Next chapter is up Hope those of you who are reading this are enjoying this fic I love this one. Please leave reviews, I love to know what you think whether it is good or bad

Chapter 11:

Sunday had seemed to drag on forever. The silence between her and Owen was killing her. After he left her house, she had thought that he would be back later to see Madison but he didn't, and he didn't call or text to let her know that he wasn't coming either. Claire knew that he had a lot on his plate right now, and his mind was probably working overtime, but it at the same time, as much as she wanted to understand him, to her it was no excuse to abandon his daughter. She had tried to text him or call him even but nothing. He seemed intent on not answering the phone. At first she was damn straight angry, because no matter what their situation was, he should still pick up just in case something is wrong where Madison is concerned, but when night time reached and he still didn't answer the bloody phone, Claire was starting to get worried, so she had grabbed Madison and went out for a drive…a drive near the bars mostly, trying to see if maybe she could see him anywhere, although that was a long shot. If there was a chance that he was somewhere drinking, the probability would still be that he would be inside a bar and not outside. At that moment, she wished she knew his friends so she could maybe contact them, and as she was thinking that, Claire realized that Owen had probably nowhere to stay unless he planned on facing the music and go back home, which she doubted he was in the mood to do so. Apart from all of that, he was still in his tux. He had nothing else to wear either. Why had she been so hard on him? 'Damn it' she cursed.

As she glanced in her rear view mirror, she realized Madison had fallen asleep in the backseat. She contemplated what to do while she kept on driving and trying to keep an eye out for Owen. She dialled Diane's number hoping Jessica was not with her and that she could help her out.

'Hey what's up? Is everything okay?' Diane asked her as if expecting something should be happening.

'Not sure exactly' Claire quickly replied as she took a turn to her left 'I have been trying to reach Owen since this morning and he won't pick up and I am starting to get worried. At the moment, I am driving around hoping I would spot him, but I have Madison sleeping in my car I can't really do much' Claire told her friend.

'You want to come for me so I can stay with Madison?' she asked her.

'Unless you're busy or you're with Jess' Claire told her.

'I'm free. I'll be ready' Diane replied before hanging up.

Claire sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair as she turned the corner and drove her way to Diane's house. She hated getting her into this but right now finding Owen was more important than not wanting to talk to anyone and keeping what happened between her and Owen a secret. It took her less than fifteen minutes to get to Diane's house and before she knew it, they were on their way back to the area where most of the pubs were.

'So…are you going to tell me what happened between you two?' Diane asked.

'Nothing' Claire lied.

'May I remind you, that this is me you are talking to?' Diane asked her 'What happened? When did you see him last?' Diane asked her.

'This morning' Claire replied with a heavy sigh.

'This morning?' Diane asked and then it hit her. He obviously hadn't been home and she knew that for a fact because she had spent the night with Jessica, wiping her tears and holding her in her arms as she sobbed her heart out. She had wondered where Owen was going to spend the night, and somehow she had dismissed the idea of him sleeping over at Claire's, but now that she is thinking about it, it actually makes sense. Where else would he go? 'He slept over at your house?' she asked her.

'It wasn't planned or anything' Claire started telling her as she looked out of the window in search of Owen, when she heard Diane gasp.

'You had sex with him?' she asked her shocked, her eyes going wide, and Claire snapped her head in Diane's direction, her mouth falling open. Struggling to find the words to deny the accusation, Diane could see right through her 'Don't even bother trying to deny it' Diane warned her.

'I don't even remember it okay. We were drunk' Claire protested trying to defend their actions 'I can't even remember having sex with him' she told her 'How the hell can't I remember?' she asked herself.

'Sex with him? Tell me you didn't say it like that to him?' Diane asked her.

'Actually…I did' Claire replied with a grimace, as she parked her car in the first available spot.

'No wonder he won't reply to your messages or phone calls' Diane replied 'Is that all it was for you seriously? He just left Jessica at the altar to be with you and all it is for you is just sex?' Diane asked her in disbelief.

