Chapter 24

4 Years after the Hundred Year War
Royal Palace of Ba Sing Se

Azula was feeling increasingly anxious as she paced back and forth her quarters. Katara was supposed to join her for breakfast, and yet, it was already well past lunchtime and there was no sign of the waterbender. It was starting to drive the princess up the wall with worry and concern.

The previous three days had been... very enjoyable, spending all that time with Katara, but at the same time, she was beginning to feel a little frustrated. Somehow, just talking with Katara no longer felt enough. Azula could no longer deny the blatant truth that she yearned for something more, much more. She even missed sleeping in that awful, cramped tent, because she missed the feeling of Katara's body next to her, thirsting for the casual touch, the heat emanating from Katara, the light pine scent of the waterbender's skin.

Agni, these emotions made her feel like a headless fool. Sometimes she felt like they did not even allow her to function like a rational human being, and she was desperate to do something to rid herself from these feelings. But they were too powerful to be simply buried or ignored. Perhaps the only way to get rid of them was to... express them? The mere thought of opening her heart like that to anyone, even if it was Katara, frightened her to the very core. She knew that Katara would not want to intentionally hurt her... but when it came to confessing having these feelings, the only scenario in which she would not end up hurt was if Katara felt the same for her, and what were the chances of that?

Azula was still pacing around her quarters, feeling anxious and frustrated, when the doors to her room opened and Katara walked in, smiling broadly. "Where were you?" Azula immediately turned on her, snapping, sounding almost accusing. Katara blinked at the unexpected tone, making Azula blanch, feeling embarrassed for sounding so needy and clingy.

"I'm sorry, I was on my way to join you, but one of the palace clerks intercepted me," Katara replied apologetically as she came over to Azula. "I have good news for you... for us both, really. Zuko arrived late last night, and I just spent most of the morning bringing him up to speed with everything that has happened."

"Oh," was all Azula said. Zuko's arrival had been expected, but she still couldn't help but feel a little conflicted. She believed Katara when the waterbender told her that Zuko was desperate for them to get along, and she had reached a point where she wished the same, but would that really be so easy after everything she had done to torment her brother? "How... how did it go?" she asked hesitantly.

"I think it went well," Katara smiled at her. "Zuko was so happy to hear about how we've been getting along. It made him really encouraged that you two will also be able to work things out and move forward by forging a better relationship." Azula merely nodded mutely at that. "He'll stop by for a visit after his meeting with King Kuei," Katara added. "I hope you don't mind. I think it will do you both a lot of good."

"It needs to happen sooner or later," Azula replied. "Very well, I'll talk to Zuko. You're probably right. I need to learn how to get along with my brother."

"I asked him to bring along Ty Lee as well," Katara then said, Azula's brow furrowing at that comment.

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea," the princess ground out reluctantly.

"Why do you say that?" Katara looked at her with concern.

"I... the things I did to Ty Lee," Azula sighed. "They amused me at the time, petty little acts of cruelty on the level of throwing rocks at turtle ducks or beating cute puppies with a stick. Only now that you have made me... aware of certain things... that I recognize my actions for what they were. They make me feel..." she ended the sentence abruptly, placing her hand across her chest, swelling with heavy, unpleasant tightness. "What do you call it when you look upon something you've done and feel only disgust for yourself?" she asked in a trembling voice.

"Self-loathing," Katara spoke softly.

"Self-loathing," Azula repeated. "What a strange feeling to have for the girl who used to believe that she can do no wrong and that everything she touches turns into gold."

"That's why I think it's important for you to meet with Ty Lee," Katara smiled encouragingly. "It'll help you let go of these emotions when she forgives you."

"She shouldn't forgive me," Azula shrugged. "I probably wronged her more than anyone else. Sure, I did a lot of terrible things to you and your friends, but you were my enemies during the war, it was... expected. But Ty Lee... she would have given her life for me if I had only requested it, and in response, I laughed in her face. I treated and abused her the way my father had treated and abused me."

