Kate Beckett had been vey happily surprised when Alexis, Castle's daughter had invited her to come along to dinner and a show.
"I don't have enough strong female influences in my life." She had said, only half joking.
Kate adored the teenager. She was very smart and funny and acted like she was about fifteen years older than she actually was and they had developed a friendship while Alexis had volunteered at the station, cataloging old personal evidence in the property lock-up. Kate also took great pleasure in denying Castle any hint of what they talked about on their lunches and occasional dinners. Truth be told, Alexis never said a single thing should have caused him concern. Kate just thought it was a lot of fun to deny him. He had tried to weasel an invitation to join them for dinner before the theater, but Alexis wouldn't hear of it.
"Girls' night." She had said it definitively as she grabbed her purse, took Kate by the hand and pulled her out the door.
"Night." Kate had said before the elevator doors closed in front of her, blocking Castle's view. "We won't be too late."
They had eaten a very nice, if overpriced meal at a new restaurant where Alexis had made reservations, then they walked to the nearby theater to see an Off Broadway play. They took Beckett's car to a very trendy coffee house after the show where they found a table in a quiet corner, away from the unknown singer/songwriter who was trying to be the next big star discovered in a random New York watering hole.
"So how is Owen?" Kate asked her.
"Ok I guess." Alexis looked out the window at a passing crowd of teens.
Kate didn't press her to continue. She had grown used to her taking the time to compose her thoughts.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"How do you know when you're … ready."
Kate took a deep breath before she spoke. She had often thought it was sad that Alexis' mother was not at all helpful to her in situations when a mother/daughter talk should have been the answer. Castle was an excellent father and was very honest and open with her. She knew that he would have been very supportive and helpful as much as he could be, but there were things a girl needed to talk to a woman about. This was definitely one of those times. "Is he pressuring you?"
"No. We've talked about it a few times, but to listen to the other girls at school, I'm the only virgin left on earth."
"I can guarantee you that it is not the case." Kate took her hand. "Believe very little of what you hear." She smiled at her. "As for being 'ready,' don't rush things. If you have real doubts, the time isn't right."
Alexis looked at her hands and seemed to be deciding if she should ask something.
"I was seventeen."
Alexis brought her startlingly green eyes up to meet Kate's chocolate brown ones.
"I won't lie to you. The first time wasn't all that great and I realized soon afterward that he wasn't the guy I thought he was." Kate's gaze never waivered. "I waited a long time after that for the next time. It was with someone I genuinely cared for and it was so much better." She squeezed the girl's hand. "There will only ever be one first time. Just make sure you don't waste it. When you are with someone you truly love, it is always a whole different experience than just sex. It goes beyond the physical pleasure to a spiritual level." She seemed lost in thought for a moment. "Does that help at all?"
"Yes." Alexis smiled softly at her.
"You know you can call me at any time, right." Kate reassured. "About anything."
"That means a lot to me."
"Good. Now why don't we head home. It's getting late." She stood, collecting her purse and grabbing her coat. Alexis stood and hugged her tightly. Kate hugged back, kissing the top of her head and feeling so close to her that she could have been her own daughter. She truly was remarkable.
They drove along, headed back to Castle's building and talking animatedly about the play. Suddenly Kate saw a car jump the median and head straight for them. The driver was weaving erratically, and seemed completely out of control. She quickly swerved to the right, trying to avoid a head-on collision. She was blinded by the headlights as Alexis screamed. The car hit the driver's side full on, just behind the driver's door.
Kate's entire body throbbed and her chest burned with each breath she took. Her head felt two sizes too big for her body as she struggled to open her eyes. She forced her eyes open and immediately regretted it as she was overtaken by a sharp, piercing pain in her head. She moaned and closed them again. She heard someone moving next to her and felt a hand pressing hers. She tried again to see where she was. Slowly, she let the light in and even more slowly the room came into focus. "Castle?" She said in a croaky whisper.
He jumped out of his chair and bent down to kiss her forehead. "I'm right here." He said urgently. He stroked her hair tenderly.
"Where am I?"
"You're in ICU at Saint Michael's."