'No damn it of course it's not…but that's how it slipped out, and besides…making love sounds so…I don't know…too deep' Claire told her.

'But you are in too deep. I know you are and so is he. You hurt his feelings I'm guessing' Diane told her.

'Yes…I know I have…but I didn't mean too I swear Diane. I can't just jump into a relationship with him as if he was never engaged and ready to be married to my best friend. I just can't do that. Things are bad enough as they are, can you imagine how she would flip out if she had to find out that Owen and I are already together? Why doesn't he get that? All I asked him was to just give me some time…to give us some time…to start dating when the time is appropriate. It is way too soon, I don't know why he took it so hard?' Claire told her.

'Probably all he was thinking was that he wanted to be with you, that he wanted to be with you so much he left his fiancée at the altar and when you denied him and from what you're telling me, looks like you took it the wrong way the fact that you ended up in bed together, I'm guessing he was too hurt, and maybe he feels like you don't want him as much as he wants you' Diane replied.

'But I do want him damn it. My marriage fell apart because I slept with him, because I couldn't be with John after him, and I have thought about him ever since. There is no other man I want to be with but him' Claire confessed.

'Then tell him that. Text him that if that is what it takes to get him to show up or at least reply to you' Diane suggested.

'But if I text him that, he is going to think that I want to be with him right now, and it is not that I don't want that but the time is just not right' Claire replied 'I'm going to check the bars, do you mind if you stay with Madison?' she asked her and Diane nodded.

She checked around fifteen bars that night but Owen wasn't there, and as she entered one and exited the other, and Owen was still nowhere to be found, Claire's worries grew even stronger. What if he was hurt or unconscious somewhere? Why won't he reply to just one message? What was he trying to prove by not texting her?

Please Owen…just text me anything. I'm worried about you. Let me know you are okay, and with that she pressed send.

Giving up, she returned to her car, dropped Diane back at her place and drove back home disappointed and worried more than she was before.

oooOOOooo

As he now sat on one of the empty stools in the bar once again, still in his tux but in a different bar, Owen shot down the tequila that the barman had poured in the shot glass, and just like the previous night, he had decided it would be best if he bought a bottle rather than requesting one shot after the other. It made no sense to him to keep on doing that, not after the way things had ended with Claire.

He knew he was wasted already, having been drinking since he left Claire's house, but at the moment he couldn't care any less. He was hurt and disappointed in her. He had never felt so rejected in his entire life. How could she do that to him? How could she treat him that way after leaving his fiancée for her, because he wanted to be with her. How could she refer to them making love as just sex? Didn't she feel anything for him? Did she really think it was just sex? And why the fuck can't he remember making love to her again after all the years he has waited to do so? He was so pissed off and so angry he wanted to break something, scream, yell, anything but at the same time he had no strength to do so. His phone ringing signalling a new text message caught his attention, and her name popped up on the scream.

'Can you come back so we can talk?' she asked.

He grabbed his phone and almost replied back to leave him the hell alone, but then he placed his phone back down, grabbed the bottle of tequila again and shot down some at the back of his throat. Not long after her face popped up on the scream again. She was trying to call him, trying to reach him for what was probably the tenth time already and that only included calls, not messages, and all the while his phone rang, his eyes remained glued on her photo. She was so damn beautiful, it hurt so much to look at her now. Despite all the anger that he felt towards her, all he wanted to do was reach over and touch her, hold her, anything as long as he was close to her.

'Please Owen…I'm worried about you. Call me or text me…anything' the next message said.

But she didn't here from him.

oooOOOooo

In the last five years Owen had ended up in so many pubs and so wasted he didn't even know where he was anymore or what happened most of the time. He woke up to find himself in an unfamiliar environment…an unfamiliar bedroom, and as he blinked his eyes hard, stretching his mouth before he lifted his hand to rub his face hard, he sat up in a sitting position and realized that his clothes were scattered on the floor.

