Hey guys! This is a fanfic I'm gonna beg you to read. I had written it by myself, at first. Then, its sole reader, 09sasha, wrote me reviews suggesting me to improve it. Well, it didn't happen. Then she decided herself to improve my story, since it is a theme so important to her: VULCANS.
She is amazing. She nailed it, owned my story. We made a great team. She rewrote parts of the story with amazing details and insights on Vulcans. I felt like I was reading a book. A hint: she is British and I'm Brazilian with American English. So, try to guess who wrote what.
This is the twisted version of the episode "Take Me Out to the Holosuite", by ST DS9. Enjoy, 'cause this is 09sasha's debut! I don't now why she hasn't written a story till now.
Strange day... There was nothing strange about Captain Sisko thinking of baseball... But that day...
His thoughts were interrupted by the comlink. It was Colonel Kira's voice.
"Kira to Sisko."
"Go ahead, Colonel."
"Captain Solok of Starship T'Kumbra is here to see you."
Now, that was not a good omen...
Sisko hesitated, but what else could he do? Just send him in.
There he was, that arrogant Vulcan. He hadn't changed at all.
"Welcome to Deep Space Nine."
"Your welcome is acknowledged."
Solok seemed pretty comfortable. Sisko offered him a seat and he sat, owning the room.
"It's been a long time." observed Sisko.
"Ten years, two months, five days."
"You mean you don't know it to the minute?"
The Vulcan nearly rolled eyes.
"Of course I do. But humans are often irked by such precision. Especially the more emotional humans."
Then Solok gave Sisko his repair list, adding his pretended congratulations to the Captain for the new medal he had just won. Which brought about the opportunity for Solok to boast he already had two medals.
"The T'Kumbra has been in combat for over six months," continued Solok "Spending time behind the lines would be a welcome change."
"This isn't exactly a safe harbor. We've seen our share of action." Sisko tried not to grind his teeth.
"Of course you have." replied Solok with a neutral expression and a tone full of sarcasm. Sisko looked at him with such contempt that anyone who wasn't a Vulcan would have flinched.
"We can upgrade your inertial dampners by the end of the day," Sisko tried to sound practical, but was fuming "but to begin to overhaul your warp core will take at least a week."
"Hm. That is most inefficient."
The smug pointy ear bastard. How could his expression remain frozen while he proferred insults.
"War is inefficient business." said Sisko.
Touché.
"Somewhat unprofessional attitude."
What was that answer? Struck a Vulcan nerve?
The double door opened without both of them realizing .
"However, I've come to expect a lack of professionalism and efficiency on Starbases run by human officers."
"So, you still hate humans that much, Solok?" a colorful voice interrupted him.
The Vulcan reaction caught Sisko off guard. The man got even paler than he was, swallowed hard and took a deep breath.
"Carrot. So you work here. It's been a long time."
The girl Solok referred as 'Carrot' had long orange flaming hair, was just a tad taller than Ezri Dax and was freckled all over.
But only Solok knew how many freckles she had.
"Did you count? The days?" she smiled sweetly at him.
"I preferred to forget."
She seemed hurt.
"I'm sorry, Captain Sisko, I just passed by to give you those reports. Didn't mean to interrupt. Excuse me."
And the red-haired left, hurriedly. In fact, she had seen the Vulcan in there and used it as an excuse to run errands to Sisko...
Sisko burst out laughing.
"Carrot? Lieutenant commander Jessica McCormick looks indeed like a 'carrot!' That will catch. How do you even know each other?"
The Vulcan seemed to be having problems controlling his anger. But he controlled it, anyway. He stood up and said.
"That's none of your business. And there is another matter not on the formal report. I need the use of a holosuit."
"To arrange a holosuit you need to talk to Quark. He owns the only ones on the Station."
"Then I'll speak to Quark," Sisko turned his back on Solok and started pressing random buttons on his PADD, but Solok went on "I have created a special program for my senior staff and they're quite eager to resume using it."
"Really?" Sisko asked, still looking at his PADD.
"Yes. In fact, you may find the program of some interest."
