Bonus chapter today! (And yes, I am leaving it on a slight cliffhanger.) I hope you love it as much as I do.
Chapter 30Unfortunately, Darcy's promise to secure his own happiness would have to be delayed more than he had hoped for. Lady Catherine continued to have fits of rage every time the laudanum wore off. Both Darcy and the doctor were concerned about continuing to dose her with such a habit-forming drug. Darcy had heard enough stories from his cousin about injured soldiers who could not survive with it. Although he was not fond of his aunt, he could not abandon her or Anne to such a fate.
After three days of Lady Catherine's fits of rage refusing to abate in between doses, Darcy wrote to his uncle, begging him to come help his sister. Shortly after sending off the letter by express, Lady Catherine suffered an apoplexy that so severe, she collapsed onto the bed and was unresponsive for several hours. After she awoke, she was unable to move the left side of her body. Her speech was garbled due to the paralysis of her mouth, and she could not rise from the bed.
Unfortunately, this did little to improve her mood. The doctor was summoned, and he determined that she had suffered a stroke of some kind. Her new condition was likely permanent. He forbade any use of laudanum until a specialist could arrive from London.
Fortuitously, both the Earl of Matlock and the London specialist arrived within the same few hours of one another. It was agreed upon by both men that Lady Catherine should be removed to the dower house, where she would be cared for by a team of specialists to assure her well-being. No expense was spared in her care.
Anne felt strangely relieved at having her mother easily removed from Rosings with so little inconvenience to herself. She felt some guilt over those emotions, but Mrs. Jenkinson and Mr. de Bourgh repeatedly reassured her that she was not an unnatural daughter for her feelings. With their support, everything at Rosings was resolved by the end of the week.
Darcy spent much of that week also helping his new cousin-by-marriage learn about how to run the estate. While Mr. de Bourgh had been trained by his father in estate management, there were some unique circumstances at Rosings that required some special attentions. Together with the earl, after a week they felt confident in leaving Rosings to go to Netherfield.
With the Collins family to join their group, everyone except Anne and Mr. de Bourgh caravanned to Hertfordshire, just in time for the following week.
"I think I begin to finally understand your mother, Mrs. Collins," Darcy remarked partway through the journey.
"You do?" Mary asked incredulously.
"Yes. I believe I am beginning to see what she means when she refers to her poor nerves. I do not think I can bear the strain of waiting until I can speak with your sister!"
Lizzy's nerves were in a similar state as Darcy's, although she did not know it yet.
"Jane, are you certain they will be here this afternoon?" she asked her sister impatiently as they waited at Netherfield.
"Yes, Lizzy," Jane said, a touch of impatience in her voice.
The girls had been planning the wedding for several weeks, and even Jane's gentle demeanor was beginning to wear thin in face of her mother's nerves, her own nerves, and Lizzy's nerves. They had been able to escape the confines of Longbourn and the hysterics of their mother under the guise of meeting the company from Rosings that was due to arrive that day.
Lizzy was equally torn between wanting to see Darcy and to hide from him. She knew he owed her an apology, and she owed him one. She knew they could work it out, if her words hadn't driven him from her forever.
She had spent the last several weeks contemplating their relationship and the entire situation. She knew she loved him. She knew she wanted to marry him. She had complete faith in his character as a good and honest man who believed in duty and doing the right thing.
She also now knew just how much sorrow and betrayal was hidden behind the mask that he wore. In all of his letters, in all of their conversations, she had only seen glimpses of that trauma. At first she was hurt that he had not confided in her before when she had told him about the things in her past that had shaped herself.
After thinking on it, however, she realized that she could not compare the two things. While she had witnessed something horrible occur, it was not a situation that was done to her. Darcy's entire childhood had been filled with one rejection and then another by the very people who were supposed to care for him and love him during those tender years.
Was it any wonder that he could not let down that last mask with her? Especially if, perhaps, he did not realize he was wearing it in the first place?
People are like onions with their masks, wearing them layer upon layer. she reminded herself. It was something she had realized on the third week of their separation when she had seen her father tenderly kiss her mother on the brow in a private moment when her parents thought they were alone. She had lived with them her entire life, yet not once had seen a moment of true affection between the two.
I do not think I can ever fully unmask anyone, not even a husband, in an entire lifetime. But I think with Darcy, I would like to try.
After what felt like an eternity but was probably only a quarter of an hour, they heard hoofbeats against the drive up to the house. Lizzy leapt to her feet and rushed towards the front door, Jane following behind at a more appropriate pace.
Oakley was already out on the drive, waiting for the carriage to come to a complete stop. He extended his arm to Jane, while Lizzy stood to the side, desperately attempting to keep her feet from bouncing up and down.
