Each Moment Lost to the Past

Chapter 17

Bella's POV

I stare at the two motorcycles, stripped to their skeleton with parts scattered across the ground in some form of organization that I just can't see. "Well?" Jacob asks, an eager gleam in his eyes as he bounces from one foot to the other. "What do you think?"

"I think that it's your bucket list we seem to be doing, rather than mine," I snort.

"What? No, of course not," he says unconvincingly before perking up even more. "It's on your bucket list to see me get married, right? Well, to do that, I need a girl, and I hear that girls really like guys who have motorcycles. But this is totally for your benefit. Completely. Promise."

I laugh at the boy's hopeful and falsely earnest look. My eyes drift over to the car he's been working on slowly over the past year.

"Shouldn't you finish a project, first, before starting a new one?" I point out, but he just waves the concern away.

"Nah, this one will be way quicker. Besides, I can't really work on it without the parts I need. I've already looked at the bikes, and most of theirs are good. I can easily find the ones one I need at the junkyard. They could be finished by my birthday next month."

"You, do know I'm not allowed to drive anymore, right?" I check. It means less freedom and having to be chauffeured around everywhere, but it's the only thing Charlie's ever insisted on. I don't mind it, though, because it would be very bad if I suddenly slipped into the past while driving. Despite this new medication seeming to work, it's best not to chance it.

"So, you ride on the back of mine until you feel like risking it," he shrugs. "Please, Bella?"

I hesitate, debating another moment, before inevitably giving in. "Of course I'll do this with you, Jake. But I'm not driving, myself."

"Yes!" he cheers, pumping a fist. "Yes, okay, that's fine!" If I said no, he'd probably do it anyway, either by himself or with Embry and Quil who might be even more immature than he is. When all three are together, the boys seem to get progressively dumber, only urging the others' stupidity on rather than try to curb it. Jake appears to urge my stupidity on, too, but at least it's to a lesser degree.

"I'm so going to end up dead before this brain tumor ever gets the chance to kill me."

…..

"Should I be worried that you are leading me progressively deeper into the woods where no one will hear my screams?" I trail after my much more coordinated girlfriend as she practically dances between the trees. She spins around a thinner one, using her body weight to carry her back towards me, a mischievous smile curling the corners of her lips.

"It depends on what kind of screaming you're worried I'll pull out of you."

I shove her head away, blushing, but she just makes another spin around the tree and is back in my personal space. "Are you scared of me, Bella?" she asks, teeth looking extra sharp in her grin.

"You terrify me," I admit easily, and watch as her entire face softens. I step around her, leading the way deeper into forest. "But not in the way that I suspect you're bringing me out here so no one will ever find my body. Now if it were Edward luring me out here, or your sister, then I might fear for my life."

"Good instincts," Alice says casually, and when I glance over, I can't tell if she's joking or not. She looks over, sees my expression, and smiles slightly as she hooks her arm through mine like we might be strolling through the hallways at school rather than dense underbrush. "At this point, it is very unlikely that they'd harm you. I'd kill them if they did."

I look down at the girl doubtfully, taking in her small stature. "While the sentiment is sweet, I don't think you'd be able to hurt anyone. Maybe Edward- he looks kind of girly- but Rosalie would destroy you."

"Hey, I could be very dangerous!" Alice gasps, ripping away from me in a show of obvious, dramatized, offense.

"But you're so tiny," I tease, stepping closer to make our height difference that much more noticeable. It isn't by much, just a few inches, but it's enough for short jokes to be relevant and common. "Even I could probably take you." Well, maybe not.

"Please," Alice scoffs, an amused smile tugging at her mouth. "All I'd have to do is look at you and you'd go 'all frozen deer in the headlights' on me. You so cannot take me. Well… at least in a fight." She looks up at me beneath her dark lashes, and as if to prove her point, my entire body stills- even my heart for a moment.

She tilts her head, a triumphant, devious, grin splitting her face before she steps away to casually continue down the path.