Sisko didn't even deign to look at the Vulcan.
"It is based on an Earth game." Solok persisted.
And that engaged Sisko interest.
"And what game would that be?"
After Sisko found out it would be baseball... It really piqued his interest.
After all, he thought, who did Solok think he was? Baseball was his game!
Jessica 'Carrot' McCormick didn't dare speak with Solok. Nothing worse than bumping into an ex who hated you because you hadn't been up to his Pon Farr expectations.
But everytime their eyes crossed on the Station, she was pulled into those glacial blue eyes of his. That sassy, mean mouth.
She approached him with a genuine smile.
"I could give a tour of the Station."
Solok almost frowned. Almost.
"I am adequately familiar with the stations layout."
"Really? So... can we go to the Replimat and talk? I'm off-duty." Which was a lie.
Solok noticed Jessica's right hand twitch and her head dip slightly. Solok, for 0.238 of a second, considered accepting, with the intent of making it a long lunch which would result in Jessica being caught in dereliction of her duties and it being written up on her record. He then considered that Jessica may have changed her plans by lying because she had met him. There was also the rumours and gossip that would be created and circulate by the emotional races on the station that Solok found unsettling. Solok, by 0.861 of a second, came to the conclusion that it was best to end this conversation, so stated "No. It would be an inefficient and illogical use of my time." He then turned and walked away leaving a very frustrated red-head.
There he was, sitting on the grandstands, watching Captain Sisko fail miserably at the try-outs. Jessica had considered trying out for the team but then thought better of it, Solok may not take well to her being on the opposing side.
Jessica wished she could say that she was here to be supportive of her crew, but that would be a lie. The reason she was here was another entirely. All she could see was that tall, dark and handsome Vulcan sitting with his ramrod straight back and perfect posture. The holographic breeze slightly moved his hair and that's when she realised she had become a stalker. Yep, her mother would be proud.
"Assessing your adversaries?" she sat by his side trying to control her heartbeat and act like she had been staring for an inappropriately long time. Solok didn't move, but Jessica could feel the tension that fell between them. Although she was surprised for not being blown off right away, she thought it was best to ask what she really wanted to know even after all these years.
"Solok... Why did we distance—"
When Rom accidentally threw the bat away, Solok thought he had seen enough. He also did not wish to engage in any more conversation with Carrot. After each interaction, he found his equilibrium was unsettled more and more and he required to spend longer suppressing his emotions in meditation each night.
"Solok, I'm sorry!" Jessica called out in hurt and slight desperation voice. Solok noticed he had to apply greater focus and will in order to maintain his bio controls and not return to her. He had hoped that ignoring her would have stopped her from trying to make conversation. Solok also noticed that walking away from Jessica was becoming more strenuous a task, and that his fingers tingled with electrical pulses that desired to touch Carrot's face.
Of course, every sorrow ends up voiced at Quark's and Jessica's was no different. Jessica ended up telling Quark the abridged version.
"What you want me to do, Quark? Throw myself at his feet?"
Quark smirked and leaned on his bar and towards Jessica slightly. "You didn't need to do that when it was me."
Jessica raised her glass, smiling at the memories. "Yeah, we had good times. We enjoyed most of your holosuits, you taught me a lot. The one with the three moons is still my favourite, though I think it was what we were doing there that made it so."
He gave a little laugh, flushing, while leaning in a little closer so they were inches apart. "Jessy, you were the one who didn't want commitment."
Jessica laughed before a sadness settled in her eyes and she quietly, but seriously, said. "With a man in love with another woman? Jadzia was always a ghost between us."
Quark stayed silent pulling back a fraction. He couldn't speak, for there was a lump in his throat. Jadzia was always difficult for him to think about.
"I'm sorry." she whispered as she reached for his hand.
They were both startled away from each other by an abrupt male voice that was demanding louder than required for the noise level in the bar at that time "Ferengi, what must one do to be served here?"
Jessica knew who that calm, controlled, full of anger voice belonged to without having to turn around. How long had he been standing there?