"It was awful, yes, but Ty Lee is the sweetest and most forgiving soul that I have ever come across," Katara said. "I would not have insisted on this meeting if I didn't believe that she would forgive you."

"If... if you're certain," Azula frowned.

"I'm certain," Katara smiled at her. "And I'll stay with you the whole time. You can always turn to me for support when you need it."

"Thanks," Azula offered the other girl a slight smile. She then turned away to face the window. "I know I owe both Zuko and Ty Lee more than just an apology," she said quietly. "Katara, I think I've accepted that I have to change, but... my new life can't just consist of apologies to all those I have wronged. It would take more than a single lifetime to do that, anyway."

"It doesn't have to be only that, Azula. And it won't be," Katara came closer, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder. Azula felt her entire body surging, rejoicing at the touch. "After all, an apology is only worth something if you truly mean it. And it's not that Zuko or Ty Lee expect an instant apology from you. I think that most of all they want to see that you are committed to changing your ways."

"That sounds... reasonable, I guess," Azula shrugged uncertainly.

"I know it is," Katara smiled at her. "Now, how about we sit down at the Pai Sho table, and you crush me a few more times as we wait for Zuko and Ty Lee to arrive? That should make you feel better, yes?"

Azula nodded, chuckling as they sat down at the game board and arranged their tiles before proceeding with the opening. Azula's focus was all over the place because of the impending visit from her brother, and she found it very hard to concentrate on what she was doing, almost allowing Katara to score a surprise victory. It was only late in the endgame that Azula managed to eke out a narrow victory, one that left the waterbender sighing in disbelief, Katara already having started premature celebrations of scoring her first victory.

They were deep into their third game when they finally heard a knock on the doors. It made Azula nervously leap to her feet, and she ended up scattering the Pai Sho tiles all over the floor. Sensing Azula's nervousness, Katara reached out to briefly squeeze her hand, removing it just before Zuko entered the room, dressed in full Fire Lord ceremonial garb and followed by a girl wearing the distinct armor of the Kyoshi Warriors. Said girl stayed well behind Zuko as he approached them, staring everywhere except at Azula, but the princess would recognize Ty Lee's large and expressive eyes anywhere.

"Sister," Zuko smiled at Azula, having walked up to her and Katara. He appeared just as nervous as Azula herself felt, and that helped to set her nerves at ease. She couldn't help but smile a little, realizing that even while wearing the robes of the Fire Lord, her brother would always remain the same awkward turtle duck he had always been.

"Brother," Azula nodded at him. "Ty Lee," she tried to address the girl behind Zuko's back, Ty Lee nodding mutely and reluctantly back at her.

"So..." Zuko began, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. Agni, he was terrible at this, but at least it really helped to make Azula feel more relaxed. "How are you doing?"

"Good... good," Azula replied slowly. "You know, despite being placed under house arrest. I don't think either of us truly understood the consequences my plan would have," she nodded at Katara. "I certainly didn't imagine that we would get into the kind of mess that would require you to drop everything and come to Ba Sing Se. So… sorry about that, I guess? I know you must have been pretty busy back at the capital."

Zuko's eyes widened slightly at her words. He must have felt a little surprised to hear her apologizing. Even Ty Lee was suddenly watching her with increased interest. "I think I'm actually grateful for the break," Zuko smiled at her. "Things were getting a little stale back at Caldera." There was a small pause in their conversation, during which Zuko looked her over with an examining stare. "You're looking so much better, sister," he remarked, sounding relieved. "When you departed with Katara on that boat, you looked so pale and gaunt, I was... worried about you. And just look at you now..."

"It must be all that fresh air I've been getting lately," Azula replied. She shot a brief smile at Katara. "Oh, and let's not forget Katara's cooking. She always made sure that we were both well fed." Katara blushed lightly from her words, while Zuko and Ty Lee exchanged slightly surprised glances. What are they surprised about now? Azula wondered. I guess it's because I complimented Katara. I usually don't have a kind word for anyone.