Fuck.

What the hell had he gotten himself into this time? Once again, he was awake to find himself naked in a bed with no memory of the previous night, but this time, he was definitely not in Claire's bedroom.

Claire. Shit.

He searched around for his phone which thankfully he found on the bedside table, picked it up and just like the past days, he found around fifteen missed calls and more messages than he could count. She kept telling him that she was worried about him, begging him to send her a message to let her know that she was fine, telling him that Madison has been asking for him, that she has been upset he didn't visit her. Fuck. He was ashamed to realize that for the last five days he had completely forgotten that he has a daughter to tend to, that it wasn't just about him anymore, that his actions affected the little girl who's eyes light up every time she sees him. He realized then, that he needed to get his act together and put these past five days behind him. He can't keep getting drunk, loosing memory of what happened the previous nights and keep on wearing the same outfit he still was wearing since his wedding day. He lifted his arm and sniffed his armpit. How was he still not smelling after wearing the same clothes and not shower for the past five days?

Pushing the covers off him, he got out of the bed carefully and slowly to examine the situation and how drunk he still was or not. To his surprise, he was able to stand up straight and no one was around. Good. He could just get dressed and get the hell out of wherever he was, and as he contemplated where to go as he walked out of what looked like a motel room, he contemplated where he should head next. He had no car because it was still in front of his old place and no clothes either because everything was still at his old place. He pulled a face realizing he needed to head back there…but fuck. No keys. How was he getting inside without facing Jessica? Maybe he could break into his old place…and then he shook that thought away. Jessica would freak out when she finds out that someone broke into her home. He decided to head there anyway and maybe figure something out along the way.

oooOOOooo

Diane walked into Claire's office to find her pacing from one side of the office to the other, her phone against her ear. Closing the door behind her, she waited arms crossed in front of her, a frown taking over her face as she watched Claire run a hand through her hair, before cursing and throwing her phone on to the couch angrily.

'Still no answer?' Diane asked her.

'No' Claire replied 'I even called the hospitals to check if anyone was admitted by his name, but nothing' Claire replied.

'Well that's a good thing' Diane told her.

'Maybe' she replied and then shook her head 'Yeah I guess it is. At least I know he is not hurt…right?' she asked her.

'Of course' Diane replied as she approached her now sitting on the couch, her elbows resting on her knees, her fingers laced together 'Did you eat anything?' she asked her and Claire shook her head 'You can't go on a hunger strike again Claire, you remember what happened last time don't you?' Diane asked her.

'I'm not hungry' Claire replied.

'I don't care. I'm getting you something to eat, and you have to eat it' Diane told her and with that she made her way out of the office, leaving Claire lost in thought.

'What have I done?' she asked herself.

oooOOOooo

Jessica was on her way back to her apartment after a long day at work. She had decided getting back to work was the best way to get what happened behind her and try to move on…not that she wanted to really, and not that she wanted or was ready to face her colleagues after what happened but at the same time, she knew it needed to be done. It doesn't matter when she does, she was going to have to do it someday so might as well do it now and be done with it and start trying to face everything that happened and her new life, and maybe just maybe she could just start moving on, although with all of Owen's belongings still at her place it was kind of hard to do so. She contemplated texting him a couple of times to ask him to take his things out but then she always backed down. She didn't want to talk to him or see him for that matter and if when he finally decides to come and collect his stuff she won't be around, it would be much better.

That thought though, wasn't at all what she wanted. She wanted to see him and she wanted to talk to him. She wanted answers to the questions that she had, even though she wasn't sure if she really wanted to know the answers after all. The truth scared her more than she was willing to admit. To hear him say that he loves Claire, that he loves Claire more than he had ever loved her, the woman who has been her best friend all her life, pained her more than she wanted to admit. This was oh so still so surreal to be losing her fiancé to Claire. How could this have happened? Why did the universe hate her so much? What had she done to deserve this? She had wasted five years of her life…a life that was now probably ruined. She might never get married now or have kids. It might be too late for her now. Finding someone else, someone that would replace Owen was going to be tough…really tough and healing, now that was the most difficult aspect from all of this. She knew that the pained always dragged on for what feels like forever. It will tire and drain her, of that she was sure, because she already felt drained and exhausted from all the crying she had been doing and from feeling so low and pathetic for crying over a man who clearly didn't want her and was just using her.

