When Donna stepped out into the corridor, she noticed that Blatt's door was still closed. That was no surprise, as Blatt's depression seemed to worsen with every week, but Donna still felt a twinge of something she didn't want to identify.
"She's getting worse," Grass said sadly, looking at the closed door.
All of the lifers were losing hope, and Blatt was by far the worst off. Grass herself acted normally, but Donna could tell that she didn't want to talk to her.
"Yeah," Donna said, exchanging her tray for a broom and cloth. Without saying another word, she went back into the cell to clean up. Her father would be visiting today, for the very last visit she would have with him. She had lain awake for half the night and still had no idea what to say.
The potato harvest was average. Not great, but good. Donna stood bare-footed in the mud as Theodosius emptied a bucket into the wheelbarrow. "Next time we do this, it'll be at the cottage," she said.
"I'm sure Andrea and Charlotte will be pleased." Two of his daughters had become the gardeners-in-chief there. "Or maybe they'll be annoyed about their old dad getting under their feet."
"You're not old," Donna said reflexively.
Theodosius shook his head. "I've got white chest hair. I think that's the end there."
"I'm sure Cynthia disagrees."
Laughing, Theodosius set down the bucket. "She'll think I'm the most beautiful man in the world even when I'm shriveled up like Best. Personally, I think she's a little bit biased."
"Hmm, I wonder why," Donna said teasingly. She picked up a bucket of the potato plants, as did Theodosius, and they headed towards the compost pile.
As they walked, Donna wondered who would plant potatoes in the spring, if not them. None of the others except Li were enthusiastic gardeners now. Maybe the administration would have Li plant more trees and bushes and turn the yard into some sort of park. But no matter how nice it would be, the guard towers would remain.
The closer the release date approached, the worse Donna and Theodosius felt. Theodosius complained of constant nightmares where he wasn't allowed to leave and was forced to remain in the Supermax, while Donna suffered from insomnia and a constant anxiety that couldn't be good for her heart.
"I can't do this anymore!" Donna complained to Dr. Chu six days before their release. "I'll have a heart attack at this rate."
"Are the medications not working?" the psychologist asked.
Donna shook her head. "My anxiety is getting worse and worse."
The psychologist wrote that down. "What worries you the most?" she asked.
Donna shrugged. "I've spent a quarter of a century in here. I don't know anything. My kids are strangers to me, and I'll have nothing to talk about with my husband."
It felt completely surreal to admit it. A huge chunk of her life, over. Wasted. As if she had spent the last twenty-six years in a coma, with nothing to show for it but white hair, high blood pressure, and knee problems.
"Do you remember what we discussed last time?" Donna nodded. "And?"
"It makes sense," she said. "We're practically strangers now, but we're still married, and I can't imagine us not being together. I'm definitely worried about us being unable to communicate." She kneaded the ball energetically. "What do we even have to communicate about? I don't even know the names of his friends or what he likes to do in the evenings!"
Dr. Chu smiled reassuringly. "You do know you could just ask him, right?"
"But we've been married for forty years! And now we have to re-establish everything from nothing?" She wanted for things to go back to normal. She wanted for her and Dem to fall back into the same easy routine as before. But she knew it was pointless. "I just want something in my life to be easy," she whispered, blinking back tears.
"Do you want to do it?"
"Of course."
Dr. Chu put down her pen and looked at her. "I won't lie to you, re-establishing a relationship is hard. You mentioned last week that your husband is also seeing a professional?" Donna nodded. "But you will both be on the same page, and I know you both love each other very much. I'm confident you'll be able to do it eventually."
"Thank you," Donna said quietly. "For everything. I hope your paper about us gets you some kind of award."
"It's my job," the psychologist said, adjusting her kerchief. Donna tried and failed to remember when her hair had shifted from black to grey to white.
"You wanted a nice, stable job?" she joked.
"None of us suspected the prison would remain open for so long," Dr. Chu said with a laugh.
