* ~ The Eighth Year Universe Series ~ *

PART FIVE

Blame it on Hate

Not Everything Pretty Sparkles & Shines

The chapter title is from the song:

Homecoming Queen by Kelsea Ballerini.

"Lillian Moon, get your arse out of my kitchen now, or you are going to be late for your appointment!"

Lilly grabbed a slice of toast, "Daph, it's been Lillian Longbottom for bloody ages."

"Bloody," Andrea giggled.

Daphne glared at her daughter, "Don't say that word. Aunt Lilly is a bad girl, and she shouldn't say it."

Lilly raised an eyebrow at Daphne, "Am I?"

"Yes, you are. No swearing in my kitchen."

"Unless it's after 8 pm and wine is involved," Lilly teased.

Daphne rolled her eyes and shoved her feet into her boots, "I'm serious; you have an important appointment, so get going. I can be late for work. I'm a co-owner, if Bill gives me S – H – I – T for it, I'll tell him where to go. You cannot be late for this."

"Mum, why did you spell out the word 'shit'?"

Daphne spun around, "Because it is a bad word, Edward!"

"Shit!" Andrea chorused.

"Shit!" Alastor joined in.

Daphne groaned and kicked the table, "Goddamn it, eat your toast now, or you're going to school staving Teddy and you two, stop saying bad words, or I'll take away your broomsticks!"

Alastor and Andrea started screaming and having temper tantrums, which woke Thea up from her chair in the corner of the kitchen.

"Mum! I'm going to be late for school if you don't take me right now!" Teddy shouted over the chaos.

Daphne hit her head against the wall, "I would rather be in Egypt with a three-headed corpse and a cursed vault right now."

Lilly crossed the kitchen kissed her cheek, "You wanted four kids, sweetie."

Daphne glared at her.

"See you later!" Lilly said, grinning at Daphne and disappearing from the kitchen.

Seconds later, the door opened, and Narcissa stepped in. Daphne breathed a sigh of relief, "You're here, Merlin, you're my saviour, I love you, thank you!" she said, kissing Narcissa on the cheek and grabbing Teddy by the strap of his school bag, "Come on, school now!" she said, dragging him out of the house.

"Have a good day, darling!" Narcissa called after them.

Lilly's appointment was a big one – it was when she would either get the all-clear or be given an early delivery date because of all the problems she'd had before falling pregnant with the twins.

As such, she was pretty nervous as she sat in the waiting room, tapping her foot against the tiled floor.

For that reason, she was less than impressed when someone sat down opposite her and said, "Oh my gosh! Lillian Moon! What are the chances?"

Lilly looked up and had to bite back a scoff when she saw the person sitting opposite her.

"Hannah Abbott, what are the chances, indeed," Lilly said, trying her best to sound polite.

Hannah's hand was resting on her stomach, and she was visibly pregnant too.

"It's MacDougal now, actually," Hannah said importantly.

"I know," Lilly said, biting back a smirk, "And I'm not Lillian Moon anymore. I've been Lillian Longbottom for quite a few years."

Hannah looked a little put-out, "Yes, I know. We were wondering if you were ever going to have children, you know? The ladies and I, that is. We thought poor Neville might have had problems in that department."

"Well, as I'm pregnant with twins, I'd be disinclined to agree with that," Lilly said sharply.

"Twins? Good heavens, you will have your hands full!" Hannah said with false politeness.

Lilly said nothing.

"So…when are you due?" Hannah asked chirpily, "I'm due in February; it's a little girl. Hamish was a little sad. He's a laird, so he did want an heir, but she will be our little princess all the same."

"Uh-huh," Lilly said, "My boys are due in April. I expect they will be early, though; twins often are."

"Two boys?" Hannah asked, a hint of irritation in her voice.

"Yep," Lilly said.

"What do you think you will name them? Something ordinary like your name or something unique like Neville?"

Lilly rolled her eyes, "Look, Hannah, I'm not doing this with you. I can be as polite as the next person when I want to be but right now? I don't want to be. You want me to sit and talk baby's with you and then what, go to mother and baby clubs together and take relaxing strolls?" she scoffed.

Hannah looked affronted, "I was just being nice!"

