He didn't want that.
And by that he means spending the last four hours in a bus only to step foot in a town he sweared to himself he never would again. But he also means stepping foot in this damned town to bury the man that helped forge who he is today.
Heart old man didn't stand a worst thing: he didn't get to say goodbye.
The last conversation he had with him was two days before his dad passed away. They ended the call with an argument. I miss you Jug and this town is not the same without you. You need to grow a pair and fix things out with -. And that's where he stopped him, before FP could say her name.
Another thing he didn't want. See her. Think of her. Or anything related to her.
He wasn't a jerk, he didn't end his relationship with his father or sister because of her. But that does not mean that things weren't and are complicated.
After graduation, he left Riverdale to never come back. He left for Iowa the second he knew he could move into the dorms. On his birthdays, FP and Jellybean came to visit. They would spend the day together and create a new tradition, one he would learn to love in the end. The same pattern would repeat in the New Years and in some other holidays and random weekends. But he would never go to them. The risk was just too much.
The holidays which his family wasn't with him weren't easy. But he was a lone wolf, being alone was never a problem for him. Besides he had Veronica, who would've thought that.
He and Ronnie never had much time to actually know each other, being busy with daddy troubles – that worked for both of them – running business, dealing with gangs and stuff, but most being girlfriend and boyfriend to people they used to know about.
But when she sat down on the other side of Pop's table and offered him a chocolate milkshake on that fateful night saying "We deserve all the chocolate and the junk food in the world right now" something changed. She was still in her prom dress and when he looked at her he couldn't believe what was made of the same girl he watched outsmart one of the most cunning man he ever met.
She told him what happened at the dance. Before Queen and King coronation the lights blacked out and some videos started playing on the TV screens that seconds before were showing pictures of their class on their finest moments. Videos that recorded the worst moments of their lives. One of those clips showed her best friend kissing her boyfriend.
He already knew about the cheating.
Hours earlier he was seating on the coach just to stand when she set her foot on the last step. She was beautiful, in a pink dress. He felt himself speechless while Alice kept taking pictures of them and his father held an emotional smile on his face. And when he felt the words coming back to him, his phone vibrated on his pocket. He was about to say how perfect she looked when he saw a message from an unknow number. In it was a video that showed two people wearing her and
his bestfriend masks, kissing like they were lovers. He knew what that meant but couldn't believe it, they would never do that to him, to Veronica.
But he couldn't and wouldn't let go. So when she saw that the smile on his face was gone, she came closer to look at his cell. He didn't say a word and she was already crying. That's when he knew that all the rejection he ever felt from his mom was nothing compared to what he was feeling at that moment.
He blocked her voice and the others while he flew through the door. He grabbed his bike keys and started driving with no path in mind. Stopped himself on the border when he realized he couldn't leave his family, not when he just got it back. That's when he went to Pop's. He had nowhere to go anymore.
That night he lost the love of his life but gained a friend for a lifetime.
Veronica offered her speakeasy for him to the stay the night. She stayed too because she didn't want her dad to glow of how much right he was of trying to get rid of her boyfriend. That's what she told him, but she didn't want to leave him alone and be alone with her thoughts.
The friendship came out pretty easily after that.
It was hard walking around town being afraid he was going to meet her or him but Ronnie made her life's mission to make sure that wasn't happening. She was glued to his side all the time and it didn't help that he was now living in her business. They would talk when he wasn't staring at his computer trying to write something. They couldn't agree to almost nothing but she was smart, she could definitely make a argument very interesting.
When the time came, she helped him with the move along with his father and sister. It was quite annoying and funny listening to her and Jelly argue about of something he didn't care enough. Years later he would see his sister calling Veronica to talk about some guy she saw on the campus when she came to visit.
And with Ronnie he was when his family couldn't be with him. They became each others family. She keeps saying she should change her name to Jones "Your family is so much better than mine that you guys should adopt me already. You know Forsythe, Lodge is so overestimated these days".
He knew she was done from her family. With her dad's scheming and her mom dying from breast cancer three years ago, she felt like she had no one in the world. So she would get in a plane to Iowa or send him a ticket to New York every time she knew he would be alone. They wouldn't talk everyday but their friendship had endured all these years with it's up's and down's.
Like when she decided that his moping had lasted long enough and he should start dating again and set him up with one of her friends. Or when she said that he should be able to say their names out loud without feeling like his heart would come out through his mouth. Or when she dragged him to a therapist when she knew he wasn't writing anymore. Or when they kissed.
Yes, that happened.
