Here it is, at long last, the grand finale!
I mean, sort of.
Chapter 37: Past, Presents, and Future
Happytown
Sherwood Apartments - Room 73
11:01 PM
"Marian, just calm down."
"Do not tell me to calm down!" the vixen snapped, pacing around the room. She was clearly beside herself with worry, so much so that she passed Timber and his empty plate five separate times without offering him more cookies. "You saw the same thing I did!"
"Well, yeah," Danielle replied, "but even my reaction wasn't that extreme." She looked back at the TV, its screen smashed by a flying frying pan. "It's kind of impressive, honestly."
"I'm leaving," Marian decided, grabbing a steak knife and an oven mitt in the shape of a fist before heading for the door.
Danielle leapt to intercept her, blocking the fox's path. "Whoa there! Where do you think you're going?"
"I'm going to rescue my only son from my deranged ex. And I won't even need to take him to court first."
"Okay, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but do you really think you can do that by yourself?"
"Well, a little help would be nice," she snarked. "If only there were some big, strong bikers around who could assist me."
"Our job is actually to keep you out of harm's way," Greg reminded. "Incidentally, I'm out of cookies too. Just putting that out there."
Marian shot him a glare until he looked away, then focused its power back on Danielle. She proved a more formidable opponent. "Yeah, I'm not budging. Sorry, but I can't let you-"
"Let me what, Danielle? You realize you're trying to stop a mother from being there for her son? Funny, I kinda thought the Lang Family would be more understanding about that."
She glared back. "Don't pretend to know how our pack operates."
"Maybe I know more than you think," she said, jabbing a mittened finger into the wolf's chest. "Or at least I knew someone who was probably a member."
She blinked in surprise, as did her other lupine guests. "You…did?"
"Well, she never told me as much, but I'm not an idiot. I can piece things together. And let me just say, Annie knew what it was like to be a mother."
Danielle's eyes widened for a moment, briefly shattering her stoic demeanor. But like anything else, she repaired it quickly. "Okay, frick it. I was getting bored just sitting here anyway. Uh…"
"Frick is fine," Marian confirmed. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. Just…let's put down the knife first." She held Marian's wrist and gently lowered it to the nearby countertop to drop the weapon. "I have a bigger one in my bag."
The door to the apartment was kicked open and out stormed Marian, followed by Danielle and the rest of the posse standing guard outside. They were confused, but quickly fell in line with a barked order from Marian. "Alright Langs, you want to help out your family? Well, so do I! Let's move out!"
She was met by howled cheers, following her out of the apartment and onto the back of Danielle's bike. Marian let out a horrific fox scream as a battle cry, somehow not dampening the mood at all as they zoomed out of the neighborhood. They even brought along some extra cookies for the trip.
Wilde Times
Control Room
11:07 PM
By contrast, it was strangely quiet in the park's command center, especially given the two mammals currently occupying it. At this point, the only two mammals who were really left in Count Reynard's crime syndicate.
And one of them was more of a consultant.
"You know what to do, yes?" Reynard asked, taking his own turn pacing around the room.
"Of course," Dr. Hareison answered, the lagomorph now perched in what was formerly the boss's seat. "Your instructions were very clear. Remarkably so, really."
"Good. Then as of now, you are the director. Just don't pull a Tommy Weasiul and blow it on your first attempt, even if it becomes charming and hilarious in its own right." Reynard stumbled over one of the scattered chess pieces still littering the floor, then kicked it across the room.
"Understood. But if I may, while the various rotating cogs of your plan seem to be functioning as they should, you yourself seem notably less so. Are you alright?"
Reynard stopped pacing, leaning up against the wall as he now tried to will himself into standing still. "Have you ever gone to a casino, gathered up everything you owned, and then bet it all on a single game of chance?"
"That sounds like a statistically bad idea, so no, I can't say I have."
"Well, I have. This feels a lot like that, except that I'm actually concerned over the outcome." His cane traced circles into the floor, it becoming restless instead. "Nothing less than everything both Nicholas and I have worked for is at stake here. I have put the boy through such trials in the hopes that he would be ready, but I fear that I am asking too much even of him. And as for me?" He realized what he was doing and pounded the cane on the floor in an effort to stop it. "His failure is my failure. And I cannot accept failure at this stage. No matter what the setback, I must always adapt, and so I have. Or so I've tried."
