Chapter 15
Christian
My favorite pastime used to be sailing. Or flying. Or the playroom.
My favorite pastime now is texting Ana.
It's Friday night, and it's all I want to do. Actually, all I want to do is see her. But per her latest response, she's busy tonight.
I'm at some bar with my friends. We're rallying to inspect someone's new boyfriend tonight. Personally, I'd rather be inspecting two men named Ben and Jerry in my freezer, but this will do.
I lean back in my desk chair and read it over again. She's funny and charming. It made me smile. And then it made me morbidly wonder if her own boyfriend will be joining the fun.
I don't know what it is about her. I've had submissives decide to end our partnerships because they wanted to pursue something that had the possibility of a romantic relationship, and I've never cared. I've been friendly and cared for all of them in some way, as people, but I never cared what they did outside of their time with me or thought about seeing them more often. I liked seeing them, but I didn't crave it.
With Ana… God, it's been just over a week, and I feel like she's a heroin drip. I feel on top of the world when I'm actually with her, and our little talks throughout the day keep my good mood at baseline. I think all of my staff thinks I'm losing it because I spend so much time smiling at my phone or computer. But now, I feel… I don't know. Resentment. Mostly resentment towards the guy who could have all of her time if he wanted to, but for some unknown reason, appears to choose not to. What a fucking moron.
I ended up doing a background check on him. He came up in hers as her only romantic link. Caleb Joseph Brooks. Born April 9, 1997, in Monterey, California. Moved to Montesano in his senior year of high school, where he presumably met and somehow wooed Ana. Received academic probation in college when a dorm inspection found drug paraphernalia in his desk. Graduated with a bachelor's in music. Now, lives in an apartment uptown with three other guys. They have a band called Sausage Army, and he is otherwise unemployed. I was born to hate this douchebag.
In summary, there is absolutely nothing on paper that tells me what the hell Ana would see in him. For five. Fucking. Years.
Maybe my bitterness comes from the fact that he's had so long with her, and I missed out on an entire decade. Maybe from the fact that she never talks about him, and when she does, she deflates, and if anyone should be happy, Ana should be. Or maybe it's from the fact that he could end up at her side in times when I would want to be… even if it would be inappropriate for me to be. I mean, I'll never be boyfriend material. I'll never want to be. I just like being around her.
I don't know what the fuck it is. I'm probably just still riding the high of finding her and I'll be back to normal soon. All I know is that I want as much time with her as possible, but so far, our schedules haven't been kind to us.
"Mr. Grey." I startle from my position hunched over my phone to find Taylor standing in the doorway. "Your brother is on his way up."
"Oh, joy," I mutter. "Thank you." He nods and retreats.
I head out into the great room, bracing myself for his arrival. It's been a while since Elliot harassed me on a Friday night, probably thanks to whatever woman he's been entertaining himself with as of late. I thought I was safe.
"Hey, you fucking hermit! You're coming out with me tonight," I hear him bellow. Jesus Christ.
"You're wasting your time," I call. I have zero desire to deal with his drunk ass tonight.
He barrels into the room. "Come on, man. You willingly have dinner with the rest of the family with your mysterious friend when I can't. I'm starting to feel left out," he mock-pouts. "Besides, it's not what you think. We're not going clubbing. I want you to meet my girlfriend tonight. Then maybe we'll go clubbing."
"Girlfriend?"
"Yeah."
"And this couldn't have warranted a phone call?"
"I just thought of it on the way there. Come on, please? I could use some brotherly support. I'm meeting her best friends for the first time."
"Since when are the kind of person who has a girlfriend?"
He shrugs. "Since I met her. She's different."
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Is this a fucking Hallmark movie? "Fine." I excuse myself to my bedroom to grab a jacket and quickly text Ana back while I'm out of sight. The last thing I need is for Elliot to find out how attached I am to my phone because of a friend who just happens to be a woman.
Looks like I'm playing the supportive brother tonight for a similar situation. I'm not sure if Ben and Jerry are strong enough to get me through that… maybe Jack Daniels.
"Alright, let's get out of here." I manage to keep the irritation out my voice. It's not often that Elliot asks me for a real favor. Let's get this over with.
We get out of the car at some God-awful restaurant and bar. Remind me why the fuck I said yes to this? Being a supportive brother is feeling overrated as hell all of a sudden.
"Anything in my teeth?" he asks as he fidgets with his jacket.
"Just the usual bullshit that spews out of your mouth."
He snorts. "Okay, showtime." He strides inside the restaurant, and I follow behind him.
"Oh, there he is!" I hear a female voice yell above the baseline restaurant chatter. "Over here, baby!"