They were miserable on an amazing hotel room in Spain she had booked for them to spend their summer vacation. Her mom had just died and had seen some photo on Facebook someone in Riverdale had liked and it had her ex in it. He was sad because he had dreamt about her again. So they agreed to have one drink, even with his no alcohol policy. Then she remembered when they kissed on her jacuzzi and kept saying about how much she wanted to make they hurt. So that is when it happened.
They couldn't look each other in the face after that. But two days later she came to him saying "I love you too much to lose you over a kiss and we should be adults about it and never talk about that night again". He agreed and it never happened again.
He never drinked alcohol again since that day, which was a good thing considering what it made to his family.
Two years after that, Ronnie started dating one guy he didn't mind knowing it's name and had freaked out when she found out that he was a editor. A editor to one of the greatest publishing company in the industry. So she stole his book from his computer when he said he wasn't ready to show it to someone else – she was the only person who ever read that. But Veronica wouldn't let his past interfere with his future. That's were her words. So she sent it to her boyfriend who was more than happy to help a friend of his girlfriend. A week later she appeared in his cubicle of apartment with a bag full of hamburgers from his favorite place next to his building and with a smile so big that made her look like the Cheshire cat. First came the apologies but then she said "They liked Forsythe, they really loved your story and they want to publish it. Can you imagine that? I will be friends with a published author. So very Miss Golightly of me."
First he called Toni, he had to make sure that Cheryl was okay with her brother's murder being told to the world. And to his surprise, she agreed "JJ deserves to have his history told in a grand way, so as long as you change the names, I'm good about that." So he took a plane to New York and spent a whole week talking to editors and writing down his contract. Veronica helped, acting more like his lawyer than the guy she recommended him. After many meetings he left the building feeling like the most lucky man in the world.
But then the real trouble begun. He had no idea how much work was involved in editing a work of years. So he moved to New York right after to an apartment that was smaller than his old one, he didn't know that could actually happen but rental wasn't cheap in the Big Apple and he didn't feel like moving into Ronnie's. He didn't mind the minimal space, it was already so much better than what he had in high school.
And his nightmare started. Seating with his editor – not Veronica's boyfriend which she had already dumped at the time – and going through every word again, reminding him what was like all those years ago, the feelings, the memories, her helping him with his writing, it was just too much. So he started his therapy again where he met his actual girlfriend, Jen.
Veronica had freaked out when he said some girl he met had asked him on a date, not the other way around. She convinced him to go and he didn't regretted listening to her.
Jen was funny, smart, determined, loved mysteries and horror movies, definitely not blonde but with a beautiful brown curly hair, wasn't a out-going person and respected his personal space. She and Ronnie got along really fast and suddenly his life felt good again. They were
honest with each other, honesty was something that he now valued in a relationship. So he told her about her. It wasn't easy but he had to do it in order for her to understand why he was in the way he was that day. She understood and never tried to compete with that or used against him in a fight. Actually, they never fought. Probably what made him think that they weren't soulmates but he was not going there. He was finally happy after spending years of his life miserable, so he wasn't going to destroy it by overthinking once again.
Everything was perfect but since it was his life, something had to go wrong.
Because he was busy dealing with stuff related to his book he was never available whenever his dad and sister wanted to visit or talk. After the third try his dad had enough. That's why the call, the last time he ever spoke to his father.
Jughead was actually the first to call to tell him that his book was finally ready but didn't had the chance to actually say it.
And now here he was, getting out of a old bus. He should have accepted Ronnie's offer and used her driver but he just wanted to be alone. That's what he is best at. That's how he worked. The only thing missing is his self destructive way, but hey, he's only been Riverdale for a few minutes, so who knows.
He walked for a while till a bus stop to get on another bus to where he was staying at Pembroke. After finding a place to sit, he took his phone from his pocket only to find ten missed calls from Veronica and other messages asking him if he was okay or where he was. He could answer her later, because right now he would enjoy the peace before the storm he knew it was coming.
With the bus moving the memories came all back, hitting deeper at every new street. Him and his dad riding their bikes. Him, Sweet Pea and Fangs walking around at midnight. He and him. He and her. That's why he left this place. Everything was too much for him.
At the right time he got out, stopping right in front of the Pembroke. The teenager version of him would make fun of anyone who said that this building was going to be his residence, for the next week at least. But his life is joke to him so he got used to it by now.
Feeling like he was being watched he turned his face only to find the only person he didn't want to see staring at him holding hands with a little girl who looked a perfect mix of Polly and Cheryl together .
