A week had passed since Miles' last escape attempt, and he felt no different since then. Well, that was partially not true, seeing as his curfew was set back by thirty minutes and was not allowed to leave the building for the period of time. Oh, and how could he forget? The muzzle. Many in Zootopia felt as though muzzling predators fell under the category of cruel and unusual punishment, an opinion Miles shared. Though he had to give his caretakers credit, it did stop him from biting himself, even if he hated the very idea of the device. It was scarcely used on anyone else thankfully, but if he could reach the back of the pesky thing, it would be off in a heartbeat. While rubbing his irritated temples he started to remember one grating fact: he was completely, utterly bored.
Miles hadn't had nearly enough motivation to do much of anything after his latest attempt at escape, which deeply deprived him of that fleeting figment of feeling alive called dopamine. He didn't even feel compelled to put on one of his playlists or maybe doodle a bit in his sketchbook, no, this was a new kind of boredom. He didn't have any hobbies and he had been homeschooled as long as he could remember, not to mention his often debilitating depression. Everything there was to do had been expunged. The grey fox sat back down on his bed and put his hands on his caged face. Miles' gaze fixed itself from the floor to the nightstand as he looked at the folded up note Nick had given him. He raised an eyebrow and took the note in his hand, beginning to toy with the idea. What else did he have to do? Then again, why give this stranger a chance? Miles hated meeting new people, no matter the occasion, and avoided doing so whenever possible. He took out his phone and stared at it with curiosity. Would Nick even pick up? He didn't know, and didn't particularly care, but no matter his efforts, Miles just couldn't shake the idea.
The spoon delicately clinked against the ceramic mug as Nick added small helpings of sugar to his morning coffee. A whole weekend off was not something he saw often, but something he would most definitely make the most of. He gave a pleasant hum as he took in the aroma and felt the scalding liquid enter his body. The red fox sat himself down in his favorite recliner and flipped through the channels on the television. He never found anything in particular too captivating, but some background noise wouldn't hurt. He sipped at his coffee again and felt himself slowly come alive. His peaceful return from slumber was interrupted however by the shrieking of his phone ringing. Nick flipped it over and was caught slightly off guard. "Don't believe I know you," his inner voice observed, "Not a number I recognize, anyway. Should I answer?"
Nick had no way of telling who this could be, but decided that maybe he should indulge. He swiped the green button emblazoned with a classic white telephone and cleared his throat.
"Hello, who is this?"
A slightly familiar voice shyly answered, "Officer Wilde? Is that you?"
"Miles?" he remembered now, "Yeah, it's me. Just call me Nick, okay? Pretty early to be striking up a phone call, don'tcha think?"
Miles stumbled over his words a little, "Oh, s-sorry about that, I didn't mean to wake you…"
"You didn't wake me, but I'm not exactly an early riser."
"Same," his tone shifted from casual to more serious, "Why did you even give me your number to begin with?"
Nick paused for a second. He didn't expect something like that so soon. He thought it best to just be honest with the boy.
"Well, uh, I just kinda took interest in you. You seem like the kind of guy who has layers, you know, layered, three-dimensional, more than meets the eye, ya know?"
A humble scoff was heard on Miles' end, "Trust me, what you see is what you get with me. I'm not special."
"Surely there's something about you that's outstanding, isn't there?" Nick noticed the length of their call and somewhat haphazardly changed the subject, "Hey, this whole phone thing is getting a bit drawn out. Would you, I dunno, maybe want to meet up and talk in person? It could just be at my place if you want, if the whole social gathering thing isn't your forte."
"Uh, sure, sounds cool. I don't exactly know where you live though."
Oh no. What did he say? Did he really just say that without thinking? "Fuck me sideways," he muttered under his breath. Why did he say that? What compelled him to say that? He put a paw up to his muzzled mouth and sighed. Of all the stupid things Miles has ever said, this by far was the stupidest. Oh sure, just go meet up with some rando you just met a week ago. That's how kids go missing! "Nick wouldn't do that," Miles fired back to himself, "He seems nice enough...wait, this is seriously not helping my case!" Too late. No turning back now. He fucked up, and he fucked up royally. Now, he had to face the consequences. He barely caught Nick explaining how he would text Miles the address. He gave a barely attentive acknowledgement and hung up. "Guess I'm doing this now," he morosed. So much for being bored.
