I4.6

Chapter 24: Helen of Troy

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Adult themes. DO NOT read if you are underage or dislike controversial things.

Author's Note: Thank you all for your encouraging reviews/comments! They really do help motivate me to write.

A deep sigh escapes Richard's dry lips as he allows himself to shift more of his weight onto the petite woman walking beside him. He hasn't felt this exhausted in a very long time and wonders when he will be able to properly rest. When will he be able to lay down the heavy thoughts of his mind and let the sins of his conscious go so that he can be at peace?

"We'll be okay," comes a quiet response beneath his arm. He glances down to see Rachel with her eyes trained ahead of them as they walk down the hallway to his bedroom. He knows that he should be resting and trying to recover. The fight with Beastboy was short, but intense. While Richard made sure to fight on the defensive, the changeling was determined to do damage. That couldn't be helped since the team's leader did go out of his way to push every button that the youngest member of the team has.

"I know," he replies slowly. The painkillers are starting to wear off and the aching in his chest is becoming more noticeable.

"You should be resting," she gently chides him. In her opinion, he is not making good choices right now.

"I should," he says, "but I need to assess the damages."

He can feel her nod her head beside him as they get closer to his door. This is why he loves her so much and craves her presence near him. She doesn't kick up a fuss about him needing to rest because she knows that he will not be able to do that if his mind is not at ease. She understands his need to do this. She respects that his bedroom is his own personal space. That it should be kept private and not tampered with. She is as mysterious and territorial of her space as he is about his. Beastboy violated every one of her rules when he decided to snoop in Richard's room.

They are both lost in their own deep thoughts as they stand before his door. She turns to Richard and finally looks up at his face. Her eyes are caressing the lump that is forming over his eye and assessing the expression on his countenance. He suspects that she is trying to use her powers of empathy to gauge what he is feeling so that she can better assist him. A sad expression ghosts over her face before she quietly says, "It's a mess in there."

"I know," Richard whispers to the air between them. "Sometimes I forget how destructive Beastboy can be because he is usually so good natured."

"Yea…" she trails off. There is more that she wants to say, but doesn't quite know how to say. Richard knows that there are things about his story and the encounter with the changeling that is not adding up in her head. Instead of focusing on his room, he decides to wait her out and see what she will do.

Eventually, Rachel asks, "What is the real reason for that fight?"

For a brief moment, Richard thought about lying to her. It would be easy to write off Beastboy's erratic behavior to the after effects of him being poisoned. She saw, first hand, what it was like when he lost control of his emotions and his shifting powers. She would believe him if he says that the changeling was acting strange and just lost his temper.

"You," he states. "You were the reason for our fight."

Her eyes dart to his face as a frown mars her pretty features. Her brows furrow into deep lines of worry and confusion. Her nose scrunches in distaste. Her lips pull down in an expression of anger and sadness.

"Explain," her low, feminine voice demands as she crosses her arms over her breasts in a defensive manner.

Richard finds himself licking his dry lips again, "I don't know how to say this without sounding like an ass...but we're both the jealous type, if you know that I mean."

That was a very vague answer and he knew it, but it was the closest he could get to the truth without revealing anything. Beastboy is the jealous type. After his relationship with Terra, his fear of the people he cares about leaving him for someone else or something else had intensified. He has clearly set his sights (and hopes) on Rachel. The young man probably wants to grab hold of her steady presence. Even though she is fragile and dealing with her own demons, she is still a steady, trustworthy friend. Any man who is able to snag her heart will be lucky to have her. Was the changeling trying to use her to build his self-esteem? He used to tease her and look down on her for her anti-social behaviors. It's only recently that he has started looking at the team's empath in a different light. From the exchange that both men had before the fighting started, it was clear to Richard that the changeling is dealing with an inferiority complex and sees his leader as some type of rival for love and power. He has a right to feel insecure. He couldn't hold a candle to Richard in many regards. For one he is too emotional.

"No, I don't know what you mean," Rachel demands. Her voice brings Richard out of his own thoughts and back to the present.

"Well," he begins, "Beastboy thinks that I am trying to steal you away from him. He thinks that our relationship is...more romantic than we let on."

"Because of the pictures?" she postulates.

"Partly," he replies and has the decency to looks sheepish. "That shouldn't have happened."

He watches as Rachel's eyes flutter shut before taking a deep breath. She says with a hard tone "It should not have. I don't know what had gotten into you, but I'm glad that it's gone."