He let out a shaky breath, removing his glasses. "Do you understand, Doctor? You must. You're the only one who knows what I'm planning. Someone had to know in order to pull it off. I couldn't even tell Sang and I got the idea from her."
"Shame about Miss Sang," Hareison agreed. "She was good to work with."
"They all were. In their own special, often-imbecilic ways. Worth plenty of laughs at least. And now they're just chips on the table." The cane started to shake again and Reynard gave up on containing it, advancing towards Hareison with the cane in one paw and his glasses in the other. "All of them. Every mammal, every weapon, every vehicle, every plan, every crime, every death, every cruel, monstrous thing I have ever done. I have gathered it here tonight, so I can bet it all on red."
"And if you were to lose this metaphorical wager?" Hareison asked.
Reynard stopped in front of him, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe down his glasses before sliding them back on, taking a deep breath. "I have no illusions about what sort of mammal I am. I am a father first, a con artist second, and a crime lord third. And while good and evil might be outdated constructs, setting five children ablaze makes a pretty unambigious case for the latter. But dammit, at least I have a sense of purpose, a method to my madness. Without Nicholas, I have no such purpose, and if this plan fails, I may well lose him forever. What does that make me then?"
"Oh!" Hareison clapped. "A loser!"
"It makes me someone who did all of those terrible things for absolutely no reason! And if you thought I was crazy before, then hooooo boy!" He swung his cane against the floor and sent several more chess pieces flying. Just as quickly, he was overcome by sudden fatigue, catching himself with the cane as his whole body started to tremble. "Hoo...boy...those really are some stakes, huh?"
"I really must express concern over your mental state, Count. Perhaps this new neural implant I've been working on could-"
"No need to worry. Just the ol' mask slipping is all. I'm still feeling right as rain! Despite all the repressed guilt and pain. Everything's going to be just fine! Or I'll have utterly failed this son of mine. This will be for his own good! As much as this pitiful father could."
Hareison scribbled on a notepad. "Muttering contradictory statements to yourself...in rhyme. Fascinating, if deeply unsettling."
He shook his head in frustration. "You're right, you're right. I need a little boost. Tell me a joke."
"A...joke?"
"You know, a pun, a quip, a zinger, anything! Hit me!"
"Hmm. Not my area of expertise, but if I can construct complex automatonic structures, I can construct a basic form of humor." Hareison's long ears twitched around every which way as if trying to pick up a signal. "Let's see...ah, I believe I've created a real knee-slapper! What did the fluxotronic capacitor say to the chronological battery?"
Reynard blinked. "I don't know. What did the fluxotronic capacitor say to the chronological battery?"
"Not now. I'm out of energy."
A tumbleweed from the park's canceled Western zone rolled through the office. "...Maybe try another?"
He rubbed his paws together with glee. "Oooh, what an intriguing mental puzzle! I will now attempt to utilize a standard comedic formula for better results. Why did the dimensional traveler cross the road?"
"Okay, I'll bite. Why?"
"In order to...wait, hold on. Which side of the road is he on? And in which direction is he crossing? That could seriously impact the final result of the punchline. For that matter, is this a physical road or more metaphysical? The possibilities there are frankly endless. Come to think of it, the very concept of a road might not even be relevant depending on-"
"Hareison!"
"Right! Um, to get to the other side?"
The sound of escaped crickets from the insect food store rang out.
"Or rather, to make you think he's going to the other side but has actually utilized a holographic projection to create the illusion of such and has, in fact, remained stationary the entire time! A hustle!"
He remained silent a moment longer. "...Heh. Heh heh heh heh. Ahahahahaha!" Reynard doubled over, now needing his cane just to remain standing as he laughed uncontrollably.
"It appears I've found the proper comedic reaction!"
"No, that was awful," Reynard clarified, still chuckling. "But I could relate to it. Thank you, Doctor." His mask now firmly back in place, Reynard stood up straight, his manic grin returning. "Now, this is the Reynard Zootopia needs to see! Just gotta fake it 'till I make it! For Nicholas's sake."
Save me, Dad!
I will, son!
He headed for the exit, casually stepping around the rest of the clutter as he folded his cane behind his back. "Oh, and Doc?" He grinned over his shoulder at him, tipping the brim of his top hat. "It's been fun."