Redmane Estate Complex. This looked like the place. Miles entered the lobby and shielded his face from any prying eyes, scratching the irritations the muzzle left when in the elevator. As he ascended, he rephrased the directions given, "Fourth floor, last door on the left." The doors gilded open and Miles continued his path, though still with much regret. He just got grounded for sneaking out, and here he was doing it again. Just fantastic. Reaching the end of the hall, The grey fox made a left and hesitantly knocked on the door.
A click was heard as the door unlocked and Nick opened to greet him.
"You made it!" The red fox chirped, "For a second there I thought I'd ha—"
Miles saw the older vulpine freeze as he let out a sharp gasp. He pulled the grey fox by the forearm and forced him down into one of the dining room chairs. He turned in an about face and the boy felt the straps on his face loosen. Nick pulled the muzzle off Miles' face with gentle, yet ungodly force. Miles stretched and massaged his jaw as Nick sternly grabbed hold of his forearms, his emerald eyes staring back at him with distraught.
"Miles," he was almost yelling now, "Why in God's name were you wearing that thing!?"
Nick hated to be so rough, especially after their first encounter, but he needed to know. What kind of horrible, uncaring monster of a person would muzzle a child? It was despicable. Miles was clearly shocked by this outburst, barely managing a reply.
"M-My caretakers. They s-s-said I have to wear it if I'm gonna b-bite at myself like that."
Nick shook his head, furiously tossing the wretched thing on the floor.
"Disgusting."
The grey fox was shaking like a leaf now. Nick's heart sank as he looked up at him, ashamed of himself for scaring him like that. His face contorted from a near snarl into a sympathetic pout. He loosened his grip on Miles' arm and began to caress where he grabbed.
"Hey now," He murmured, "I'm sorry, pal. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. It wasn't your fault. I just...I just hate those damn things, you see?"
The younger vulpine nodded slightly, less tense but still shaken up. He took a few deep breaths and felt Nick's gentle touch. His eyes fell to the floor as he remembered how he was muzzled in the first place.
"No," Miles confessed, "It is my fault. If I could only stop biting...but, I just get so stressed. I have to get it out somehow, and that's the first thing that comes to mind. I'm sorry for triggering you like that, Nick."
Nick moved his paws up to the boy's shoulders and gave him a look of reassurance.
"No no no no, it is not, in any way, your fault. If I had it my way, those god-forsaken torture devices would be outlawed 'til kingdom come. Why would they even think of doing that to you?"
Miles lowered his shields a bit. Nick looked to show genuine concern for him, and it was surprising. He believed it only fair to provide further details.
"They had it around when the Night Howlers were a thing. It was never used, but everyone was so paranoid about it that they got one just in case. When someone noticed my bite marks, they started making me wear it as a punishment. 'For my own good,' they said."
Nick snorted as he released the grey fox's arms, "'For your own good.' Those devices aren't for anyone's good. Miles, that's absolutely horrible. I swear I would have taken your side and gotten you as far away from there as possible if I knew Greypaw was like that."
Miles' ears perked up, "Oh no, they're not abusive! Bit neglectful maybe, but don't worry yourself. This was just a more extreme case I guess."
Nick had a hard time believing that muzzling a child who self harmed wasn't a qualifier for abuse, but he was willing to give the benefit of the doubt. He stood up and exhaled dramatically as he changed his tone.
"Well anyway, it's nice to have you. Can I get you anything?"
"Oh, you don't have to...but would you happen to have any chamomile?"
The red fox rummaged through his cupboards and cabinets and managed to find a small mug and a tea bag. He placed it on the island table and filled a small kettle with hot water on the stove. He sat at the dining table perpendicular to Miles and planted his elbow down, resting his chin on the tip of his thumb and two middle phalanxes. Nick curiously watched him and saw his eyes darting around the room. He gazed deeper into them, taking in every detail of their color and was mesmerized. The boy's eye color was a radiant icy cerulean, like the most precious blue diamonds.
"Your eyes," he couldn't help but remark, "They're so blue! Quite handsome, if I do say so myself."
Miles blushed a little and looked away, "Uh, thanks. Y-Your eyes are cool too. Green's a nice color."
Clearly he wasn't one for small talk. Nick continued to stare at him and try to figure him out as the grey fox went to fix his tea, alerted by the whistle of the kettle. Miles began staring back as he took a drink of the steaming beverage. The younger vulpine set the mug down and barked out a question.
"What do you want with me, anyway?"
Nick thought it was obvious, but answered anyway.