Richard tries his best to brush off Rachel's dismissal of the notion that they can be more than just platonic friends and continues with, "He was determine to blame the poisoning on me."

"What evidence is he working off of?" she inquires with her hands still folded and her weight resting on one leg. This posture just extenuates the curve of her hips, but Richard finds that he can't enjoy this pose as much as he normally would have given the tension in the air. She was clearly mad, but at who, he couldn't tell. His only solace is that she is standing here with him and not with Beastboy.

"That's the thing," he says, "That's why he was snooping in my room. He thought he could find something that would pin the blame on me."

"Ugh. Beastboy," she says under her breath in a tone that a big sister would use when her baby brother does something dumb. She looks at Richard again before continuing with "What fool hides incriminating things in his own closet?"

"I dunno," Richard says while trying his best to shrug without grimacing in pain.

She sighs again before turning to face his bedroom door and the mess that lays beyond it. She glances up at him from the side of here eyes before saying, "You claimed that you're both the jealous type, but in reality, you're both just dumbasses that worry about the wrong things."

She grabs the handle of his door and turns it as Richard responds with, "History has proven that men do dumb shit for the women that they love...like kidnapping someone else's wife."

Rachel's violet hair swings with the momentum of her head turn and she lets go of the door knob. "Are you...are you making a Helen of Troy reference at a time like this?"

He smirks down at her as he recalls the heated debate that they had not so long ago about whether or not Helen left with Paris willingly or if she was forced. Richard thinks that she was taken, Rachel believes that she left of her own free will. The nuances are left up for interpretation, but the ensuing war was one that spawned myths, legends and historical debates. The debate they had was fiery and full of passionate appeals. Richard can still clearly remember the flush of Rachel's pale face as she stressed her points. The pout of her lips as he pushed back instead of just accepting her stance. The wild gesticulations of her hands as she tried to show her point of view as well as explain it. She was so animated. So alive. Most people never get to see that side of the quiet, antisocial, empath. They just know her as a plain Jane, who keeps to herself and reads too much to be healthy. Richard knows her as a person. He knows her as a scholar with thoughts, emotions, ideals. He knows her as a dependable colleague. He will know her as a woman.

"Maybe, but the point still stands. Men in love tend to do some really dumb things," he states.

"People," she corrects, "women can be just as stupid when they think 'it's real.'"

He can see the sad look crossing her face as she thinks back to her previous entanglements with the men in her life.

"Do you think it's real?" he asks. His question catches her off guard so he follows with "He thinks it's real."

They both know that he's referring to Beastboy. They both know that there is a budding relationship between the two, but whether they are experimental or fully romantic, Richard couldn't tell. Rachel is normally a very private person and he knows that she wouldn't be too comfortable sharing those kinds of details about her life with him given how "protective" he can be.

"I…," she's at a lost for words. Richard doesn't even think she knows where she stands in all of this. "I don't know if it is for him...but for me…"

He watches on as she looks away. Flustered and unsure. He presses further, "For you?"

"I know that I care about him," she says slowly as she tries to gather her thoughts. Richard is trying not to grind his teeth in frustration. Caring for a teammate that you share life and death experiences with is normal. There is no reason to be jealous about that, he tries to tell himself. He is brought back into focus when she continues with "I care about him, but I don't think I love him as anything more than a friend."

Richard can feel a rush of relief at that admission, but he has to ask "You don't think?"

She hums in agreement as her hand returns to his door knob and begins opening the door. It is swinging open as she says, "Yea. You know that things are always changing. Who knows what the future holds?"

Who knows, indeed, he thinks to himself. Richard is not satisfied with that answer. It implies that she wouldn't be against it if things, situations and events change in the future. He needs her to be more definitive than that. He needs to her to only look to him again. Like she used to.

He's not sure what to feel in this moment as he watches her violet head swinging from one side to another as she surveys the actual damage done to his room. He couldn't properly focus on that because he is too busy focusing on her. He is questioning whether she is fully his or not. The thought of her possibly choosing someone else over him is both infuriating and terrifying at the same time. Was this what Paris felt when he kidnapped Helen? Or was this what her husband felt when he realized that she was gone? Infuriated and terrified that someone else stole what was his to have and to hold. Could Rachel possibly be his Helen? He has gone to hell for her. Fought literal demons for her. Rescued her from those that seek to use her. Saved her from her own mental dungeons. What's a war? Or two? Or three? He's used to fighting. He's been fighting since the day he lost his parents. He'll continue to fight until he's buried or burned.

