A/N: I was talking to Steelejay about characters I liked in the show. One of those was Jeff Barnes. I don't think he gets much coverage in fanfic, so I decided to write one about him.
Slight update. Thanks to MyNameIsJeffNImLost for a PM highlighting my use of the British word 'wardrobe' rather than the American 'closet'. That's now changed. British readers will be glad there was no water involved, so he didn't want her flushing her clothes down the toilet. ;)
No betas involved. All mistakes are mine.
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Chuck, other than the DVD box set, and I'm making no more from it either.
Hero
It has been over a week since their last mission. Chuck would normally be over the moon about that, but Sarah's had to return to DC for re-evaluation, so he is missing her. Since she moved in with him, it felt like everything was conspiring against them having time alone together. They'd been with others plenty, usually holding hands, but alone time eluded them. Yes, they'd slept together, but after making love they were usually too tired to talk. Now, she's been gone for four days and won't be back for another four, so he's lonely.
What's worse, being on his own lets his insecurities creep back into his head. When she's with him, everything feels good; each of them being with the one they'd chosen over all others. She hasn't actually said she loves him, but he knows she does. Those insecurities, though. He knows he shouldn't, but the fact that she hasn't taken anything from her case and put it into the closet, makes him nervous.
He has to keep busy to take his mind off such thoughts. So, here he is, in the cage in the Buy More, repairing PCs.
He is so engrossed that he doesn't know anything about the attack on the store until Morgan rushes to him.
"Chuck, we're under attack!"
Chuck looks in the monitor viewing the outside of the building. He sighs. "No, we're not, Morg."
Morgan is pacing, just inside the cage, and flailing his arms around. "We are, Chuck. Three men with baseball bats and two with guns. I have to get out of here, and so do you." He turns and starts for the door.
Chuck notices Morgan had knocked the power cable from the next computer down onto the floor with his flailing arm. He tries to call that out to his friend, but it's already too late. It's like watching a slow-motion video. Morgan trips on the cable, then the lip of the cage, as he falls out. As he does so, he grabs the nearest thing, which is the outer edge of the open door. As he crashes into the bottom monitor against the wall, he pulls the door shut.
Quiet settles on the scene.
Morgan is lying on the floor, just outside the cage. He's obviously cracked his head on the edge of the monitor and his head is bleeding. Chuck can see Morgan's body moving as he breathes in and out, so he knows his buddy is still alive, but is not going to be of any help for some time.
The door locks when it closes, that being the best way of working around the fact that Jeff and Lester keep forgetting to lock it at night. Chuck can see the key hanging on the wall, near to where Morgan is lying, but it is out of his own reach.
So, Chuck is now locked in the cage. Just when armed men have come into the store. Great!
Chuck looks at the other monitors showing various parts of the store. He can see none of the other store staff.
There weren't many in that day, just Big Mike, Morgan, Lester, Jeff, Casey and himself. He thinks about those individuals.
Lester would be of no help at all, as usual. He'd be hiding somewhere. He would probably have been doing that anyway, even before the attack.
Big Mike is doing the same, hiding in his office.
Jeff is the only man that is moving out there, which itself is frightening.
Casey has gone over to Castle, via the Orange, Orange, while the Buy More entrance is being repaired from damage. Someone in the Buy More had spilt a full mug of coffee in the electronic key. He still doesn't understand how that had happened through the locker. An authorised repairman had arrived at the Orange, Orange thirty minutes ago and is in Castle, fixing the the main unit which had shorted out, so Casey is supervising. Somehow, the lockdown trigger had been activated, so the two men will be stuck in Castle for some time.
Chuck doesn't know if the attack is spy related. If it wasn't for the guns, it just looks like angry men who didn't get the products they wanted. Probably the latest game, which had sold out before all the people reserving it could collect.
He doesn't want to take risks, though, so he calls Casey.
"What's happening out there, Bartowski?" growls Casey over the phone.
"I don't know, Casey. I'm stuck in the cage."
"Can't you get one of those Buy Morons to let you out?"
"Only if they come out here."
"Hiding?" Casey grunts.