He gets a noticeable extra pep in his step when he hears her. My eyes again look to the heavens as we reach their table. "Hey, baby. This is my brother, Christian."
The blonde stands up and extends her hand as we slide into the booth next to them. "Nice to meet you, Christian. I'm Kate, and this is my friend, Jose. My other friend just went to the restroom, she'll be right back."
"Hellooooo, Christian," the man with curly black hair nearly whistles, looking me up and down shamelessly. Looks like Elliot's got no competition from him…
"A pleasure, Kate, Jose," I say as amiably as possible.
"We just ordered drinks, but we asked for more time for food so you could get here—oh, Elliot, Christian, this is my best friend, Ana."
I whip my head up from the menu at the sound of what is currently my favorite name to what I can only assume is finally an actual hallucination, no doubt about it this time. Because standing at the edge of the table, looking startled and pleased, is my Ana.
"Hey, nice to meet you, Ana. I've heard a lot about you," Elliot says jovially.
She looks at him, then at me, blinks a few times, then smiles radiantly. "Uh… from which one?" she giggles. I beam at the sound of it.
"What do you mean?" Elliot glances at me and his brow wrinkles in confusion at the sight of the huge grin on my face. "What the hell? Do you two know each other?"
"Ana?" Kate presses.
I move over in the booth to make room for her, and she sits down next to me. "Do you remember the guy I told you about that I made friends with when I was sick? That I recently reconnected with?" Kate nods in confusion. "Well… meet Christian Grey."
"Holy shit!" Elliot yells. "You're the Ana!"
"Wait a second," Jose interjects, holding up both hands like he's trying to stop traffic. "Banana… my darling… are you telling us that all these years, you conveniently forgot to mention that your long-lost childhood friend was the most famous man in the city we all currently live in?"
"It… never came up," she says sheepishly.
The table erupts into laughter and Ana covers her face to hide hers. "Well, shit. Then I guess it's nice to meet you for two reasons, Christian. This is a tiny ass world," Kate says.
Elliot, Kate, and Jose all fall into conversation, leaving Ana and I in our little bubble. "Did you know that your friend was dating my brother?" I quietly ask.
"No! I had no idea who she was dating, just a first name. And I think you know that just a first name doesn't give you much to go on."
I never thought I'd be able to hear a joke about that and actually laugh, but here we are. "The world just seems to keep shoving us together."
"I know. I can't say I mind. Hey, maybe this means we would have met again even if you hadn't become my coworker." She playfully nudges my arm. "Still need that Jack Daniels?"
"Actually, I think I'm good. Still need that Ben and Jerry's?"
"Eh. Maybe I can wait now." Their drinks arrive then, and Elliot and I play catch up as we all order food. She takes a sip of her cocktail, something fruity looking. "Oh, I got that book for your mom. Can I just mail it to her?"
"You can give it to her the next time you have dinner at the house. She's already been asking about having you back."
Her cheeks pink. "That would be cool."
"Hey, Ana, have you heard from your stupid boyfriend?" Kate interrupts.
"Uh, no, not any more since earlier." I think I detect her shoulders slumping. Motherfucker.
"He said he might swing by tonight, but dude's a flake these days."
"Hey, Kate, you talking shit?" An unfamiliar voice jumps into the conversation. I turn to see the prick himself, in the flesh, standing at the end of the table. And just when I thought my night was looking up.
"It ain't shit if it's true, Kale. Elliot, Christian, this is Ana's boyfriend, Caleb. But Jose and I call him Kale, because that's about what he's as likeable as."
"Glad that you finally graced us with your presence. We thought you were too big of a hotshot for us now," Jose says. What the fuck is going on? Her friends seem to like him. They're ribbing him like old friends do. Don't they see that the light in her eyes is gone now that he's here?
"Well, if my girl isn't there, then why the fuck do I want to be?" I glance over at Ana, who is looking at him with a bland smile on her face. It's not touching her eyes.
Everyone starts to move over in the booth so he can sit down – on the end, on the other side of Ana – and I suddenly lose my appetite as I watch him briefly lower his lips to hers. "Kale, we have a very special guest tonight," I vaguely hear Kate saying. "This is my boyfriend, Elliot, and this is his brother. You may have heard of him. Christian Grey?"
The idiot nearly snaps his neck turning to look at me, but unfortunately, doesn't. "The Christian Grey? Goddamn. It's an honor." He reaches across Ana for a handshake, forcing her to jolt backwards. The lack of awareness of it makes my blood boil.
"Jesus, Kale, are you trying to decapitate my Banana?" Ah, so the friends notice something.