He is more than willing to fight for her. Spill blood. Ruin friendships. Drug comrades. But is she willing to stay with him? Or will she run away with a man-child like Beastboy because he makes her feel good in the moment. He knew how to make her feel good, too. He knew that she likes, dislikes, how she thinks and rationalizes things. He knew her personally and he is determined to learn her physically. From the times that she has allowed him to touch her, he has learned where some of her more sensitive areas are. He knows that if he runs his fingers up her sides that she will shiver in delight. If he whispers in her ear, she will automatically blush. He knows that holding her hand provides her with a sense of security. That brushing her hair helps to calm her nerves and bring her back to the present. It's how they've avoided many panic attacks in the past. His Rachel needs to be touched. She has been denied the sensation of physical intimacy for too long and secretly craves it when no one is watching. Has Beastboy discovered this need of the team's empath? The thought of those long, green, scrawny fingers clawing at Rachel's delicate flesh is enough to make him feel disgusted. No one should have that much access to her besides him. He's proven his worthiness more times than he can count and will continue to do so until he dies.

A life without Rachel would be like a mini death. He has grown so accustomed to her presence, her voice, her smell, her sound that the mere thought of losing her is enough to make him panic. It doesn't matter if it's metaphorically or physically. She has been by his side for so many years that he doesn't even know how to envision a life without her there. He can feel his agitation rising at all of the what-if possibilities. What if he really did loose her to someone else? What if she finds out all that he has done and decides that she will abandon him like the rest? What if she grows tired of his company and seeks comfort and companionship in someone else? What if…

Richard's thoughts are running a mile a minute as he steps into his bedroom. He doesn't spare a glance to the damage that has been done because his sole focus is on the petite, violet hair young woman standing in the middle of the wreckage. She is still looking around, hands on hips and a thoughtful expression on her face. She is probably thinking about the best way to help him fix this mess. She stiffens a little when she picks up on the strong waves of agitated emotions radiating off of Richard's body. It is only logical that she assumes that he is feeling this way because of the intrusion on his privacy, the carnage strewn about his space, the injuries that he sustained in an effort of "self defense." There was no way that she could know that he was panicking at the thought of losing her. Of being abandoned by her. It doesn't matter if it's with the changeling or any other man that comes along. He would fight them all. Even Death.

He watches as she slowly turns to him with an unreadable expression on her face. He can't tell if it's worry, pity, sadness or understanding. He doesn't care. In this moment, in the middle of this torn up room, she is standing there and is looking at him. Richard doesn't realize that his feet are moving as he crosses the threshold and covers the space between him and her in three long strides. As he is gets closer, she opens her arms and raises her hands in a welcoming gesture. She knows what he's coming for and she accepts it. This is a far cry from the Rachel of years passed who would run from any type of strong emotions, much less from such forward physical touch. It says a lot about what she is willing to do for him. What she is really to endure for him. He is touched by this and scopes her up in his arms. Hissing softly as the movement and weight of her soft body pulls on his stitches. He ignores the pain because some things are more important and worth more than a couple of deep scratches.

She wraps her arms around his shoulders and uses her dark powers to hover her body instead of allowing her weight to pull him down. He has his arms wrap securely around her waist with his nose buried in her hair. Richard finds himself taking in deep breaths of her scent as he appreciates how real she feels as she is pressed against him. He can slowly feel his panic subsiding as he reminds himself that she is here with him and no one else. She didn't stay with Starfire to take care of her. She isn't with Beastboy, trying to calm him down. She isn't brainstorming possible solutions to the breakdown of their team with Cyborg. She is standing here with him. Supporting him in his moment of need. This is precisely why he can never let her go. He needs her as much as she needs him. He'll make sure she realizes that sooner rather than later.

They stood in each other's embrace for what felt like ages before Rachel finally says "Do you feel better?"

He doesn't say anything. Just nods his head against the crown of her head. He feels her begin to pull away so he tightens his hold on her. Locking his arms with each other against her back. He can feel her stiffen when she realizes that she can't step back from him, but instead of repelling him like she's done the last few times, she steps even further into his hold. She is probably waiting until he feels secure enough to let her go. Little does she know that letting go is not an option for them anymore. Richard is in too deep and he is content enough to drag Rachel down with him.

