after she was so kind enough to let me know that Derek was in practice lab working on test dummies for how we would remove the tumors and worms from Archer's brain. Up until my life had become the hospital's number one gossip magazine, we had been working extremely well together and in sync when it came to working on this case.

As I rounded the corner to the lab, I could see through the blinds that Derek was working on the dummy, his face concentrating before getting frustrated when the red light on the dummy lighting up, the computer screen beeping. I took that moment to use the back of my knuckles to wrap on the back of the door.

Derek looked up from his dummy, his expression turning into a sour twist when he saw me standing in the doorway. He met my gaze with stony silence, which was better than the two of us yelling the moment, I walked in the door.

I was still livid with Derek. Livid that he had ever thought he could tell me what to do and how to live my life. Madder with myself that for a moment, I allowed him too, and almost let it ruin my chance with Lexie. That I almost let myself let her go to please him and his wishes.

I always had his back. Even when I thought he was being selfish—like pushing and leaving Addison instead of just telling her he wanted out—or just being plain mean by constantly bashing me…but I still supported him anyway. He wanted to divorce Addison and be with Meredith…I was by his side. He wanted to buy land and build a ginormous house in the woods…I was there with him first to see the plot of land. Why was it so hard to just want and wish for that same courtesy in return?

I shoved my hands in my pocket, but still stayed in the doorway. "I was hoping we could talk."

His eyes were still focused on the dummy, but his hands holding the tools stilled. "Now you want to talk?"

I bit back my retort, doing my best to not let my temper end this before it even truly got started. I walked into the room, and shut the door behind me.

"Derek, Archer deserves the two best doctors on his case. Whatever is going on between us personally, we need to squash that and squash it now."

Derek threw down his tools and headlamp, and turned to face me. "So, now I am supposed to be lectured on professionalism by you."

My jaw clenched. "What is your problem?"

Derek managed an affronted look. "My problem? Are you seriously going to sit there and act as if you did nothing wrong?"

"Yes, because I didn't do anything wrong."

Derek's eyes narrowed at me. "And that is the problem with you, Mark. You can't even seem to deduce what is right from wrong."

"Excuse me?" My blood was boiling at this point. "So, now Lexie and I being together is somehow wrong?"

"She deserves better than meaningless hookups and a broken heart," he rebutted.

"Yet you somehow miss the fact that we are in a relationship and that I am in love with her," I shouted.

He snorted. "Right. You love her. Just like you were madly in love with my ex-wife. I see how that turned out."

"You know exactly how that turned out. Addison didn't want me. She broke the pact. I was all in."

He licked his lips. "Except you really weren't in. You said it yourself that you liked the idea and that when you looked back, you didn't love her. You will do the same to Lexie, not caring who has to clean up your mess afterwards."

"What the hell are you talking about? When have you ever had to clean up my mess?"

"How about the time you almost got kicked out of high school for sleeping with the principal's daughter. Or the time I had to step in because my father wanted to kill you after learning you slept with my sister." He was thrusting a finger up with each thing he listed. "How about the time I had to drag your sorry ass out of a drunken stupor so you didn't miss your medical boards exam. And finally, how about the time you slept with my ex-wife!"

I let out a frustrated sigh. "It always comes back to Addie. No matter how many times I apologize and no matter how many times you tell me you have forgiven me and let it go…it all comes back to that."

"You were supposed to be my best friend," he exclaimed.

"So, were you!" I shot back. "You know, I am so tired of you acting like you were the only person hurt. As if you did nothing wrong in that whole situation." He went to open his mouth, but this time I continued on before he could. "You betrayed the both of us first. You walked out on us, our friendship, our practice. You betrayed your oath to Addie and our friendship long before I did."

Derek's face took a redden hew to it. "Are you trying to tell me that end justifies the mean?"

I rubbed my hand with my beard. "Of course not. What I am trying to say, is that I am sick of you acting as if you are up here," –I said my hand way above my head "—to justify that what you did was any better. You want to act like my lifestyle is beneath you. I never lied to the woman I slept with. I never promised them anything more than what they were given. Let's not forget the fact that the moment you got here you slept with Meredith, you didn't even have the decency to tell her you were married until Addie showed up on your blissful doorstep."

"How dare you!"