"Oh, sorry, babe." She just shakes her head.
I swallow against the acrid burning in my throat. "Caleb. I must thank you for allowing me to enjoy the company of your remarkable girlfriend over the past week. I'm sure she must be hard to give up, but I've certainly been reveling in it."
Ana's cheeks are suddenly aflame and Caleb's eyes narrow. He looks like the snake he is for a moment, then his expression neutralizes. "Oh. He's the buyer, isn't he?"
"He is," Ana hedges. For one horrifying second, I wonder if she's going to own me as a friend. For reasons I don't quite understand, the thought of her willingly concealing this part of us from her significant other is… painful. "But… uh, we'd met before that."
His eyes become snakelike again. "What are you talking about?" His tone is a bit more exasperated than is appropriate for a dinner table full of people, two of them strangers.
"I mentioned dinner with an old friend?"
He blinks a few times, then his eyes widen cartoonishly. "Are you saying that your childhood friend from the nuthouse was Christian Grey?"
"Hey," Elliot snaps. "Cool it with the nuthouse shit. A lot of kids need help, Ana and my brother just happened to be lucky enough to get it. And they got each other out of it, too." I'm a bit taken aback by his defense. But I can't say I'm not enjoying this fuckface being called out.
"It's 2021, bruh. We ain't be shittin' on mental health anymore," Jose says disapprovingly.
"Oh, yeah, obviously, guys. It was just a stupid choice of words," Caleb says, backtracking so hard, I'm wondering if he needs to ice an ankle. "But, uh… this is news. Ana?"
Ana takes a hefty sip of her drink while Kate eyes him speculatively. "Uh, Caleb… you're kinda putting her on the spot. She didn't tell any of us. That was her choice to make. It's not that serious, 'kay?"
Ana then puts her drink down and looks him squarely in the eyes. "I never felt like it was my place to talk about a former friendship with him without his consent, given that he's in the public eye. Now that we've reconnected and are friends again, I was going to tell you the next time I saw you, which is now."
Something flashes in his eyes, but then he puts on a smile. "Got it, babe. No worries." He slings an arm around her, his fingers nearly grazing my shoulder. I can feel her stiffen.
If a studio apartment is purgatory, this is hell.
"So, who's for more drinks?" Elliot nearly shouts. At least one person can read the fucking room. Although… maybe two. I catch Kate giving Caleb another suspicious glance. Something tells me that it's not just my bullshit meter that's off the charts.
This dinner went from an obligation, to fantastic, to abysmal. Ana barely said two words the rest of the meal, only speaking when spoken to. She just stared at some faraway corner of the restaurant, startling when someone called her attention. I watched every second of it.
This is not the Ana I know. And this is not going undiscussed.
When we get the check, I wordlessly pick it up. Finally, Ana comes to life, putting her hand over mine. "I can help."
"No," I respond, shorter with her than I mean to be. This evening is taking its toll on me, but that's no excuse to take it out on her. "No, Ana. Please. It's nothing to me. I like to do it."
She half-smiles. "Okay."
Caleb is on his phone, and Elliot and Kate and Jose are preoccupied with their tipsy discussions. I lower my voice. "Are you?"
"What?"
"Okay."
She stares at me for a moment, impassive. "I'm fine."
"Ana…"
"Please don't. Not right now," she nearly begs.
"Not right now," I concede. I fold my hand over hers that's still lingering near mine and slide the check to the end of the booth.
"Babe, can you give me a ride home?" Caleb asks, barely looking up.
She sighs almost inaudibly. "I was drinking. I'm getting an Uber."
An Uber? A beautiful young woman like her getting into a stranger's car? Absolutely fucking not. "I'll take you home."
She looks at me with confusion. "You drank, too."
"I have a driver who's more trustworthy than any of the ones on an app." Don't fight me, Ana. Not when it comes to you being okay.
"You don't have to do that," she says wearily.
"No, I don't, but I happen to have a vested interest in someone I care about getting home safely. It will ease my mind, Ana. Please."
Her expression softens. "Fine. I'm sorry."
I shake my head. "Don't be. I love your spunk. But thank you for bending it for me just this once." This gets a smile out of her, just as I hoped.
"Do you mind if I get in on that ride, too?" Caleb finally looks up from his phone to ask. Jesus take the fucking wheel.
Ana sighs. "Okay, seriously, we'll Uber. We can rideshare."
Now that's a definite absolutely fucking not. "I'll take you both. It's not a problem." It's a massive fucking problem, I hate this dude, but I want more time with you because he fucking stole it from me tonight.
"Sweet," he mutters in acknowledgement.