She had just closed the main door of the building and was just about to climb up the second flight of stairs when she stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes focused on the man sitting down in front of her door, still in his tux from five days ago. He looked like hell. What the hell happened to him? Where was he? Why was he still in his tux five days later? Why wasn't he with Claire? So many questions were popping up in her head but for the moment she seemed to be able to hold them back.

'What do you want?' she snapped at him, still standing at the bottom of the stairs.

'I need to get my stuff. I…I don't have the keys on me' Owen replied as he stood up and stepped out of the way so she could get through.

She stood there staring at him for the longest minute before she made her way up the rest of the stairs and opened the door to what used to be their place. It was strange being back at this place now that they are no longer together…strange and awkward to say the least. He hesitated at first not sure if he should just grab a couple of garbage bags and throw everything in them and just get the hell out of here as quickly as possible or if he should say something to her…anything.

He watched her make her way in, putting her keys, phone and bag on the kitchen counter and then open the refrigerator and grabbing the water. She didn't bother to turn around to ask if he wanted one, even if he did look like he could use a glass of water, a shower and a change of clothes, she just grabbed a glass from the cupboard, poured some water and drank it while Owen just stood there with his hands in his pockets, still hesitating.

When it appeared obvious that Jessica was just going to continue ignoring his presence he made his way into the bedroom, stopping briefly at the entrance to take it all in and then walked inside and pulled the black luggage from under the bed, placed it on the bed and opened it. Walking towards the wardrobe he started pulling his clothes and placing them in the luggage, keeping a t-shirt and a pair of shorts aside to finally change his clothes.

He realized as he was changing that everything was still in place even the photos hanging on the wall or the frames on the bedside table. She didn't put them away, and then his eyes caught sight of the mirror hanging above the bed, and his mind drifted to Claire and the conversation they had had in her office. Damn he missed her! He shook his head trying to push all thoughts of her away. Here he was in what used to be his bedroom with Jessica and he was thinking about Claire again, just like he had been doing for the last couple of weeks before the wedding. It wasn't right and he knew that but he couldn't help himself. This bedroom was her design. It had her touch, and every time he looked at the bloody mirror all he could think about was her, and how hurt she was when Jessica had suggested it. Frustrated at their current situation, he walked out of the bedroom, grabbed a couple of garbage bags and placed the remained of his items inside.

Jessica was nowhere around it seemed, so he started getting his stuff out and leaving them all together in front of the door. It was only now that he realized that he had no ride and no place to go either. What the fuck was he going to do with all of his stuff now? He pulled his phone a couple of minutes later and dialled the number of the one person he could turn to right now.

'Owen? Where the fuck have you been?' he heard Barry ask.

'I need a favour' Owen told him not responding to his question 'Can you pick me up from my place…or what used to be my place? I came to collect my stuff' he informed him.

'Okay. Just give me a minute to let them know I need to take my break now and I will be on my way' Barry told him. He knew there was a lot more he needed to know and a lot more for Owen to explain but that would have to wait until later.

'You're leaving…just like that?' Owen heard Jessica ask from behind him 'Not even a bye? Nothing?' she asked him trying to hold back the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat.

'No' Owen stammered taking a deep long breath 'I just…I was just calling Barry to come pick me up' he told her.

There was a moment of silence until Jessica couldn't take it anymore. She needed to know 'Why? Why Owen? Why her and not me?' she asked him, as she looked down at her fingers as she fidgeted with them.