"You know some of them do anyway, Casey, but now, definitely."
Grunt.
Just then, Jeff wanders in. Chuck thinks he doesn't look as spaced as normal.
"Jeff," Chuck calls. "Get me out of here."
Jeff looks at him in the cage. Chuck can see he was wrong before. Jeff is just as stoned as ever.
Squinting, Jeff obviously tries to work out who he is looking at. He then says, "Why? Are you a celebrity?"
He has obviously started watching his recording of the NBC series, "I'm a Celebrity … Get Me out of Here!". Chuck knows Jeff fancies one of the female contestants on the show. Hell, he fancies any woman, but this one in particular.
"Jeff, you know I'm not!"
Turning and walking away, Jeff says "Then you stay in the jungle."
Chuck watches as Jeff goes out onto the shop floor. The three men in there with baseball bats ignore him. They obviously know he is completely harmless and won't bother them in any way. The two men with them, with guns, obviously aren't so sure. They eye him suspiciously. Chuck guesses he is seeing two groups. Maybe the second are actually spies and after Chuck himself. That is worrying. He can't see them clearly enough to flash. Maybe Casey can help.
"Casey, can you focus the cameras on the guys with the guns?"
"Already on it."
"Send them to my phone."
"Done."
Chuck receives two photo messages and opens the first.
He flashes. Ex-CIA gun for hire.
The second is another ex-CIA agent, but this one is recorded as having gone rogue.
These are not angry customers. They must be after him.
He tells Casey.
"Damn it! I'm still stuck here until the doors unlock. They both locked when the man here tripped the lockdown." Casey grumbles.
Casey continues, "I'll call the LA office to send men, but even if they're ready immediately, it'll take them at least twenty minutes to get here."
Chuck groans. "Then I'm on my own."
"Don't do anything stupid or Walker will skin me alive!"
Not an attractive image, but with her skills with knives, one that his girlfriend could probably achieve without breaking into a sweat.
It has only been five minutes, but it feels like fifty.
Casey had called back saying the NSA team would be at least another fifteen minutes. Then they need to get in and win through to him, which would probably add another five.
Chuck knows he is starting to panic, but after all, he has nothing better to do. He tries to think of something else. Jeff's comments give him something. He starts thinking about the "I'm a Celebrity … Get Me out of Here!" show.
Chuck had watched a couple of episodes, when it had been on the previous year. Ellie had loved it. It was strange how someone so sensible could get so into something so contrived.
Sarah had kept quiet in the first episode, only telling him afterwards how stupid it was. Chuck had made a number of sarcastic comments and got very angry Ellie looks for doing so.
Casey had been with them for the second episode, after a meal. He certainly didn't keep quiet. His comments about 'real jungle survival', had prompted Sarah to start up, too. She'd had to confess to spending time in the Australian jungles to Ellie. The reason being a previous boyfriend, so Ellie had backed off, not wanting to upset her brother. That had irritated Chuck and he joined in. By the end of the episode, they'd pissed Ellie off so much, she banned the three of them from watching it with her and Devon. Devon had kept quiet throughout. Now Chuck wonders if Devon is just watching it wishing that they could go back to "Doctors without Borders."
"what's that idiot doing?" Casey's growl brings him out of the jungle. Chuck stops thinking about the show.
Looking at the video feed on one of the monitors, Chuck watches Jeff approaching one of the gunmen.
Casey advises him, "I've a mike just by them. Listen."
Jeff is obviously examining the man's gun. "Hey, I used to use one of those in the jungle. I was the best."
Chuck is confused. Jeff had never been out of LA, so had definitely not been in a jungle. He doubts Jeff has ever used a gun, either. Then he has a light bulb moment. It is in one of Jeff's video games.
The man turns to Jeff and says, "Well, I'm the best now, so piss off."
The other spy obviously heard him and is not in agreement. "Hey, I'm better than you!"
Jeff interrupts their potential argument. "The three of us, in the jungle. Follow me."
The two men look askance, but then follow.
"Best video game, ever," mutters Jeff, as he leads the way to the home theater room.