Seized with a sudden fury, Donna crushed the ball in her hands. "Nobody did!" she almost shouted. "But I'm still here. What good did it serve anyone to have me rot in here?"
"Your sentence-"
"-was just. I know." Deflating, Donna sat back, absent-mindedly kneading the ball with her thumbs. "It's hard to accept, though. What a waste of a life." She rolled the ball between her hands. "I don't want to talk about that, though. Can I please share my plans already?" Dr. Chu had told her to only put plans to paper and not tell anyone else and especially family, as that would overwhelm them. Given how often Donna ended up changing her plans, that had been a wise decision on the psychologist's part in hindsight.
"Of course." Dr. Chu didn't bat an eye at the change in topic, clearly realizing that Donna needed a distraction.
"And can you stay with me for longer today?" she asked, feeling like a scared child.
"Of course."
Donna firmly told herself that there was nothing wrong with being anxious and reached for the sheet of paper that held her most recent itinerary for the first week back. "I wrote down a list of things I want to eat. There's just so much I keep on remembering. And they're organizing a family reunion for next month, too." She sighed, stretching the ball. "I can't imagine doing anything without Theodosius. Especially since we're in-laws. But we have our own separate families, after all." It was strange to imagine going entire days without him.
"Have you talked about it?"
"Many times. But when we do, I feel almost glad it's almost over, because I feel completely sick of seeing him every single day. Now, though, as I'm sitting here, I can't imagine not talking every day. He's the only person I can be fully honest with." Donna glanced up at the psychologist. "Well, you too, but you're my psychologist. He's my friend."
"You can always meet up," Dr. Chu pointed out, not catching the slip of the tongue. Donna was too wrung out mentally to watch her words.
Donna struggled to find words to explain it. "Yes, but it'll be different," she said. "I can't explain it, but it'll be different. Everything will be different. I don't know how to choose anything. I spent what must have been hours trying to decide what I'd like to eat for breakfast the morning after I get back!" The ball was fraying at the seam. Donna handed it over and was given a fresh one in exchange.
"Yes. It will be different. And the sudden ability to choose will be overwhelming. But that's why you have people you can rely on."
Donna sighed and crossed her legs. "I don't even know what I want," she admitted. "I'm so tired."
The last day began normally. Donna woke up, exercised, washed, and got dressed, putting on her clothing from before. No need to force them to wash more than they needed to. As she waited for breakfast, she paced back and forth, feeling full of nervous energy. The photographs on the wall beckoned her, and she wanted to take them down, but she held herself back. There would be time for that during the afternoon.
The newspapers had a few blacked-out articles, but none of them were on the front page. The Kessin case was also unmentioned that morning, which was good. After months and months of preparation, Jake Kessin's lawyer had finally managed to get his client to agree to a plea deal - the kidnapper had wanted to make himself heard in court. In the end, Kessin had agreed to plead guilty to most counts and have a few minor ones dismissed, and the sentencing would be in two weeks. Donna was generally too jittery to care about anything except herself, but she had picked up some things here and there.
Donna ate her breakfast, cleaned her cell, and went outside without talking to anybody. The cold air bit at her exposed skin as she ran. After the jog, it was time for crochet. The atmosphere was tense, and every second seemed to drag on. But all of a sudden, it was time for lunch. Donna could only blink in surprise and go back to her cell.
After lunch, the very last exercise period. Donna and Theodosius walked together, saying nothing. There was nothing to say. The others shot her odd glances that made her look down, unable to meet their eyes.
"I'm almost done," Theodosius suddenly said.
"Done with what?" In response, he took out a handful of pebbles from his pocket. "What do you mean?" Theodosius had been counting laps for as long as she could remember, but she didn't recall him having a specific goal.
"Don't you remember?" he said, coming to a stop and staring at the cloudy sky. "Counting laps? A walk around the world?"