"Yeah, go ahead. Bring it back to how I am some awful friend and horrible excuse of a man. It's easy to constantly beat me down instead of taking a look at your own mistakes. Your own faults."

Derek's lips pressed into a hard line, his eyes narrowing into slits. "Is that where we are at. Let's air whose grievances makes the other the worst person and friend?"

I shrugged. "You tell me. It's the only thing I ever hear from you."

His mouth dropped open. "That is not true."

I nodded, my shoulders slumping. "It is true. You just did it again. I will always be that guy that you had to take in and feel sorry for. I'm just the guy you keep around to make yourself feel better about, because I don't know how to let myself be happy or feel worthy of anything."

All of the anger seemed to fizzle out of Derek. "Is that what you really think?"

"What else am I supposed to think?" Derek looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. "You don't ever think I am more than capable of being more than some meaningless hookup. You can't seem to look past one of the greatest mistakes of my life by sleeping with Addie. No matter how much I try and prove myself to you, that I could be the man that apparently Lexie sees…you never will see him."

The next words out of Derek's mouth shocked me more than anything.

"I'm sorry," he said, lowering his head.

Never in the thirty something years we had been friends together, had Derek ever apologized to me. Even if he had been wrong. Even if I had a sleuth of reasons to point out why he was, he had never said those two words I knew I had always longed to hear.

"Thank you," I said.

He looked up at me, and this time…I could see something was different. This wasn't just something he was saying to just end the conversation and make it all go away. I could see that he really meant it.

"Mark, I never thought you were a charity case. Did I feel sorry for you? Hell, yes. I would think anyone with a heart would. I know your parents weren't easy on you, and after your father left, I was just as mad for you as my parents were. You're my best friend."

He looked away, pulling out a stool and took a seat. This was the first time that I could ever remember that Derek was actually sharing his feelings and telling me what he really thought.

"I guess…I guess I thought in my own way I was being protective of you. I swear, I never once thought you were a charity case." He rubbed the back of his neck, and blew out a breath. "I realize now…I didn't see that all these years all I had been doing was beating you down and treating you wrong. I never begrudged your lifestyle. It may not have been the one I wanted, but I never thought you less because of it. If I was being honest, sometimes I wish I could have been more like you in that regard."

"And yet, most of my life, I wished I could be more like you," I admitted.

His eyebrows shot up. "You did?"

I nodded. "Yes. I think it was why I wanted to make things with Addie work so bad. Even if I knew from the start that wasn't going to be the case. I wanted to be more like you for once, and not just walk-through life as if mine didn't matter."

"Do you really believe I don't think you or your feelings don't matter?"

I shrugged again, because as glad as I was that we were finally talking, I felt too exposed. As if someone had just cut me open on the operating table and everyone was looking in and judging, not sure if I was someone that could be saved.

"I don't know," I said honestly. "I want to believe that when you say things sometimes it's really because you're trying to be protective, but even when I open up and I put everything out in the open…you still seem to not believe me."

Derek drew in a gigantic lungful of air. "You love Lexie, don't you?"

I answered without hesitation. "I do."

"And she truly loves you?"

I laughed. "God knows why…but she says she does."

"I guess anyone willing to say it in front of the hospital the way she did, must really mean it." he pondered.

"She means the world to me. I know that sounds crazy since we haven't been together that long. It's hard to explain, but she does. I would never hurt her."

Derek gave me a long appraising look. "I believe you," he said. He smiled. "Just don't hurt her. If you do, I will have to kick your ass."

I grinned. "No way I am going to give you an opportunity to try." We laughed; all the tension now gone. "Are we good? Friends?"

Derek stepped forward; his hand outstretched. "Yeah, we're good. Brothers," he clarified.

"Well, in that case," I said, swiping his hand out of the way and pulled him in to a brotherly hug. "Glad to have you back."

"Glad to be back."

Once I released him, it was the lightest I had been in a long time. I had told Lexie before that I had put all those feelings to rest, but the truth was I just had shoved them down. For the first time in over thirty years, I finally felt as if I had expelled some of the darkest demons inside out of me, and that only made me that much more excited about what the future would hold.

"How about we work on the dummy and get these tumors and worms out of Archer's brain?"

"I'd like that," said Derek.

Lexie

It was stupid.

