Visions Interrupted: Chapter 18 - What the Future Holds

After the non-battle, most of the vampires dissipated quickly, leaving the house oddly quiet once more. Not the same quiet as when I thought they were all dead; there was murmuring and shuffling this time. Even though I knew I was surrounded by my family—could see them right in front of me—the fear and hopelessness I felt here two hours ago lingered. It was a comfort to know that upon meeting so many vampires, I could now see any one of their futures if I tried, and anything monumental would definitely come through, seeing as it would have nothing to do with Nessie.

Renesmee was a compelling thing. I noticed that every last one of the vampire guests said goodbye to her. Nessie made them all adore her and want to protect her. It was obvious Huilen felt similarly about Nahuel despite her resentment over her sister's death. It was the way of the dhampir, their natural pull, I supposed. Knowing Nahuel made it easier to relax around the girl. Her fast aging was still creepy and disconcerting, but soon she would be an eternal young adult, just like the rest of us. I didn't feel as uncomfortable around her anymore. But I would never see right again, and that was upsetting. My gift was what made me important. My family depended on my visions for everything—from what to wear to whether it would be sunny that day to incoming threats to when our stocks would rise. All of that was needed, and I couldn't provide that anymore. I felt lost, a tiny vampire with no purpose or value to anyone. Except Jasper. He wanted me no matter what. At least I could count on that.

Jasper was saying his thank yous and goodbyes to Peter and Charlotte for the both of us. They'd understand. It was simply too hard for me to say goodbye to Kachiri. I felt bonded to her in a way. After all, we had been together constantly for a week during a high stress time. She'd witnessed me slap Jasper. Kachiri was the only other person who knew. I bet that really killed him, knowing she was aware of how deplorable I thought his actions were. Zafrina and Senna came over to say goodbye, and it was such a weird feeling to see them. I'd just met them seven days ago for only a few hours. And yet, I felt bonded to them too, like I'd known them before. They'd never met me, yet they took my word and went to help my family. They'd separated themselves from their maker and lover to face death for a family they only met once. If that didn't make these women part of our family, I didn't know what would. I hugged Kachiri tightly, and we vowed to visit a lot. It would be wonderful to return to the amazing Amazon rainforest when we weren't in such a rush.

Huilen and Nahuel were going to stay a while longer. They wanted to spend a little more time with Renesmee, seeing as there were so few hybrids and they were all Nahuel's relatives. When they were ready to return home, Emmett would fly them back in Carlisle's private jet, in style and comfort this time. Nahuel's interest in Nessie was squicking me out though. It was like he was viewing her as a potential mate. And after 150 years with only his aunt for company … well, I could kind of see where he was coming from, but it was still gross. What, now Renesmee would have two Golden Retrievers ready to grant her every whim? Who was I kidding? It wasn't just Jacob and Nahuel. My whole family did that too. Like I said, the way of the dhampir.

Our Denali cousins stayed longer than the rest. Tanya and Kate were particularly heartbroken, though Carmen and Eleazar were upset too. The three Slovakian women had been a unit for so long, it seemed a daunting task for them to live on without Irina. Jasper made an effort to alleviate their grief, which seemed to work marginally. Apparently, Kate had found some solace with her new Revolutionary companion Garrett. I was happy for her, but now Tanya would be the fifth wheel of their coven. It reminded me of Edward's situation within our family, but I didn't think she'd be too lonely. Tanya had no qualms about finding temporary lovers; I even saw her eyeing Nahuel on their way out.

Now that nearly everyone had left, I tried to see how my family would react to my disappearing act now that the excitement had died down. It was hazy (thanks, Nessie) but it seemed like all interaction was positive, although Bella looked a bit disturbed. My heart sank. She was the one I had done it all for, and she was the one who'd reject me for it.

I went to my closest friend first. Edward heard my intentions and I saw his responses. Still, I wanted to say it out loud to him. "Edward, I'm sorry," I said at the same time as he said, "Alice, I'm sorry." We laughed and said, "Thank you," simultaneously again. My giggles intensified—why hadn't I seen this? I was glad I didn't though; it meant it was authentically in the moment. We were both truly sorry and thankful and willing to admit it without having to decide to do so. I wasn't sure what he was sorry for though.

"For ever doubting you," he explained. "Get over here, freak." He smiled affectionately, opening his arms, and I happily slid into his embrace.

Emmett had missed me. He picked me up and swung me around, saying how weird it was when Jasper and I were gone. He couldn't wait to wrestle Jasper and bet against me because he'd "win this time for sure with Nessie and Jake around."

"Don't get too cocky, Emmett," I warned. "I can still see if Jake and Nessie aren't involved."

"Well, I'll just be sure to involve them!" he'd retorted. "Jake is here all the time now anyway."

Rosalie came over and swatted his arm. "Leave the poor pixie alone, you big lug. She's had quite a harrowing experience. We all have."

