A/N: There is a lot of discussion of Bella's childhood in this one. If that is a sensitive topic for you, please proceed with caution.

All I did was try my best

This the kinda thanks I get?

Unrelentlessly upset

They say these are the golden years

But I wish I could disappear

Ego crush is so severe

God, it's brutal out here

~ Olivia Rodrigo, Brutal

BPOV

I spent a majority of my adult life suppressing any memory of my childhood. For the last six months I had attempted to only bring out those memories in therapy and always made sure to close them away whenever I left Doctor Stanley's office. Maybe it wasn't the best way to go about things, but it was working for me for now. Tonight, though, I sat on the balcony outside of my new bedroom in my pristine new house and searched through every memory I had.

There had to be one, I thought to myself. I had to have one good, untainted memory from the first eighteen years of my life. One moment where I was even a fraction as happy as I was right now. Because if I didn't have one, it was just… pathetic.

I had been sitting out here for an hour, curled up on a lounge chair more comfortable than my old bed, and had come up with absolutely nothing.

My eyes scanned the area in front of me, from the glow illuminating from the pool to the perfectly manicured tree line surrounding the house. Moving day was never supposed to be easy, but the day couldn't have gone smoother. The house was beautiful, and about ninety percent done by the time we walked in this morning. The fridge was stocked, sheets were clean, beds were made.

It was perfect.

I was happy. Genuinely happy for apparently the first time in my entire life.

As sad as I was that it had taken me twenty-three years to get here, I was here. The fact that I had no memory of happiness that came close to this made me hate my parents even more. Quite the feat when I already despised them. Because if they had ever given me an ounce of happiness, I would know what to do with it. How to enjoy it without letting the fear of it slipping away ruin the moment.

"There you are," Edward's voice was quiet as it came from the bedroom behind me. He walked around the corner, kneeling beside my lounge chair. "You okay?"

I turned my head in his direction, pulling the blanket in my lap around my shoulders. The best I could give him was a nod.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I…" I hesitated, biting my lip. "I don't think I've ever been this happy before."

An almost smile tugged at his lips. "Scooch."

I scooted over to the far side of the lounge chair, opening my blanket up for Edward to get underneath. The movement frustrated a very tired Lady who had been at my feet, and she pranced off to the bedroom.

Edward's arms wrapped around me, his lips pressing to the top of my head as it ended up on his chest.

"Me either," he said quietly after a few peaceful moments.

"Hmm?" I mumbled, too comfortable to know what he was talking about.

"I don't think I've ever been this happy before either."

I twisted around to look at him, my chin pressed against his sternum. "Really?"

He nodded. "I have you. You're the last thing I see every night before I fall asleep, and the first thing I see when I wake up. You have my ring on your finger which means that's how all of my days will end and begin from now on. I have two happy, healthy children that I've gotten to spend more time with in the last few months than in the last seven years. I've got a house that finally feels more like a home than a prison. All things that make me… really fucking happy."

"So… it doesn't make me pathetic that I didn't know I could be this happy before?"

I watched his eyes tighten, only for a moment before he fixed his expression. A warm hand came up and cupped my cheek. "There is absolutely nothing pathetic about you."

I let out a sigh, leaning up to press my lips against the slight stubble covering his chin. I mumbled an I love you against his skin a moment before his lips met mine. It was a lazy kiss, the kind I could enjoy for hours and never get tired of. My fingers ended up knotted in the hair at the base of his neck while Edward's free hand ended up sneaking underneath the Tonight Show sweatshirt I had on.

A muffled knock barely broke through my haze, but it was at the same time that Edward's hand slid up my abdomen so it was quickly forgotten. Until Lucy's voice broke through the haze for both of us.

"Dad? Bella?"

Lucy rounded the corner just as Edward sat up, making us a little more presentable.

"Mase and I were going to break in the movie room. Want to join?"

Edward looked down at me, a dozen different questions in his eyes. At my nod he stood up, pulling me with him as we followed Lucy toward the movie room. It was a cozy little theater tucked away in the basement. Instead of typical recliners, there were a few rows of the most comfortable couches you could imagine.

Lucy and Masen made themselves comfortable in the front row, bickering over what movie to watch. Edward leaned against the corner of the couch behind them, pulling me against his chest. His arms were firm around my waist, giving me a little squeeze.