Kate's mind reeled as the memory of the accident came flooding in. Her breath came in rapid gasps as she searched his face. "Alexis!" She said in a panic. "Where is she?"
"Shhh." He brushed his thumb across her lips. "She's OK. Just a broken arm and a lot of bumps and bruises. She's home with Mother. It's you we've been worried about."
Tears filled her eyes and her body was racked with sobs. He took her hand and pressed it to his lips.
Castle had left the room when the doctor was examining her and she had been dreading and hoping for his return all at the same time. When he walked through the door, he came directly to her side and sat on the edge of the bed. She immediately felt tears well up again.
"It's alright. You have been through a lot. Let it out."
"Castle, I am so sorry." The tears flowed down her cheeks. "I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to speak to me again."
"What are you talking about?" He asked, stroking the back of her hands with his thumbs.
"She could have been killed."
"You both could have been killed, but you weren't, because of you." His voice broke with emotion and this time it was his eyes that were filled with tears. "Every witness said the same thing." He hastily wiped a tear from his cheek. "They said that you swerved the car at the last second to take the full impact on your side instead…" He had to stop speaking to collect himself. "You sacrificed yourself to save my daughter."
He gently lowered himself to hug her and, surprising himself as much as her, he kissed her mouth. He kissed her softly, but with a passion he had not felt before for anyone. He kissed her again, feeling her lips respond to his own.
"I don't know what I would have done if I lost you." He whispered. "Either of you."
"Are you awake?" Martha's voice came from the doorway, drawing Castle and Beckett's attention. The doctors had moved Kate from the ICU hours before and she was now allowed to have regular visitors. Martha walked to the side of the bed and she took Kate's good hand. The other was in a sling, supporting the arm and protecting her broken clavicle. She kissed her forehead and asked, "How you doing, Kiddo?"
"I've been better, Martha." She looked past her to Alexis who was standing inside the doorway, her arm in a large cast and an angry looking cut above her right eye. Her beautiful, milky complexion was marred by ugly purple bruises. She felt tears in her eyes again. She hadn't cried this much in years, but the sight of Alexis, alive and relatively well, was almost more than she could bear. The tears started to flow freely. Alexis said nothing but quickly walked to Kate and hugged her as best she could one-armed. She was crying too, completely lost for words. Kate kissed her forehead, letting her lips linger there. There wasn't a dry eye in the room and Martha rubbed her granddaughter's back as she cried against her injured friend's shoulder.
After they had all had a good cry, Alexis asked her father and her grandmother to leave them alone for a while. She sat on the bed and confessed her worry to Kate. "When I came to, I really thought you were dead." She looked out the window. "You were covered in blood and I couldn't wake you up."
"Hey," Kate brushed shining red hair away from the wound above her eye. "Everything is alright. I'm going to be fine."
"You have bruised lungs, they removed your spleen, your hip was dislocated… not to mention the broken ribs and collar bone." She was exasperated. "Is there anywhere on your body that doesn't hurt?"
"A few places." She paused. "Look, Honey. I would have done anything to keep you safe." She kissed the girl's hand. "I would gladly take more pain and injury if I could spare you yours."
Alexis laid her head on Kate's chest thought about how lucky she was to have Kate Beckett in her life.
Castle stood in the door, hidden slightly by the curtain surrounding her bed. He was deeply touched by Kate's words to his daughter and he felt an uncontrollable need to be close to her. "Are you ladies keeping out of trouble in here?" He asked.
"We were talking about going clubbing." Kate said with a straight face. "We're going to go pick up a couple of good looking men." He smiled weakly.
"Hate to do it, Sweetie, but you need to get home and get some rest. You look a little pale." He kissed her on top of her head. "Grandma is waiting outside."
"OK." She replied unhappily. She turned back to Kate. "I love you." She told her, hugging her again.
Kate was stunned into silence. It took a moment to find her voice. "I love you too."
Castle looked down at Kate. "I'm going to see them home and get Alexis settled in. Do you need anything?" He asked tenderly.
"I'm fine." She smiled at him. "Will I see you tomorrow?"
"Definitely, because I am planning on sleeping here tonight." He brushed a finger across her lips. "I'll be back later."
"Castle, visiting hours are almost over. They won't let you back in."
