Edit: Was previously a one-shot but is now a multiple chapter story. The first few chapters are a bumpy ride. Buckle up and pay attention to the road!
don't leave me here
The leaves had started to change color and fall from grace while the air was crisp and cool, warning of the upcoming desolation of winter. Just like his life. Nothing but utter desolation.
He'd dismissed his security for the remainder of the evening as he drove to his family house in Westchester. It was time to deal with the fallout that was waiting for his arrival.
His family.
His family, his safety net... or so he thought. They'd found out about his secret life. It all came to light; the submissives, the inappropriate relationship with an older and married woman who happened to be a close friend to his mother and most of all, the realization that their son and brother was someone that they never knew at all. It was a harsh light that had been cast on him now and it was a painful exorcism that would not end.
In a way, it was their own guilt that was choking them for they too had failed. That truth coupled with the bombardment of what they found out was just too much to handle. Shock and regret. It was too much to make sense of. Where would they even begin?
It all came crashing down when his mother decided to surprise him. He had dismissed the staff and lied to the family that he was busy. It was a holiday weekend and he had been working very hard on a deal that would've increased his net worth significantly, except at the last minute it all fell apart. Just like that, six months of hard work went down the drain with no way to recover it.
Christian was livid.
He needed a release and he was desperate.
That's where his new submissive Leila would come in.
He told his family he wouldn't be available due to work and that was unacceptable to his mother. He'll work himself into an early grave if I don't do something. She had barely seen her son in these six months so she decided to head to his apartment to surprise him and coax him out of his ivory tower.
The elevator pinged and much to Grace's surprise, she wasn't greeted by Taylor or another CPO. The apartment was eerily quiet. She figured he'd be holed away in his study so she headed towards the corridor that led from the great room into that direction. That too was empty. All his cars were in the garage so she knew he was home. She walked back out and heard a sound of someone walking from the upstairs level. It was the sound of heels.
Once Grace reached the top of the staircase, she walked down the rows of rooms but not before passing one that looked like someone lived in it. She saw a weekender bag, some trinkets of jewelry and perfume with some makeup.
He had a woman over?
He's not gay?
Curiosity got the best of her and walked out to the end of the corridor where the door to another room was slightly ajar.
What she saw on the other side of the door when she pushed to open it further was not something she could ever have imagined.
It was her best friend along with her son, shirtless and wearing jeans with a petite woman standing completely naked and blindfolded in front of them. The room they were in looked like a medieval torture chamber. Deep red with whips, cuffs, rope and what looked like various instruments of pain. What the hell is all this?
Grace gasped, unable to contain herself. Elena and Christian who had their backs to the door turned around and she could see the blood drain from their faces.
Before either of them could move, Grace left running, rushing out of the apartment not giving them a chance to explain. She couldn't stomach the sight of what she just saw. She knew what it was. She'd heard and read about it here and there… not to mention her rotations in the ER when they needed an extra set of hands to help out.
That happened two weeks ago. In the days that followed since that horrifying walk in, Carrick and Elliot tried calling Christian but he had completely shut down. He was mortified. Elena had been cut off from the Greys. Leila had been dismissed. It was her introductory session that afternoon, if she had done well then she would've stayed the entire weekend to be at Christian's beck and call.
Things obviously didn't go as planned.
Much like how this night was about to go.
From the moment Christian walked in, there was a chill in the air. The eerie quiet of everyone sitting in the formal living area at a distance from each other was both visually and emotionally jarring to witness and experience. It went from pin drop silence to a screaming match and vice versa. There was no in between. There were tears and musings of disappointment. The blame game was in full play. It was confusing. Everyone in the room felt like a failure. They had failed themselves and each other.
Christian drove out of there like a bat out of hell. He was not in control. He couldn't go to Elena now, repulsed by the thought of her. She would only make him feel shittier or try to seduce him like always. Whenever he was stressed and without a sub, she would always offer herself up for old time's sake in hopes of reminding him how good they were. Except, Christian didn't share that exact sentiment or recollection.
He was too ashamed to call his therapist. Years of Flynn giving Christian the tools to help him improve his personal life made no difference because Christian didn't want to use them. He refused to progress personally.
You can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped.
Ana lay awake in bed, tossing and turning. Her mind was racing, thinking of the bills that were mounting and debt that was sneering at her. She was working three jobs and was barely making ends meet. Her best friend/roommate was struggling too. New York City was not an easy place to make a name for yourself in but once you did, there was no turning back. But they were a long, long way from that dream.