"You okay?" he asked again.

I nodded. I was much more than okay.

…Closure…

Our street probably only had about half a dozen houses on it. The road was windy and each home had a good amount of land surrounding it to give the homeowners privacy. Maybe half a mile up from us was Heidi and Felix's home. It was a little more modern than our new place, and didn't give off the same homey feel that ours already did. Or maybe I was just biased.

I fidgeted with my shirt as we walked up toward their door. Rosalie had joked about me needing to fill my new closet, but she was right. It looked a little pathetic with what I had in it, and as I was getting ready this morning I realize all of my clothing made me look like a college student. Probably because I was a college student when I got most of them.

My jeans were on the tight side. Edward told me he liked them which told me they were probably too tight. I paired them with a loose, short sleeved button down with blue and white stripes. It was comfortable and light in the summer heat.

"I need to go shopping," I mumbled to myself, straightening my emerald necklace as I tried to decide whether I needed to do up another button or not.

"You still have my credit card. You can – "

"Spend my own money on my own clothes, yes. I wouldn't still have your credit card if you would have kept it the last five times I've tried to give it to you."

I had put it in his wallet repeatedly. Each time, it ended up back in mine.

Edward shrugged, ringing the doorbell. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I like your outfit," Lucy shrugged.

I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing, but I didn't have time to think about it before Heidi opened the door. She looked every bit the suburban housewife; her blonde hair in an intricate updo and her blue pleated dress probably worth more than my rent used to be.

"You made it!" she said with a smile, taking out a plate of cookies Lucy had baked the night before. "These look wonderful!"

"Thank you for having us," Edward said with an easy smile.

I gripped his hand as Heidi led us through the house and toward her backyard, not caring that my palm had started to sweat a little. I paid more attention to putting one foot in front of the other than the décor of the house.

They had a wonderful backyard, though. A good bit bigger than ours, but it had to be in order to fit the gazebo in the far corner.

"Most of the kids have ended up in the gazebo if you two want to join them," she told Masen and Lucy, who happily headed over toward a group of four or five other teenagers. "Let me introduce you to everyone."

My eyes floated over to everyone. There were a couple picnic tables set up, five couples, excluding Heidi and Felix surrounding them from what I could see. I was surprised that instead of everyone looking like they were in an episode of Real Housewives, they all seemed very causal. I was sure most of what they were wearing was designer, no one in this neighborhood was looking for a bargain on a dress, but they weren't decked out in diamonds and couture.

"Everyone, our new neighbors, Bella and Edward," Heidi exclaimed with a smile before starting in on a multitude of introductions. Thankfully I was good with matching names and faces.

There were five other couples. Eleazar and Mary were the closest in age to me. Both twenty-five and newly married. Eleazar had dark hair slicked back with a little too much product, but offered me a kind smile as he shook my hand. Mary's hair was as dark as her husband's, falling in thick waves down her shoulders. Her makeup was done a little over the top for my taste, but it made more sense when she told us she was in marketing for a high-end makeup brand. Eleazar was in real estate.

Next were Kate and Garrett, both in their early forties with a fifteen-year-old son named Marcus. Kate had perfectly platinum blonde hair that could probably rival Rosalie's on a good day, and wore jewelry in the kind of way that I knew was to show that she had money. No one wore a diamond encrusted necklace to a bar-b-que unless they were trying to prove a point. Garrett seemed a little more relaxed than his wife. His light brown hair in a bit of a mess on top of his head as he explained how he used to be the CEO of a tech company, but had recently retired. I put the pieces together quickly and deducted they were swimming in money and Kate's necklace was probably scrap metal to them.

Quil and Claire were kind and quiet, which I liked. Quil had a dark tan to his skin and more tattoos covering his arms than I could count, while Claire was glowing with happiness as she kept a hand on her obviously pregnant stomach. Then there was Edythe and Beau, the oldest of the bunch in their forties with three teenagers, each a year apart. Everyone seemed relatively normal and drama free until we got to Victoria and Laurent.

They were in their thirties, had two kids, and didn't bother to hide their marriage problems. I especially didn't appreciate the way Victoria eyed Edward up and down as he shook her hand.