The coachman opened the carriage door, and Bingley was the first to exit. He turned to help out his wife, then Lord Matlock, who was moving somewhat stiffly after a long carriage drive. Oakley moved forward to embrace his father, leading him over to Jane.
"But where is Darcy?" Lizzy blurted out as the door to the carriage was closed and it began to move towards the stables.
Georgiana laughed slightly and said, "He is in the other coach with Mary and Mr. Collins. He wanted to see you at Longbourn, so he rode with them to have the excuse of delivering them first before coming to Netherfield."
"He wanted to see me?" Lizzy asked, holding her breath.
"Yes, he did," affirmed Georgiana.
Without a pause, Lizzy did the only thing she could think of.
She ran.
"Lizzy!" cried Jane, but Lizzy refused to stop.
Leaving the drive and turning onto the road towards Meryton, Lizzy ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She did not think. She did not stop. She just kept running.
Suddenly a carriage came around the corner, and Lizzy darted to the side to avoid being struck. The coachman pulled hard on the reins, bringing the carriage to a sudden halt. The carriage door flew open, and Darcy jumped down and raced to her.
"Elizabeth Bennet! You could have been killed, you little fool! What were you doing, running in the middle of the road like that?"
This time, Lizzy looked past the words and saw the intent behind them: the love and panic and fear that she had felt when she thought he was gone away from her, before she read his letter and understood.
That understanding drove her forward and into his arms. He took a step back, slightly off-balance by the sudden weight that had crashed into him.
"Lizzy, what…?"
But he could not speak any longer, because she had lifted her lips to his, pressing a sweet, fervent kiss on his mouth.
At first, he was unresponsive, stunned by the unexpected affection. Then his lips were pushing back on hers, his arms moving down to embrace her and pull her body against his. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss, showing her without words the love and passion he had kept inside him for so long.
She matched her response to his, fueling his ardor. She showed him her unconditional love and complete acceptance in the intensity of her lips on his, her hands gripping the lapels on his jacket. In that moment, the only thing in existence was their love.
A horse's whinny came faintly through the fog, and the couple broke apart, gasping for breath. Darcy looked around and saw the coachman looking pointedly in another direction, off into the trees. Clearing his throat, Darcy attempted to step back, but Lizzy's grasp on his jacket just pulled her along.
"No," she said, her grip tightening. "You are finally here, with me, and I am not allowing you to leave again."
Darcy began to laugh in relief. "You cannot get rid of me so easily," he told her.
She burrowed her face into his chest. "I thought I had lost you. Can you ever forgive me for the cruel words I spoke?"
"But what did you say that I did not deserve? You thought me devoid of any proper feeling, I am sure. The turn of your countenance I shall never forget, when you told me that I was the last man in the world upon whom you could ever be prevailed to marry."
"Oh, do not repeat what I said then!" she cried. "I assure you that I have been long most heartily ashamed of it."
Darcy shook his head and pressed a gentle kiss to her brow. "No, dearest, I should repeat it, because it bears repeating. I almost lost you to my lack of faith, to my selfish pride, to my vanity."
A sudden clearing of a throat interrupted the two lovers, and they looked around to see the coachman was now standing beside the horses.
"Beggin' your pardon, Mr. Darcy, sir, but I needs to be getting' the horses to the stable to rest," the servant said, his discomfort clear on his face.
"Ah, yes," Darcy said, clearing is throat.
Lizzy turned her face to hide a giggle at the awkwardness of the moment. Darcy gave her a look of mock chastisement, then directed the servant to take the carriage ahead to Netherfield.
"I will escort Miss Bennet to…?" he looked at Lizzy questioningly.
"Back to Netherfield," she said. "I'm afraid I ran out on Jane and your sister without so much as a word of explanation. As soon as I knew you had gone to Longbourn because you wished to see me, I could not wait another moment."
The look of tenderness her confession engendered nearly took her breath away. The worry lines on his face smoothed away, and he looked as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
"I was afraid you would refuse to see me," he admitted. "I thought I could prevail upon your mother to grant me an audience if you would not allow me to beg your forgiveness."
Lizzy laughed. "You would turn my mother into a traitor?"
"If it meant a chance to be with you for the rest of my life? In a heartbeat."
Lizzy raised her face to his in response. This kiss, though gentle and brief, was so full of promise and love, it left Darcy just as breathless as their passionate embrace had minutes earlier.
"I love you," she whispered. "Most ardently."
"And I love you. Lizzy, my feelings will not be repressed. I know you asked for a courtship of six months, but I cannot wait. Please, ease my suffering, and be my wife."
"Yes."
"Yes?" he asked incredulously, barely able to believe her answer.
"Yes," she repeated with a smile. "I will marry you."
Darcy pulled her back into his arms and swung her around. She let out a squeal of surprise, then began to laugh. He put her down, extended his arm, and the two began to walk slowly back towards Netherfield. As they walked, Darcy mentioned his letter. "Did it," said he, "did it soon make you think better of me? Did you, on reading it, give any credit to its contents?"