Count Reynard's Future Foxtrot
11:12 PM
Nick had already come back from going underwater at this point, so outer space seemed like the logical next step.
As Nick and Finnick stepped inside, their surroundings grew dark, so dark that he suspected anyone without night vision would have some trouble getting around. This section of the park was entirely sealed within a giant metal dome, the primary source of light coming from an elaborate artificial starscape that surrounded them. Within this array were multicolored auroras in the shape of card suits as well as constellations that formed some very familiar scenes.
"Hey, look Finn! It's you and me!" Nick pointed up at a constellation that appeared to depict him clinging to the top of Finnick's van, the smaller fox freaking out inside.
"I thought you hated being remembered for that."
"Gotta learn to laugh at yourself at some point."
"Then how about that one?" Finnick pointed to another constellation, this one showing Nick being punched out by a feral Boomer. "That one's pretty funny!"
"Har har." He looked at another one, seeing himself fleeing from multiple vehicles on the Torrential Turnpike. "If this is supposed to be highlighting my best moments, I'm not sure I'm feeling the love, despite the high production values."
"Maybe both of you are just good at laughing at yourselves." Finnick pointed out one that showed Reynard being chased by Nick, the two foxes looking equally silly.
"Or this is just the closest thing Reynard has to a photo album of us. His idea of father-son bonding." And not just father-son, as he spotted another of himself hugging Marian while she recovered. It even had a cascading light effect to represent the tears dropping from their eyes. "Alright. Enough reliving memories. Let's figure out where to go."
"I'm guessing that way." Finnick pointed to a neon sign that hung from an archway nearby, leading into a glass tunnel.
This way to the Launchpad of Destiny!
"That sounds about right," Nick said, heading towards it.
Finnick hesitated. "We just gonna listen to what Reynard's telling us?"
"Do you have a better idea?" he asked honestly. "If there's one thing I've learned by now, it's that trying to subvert my dad's games is only delaying the inevitable. It's about time we just face him head-on."
"More my style anyhow," he said with a shrug and a tap of his bat. "The guy's been quiet for a while though."
"Doesn't mean he's not watching," Nick said, looking up at a camera attached to the bottom of the archway. Though they couldn't be seen as well in here, the cameras were still everywhere, and he had no doubt they could see the two of them perfectly. "Come on. It'd be rude to keep destiny waiting."
"If the deal ain't good, I'll stand up whoever the hell I want," Finnick muttered, following after him regardless.
The moment they both stepped into the tunnel, the floor suddenly shifted beneath them, turning into an automatic conveyor belt that slowly carried them forward like the kind you'd find at an airport. In the distance, they could see the outline of a tall tower topped with a giant Reynard head, both its eyes and grin glowing ominously. "Guess that removes any doubt on which way we're supposed to go," Nick remarked.
"Yeah. 'Cause it's obviously a trap."
Nick went to snark back when an array of fireworks shot up on either side, creating light-polluting booms overhead as a synth cover of "Happy Birthday to You" began to play.
"Ooooor it's whatever this is."
Strobe lights kicked on, waving haphazardly into the "sky", the fireworks began to create various images of Nick's face in enough different expressions to make a full set of emojis, and to top it all off, a row of Wallabeanies in black spacesuits arose from each side, built with enough animatronic programming to dance in sync.
"What are you doing?" Nick asked, seeing Finnick holding his bat at the ready.
"Waiting for them to attack."
Nick tapped his foot on the moving floor. "Finn, he's not even making us walk. I doubt he's going to sic the Spacebeanies on us."
"I ain't taking my chances, thanks."
As the song and the tunnel came to an end, the fireworks spelled out one final "Happy Birthday!", the strobe lights turned off, and the Wallabeanies took a bow before disappearing back below the surface. By the time they could see normally again, the image of the tall tower was now clearly visible in front of them, resembling a launch tower without a rocket. Instead, all they could see was that giant Reynard head, a roller coaster track emerging from one ear and zigzagging around most of the zone. It was probably meant to look like a building-sized version of his cane, but honestly bore greater resemblance to a gigantic PEZ dispenser.
With an "Employees Only" door that didn't give way to even Finnick's most aggressive of batterings. There didn't appear to be any stairs or ladders either. "I'm not climbing that," the fennec said firmly.