The last time he saw her was on graduation. He stopped answering her calls and texts the moment he left the Cooper residence, so as soon as she saw him, she looked like a mad woman. Her hair was in a low ponytail, in way she used to do when she was tired or upset. She had dark circles under her eyes and her face was pale. Veronica was still getting dressed and he felt panicked, so he turned and started to walk on the opposite direction and Betty started to run to him. He felt quite ridiculous, running away from a girl like he was five again. So he stopped and she almost bumped into him. He remembers her talking so fast he almost doesn't get what she's saying.
"I'm sorry Jug. You have to hear me, please you have to listen to what I have to say" she was crying and now her face was red.
"Betty –" he tries to stop her but she's faster.
"You have to believe me, it was just a kiss. Archie and me –" his best friend's name triggers something in him and he can't stand anymore.
"Stop this –"
"You have to believe me, Jughead" she pleads
"No I don't" he interrupts her and this time he had enough "I don't believe in you, in any word you have to say to me. We're over and I don't ever want to see you again, so please, do me a favor and get away from me"
He walked away from her, wanting to ask her so many questions. Why she did it? Why wasn't he enough? Why she couldn't be honest with him, instead of betraying him and Veronica with his best friend? Why was he do easy to let go?
He wanted all those answers, but was feeling too angry and scared of what he was going to hear if he asked her.
That was the last time he saw her. Until now.
She didn't change a thing. Maybe her hair was a bit shorter and a little bit darker. The bright colors were gone, black being the only one there, no more little bright skirts, black tight pants instead. Perhaps she finally banned Alice from her closet. Not that he would know it. The last thing he ever heard about her was from Jellybean, three days after prom, saying she heard a lot of screaming coming from a fight she was having with his former bestfriend. He didn't care to know more, it was probably a lover's fight for all he cared. After that he made sure to let his dad and JB know that he didn't want to know anything about her.
His dad. His last conversation with his father was about her. He let the anger invade his mind thinking about how much time he lost with FP because of her. He could see his therapist shaking her head saying Jughead you must let yourself feel but you shouldn't be pointing fingers while you do it. Bullshit, that's what he thought of her line. He just lost his father. He has the right to point fingers at the Pope and the president, if he wants to.
She kept looking at him with her red eyes that seemed to be even more greener. His heart felt like stopping and racing at the same time. Three years of therapy going down the drain in three seconds. He felt bad about the money he spent on one hour every week for the last years. He did the math, he could've bought that Apple's headphone he was dreaming about or moved to a bigger apartment. Or ordered thirty more pizzas from the place he loved. Anything would've been more useful to him.
He saw her lifting her hand and shaking it very lightly, like in slow motion. He couldn't move or say something, he felt petrified. You idiot. You shouldn't feel that way. She means nothing to you now. You hate her. Idiot and liar. And stupid. Weak. Moron.
"Jughead?" Veronica's voice broke his inner dialogue.
She was passing through her building's door when she saw him standing there like a statue. Of course she got here earlier. She probably texted him that but he never saw it because of his stubbornness. When she got to him and looked at his face, she diverted her eyes to where his were glued to. He felt her stiffen beside him and remembered that being in this town was not easy for her too. "Oh my god" she said in a whisper.
"Come on, you must be tired"
He was tired. Hating her was never an easy thing for him to do. And just like that he felt the anger pull away to just feel numb. He felt Ronnie pulling his right arm for him to get in. The last thing he saw was her lowering her hand and looking at the little girl who was pulling her arm to get attention.
Ronnie dragged him to the elevator saying something that sounded like damn these small towns and it's people. He didn't take the offence, he was busy making his heart calm down.
They got in and he leaned on the mirrored wall taking his hand to his beanie less head. He felt her looking at him and counted two seconds before he heard her speak.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes", but suddenly he didn't feel like lying so he said the truth. "No"
He felt her hand squeeze his shoulder and heard her sigh. "With a luck like yours, you don't need enemies, Forsythe"
"Tell me about it" he says after a long breath.
They heard the elevator open and felt Veronica's hands on his arm.
"Are you ready for this?"
He shook his head while looking at his feet and heard her sigh again.
"If I say there's burgers and fries from Pop's along with chocolate milkshakes waiting for you at the apartment, that would make you feel better?"
My stomach made itself known by making a weird noise that Veronica certainty heard. "Definitely"
She laughed and let his arm go."Welcome back to Riverdale and let the drama begin."
He gave her a small laugh that came out without his intention and let her drag him through the door.
His last thought before going in was Please God let this be quick and easy.
But who was he kidding? His life was not easy, and he was sure it wasn't going to start now.