"Yeah, and do you know when you weren't nice?" Lilly asked, getting to her feet when her name was called, "Oh yeah – how about when I started dating your ex? When I had been on your side for months because you maintained he had cheated on you, and I knew what that felt like, thanks to Ron bloody Weasley. But you didn't have any Hufflepuff loyalty then, did you? No, you turned my hair into snakes because you were a petty little bitch!"

Hannah gasped in disbelief, "You can't swear when you're pregnant! The baby will hear you!"

"Oh God, I pray for your child, I really do," Lilly said irritably, "The sheltered little lamb won't know what to do with itself when it hears the word 'fuck' at Hogwarts," she remarked, walking into the hospital room.

Clara crossed her arms over her chest.

"What? She deserved it," Lilly muttered irritably.

"Uh-huh, I'm sure she did," Clara said, "But how am I supposed to get an accurate reading on your blood pressure now, exactly?"

Lilly rolled her eyes, "Just do it last. I'll have calmed down by then."

Clara shook her head and pointed to the bed, "Lie down and lift your top."

"Yeah, yeah, I know the drill," Lilly said, lying down and doing as she had been told.

"Who was the pampered princess you were shouting at anyway?" Clara asked nosily.

"Neville's ex-girlfriend, who is also pregnant," Lilly said irritably, "Which means our kids will go to Hogwarts together. God, I hope neither of them ends up dating her daughter…."

"Gee, you really don't like the girl, do you?" Clara asked, pressing a stethoscope against Lilly's stomach.

"No, of course, I don't like her," Lilly muttered, "She broke up with Neville right after his friend Dean died, basically because Neville was more worried about Harry than her, but she barely even knew Dean. Then Neville slept with Susan, Hannah's best friend, and Hannah made it out like Neville had cheated on her when he hadn't. Either way, Neville and Susan didn't get together and then literal months later, when Neville and I got together, she turned my hair to snakes."

Clara raised an eyebrow at Lilly, "The most dramatic thing that happened in my final year was Sorenson and Percy getting into a fight which Sorenson definitely won. I'd have loved to have been in your year."

"Trust me, you wouldn't have," Lilly said, "It was one drama after another, but I suppose that's what you get when you're in the same year as Harry Potter."

Clara laughed and cast a diagnostic charm on Lilly's stomach, "Two strong heartbeats, which is a great start and…."

Lilly's stomach glowed, and Clara gave it a couple of prods, "Yeah, everything is looking perfect. You're at… 24 weeks, so yep, all developing at the right rate. Twin B is still smaller than Twin A, but it's marginal, so I'm not worried about it. When they are born, there will be a few ounces in it, nothing huge."

With a smile, Lilly asked, "And what about delivery?"

"We're definitely bringing them into the world early," Clara said as Lilly sat up on the bed, "They are twins, you are petite, and with your medical history, I'm sure it would make you more comfortable too. Let's pencil in an early delivery date of the 1st of April."

Lilly nodded thoughtfully, "Four weeks early?"

"They'll be small, but they won't need any help to breathe at that stage," Clara said, cocking her head at Lilly, "And hopefully, once we give your body a kick-start, you will be able to deliver them naturally."

"Okay," Lilly said with a nod, "I'm on board with that plan."

"You good for me to check your blood pressure now?" Clara asked, smiling in amusement.

Lilly chuckled, "Yeah, I'm nice and zen, don't worry."

So Clara checked Lilly's blood pressure then glanced down at it, "Yeah, it is a little high, but it's marginal, and you were really pissed off with that girl, so I doubt we have anything to worry about. We'll recheck it at your next appoint on…" she glanced at the calendar, "…the 14th of January."

"Alright," Lilly said, jumping to her feet.

"Any problems before then, come straight to me," Clara ordered, "And I recommend you either drop a day at the training centre or sit on your arse for longer than you do."

"Try telling Frasier that!" Lilly said as she walked towards the door.

"I will tell Frasier that, and since you're my patient, she'll have no choice but to listen," Clara retorted.

Lilly laughed and opened the door, "Good luck, she's gonna love that."

Clara just smiled in response as Lilly stepped out into the, thankfully, empty waiting room.

"Why did I have four kids?" Daphne asked when she flew into the office that morning.

