Chapter 26
4 Years after the Hundred Year War
Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se
Katara slowly rose from the floor in Azula's quarters, feeling absolutely stunned and confused by what had just taken place. She had expected many different ways in which Azula might react, but she hadn't expected something quite as explosive as what had just happened. Azula had kissed her, and… it had been marvelous.
It wasn't that Katara was a complete novice when it came to kissing. She had certainly been kissed by a fair share of boys, though it had been a little while since her last serious kiss. It had actually come during the time when she was still technically dating Aang, but it hadn't been a kiss with Aang. No, at some point she had confessed to Zuko that she planned on leaving Aang, breaking down in tears over her decision, while Zuko had comforted her and then the kiss between them had sort of… happened. Nothing else had come of it, but it had made her wonder if there could eventually be something more serious between her and the young Fire Lord. But that was before she had discovered the hidden marvel that was Azula.
Zuko was probably the best from all the boys she had kissed, while Aang was arguably the worst. For some reason, Aang's idea of kissing was to try and suck Katara's lips right off her face. Was it something the monks taught at the Air Temples? Katara had no idea, and she had tried her best to provide some gentle instruction, but only with limited success.
But now she had Azula's kiss to compare to the others, and they all fell by the wayside. Azula's mouth had felt... indescribable. There was a little bit of everything, fierce and possessive strength, scorching hot passion and yet it was all tempered by certain delicate sensitivity. The amount of emotions from that one lengthy kiss had left her completely dazed and lightheaded, and not just because for a while she had almost forgotten to breathe. She had also failed to realize in time that Azula had just fled from her quarters, which was something she was definitely not supposed to be doing.
Cursing, Katara leapt to her feet, realizing that the aftermath of their passionate kiss could prove absolutely disastrous. Azula had escaped from her house arrest, and with that, also landed Katara in hot water because she had been granted full responsibility over the princess. This could have dire consequences for them both and it could severely impact the deal that Zuko was able to cut with King Kuei, unless… unless Katara could track Azula down quickly and talk her into returning to the palace before too many had noticed her absence.
Buoyed by urgency, Katara ran out of the princess' quarters, turning towards the nearest stairway. She immediately noticed the missing window down a flight of stairs, Azula having blown it off its hinges, then levitating to the ground by using her fire jets. Spirits, this is bad... this is really bad! I need to find her quickly, but how? Katara thought desperately, quickly coming up with an answer. I need to have eyes up in the air, I need flight... Appa is in the courtyard. I need to steal... borrow Appa for a brief while. She knew full well that Aang would be rightfully upset about her taking Appa without permission, but right now, Katara didn't care about upsetting Aang, not when Azula had escaped from the palace while in a highly emotional and volatile state.
Fortunately, Appa seemed rather happy to respond to her command. The sky bison took flight at her request, and together they began to roam the skies of the massive capital. Katara was aware that finding a single person in this swarming mass of humanity would be more challenging than finding the proverbial needle in a haystack, so she instead put herself in Azula's place and tried to imagine where the princess might have fled to. The approach didn't feel all that helpful when at least a couple of hours later, Katara was still aimlessly flying around Ba Sing Se without any clue as to Azula's whereabouts.
Darkness had fallen by now, and with Appa starting to get a little ornery, Katara was starting to seriously consider returning to the palace to turn to Zuko for assistance. By now, it seemed unlikely that Azula's escape could be swept under the rug and the entire mess was about to explode in their faces. She was starting to feel like a complete idiot, an unreliable failure who had sabotaged Azula's chances of healing and recovery, and becoming successfully reintegrated into society, all because Katara had failed to get her crush on the princess under any semblance of control. If she could not somehow salvage the situation, Katara was not sure if she could ever again look Zuko in the eyes.
She had just tugged on Appa's reins to turn him back in the direction of the royal palace, when out of the corner of her eye, Katara spotted a brief flash of bright light, almost like a lightning strike. However, the sky was completely clear, so… that could only mean one thing. Locating Azula was obviously a fortunate turn of events, but to have the princess throwing her lightning around was potentially disastrous. With her heart thundering in her chest, Katara forced Appa to pull around and then made the sky bison speed towards where she had spotted the discharge of lightning, somewhere high up on the inner wall.