I think Ana is about to protest when Jose sneaks up on her. "Bye, Banana. Te amo, chica. Stop being such a stranger, got it?" he murmurs sweetly as he gives her a hug. "And bring more delicious men next time." I'm not sure I was supposed to hear that.
She laughs. "I know. I'll be better about seeing you guys. Come over some night and we'll do cookie baking and wine." Why does that sound kind of nice? Jesus, Grey.
"I'm sold." He turns to Caleb. "Kale! Look up! Life is passing you by! God, I feel like a father to a teenager." He snickers, but predictably does not take Jose's sage advice.
"Hey, Ana." Elliot pats her on the shoulder. "It was great to finally meet you. I hope I'll see you around either with Kate or with the fam."
She smiles, seeming to relax a bit more. "Me too, Elliot."
Kate steps in between them, looking over Ana as if she's checking for damage. "I'll see you soon. And… you know you can talk to me, right?"
"Sure. Why?"
"I don't know. You just seemed… off tonight," she says, lowering her voice.
I think I detect Ana's tension rise. "Just a long week. I'm okay. You picked a good one, Kate. I'll see you soon, okay?" She quickly turns back to me. "You sure about this?"
"Yes." No.
"Okay then, I'm ready when you are." Caleb wordlessly gets up without saying goodbye to the rest of the crew and heads for the door. Ana follows behind him, and I join her in step.
I'm trying to think of something to say to cheer her up when a group of obviously intoxicated women comes barreling towards us. One of them trips, hand outstretched to catch herself… coming right for my chest. A shiver of panic seizes me. Fuck. I brace myself for the pain.
But it never comes. I open my eyes to find that Ana has deftly moved between me and her, taking the full brunt of the falling drunk girl who appears to weigh a good deal more than her. "Fuck, Ana, are you okay?"
"Oh, sorry, sweetie!" the woman slurs.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Why did you do that?" I demand.
She looks at me like I have six heads. "She was going to touch you."
"And?"
"And you don't like that? I don't want you to be unnecessarily uncomfortable?"
So, she made herself uncomfortable. For me. "You could have been hurt."
"Well, I wasn't."
"Babe, let's go!" that fucker bellows from outside.
And I reach my boiling point. "Why does he fucking talk to you like that? What the hell does he think this is?"
She grabs my hand with one hand and my elbow with the other. "Christian, please, please, don't do this now."
"Ana, he can't—"
"Please."
Fuck. I really can't deny her anything. "This isn't over."
"No, I know that. Let me take care of this."
We've barely actually acknowledged anything in words, but I have a feeling that we both understand the gravity of what we're talking about. And that is the fact that her relationship is sucking the life out of her. "Let's get you home." I wrap an arm around her instinctually, and instead of removing it when her boyfriend is back in sight, I tighten it. He doesn't even notice. I want to break his phone. Or his hands.
"Hey, sweet ride," he comments when Taylor pulls the car up. I'm going to have to have the seats cleaned.
I opt to sit in the back, Ana sitting in the middle between us. Well, isn't this a nightmare come true. I feel very strange feelings churning within me. I want him to go. I want her all to myself. Why the fuck is this so… all-consuming?
"Miss Steele? Your address?" She gives it to him. "And Mr.…?"
"Brooks. I'll stay with Ana tonight." I feel my hand clench into a fist. Bastille better be fucking ready tomorrow. Or maybe I'll just have a Caleb Fucking Brooks punching bag made. Yeah. That sounds good.
The drive is quiet, and about halfway through, I take Ana's hand. I realize that this may be wildly inappropriate given that her boyfriend is sitting on the other side, but our dynamic has always included this and I'm not about to stop for this asshole. She doesn't pull away, even seeming to relax at the contact. I relax in sync, feeling good about the fact that I can give her that.
When we pull up in front of her apartment building, Caleb immediately gets out without a greeting to either me, or Taylor, or his own lover. Ana makes to slide out, but I hold onto her hand, and she turns to look at me. "It will be okay," she whispers. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"The ride. And for being you." She smiles halfheartedly. "I'll see you soon, I hope."
"You will."
"Okay. Goodnight, Christian."
"Goodnight, Ana." Don't go.
But she does. And as she closes the door and I watch her follow him into the building, I feel an unfamiliar ache, unlike anything I've ever felt. "Escala."
A/N: My favorite Jose is Jo-gay. And I'm sorry for slandering kale. I actually kind of like it.
I said less frequent updates, but then I type faster than I think. The whole story is outlined, I just have to actually write it. I know it's late, but maybe some of you are up, so here ya go.
Oh, Christian. Dude is about to lose it. Justifiably, I think. Your thoughts?