Casey activates the microphone in the room that the three men are entering.
"I killed more people that you in Mozambique," the first man is arguing.
"Only because you used grenades. Anyway, I shot more than you in Cairo," the second man replies.
Jeff looks at the men. "We'll go for the jungles in Vietnam in '68. Local snippers everywhere. You have to get to the safe house, five miles away, taking out as many as possible on the way."
Chuck winces. This wasn't America's finest hour, but he guesses that Casey would approve.
He hears an approving grunt.
The second man says, "Why not just kill the people in this store?"
The first replies, "How many have you seen? I've only seen this idiot and the three men we followed in. That's not enough."
Jeff chimes in again, pointing at the screen. "There's about a hundred waiting for you here."
The two gunmen are obviously not the brightest of the bunch. That has been obvious from the start of their argument, but more so now as they put down their guns and reach for the game's controllers.
The game starts. As the three of them start moving forward through the trees on the screen, the three men with baseball bats enter the room.
"Cool," says the tallest, slumping into the cushions on the floor.
The shortest jumps onto the sofa and the other joins him.
Jeff had all 5 men engrossed in the game.
Way to go, Jeff, Chuck thinks.
Then he remembers Casey is still on the phone. "Casey, are you watching this?"
The response he receives is unexpected, to say the least. "They should have someone covering their back. Any of those commies could get them."
Chuck is stunned. "Casey, are you getting into video games?"
After a grunt of disgust, Chuck hears, "Of course not. Just an observation. If he keeps them occupied for another eight minutes, the cavalry will arrive to save the day."
Chuck watches the screen and how Jeff is leading them passed the trenches. He hears Jeff say, "Don't slip into those. They're traps."
"Traps?" questions the first man.
"Best case, you lose your legs. Worst, the knives slice through your dick and into your body," drawls Jeff.
Chuck can see all of the other men wince.
"Behind the trees," Jeff mutters.
"Which trees? There's trees all around us," the second man cries, sounding panicked.
"'leven o' clock," Jeff replies.
The man spots the target, one man peering around a tree, holding a rifle. The agent shoots him between the eyes. "Yes! I'm one up."
They can hear the first man growling.
The three of them continued forward. Then, two targets appears ahead, looking around trees on the first man's side. He rapidly shoots both; one through the throat and one in the chest. Both drop to the ground. He grins and turns to the other agent and says, "2:1."
While they are looking at each other, Jeff shoots three more men. He says nothing, but he is now in the lead. The usually vacant man, is completely focused.
"Damn!" the two agents exclaim simultaneously.
Chuck then hears Casey. "Come on, Barnes."
Chuck shakes his head. He is definitely going to tease the ex-Marine about this, but, right now, one of them needs to focus on the time. He looks at his watch. In just over two minutes, the NSA team should arrive and start cutting an opening through one of the locked glass doors. Then, they'll be in.
"Casey, have you told the NSA team where the men are in the store?"
"Of course I have, Numbnuts!" snaps his friend.
The game continues. Casey muttering his encouragement now and then, but Chuck can still hear it. By the time Chuck spots the NSA team approaching the door, the score is "Jeff: 5, Agent one: 4, Agent two:3".
They can all hear the sound of helicopters in the game. Chuck grins. That will mask any noise made by the NSA team.
Three minutes later, all five men, the baseball team and the rogue agents, have real guns pointing at them.
The rogue agents are taken away in handcuffs and others held, while waiting for the local police to arrive.
Jeff is grumbling. "Hate winning by default."
One of the NSA agents comes and opens the door to the cage, letting Chuck out.
Chuck immediately rushes through to the home theater room and hugs Jeff.
Jeff looks confused, "I know you. You're Chuck. Aren't you with the blonde babe?"
Chuck is so happy he doesn't complain about Jeff calling Sarah a babe. He gushes, "Jeff, you saved us all. You're a hero."
Jeff doesn't actually focus on Chuck's face, but frowns as he says, "But we never escaped from the jungle."
A/N: What can I say. Jeffrey Barnes. Hero of Buy More, Burbank.