Metal and Roses.
Cirice.
Stand up so you never show them how much it hurts was the mantra my older brother taught me. It was ironic that I had my back against the wall, my eyes to the sky, and my legs useless below me.
Rain dried on me, blood too. My earphones blasting Master of Puppets by Metallica. I wasn't hurt, but… whoever was on the receiving end of my scalpels didn't come back from it. I slumped and closed my eyes.
"Ah hell…" I said, "Ah fuck…" I tried to keep the bile down, but then it churned and made its introduction. The vomit steamed then cooled by the rain. I didn't mean to kill the muggers. It just… happened. It wasn't the fact that my route was interrupted. I got to my feet, wiping the vomit off my lips, looking back down at the bodies.
"Shit…" I mumbled, the person I was protecting looked up at me.
"Are… are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm fine, just go. It's safe now," I said, walking away. My eyes staring at the lights of the city, the bustling nightlife was great cover as I vanished, using the flecks of iron in my coat to camouflage myself. I had to move fast before the heroes showed up. I was neither hero nor villain. But I wouldn't count myself as a vigilante either.
Normally my eyes were a rusted brown color, but when I used my quirk they became a striking red and black. I walked among the people, trying to make it back to my home without any trouble. My six-foot three frame was out of place in a city like this, but as long as nobody needed to notice I was fine.
I just needed to go home. Everything was buzzing around me, the lights, the people, all of them celebrating the new year. To ring it in… I'd wait at the station. Always. Every new year. The station to Mustafu.
Waiting for someone I couldn't stop thinking about. Her dazzling blue eyes, her sly smile, the fact she used to loom over me but still be so kind to me. She liked oversized sweaters and shirts, and metal music. Everything about her was special to me… her short and soft dark purple hair, the way she teases me and my friends… I loved her.
And I never got to tell her. My eyes watched the crowd of people, still waiting. Still watching, the stationmaster had a cat and she'd come see me. A Russian Blue kitty. She sauntered over and looked up at me.
"Mow." she greeted, making me kneel.
"Hey sweetie! Sorry, I didn't bring any fishies with me,"
"Mowwwww!" The cat whined.
"I know, I know, Sorikami-san is so mean!" I cooed, etting her. The kitty, which everyone called Mow Mow because of how she'd meow, rolled on her back and she was looking up at me.
"No, Mow Mow, I know what you're doing, you are trying to guilt me into petting you so I could get scratched the fuck out of." I sighed, "I'll bring you a double set of mackerel tomorrow to make u for it,"
"Mowwwwwww." She meowed.
"Yeah yeah, I have no life, I get it…" I huffed, standing back up, and just about to vanish when… I heard high heels clicking, and a certain familiar voice called to me.
"Well well, look who it is! It's been a long time since I've seen you!" A warm, firm voice, still soft. I whirled around and there she was. The woman I've waited for… so much different from usual. An appreciable difference. Longer hair, a more messy rain of locks that I didn't know I'd like. But… It looked great with her. She wore heels with a skirt and a blouse with… thigh highs. She also wore her military jacket over the blouse and suit jacket she wore, with her glasses still being the shitty red ones, ones I called her Kamina Shades.
She smiled and the feeling of warmth in my chest spread to my face, "I… Uh… you're taller."
"It's the heels, Tenkara. So how have you been since you dropped out?" she asked, marching up to me, "Do ya drink, I know a bar around here with one helluva drink selection."
"Wait, you were here before?! And you didn't tell me?! Also no," I answered, "If I didn't know any better, I'd assume that you were trying to seduce me there,"
Pftt! You're totally too serious to be my type! I mean, now. Back in high school I woulda stripped down and given ya a little… puff puff treatment."
"What! I was geeky!" I yelled, "What the fuck were you thinking?" I asked.
"Well, you're still really cute~!" she reasoned, "You've been smiling and blushing so awkwardly! Now come on!" she grabbed my hand, and it was so gentle and I didn't know what to do or say. The city blurred by us as we ran along to the bar. It was a nice little hole in the wall. Low lighting, not much dirt anywhere, it felt oddly cozy. Warmed by a space heater. Pictures lined the walls, Venezia, Paris, Rome, all kinds of cities.
"Oh! Happy New Year, Miss Kayama!" The bartender greeted, "Who's the guy with you?"
"An old friend from high school, just hit me with my usual," she said, the blazing smile on her face striking me dumb.
The bartender nodded, turning to get the drink ready. He looked back at me. He was reasonably young and his arms had spigots in them.
"How about you, sir?" he asked.
"Cola," I answered, "One of us has gotta be sober by the end of the night,"
"Pfft! That's childish," Nemuri chuckled, "What are ya, five?"