Katara landed Appa next to a large and imposing guard tower on the inner wall, finding a group of Earth Kingdom soldiers milling uncertainly around the base of the tower, one of them appearing slightly singed, but at least the man did not seem to be seriously injured. They were casting nervous glances towards the entrance into the tower, paying no notice to Katara's arrival, but they sprang to action when the waterbender ran past them, heading straight for the tower's front gate.
"Wait!" one of the soldiers called out to her. "You can't go in there! It's too dangerous!"
"Yeah!" another soldier piped up worriedly. "Some crazy Fire Nation girl showed up and kicked us out of our own tower! Even hurled lightning bolts at us!"
"I know…" Katara let out a deep sigh. "I can resolve this whole thing peacefully if you'd just let me. I know that girl, she's not really crazy. She's just… frightened."
"She attacked us because she's… frightened?" one of the soldiers blinked, sounding surprised.
"I'm not sure we should let this girl anywhere near that Fire Nation maniac," another one shook his head, looking suspicious. "They're probably in cahoots!"
"Are you a complete dolt?" his colleague slapped the suspicious soldier across the back of his head. "That there is Master Katara, hero of the Hundred Years War and a friend to the Avatar himself!"
"Now you're pulling my leg," the suspicious soldier was having none of it.
"How about this for a proof?" his colleague turned the stubborn soldier towards Appa. "That's the Avatar's sky bison. Or do you know of anyone else flying around on one?" The suspicious soldier finally relented. "Sorry about that, Master Katara," the other soldier gave her an apologetic smile. "My daughter is a great fan of yours. She has all the action figures and a big poster on her bedroom wall." Some of the other soldiers, many of them apparently parents of young daughters, were smiling as they nodded their heads along.
"Thank you!" Katara smiled brightly, then quickly pointing towards the entrance into the tower. "So, could I perhaps take care of your little problem?" she asked, deciding to lean a bit on her fame and influence, just for good measure. "I'll make sure that the Earth King hears only good things about your diligence and cooperation." At that, the soldiers appeared happy to give her permission, and Katara all but ran into the tower, quickly locating the stairway that led further up, but when she was about halfway up the stairs, Katara discovered that Azula had used her bending to blow up the stairs behind her to make sure that the soldiers could not follow her.
Katara had just enough water with her to bend a little bridge of ice connecting the two remaining sections of the stairway, quickly making her way across and then running up the remaining stretch of the stairs, short of breath by the time she emerged at the top of the tower. Breathing deeply, standing with her hands placed squarely on her knees, Katara gingerly looked around, spotting Azula as she sat with her feet swung over to the other side of the railing.
"Azula?" Katara called out softly as she began to approach. "Azula, talk to me, please," she implored, slowly walking up to the other girl.
"I don't know what to say," Azula muttered quietly. "I don't know how to deal with this..."
"I'm not exactly incredibly experienced myself," Katara offered soothingly. "It's all pretty new for me as well. All I know is that I've never felt pulled to someone as strongly as I feel right now," she confessed.
"You... haven't?" Azula sounded surprised as she turned her head to look at Katara.
"No, not really," Katara shook her head, thinking back on all of her past crushes. That time she had fallen for Jet had probably been the hardest crush, but she had been very young and impressionable back then. Zuko probably had the potential to be a very serious crush, but it hadn't been given a proper chance to flourish. Haru was barely a little more than a passing attraction, and then there was Aang. She had felt incredibly protective of the young Avatar, but it hadn't translated into a passionate relationship. If anything, she had largely felt like the older sister even when they were still dating. Nothing truly compared to how she felt right now. "What I feel is something very powerful, and I won't deny that it really scares me. If... if you feel the same way, then I think you'd be scared too," she spoke softly.
"I'm terrified," Azula ground out. "How do you... open yourself like that to another person? I could think of hundred ways to destroy someone with this knowledge of their weakness."
"If you truly want something... or someone, then I guess it's just a risk you have to take," Katara replied. "Would it help if I told you what frightens me the most?" Azula nodded mutely at her. "What I fear the most is that if... if we were to get together, perhaps it might adversely affect your healing and recovery. It's just another layer of messy emotions right on top of everything you're dealing with already."
