Author's Note: This story contains some extremes, both good and bad on the emotional scale. All characters will find resolution by the end of the story.
Trigger warning for PTSD and discussions about how to deal with overwhelming emotions. It does get worse before it gets better. Multiple characters are overwhelmed and have emotional breakdowns.
"Don't forget, I've got dinner with the girls tonight. Mylene's got big news she wants to share!" Marinette called back to the kitchen where her sleep-rumpled boyfriend sat at their kitchen table, staring into his coffee mug.
"But Marinette. I had another nightmare last night. I thought you were going to stay at home with me." Adrien pouted at her, only halfway joking, but Marinette still felt the normal guilt rising, just like anytime she took time for herself.
"I still have to go to work. Do you want to call Nino? Alya's coming tonight, so Nino should be free." Her voice lowered as she walked back into the kitchen to kiss the top of his floppy blond mop of hair. "Maybe you should call Dr. Lapointe. He has really helped me. I'm sure he would be willing to work with you as well. Adrien, I'm not going to push, but I can't be the only one you talk to. I don't know what else to do to help you."
She sighed, dropping into the chair next to him. "We don't have time to have this conversation again right now." Reaching over, she snagged his coffee cup, and took a deep swig, shuddering at its sweetness. Gently setting the cup back in front of him, she stroked his hair, scratching gently where his cat ears would be. "But think about it, please?"
He sighed. "I'm fine, Marinette. Don't worry about me." He waved his hand, dismissively. "Go to your little girl's night. I'll still be here when you get home."
Sighing, Marinette stood. "I have to go, or I'll be late. I will check in with you at lunch, alright?" She kissed his temple, and turned to go adding one more thought before she left. "Call Nino. Have fun tonight."
Adrien slumped back into his chair, knowing that he should call Nino, but at the same time, knowing that he wouldn't. If he made plans with Nino, they would have fun, but he would miss time with Marinette. He was already thinking of ways to get her to ditch her friends and just come home to him instead.
The call at lunchtime didn't go as well as he'd hoped. Marinette had called him out on still being in his pajama pants, and encouraged him, again, to call Nino. Having talked to Alya, she knew he had no plans. When Adrien asked once more if she would just come home to him, she sighed. "I've missed the past 3 girls nights. I really need this."
He couldn't help it. "But I miss you when you aren't with me" slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it.
Marinette sighed, and he could picture her, sitting at her desk, shoulders slumped, pinching the bridge of her nose and trying to make the impossible choice. He knew he wasn't being fair to her, that she worked so hard, and she deserved a night off to go out with her friends, but he didn't feel safe, couldn't feel safe or calm when his Ladybug was not with him.
She had been his rock, ever since that day, over 4 years ago, when Hawkmoth was revealed and defeated, and Adrien's world had shattered. She had sat with him at the trial, both as Marinette and Ladybug, defending him and supporting him, being his rock, when the only way that he could prove his lack of complicity was to reveal himself to the world as Chat Noir.
They'd been dating for four years, but best friends for much longer, partners for a decade, and he depended upon her for everything. He couldn't handle losing her.
After they hung up, Marinette sat slumped at her desk. She hated to deny Adrien anything, and years of sacrificing her wishes for his made for a hard habit to break, but she'd promised the girls that she'd be there this time, that she wouldn't let them down, and she intended to keep that promise.
The guilt ate at her over her decision, but she remained strong. She loved her boyfriend, they'd been through so much together, but she'd know the girls just as long, if not longer. They only met for girls night once a month, and she'd missed too many. She desperately needed a night free of responsibilities, completely unable to remember the last time she'd had one.
There wasn't quite the normal spring in her step that evening as she headed out to girl's night, but she was absolutely thrilled to be there to see Mylene's sparkling new engagement ring. They celebrated her upcoming wedding, although there were absolutely no details, as it had only happened over the weekend. They stayed out a little later than she said she would, and she had maybe one too many drinks, but she was sober enough to take the metro back to the apartment she shared with Adrien.
Inserting her key into her front door, Marinette thought about the fact that she felt lighter and she was happier than she had been in a long time, and a smile blossomed across her face. As soon as she stepped inside, her smile slid away. The house was dark, except for a single lamp in the living room. Adrien sat on one end of the couch, looking shattered.
"You're late! I was so worried about you! I am so glad you are alright!" Adrien jumped off the couch, a relieved expression on his face, as he walked over to grip her tightly.
Marinette hugged him back, the weight of responsibility settling across on her shoulders, as she mustered a smile and an apology for her boyfriend. She shared Mylene's happy news, and he seemed to be genuinely happy, telling her to extend Mylene congratulations from both of them.
Agreeing, Marinette yawned hugely, her jaw cracking, and suggested that they head to bed. Adrien nodded, being sure to stay in physical contact with her as they got ready for bed; a light touch at her back, a hand on her arm, a finger, brushing her hair from her face. Marinette pondered his craving for closeness as they slid together beneath the covers, perfectly content to cuddle as Adrien's breathing evened out as he was pulled into sleep, while Marinette lay awake, her mind restless.
They'd been dating for four years, but best friends for much longer, partners for a decade, and he depended upon her for everything. She wasn't sure how much more she could take.