He kissed her forehead softly. "The doctor is a fan."
When Castle returned to Kate's room, she was talking with her father. He was sitting in the chair next to her bed, holding her hand and listening to the story of the accident. She was able to talk about it without too much emotion until she spoke of Alexis. He knew that she and his daughter had become close, but the depth of their feeling was truly touching. He stood in the doorway, waiting for her to notice him.
"Castle, come in." She waved her good hand in a becconing motion.
He walked over and kissed her forehead, then he held a hand out to her father. "Mr. Beckett, I presume." They shook hands. "I am so glad you were finally able to get home."
"Mr. Castle. I have to thank you for how quickly you found me." He smiled at him. "I must admit that I was beginning to lose hope. It isn't easy to get a flight out of Alaska on short notice."
"I can imagine." Castle nodded. "And it's Rick, please."
"Someone made a private charter available to him." Kate looked at Castle. "Quite a lucky break."
"I'll say."
"Come here." She sounded very serious. He bent down to look her in the eyes. She kissed him, lingering a bit longer than friendship normally should allow. "Thank you."
Castle's heart was pounding in his ears. "You needed your father." He said without his usual demeanor of quiet confidence.
She kissed him again, this time stroking the hair at the back of his neck with her good hand. "Thank you." She said again, just inched from his lips.
"I'd do anything for you." He pressed his forehead against hers. "In spite of all the abuse I take on a daily basis." He smiled broadly.
"Should I go get a cup of coffee or something?" Her father joked.
"No, Sir." Castle straightened up and smiled. " I should leave the two of you to catch up. Don't want to intrude on a family moment."
"Are you kidding?" He rested a hand on his shoulder. "Besides, I love your books. Why the hell did you kill off Derek Storm."
"I had lost my inspiration." Castle confessed. "He was becoming too predictable."
"Your new book is supposed to be pretty good. Haven't had the chance to read it yet." He looked over at his daughter, knowing it was a sore subject. "Honey?" He was alarmed at her pale complexion. "Are you alright?"
"Kate?" Rick was at her side in a second.
"I can hardly keep my eyes open." She confessed. Before she even had the words out Castle was at the nurses' station. He returned with a nurse and doctor in a moment, and moments after that they were prepping to take her back into surgery, fearing for internal bleeding.
"Castle…" She called for him. He took her hand and kissed her urgently. "I'm scared." She confessed.
"Me too." He kissed her hand as they wheeled her into the elevator. Neither broke eye contact until the doors closed.
The surgery waiting room was packed full of people waiting to hear about Kate Beckett's status. Castle sat between Mr Beckett and Alexis, his daughter resting her head on his chest. Esposito sat across from them while Ryan alternately paced the room and fiddled with the remote control. Roy Montgomery sat quietly next to Martha, occasionally making small talk with her.
Mr. Beckett got up to stretch his legs after a while and Castle decided to walk with him.
"So tell me, Rick, How long have you and my daughter been an item?" He asked. "She's told me a lot about you, but she seems to have left that out."
"We're not." He was surprised by the question.
"That's surprising." He took a sip. "The two of you seem… I don't know."
"We make a great team." Castle seemed to be far away for a moment. "Do you know that I hadn't been able to write a word for a year before I met her?" He smiled at a memory of her questioning him about the supposed copy cat killing. "She has continued to… inspire me."
"She is an amazing woman, in spite of me."
"You had a rough time of it for a while, but believe me when I tell you that she has nothing but love and respect for you." Castle sipped his own coffee. "She speaks of you and your late wife often."
The elevator doors opened and the two men were at the doctor's side before he was completely out of the doors.
"She is in recovery and doing fine."
They let out a collective sigh and hugged each other.
"We had to clean up a few vessels that could not hold after the first surgery, but we got them. She'll be fine." The doctor gestured toward the waiting room.
"Oh, thank God." Martha exclaimed, hugging Montgomery.
Kate opened her eyes hours later in the ICU to see Castle sitting next to her bed. "Haven't we done this before?" she asked in a sleepy whisper.
"Hopefully this is the last time." He said with a smile as he held her hand.
"I'll see what I can do." She smiled weakly. "Is my dad still here?"
