1 JON I
His heart was heavy, the raven disturbed him beyond words can describe. She was dead, his Dany was dead, really? he didn't believe it, no he didn't want to believe it. Even when he was coming back from fighting her men, defeating them, chasing them all over the north
The north…
That's what really matters, right? His homeland, his people
I am the shield that guards the realm of men*
Even after her betrayal, her heart change and her madness he can't find it in his heart to hate her
Who killed her? How did they even defeated the dragons? Who was even left to resist her after the massacre?
How did they manage it? How dare they kill his queen?
His queen?
He couldn't still call her that when he already chose his side, when he left his post to defend his people. He should be thankful that someone else managed to kill her before the time came and he would have to march his troops to stop her from invading his homeland
Was he ever going to do it?
Yes he would, he would betray her, he did betray her!
What was he supposed to do when she ordered him to stay at Harrenhal while sneaking her unsullied to white harbor trying to conquer the defenseless north
At the time he didn't understand the order and was slightly hurt by her casting him out from her main army but after he saw the floods of people fleeing the scorching city, heard the tragedies told on their tongues, the hell raining from the skies, he was only grateful he wasn't part of that massacre. He was even grateful that his slightly far post allowed him a rapid retreat when he received the warning raven from Tyrion "from one bastard to another…."
Apparently Tyrion disagreed with Dany about her ruthless ways, burning Varys alive, demolishing the city after its surrender! Who would have thought Dany was capable of such cruelty, such deceive, to lead him away from the north and then ship her men to attack it!
He bent the knee to her despite all the objections, despite all haters. What else did she want? What else could he give her? Wasn't that enough? Wasn't he enough?
If it wasn't for Tyrion, he don't want to think what was going to befall them, is he still alive? Did she burned him also? Did he shift his alliance with the winner again? Did he survive the madness?
"We are nearing Winterfell your grace, should the troops march in or camp outside?" officer Larence Snow approached him inquiring
Your grace?
Is he the king in the north again? When did they start calling him that again?
Well, come on, as if they ever stopped in the first place!
No wonder Dany succumbed to madness, ever since the long night and she just changed. Maybe she wanted to be queen of the seven kingdom more than she loved him, that if she ever did. He can't be sure now, he can't be sure if he even loved her. He is no better, he left her to suffer alone during the victory celebrations, as his people continuously disregarded her status while glorifying their hero!
Their hero!
What kind of a hero betray his woman and his brothers?
He bent the knee to her and yet he left her, he stole his brothers heritage
Even if his betrayal to his queen was somehow forgiven but what about Winterfell, residing in its lord room, ordering people around, calling himself king in the north!
I shall hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory.
Gods it should have been Robb, it should have been Bran, it should have been Reckon. The memory alone, almost brought tears to his eyes.
It's their birth right
Damn you Sansa, he only wanted his old tower room and she just laughed….
"Your grace?" Larence repeated with concern in his green eyes
He should pay more attention, this will not do
"Ahmm, Aye Larence, we are entering Winterfell, men need to rest but don't release the troops we don't know where is the Dothraki troops now"
"As you command your grace, I will lead on to inform Winterfell of your grace arrival"
He nodded his approval and was lost again to his miserable thoughts. Who will they meet next? The Dothraki, kings landing city watch, the golden company. Whomever the victorious was. Which of them will attack first or it even might be someone else, he still don't know who killed Dany
Another problem for another day. Right now he is so tired, his body and soul. He needs some time to rest, to grief, and to right the wrong
He should get rid of this cursed title, Sansa wrote of Bran's arrival, so be it. He will bend the knee to him and …
And what then? Leave again? To where? The wall is no longer there, even the free folk are here now. To the south? Is there anything, anyone left, here is the only family he had ever known. Gods, how much he missed Bran, he must be a full grown man now
Lord of Winterfell and soon to be king in the north
But will the northern lords accept a cripple as their king? He is a trueborn Stark with the blood of the first men, he is the best they have, and he could stay to help him with the army if needed
He didn't meet him in ages, he must have changed a lot. He don't know the man, how can he throw that on him, he once thought he knew Dany and look how it ended
But He can't think of any other way, he doesn't know what's right and what's wrong anymore. Maybe when he rest for a while he could reach a decision, Let him stay king in the fucking north for now
His mind kept in this turmoil all the way back while his pace was kept slow with tiredness and the effect of his recent injuries. He need to tend to those when he reach home. He was dragged out of his thoughts by Ghost unusual irritated movements. His officer approached him again returning from Winterfell "your grace, lady Sansa apologize for the inconvenience. Some folks are being hosted inside Winterfell walls and she begged you to leave the army outside and only enter with your entourage"
Strange, and stranger was the hesitation on Larence face
"Speak up, what do you want to say?"
"ammm, I beg your forgiveness your grace , I know it's not my place but I would advise against it"
Apparently the officer isn't trusting Sansa to the extent of voicing it aloud
"Why Larence? "
The boy wetted his lips in obvious worried gesture and answered "The whole guard was changed, your grace. I didn't see any of our men who were left to protect Winterfell"
The officer didn't dare to say more
Jon looked to ser Davos and saw the man's hesitance also, could it be little finger? What was he plotting this time? She would betray her brother for him, mmm her half brother anyway…..
However the bulk of knights of the Vale were with him as well as Lord Yohn Royce their leader himself
Baelish doesn't have enough men to plot against him in broad day light but being cautious would never hurt, he decided to ride to Winterfell with Lord Royce, Lord Glover, Ser Welys Mandrly and Ser Davos with few trusted soldiers and Ghost, leaving Gendry Baratheon/Waters (he doesn't really know how to address him now but let's drop that to sometime later), Ser Donell Waynwood and Larence Snow outside with strict orders to attack the castle shall anything happen
It would be stupid to attack him with all the northern lords around but who can forget the red wedding. He hoped he wasn't leading them to their demise
It might be nothing after all, that's what he told Larence Snow when he begged to accompany him and that's what he kept telling himself despite Ghost's rare uncharacteristic irritability. He kept circling him and jumping on the poor horse who flinched over and over and almost threw Jon off
Finally, he yelled at Ghost "enough boy, what's wrong with you?" It was only enough to drew ghost off the horse but did nothing to calm him
As they drew nearer and nearer, Jon felt people looks on him strange but they kept chanting king in the north
King in the north!
With trepidation, they enter the gates of Winterfell, from afar he can recognize the tall figures of Sansa, Petyr Baelish and someone else equally tall and broader, maybe he is Ser Lyn Corbray but he is almost certain Lyn was much shorter. He is sure of it and then he heard that sharp intake of breath just in the same time he came close enough to identify the third person
He abruptly halted his horse and climbed down or rather threw himself off it, he caught himself before falling to the ground and whispered incredulously ROBB!
*The Night Watch Oath