"But now we can finally relax. Everything is going to be okay," Esme said confidently.

Then Renesmee danced over to me and chirped in her singsong voice, "I missed you, Auntie Alice. No one gave me any pretty dresses when you were gone."

My jaw dropped in horror. Not even Rosalie thought to dress her well? I turned to my sister. "This is a travesty!" I hissed.

Rosalie huffed and shook her head. "Yeah, I missed you too," she snarked.

I barely heard her, steamrolling over her with my next sentence. "What have you been making her wear?" I gestured to the too short jeans and too large sweatshirt the girl was wearing. "This? This is what she wore to the confrontation?"

Rosalie scoffed. "Excuse me if we had some more pressing issues to think about!"

Bella chimed in, "What she was wearing didn't seem important."

Of all the backward things to say … I felt like steam should be shooting out of my ears. I guess it was noticeable because Esme rushed to say, "Girls, girls, let's take it down a notch."

I took a steadying breath and bent down to Nessie's eye level. "Tomorrow. You. Me. The mall."

"It's a date!" she chirped adorably before skipping away.

Well, damned if this little girl was kind of a mini-me. Was that the subversiveness of a dhampir—able to mold itself into being whatever would please you most? I decided I didn't care. Renesmee was in my life, for better or worse, and I was going to have to live with it if I wanted to stay here. And if Renesmee enjoyed being dressed by me, she couldn't be all that bad. I would let go of my misgivings about her. She wasn't evil, just unique. Rare. She was a strange little pixie, like me. Renesmee was just a girl trapped in circumstances out of her control. She had to live with being a freak, same as I did. Same as her father did.

I caught Jasper rolling his eyes at the emotions surrounding my epiphany. He didn't know why, but he knew I'd given in to her charms now. I met his eyes and shrugged. Whatever. Let him continue to think negatively. I was tired of that. It wasn't me. Alice Cullen was a sunny personality, and I liked it that way.

Rosalie made a face at me and said, "Oh, all of a sudden you're Team Renesmee? Last I knew you wanted nothing to do with her."

Crap, I had no idea that was coming since it involved Nessie, and so I was unprepared for a comeback. "That's not true!" I protested. "We did the albums!" Neither Rosalie nor Bella were impressed with that, and I really had no other examples. "You're right. I'm sorry. But I've changed. I know it's only been a few weeks, but I realize what I was missing all along—her unique specialness." Luckily, they bought it hook, line, and sinker.

The conversation moved on to Bella praising the clues I'd left for her silent mind. "I can't believe you came up with those clues so fast," Bella gushed. "It was all so intricate! Like, how do you even come up with that plan so fast."

"Don't worry, Bella, you can come up with a slick plan quick with your expanded vampire brain now. We all can plot and plan well. The hard part was keeping it from Edward. Nearly impossible. I had to leave."

"Oh, Alice," Bella pulled me in for a hug, using a bit too much of her newborn strength. It was one of those long hugs, and while I held her embrace, I thought about the real reason I had to leave—the Volturi wanted me for their guard, and they knew they'd never get me unless my family was all dead.

I locked eyes with Edward over Bella's shoulder as we continued hugging. Of course, he'd heard. He looked a little spooked, staring at me with wide eyes. I know. I'll tell them. But let's just try to be happy for a while. They won't try anything soon. Edward's face relaxed a little, and he nodded, but he was still worried. He'd be scanning the area for suspicious thoughts a lot more frequently, I was sure.

The final person I needed to talk to was Carlisle. Before Siobhan left, she warned Carlisle that it wasn't over with the Volturi, that they would likely find another way to come at us. How very right she was, and Carlisle realized that. He told her he had confidence in my visions, that I would know when they'd strike next. Though I would be vigilant, I wasn't quite so confident of that.

I approached him by the window, staring out in the direction of the field. "Hi," I said in a small voice. Carlisle looked at me and smiled warmly. It made me feel even guiltier about what I'd done to all of them. "I'm so sorry I left the way I did, Carlisle. Can you ever forgive me? I'd understand if you didn't. But can you?"

He chuckled at my earnest rambling. "Oh, Alice, I've long since forgiven you. You did what you had to. Of course it was painful, not knowing why. But despite not knowing the specifics, and even though I couldn't understand why, I knew you would never leave us without good reason. I had faith in you and your purpose."

Warm fuzzies fluttered through me. Carlisle always knew the right things to say. I hated to turn the conversation to a sour note, but I felt I had to address his confidence in my entirely fallible gift.

"I heard what you said to Siobhan. About how I would see when the Volturi decided to come for us again?" Carlisle nodded and waited for me to continue. "Well, I can't promise I'll see. I've been missing so much. I'm not of any use to you anymore." I hung my head, ashamed of my failings.