"He just went to get us some coffee. I'll have him paged." He was already out of his chair.
"No. I don't want to worry hm." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to block the discomfort from her mind. She felt his hands covering hers and she was immediately distracted from it. "Castle, "She looked up at him. "There's something I want to say."
"We can talk about it later."
"You promise?" She asked sleepily, struggling to stay awake.
He leaned in close to her ear. "You can count on it." He kissed her lips. "Now get some rest."
She reached up and ran a finger lightly along his jaw line. "You look terrible." She had never seen him unshaven and so unkempt. It had always amazed her that even when she called him to a crime scene in the middle of the night, he always looked like had had been ready and waiting. Tonight he looked like an unmade bed.
"It's been a rough night." He smiled weakly.
"Can you kiss me again?" She asked, surprised by her boldness.
He didn't reply for a moment and Beckett was afraid she had gone too far. Then he leaned over slowly and touched his mouth to hers, very slowly and tenderly. She didn't have the energy to respond, but she did enjoy the feeling of his mouth on hers. When he was finished, he pressed his forehead to hers and stayed there for a long moment. She brought her good hand up to stroke the hair at the back of his neck. After a moment, he hugged her tightly and held her there until her father returned. He stood.
"Glad to see you awake, Sweetie."
"Thanks Dad."
He kissed her cheek. He looked from one to the other. "I can go for another walk if I am interrupting something." He smiled.
"No, Sir." Castle answered. "I have to get home to check on Alexis anyway." He looked at Beckett. "I'll leave you in very good hands."
"OK."
He kidded her quickly. "See you tomorrow?"
"I'll be here."
The weeks that followed were full of painful physical therapy and long hours in and out of doctors' offices and hospital beds. If it had not been for her dad, and Castle's family, Kate was not sure how she would have gotten though. When she had first been released from the hospital, her dad had insisted on staying with her to help. At first she had protested, but was very happy to have him once she realized how difficult everything was with only one functional arm and a body full of stitches. Castle was also a regular fixture, often bringing his laptop over and working while she napped or read.
"Castle, I'm sure you would be much more comfortable working in your own study." She said after watching him type for several minutes. She had been strangely fascinated by how his words flowed from his mind to the keys. He finished the sentence he had been writing and looked up at her. Somewhere in the past hour he had mussed his hair and it was standing up at odd angles. She thought it was adorable but didn't tell him.
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" He asked with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. His eyes looked troubled.
"I just don't want you to feel like you have to babysit me. I can get around just fine now. The doctor gave me the OK to resume normal activities."
"I thought I was keeping you company." Did he actually sound hurt? "Besides, I seem to write much better over here." He smiled at her. "Must be the view or the lighting."
"That must be it." They had not talked about their kisses in the hospital, nor had they been repeated. Beckett was more than a little disappointed by that and had been on the verge of broaching the topic more than once, but had not quite found the nerve. She chickened out again. "How's the book coming?"
"It is taking shape. I think it is going to be really good." He smiled. "Nikki Heat is kicking ass and taking names."
"What about Rook?"
"He's taking on a lot more depth too."
Kate walked over to the table and picked up his glass of water. She took a sip and placed it back where she got it. "What about Heat and Rook? Do they have any more steamy scenes?"
He looked up at her and held her gaze for a long moment before answering. "Can't keep them apart." He looked at her lips, still wet from her drink of water. "They're made for each other."
"But she's so job- focused and anti-social and he's so… not."
"That's why they're perfect." She sat down next to him and he covered her hand with his. "They balance each other so well." He paused. "Opposites attract… sometimes very strongly."
They very slowly leaned in towards one another and softly kissed. It was a tentative kiss, exploring and testing limits, but soon it escalated into a passionate embrace. Castle stood, pulling her with him, and wrapped his arms around her firmly. She winced slightly and he let go.
"Oh, God, Kate. I'm sorry."
"Shh." She said as she kissed him again. "I'm fine." She wrapped her arms around him, kissing his neck and the sweet spot behind his ear. "Please," she whispered. "Don't back away." She kissed him again, feeling his warm hands on her hips.
"I love you." He kissed her back. "I don't want to hurt you." His lips barley left hers. "Ever."
