A/N: Post-finale fic about memories, feelings and how Chuck and Sarah cope after Quinn. It isn't like my other fics. There will be a lot of unhappiness, and it will take some time to change, but I always like a happy ending, so be patient.

No betas were harmed in the production of this. So, there may be typos and if any British words or phrases creep in, I apologize.

This is my first fic with lyrics at the start of each chapter. I have to thank Zettel for the chats we've had about how he uses lyrics, and how songs can even drive the stories. Many of the songs in this fic ganged up on me, forcing me to write it how I have! The chapters will all be quite short, so that the lyrics do indeed dictate the chapter content. You'll also get to see some of my musical taste, sorry.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck or the songs / lyrics I have used, but I do recommend re-watching the show and listening to the songs (you can find the all on YouTube or your streaming services).

After You

Chapter 1 - Leaving

You'll love again, I don't know when
But if you do, I know that
You'll be happy in the end

"Trilogy"
Emerson, Lake & Palmer

"Chuck, kiss me."

He presses his lips to hers, then pulls back slightly. He wraps his left hand around her neck and pulls her closer and gives her that kiss. It lasts for minutes, both with their eyes closed, enjoying it.

But, the kiss didn't work.

As they pull apart, Chuck can see disappointment in her eyes. She looks down briefly, trying to hide that disappointment, but then looks back at him.

Chuck feels so dejected. The kiss had to work! He needed the kiss to work! But it didn't.

He knows he's lost her.

Sarah watches him, guessing what he is thinking.

The kiss had been good. Great even. The best kiss she can remember. What's more, it stirred up feelings in her. Strong feelings for this man. She suspects that she does love him, like he says, but that is such an alien feeling.

She has never loved anyone before. She did enjoy being with Bryce, but it wasn't really love. It was safe. It was comfort. It was post-mission sex. Nothing more.

This feeling she has for Chuck is different. It is overwhelming. It is terrifying. She has to get away from it, from him.

But she doesn't want Chuck spiraling downhill, as it looks like he will. She wants him to have hope. She reaches for him.

Chuck is sitting there looking at her, but not really at her. Through her. At his dreams. Their dreams. All now looking like they have been destroyed by one man, Quinn. Chuck wonders how he will be able to continue without her. She is his everything.

He suddenly feels her hand grasp his wrist and focusses back on her face.

Holding his wrist, Sarah talks slowly to make sure he clearly hears what she is saying. "Chuck, the memories didn't come back to me." She smiles sadly, "It wasn't a magic kiss."

Chuck interrupts her, "I didn't expect it to, but Morgan gave me such hope…" He trails off in that melancholic state again.

Sarah doesn't want him to stop listening, so she shakes the wrist she is holding. He looks up again.

"Sorry. Can't seem to concentrate," he murmurs.

This is making her feel sad too. She softly replies, "I know."

She has to continue what she wanted to say, again slowly and clearly. "Chuck, the memories didn't return, but feelings did. It was a great kiss. I do have feelings for you. Strong feelings. I can imagine falling in love with you."

She expects that will help him.

He starts to brighten as she speaks, but the final sentence makes him frown. "So, you don't actually love me, then." His shoulders slump to go with the sadness that increases as he says these words.

All the words she said and he focusses on that part!

She shakes her head. "No, sorry Chuck, I don't."

This isn't going how she wanted it to. She has to get it back under control. To steer it right. "Chuck, I think I could, but at the moment my head is in a spin. I've lost five years of memories, Chuck. Can you imagine how that feels?"

Chuck realizes he hadn't thought about how she must feel. He has been so wrapped up in how he feels. He shakes his head and quietly says, "No, Sarah, I can't."

Sarah looks pleadingly at him. "Chuck, I have to get my head together and understand how I feel. About everything. Including you. But not only you." He has to understand what she is saying.

"So, you're leaving me." It isn't a question, more a statement.

She wants to look away from him, away from the pain in his eyes, but she holds his gaze as she stands up. "I am. But, Chuck, I will come back, when I remember."

He jumps up and immediately retorts, in a louder voice, "And what if you don't? Don't remember?"

She doesn't want to think about that. That would be awful for her. For both of them. She cries out, "Why do you have to say that? Why do you have to hurt us both?"

He knows this isn't helping. He wanted to be strong for her, offering his support to her and a place to come home to, but he's losing those thoughts. He knows his words will be driving her further away, but he can't stop himself. He no longer cares about her pain, her needs, just his own. He shouts back, "Because I have to know!"

She hardens herself. She isn't going to be hurt any more. "Then I won't return! Please don't wait for me!"

He falls to his knees, sobbing.

Even though he is hurting her, she can't watch this. She should just walk away, but she doesn't.

She bends down to kneel by him, places a hand on his shoulder and softens her voice, "If that happens, Chuck, you will be alright. You are a good man, even though you are only thinking of yourself at the moment. I forgive you. If I don't come back, you should find someone else to love. You will find someone who loves you."

He wails, "I'll never love someone like I love you."

She has to stop this. She quietly replies, "You'll love again, Chuck, and when you do, you will be happy again. I really do believe that."

Her kind words, even though ones he doesn't believe, calm him slightly. She has always had the ability to calm him, even in the worst situations.

He straightens his back and looks at her. "I don't want to push you away, Sarah. I know it feels like I don't care about your feelings, or your needs, but I do. I am sorry for being selfish. It just hurts so much."

He shakes himself and looks into her eyes, willing her to understand what he says next. "I will wait for you, Sarah, however long it takes. I'll be here for you. And if you ever need anything, call me. I will always help, however I can."

She can see the determination in his eyes. There is no point arguing with that. She takes his right hand in her left. "Okay, Chuck. Thank you. I'll come back, if I can."

She releases his hand, gets up and walks back to her car. She doesn't look back. She gets in the car, still not looking back, and drives off.

He watches her go, knowing that this is the end. He will never see her again.

A/N: Sorry, but I warned you, not a happy start. I blame the songs I like to listen to and the fact that I'm a pessimist! Just remember, happy ending.

Leave a review and let me know what you think. I'm not expecting positive reviews for this one!

As the chapters are going to be short, I'll try to get them out more frequently than a weekly update.

If you're not a member of the Chuck FanFiction Facebook group, think about signing up and talking to the rest of us. You can grumble about this fic there too!