Bill snorted, "Cause you're a lunatic?"

"Cause you adopted two then had a couple of miracle pregnancies?"

"Oi – you are a rookie; you don't get an opinion," Bill said, pointing at the receptionist.

"And plenty of other people can be taught how to file, Cheryl, so don't be a judgemental bitch," Daphne added as she sat on the edge of Bill's desk to tie the laces on her boots.

"You know, it's a good thing that I'm a man with solid morals who is in a committed relationship, or people would get worried," Bill remarked.

"Oh, shut up and tie these," Daphne said, dropping her foot onto his leg, "I am like four days past my bedtime, Thea won't sleep, and she has reflux. Harry is great, but when he gets a call, he has to go to work, and my cousin is a dumbass who set fire to his own fucking manor."

Bill shoved her leg off him, so Daphne put her other one on his lap, and he rolled his eyes as he began to lace up her boot.

"Teddy is hitting the teenager phase way too early, and he's a sassy little shit like his father, and Alastor and Andrea just bounce off each other and repeat everything that anyone says, and Lilly won't stop fucking swearing in front of them!"

"What like you're any better? You spew profanities all the time."

"I do not spew profanities, Cheryl. I enunciate them clearly like a fucking lady," Daphne retorted.

Bill snorted and pressed a cup of coffee into her hands.

Daphne sighed appreciatively, "Bill, if I hadn't married Harry, I would have married you."

"I know you would have," Bill joked, "Now get off my desk; your arse is crumpling my paperwork."

Daphne jumped down and sighed, "I just feel like I've reached a point in my life where I need a stronger word than 'fuck', do you know what I mean?"

"No," Bill and Cheryl echoed.

Daphne made a face, "Oh like you know anything about life, Cheryl, you're like ten."

Cheryl was a rather chavvy young adult from the closes who they had taken on as their receptionist. She had a good brain but a big mouth and a terrible taste in fashion – Daphne had told her all of this to her face when she came in for her job interview in a leopard print bodycon dress that looked about two sizes too small for her. Because Cheryl had taken it in her stead and given as good as she had gotten, Daphne hired her on the spot.

"I'm 22, actually."

"Well, you look ten without your glamour charms and your crazy hair," Daphne said, giving her a disdainful look, "Why is it that colour anyway?"

"It's cherry red, and it's in fashion!"

"You look like a telephone box, so it's a terrible fashion."

Bill chuckled from his desk, and Cheryl rolled her eyes, "Coming from you? You look like you've just stepped out of a Lara Croft game."

At this, Bill choked on his coffee, and Daphne crossed her arms, "Who?"

"Oh Merlin, you're such a pureblood," Bill chuckled under his breath.

"You totally are," Cheryl agreed, "You need to come to my bit and watch Daz, that's my man, playing the game. I mean, it's so you – you is just Lara Croft."

"Okay – calling your other half your 'man' is territorial and mildly disturbing. I mean, does he call you his woman?"

"No, he calls me his missus," Cheryl replied.

"But you aren't married," Daphne pointed out.

"So? It's just a phrase, innit?" Cheryl shrugged, "And anyways, I am his woman."

"Why is that a term of endearment your happy about?" Daphne asked in disbelief, "It's sexist at best, and the sign your boyfriend is a predator of some variety at worst!"

Bill grinned into his coffee cup – it amused him to no end that Daphne was unable to understand the way Cheryl's brain worked.

"Also, your boyfriend is called Darren, which is a nice enough name, so why shorten it to Daz? And finally, the correct word to use in that sentence about Lara Croft would be 'are' – you are Lara Croft, not 'you is Lara Croft'. Okay?"

Cheryl looked at Bill, "Is she for reals?"

"Oh, for fucks sake, I'm too tired for this shit," Daphne muttered, draining her coffee, "Bill – deal with her before I fire her."

"Where are you going?"

"Gringotts, I want to blow some shit up in the cursed room!"

She stepped out, slamming the door behind her, and Cheryl made a face, "She always so intense?"

"Nah, but she's 25 with four kids, and I think she's serious when she says she hasn't slept in four days because her youngest kid is a handful," Bill said, dropping a pile of paperwork onto her desk, "You remember how to file that, don't you?"