"That-" my voice cracks, and I shake the innuendo hard from my brain. "That's not fair. You know how you affect me. It's like some sort of hypnotizing powers. You're a witch. I'm under your spell or something."

"That's why I'll always win, love," she calls over her shoulder, and I have to hurry to catch up. Her hand immediately clasps mine when I get near enough, and she smiles oh so gently at me- so different from when she's making mischief. "I have power over you," she acknowledges. "But what you haven't seemed to realize yet, is that you have power over me, too. Ask the world of me, and I'll find a way to give it to you."

My heart thunders in my chest, and it can't be healthy for the organ to constantly be in overdrive. It hardly ever gets a break when Alice is near, and I only find myself wanting to be near her more the longer I know her.

I tug our clasped hands, just wanting to kiss her, but she pauses a millimeter from my lips. "Wait," she whispers, cool breath ghosting my chin. "You haven't even seen why I brought you out here yet."

"I really hope it's to kiss me senseless," I utter just as lowly.

She laughs, pulling away halfheartedly. "Partly. But that can wait for a moment; we're already here."

I instinctively look around, noticing for the first time the gap in the trees that open up to a field of lush green grass that is so long, it reaches to my hips. I gasp, noticing the string of fairy lights outlining a worn path of flattened grass. It's some unfathomable force that compels me to follow the trail all the way to the center of the field where a large, thick, quilt is laid out on the grass with even more fairy lights outlining it, and some are also twisted and draped over a picturesque picnic basket. There are even fake, battery operated candles scattered over the blanket, and my only regret in life is that it's not dark enough yet to really appreciate the lights. But then, if it were dark, I wouldn't be able to see all the different colored flowers and the green greenness of the grass, or see so clearly Alice's smiling, expectant, expression as she watches for my reaction.

"I'm going to kiss you senseless, now," I tell her.

"Okay," she manages, barely, before I tug her sharply into me and claim her lips. It's several minutes before I manage to pull myself away, only to ease down onto the blanket. She watches with dark eyes that make me shiver.

"So, who helped you with this?" I ask, waving at all the lights, basket, and blanket.

Alice blinks slowly at me before finally sinking down at my side. "Esme made the food, of course. Emmett brought it all out here to set up while I brought you, and Jasper supervised Emmett to make sure he didn't go over bored or try to slip us any surprises."

"I'll have to thank them next time I see them, then," I murmur, brushing a chaotic whisp off my girlfriend's brow. "Say, have you been watching and reading romances behind my back?"

"Maybe a little," she admits, smiling. "Do you want to eat?" She piles a dozen different, typical, picnic foods in front of me- far more than I can eat, myself- but she doesn't reach for any of it.

"You don't want anything?" I ask, plucking another strawberry from one of the Tupperware containers.

"I already ate. Weird diet, remember? It's not really something I should bring on a date," she evades, dropping her chin onto her fist.

"Really? I was picturing something like you can't have wheat, or whey, or a bunch of other stuff that's added to all foods these days."

"More like I'm on a completely liquid nutrition regimen."

"Sounds complicated," I sigh, flopping back into the blanket as Alice huffs wryly.

"More than you know."

All-in-all, it's the perfect date. When the sun goes down, the little fairy lights strung up everywhere are even more breathtaking- like little galaxies hanging in the trees and floating around the blanket like I am submerged by a sea of stars. The clouds hide the real ones in the sky, but lightning-bugs take to the air- so I watch the perfect universe Alice introduced me to.

"I should get you home," Alice whispers into the dark, long after the last of twilight threw the world into darkness and wonder.

"I don't ever want to leave," I tell her, turning my face and watching as a glowing firefly alights on a strand of Alice's hair.

"I don't either," Alice murmurs, eyes glinting vivid gold each time the little bug flickers. "But your dad will worry. I told him I'd have you home by midnight. You know he'll be waiting up for you."