Kate led him to the couch where they continued kissing and exploring, as long denied passion came to the surface. She straddled his lap, kissing his neck and running her hands down his chest. She whispered against his skin. "Did you mean what you said?"
He was suddenly very serious. He tilted her chin up so they were looking into each other's eyes. "I have loved you for a very long time." He confessed. He slid his hands down her back to her perfectly honed ass. "And I think you are the sexiest woman I have ever known." He gently rolled her down on the couch and began removing her clothes. They made love very gently, holding each other when they were finished.
She stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head. "It's been a long time since I let myself get this close to anyone, Castle." He lifted his head off her chest and looked into her warm brown eyes. "I spent so long distancing myself, that I'm not sure if I know how anymore." Tears welled up in her eyes. " I don't want to screw it up."
"Hey," He sat up and pulled her into a hug. "I'm the screw up here. You're perfect." He looked into her eyes, smiling slightly.
"Hardly."
"Trust me. From where I sit, you are perfect."
She smiled.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" He smiled. "I'm not sure the doctor cleared you for such vigorous physical activity."
"I'm good. What he doesn't know won't hurt him."
"That's my motto." He joked, then changed the subject. The thought of her injuries still made him sick to his stomach. "Wanna come home with me? I promised Alexis pizza and a movie."
"I don't want to intrude on a father daughter evening."
"Are you kidding? She will be thrilled." He touched her cheek. "And I don't want to say good bye." He kissed her.
She looked into his blue eyes and smiled. "Me either." She kissed his hand and pressed it to her cheek. "Let me go get cleaned up."
Castle watched her walk, naked, to the bathroom and felt luckier than he had in recent memory. "God, you are hot!" He hollered after her.
She poked her head out of the bathroom door and blew him a kiss. He jumped up and ran after her. She was just stepping into the shower as he grabbed her and kissed her.
"Isn't she going to be worried about you?"
"She'll be OK." They stepped into the shower and he proceeded to wash her gently, being very careful of her scars. The sutures had been removed weeks ago, but the scars remained very tender. "Oh, Kate…" He said softly as he caressed a long scar where her spleen had once been.
"Rick," she lifted his chin. "I'm OK."
He kissed her tenderly.
"Well it's about time." Martha said with a smile as the elevator doors opened to reveal Castle and Beckett locked in a passionate embrace.
They broke apart but Castle kept his arms around Beckett. "Yes, Mother. We know."
"Off to the theater, Martha?"
"Yes, Dear. You two have a good evening." She winked at them as she passed.
"Sweetie." He called as he opened the door to his apartment.. "Where are you?"
Alexis came bounding down the stairs and threw her arms around Kate in a bear hug. Kate winced but wrapped her arms around the teen in return. "I'm so glad he convinced you to come." Alexis said excitedly.
"Your father is a very persuasive man." Castle winked at her. "Now, what do you say we go pick out a movie while your dad gets us a pizza. I'm starving."
Kate and Alexis were rummaging through the DVD cabinet when Castle came in to the room. "It's going to take forever to get one delivered, so I'm going to go pick it up. Anybody need anything else?"
"Ice Cream." Alexis said without looking away from the movies.
"What about you? Do you need anything." He wrapped his arms around Kate. Alexis looked up, her mouth dropping open as Castle and Beckett kissed.
"Just pizza. I'm starved."
"Wait a minute!" Alexis stood in front of the couple and looked from one to another. "What is this? Are you two a couple?" They looked at each other then back at her and Castle nodded, pulling Kate closer. "Since when?"
"It's a recent development."
"This is fantastic!" She hugged them both.
"Thanks." Kate said with a smile, then she looked at Castle. "But I'm still starving."
"Right." He said, kissing her again and heading for the door. As he walked out, he heard Alexis pumping Kate for details. He smiled and walked to the elevator.
Halfway through the movie, Alexis looked over at her father, who was sitting between her and Kate. Kate had fallen asleep against his chest and his head was resting on hers. Alexis watched him gently stroke her side for a few minutes before she whispered in his ear.
"I'm really happy for you, Dad. She's so good for you."
He smiled at her. "She is good for me"
"Are you in love with her?"