Donna remembered. Years ago, he had happily chattered away about distant places. So long ago. "You kept it up? For all these years?"
"Yes." There were tears in his eyes. "A walk around the world. Do you see it?" he asked. "I'm heading down the road. I can see the prison ahead of me. I'm almost back."
"But why return?"
Theodosius shrugged. "I thought it would be nice to circumnavigate the globe. That means coming back." He furrowed his eyebrows. "You still don't see. Look up!" Donna looked up. "The forest. It's beautiful, even in winter. I see why you liked to jog here before.
The expression on his face was so sincere, that for a split second, Donna could almost see the forest. "It is beautiful, don't you think?"
"The trees. The shrubs. All sleeping, waiting for winter to end." He stepped closer to her and pointed at something in the distance. "It's strange, that it all looks so dead, but it's still alive. But then again, the only thing that differentiates a sleeping person from a dead one is breathing, and you can't see plants breathe." He shook his head. "Let's keep on walking."
They kept on walking, Donna wondering how Theodosius' walk could have slipped her mind. And what a thing to forget! She said nothing, though, only offering him a smile when he finally said "I'm back!" and looked around the yard as if seeing it for the first time.
"Alright, everyone!" the guard said. "We're done here for the day."
Donna's heart began to beat faster at hearing it. This was it. The last day was over. She put down her sweater with trembling hands, unable to fold it nicely. Both she and Theodosius had paced themselves to finish on that day.
"You know, Mrs. Blues," Li said, "I'll miss you." His eyes were full of sorrow. Over the past few months, he had been suffering from memory problems, and by now, it was impossible to brush them aside as the result of stress.
"And I'll miss you, Mr. Coll," Katz said.
Donna didn't even notice how they broke apart into two groups, the men surrounding Donna and the women-Theodosius. This was the last time they would ever see each other.
"I'm sorry," Hryb said, "but there's nothing for me to say." Wiping tears from his eyes, the younger man marched out of the gym.
The next up was Li. "Twenty-five years sitting next to each other," he said, "and now it's over. Speak up for us, would you?" His voice cracked. "I don't want to die here. I don't want to be here when I don't recognize myself in the mirror."
"I will," Donna said, feeling her throat close up.
"Yeah," Fourrer said. "Now, they'll try to forget about us."
"You should write a book about us," Stone added. "Didn't you say you wanted to write a book?" Donna nodded, unable to speak.
"I suppose this is the end," Koy said, and left.
"I can't." Salperin marched out of the gym, quickly followed by Gold.
Metteren and Netter just stared at her blankly in an accusing way before leaving. Donna realized that only her onetime codefendants were left.
"This really is unfair," Oldsmith said weakly. "I really did think they'd let us out, you know? And now I won't get to."
"I suppose I'll die in here, then," Best sighed. "No matter. I should have died long ago."
"I envy you," Verdant admitted.
Ledge crossed his arms on his chest and glared.
Unable to say anything, Donna watched as the people she had spent a quarter of a century with left the gym. Never again would she see them.
"Go on, then," a guard said kindly. She and Theodosius were the only ones left. The others were all gone. They met each other's eye and waved. As they exited the gym, they nodded at each other and went their separate ways. They, at least, would get to see each other again.
Back in her cell, Donna ate dinner, barely able to choke down the rice with chicken and vegetables. She drank the hot tea, acutely aware that she would never eat from these utensils again. In the corridor, the women were all leaning out of their cells. Smith, Xu, Zelenka, and Melton were all standing not too far away from her.
"I guess that's that, then," Donna said.
"I'm glad my husband divorced me," Smith said. "At least he won't have to deal with this." She marched back to her cell and slammed the door.
Blatt likewise shut her door, not saying a single word.
"I don't even care anymore," Xu said, leaning on her cane. "Who even cares? All this, for a handful of dying old people." She waved a hand at the corridor. "Enjoy freedom." The three former industrialists left.