Stupid to be back in the supply closet, trying my hardest to not let the damn of tears fall. First with Jackson, now Mark and Derek were at odds, and now my own resident had turned against me. It shouldn't matter to me what any of them thought, but I hated it. And I hated them for not at all caring about my feelings or what I wanted.

The door behind me opened, as I frantically wiped my tears from my eyes and tried my best to pretend, I was there for something. I grabbed the closest thing next to me—which happened to be a catheter—but I could make it work. I could come up with another lie.

"Just grabbing some supplies," I said out into the open, my voice cracking on a couple of syllables.

I heard the door shut closed behind me, letting out another breath trying to push back all evidence of why I had been here in the first place.

"I thought you could use a friend. Better yet…maybe a sister."

I turned abruptly, seeing Meredith stand before me, in her scrubs and white lab coat. Her hands were in her pockets and her face read the expression that she knew all to well why I had been in here. More importantly that she herself had been here before.

The catheter was still in my hand, and right now it was the only thing making me feel somewhat grounded. "George told you, didn't he?"

Meredith shook her head. "No. I won't lie that I was passing by and may have overhead."

"Overheard?"

She grinned. "Ok, may have stopped to hide in the alcove and listen in to the entire conversation," she admitted. The silence in the room between us was deafening. "You weren't wrong in what you said."

I looked up in surprise. "Really?"

"That surprises you?"

I shrugged. "It seems almost everyone has something to say. Some reason why Mark and I shouldn't be together."

She came closer into the room, until she was standing next to me, her back leaning against the shelf behind us. "I think it's because they are worried about you, because of Mark's past."

My eyes closed. "You too? Because if you are…I really don't have it in me."

Meredith's hand reached out until she placed it on my arm. "I'm not here to tell you that you're making a mistake, or that what you feel for Mark isn't real."

I looked over at her hopeful for the first time since everyone found out the truth about Mark and I. "You're not?"

She shook her head. "When I found out Derek was married—still married—to Addison, I was called all kinds of names. Homewrecker, floozy, skank….it went on an on. Especially, when Derek and I still wanted to be together."

"How did you deal with it?" I asked.

Meredith looked down at her lap. "I did my best to ignore it. I am not going to lie…it was hard at times. Derek and I wanted to be together, even when he was trying to do the honorable thing with Addison, but that need and want to be together was just too strong. Even after Addison was out of the picture, the back and forth between Derek and I…a lot of people already had their minds made up about us. Everyone expected our relationship was doomed to fail."

"But you proved them wrong," I argued.

"Well, we did break up a few times," she corrected. "Even my friends all tried to warn me that Derek would end up breaking my heart and that we would never make it. Well, except Mark. He was really the only one who has been supportive of whatever Derek and I wanted. As long as we were happy," she said.

"That sounds like Mark," I commented.

Meredith stretched out her legs until they were completely straight. I followed suit in the same manner, relaxed for the first time today. It was moments like this that I was glad our relationship had been blossoming and we were very much growing on the sisterly front.

"Did you know that the two of us formed, created, and were the only two founding members of the Dirty Mistresses club?"

I laughed. "No."

A wry smile reached her lips. "Mark was the only one at the time to have my back. I'm not saying that I may fully not be worried about you two in this relationship—it's hard when you have a past like his—but I also understand that he shouldn't be judged on that alone. I saw how protective he was of you. I can see how much he cares about you. He gave me a chance when no one else did, so I am returning the favor." She paused. "But if he hurts you…I will cut off his balls and throw them in the first available body of water I can find."

I laughed. "Deal."

We sat there for a few moments in silence. After a minute, the back of her hand bumped my leg. "About Thatcher…"

"I'm handling it," I said cutting in, so she didn't think she needed to have to deal with this issue either.

She shook her head. "You shouldn't have to do it on your own, Lexie. I'm glad you told Mark. I am glad he's been with you…but you still don't need to do it on your own."

"I guess your right. I just wanted to prove that I could handle it. That I could get him to reason. That maybe I was enough for him to want to fight through his grief and sadness," I confessed.

"You've done enough. He needs to make that decision on his own. If he can't or won't…then it's on him."

I shook my head sadly. "I know. It's just…"

"He's your father," she guessed.

"Yeah. I know that isn't an excuse for him to have behaved the way he has…I just hoped he would want to fight a little harder."