Solok placed his order to Quark while Jessica tried to make conversation. "So... It's the big day tomorrow! May I watch?"
Solok followed the Ferengi Quark with his eyes refusing to look directly in Jessica's direction. He noticed Jessica in his peripheral vision turn to look at Quark, who was making his way back to them. The surge of anger that had only started to settle flared to life and demanded to be satisfied, that Carrot's attention be on him. Solok stated with barely controlled anger "The ballpark is not mine." Solok was aware that what had his control slipping was the realisation that Carrot was not his, and he still wanted her.
Quark placed the bowl with the Vulcan's soup on the bar in front of Solok and then left them alone.
Jessica, though, could see the Vulcan was having difficulty controlling his emotions and could not help rejoicing that he was again speaking to her. "Regardless, I... I missed you, Solok. I never forgot you." she confessed.
The Vulcan was repeating mantras in his head desperate to keep his veneer of control. He could not let Jessica know how much power she held over him. Her confession was breaking him, hope started to creep in. He needed her gone from him and far enough from the Ferengi. Solok knew that if he saw the Ferengi touch her again, he would rip the Ferengi's arm off and break every finger in his hand.
Solok couldnt help but look to the bases where there was observers. "She isn't here. Carrot isn't here. I'm not as important as that Ferengi. She should be here. I did not tell her that she should not. I want her here, I want her eyes on me, I want her to see me victorious."
"Solok, focus!" cried one of his teammates.
The Vulcans won in a landslide victory, and if their Captain applied a little to much force to his throws and hit the ball that much harder it was acceptable, as the slight miscalculations made did not change the outcome. Solok, however, did not feel satisfied Carrot had not come to the game, she had missed it all. She had missed him being victorious over Sisko, but more importantly, the Ferengi and his family. Carrot had stayed away and left him alone, as he had asked of her.
After the game, Sisko's team all went to Quark's. Solok, accepted the invite, sitting there, sulking, while Sisko's team made fun of him. Solok could not help but consider the failure and defeat he felt. He had not won that which he truly wanted.
Jessica watched from the railing above, trying to keep her distance as he wanted. She knew why she was there watching him, after all this time she still loved him and hated to see him unhappy. She also wanted to know what happened but also, for him to know her side as well. She needed to talk to him and finally end this farce. She would try one last time, she just hoped he would finally listen and talk to her, she could not bare to be hurt anymore by this. If he couldn't accept this she needed some hope at closure.
Solok entered his temporary accomodations on Deep Space 9 and could not help the wave of discontent he felt briefly closing his eyes. He desired to be back aboard the T'Kumbra in his own quarters.
Then someone chuckled and he realized he wasn't alone. "Computer, lights." When he saw who was there, he was suprised, but at the same time, not. Only Carrot would break into his quarters.
"Carrot. I don't even know your name anymore. What are you doing here? Shall I call security?"
Jessica couldn't say that it didnt hurt hearing Solok say what he did, and in fear that he would have her removed and lose her chance to tell him her side and apologise, it all just started to pour out. "You really don't like me, do you, Solok!? You blame me for ruining your Pon Farr, I know. I didn't mean it to blow out of proportions. I went to the Sickbay to treat the injuries of your... vigour and then, gossip spread through the Academy. I'm sorry. You acted like a Neanderthal, even though it wasn't your first Pon Farr, according to you. Newsflash, Vulcan. You were my first... Why choose me!? I gave you- I thought you- but you didn't, did you... was I just an experiment to see what humans were like... to be discarded when it became public... were you ashamed of me... what happened? Why didn't you talk to me?"
Solok blanched and his blue eyes became wider. Just for a second, but she noticed it through the tears that were gathering in her eyes as she heaved a breath in desperately trying to calm herself.
Then, he approached her cautiously, touching her hair. The bright orange strands seemed to flow like water through his fingers.