She threw her covers off in frustration and got dressed. It was 1:08am, if she couldn't sleep then she was going to make herself useful and bake a cake or two. She lived above the Café she worked at in Alphabet City. It was a family owned establishment and they loved Ana and her best friend who worked there part-time as well. It was a small 4 story walkup and the owners of the Café gave the girls a break on the rent which helped. Ana also was allowed to use the coffee shop's kitchen to bake goodies if she liked, to practice her skill. However, the only catch was she had to bake two of each so it could be sold at the Café. It was a deal that was too good to pass up.
Ana headed down to the Café and got to work. It calmed her. The scent of vanilla extract reminded her of her mom. She smiled at the memory.
After placing the pans of the newly baked blueberry coffee cakes on the cooling racks, she checked the time and saw it was only 2:43am. Now what?
Walking through kitchen, she opened the back door to take in the cool fall air. The bar across from the Café's backyard was owned by Phil. He was an old Irish grandpa who lived in the same town as the owner of the Café, Matthew grew up. Since the Café and Bar had opposite operating times with very little overlap, they combined their backyards and set up the seating area with market lights. In the daytime, the Café would use it till 4pm for its customers and the bar would take over right after till the early morning hours.
Remembering that there was trash to be taken out, Ana locked up the door to the backyard and got busy again. She headed out into the side alleyway to throw it all in the dumpster when she heard the faint sounds of someone grunting and whimpering. She looked around and saw two pairs of legs, from the looks of it seemed like someone was lying on the ground. She walked over and found an injured man, trying his best to get up.
"Hey, hey... easy there." She cooed softly before kneeling down to try and help him stand. His mouth was bleeding and he'd been punched in the face but there wasn't too much damage; just some minor cuts and a busted lip. Still, he looked so beautiful. His eyes were barely open and his head was swaying like his body. He was hammered. Just another Thursday night at Phil's, she thought to herself.
"I can't stannn..." he slurred.
"It's okay, I'll help you. Do you know where you are?" She asked him gently.
"In your arms." He grinned and laughed like a child. Ana tried to concentrate on the task at hand and get him to cooperate which was a feat in itself. He towered her and it was proving a little difficult to hold him up. This is why she hated being short and a lightweight.
She stumbled into the Café and sat him down on one of the couches. After securing the first aid kit she helped him up the first flight of stairs into her apartment. In addition to getting cleaned up, he needed water, coffee painkillers, and most importantly something to eat. She'd learned from taking care of her best friend over the years.
Once he was sitting down on her bed, she got to work on cleaning him up before his wounds got infected.
"I'm really sorry but this will sting." She smiled apologetically. Christian shrugged sullenly with his eyes closed. He could take it. This would be the least painful thing he'd be experiencing this evening.
Except, it really did sting. He winced and cursed under his breath. Ana continued to apologize and soothe him, blowing gently on his cuts. Her touch was soft and gentle. It felt familiar. She smelled like vanilla and blueberries. She smelled like cake. He loved cake.
"I'm Ana by the way. What's your name?" She asked while putting away the things back in the first aid kit.
"Chris...ti-" He slurred.
"Hi Chris. Do you have a phone or someone I can call for you?"
He shook his head violently. "Nope!" he said, popping the p for added effect. "No one loves me."
How could no one love a beautiful man like him?
"I find that hard to believe, Chris. Maybe you just had a bad day." She held his hand and brushed her thumb softly over his knuckles.
Christian opened his eyes properly for the first time since he had been helped. Kneeling in front of him was a petite brunette with piercing blue eyes looking back at him with a smile. Angel, he thought. She's an angel.
But when Ana finally looked into his; she saw the loneliest and darkest storm.
They reminded her of a song she loved.
I could tell by his face
Those two tired eyes
It's been a long night searching for grace
Now the sun won't rise
She silently wondered what haunted him.
"You're pretty and beauuuutiful." He smiled wide and leaned forward to, in his mind, give her a certified Christian Grey kiss but to Ana it looked like he was going to fall down so she grabbed his shoulders to steady him.
"I guess you really are drunk there, Chris." She giggled. Beautiful wasn't a word that Ana had ever heard from the opposite sex before. She had her own demons that haunted her and kept her hidden away.
Ana told him to stay put while she would make him a cup of coffee and got him something to eat. When she returned he was still sitting on the bed, staring into space. She kneeled back in front of him and helped him drink the coffee but it hurt his lip so she got him one of those metal reusable straws she had along with feeding him a muffin she had baked earlier in the morning.