Grass had tears in her eyes. "I do not understand, how was I somehow worse than you? This is all so ridiculously unfair."
Donna felt nothing. It was all too much. She felt as if she was floating somewhere to the side of her body, watching things happen but not feeling them. She turned towards Hope and Katz. Hope smiled wanly and shut her own door, but Katz stayed. "We never agreed," she said, "but we coexisted for twenty-five years. That's a lot."
"Yeah."
"Look, just enjoy your life, alright? Eat your husband's cookies. Fuck him until he passes out." Donna chuckled at that. Katz was still Katz. "What? Don't tell me you don't want to. Go jogging around these parts. Annoy your brother. Just...live, alright?" Katz wiped at her eyes. "At least someone will get to."
Was it cold in the corridor, or hot? Donna felt both. "I wish you were also getting out," she said.
"Me, too." With a final sad smile, Katz stepped back inside her cell and closed the door. Donna did likewise.
In her cell, she finally took down the family photographs and the silly picture, carefully studying each and every one. "So this is it," she said.
That it is, the lightbulb replied.
"You're not real." Donna put down the photographs on the table and took the box for dirty laundry from under her cot. Since laundry day had been yesterday, there was nothing in it. The soft cardboard was near collapse from a quarter of a century of use. Donna remembered how she had been given the box to use for her personal things when being transferred from Lodgepole. She had brought it into the Supermax as an anxious thirty-seven-year-old, and now she would be leaving with it as an equally anxious sixty-two-year-old.
Into the box went her photographs and the last letter from her family. The older ones, letters as well as photos, would be handed back as well. Since the orderly would be coming around, she quickly wrote her final diary entry and placed it in her bra. Donna looked around, wondering what else to take. The clothes, she didn't want, as they'd remind her of prison all over again. Dem had already gotten a toothbrush and the like for her. The books didn't belong to her, except for the two puzzle books, and she still needed them. Knowing that she wouldn't be able to read, Donna sat down at her table and methodically went through the book, solving and solving and solving.
Eventually, the orderly came around. Donna handed Tia the note and took the sedative, though she refused the offer of a sleeping pill.
"It's only to help you fall asleep," the orderly said. "It won't help you stay asleep. You'll probably wake up on your own."
Donna shook her head. "I don't want to be groggy."
"You'll still probably be groggy just from tiredness," Tia pointed out.
"Still."
They were quiet for a while. "Well, then," Tia said. "It has been an honour helping you."
"You saved my life," Donna whispered. "Had I been unable to write, I'd never have made it."
"I wasn't the only one."
"But you were the most consistent. I could count on you."
They were quiet again. "Goodbye," Tia said. "When you publish that book of yours, I'll buy a copy."
"Thank you."
Tia got up from the chair. "Goodbye again."
"Goodbye." Donna waved to Tia as she left her cell. Then, she took the sedative. It would wear off before midnight, but for now, it would stop her from feeling like her heart was going to burst. She was terrified and excited in equal measure, and breathing exercises and extra-hard sudokus didn't do that much to help.
Eventually, the light turned off, but there was still enough by which to read. Donna was too keyed up to feel tired. She made sloppy mistakes and had to give up on problems because it was covered with scratched-out numbers.
The door opened. "Female Nine?" It was one of the older guards, accompanied by a person Donna had never seen before, most likely someone from administration. "Here's your clothing."
It was time. Donna's heart began to beat even faster as she took deep breaths to try and calm herself down. Before Donna could take the clothing, she was searched for the last time. It felt strange to put on something new. A T-shirt, a sweater, a tracksuit, thick running shoes, and a knit hat. She looked like one of those hoodlums from the newspapers. "Is this really all there was?" she asked.
The guard shrugged. "We raided a charity bin. That's what they do for released inmates in the normal system."
How hard would it have been to get Dem to send in clothing? This must have been one final insult from the more hard-minded directors. They couldn't make her stay in the Supermax, but they could make her impossible to respect. Donna pulled on her shoes and paused. She had no idea how to tie shoelaces.