A panel slid open at the base of the tower, an alternative mode of transport rising up to greet them. It was designed like a UFO, with seating for two and the red and black stripes of a roulette wheel. Nick and Finnick looked at each other, the former staring down the latter until he sighed and climbed in. "I'm doing this for you, Nick. Don't forget."
"I don't intend to." Nick scooted in next to him, Finnick laying the metal bat across their laps like a safety bar that the ride otherwise lacked. Once they were both seated, the UFO began to slowly climb the tower, attached to a track that ascended in a spiral.
Finnick tried his best not to look down. "This thing is not going fast enough and I'm not great with heights. Regretting this already."
Nick patted him on the shoulder. "You okay there, bud? You're being even more Finnicky than usual."
"I'm still pissed that your dad played me like a fiddle," he admitted. "Using my own hate for him against me. How am I supposed to fight that, huh? That's why I like dealing with typical street crooks. None of this 'plans-upon-plans' bullshit, just two mammals enter, one mammal leaves with shattered kneecaps. As it should be!"
"So you think taking that bat to Reynard's crotch might be a part of his secret master plan?"
"You're bein' sarcastic, but I genuinely can't rule it out!"
"Then maybe you can help me piece this together," Nick said, leaning back in his seat and staring into the fake stars. "I've been thinking about that key hunt hustle Reynard pulled on us back there."
Finnick rolled his eyes. "Lemme guess, it sparked some kind of brilliant insight? That's how he gets in your head, Nick!"
"No, listen! Something's still bothering me. Like I said, it was a classic con. Get your mark to realize they're being played, yet make false assumptions about the how and why. That sort of con doesn't rely on the mark being gullible, but rather being too savvy for their own good."
"It might not be my style but I've still been in the hustling business as long as you have, Nick. Longer, actually. I know how the con works. What are you getting at?"
"What I'm getting at is that it's pretty much the perfect con to pull on me. And my father would know that better than anyone. Which makes me wonder if there are other false assumptions we've been making."
"You say that like you already have an idea."
"Off the top of my head, just one." Nick turned back to face him. "Let's recap, shall we? Seems like the thing to do now. Reynard comes to Zootopia aiming to take revenge on all of the crime lords for rejecting me, then plans to merge all their syndicates into one and give them to me as his warped idea of atonement for leaving me behind. He tells me all this at the Grand Palms Hotel, I tell him where he can stick that fancy cane of his, and then he gets all mopey about it. Eventually, he decides to go visit my comatose mom at the hospital…"
Finnick, who had been twirling his wrist around in a "get on with it" gesture, now perked up in interest, unfamiliar with this part.
"…where he meets Carrots at the height of his emotional breakdown and goes on a big rant against the ZPD, ending with…"
"It's not just the crime lords I should be targeting...it's all of you!"
Finnick blinked in surprise.
"From what I gather, then he went back to you guys," Nick continued. "And what was he like then?"
"All better," Finnick confirmed. "Like nothing ever happened. I had no idea what lit the fire under his ass again at the time, but I guess it was that."
Nick raised a claw to cut him off, finally reaching his point. "You assume it was that."
"Well…yeah? What else could it have been?"
"That's the thing. Let's do some math."
Finnick glowered. "Nobody said there'd be math."
"Don't worry, I'll try to make it interesting using real-life applications. So, Reynard meets Carrots and rants against the ZPD, we'll call that Point A. And Reynard suddenly feeling super motivated again, that's Point B. Now, we see those things happen and think 'Oh, I guess Point A led to Point B.' But we don't know that. We're just assuming that because we didn't see anything else happen in-between."
Finnick pinched his brow. "Nick, I see what you're getting at, but this is a bit of a stretch…"
"Is it?" Nick asked. "You were with him most of that time. Tell me, did he ever mention anything about targeting the ZPD? Some kind of newfound vendetta against the boys in blue? Because I'm getting the impression that, before I brought it up just now, you had no idea he ever said anything like that."
The fennec paused, large ears pinning as he tried to think back. "He did say something about having a 'stroke of inspiration'...after visiting his ex...but he was never specific about it. And believe me, I pried like a crowbar."
"And then he just went after Narwhalter anyway, right?"
"Yeah...though he was kinda apathetic at that point. Said the guy was just a 'stepping stone' in the 'bigger picture', whatever that means."