She explained that her anger had eased before she had even read the letter, but the megrim had prevented her from seeing him before he left. The letter itself had erased any lingering hurt, replacing it with love, compassion, and understanding.
"I thought perhaps I might never see you again, given the ending," she admitted. "I could only console myself with the knowledge that you would not miss your cousin's wedding."
"When I wrote that letter," replied Darcy, "I believed myself perfectly calm and cool, but I am since convinced that it was written in a dreadful bitterness of spirit. I do not think I can think on it without feeling a measure of abhorrence at my actions."
"The letter shall be burnt," she declared, "and you must learn to adopt some of my philosophy: think only of the past that gives you pleasure."
"I cannot give you credit for any philosophy of the kind. Your retrospections must be so totally void of reproach, that the contentment arising from them is not of philosophy, but, what is much better, of innocence. But with me, it is not so. Painful recollections will intrude which cannot, which ought not, to be repelled. For if I do not learn from the past, how can I be certain to not repeat it?"
"Because next time you feel unsure of my love and devotion, I will not walk away or throw hurtful words at your face. Instead, I will remain and assure you with the most animated of language the violence of my affection."
"Just with language? I had hoped you would use your mouth for something other than words."
Darcy's response was said with such seriousness that Lizzy stopped and stared at him for a moment. She then began to laugh as she saw the hint of a smile on the edge of his lips.
"Well, you shall have to wait and see how I shall demonstrate my love for you after we are married."
With that tease, she burst off into a run towards Netherfield. Darcy remained where he was for a second, taken aback by her sudden actions, then began to run after her. His legs were much longer than hers, so he caught up with her quickly. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her towards him, enfolding her in his arms.
"Oh, how I love you," he whispered into her hair.
Lizzy sighed and burrowed into his chest. "And I love you," she said.
The two lovers remained in the embrace for several minutes, savoring the solitude. They both knew that once they reached Netherfield, they would have no time alone until after the wedding; society and propriety demanded they have a chaperone at all times.
"When shall we marry?" Lizzy asked as they began to slowly walk again.
"Would you like to be married with Jane and Oakley?" Darcy asked hesitantly.
"But their wedding is just a few days away!" Lizzy cried. "There is not enough time to call the banns!"
Darcy blushed and admitted, "I may have purchased a special license for us when I was purchasing one for Anne and her husband."
Lizzy stared at him in astonishment. "Even after I said such hateful things to you, you still wished to marry me?"
"I knew the moment you left the room that I had made a terrible mistake. I planned to return to Rosings within a week and spend the rest of my life begging you to forgive me. It was my fervent hope that you would grant that forgiveness, and I knew that once you did, I would not give you any time to change your mind."
Too overcome for words, Lizzy simply squeezed his arm with the hand she had resting on it. They walked on in silence for a few moments, then they turned up the drive towards Netherfield.
Entering the house, they were directed by the butler towards the drawing room. They were greeted by Jane, Oakley, and the Bingleys, who were all sitting in animated discussion about the events that occurred at Rosings with Lady Catherine. Darcy and Lizzy's arrival interrupted the beginning of the story, and Bingley was persuaded to begin again so Lizzy could hear the events in their entirety.
After everyone had laughed over Lady Catherine's displeasure – except Jane, who could not help but express sympathy for the poor mother whose daughter had married against her wishes – Georgiana looked at Darcy with an expectant gaze.
"Well?" she demanded.
"Well, what?" Darcy asked in a teasing response.
Georgiana rolled her eyes and huffed, crossing her arms in a way that was reminiscent of Lydia prior to her marriage and subsequent improvements.
Lizzy, taking pity on her friend, laughed and said, "We are to be married."
The room erupted into cheers and congratulations. The women all embraced, and the gentlemen shook hands and clapped Darcy on the back.
"When do you wish to be married?" Jane asked with concern. "I'm afraid we are taking our wedding trip to the North, and I do not wish to miss your wedding. However, it may be some time before are able to come back to Hertfordshire, as we must settle the boys in at Matlock."
Darcy looked at Lizzy questioningly. "Well," Lizzy said, "we were hoping, if it would not be too much difficulty, to be married with you?"
The room erupted into conversation, and the group spend the next hour discussing plans and offering alternatives. Jane was adamant that Lizzy deserved to have her share of the attention, as well as having time to make a wedding gown. Georgiana was just as insistent that Lizzy should marry first before Darcy could mess things up again. Thankfully, Darcy merely rolled his eyes at his sister's remarks.
Finally, the group came to a conclusion that would suit everyone, except perhaps Mrs. Bennet, who would never be satisfied with anything. Darcy and Lizzy exchanged happy glances – they were to be married!