Knowing more about the people I would be spending the afternoon with did nothing to calm me down. Constantly working to rewire my brain from the backwards way I grew up was exhausting. According to Doctor Stanley I had never really been properly socialized. My parents never cared to make sure I had friends or sleepovers, and I assumed most people that met me hated me. It wasn't a great combination.

I knew I was supposed to work on not keeping myself in my bubble as much, but it was nice and quiet and safe in there.

"Beer, Edward?" Eleazar, the one closes to a bucket full of ice and bottles, asked.

"We have more exciting drinks, too," Heidi said with a smile in my direction as Edward took a drink from Eleazar.

Claire was quick to turn and pour a glass of something red, topping it with some green leaves. "Quil is a mixologist," she said with a smile, handing me the drink. "I can guarantee this will be the best strawberry mojito you've ever had."

I could confidently say it was the only strawberry mojito I had ever had, but after one sip I could tell she would have been right had I been drinking them my entire life.

"It's delicious," I told her with a smile.

"You own a few bars, right?" Edward asked, looking in the direction of Claire's husband, Quil.

He nodded, lifting one heavily tattooed arm to take a quick sip of his beer. "Yeah. Inked. Drop my name at any of them and you'll both be set for the night."

I smiled politely at his offer, taking another sip of my drink because I wasn't quite sure what else to do. Small talk was kind of like torture for me. I didn't know what to say or how much interest to show in people.

"You two have had quiet the… interesting year," Kate pointed out, taking a sip of her own strawberry mojito.

Cramps. I could suddenly come up with an awful case of cramps. Or an ovarian cyst. I had one rupture a few years ago and ended up in the hospital overnight in excruciating pain. A work emergency was always a good excuse, too.

I saw Edward nod slowly out of the corner of my eye, felt his hand tighten around my waist. I wasn't sure if it was a comforting squeeze or a squeeze to keep me in place.

"Interesting is a good word for it, I suppose," Edward said cautiously.

Mary shook her head. "The whole system is fucked. Nobody was talking about how you were photographed without your permission on private property. That should have been a story. Instead they exploit a barely legal girl whose life is none of their business. I don't know how you handle being in PR. I took a few courses in college and the whole thing was infuriating."

I was taken aback for a moment, all of my plans for escaping put on hold. I did choose to ignore the whole barely legal part of her statement, though. "It is infuriating, but that's why I like it. It's kind of like a big chess game, especially in Hollywood. I don't necessarily enjoy it when I'm one of the pawns, but it's a fun challenge when you're representing a king or queen and have to try and keep them on the right side of things."

Mary nodded. "I get that. Marketing and PR are pretty closely related, but I'd much rather plan a product promotion party than have to deal with crisis management."

"Crisis management is the most exciting part," I said, unable to keep the smile off of my face. "Unless you're the one in the middle of the crisis. Then it's not so fun."

There were a few chuckles from the couples surrounding us, and the tension that I had been keeping in my shoulders relaxed. I wasn't sure if it was the steady hand on the small of my back or maybe the hundreds upon hundreds of dollars I had been spending in therapy was finally starting to work. Whatever it was, I found myself enjoying a social gathering, something I could never remember ever doing.

I got along best with Mary and Claire. Mary and I talked more about work and a little bit about school. She graduated from UCLA a few years ago, and we had ended up with some of the same professors to complain about. Claire's constant happiness was a little infectious. She was pregnant and loving every moment of it. I kept myself from asking her too many questions about it, mostly because I didn't want to burst her happy little bubble.

Kate and Garrett were surprisingly kind. I had assumed the money and flashy jewels would mean they were on the pretentious side, but they weren't. Kate asked to see my engagement ring with a kind smile, paying it compliments when she had a few dozen diamonds hanging around her neck.

The only people I had a problem with were Victoria and Laurent. Mostly because every time I looked at Victoria she seemed to be mentally undressing my fiancé. I didn't have much to say to either of them.

The sun was just starting to set as Edward, Masen, Lucy, and I were walking down the street back towards home. Masen and Lucy were a few paces ahead of us, bickering about something or other.

"So?" Edward asked quietly, giving my hand a squeeze.

"So?"

"So," Edward mimicked. "I don't think it would be uncalled for to say that you, Ms. Swan, had a good time this evening."