"Make two loops and knot them," the guard said, noticing her discomfort.
Make two loops and knot them. Donna's hands didn't listen to her, but eventually, she got it.
"Your papers." A large envelope was given to her, labelled 'F9 photos+letters', and a smaller one labelled 'F9 documents'. Donna carefully put it inside her box. "And this."
In the hand of the person from administration were two rings. Her marriage band and her iron ring. At least she was still an engineer in their eyes. Feeling tears prick at her eyes, Donna picked up the simple band and put it on the little finger of her right hand, feeling its rough surface with her left hand. The ring of smooth gold went on the fourth finger of her left hand. She had once saved up money to be able to afford the rings. They had sat in the shop and gotten their fingers measured, and then put them on each other in front of four friends and a bored clerk.
"Sign this." Donna signed without even looking. "And this. And this." How could there be so many forms? "Sign this as well, Female Nine." Donna signed in the cramped space. "And that will be all, Mrs. Blues."
Donna was taken aback at the sound of her name. "Uh-huh," she said weakly.
"Let's go."
"What?" Was it already time? Donna felt completely unprepared, but she couldn't disobey. She took off her glasses and put them in her pocket. As if in a trance, she picked up the box and followed the guard out into the corridor. She looked back at her cell, and felt nothing. It was over.
They walked down the corridor. The guard unlocked the cell block gate as the other guard stared at a chess board. She looked up and waved farewell as Donna was led out through the brightly-lit corridors. They reached an unfamiliar place where the chairing director, a woman from Four, was already waiting. Footsteps indicated the arrival of Theodosius, who was likewise clutching a box and was likewise dressed like a street tough.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey."
The director checked her watch. "Two minutes. You can go stand by the door."
Donna looked around the room and realized something. "We were here before," she said. "When we were brought in."
"Full circle." Theodosius' smile was tense and he looked about to throw up.
The four escorts left, leaving the two of them alone with the guard. "They should have let you out years ago," she said with a disapproving frown. "This is a disgrace."
Since Four generally voted for release, that was scant consolation. "Thank you," Donna said awkwardly.
The director checked her watch again. "It's time."
Donna didn't want to move, but her feet seemed to have a mind of their own. As the door opened, Donna walked out into the cold night air, where a large car was standing on a paved path running through an overgrown lot. With a start, Donna realized that on the other side of the wall to the left was the yard.
And standing there were their spouses and lawyers. Donna took a few steps forwards. Dem seemed to be frozen to the spot, but Dr. Fisher walked towards her. "Many years ago," he said in a firm voice, "I said I looked forward to shaking your hand. It is a shame that so many years had to pass, but may I?"
"My sentence was just," Donna replied, taking his hand. She hadn't shaken hands since the sentencing. "And it's I who should be offering to shake yours. I'm only here thanks to you."
The lawyer, a small old man by now, smiled. "I distinctly recall a certain client who had her own idea of what to do," he said, sounding completely unlike his drab persona of the trial. Maybe he truly had changed.
The long-retired Dr. Levy was likewise shaking hands with Theodosius. Donna looked over at Dem, who was still staring. She walked over to her husband, unsure of what to do. "Hey," she said.
"Hey." He reached out to her, and she put the box on top of the car and took his hand in hers. Neither of them were wearing gloves, and she felt his warmth. There he was. Right in front of her. "Your hands are freezing." He smiled bashfully, and then embraced her in a hug. Donna clutched at him, unable to hold back a smile. She didn't want to let go. It felt so good to finally hug someone. She put her head on his shoulder, and he - on hers. He was so warm, so solid, so real. Donna felt like she would explode from the intensity of her feelings.
"We should get going," Dr. Levy said. "The longer we wait, the bigger the crowd will get."
A part of Donna longed for crowds, but she did as told. She picked up her box and headed towards the car, as did Theodosius.