The shattered image that greets Richard when he cracks open his eyes is a perfect metaphor for his mental state. The mirror above his dresser has splintered into a thousand little pieces. All precariously kept in place. Patiently waiting for a slight upset to come cascading down. In those fragments he can see how tightly he is hanging on to Rachel. He can see her hovering so that she can meet his height and accommodate for his injuries. Such a sweet girl, he thinks to himself as he takes a closer look at his reflection. She is still willing to embrace a wretch like him even though he is no longer handsome. While he knows that his wounds will heal, there is no denying that he looks horrendous right now. The swelling above his left eye has gotten bigger and more pronounced. The discoloration has painted the impacted area alarming shades of black and blue. His left eye is blood shot. It is clear that Beastboy was not holding back on his punches. It was strong enough to knock him out instantly, but the whole event is worth this preciously beautiful moment with his beloved. It was a good thing that he didn't electrocute the changeling when he had the chance. Beastboy may have "won" that fight, but Richard walked away with the girl.

"Dick?" Rachel quietly whispers. It is clear that she is becoming impatient with him, but the thought of losing the feel of her soft hands on his bare shoulders makes him a little sad.

"Hmm?" he hums, trying to buy a little more time.

"You should let go now," she says.

"I should," he responds while still holding her tightly. He makes no move to comply with her unspoken request.

"We still have a whole room to clean," she says as she lifts her head off of his shoulder. Even though she pulls her head away, the unique scent of her hair is still registered in his nose.

"We do," he replies with a sigh and says in all honesty, "but I think I've lost motivation to do it."

"You're not doing it alone. I said we," she reiterates. She said we. Richard smiles at the plural. We. Quickly his smile turns into a grimace at the uncomfortable pulling at his face. Rachel frowns in response and cups the uninjured side of his face in her small hand. Her thumb gently running beneath his tired right eye. "Do you want me to heal that for you?"

And give up this attention? He asks himself in his head before shaking it in the negative. He glances up at his ceiling before saying "Don't waste your energy. We really don't know what will happen next. Only you and Cyborg are in fighting shape."

She nods her head as Richard finally lets go of her and she hovers back down to her feet. This puts her right in line with his chest injury that is wrapped up in bandages. He can feel her fingers ghosting over the afflicted area before taking a step back. She wrinkles her brow in concern and distaste. Even though Richard has told her that the reason for their fight was her, she still can't seem to wrap her head around why the two men would do that. In her mind, Beastboy was attempting to defend a romantic relationship that doesn't exist and Richard has a misguided sense of heroism when it comes to protecting their friendship.

"We should find you a shirt," she says as she turns away from him. Her mind filled with too many thoughts to think clearly and her emotions are a jumbled mess. As much as she would like to run away from all of this and mediate in her cave beneath the Tower, she decides to stay and help her friend. But first, she should find him a shirt. As she hunts for suitable clothing, he finally takes a good look at the damage.

His bed frame is broke, but at least the mattress is still in tact, so he'll have something to sleep on when he finally crashes tonight. His dresser is a mess. He watches as Rachel gingerly pulls on draws to see if they will open. Disturbing the splintered wood too much might cause the shattered glass above it to come raining down on her head. As she hunts, he continues to assess the damage and hones in on his real area of concern. In the corner of his room is a small work station. He knows that it's not a good idea for a workaholic like him to have that there because he is less likely to actually rest in this space, but there have been nights where inspiration has struck like lightening and he was able to accomplish quite a bit. All of his semi-important documents were scattered across the floor. Some crumpled, some damaged beyond repair. While he is annoyed by that, he wasn't angry about it because he knows that he has digital backups. What worried him was his personal laptop that has gotten lost in all of this clutter. It was specially designed by the Enterprise for Robin. It is constructed with military grade material so he wasn't too concerned about it being physically damage. It is also encrypted with high tech security features, so the likelihood of someone being able to crack the code is low, but never zero.

Richard carefully crouches down beside the shambles of his desk. Gently lifting the paper and scattered debris. After a few minutes of searching, he realizes that the computer is no where in sight. He takes a couple of calming breathes. Telling himself that he shouldn't worry. That, even if the computer is missing, there is no way anyone would be able to get beyond the encryption. Even if someone did manage to break the code and find his files about I4.6 they wouldn't be able to make much sense of his note taking style. He developed it to suit his tastes, needs and overall style. Even if someone did decipher it, it would just be detailed notes on how the drug effected Beastboy and Starfire. Keeping that kind of information isn't incriminating in itself. Even Cyborg has medical records about how the drug as effected his teammates. The only truly incriminating thing on that device is his rationale for why he drugged the members that he did and in the order that they're in.