I sigh as Alice rolls smoothly to her feet and pulls out the two flashlights that will aid us on our way home. Even after leaving the field, the lightning bugs still light up the forest, flickering in and out of view like will-o'-the-whisps.

…

Jacob woops loudly as he launches himself from the cliff, spinning, and the air almost seems reluctant to let him fall before gravity plunges him toward the gray sea. More excited exclamations follow him as he hits the water with a larger splash than would make for a comfortable hit.

I smile as he comes up to the surface sputtering, and Embry slaps him hard on a bare shoulder before they both start swimming towards the cliff-face. My wet shirt clings uncomfortably to my skin, but I'm content to watch my friends shove and drag each other back into the water as they both, at once, try climbing the rope that leads to the quick path back up to the cliffs.

We aren't the only ones here today, but the larger group of teenagers seem comfortable sharing the cliffs with the rising high schoolers and their outsider friend.

My legs hang over the edge, happy to let the rowdy boys have as many turns as they want as I soak up the rare sun and the sea salt dries sticky on my skin and hair.

"Bella?" a surprised and uncertain voice calls, and I look up from my observatory ledge. A girl stands there, vaguely familiar, and for a moment I spiral, wondering if she's another person I've seen in my dreams. Only, no, that doesn't make sense. She knows me. There is recognition in her eyes as she fully sees my face, and her expression relaxes into nostalgic affection.

"Leah," I say, placing her in my memory. One of the people I used to play with along with Jacob, Quil, and Embry.

"Hey," she smiles. "You're still hanging out with those idiots?" She says it with amusement and affection. Despite their growing apart, it's not an insult aimed at the boys, and I return her friendly smile.

"From my experience, it's a trade off from one type of idiot to another. It really depends on what kind of idiot you prefer, or more likely, can handle."

"True," Leah laughs, glancing over at the older group of teens just as goofy as the younger ones.

I search for something to say, anything. Anything that won't make it completely obvious that, to me, this is my first time meeting her. Quil and Embry know, but I only just recently told them. They are my friends, now. Leah was Before Bella's friend.

"So, I heard you went and got yourself a boyfriend," I say, hoping my discomfort isn't as obvious as it feels.

"Yeah," Leah's grin becomes completely love-struck, and my unease melts away. "Sam," she nods to one of the older boys, grin wide and unrestrained as he gets ready to make a running leap.

"You look happy," I comment.

She turns to me, dark eyes shining with golden flecks that inevitably make me think of my own girlfriend. "I am," she says.

When it comes time to leave, Leah stops me with a warm hand touching my wrist.

I give a sharp gasp when the world suddenly spins away without warning. One second, I'm on top of the world, and the next I see five young children (two girls and three boys) darting through the trees, giggling as voices call out to them, trying to lure them back home. From the smell of the ocean, to overwhelming pine. From the warm sun on my skin, to the chilly drizzling rain.

Then I blink and am back on the cliffs, staring into Leah's earnest eyes, completely unaware of the brief trip I took. I wait a moment, tense, for the inevitable seizure to overwhelm me in front of all these strangers, but nothing happens. Other than a suddenly painful headache, nothing happens

"Hey, Bella," Leah ventures expectantly (only moments have passed since she touched me), "It was really nice seeing you again. Maybe we can hang out some time and catch up?"

I watch her hopeful expression and know that it's a genuine offer. One she hopes I will say yes to. But is it really fair, now that I know any friendships I might make now won't last long, to make new ones? Once I'm dead, I'm dead. It'll be the people I leave behind that feel the loss.

I force my muscles to relax and manage to drag an honest feeling grin to my face, despite my headache. "That'd be great," I say truthfully, but knowing I'll never make the effort. Leah seems really cool- like someone who can be a great friend- but it's probably best if I keep my distance.

A/N: Whelp... Since the last chapter, I kind of spiraled and got really sucked into the idea of turning this into a book. I'm now almost 60 pages in... I'm kind of excited about this guys.

I still promise not to forget this story. More to come next week.

Please let me know what you think of this chapter!

~Silver~