"Maybe you two should get in the back," Dr. Fisher said.
Donna realized that both of them had been going to sit down next to the driver. "Uh, sure," she said. There were two rows of seats in the back. "Do you want to sit in the middle or should I?"
"There's more leg room in the back!" Dr. Levy called out as she got behind the steering wheel. Donna got the hint and stepped aside to let Theodosius and Cynthia climb into the back. She and Dem got into the middle, and Dem shut the door. Donna felt like she was having an out-of-body experience all over again. She touched the fabric of the car seat, the metal tip of the seatbelt. She was actually there. It was all actually over.
Dr. Fisher climbed into the car and shut the door. "No change of plans," he said as the car began to move. "We stop at the bus stop, say a few words, and get you two home."
"Sure," Donna said, staring out the window. Theodosius said nothing.
They drove down the path through several open gates. At the last one, a cordon of police stood to prevent the small clusters of protesters and counter-protesters from attacking each other or getting run over by the car. A few photographers were also there, but most had probably gotten the hint and were at the bus stop.
Dem let out a sigh and leaned back against the seat. "Guess that's done," he said. Donna was acutely aware of how their feet were touching. She wasn't sure if she should move away or if he would be upset by that, so she did nothing.
"I can't believe it," Cynthia sighed from the back. Donna craned her head back to see her better, as they had seldom met before. Cynthia was taller than her but shorter than Theodosius, with medium-brown skin and slightly wavy white hair cut short in an elegant way. She was holding Theodosius' hands with her own. Donna wanted to do likewise, but she felt strange. Wondering why she was so reticent about holding hands with her own husband, she forced herself to reach out and take him by the hand. He looked up and smiled softly.
They rode on in silence until they reached the bus stop. Donna stared at the gathered crowd, overwhelmed by the sight. So many people.
"Donna?"
It took Donna a few seconds to remember that that was her name.
"Yeah?"
"We're here."
Donna realized they had stopped. She unbuckled her belt after some brief confusion and opened the door. Immediately, cameras were being shoved in the face of her and Theodosius, but she unexpectedly found herself smiling. She was out. She was here, in this crowd of people, and not in her cell. Just twenty-four hours ago, she had been asleep behind bars, and now she was standing on the damp pavement of a bus stop, wind stinging her face. She waved at them, feeling a sort of happiness bubble up inside her.
"Is there anything you want to say?"
Next to her, Theodosius seemed to be paralyzed. He looked like he wanted to crawl back inside the car. "Well," Donna said with a laugh, "I'm very happy to be back."
Most of the gathered crowd laughed obligingly. "What are you going to do now?" someone shouted.
The night was dark, but the lights illuminated the lot in an artificial light that was at once similar to and unlike the lights that had illuminated her cell. "Go home and sleep."
Dr. Levy lowered her window and leaned out. "One or two questions, and we need to go."
"Could you give us a comment on your imprisonment?"
"There isn't much to say," Donna said, Theodosius still staring blankly at everything. She couldn't stop smiling as she looked at the curious crowd, the press representatives trying to get closer to her. It was overwhelming, but even that just reminded her that she was free. "It's over now."
"What about the others?"
"I would prefer not to comment on that now." Donna was acutely aware that her wide smile looked very odd.
"We have to go now," Dr. Levy whispered.
With a final wave, Donna got back into the car and fumbled with the seatbelt, as her hands were shaking too much from excitement. Theodosius looked completely out of it.
"You handled that well," Dr. Fisher said as they sped off.
Donna shrugged. "I'm used to sitting tight. That built self-control." Her lawyer nodded, not showing any signs of recognizing the phrase. Donna sighed and leaned against the window, feeling exhausted. Had she really just spoken to complete strangers and answered their questions on the fly?
They drove for hours, landscape changing from forest to town and back to forest. Nobody said a word. As they pulled into the Capitol proper, Donna tried to orient herself, but they were going through completely unfamiliar neighbourhoods. She recognized some of the street names, however, which made her feel strange. She was truly back. She was in the city now.