"Exactly. We don't know what it means. And from what you're telling me, nobody under Reynard knows either. Yet he screamed right in my partner's face about what his end goal was? Which he had to know would get back to me, even if he wasn't thinking that at the time."
"Okay, you're gonna have to back up a little here because it sounds like you're saying that Point B had jack all to do with Point A."
"Not necessarily," Nick replied, making Finnick groan loudly in response. "He did mention seeing my mom, right? It's just that his loud, impassioned rant to Judy was likely...nothing more. The words of a very angry mammal, maybe a little drunk, but not something you change your entire master plan over."
"But he did change it?" Finnick pressed.
"Seems that way. He even sang as much."
"We just don't know to what?"
"I...haven't figured that part out yet, no."
"And you're basically admitting that he literally fooled you without even trying?"
"Not my proudest epiphany."
"Faaaaanfoxingtastic." Finnick wiped a paw slowly down his face. "So where does that leave us?"
"I don't know," Nick said. "I know uncomfortably little considering we're about to confront him. So I'll just fall back on what I do know. My father is insane, but he's not an idiot. He knows better than to think he can win me back by now. He may be able to adapt to anything, but my complete refusal to join him broke the guy so badly that he was out of commission for hours. Yet something snapped him back, and with this much presentation, it has to be something big. So what is it? How does someone who can adapt to anything adapt to the entire foundation of his plan falling apart?"
"No idea, but thanks for spoiling the mood, asshole!"
"Was that needed?"
"I said I'm not great with heights, okay?! Lay off!"
They were about as high as they could get now, the UFO finally reaching the top of its track directly behind the Reynard head. A slot opened to admit them entrance and they stepped off, Finnick relaxing a little once he was on solid ground again. But as always, a little was his limit.
A few steps inside, the metal door closed again behind them, casting them into almost total darkness once more.
Nick released a breath. "Here we go."
Reynard's Head-quarters
11:25 PM
The lights came on almost immediately, making both foxes wince in pain. "SURPRISE!" Reynard's voice shouted as confetti sprinkled onto them. "Happy Birthday, Nicholas!"
Nick recovered first, wiping away the specks of confetti and taking a look around. The interior of the hollowed-out head was like a blend of a typical birthday party and Emperor Porpoistine's throne room from Return of the Predi. In other words, there was nothing typical about it at all. Balloons and streamers littered the floor, a ten-layer blueberry cake standing tall in one corner. There had once been a long table to eat it on, but it had since been cut cleanly in half by a black roller coaster running through the center of the room. Like everything else here, it was distinctly Reynard-themed, his grinning face on the front and big fox paws lining the sides with a tail bobbing up and down in the back.
The real deal was seated on a throne positioned between two glass "eyes" that served as windows to the cosmic scenery outside. He was covered in a black cloak that let nothing but his smile show while also wearing a slightly-askew party hat.
Finnick nudged Nick in the leg. "Well? You're the one who said to play along."
Nick sighed, stepping forward. "Alright, who are you supposed to be now? Darth Perfidious?"
The cloaked figure stood. "No...I am your father."
"Kinda muddled the reference, but props for using the actual quote I guess."
Reynard threw off the cloak, catching it on his cane and flinging it across the room where it landed on Finnick. Underneath it was the same gold suit that Nick had sadly gotten used to. "So glad you could make it all the way up here, son! Did you enjoy the light show? I put that together just for you, as I have many things."
Nick shook his head as Finnick struggled to disentangle himself. "Honestly, you keep saying that like I'm supposed to be appreciative, but I juuuust keep getting distracted by the smell of all the blood on your paws."
Reynard's usual demeanor wavered for a moment, his mask slipping again. "No, you're right. I shouldn't expect any gratitude."
And a second later, it was back. "Though I gotta be honest, you are being a little ungrateful. I know you don't understand exactly what I'm doing for you just yet, but I can tell you right now that it sure as heck isn't easy for me. I have had to rewrite so much of this plan because of you and your stubbornness. But I do it anyway and make that sacrifice because I'm your father and I love you. Least you could give me is a little 'Hey, cool fireworks, bro!'."
Finnick finally kicked the garment off of him, picking up his bat again and pointing it towards the grinning fox. "You'll be seeing fireworks a'plenty by the time I'm done with ya!"