"Yeah," Cheryl said offhandedly, "I didn't sleep for five days once, you know?"

"Yeah? Were you studying hard or something?"

"Nah, me and Daz mixed mandrake leaf and cheering potion together, ended up on a really crazy trip for like a whole week. We had so much sex and ate so much food, but we like didn't sleep, like at all."

Bill looked at Cheryl for a long moment before saying, "Okay. Right, Cheryl, you're a lovely girl and all, but we're going to have to have a chat about filters."

"Huh?"

"Filters," Bill said again, "You know how you think something, then a filter in your head tells you not to say it out loud."

Cheryl frowned, "That doesn't happen in my head."

Bill grimaced, "Okay…in that case, we're going to teach you how to get really good at lying and keeping secrets."

Daphne was on her way to the bank with coffee in hand when she bumped into Lilly, "Hey! How did it go?"

"Good, shouldn't you be working?"

"In there? With Cheryl Butcher? No, I'm fine, thanks," Daphne said, rubbing her eyes and stifling a yawn, "Are my future nephews cooking away nicely in there then?"

"I hate that terminology, it's not an oven, and they aren't buns," Lilly muttered.

"Don't get into a fight with me about metaphors right now. I'm really tired, and I basically don't have a filter," Daphne said, gulping her coffee.

"Yeah, I can see that…." Lilly said, "And God, that coffee smells good."

"Well, you can't have it. It's bad for my nephews," Daphne said, holding the coffee out of reach, "Sorry Longbottom babies, you can't have this. Aunt Daphne really needs it, or she's going to lose her shit."

Lilly snorted, "You'll never guess who I ran into in the hospital today."

Daphne said nothing, and Lilly gave her a pointed look,

"What?" Daphne asked, "Am I supposed to guess? Cause I'm not going to do that, I'm not even entirely sure what day it is today."

"It's Monday, and I bumped into Hannah."

Daphne frowned, "Hannah…?"

"MacDougall, formerly Abbott," Lilly said slowly.

"Oh," Daphne nodded, gulping more coffee, "Psycho Bitch Hannah."

Lilly snorted, "That's not how you think of her, is it?"

"Yeah, it is," Daphne replied, "I know a lot of Hannah's. There's nice Hannah from hospital reception, semi-useful Hannah from human resources at the bank, bitch Hannah in the DMLE, and then psycho bitch Hannah who's married to that rich Scottish laird."

"Fair enough," Lilly remarked, "Either way, she was being all overly polite. Asking about baby names and due dates like I give a shit about her and her petty life or her laird Husband. If I did care about shit like that, which I don't, I'd have told her that Neville outranks her husband anyway."

"But you don't care about shit like that," Daphne smirked.

Lilly gave her an amused look, "You're bitchy when you're tired."

"I know," Daphne yawned, "But I hope you didn't lay into Hannah too hard, her being pregnant too and all. You need to learn to be the bigger person."

"I'm five foot. I'm literally never the bigger person!" Lilly exclaimed.

"You went nuts at her, didn't you?" Daphne deadpanned.

"I went a little nuts at her, yeah," Lilly answered sheepishly.

Daphne snorted, "But the babies are all good?"

"Fine, and Clara did give me an early delivery date like I thought she would – the 1st of April," Lilly told her best friend.

"Four weeks early, exactly like you thought," Daphne said.

"Uh-huh. She also asked me to drop a day at the centre, but-"

"No buts! Your midwife/Healer/friend told you to do it, so do it," Daphne ordered.

Lilly crossed her arms, "I don't take orders from you."

"You sometimes do," Daphne said suggestively, "And you kinda look like a pregnant petulant child, by the way."

"There is so much wrong with that sentence that I genuinely don't know where to begin," Lilly said with a shake of her head, "So I'm gonna go home, and you are going to get some sleep tonight."

Daphne laughed falsely, which sounded a bit manic, "Oh Lilly, you're so funny," she said sarcastically as she carried on towards the bank.

Lilly, being the closet Hufflepuff that she was, didn't go home. Instead, she stepped into Potter and Weasley Curse Breaking and looked over at the main desk where Bill was sitting with a receptionist.