He is so lost in thought that he doesn't register when Rachel approaches him with a shirt in hand. She holds it up to him in a gesture that says "here, put this on." He realizes that it's not actually a shirt but a hoodie with a zippered front. That makes sense. It'll be easy access to his wound if needed. He stands up to his full height and turns around so that she can help him put the article of clothing on. He idly wonders what is going on inside of her head as she walks the fabric up his toned arms and tiptoes a little to comfortably drape the rest of the clothing over his muscular shoulders. He zips it up as his eyes continue to scan his bedroom.

"Are you looking for something?" she asks. He nods absentmindedly as he tries to peek under his destroyed bed frame. As he is looking, Rachel levitates the broken pieces off of the floor so that he can have a better look. Nope, the laptop isn't here either. He watches her move all of the broken pieces to the side before placing the mattress back down on the floor. She moves on to his dresser and mends as much of it as she can, but there is nothing that she can do about the shattered glass. Rachel uses her powers to gently remove the shards and maneuvers them near his broken bed frame.

"It's not here, either," he mumbles to himself. Turning his attention to his closet. Maybe Beastboy stashed it in there right before he got caught snooping?

"What is it that you're looking for?" Rachel asks again. She waves her hand and a black hole blooms under the pile of garbage at the side of his bedroom. Just like that the rubble is swallowed up into a pit of nothingness. If his attention wasn't directed elsewhere, he would have asked her where she sent the debris.

"I'm looking for my personal laptop," he says with a frown disrupting his, already, misshaped face.

"Oh no," she whispers behind him as she follows him to the closet. Together, they search high and low, but the device is no where to be found. Now, Richard is starting to worry, but he knows that it has to be somewhere in the Tower.

"No laptop, but I did find your communicator," she quietly says. She is afraid to upset her injured friend anymore than he already is. She holds up the little yellow device like a peace offering. Richard makes sure to gently brush his fingers against hers as he takes it from her hand. That little device is designed to take a beating. He restarts it and runs a scan of all of the other communicators in the area. Rachel's head gently rests against his bicep as she peeks over his arm to take a look at the small screen. Two of the four Titans' communicators are located at the Tower. There are three that are pinging in a near by park. Sure enough, two of the three belong to Beastboy and Cyborg. The metal man probably brought the agitated changeling there to release some steam and to get him as far away from Richard as reasonably allowed. What Richard couldn't understand is why Starfire is with them.

"Shouldn't Starfire be resting at home?" Rachel asks near his elbow. She took the words right out of Richard's mouth. What could all three of them being doing at the park...together?

Rachel's voice disrupts his thoughts again, "Your laptop...wouldn't happen to have a GPS tracker on it? I know that you like to put trackers on everything."

The mumbled "control freak" didn't go unnoticed by him but he chooses to ignore it because he has more pressing matters at hand. Besides, she's not completely wrong. She would not be pleased to know that he has a running record of every where that she is and has been thanks to the anklet he gave her all those years ago. All of that information is actually kept on the laptop that they are trying to find.

"Well," he starts as he changes screens on his communicator, "for your information...I actually do."

He hears Rachel scoff and peeks at her to see her politely looking away as he inputs the necessary codes and verification. Together, they look on as the little communicator works to find the missing laptop. To Richard, it feels like they have been standing there for ages before the device finally picks up on a signal. This is incredibly problematic because the only way for the GPS to pick up a signal is if the laptop is on. Somehow, Richard is not surprised to see the location being provided and Rachel is swearing bloody murder besides him.

"What. The. Actual. Fuck. Is. Happening?" she hisses, not quite believing her eyes. She begins repeating her famous mantra to try and calm herself. Richard is partly amused by how upset she is about this on his behalf and partly worried that there are three blind mice at the park, trying to break the code of his personal device. He watches as Rachel paces back and forth in the free space of his demolished bedroom. While she removed the broken bits and pieces, there are still things scattered about.

Rachel abruptly turns to Richard with fire in her eyes and says "We will not stand for this!"

Richard wants to smile at her use of we, but he knows that he has to calm her down before they confront the rest of their teammates. Otherwise, an already bad situation will become much worse.

He calls out "Wait Rachel!" as he wraps his arms around her from behind, but it is too late. The darkness of her portal swallows them both.

Authors sure do love a good cliff hanger, don't we? Will Richard let Rachel fight his battles for him? Will the other members of the Titans side with Beastboy or their tried and true leader? Does anyone have good intentions anymore?!