Taking the initiative, Finnick rushed across the room to get at him, an effort halted by a single swing of Reynard's cane that sent a plume of fire arching across his path. "I know you're just itching for action, but-wait, that was the flamethrower. Dammit, every time!"
That gave even Finnick a bit of pause as he watched several party decorations catch fire and sizzle out soon after. "I guess I should be grateful you didn't try to light me on fire on purpose?"
He waved him off. "Oh, no need for that. I just didn't want to scorch my suit you're still wearing. It's worth more than you are at this point."
"Is that so? Then I hope you don't mind if I modify it a little…" He promptly tore off both of his sleeves, tossing them carelessly behind him to join the rest of the streamers. "There. Thought that might at least piss you off."
Reynard's smile grew a bit more forced. "Not gonna lie. Kinda does!"
"So what are we still waiting for?" Nick asked. "Got a big villain monologue planned I assume?"
"Not at all. I was actually hoping to keep this part short and sweet. After all, we've only got…" He checked his watch, "about thirty minutes of your birthday left! We're definitely gonna have to pick up the pace then." Though he took a second to wave merrily at a camera positioned even here. "So for now, I'll just give you one present." Reynard reached behind his throne and tossed a black and gold gift box across the room, landing at Nick's feet.
The fox stared at it for a few seconds before looking back up at Reynard. "You don't seriously expect me to open this, right?"
He rolled his eyes, as if the notion of some sort of trap was completely absurd. "I'm really trying to help you be more independent here, son, but since it's your big day I guess I can spoil you a little longer." He twirled his cane and it shot a burst of compressed air at the gift box, effectively opening it for him.
Nick stepped back a bit, remaining on-guard until he saw nothing attacking or otherwise endangering him. In fact, what was in the box was more of a danger to everyone else. "You got me another taser?" he asked, bending over to pick up the weapon. It was fairly lightweight, with two curved prongs on the end that would be triggered with the push of a button. So the kind of taser that you needed to be up close to use, but it still made for a baffling choice of gift.
"It was so terribly irresponsible of the ZPD to take yours away," Reynard said. "I hope that type of model is enough to suit your fancy. It's very advanced."
"Not sure yet. Come a little closer and I'd be happy to test it out."
Reynard did exactly that, coming a little closer as he began to descend the stairs from his throne. "I had to give you a fighting chance, Nicholas. I'm the one holding all the cards here." In case his pun wasn't obvious enough, he removed the five crime lord playing cards from his hat and waved them around a bit before stuffing them into his suitcoat. "And you have no idea what I'm really capable of."
"Really? I don't?" Nick stepped forward again. "Then please, enlighten me. I've been dying to know what insane gambit you've got up your sleeve. Holding my friends hostage? Brainwashing me into compliance? Blasting me into space and blowing up the city out of spite? Come on, this is a surprise party, right? Then surprise me!"
Reynard reached the bottom of the stairs, throwing out his arms in a grandiose shrug. "I killed the Junior Ranger Scouts." A party popper blew from his cane. "Surprise."
Nick froze up. "You...you what?"
"Those Junior Ranger Scouts that muzzled you when you were a kit?" he clarified. "Burnt them to a crisp. Their bus too. If you want, I could flash back to it again. That's always fun."
"Ahahahahahahaha!" Reynard laughed maniacally, the heat of the blaze-
"Hell no!" Finnick cut him off. Despite having heard that story before, he was still shocked. "Now you tell him?!"
Nick glanced down at his partner. "You knew?"
"Yeah, and it's about the most foxed up thing I've ever heard. Enough that he said he didn't wanna share it with you. And I didn't either because that is not something you just tell someone about!"
He nodded in understanding, looking back at Reynard. "If that was your attempt to drive a wedge between us again, you'll have to try a lot harder. But thanks for making it so much easier to take you down, and it wasn't gonna weigh on my conscience to begin with." Nick grimaced in disgust, a red balloon rolling by that he stomp-popped. "Seriously, what the hell, Dad? How much of a monster do you have to be to get your sick point across? Is there some kind of quota you're trying to fill?"
"To be fair, it'd be more accurate to say I started being a monster at that point. Kinda blew my load too early, really." Reynard let out a shaky breath as his mask fell again. "Truly, it was the most horrific thing I've ever done..."
And his mask came back up. "But also the most hilarious! You would not believe the utility of jokes about burning small children!"