"No, just making sure one of us isn't drunk when you're drunk," I sighed, "Besides, you know me. I don't drink or smoke. It's not good for you,"
"Yes Daaadddd." She huffed, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, you're more serious than Shouta sometimes, but… the reason why I came back is…" she looked a little shy now. Her eyes closed as I heard a muttering coaching coming from her.
"Come on Nemuri, he's right here! Just tell him!" She muttered, opening her eyes again, "Look, Tenkara, I… I miss you, all those nights you'd shadow me home just in case, all those times you'd be by my side no matter what… I wanna know…" she gave me a harsh glare.
"Why'd you leave UA?" she asked.
I sighed and drank some of my cola. "Listen, hunting the bastard who killed my brother and then killing him wasn't easy. In fact, they threw me into Tartarus." Nemuri gasped a little, her blue eyes widening.
"I got out being a model prisoner, I always have nightmares of the men I killed to get to him," I mumbled, "Their blood never goes away, nothing I do or say would make me wanna go back to Mustafu, even if you and Hizashi and Shouta… even… him came to get me outta here,"
"I deserve it. What was important was that a dangerous assassin was behind bars! What was important was the fact that the man who died never killed my brother!" I took a breath, "Because if news of that got out… then vigilante justice would rise again,"
Nemuri grabbed my hand, "Tenkara…"
"So… I did what I always did best… vanish. Seeing my friends be successful heroes, visiting Shira and Haneru's graves every holiday and birthday. It's a lonely life, but it's mine, so… what's wrong with sharing a drink with my friend? Even if I've never seen you here before," I said, looking at the watch on my wrist.
"We got an hour before New Year's Day, I know a nice roof where we can watch the fireworks,"
"Wait… do you have a house?" she asked.
"What, no! Why would I have one? Anywhere I Roam is the song I live by!" I snorted, Glaring at her.
"Isn't it Wherever I May Roam?"
"Look, you get what I mean! I just live in a homeless encampment and help them out. I'm at rock bottom and I'm happy to be there!" I huffed.
"No, you're not, Tenkara, I know that look in your eyes." Nemuri said, grabbing my hand and squeezing it, "You always get really intense about things that you want, and you always resist help when you know you need it,"
I sighed and just closed my eyes, "Look, Nemuri, I don't need your help, I dug this grave and I'm gonna lie in it!" I just drank my soda as she drank her wine calmly. I thought back to when Haneru would come home and bring back one piece of jewelry that I would never part with.
I wore it around my neck on a leather cord, never letting go of it because… that was one of the last things he ever gave me.
"Tenkara, when you meet the perfect woman for you, give that ring to her."
"Hey… Nemuri, I got an idea, once we get to that roof, I want to give ya something," I said, smiling a little.
"Huh? What is it?" she asked. She wasn't shitfaced so it registered. Which was great for me. She just watched me with that sweet smile on her face like usual.
"I'll tell ya when I give it to ya!" I decided, "So come on! Finish your wine and let's go!" she grabbed the bottle and knocked it all back. I felt my eyes widen and a solid 'God… Damn.' was thought in my head.
Nemuri paid for the drinks, grabbed my hand, and whisked me off. We had about ten or so minutes to haul our asses to the roof and for me to give her my ring and hopefully join her back in Mustafu.
I missed her so much it hurt. I mean, I kinda started falling for her back then. Her personality, her looks, everything about her screamed confidence. So here I was, being dragged along and giving her directions to an old abandoned high rise.
We got to the top of it and she looked around, "Whoa… you can see the whole city from here," she breathed, sitting down as I did so next to her, "Do ya squat in here or something?" she asked.
"No, I just like the view and come up here to watch the sunsets." I said.
"So…" she said, "As you know, I made my debut," I smiled and hugged her with one arm.
"Hey! That's great! What'd they think of your new costume?" I asked. Nemuri sighed and laid her head on my chest.
"The Diet is gonna pass a hero costume skin limitation, I was one of the main examples." she just scoffed, "I still need to use my damn quirk,"
"Well… Nemi, why cantcha just use a tearable fabric, like plastic gloves or something?"
"Hm… not a bad idea, Tenkara…" she sighed, "I'm… very happy."
"Huh, why?" I asked.
"Because you never change… you're still the same, in this wild wild world… I always loved that about you," she said. I just smiled, seeing the streak of a rocket go into the sky. Exploding into dazzling red and blue and green, the fireworks dazzled as I tied her face up towards mine leaning forward and kissing her, it just felt right, meant to be.
Nemuri's hands buried into my hair as she fell back on the roof, years of pining for her surfaced, wanting to take her for myself. Nemuri pulled back.