"Head over heels."
"Don't mess it up." She scolded playfully. "Because if you guys break up… I'm going with her."
He pretended to be hurt and wrapped his free arm around his daughter.
Castle felt Beckett stir against him. She sat up and yawned, looking around. "Where is Alexis?" She asked groggily.
"She went to bed a while ago."
"What time is it?"
"Late."
"How late?" She looked at her father's watch. "Castle! Why did you let me sleep so long? I need to get home."
"No you don't." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back to him. "Stay here." He kissed her. "With me." He kissed her again much more convincingly. "Stay." He whispered against her mouth.
"What about Alexis?" She was trying to ignore her burning desire to tear his shirt off.
"She's asleep." He kissed her again and helped her slide into his lap. His hands slid to her ass. "Please stay." He kissed her neck as he slid his hands inside the back of her blouse. He was desperate to feel her skin against his. "I want to wake up next to you."
"Castle…" she said breathlessly.
"Don't make me beg." He whined, pulling her body against his, wanting her as close to him as physically possible. "Come upstairs with me."
Her heart was pounding and a wonderful warmth was filling her core. "God, I want too." She kissed him deeply, pressing her hips into him.
He didn't give her a moment to change her mind. He gently slid her off his lap and helped her to her feet. He kissed her passionately and scooped her up into his arms, carrying her to his bedroom. He slowly removed her clothes, kissing every inch of her that was uncovered.
"You're like a drug to me." She said in a harsh whisper. "I can't get enough of you." She rolled on top of him and kissed his chest as she took him in. She swallowed his moan of pleasure with a deep kiss.
"Tell me you love me." She whispered.
"So much." He barely managed the words.
"Where are you going?" Castle asked sleepily as he reached for Beckett.
Kate leaned out of his grasp and grabbed her bra and blouse from the floor. "I have to go home before your daughter gets up. Not really into the walk of shame."
"Hey." He sat up and rubbed her shoulders lovingly. "There is no walk of shame. You aren't some woman I picked up in a bar." He kissed the back of her neck. "I am in love with you and she has to accept what comes with that." She relaxed back against him. "Stay." He nuzzled her hair. "We'll take her out for breakfast and spend the day together."
"I really would like that."
"Then it's a date?" He kissed her head and ran his hands around her waist, unconsciously allowing his fingertips to caress her scar.
She turned to face him and brushed a finger softly caressed his bottom lip. "Okay." She kissed him. "But let's not make a show of me coming out of your bedroom."
"Deal." He got out of the bed and walked around to face her. He pulled her to her feet and hugged her. "Why don't we walk down the street and get the paper? We can snuggle together on the couch like an old married couple and do the crossword."
She smiled. "How many old married couples do you know who snuggle together and do anything?"
"I have my mother as a relationship role model." He said with a straight face. "I have to rely on literature."
"Literature?" She looked skeptical.
"OK. Viagra commercials."
She laughed out loud, but still seemed uncomfortable.
"What's up?"
She shrugged.
"Here's a quick lesson about parenting a teenager. You will disappoint her and she will get mad at you. If she doesn't, you're not doing it right."
"She's really important to me."
Castle was very emotional when he replied. "You very nearly died to protect her. Her own mother won't even come to visit because she doesn't want to be outside LA when her agent calls. There is no question how important Alexis is to you." He brushed her hair behind her ear. "Now come on. Let's go get that paper."
"Good morning." Alexis smiled as she came into the living room. She walked over and hissed her father on the head, then she hugged Kate. "I'm so glad you stayed here. I was worried about you going home so late last night." Castle winked at Kate with a decided 'I told you so' air.
"Thanks for worrying." She was so relieved. "I hope you don't mind me intruding on your day off."
"Not me." The teen smiled, noticing the way her father seemed to be looking for excuses to keep physical contact with Kate. His hand rested on her shoulder and their feet were intertwined where they rested on the coffee table. She smiled. "I guess I should ask if you guys mind me intruding on your time together."
"Not for a second." Kate replied. "So what should we do today?"
"Nothing too girlie!" Castle said loudly.
Kate and Alexis smiled at one another. Kate winked.
"I'm in trouble." He shook his head.