As the number on the GPS shrunk to single digits, they drove past a large factory and past clean-looking panel houses. Her new neighbourhood. She didn't have the energy to be upset about living in such a place.
"I'll drop off Mrs. and Mr. Blues first, alright?" Dr. Levy asked. "They're closer."
Nobody had anything against that, and they were soon pulling into a courtyard formed by four large buildings. Donna could see trees and a playground. Nobody was outside, as it was four in the morning. The car stopped, and Donna and Dem got out, Donna holding her box.
"I'll see you later," she told Theodosius, who just nodded blankly and clutched at Cynthia's hand. The car sped off, leaving Donna and her husband alone by a door.
"Uh, I got you a set of keys," he said, handing them to her. A small fob hung next to three keys. "The biggest one is for the apartment, the smaller one - for the cottage,and the tiny one - for the mailbox. You want to do the honours?"
There was an awkwardness in his voice Donna didn't like, but she was too tired to bring it up. She pressed the fob where an arrow labelled 'press here' pointed, and heard the sound of the door unlocking. She pulled it open to reveal a clean entrance. Rows of mailboxes were on the opposite wall.
"We're one-three-five-six," Dem said. "There's no entrance to the other sections of the building from here, so make sure to use the right door." He chuckled. "Let's go?"
There were two elevators, one labelled '7' and one - '8'. Dem walked over to the elevator labelled '8' and pressed the button. The small display at the top indicated that it was already on the first floor, and indeed, it opened immediately. Donna looked at the columns of buttons, noticing that there was a 'cancel' button. "We didn't have that when we lived in the apartment," she said, pointing to it.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, that." He pressed the button for the thirteenth floor. "Convenient when some kid presses every single one for a lark."
The elevator moved quickly, and Donna almost fell over, unaccustomed to the strange motion. When it stopped and the doors opened, she stepped out gratefully onto a small landing. There were only eight apartments there, and one elevator. Yet another subdivision. "How many floors are there?" she asked.
"Fifteen." Dem opened the door labelled '1356'. "We're home." He stepped inside and turned on the light.
Donna stepped inside and was struck by how nice it was. Dem's jackets hung on a hook above a rubber rug for shoes. The wallpaper was obviously cheap but in good repair, and the lights were working. Donna put the box on a small set of drawers and took off her shoes and jacket, looking around. "Where's the bathroom?" she asked.
The bathroom also turned out to be very nice, though Donna had never expected to live in a place where laundry was dried on the hot-water pipe and a line strung above the bathtub. After her cell, this was paradise. Donna realized that for the first time in decades, she had total privacy. Nobody would be able to see her feet while she was sitting on the toilet. It was a strange feeling.
As Donna washed her hands, she noticed that there were two toothbrushes on the little shelf above the sink and below the mirror, as well as a comb of the sort that Dem with his coily hair would have never used of his own volition. There were also more towels than one person needed. Her husband had really gone all-out.
On the floor and in the bathtub were rubber rugs. That would be convenient. There was also an opaque curtain in bright colours that reminded Donna of Dr. Chu's kerchiefs. She tried not to think about her old psychologist. Dr. Chu would be on the train to Eleven at the moment, getting ready for a well-deserved vacation. Donna would meet with another therapist now.
Donna forced herself to stop thinking about that. She unlocked the door after a few attempts and stepped out, where Dem was already waiting for her, holding the box. "That's the kitchen," he said, pointing to the left. Donna peeked inside the kitchen. It was tiny, with a stove, small table and two stools, cabinets, washing machine, and ancient radio on the windowsill. "And that's the living room." He pointed straight ahead, through another door.