"Not here, Tenkara… Not here," she said, "Let's head back to my place," I hoisted her into my arms and left for the station. We boarded the last train to Mustafu and she settled back on my chest, switching her glasses for her normal set.
She looked up at me, smiling. I just held onto her and we ended our little trip. She led the way as we just wandered along old streets I used to know. Her hand just dragged me behind, staring ahead at where we were going at 12 at night.
Nemuri was leading me towards her bedroom. Her apartment was small, with only enough room for two people and a cat. She just shut her door behind us, her eyes sparkling with either the alcohol or something else entirely.
I drew her close, kissing her gently. The contact made me shake a little. Nemuri wound her arm around my neck, her hand running through my hair. I didn't shove her away… not like years ago.
Not this time. But…
I hesitated, looking down at her with slight concern. She just smiled up at me.
"This is your first time, huh?" she asked.
"Yeah…" I admitted, "Still! I… I uh…" I felt her hands sliding coldly under my coat. Shrugging it off and leaving my shirt feeling naked. Her blue eyes seemingly like the light on a lighthouse, guiding my hand to gently caress her soft cheek, rubbing it, touching the beauty mark, her hand slid up to mine, squeezing.
Her lips burned like fire against my shoulder, softly burning as she trailed to my neck, her silent exploits causing shaking. Causing my hands to grab at her soft body. God, she was like a dream. A good one. Her soft hair, her luscious body, her deft, careful hands, almost velvet as we fell on the bed, bodies pressed together, soft and hard breathing came from our mouths as she gently pulled my face close to hers, closing her eyes and touching foreheads with mine.
She bit my shoulder and neck gently, lovingly, all before we fell. Why was pain caused by someone who loves you so beautiful? She traced my hard muscles, my rough silver hair, framing a far too statue-like face.
My tortured red-brown eyes closed, burning with tears. Burning and burning. What happened to Haneru, what happened to me after UA… I can't just run away from it. Nemuri just softly pressed a kiss to my face, her soft, wet tongue licking the tears away.
Her eyes just looked so kindly into my own, "Don't cry, babe…"
"I just… missed you…" I mumbled softly.
Nemuri just grinned, "Then take your time, Tenkara," she said, "There's no rush… '' she said, her jacket long gone and hair spreading on the bed. I gently flicked my hand, a pair of shining silver scissors came out, gently cutting off her bra and panties.
"I also got out some handcuffs, For your own good, so ya don't squirm so much," I said.
"Oooh! Handcuffs… hmmmm…" she cooed, "Kinky~!"
Heat filled my face as I laid close to her, gently placing my lips onto her nipple, sucking softly, closing my eyes and just feeling her not really squirm, but lay there. Moaning so gently. So quiet and almost like a soft song. I kissed her soft skin, savoring the warmth and the scent. The tender taste of the sweet skin was enough to make any man want more. So I continued kissing her body and actually smiling, it didn't hurt. It didn't hurt at all. Then… she spread her legs, exposing her entire self to me. Like… like she did that night when I got kicked out… throwing up in an alleyway, the principal seeing me caked in blood and heaving my guts out.
Yet… even when I was at my worst… Nemuri hugged me. Cleaned my face. Told me the words I always needed to hear.
"No matter what happens… you're not alone." Those words were sweeter than anything. Even the wine she drank. I slowly slid in, saying those words, reminding her that yes, I was here, and yes… I'd never leave her alone again.
More. More. Deeper and Deeper, more and more until I felt the same love. The same bottomless love I've been searching for. The same. The same… the same feeling I got when Haneru would hug me, when… when Nemuri would hold me.
When I used my quirk, it was never out of malice. It was out of fear, out of fear of the what if. Fear of villains. Fear of death. Fear and fear and fear again. Always scared, always afraid… always…
I halted my thrusting, my quirk letting her loose. I gave out. I couldn't. I couldn't let myself get too comfortable. I stood and grabbed my underwear and pants, my coat neglected on the ground, I put it on.
"Tenkara, wai-"
"I don't deserve a happy ending," I said, "You're better off with Hizashi or Shouta. Someone who knows you… someone who deserves you,"
"But… but you do. You deserve it, a happy ending,"
"No. I don't believe in fairytales. I could dream all this. I could… be dreaming of you…"
"Well… it's a wonderful dream, right?" she asked, opening her arms, the cuffs still hanging loosely from her wrists, "So dream with me a little more, okay?" I just took off my coat and fell into her arms, her quirk slowly lulling me to sleep.
"Shhh… It's okay… It's okay… Just dream for me, okay?" she muttered, the scent wafting through the room, letting me fall into a deep and peaceful slumber.
I know your soul is not tainted, even though you've been told so.