He was like a child in a trance. Ana tried to get him to talk. As time passed and she got him to drink some water and eat another muffin, he started to feel much better and began talking a little clearer. He had lost his phone and was not entirely sure how he ended up in the alley. He probably got into a fight, a byproduct of the pent up aggression from his family meeting earlier in the evening. All he said was that his family had abandoned him like his birth mother because he couldn't handle his truth.
No one wants me.
"Don't give up hope, Chris. Give each other some time." She said gently and asked him again if he remembered anyone's phone number so she could call them but he shook his head.
"I just wanna sleep." He pouted like a child. For some reason, it warmed Ana's heart. She helped him take off his jacket and tucked him in her bed but he called out to her as she got up to go and sleep on the couch. He asked her to sleep next to him but she was unsure about that and instead offered to sit next to him till he did. He held her hand pulling it close to him and she ran her hand through his hair to soothe him. He looked and seemed so sad as he kept his eyes fixed on her. He was fighting sleep and her heart ached as she watched him.
Christian stirred, kicking his legs a bit and opened his eyes. His head felt heavy along with his limbs. His mouth felt dry so he licked his lips and it stung. What the hell happened? He looked to his right and saw a woman sleeping with her back to him.
Oh fuck! Did I have a one-night stand with a random woman? Had she touched him? Panic set in. He had to get out and that's what he did. He didn't even know where he was but he slowly got up, careful to not make a noise and wake her and gathered his clothes to get the fuck out of there.
He exited the building and realized he was in Alphabet city. His car was parked in the next block. He was in no state to drive but could at least send Taylor a message from the car's tracker system. In the event he lost his phone, they had this system installed in all Grey House vehicles.
Two weeks later.
It had been two weeks since that morning. When Taylor picked him up he tried to remain as neutral as he could but ended up telling Christian he looked like he had been run over by a truck. After a shower and some more sleep back at his apartment, he was able to piece the night back together and felt an immediate sense of regret. He was an asshole. He shouldn't have left Ana like that.
Ana. Beautiful Ana.
Innocent blue eyes.
Ana.
He thought about her giggle, her smile and her gentle hands soothing him. How she continued to ask him if he needed anything. How she fed him and made sure he took painkillers so that the next morning wouldn't be so difficult.
I tend to do this for my best friend every now and then so I promise you won't feel too horrible in the morning.
He had to go back to her but he wanted his face to heal, and now two weeks later he looked like his old self. The busted lip had healed and the cuts on his cheeks had faded.
He remembered her telling him that she worked at the Café downstairs. It was a Thursday afternoon and he told Andrea to cancel all his appointments for the remainder of the day. He was a man on a mission.
Taylor dropped him off in front of the Café and waited in the car.
Christian Grey didn't do nervous but for some reason he was. He stood in front of the Café door for a few seconds before pulling it open triggering the jingle of bells that alerted the arrival of a new customer.
The place was full of people, mostly working on their laptops and consuming various beverages and baked goods. Christian walked up to the counter and was met with the sight of an older woman in her 60's.
"Hi, Welcome to Café on C. What can I get started for you?" She smiled with warmth.
"I'm actually looking for someone. Her name is Ana."
The woman's face fell.
"I'm sorry son, she died two weeks ago."
Christian's eyes went wide in disbelief. Died? How? She was absolutely fine... she was...
"I'm sorry, how?" He could barely get the words out.
"Hit and run." Her mouth set into a grim line and her eyes filled with tears.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." Christian swallowed thickly, trying to recover from the news himself.
She shook her head with a tight smile. "No you didn't. She was really loved by everyone, I guess news has been slowly spreading through the neighborhood."
Christian nodded and bid his goodbye to the older woman. He turned around to walk out when a table near the entrance caught his eye. There was a framed picture of two women in graduation robes, Ana along with another blonde who was smiling for the camera. The table was filled with single stemmed flowers of different varieties and small note cards with messages of support and memory of Ana.
His thoughts spiraled out of control as he climbed into the back of his car to head back to the apartment.
She was breathtakingly beautiful who gave him the gift of her compassion and touch.
But she was gone. In an instant.
He left her like a coward and now he was back for more but like everything else in life... he didn't deserve anything good. He fooled himself into thinking he was worthy of redemption.
Every night since then he dreamed of her voice humming and softly singing as she ran her hands through his hair.
'Cause tonight love feels nothing like Heaven
Don't leave me here
Leave Me Here - Hem.