"You blame yourself when there is another to blame. I was... ashamed, but not of you. I was ashamed of my condition, of hurting you, I could not look into your green tourmaline eyes anymore. I could not even reconcile with myself what I had done... I remember the pain in your eyes from how I had hurt you during my time... We chose each other, remember? We had established a relationship. I was... careless and foolish. I continued to behave foolishly for all those years and in the process, it would appear I have continued to hurt you. There are no excuses. I can only apologise for the offence against you. "
She raised up slightly to touch his face gently. "Oh, Solok, had I known the truth before... How you feel..."
She kissed him without permission, delving her tongue into his mouth. But he pushed her away, mortifying her.
"Oh, yes, I remember that... Part of human coupling ritual..."
"Do you object to me kissing you?" she asked, trying to be direct so there were no further misunderstandings between them. When Solok did not immediately answer, Jessica started to remove her Starfleet uniform taking Solok's silence as permission to continue.
Solok stopped her.
"Not now, Carrot. It's not that you aren't... desirable, but..."
She was shocked as if a bucket of ice cold water had been tipped over her head. She was hurt. Humiliated. And crying as she lowered her head and started to retreat into herself.
Solok felt alarmed, his control was in tatters. He was feeling emotions that should have been repressed, that were fighting for dominance. He needed time to centre himself and meditate on what he had learnt today. He needed to formulate a plan for them to go forward. He did not want to make the same mistakes he had made all those years ago.
It was as Jessica turned away facing the door, that Solok registered Carrots's tears and slumped form. He was horrified, he had rejected her again but not the way she believed. He did not wish to be the Neanderthal she had accused him of being last time he was with her in that way. What could he do?! Without thought for the second time that day he reached out and took Jessica's arm to get her attention. Unlike Constable Odo umpiring the baseball game, she was essential to him and he could not let her go. In his urgency, Solok had forgotten the difference between her and him, the slight pull of her arm towards him knocked Jessica off balance and sent her falling into his chest. Solok wrapped his arms around to steady her and then, without thought, tightened his arms to bring her in closer as if afraid she would leave again.
"You are important to me." Solok could not say more for the battle in his head was such that he felt completely compromised and desperately needed to meditate.
Jessica sobbing in Solok's arms asked "I know you still have some leave here at the Station. Spend it with me. Let's forget the past."
Solok tried to disguise, but he could never have expected that proposal in Carrot's emotional state. He knew he would need to do a lot of work, he did not remember Carrot's self esteem being so fragile and was concerned that he had done this to her.
"So?" she asked, anxiously.
He kissed her forehead, tenderly and whispered on her mouth. "I find it agreeable. And I will be back from time to time. After all, Vulcans experience Pon Farrs every seven years."
She beamed.
"When shall be your next!?" she sounded almost desperate.
To her surprise, the left side of Solok's mouth crept up half a centimeter which would be an ear splitting grin on anyone else.
Solok was smug. "Haven't you been keeping tabs?"
She wished that that hadn't been a joke. If only she knew they would meet again, she would have kept tabs, all right.
"Solok, you're the love of my life," she thought. What she hadn't realized was that she had thought out loud.
"Come here, Carrot." he ordered, moving her in the direction of the sofa, before he sat down pulling her onto his lap to help with their height distance as he touched his forehead to hers in such a human gesture that it surprised her. Solok then suprised her again, when he stroked his first two fingers of his right hand down Carrot's hand whilst still keeping her close. As Carrot returned the Vulcan gesture Solok allowed his eyes to close.
As they continued to hold each other they both started to calm, feeling the other presence. Jessica lost track of time before startling in realisation that she was still on duty and her break was over. She knew she had no business wondering around and needed to get back to her station. Solok, who was startled by Carrot suddenly tensing, opened his eyes and pulled away to better see her face.
Jessica quickly explained, which resulted in Solok's eyebrows raising in suprise by Carrots's distraction from her duties. He did not know whether or not to be pleased that she placed him even above her work.
Before leaving, she glued her mouth to his and said, "I love you Solok. You and only you."
"Know that, Carrot. I don't ever... have never... nicknamed anyone."
She didn't say anything, only thinking while beaming with her heart pounding about how much she wanted to stay and continue touching him.
But unfortunately, duty calls.