"How was your audience with the king, Zuko?" Katara asked, using the small break in conversation.

"Mostly just making small talk and exchanging pleasantries," Zuko shrugged. "As I told you before, we are still collecting all the information from our people in Ba Sing Se, so at the moment I didn't have anything concrete to hit King Kuei with. Still... I did make him aware of the political ramifications if either of you were convicted of something. I believe that he understood perfectly the point I was making, so you shouldn't be worried about anything. It's just a matter of time until this is all wrapped up."

"I'm glad to hear that, Zuko," Katara smiled at the Fire Lord. Azula felt something tightening at the pit of her stomach, a brief flare of possessiveness. Was it jealousy she was experiencing? "I knew that you would be able to sort everything out with King Kuei."

"The palace officials are desperate to quash Long Feng's involvement, or even his mere presence at the palace," Azula added, having swallowed that little pang of jealousy. Katara had firmly denied being interested in her brother and Azula could do nothing but hope that she hadn't been lied to. "Zuko, if your people have any proof of Long Feng having pulled the strings in this, you can surely use that information to cut a deal with King Kuei."

Zuko grinned at her. "I knew you'd spot that angle immediately," he remarked, amusement in his eyes. "I'm not even surprised. I learned most of these things from you when you were just ten or eleven."

"That was a long time ago," Azula said, wincing slightly. She had no desire to recall that period of their shared past, at least not now.

"Yes, I don't particularly want to remember that either," Zuko remarked, perceptively guessing her trail of thoughts. "Let's not talk about the past. But I definitely feel confident about you both being cleared of all charges soon, so I think we can safely discuss the future."

"What do you mean?" Azula asked, a little nervously. Was there perhaps a change of plans and there was yet another Fire Nation prison in her future?

"I can see that you are doing a lot better, sister, but I still expect you to travel to the North Pole and spend time there, before the healers reassure me that you can be safely reintegrated into society," Zuko said, his voice kind and firm. Agni, he was actually speaking at her from the position of authority, and worst of all... it was working, as Azula could only nod weakly. "Katara has set you on a solid path to recovery, sister. I think we can safely hand you over to the Northern healers who are even more specialized to assist with this sort of... issue."

"I'm not going anywhere, Azula," Katara smiled at her, reassuring the princess just in time. The very thought of being stranded in the North, separated from Katara, was quickly sending her towards another panic attack, blood pressure thrumming in her temples, cold sweat forming on her back. "I'll be with you the entire time of your stay in the North."

Zuko turned to face Katara, looking surprised. "You've done so much already, Katara," he spoke softly. "I can't in all honesty ask so much more of you."

"Zuko, but I'm not doing this for you," Katara shook her head resolutely. "Well... partly I am, I suppose," she admitted. "I know how important it is for you to be properly reunited with your sister. But I'm doing this for myself, because this is something that I find so much joy and fulfillment in. And I'm doing this for Azula because she deserves to be helped."

Azula was aware that her cheeks were burning at Katara's words, and the waterbender herself was blushing slightly. Fortunately, Zuko did not seem aware of this as he continued. "Can you just imagine what Aang and Sokka will say about this once they find out?" Zuko winced as he asked the question.

"Well, I know what Aang wants me to do, but I believe that I have already made myself quite clear that I have no interest in following him around any longer," Katara shrugged. "I don't have time to watch his destiny unfold, I have my own destiny to tend to. And I honestly don't know why Sokka is so firmly convinced that I should stick with Aang. Seriously, I'm sick and tired of his attempts to get me and Aang back together. It's not happening."