I pressed my lips together, focusing on the street in front of me. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I did have a good time. And I had been fully expecting to be miserable during the entire get together. In my defense, it was the first social gathering I ever remembered leaving with a smile on my face.

Edward pressed his lips to the top of my head as we walked through the front door. Masen and Lucy headed off to their rooms, while I went out to the backyard to give Lady some time to run around. I sat on the wooden patio steps, my bare feet in the grass. It wasn't long before I felt Edward sit down beside me.

"I'll still owe you three orgasms if you admit you had a good time."

I snorted, shaking my head as I scooted closer to him. I wrapped my arm through his and rested my head on his shoulder. "It would have been more fun without Victoria staring at you the whole time."

"But, you still had fun?"

I nodded.

"Good. We can bump it up to four orgasms, then. Just to make it a nice even number."

Another snort popped out before I could stop it. As much as I appreciated his little reward, I didn't need him bribing me with sexual favors. "You don't have to – "

"Oh, I do. I've been thinking about it all day."

I let out a sigh, more content after any kind of gathering than I had ever been. I knew a big part of that was because Edward kept a hand on my back or my thigh or squeezed tightly with my own the entire night. I pressed a kiss to his shoulder, through his t-shirt. Orgasms or not, it was a nice way to end the day.

…Closure…

"I swear, this thing gets heavier every time I pick it up."

I shook my head, fastening an earring in as I walked down the stairs in front of Edward. "I didn't ask you to carry it."

"I don't know how you carry it."

"It's not that heavy," I sighed with a smile, taking it from him as we got to the foyer.

Before Edward could make another crack at my bag, there were four quick knocks at the front door behind us. I frowned, turning quickly to peak out the window only to see Alistair on our porch.

My frown deepened as I opened the door. "What are you – "

"We have a problem," he said quickly, not bothering to wait for an invitation in before brushing past me. He went directly to the dining room table to the left of the entry, rummaging through the bag hung over his shoulder.

I was only vaguely aware of Edward following me to the table.

"TMZ is going to publish this within the hour," Alistair said, the urgency in his voice morphing into something quieter I couldn't put a pin on as he handed me a tablet.

My eyes scanned the words quickly. I was a paragraph in when my ears started to ring and I had to blink a handful of times to keep my vision clear. After a moment, all I could focus on were the quotes. The commentary would have to wait.

"Her parents got divorced and she didn't handle it well."

"Bella always craved attention, no matter what kind."

"She started to blame me for everything pretty much the moment our parents got married."

"Everyone in the family has always been worried about her lying."

"Keeping it within the family is one thing. Now, she's interfering with my career."

"I've never put a hand on her. I'd never hurt anyone, let alone my sister."

I swallowed back the bile that had started to creep up my esophagus. The tablet was carefully taken out of my hands, and it was only after the weight of it was gone that I realized it was because my hands had started shaking. I squeezed them into tight fists and put them in my lap.

Alistair's voice was quiet when he spoke. "I looked into it, saw that you got a restraining order like he said. He makes it seem like it wasn't warranted, but a court wouldn't issue a restraining order if they didn't have proof it was needed."

"I didn't make it up," I snapped defensively.

"I know. Which is why we need to make a statement before this gets out."

"No, I don't want to – "

"This article?" Alistair said, anger dripping in his voice as he held up the tablet. "Cannot be the first thing people hear about it. They'll side with the sad little professional athlete and you'll be dragged through the mud. Again."

I squeezed my eyes shut, the ringing in my ears getting too loud. My nails dug into my palms as my hands squeezed into even tighter fists in my lap. I had to swallow back more bile in the back of my throat.

I knew this was going to happen. I was too happy. Things were too perfect and I had gotten too comfortable.

"Comfortable is good. Comfortable means you're moving on, spending more time enjoying your present instead of ruminating on the past. You deserve comfortable."

Doctor Stanley had told me that last week. The panic that had gripped me as I read that article quickly morphed into blood boiling anger. I wanted nothing from anyone in my family. I didn't give a shit about Tyler and his career. If a team scouting him had found out he had a restraining order against him, that was on him. Not me. The only reason teams were scouting him was because Phil had connections after playing minor league baseball for a few years, anyway. They were probably just searching for an out.

