It's been a year and twenty-two days since he left.
A year and twenty-two days have gone by, and not one of those days I don't think about him. I know he thinks that by leaving he's helping all the rest of us forget about him and live our lives freely, but this was the biggest mistake he's ever made. No one smiles, laughs, or gives even the slightest hint of a good mood.
Ron can never stay in a conversation for more than five minutes before his eyes glazed over from thinking about Harry. As for me, I'm not the same person. I probably never will be. When he left, it cost me my heart, mind, and soul. It's gone now because he took it with him.
I remember the day he disappeared. It plays vividly in my head like a non-stop tape, stinging me over, and over again. I don't sleep or eat as much as I once did. I don't have the strength to. Whenever I close my eyes, I see him, hear his voice, and then I remember the day it all went away.
"What do you mean he's gone?" Hermione screamed at Lupin. "You are his one and only protection and you've LOST him?!"
"Hermione, there was nothing we could do to stop him," Lupin said solemnly while massaging his temples with one hand. "He has made this decision on his own. Let him live it. He can, and will do this. You know that."
"Why wouldn't he say goodbye to Hermione and me? Why wouldn't he have said something?" Ron screamed. "He said he was going to take us with him. I never even heard him leave. It's all my fault." Ron looked around helplessly at the people before him. Without another word he walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. A stack of books were sitting on the table and with one swift move he knocked all but one to the ground. With the remaining book he picked it up and threw it across the room. After hearing a satisfied thump on the wall, he folded his arms on the table and buried his head in his hands as he began to shake softly with muffled sounds of short breaths. Hermione stood in shock, scared for Ron and Harry. Ron was going to be on the brink of loosing himself and Harry was nowhere to be found.
"He said it was for the best," Lupin began quietly, still in some shock at Ron's outburst, placing his hand on top of Hermione's. "However, I think he would want you to know, that he cared for you both more than anyone else. He truly wanted you two to have the best."
"You're lying," Hermione said softly, tears brimming the edges of her eyes. Her head was hung towards the floor as she fidgeted her feet around.
"I beg your pardon?" Lupin asked.
"I said," she said firmly, looking up at Lupin directly in the eye, "You're lying."
"Now, now Hermione its--"
"He's not gone," she interrupted with a shaky voice. "He's not gone! He is not GONE!"
"Hermione, I think its time that you went off to bed. Molly, a little help please."
Mrs. Weasley stood up from her spot on the couch with a tear stricken face. She had been watching quietly the whole time. Each word Hermione had said had hit her hard . She took Hermione and gently guided her out of the room, but Hermione struggled to break free.
"Oh, dearie. We'll talk about this in the morni--"
"No! He's not gone. He's got to come back! He's got to." she finished slowly dropping to her knees and sobbing. "He's got to," she repeated softly over and over again. "He was supposed to take us! We were there for him and he didn't take us. We were supposed to go with him!"
Ron still remained deadly quiet as Hermione raised her tearful head and looked to him for support. He did not blink once, and had an expression of pure sadness etched into his features. His eyes, however, were not there. They were glazed over and it was apparent that he wasn't listening to any of this. He was worried about his friend.
Hermione walked up the stairs with assistance from Mrs. Weasley and extended a shaky hand out to turn the doorknob. She had the slightest feeling of hope that, by some miracle, Harry would be waiting for her, to tell her that they were lying. That he wasn't going anywhere, and he would never leave. But as the door opened, it revealed a room as empty as her heart.
It was a small room with a twin bed in the corner and a nightstand to match. It had one window with red tattered curtains, and a dusty maroon rug. Mrs. Weasley had set out some pajamas on her bed for her to change into.
"Alright dear," Mrs. Weasley said. "Let me grab you a glass of water. I'll be right back."
Hermione nodded and watched as Mrs. Weasley exited the room, closing the door behind her. She picked up the clothes that she was supposed to wear and quickly slipped them on. They weren't too big, or two small so Hermione knew that Mrs. Weasley had gotten them from her own wardrobe. 'How nice,' she thought.
When Mrs. Weasley retuned, she was holding a small glass of water and a tray of golden brown, freshly baked cookies. She set both of the objects onto the nightstand and looked at Hermione with a loving smile.
"It will all be okay dear," she said softly, reaching out to gently hold one of Hermione's shoulders. "You'll see. Now let's get you into bed."