"What? That's crazy, Katara!" Azula exclaimed, jumping down from the railing to face the waterbender. "I need you if I'm to get better! You're the key!"
"Well... that's kind of my point, Azula," Katara let out a deep sigh. Just as she had suspected, Azula's feelings for her and the progress to heal and recover mentally were by now intrinsically linked with each other. "It may not be such a good thing that I am the key to you getting better. What if something happened to me, or I needed to be elsewhere for a longer period of time? It's important that you want to better yourself because it's the right thing to do and because it's beneficial for you, not because of... well, me."
"I'm not sure I understand," Azula appeared slightly confused. "You said that you'll be there for me, but now you're saying that I should still buy into everything you told me even if you were to leave and break your word? That makes no sense."
Katara sighed in frustration, running her fingers through her chocolate curls. "No, that's not how I meant it... and I don't want to leave you, Azula. And I won't, for as long as I can help it," she spoke earnestly. "Can you tell me what you fear the most, Azula?"
The princess lowered her gaze, appearing rueful. "Too many things to count," she shrugged. "I fear reverting back to my old self and doing something that would really hurt you." Katara made a move to reach out to Azula, but the princess raised a hand to stop her, not done speaking. "But I think what I fear the most is... if we were to get together, your friends and your family would disapprove. It would hurt you very deeply, and... I don't want to be the cause of your pain, Katara."
Katara's eyes widened as she listened to Azula's words, absolutely astonished at what she was hearing. Azula was showing some rather advanced level of empathy, and it just made her fall more and more madly in love with this amazing yet tormented young woman. "You remembered what that fortune teller told me?" she asked, Azula nodding at her. "Azula, I find it incredibly touching that you would consider it, and you are right, if that were to happen, I would be hurt," Katara began to explain. "But if my friends or my family could not accept who I chose to be with, well... I am not sure they would be deserving of me. I would do my utmost to convince them to support our relationship, but if they stubbornly refused, then... well, then perhaps it might be time to sever that bond."
"I... I can't believe that you would be willing to sacrifice your friendships, your family ties, for my sake," Azula shook her head, looking shocked. "It sounds absolutely insane, Katara."
"It does, doesn't it?" Katara had to laugh at Azula's words. "But I would not be doing it just for you, Azula. I have come to realize something in the wake of my breakup with Aang. I have spent so much of my time and efforts to help others that I have earned the right to pursue what I want. I deserve to be happy. And my friends and family should respect that. It's not too much to ask, is it?"
"Of course it isn't," Azula smiled at her. "So... what are you saying, Katara?"
"I... guess what I'm saying is that I would like for us to throw caution to the wind and have a go at this thing," Katara said, blushing deeply. "I can't just imagine walking away from this and try to bury what I feel. I don't think I can do that. Could you?"
"I couldn't..." Azula sighed. She made a cautious step towards Katara. "So, does this make us…?"
"Yes, I think it does," Katara smiled, slowly approaching her princess. "It makes us girlfriends," she added with a delighted, relieved smile, intent on sweeping Azula up into her arms, but at that very moment, a large shadow passed right above them, startling the two girls. Moments later, someone landed atop of the tower right next to them, Avatar Aang arriving on his glider, giving them both a puzzled stare.
"So... there you are," Aang stated blankly, as if he was unsure of what was going on.
"Yes, Aang... here we are," Katara ground out, while internally she was screaming in frustration about the ruined moment between herself and the princess. "What are you doing here?" she asked.
"Oh, nothing much... just flying around in panic, looking for my sky bison and worrying that he might be stolen again," Aang shrugged. "I mean... I don't remember giving anyone permission to borrow Appa, do you?"
Katara winced at the accusatory tone, but she couldn't deny that she deserved it. When Appa had been stolen by the sandbenders, Aang had been inconsolable for weeks, and now Katara had triggered flashbacks of that old trauma. "I'm sorry," she offered meekly. "I didn't mean to take Appa, but I was in a hurry..."
"You were in a hurry because Azula escaped the palace, didn't she?" Aang pointed accusingly at Azula.
"No! I mean... kind of, but... look, it's all been sorted out, right?" Katara managed. "There was a misunderstanding, but we cleared it all up."