Owen didn't know what to say really. He didn't feel like it was a choice he had really made. It was as if the choice had been made for him…by his heart. He had always known that he had fallen in love with Claire the moment he saw her standing behind him in the rain five years ago. It really wasn't by choice. It just happened.

'We have a daughter together' he offered up, knowing that that was not the real reason.

'Bullshit' she yelled at him angrily 'Don't okay…don't try to play me for a fool' she told him pointing her finger at him 'You love her…you have always loved her…it has always been her, hasn't it? HASN'T IT?' she screamed when he didn't reply 'Admit it damn it. Admit it' she told him standing right in front of him now. She had been walking closer to him involuntary as she spoke or rather screamed at him.

'Yes' he whispered closing his eyes 'I have always loved her' he admitted.

'How could you?' she asked him her voice coming out as a whisper 'How could you do this to me?' she asked him as she started hitting him in his chest now 'How could you? With my best friend? You ruined our friendship. You ruined everything' she yelled at him as tears streamed down her face and all Owen could do was just stay there and let her let it all out.

'I'm sorry' was all he could offer.

'Sorry? Sorry?' she repeated 'Do you really think saying sorry will change anything? Sorry doesn't cut it. You left me for Claire…for my best friend. A friend I don't have anymore…but then again…men always preferred her and not me' she said in almost a whisper now, no more shouting as it started to hit her 'Even when we were young…boy always wanted her and not me' she went on and then she stopped 'Why the hell am I telling you this?' she asked herself before turning around needing to gather herself without looking at him even though she knew he was still looking at her. He stood there silent not really knowing what to say. Anything that seemed to come out of his mouth seemed to be taken the wrong way, so he decided to stay quiet. His phone ringing though, pulled both of them out of their thoughts, and Jessica turned to look at him. She knew Barry had arrived and this was going to be it.

'Did you ever really loved me Owen?' she asked him taking a couple of steps closer to him, but not too close.

'I did' he whispered 'I really did…and if Claire never walked back into my life, there was no one else I would want to spend my life with' he told her honestly 'I truly am sorry Jess' he replied and with that he grabbed the two big garbage bags and the luggage, turned around and left, leaving Jessica in tears once again.

oooOOOooo

It has been a week since Claire had seen Owen, a week since Owen left Jessica at the altar and in the past week he hadn't texted or called…nothing, not even to check on Madison. Claire was still trying to reach him but Owen still refused to talk to her, and Claire was starting to get past her worry and getting angry now. This silent treatment was not only upsetting her but was hurting Madison. The poor girl couldn't understand why her daddy had suddenly abandoned her. The last time she saw him had been at the church as he walked away from Jessica. She missed him and wanted to see him and talk to him, spend time with him.

They were out at the playground but Madison was just sitting on the grass looking down. She was refusing to have any fun and play and Claire took a picture of her daughter and sent the photo to Owen 'This is your doing. She refuses to play. Damn it Owen you have a daughter you can't just walk away and abandon her!' she wrote before sending the text.

'What's up pumpkin?' Claire asked Madison as she sat down next to her.

'I miss daddy' Madison admitted still looking down 'Is he angry at me? Did I do something wrong?' she asked.

'Oh no no no pumpkin you didn't' Claire told her as she picked her up and sat her on her thighs, as Madison's legs wrapped around Claire's waist 'You didn't do anything. Daddy is just…going through some hard times, and he just needs some time away that is all' she told her before pulling her into a hug.

'From me?' Madison asked as she looked up briefly at her mum.

'Not from you sweetheart…' Claire started telling her, 'Damn it Owen' she cursed inwardly 'Grown-ups sometimes just need some time for themselves when things start getting too much, and sometimes that means from everyone as well but not because he doesn't want to see you. Actually…you might probably be the only one he wants to see right now' Claire told her.

'Daddy doesn't want to see you?' Madison asked her confused 'Why?' she asked.

'We just…had a disagreement that is all. I'm sure daddy will come around soon. Just give him some time okay?' Claire asked and Madison nodded before Claire pulled her into another hug.