"It was getting tedious talking on the phone like that, wasn't it? I felt this was easier, and clearly you must've as well."
"I know that, but why even bother picking up in the first place? Hell, why even give me your number? We're complete strangers, we'd probably never see each other again after last week."
Nick blinked slowly at the question. Why exactly did he give Miles his number? He didn't really know, he was just curious.
"Well, I guess I'm just curious. I'm kinda intrigued by you, I suppose," He replied honestly, "Nothing really that deep."
Miles took another drink of tea and broke their gaze, casting his eyes to the side. Why him though? Out of every mammal in Zootopia, he had to be the least interesting. He was just a regular kid who was too depressed for his own good, no redeeming qualities whatsoever. This left two options in Miles' head; one, Nick had painfully poor standards, or two, he was batshit crazy.
The grey fox returned to the table and shrugged the statement off. He had little regard for his older peer's interest, but he was already here, nothing more he could do.
"Interested how?"
This earned a small smirk from Nick as he stretched, placing his hands behind his head.
"Well, you know, only the bare minimum, but if you're comfortable sharing more I won't complain."
Miles rolled his eyes, "So you're interrogating me, then."
"What? Not at all!" Nick shot up. "I'm not asking as an officer or anything, just as an interested party, maybe even a friend."
Friends? With him? Unlikely. Miles didn't have any friends, and he hated people enough to want to keep it that way. Still, he didn't have much choice in the matter, unless he decided to jump out the window and break both his legs in the process. The sacrifice would be worth it, but ultimately futile. Miles sighed and gave an approving nod, signaling for Nick to continue his fool's errand of befriending him.
Nick noticed the approval of Miles and pressed forward, longing to learn more about his new potential friend. He started off with the most basic of questions.
"So, how old are you, for starters?"
"Fourteen."
"Okay, any hobbies?"
"Hating my life and sticking it to authority."
"Uh, alright then. How'd you get that little cut on your face and lose that piece of your ear?"
"A fight. Call 'em my 'battle scars'."
Okay, this was just mundane. Nick realized now that he too was terrible with small talk, and it didn't help matters that it was with someone 23 years his junior. He wanted to move on to deeper questions, but at the same time he didn't want to offend. He decided to throw one out just as a test.
"So, your legal name is Mill—" He caught himself, remembering Miles' disdain for that name. "Er, something other than what you go by, and people always call you a girl, even though you've told me you're a boy. What's up with that whole debacle?"
He saw Miles slink down in his chair slightly. Uh oh, was that too invasive? He hoped he hadn't upset the boy. He heard Miles swallow hard and the boy anxiously gave his response.
"The 'whole debacle' is, well, um—I-I'm transgender."
Nick cocked his eyebrow slightly. He'd heard stories about transgender individuals, but never fully grasped the concept. He knew older mammals could be transgender, but didn't know it happened to children as well. noticed his confusion and continued elaborating.
"So, it's like, basically I was born as a girl, but in my brain I've always been a boy. Since people saw a girl on the outside that's what they believed I was, and for a while, I did too. I get dysphoric—like, uncomfortable in my own skin—when people treat me like I'm still a girl. It's hard, especially when no one believes you and says that it's 'just a phase' and that 'everyone does that a little bit.' It's not the same for every trans person by any means, it's a huge-ass spectrum, but that's how it is for me at least."
The red fox absorbed every bit of the information and began to understand much better. Born a boy in his heart, but with the body of a girl. It sounded confusing, and maybe a little terrifying. He still had more questions, but those could come at a later date.
"How long have you known you were...how do you say it in a sentence? A transgender, or is it something else?"
"Just transgender or trans works fine. I'm a trans guy, just like you're a cis guy...Oh, that means cisgender by the way. It just means you aren't trans, that you were born the same way you identify."
Nick nodded and allowed him to continue.
"I guess I've always kind of known. Of course, I didn't know what it was called, but I never understood why things were made 'for boys' or 'for girls'. I never felt like I belonged in my own skin. I figured out what being trans was when I was twelve I think, and started referring to myself as that. People just thought I was a tomboy, but when puberty started, it just got worse. No matter what I tried, my body kept telling me I wasn't a boy. I tried to talk my caretakers into letting me go on blockers—that's hormones that will stop your puberty and give you time to process—but they said I shouldn't 'alter my body at my age.' It sucks ass, and I wish I could do something about it, but nobody cares. I've got nobody. Hell, I don't even think they like me 'cause of all the trouble I make. It's a nightmare."