"I can see that... and I'm sure they'll take the news of your departure to the North Pole well," Zuko gulped, rolling his eyes. Azula wasn't really listening to him at this point. Her heart was singing with joy at spending so much time together with Katara. She didn't even care if it was at the North Pole, which was probably a miserable and freezing icy pit. That might mean there could be opportunities to cuddle up close with the waterbender for warmth... her mind began to wander, supplying her with a lot of interesting visuals that began to warm her cheeks, and more than just her cheeks, finally snapping out of her daydreaming, realizing that she had completely lost the thread of their conversation.

"So, what do you think, Ty Lee?" Azula heard Katara ask. "You've been very quiet thus far."

Before answering, Ty Lee came to stand at Zuko's side. Azula had to admit, she looked very good in her full Kyoshi Warrior garb. "I am... very surprised to see this change in you, Azula," Ty Lee said, staring firmly at the princess. "Your aura is so different from how I remember it, bright red and burning so fiercely and ferociously. Now it's… almost muted, placid blue, sad, thoughtful and introspective."

Azula resisted the urge to scowl and scoff at Ty Lee's statement. She didn't believe in auras and thought it was all complete nonsense. But it was clear that Ty Lee could perceive something about the emotional state of other people, and perhaps simply described what she felt by using this abstract concept of auras. After all, she was fairly on point when describing Azula's current emotional state.

"Thanks... I guess," she ventured uncertainly, looking at Ty Lee. The other girl was watching her expectantly. Was she waiting for that apology? Azula couldn't deny that she deserved one, but it was still so hard to broach the issue. "Look, I know I have been-..." she began hesitantly, but Ty Lee interrupted her by raising her hand.

"Azula, I don't need an apology," Ty Lee said, shaking her head firmly. "All I really want to see is that you have changed. And I think you have. I really hope you will continue on this path. And I also hope that you know how much you owe Katara for everything she's done. Let me make one thing clear to you, Azula. If you were to ever hurt Katara, I'm going to track you down and then I'm going to annihilate you," Ty Lee added with the fiercest of glares.

Azula didn't fear Ty Lee, not really, but still, she couldn't help but to admire the girl's courage, even if her concerns were completely misplaced. Hurting Katara was absolutely out of the question, after all. "You have truly come into your own as a Kyoshi Warrior, haven't you, Ty Lee?" Azula instead asked, smiling. "I think this confidence suits you so well."

"It really does," Zuko smiled as he turned to briefly face his trusted bodyguard.

"Th-thank you... both of you," Ty Lee suddenly appeared very flustered.

"Well!" Katara exclaimed, a little forcefully, after the conversation had halted for a while again. "I think this was a lovely little reunion, wasn't it? Zuko, if you and Ty Lee could stay a little longer, perhaps we should sit down?"

"Zuko, would you care for a game of Pai Sho?" Azula offered with a smile. "I've been helping Katara improve her game, but she's not quite at our level yet. Even if she has been making progress," she smiled at the waterbender.

"I would love that, Azula," Zuko grinned as he sat down at the Pai Sho board opposite to his sister, Ty Lee and Katara taking up seats nearby. "And yes, we can stay for an hour or two. And tomorrow we should arrange for a lengthier visit. Sadly, I don't think we can remove your house arrest by tomorrow."

"Is there anything special about tomorrow?" Katara wondered.

"Oh... of course, you don't know," Zuko replied. "It's Azula's nineteenth birthday."

"It is?" Azula blinked. "Well, I'm glad you remembered, because I had completely forgotten myself..."

"Oh… tomorrow is Azula's birthday?" Katara remarked, her eyes lighting up immediately, as if she had instantly gone into a planning mode. "We're definitely going to throw a little party in your quarters, Azula. I'll make sure there's cake and everything!"

"I don't suppose I can talk you out of making a big fuss about it," Azula sighed.

"There's no way I'm not making a big deal out of it," Katara shook her head resolutely. "It's your first birthday since we're no longer enemies. I'm going to make sure that we celebrate it properly, you can be sure about that."

"Well... if you must," Azula conceded. Deep inside, however, she already could not wait for tomorrow.