Carlisle tsked and raised my face with a finger under my chin until he could see my eyes. "Alice my dear. I have never placed your value on your gift. It's been helpful, sure, but you are my daughter. I love the brightness and life you bring to this family, which we were lacking before you came along. I am eternally grateful that your gift brought you to me, but we don't need it. What we do need is you. You were very sorely missed these last two weeks."

I was too overwhelmed with emotion for words, so I threw my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly, a hug he returned with equal force.

Carlisle might not have minded that my gift was faulty, but I did. I would have to retrain my brain to see around the blank spots Nessie and Jacob created. Our very lives may depend on me again sometime down the line. What excuse would the Volturi find next time to eradicate my family and take me away? Or would they find a way around my visions and abduct me instead? Either way, I'd be looking over my shoulder until they were all dead. Only then would I be safe.

Finally, everyone who was remaining at the house was gathered in the living room, and Edward regaled us with the full story of the confrontation as only he could know it, with me tucked under his arm, filling in the blanks of what Jasper and I did in South America. Edward heaped praise on his new wife for protecting them all, and of course, she was terribly embarrassed—that disturbed look was all over her face. I breathed a sigh of relief that her upset from my vision wasn't my doing.

I don't know why she was so embarrassed though! I was mystified by the power of her shield and that she could project it outward to protect others. Bella was special, just like I always thought. I had missed so much while I was gone. Bella was the perfect balance to the gifts in our family. It made me feel vindicated in the friendship I had always seen and Edward had fought so hard against in the beginning.

When all was said and done and couples started to break off, it was time to deal with Jasper. I'd seen a vision of him on his knees, begging my forgiveness earlier in the evening. I'd already seen him do this, but I was still going to make him go through with it, not letting him off easy like I sometimes did when I foresaw the resolution to our arguments.

When I entered the bedroom, he did exactly as I'd seen. His golden eyes were baleful as they looked up at me from his place on the floor, contrition coming off of him in waves.

His explanation was that he wasn't in his right mind. He was just as terrified about our family's fate as I was, but he hid it from me so he wouldn't compound my fear. He truly believed human blood might sharpen my gift and help us. But now that we were on the other side of the situation, he saw how crazy that was.

Did I believe him? Yes and no. I believed he was sorry, but I also believed he was perfectly sane and perhaps testing me to see how he might bend me to his will if we were alone together again. But we weren't alone, our family had survived, and we were back to the old status quo. Surrounded by Cullens, Jasper was tamer than when he was allowed to be free. I decided I would forgive him in the name of good intentions for trying to sway my dietary choice and make me go against what I needed to do to remain a Cullen. I could forgive him that, but I wouldn't forget, and I'd be watching Jasper now … wary. Waiting for the next time.

I felt my heart swell, and my trepidation was replaced with feelings of love and dedication. I knew Jasper was stirring up those feelings purposefully, though he thought he was being slick, but found myself not really caring. Wasn't it easier this way? To just go with it? Why rock the boat? True, he tried to compel me over to the dark side for a minute there, but he soon found out that my will is stronger than that. I saw through his charade. Jasper realizing that was enough for me to believe he wouldn't try something like that again.

For all his faults, I had in Jasper a partner who loved and protected me and was great between the sheets. I'd been welcomed back by the Cullens with open arms without any anger or resentment. My gift would never function properly again, but they didn't care; they still wanted me around. Jasper leaned in for a kiss, and I accepted it, winding my arms around his neck and deepening it, surrendering to the way things had been before this whole mess. The status quo was comfortable, easy, mostly safe, and non-scary. I was loved and appreciated. How could anyone ask for anything more?

I, Alice Cullen, had awoken to this life alone. My visions gave me purpose and guidance, but I never felt truly complete until Jasper and I joined this family. I learned I had value that extends beyond my gift. I had a family who loved me unconditionally. And it was me who ensured their survival.

End note:

I owe a massive debt of thanks to palmofafreezinghand. She told it like it was, didn't sugarcoat, brainstormed with me, encouraged me when I was feeling down about the fic. I am so appreciative of her support and friendship.

Shout-out from the mountaintop to Alice's White Rabbit, who always proofread (and caught a big slip-up!) so fast, which was great because I was always way too excited to just post the latest chapter. Thank you so much for taking this ride with me.

This fic was fun to write, but at the same time, it almost broke me. I felt like no one was reading or liking it on many occasions, and I nearly gave up several times. But there were two reviewers who commented on every chapter and were invested in the outcome, and they were the ones I continued to write for. So thank you to Jessica314 and kiwihipp for keeping me motivated! Your reviews meant so much to me.

The foray into canon was fun, and this was a canon gap I've wanted to fill for many years. But now I return to my AU M/M world. My next fic has already begun: the fourth and final part to The Consequence of Heat series, Full Circle: Back to the Beginning.

Until next time, stay safe, be well, and thank you for reading.