"Wow."
Mask off. "I can still hear their screams...so young...so innocent…"
Mask on. "But let's be real, we all know they would've just grown up into villains themselves anyway. Much less stylish ones, I might add. I did you and the world a favor!"
"I've heard enough." Nick walked up to the side of the roller coaster, slamming a paw on it. "Get over here and I'll show you how I'm going to end my birthday!"
"What's wrong, son?" Reynard asked, stepping up to the other side. "I'd keep that temper in check if I were you. Remember what happened last time? You wouldn't want to let the hate flow through you again, would ya?"
Nick gritted his teeth, fingers clasping around the taser as he reached for the trigger. The two foxes' faces were mere inches apart, leaning across the coaster at each other.
"He doesn't have to."
Completely forgetting about the third fox already standing atop one of the seats. "I've got enough hate for the both of us!"
Reynard had the perfect wisecrack prepared to both figuratively and literally knock him back down again, but the world would never hear it as Finnick's bat collided with his chin and slammed his jaw shut. The older fox staggered back and then fell onto the stairs, slumping over.
Finnick took a moment to admire the stain that was left on his weapon. "Huh. Aimed too high. That's a first."
Nick grumbled, letting his own weapon rest again. "Can I get the chance to use one of these things again, please?"
"Sorry, Nick. Fortune favors the bold. But if we ever have to deal with my psycho dad, you can zap him like a damn Pikachu."
"I did not peg you as someone into Packmon."
"Drug running wasn't the only hobby I picked up while you were away. We've got a lot of catching up to do. And then you can join me on Team Instinct because to hell with conformity."
Nick went to give his friend a pat on the back and an encouraging nod, but the friend was no longer there, struck with a projectile that flung him clear over the side of the coaster and onto the floor again.
"FINN!" Nick rushed to the fennec's side, but could find no sign of outward injury. That was the good news.
The bad news was that he had just been splattered with a very familiar purple blotch. "Nick...r-run…" Finnick strained, the last words he could get out before being replaced by growls.
"Night Howler…"
"It ain't a hustle this time, sweetheart," Reynard coughed, still slumped against the stairs and pointing the end of his cane at Finnick's convulsing form. "Just something long overdue."
"Cause and effect," Reynard said, dusting off his paws as Koslov threw the newly savage Fangs and Boomer into the back of his van and shut them in. He dug another Night Howler pellet out of his front pocket and examined it in admiration. "These little guys really pack a punch. I'll get some fun out of my new toys yet." He dropped the pellet into the mouth of his cane, electing to save it for a special occasion.
"Anton Chekhoof called…" A bloody grin returned to Reynard's muzzle. "Says ya found his gun!"
Nick backed away quickly as Finnick let out a snarl and rolled onto all fours, his eyes slitted and looking ready to rip his face off for real. He knew better than to waste time trying to reason with his old friend, so Nick did the only thing he could think of, hopping into the roller coaster car and holding his new taser at the ready. He was prepared to use it if he had to this time, only hoping that Reynard hadn't rigged it with 9,000,000 volts or something.
But as he pressed the button to prime it, something much less expected happened. The two prongs on the end of the device shifted apart, allowing for a metallic, rectangular frame to fold out between them. The prongs moved back in to press against the frame, bringing it to life with a brilliant blue beam. The final result looked a lot like something copyrighted, but the way the electricity crackled made it clear that it was still just a taser, albeit one more befitting of the setting.
"Told you it was advanced." Reynard jumped into the same car, now separated from his son only by the seating. "Bet the ZPD never let you have a taserblade even when you were in their good graces."
Nick didn't bother to question it and turned the newfound weapon on his father, stumbling a bit as the savage Finnick charged into the side of the car.
"Aww, look at the little guy, he can't get up!" Reynard took a moment for some petty taunting as Finnick made a few attempts to jump up at him, almost getting his paws over the side before scrambling and falling off again. Then he turned to the side as Nick took a swing at him, the taserblade sparking loudly as it struck metal. "Oh, are you ready to get started then?"
"The opposite of that." Nick growled almost as violently as his fallen friend, no longer able to look at Finnick but having no problem keeping a glare on his father. "And just to be clear, this isn't you corrupting me or whatever. I'm just very pissed off and I want you to go down hard."