She shrugged. "Maybe he will. You didn't give up in hoping I would want to bridge a relationship with you…and look at us now."

I laughed. "Hiding out in a supply closet to talk about our drama?"

Meredith's shoulder bumped into mine. "Getting to know my sister. Whose kind of a badass when I come to think of it."

"That means a lot to me, Mer. Thanks."

She tapped my leg. "Come on…let's get back out there and tell anyone who has anything not nice to say to kiss our ass."

Mark

"Smells good in here," Lexie said, once she entered into my apartment.

My shift was over before hers, and since Lexie had a case that was going to take a couple of hours longer, I had texted her to just pop on over once her shift was over.

"Thought I would try the new Italian place right around the corner," I said. "Is that ok?"

Lexie hung up her coat, dropped her bag, and walked over into the kitchen wrapping her arms around my waist so that her cheek was resting on my back. I felt like I could breathe now that she was here safely in my arms.

"Sounds perfect."

My hands came down to hers that were around my waist, unhooking them, so I could turn and face her directly. My arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close to my body. Her cheek now rested against my chest, my chin on top of her head as I held her a little tighter. She looked as if she had the whole weight of the world on her shoulders, and I hated it. I wanted her to feel safe and protected.

"You, okay?" I asked.

"I am now," she said into my chest. She pulled back slightly at her next words. "I spoke with Meredith today. She gave us her blessing. Said she was happy for us."

I looked down at her with a bit of a smile. "That's great. I spoke with Derek today."

Her face turned hopeful. "You did?"

I nodded. "I did. We had some words, but we are good now. Better than we have in a long time."

She beamed, resting her head against my chest. "I'm so glad. I was worried. I didn't ever want to come between the two of you."

My hands traveled up her back, gently rubbing there. "It was never directly about you, Little Grey. We just needed to finally air some of the feelings we had bottled up for a long time now."

She pulled back again, looking up at me. "And you're really, ok?"

I nodded, and bent down to place a soft kiss to her lips. "We're ok. In fact, he mentioned us coming over for dinner sometime."

Her face lit up. "I would love that."

After a minute her face fell. "What is it?" I asked.

Her eyes drifted down until she was staring directly at my chest and not in the good or sexy way. "I got into a fight with George. I basically told him to go and screw himself."

My eyes went wide in surprise. She laughed a little when she saw my reaction. "I can't imagine that he took that well."

"He was so unfair to you. He was so closed minded and only wanted to see the negative about us. Just like half the hospital," she said, turning away from me now towards the sink.

My hands came back down on her arm and gently turned her so that she was facing me again. "Lex…"

"It's not right," she exclaimed. "I had his back since day one. Even against you when I thought you were mean. I never judged him over cheating on Callie. I never made him feel he was anything but the good guy he was even when he made mistakes. Why couldn't he just see my side of things?"

I took her hands in my own. "Not everyone is as loving and forgiving as you."

"It's human decency," she muttered.

I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her to me. "People will come around…you will see. We will show all of them."

She snuggled into me further. "How are you the calm one and I am the one that's a mess?"

A chuckle started low in my chest. "Because I really don't care what any of them think about us or anything. I only care about you and what you think." I waited until she pulled back and looked into my eyes. "And what I want to know…is are you still sure about us?"

"Of course!"

I leaned in about to kiss her but just stopping before our lips met. I could feel her eyelashes open and close against my cheek. "Then it's all that matters," I said softly.

I kissed her then, her arms coming up and around my neck. "Have I told you today, that I love you?" she asked once we pulled back.

I grinned against her lips. "No. But you can always tell me again."

She smiled. "I love you."

My lips spread wider until I couldn't stretch them any farther. "I love you, too." I kissed her again, and then pulled back. "Come on, let me feed you. I got you pasta and eggplant. Your favorite."

Lexie looked at the food, and then back at me, her arms wrapping around me tighter. "I'm not hungry right now…for that."

I growled at the mischievousness in her eyes. "Oh, yeah? And what exactly are you hungry for?"

She bit her lip, which almost made me take her right then and there. "You."

I kissed her again. "The food will get cold."

She looked up at me her eyelashes opening and closing softly. "You do have an oven you know. We can always reheat later."

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this last chapter.