"I don't think so," Aang shook his head. "I don't believe you have her under control at all," he nodded at Azula again. "You can't control someone like Azula."
"Are you just going to talk about me as if I wasn't present?" Azula wondered, looking like she was starting to get ticked off. Katara knew she had to diffuse the situation quickly.
"Aang, I'm not trying to control Azula, I'm trying to help her," she spoke quickly. "Yes, she did escape the palace, but honestly, it was my fault." Azula gave her a long stare at that, full of surprise. "I pushed her too hard to confront something she wasn't yet ready to confront, and she had a little freak out, alright? This sort of thing happens now and then when dealing with these issues."
"Hmm, is that really all there was to it?" Aang wasn't buying it, at least not completely. "It still seems like King Kuei should know about this."
"Why, so that he can throw Azula in some deep and dark dungeon?" Katara asked, trying her best not to sound as irate as she felt. "That's not going to help Azula! It's only going to make things a lot worse. Aang, please... if you respect me, and our friendship, then I would ask that you support what I'm trying to do here. It's really important to me, and I think the outcome will be good for everyone."
"Well... alright," Aang finally relented, Katara letting out a big sigh of relief. "But I better get us back to the palace quickly before the news spread. Let me call Appa," he said, blowing on the bison whistle and soon enough, the loyal sky bison appeared hovering next to the platform atop of the guard tower.
Soon afterwards, they were on their way back to the palace, Aang at the reins, Azula and Katara on Appa's back. As they were flying, Azula scooted slightly closer to Katara, reaching into her robes to retrieve a package wrapped in red paper. "I may have fled the palace in panic, but once I was outside, I wanted to get something for you," Azula whispered to her. "You gave me the most amazing birthday gift, and I wanted to give you something in return," she said, handing the package over to Katara. From its weight, Katara was fairly certain that it was a book.
"You didn't have to," Katara smiled at her... girlfriend. Spirits, it was so amazing to think of Azula as her girlfriend. She wanted to shout it to the entire world, but... no, she couldn't, not just yet.
"I wanted to, though," Azula insisted. "But don't open it here. Save it for until you get back to your quarters. And tell me what you thought about it tomorrow morning, alright?"
"Alright, it's a deal," Katara smiled at the blushing princess. "Thank you, Azula."
Once Katara was back in her room at the palace, she barely even made it to the bed, shedding the wrapping paper of her gift as she walked, retrieving the beautiful book inside, bound in red leather, its title and author embroidered with golden thread. It was 'Ocean and Moon' by Polomark. Katara vaguely remembered Iroh telling her something about this man. He had been a famous Fire Nation explorer and writer from time before the Hundred Years War. He had visited both the Northern and Southern Water Tribes, learning their ways and traditions, compiling them into a book that would become the ultimate Fire Nation source of knowledge regarding the Water Tribes.
And now Azula had gifted a copy of it to her, perhaps as a way to show that someone from the Fire Nation could treat the ways of her people with dignity and respect? Katara was not completely certain of Azula's motives for choosing this particular book for her, but she was absolutely fascinated to dig in and learn how someone from the Fire Nation would view the ways of her people. It was particularly interesting for Katara because of their plans to take Azula to the North Pole. Perhaps that was another reason why Azula was giving her this book, so that Katara would understand how Azula would perceive the North and its people? In any case, she thought the gift was very thoughtful.
Having flipped the book open to examine the first pages, Katara froze, having stumbled on a personal inscription that Azula had left for her, also in the shape of a poem. Katara found it particularly touching and beautiful as she read it.
Once I wanted to be the greatest
No wind or waterfall could stall me
And then came the rush of the flood
Stars at night turned deep to dust
The poem had been signed by 'Your Princess'. Having read it, Katara could no longer maintain her composure, emotions of the long day overwhelming her and she fell back into the soft pillows, tears bursting from her eyes.
Maybe what she had proposed to Azula was crazy, maybe it would lead only to a disaster, and maybe she shouldn't have done any of it. But damn, if she wasn't completely motivated to fight tooth and nail for their relationship to succeed against all the odds stacked against them.
A/N: Azula's poem uses lyrics of Cat Power's song 'The Greatest'. It's one of my favorite songs, and one I listened to extensively while writing this story.