"Hey, Lilly," Bill said with a smile.

Lilly smiled back, "Hey Bill, I'm kinda worried about Daph."

"You and me both," Bill said, "I've been plying her with coffee to keep her awake, but I think that's making her worse."

"She's like a squirrel on speed."

Lilly looked over in Cheryl's direction, "Who the hell is that?"

"That's Cheryl. She has no filter," Bill answered by way of explanation.

"Right," Lilly said, "Well, she's kind of right. You need to hit Daphne with a freaking superpowered stunner and send her home to sleep."

"I've tried telling her to take some time off, but it's Daphne; she doesn't listen," Bill said.

Lilly sighed, "I'll talk to Harry tonight. In fact, I'll tell Harry that he has no choice but to look after his daughter for one night so Daphne can come to my house and sleep without being woken up by Thea crying, or Andie having a nightmare, or Alastor seeing giant spiders on his bloody bedroom roof."

"Yeah, I think she'd appreciate that."

"You think?" Lilly asked, looking at Cheryl in disbelief.

"She also states the obvious," Bill added.

"No shit, Sherlock," Lilly muttered as she slung her bag over her shoulder, "See you later, Bill."

When Lilly walked into Harry's office later that day, she was amazed to see him packing up his desk.

"Uh….hi Harry, what are you doing?"

Harry slung his bag on, "Packing up, what does it look like? How was the appointment?"

"Good, the boys are fine," Lilly answered, "Hannah Abbott is still a bitch from the depths of hell, but that's semi-irrelevant to this conversation, sorry. Anyway, what do you mean 'packing up'? It's only 3 pm."

"I know, but I'm going to go home and watch my kids so my wife can get some sleep since she's basically been awake for four days," Harry said with a roll of his eyes, "And now that our dumbass friends aren't setting fire to bloody manors, I'm going to leave the department in Liz's perfectly capable hands for a few hours so that Daphne can sleep."

"Thank Merlin for that because I was actually coming here to give you some marching orders," Lilly confessed, "But as it turns out, I don't need to because you're acting all…thoughtful."

"Yeah, well, it does happen," Harry remarked, "I know I've been a terrible husband for the last little while, but I try my best to do right by her and the kids."

Lilly smiled, "I know you do, and I'm glad because she's acting a little crazy right now."

"You've seen her today?"

Lilly nodded, "Yeah, she was being abusive towards Cheryl, her new receptionist, and she basically has no filter."

"I know, but to be fair, I think she's usually abusive towards Cheryl. The girl's heart is in the right place, but she's a bit…vacant," Harry shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm going to try not to be offended by that since Cheryl grew up in the Closes, which are basically the wizarding equivalent to council estates. You know, like the one I grew up in?" Lilly remarked matter of factly.

"Oh, come on, Lil, it's totally not the same thing. You're a rough diamond, Cheryl's just rough," Harry said with a snort, "And you never dated a drug dealer either."

"Her boyfriend is a drug dealer?"

"Uh-huh."

"And you'd only know that if you did a background check on her," Lilly realised, narrowing her eyes at Harry.

"Course I did a background check on her. Do you really think I'd let someone work with Daphne without doing a background check?" Harry quipped.

"No, I know you, so no, I don't think you would," Lilly replied dryly, "But still, the girl seems nice enough. She's obviously not got a criminal record, has she?"

"Nah, not really."

"How can you 'not really' have a criminal record, Harry? Surely you do, or you don't, simple as that?" Lilly asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She has a criminal record, technically, but it's all minor stuff," Harry said, "Minor theft, assault against some guy in a pub, etc. Nothing too serious."

Lilly shook her head, "Right. Well, look. You need to find Daphne soon because the last I heard, she was blowing stuff up in the cursed vault at Gringotts."

"Bugger," Harry muttered, yanking open the door, "Stay here. I'll be back in a second!"

He jogged along the corridor into records and called, "Nev! Where are you, man? We're going home!"

Neville stepped out from behind a shelf, "What? Why?"

"Because my wife is acting crazy due to lack of sleep, and you need to ask your wife how her appointment went. She's in my office, by the way," Harry said quickly.

Neville fell into step with him, "Why? Is it bad?"