"What," I hesitated, my throat tight and voice hoarse. "Kind of statement do you suggest?"

I opened my eyes to a serious looking Alistair, though my attention only stayed on him for a moment. After that, my eyes watched Edward pace back and forth across the dining room.

"Nothing too detailed. The court ordered you a restraining order months ago after a complicated and abusive history with your step-brother. You've said nothing about him in public or to anyone other than your lawyer and the court. You're not out to ruin his career, you're out to keep yourself safe."

I nodded.

"We'll keep it simple. A post on your socials should be enough – "

"They're all private."

"We're going to change that. You shouldn't keep yourself hidden away so much, anyway."

I probably would have argued more if I had the energy. I also would have written the statement myself if I wasn't suddenly exhausted. I was reading over the quick statement Alistair had written when Lucy and Masen rounded the corner.

"What are you guys still doing here?" Masen said, mid-yawn.

Edward's pacing stopped, which was a shame because the constant back and forth was keeping me calm, and he led them both away before anyone could answer them.

"That sounds fine," I sighed, turning the laptop back toward Alistair.

A few minutes later, he had my accounts public and the statement posted. I turned my phone off as soon as it was up.

"I'm sorry we didn't have more time to prepare. A friend of mine found out about the article early this morning."

I shrugged, picking lightly at the pale pink polish on my nails. "It's not your fault."

"I'll take care of it from here."

I nodded, frozen in my seat as he packed up his things and left the house quietly.

My brain was fuzzy, a myriad of every possible emotion swirling around my head. I was mad that Tyler went to the press and aired all of the dirty laundry I had been trying to bury, furious that my own mother probably encouraged him to try and clear his name. There was a familiar tug at my chest when I thought about how Charlie would probably read along to the article and nod in agreement with everything Tyler said. I was still in shock that the whole thing was out in the first place. And, I was a little disgusted with myself that I felt ashamed of the whole ordeal.

I had done nothing wrong. I was a child and I got myself out of the situation the second I was old enough to. It wasn't my fault. But, no matter how many times I told myself that I still had this nagging feeling in my stomach that I was the one to blame for the whole mess.

My head fell to my hands, my palms digging into my eyes to try and stop the onslaught of memories suddenly rushing before my eyes.

I remembered every hospital visit. Every wait in the emergency room and every time my mother would complain on the drive home about her waisted time. If I tried hard enough, I could probably make a list of every bruise or scratch or cut that didn't land me in the hospital, too. I remembered every night spent crying in my bed because I was in pain and I remembered dreading waking up because I would be scared to leave my room in the morning. It was a feeling much too similar to how I felt now, terrified to go to work because I didn't know what was waiting for me.

That fear infuriated me.

Because none of this was my doing. I moved across the country to get away from Tyler and he was the one who kept showing up here to get in my way. I was tired of him getting away with everything.

I shoved away from the table, the chair scratching loudly against the floor. My bag had been discarded on the table by the front door. I quickly went over and started rummaging through it. I pulled out my laptop and my chargers and my notebooks and was about to dump the entire thing over when Edward's hand grabbed my wrist gently.

"What are you doing?"

"Jenks gave me a card. It's in here somewhere, I just can't find it."

"Why do you need to talk to Jenks?"

"Because I'm going to press charges against Renee for child neglect and Tyler for assault."

I kept rummaging through my bag with one hand, waiting for Edward to try and talk me out of it. Instead, he let go of my wrist and a minute later was holding out the exact card I was looking for. I vaguely registered him pocketing his wallet.

"You're not going to try and talk me out of it?"

I wasn't sure why I thought he would. Maybe just because he always seemed to be more level headed than me.

"Your mother let you live in fear for ten years while your step-brother terrorized you. You think I would talk you out of pressing charges against them?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. You're usually more reasonable than me. I just – it's hard to move on from the whole thing when they're constantly throwing it in my face."

Edward nodded, holding Jenks' card out toward me. "Then, give them hell."

Instead of going to work or using any of my other distraction tactics for when life got hard, I spent the day in Jenks' office.

A/N: Things are about to get rough, but always remember I can't read a story without an HEA, and I certainly can't write one. Thank you guys for sticking with me, I hope you're still enjoying the ride!