She released her shoulder and pulled back the covers of the small twin bed as Hermione climbed in. When she was settled in, Mrs. Weasley pulled the covers up to her chin and kissed her on the forehead. She turned to head for the door when Hermione stopped her.
"Wait!" she cried. Mrs. Weasley turned around slowly and looked at Hermione.
"Yes, dear?" she asked.
"Why is everyone so calm? Why aren't they worried that Harry will get hurt or caught? Doesn't anyone care?" Hermione demanded.
"Oh, child, it may seem that way, but we care about Harry greatly," she began, seating herself on the edge of the bed. "Don't you think for a second that any of us are not worried about him. He is like our son, our family, and families need to look out for each other. But you have to realize, that sometimes families need to let go, to let the child decide what's best for itself. Harry is a smart boy, and you know it. We all have faith and trust in him, and you should too. Just because we can't see him, doesn't mean he is in trouble. It's sort of like when you're child goes off to Hogwarts. Us parents don't see you for months at a time and we worry like mad, but you are experiencing things for yourself, on your own. Then, every summer, you return home, safe and sound with new memories in your minds and great friendships to have throughout your life. Don't you see?"
"Yes, I see," Hermione said quietly, hanging her head. "But Mrs. Weasley, at Hogwarts, we were safe, guarded by teachers and spells. Harry isn't at Hogwarts; he's all alone where anyone can find him. It's not the same thing."
"I suppose you're right. But remember, you always return home safe and sound, and so will Harry." she finished quietly. She used her hands for support as she lifted herself off the bed. "Now dear, I'll see you in the morning."
She walked towards the door and closed it gently. 'Oh Harry,' Hermione thought 'Please be safe.' She let the silence seep in for around an hour and just when she was about to doze off she heard another set of footsteps coming her way. She quickly scanned the dark room for the one beam of light coming from beneath the door and watched as it grew dark. The knob slowly started to turn and opened the door. Ron peered out from behind it and looked in on Hermione.
"Hermione? Are you awake?" he whispered.
"Yes, Ron, come in." she whispered back sitting up in her bed.
Ron slowly stepped in and shut the door as quietly as he could before sitting on the edge of the bed in the spot where Mrs. Weasley had once been.
"Hermione, I have a plan." He said.
"What plan, Ron?" she asked.
"We're going to find Harry." He stated simply.
"We're going to what? Ron we can't, we don't know where he is. We couldn't do this to the order, to your family. Not us gone too." Hermione said gloomily, but it appeared Ron had already had his mind set pulling out two broomsticks from behind his back.
Hermione then, got out of bed and dressed and was just mounting her broom when they heard someone else coming by. The door opened to reveal Ginny with her broom in her hand also.
"Shouldn't you guys be a little quieter? You nearly woke up mom!" she told them as she climbed through the open window.
"Oh yeah," Ron added, "Ginny's coming too."
"Hey Hermione, ready to find Harry?" she asked with a small smile on her face. Hermione smiled lightly and kicked off of the roof soaring through the air. The three glided over the glowing lights of the cities until they finally came to a stop.
"Did it ever occur to you both that he might have also taken a broom? It's Harry for heavens sake!" Ginny yelled. "He must have thought of a million ways to get away quickly and for all we know, he could have done it."
Hermione lowered her head and thought for just a moment that she saw Harry out of the corner of her eye.
"Ron, did you see that?" she asked instinctively.
"Right ahead of you Hermione," He replied.
Ron grabbed his broom and headed in the direction they saw it.
"Where is he?" Hermione cried desperately, looking around. Normally, she would have kept herself under control, and handled this maturely. But now all she could think about was Harry. She hated to think of him gone, under Voldemort's wrath, with out anyone to help. "Ron, we have to find him now!"
"I can't see him anywhere!" he shouted back, already separated from Hermione . "He vanished!"
Frantically, they looked up and down searching everywhere they could for five straight months. Watching, waiting for any sign that he was still out there but there was no trace that he even existed. They wouldn't give up though. They would never give up.
I barley talk to anyone anymore. I isolate myself to certain parts of the room when others are near and I can never look any of those people in the eye.
They remind me of him. In fact, everything and everyone reminds me of him. I'm not sure if he's safe, or even alive, but I hope and pray that I will get to see him one last time. His friends are aching from the pain that has been caused, and were all still searching for the heart of the matter.