Miles dropped his head into his crossed arms laid down on the table and he let out a depressed sigh. Nick couldn't help but sympathize with his tale. Though he'd never know what it's like to be transgender, he certainly understood the depression and loneliness the poor kid felt. His mind flashed images of a young Nicholas P. Wilde, jovial and eager to fulfill his dreams only to have his life come crashing down. That was him years ago, and that was the reality this young boy faced right now. Miles was utterly alone, and Nick knew he had to change that.
The red fox placed a paw on his young peer's shoulder. Nick softly stroked Miles in an attempt to comfort him. He felt the boy tense up at first, but slowly warm up to his touch.
"You have me," the older fox cooed softly, "I care."
Miles shuffled his head over to the side to look at Nick, who gave a warm smile as he continued to embrace the grey fox. Both parties jumped at Miles' phone suddenly going off, which prompted him to look and see what this alarm was.
"Ah crap, I locked my door and made a phoney excuse that I was taking a test until 15 minutes from now. I'll never get back in time, I knew this was a bad idea."
The grey fox shoved his phone in his pocket and stood up to make for the door. Nick stood up as well, confused but understanding why he needed to leave.
"It's been nice talking to you, but I gotta bounce. Just hope I get back in time." He bent down and reached for the muzzle, "C-Can you help me with pu—"
"NO!" Nick stepped in between Miles and that...thing. He composed himself and cleared his throat, "No, that won't be necessary. I'm going to dispose of this dreadful thing. I don't ever want to see you wearing that contraption again, you hear? It's torture. I won't allow such an injustice, especially to a child."
Miles respected Nick's wishes and dropped the idea, though as he made for the door Nick called back.
"Miles, hold on." The younger vulpine turned to face him and listened, "Would you like me to give you a ride? You said you were in a rush, so I thought I'd ask."
the grey fox sighed, "Do I really have that much of a choice?"
"If you don't want to I'll get off your back, but—"
"No no, it's fine. It'll be like deja vu of our first encounter."
Nick nodded and the two exited the apartment together. He led Miles out to a multistory and located his car. He entered the passenger side as Nick started up the vehicle. This car ride was as quiet as the first, though it did not share the same negative emotions. Miles wasn't being taken back to the orphanage against his will, but he would still be back at that awful place. These mixed feelings and Nick's lack of engagement made for an awkward experience.
The car came to a halt a few blocks away from the orphanage considering Miles had no intention of going in the front. He unbuckled his seat belt and went to open the door, but Nick caught his arm lightly to offer a parting word. Miles turned to his direction and awaited his advance. Knowing he had the boy's attention, Nick indulged.
"I know life is pretty crummy for you right now, but know this: I know what it's like to feel like you have the whole world against you. Things'll turn around for ya one day, I'm positive. Remember that if you ever need anything, I'm just a call or text away, m'kay?"
Miles looked fondly at Nick and began to think. "He sounds sincere," he told himself, "Does he really care about me?" He nodded as Nick released his arm and allowed him to exit. He came around the other side and looked back one last time. Nick smiled and gave him a wink as he drove off, leaving Miles on his own. He made his way back up the fire escape and thanked himself he left the window unlocked. He continued to count his blessings as he got through the rest of the day without issue, though the thoughts still lingered in his mind. "Can I trust Nick?"
Miles sat down and pondered. He'd not given anyone the time of day in a few years maybe, let alone trust them. Nick had something about him though, he wasn't like every other adult who saw Miles as a troubled, angsty child or a broken soul who needed to be fixed. His kind sentiments didn't feel like just virtue signaling or half-hearted jesters, but like real empathy and compassion. He felt things he never thought he would, he felt like Nick was really trying to be a good friend to him. Miles kept these thoughts in mind and remembered Nick's words.
"Things'll turn around for ya one day, I'm positive."
Yeah right, like life would just magically have some storybook ending where he'd sing a little song and his dreams would come true. The world treated him like shit, so that's all he came to expect. Set your hopes low and you'll never be disappointed. That's what he told himself, though Miles did feel changes were on the horizon. It was like a gut feeling almost, even with his pessimism he couldn't help but think things were finally about to go his way. The grey fox decided to turn in early after today and thought about this idea. Maybe Nick had something to do with his change of mind, or maybe he was just feeling better today. He let his thoughts be still as he pulled the blanket over his head, drifting off into peaceful slumber.