The living room wasn't very spacious, but it was nice. There were photographs of their children and grandchildren everywhere, and a cabinet held porcelain dishes that most likely had never left that cabinet. Donna wondered where he had gotten them from, as all of the porcelain from their old house now resided in the Districts. There was a couch, an armchair, cupboards, and a large table, as well as a small table with a laptop on it. "It's really nice," she said, struck by how empty it was. All this time, she had been imagining home as what it had been just before her arrest, but the children were grown now. The two of them would have the apartment to themselves for the first time since before their eldest was born.
"Thanks." He led her across the room towards two closed doors. "That's the storage room," he said, pointing straight ahead. "To the left is our bedroom."
Donna saw something move out of the corner of her eye. A dog crawled from beyond the far sight of the couch. It was large and timid, and did not approach them. "Is that the dog you mentioned?" Donna asked with a smile.
"Yep. That's Dusty. She's very shy."
Dusty looked like the guard dogs Donna had seen during the trial, but instead of perpetually growling, she stayed silent and unmoving. "Is she alright?" Donna stretched out her hand, and Dusty quietly approached her. She had short fur and round dark eyes. "Aww, what a doggy," Donna said, scratching Dusty under the chin. "Good doggy."
"The goodest. I got her from a shelter, and her old owner beat her. She's still scared of everyone, but at least she's not aggressive." He shrugged and opened the door to their bedroom. "Now, this is our room."
The bedroom was also very small. A set of bookshelves was on the left, and a closet stood to the right of the door against the wall. Against the right wall was a bed. "There's only one bed," Donna noticed. Dusty decided she had had enough of this stranger and slunk back to behind the couch.
Dem looked at Donna in a concerned way. "Do you want to sleep together?" He put the box under the bedside table.
"In what way?" Donna asked, confused. "I just want to sleep."
"No, no, I mean in the same bed."
"We've been married for forty years," Donna pointed out. "Why shouldn't we sleep in the same bed?" The fact that they were worried about it all was completely idiotic, but she still felt strange about the prospect of sleeping next to someone after twenty-six years of being alone.
"Um, alright." Dem still looked awkward. "I'll go to the bathroom now."
He left, and Donna went about undressing. The closet turned out to be half-empty, with one side full of clothing, and the other - bare shelves and hangers. Donna hung up the sweater and put her glasses next to Dem's on the bedside table. The socks, she put in a container at the foot of the bed. The tracksuit bottoms were folded and put on a shelf, as was the T-shirt and the bra. After some consideration, Donna put the T-shirt back on, even though she knew it was crazy. She climbed under the covers, feeling the softness and warmth of the blankets.
Dem returned and likewise undressed until he was standing there in his underwear. Donna caught herself staring. Then, she wondered why she felt so strange about it. Dem turned off the light, plunging the room into almost total darkness, only a little bit seeping through the curtains. It was a strange sensation, to be in the dark.
Suddenly, she was very warm. Dem was climbing under the covers with her. "Is this alright?" he asked.
"Why wouldn't it be?" Donna tried to adjust herself so that they weren't pressing against each other. She was lying between her husband and a small bit of empty space that provided a way for her to get out without having to climb over him. "Uh, goodnight."
"Goodnight."
It was strangely hard to fall asleep lying next to her husband. The sound of his breathing was distracting, and she could smell the toothpaste he had just used. The warmth, too, would take getting used to. Eventually, though, she fell asleep.
A/N: And so, Donna and Theodosius are free. Thoughts on the reunion?
That feeling when there's only one bed, but you've been married for forty years so it's a non-issue - or at least you thought it was but now it isn't.
The entire thing with Theodosius' walk around the world that I do not blame you for long forgetting about is completely and shamelessly based on a real-life thing. Theodosius, when asked about it, will joke about non-great minds thinking alike. If you want to see someone get lost in their imagination like Theodosius did here done in a way better and very touching way, I suggest you watch the miniseries 'Speer and Hitler' (it's on youtube), specifically - episode 3.
My grandparents' building has a 'cancel' button in their elevator. I am very jealous.
Four chapters left!