"No, she said it was fine," Harry replied, "She came to yell at me and tell me to go home and let Daphne sleep which is exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to find her because she's blowing stuff up at Gringotts."

"Oh, Merlin."

"Exactly – then I'm going to dump her at yours. Then you're gonna deposit her into a spare bedroom and let her sleep peacefully without a bunch of kids running around like lunatics."

"Yeah," Neville agreed, "Sounds fair."

"Also," Harry added, lowering his voice, "Don't mention Hannah Abbott, whatever you do."

"What? Why? Why would I mention her?" Neville asked in the same tone.

"Just don't," Harry advised.

They had just reached his office, so Harry opened the door, "Coming, Lillian?"

Lilly glared at him, "Don't call me, Lillian."

Neville smiled and put an arm around her shoulder, "Hey, baby."

"Hey," Lilly said warmly, "Did Harry tell you it all went well?"

"He did," Neville replied, "Did you get an early delivery date?"

"The 1st of April, like we thought," Lilly answered.

Harry was quiet as they chatted babies, then Lilly spoke directly to him, "By the way, Harry. Normally, our stance on slipping anyone anything in a drink, even if it is for their benefit, is to absolutely never do it. But, given that Daphne, as much as we all love her, is a stubborn bitch at times, do you approve of me lacing her wine with the smallest amount of sleeping draught tonight?"

"Normally, I'd say no, and that you would never get away with it, but in this case – yes, and you are probably the only person who would get away with it," Harry said, an amused smile on his face.

"On account of you being pregnant with her favourite nephews and all," Neville chuckled.

"Yeah, I hope Astoria doesn't get jealous when she has kids," Harry chuckled.

"I very much doubt that will happen. You know, because of her affliction," Lilly pointed out.

"She might not want it to," Neville agreed, "But accidents do happen."

"They don't happen to Astoria Greengrass – that woman has her life planned out on a personal growth chart stuck to her office wall," Lilly pointed out.

Harry barked out a reluctant laugh.

Neville looked between them, "Oh my God, is that true?"

"Entirely true," Harry chuckled as they all left the Ministry together.

Daphne was unbelievably grateful when Harry sent her off to Longbottom House that afternoon. He got home and had a brief chat over tea with Narcissa, then he fed the kids.

After that, he bribed Teddy into doing his homework while he bathed Alastor and Andrea, read them a story and put them to bed. Then he bathed Thea, gave her a bottle of milk and settled her in her crib.

Finally, he helped Teddy finish his homework, convinced him to shower and then read some of his latest Herbology book with him in his bed. Harry was falling asleep halfway through a paragraph about mandrakes when his oldest son nudged him and said.

"Dad, it's okay to go to bed now."

Harry had smiled sleepily at him, "You sure, buddy?"

Teddy nodded, "Can I read for a little longer?"

Harry pushed himself off the bed and ruffled Teddy's hair, "A little longer, but you've got school tomorrow, remember?"

"I know," Teddy promised, "Night, Dad."

"Night, Ted," Harry said, leaving his room and shutting the door behind him.

He climbed a floor to his bedroom and was met by Andrea in the corridor. She was standing there with tears rolling down her cheeks, and Harry had to try his best not to sigh, "Another nightmare, baby?"

Andrea nodded, so Harry picked her up and lifted her back into her bedroom. He lay her down in her cot and then lay on the floor next to her, "There are no monsters in your room, baby. It's just shadows dancing across the roof, see – I can make pretty things instead."

He held his wand up and twisted it around; a ball burst from it then formed the shape of a planet. Andrea squealed happily, so Harry kept transfiguring things until a miniature scale version of the universe was floating around above the cot, each planet a beacon of light to fight the shadows on the wall.

He tucked Andrea in and kissed her on the forehead, "I love you so much, baby. Sleep tight now," he murmured.

Harry left the room with a yawn, shutting the door softly behind himself and stepping into his and Daphne's room, where Thea was sleeping in her crib. He crawled into bed fully dressed and fell asleep in less than five minutes, knowing fine well it wouldn't be long until Thea woke up hungry or dirty or wet or just in need of a cuddle.

And his last thought before he drifted off was, I don't know how she does it.

~ TBC ~