"Then let's celebrate this special occasion together!" He tapped his cane twice on the metal flooring and the roller coaster shot away, out of the giant ear canal and into the stars.
Nick fell back into the seat behind him, looking back reflexively. He may not have wanted to, but he caught one last glimpse of Finnick inside, snarling viciously at what he hoped was Reynard. Even under these circumstances, Nick couldn't help but feel that he was leaving him behind again.
But this time he was going to save him.
Mr. Reynard's Wilde Ride
11:31 PM
The coaster zoomed out along the track, forcing Nick to adjust quickly to keep his balance lest he fall over again, or worse, fall off. Even the track appeared to be electrified, essentially trapping him here with Reynard, and Reynard with him.
If there was one thing he didn't miss about having a tie, it was the sensation of it flapping all over the place during high winds, as was happening to the tie's new owner right now. Not that the older fox seemed to mind, still grinning as widely as ever as the ride slowed to a crawl, approaching a tall ramp. "Check it out, son. Now we're both improperly riding a vehicle. It's hereditary!"
"I already shelved that joke," Nick countered, holding his taserblade in a way that he hoped looked threatening. It was a little hard to gauge with something that resembled a children's toy. "Just like I'm gonna shelve you."
"Well, excuse me for being derivative!" Reynard gave his cane's headpiece a squeeze and yanked on it, causing the rest of the cane to split open down the middle and a crimson red beam to ignite. He held his own taserblade at the ready.
"Yeah, actually? No. After murdering kits and Night Howlering one of my best friends, I'm not going to excuse you for anything ever again."
Surprisingly, this didn't cause his mask to falter, not even a little. John Wilde had been shoved aside and Count Reynard was determined to remain the ringmaster. "If that's what you need to stay properly motivated, then so be it."
The coaster began to climb the ramp, Reynard showing no difficulty remaining upright as he looked down at his son. "But let's make this a little more interesting, shall we? Fox office bomb."
With that voice command triggered, a new pattern appeared in the starscape surrounding them. It was another constellation, a gigantic digital timer currently frozen at ten minutes. "What did you do?" Nick demanded.
"I just sent a command to my cane, which sent a command to my control center, which sent a command to all those remote bombs I have scattered throughout the city. In ten minutes, they'll...hold on, ten is a little overdone." He grabbed both of the headpiece's ears and gave each of them a few nudges to the left and right, the giant timer changing accordingly. "There, that's more apropos. In seven minutes and seventy-seven seconds, they'll give you an even bigger fireworks show!"
"That's not how time works."
"Pretty sure this setting isn't scientifically accurate either. See who you're dealing with yet? I can break the laws of mammals, physics, space, and time!"
"So you've just gone full supervillain now, huh?" asked a very unimpressed Nick.
"The likes of which no ordinary cop can hope to stand against. Is that what you are, son? Ordinary? Because this scenery paints a very different picture!" He gestured around them, at the many other constellations showing off Nick and his deeds. "If I'm a supervillain, then I daresay this looks like a job for a supercop."
"I'm not a cop at all thanks to you!"
"Maybe you don't have the uniform or the badge anymore, but you wouldn't be here without the attitude," Reynard replied, taserblade pointed sharply at his chin. "Once just a shady pawpsicle seller, now standing at the very edge of the cosmos, ready to fight for your city. I don't know how Twitchy ever got to be the main protag; your story is so much more engaging! You deserved top-billing from day one!" The coaster reached the top of the ramp, dipping over the incline. "But I'm not going easy on you this time, boy, so you better stay on your toes. Or I'm gonna do to you what I just did to the fourth wall!"
Knowing what was coming, Nick braced himself. It was like the usual feeling one got at the top of a roller coaster but multiplied tenfold.
It descended, rapidly picking up speed and threatening to knock both foxes over. Nick took advantage of this, using the momentum to lunge at Reynard with a swing of his taserblade. Reynard swiftly blocked it with his own, locking both blades together and leaving Nick's scowl facing Reynard's grin until the coaster leveled out again.
They stayed like that for a few seconds longer, but Nick noticed the giant 7:77 timer start to count down and knew he didn't have any more seconds to waste. Not being able to kick his father with the seat in the way and not quite willing to resort to headbutting yet, Nick played a little dirty right off the bat and spat in his face.
"Ack!" Reynard recoiled. "Was that just you making a statement or an actual tactical-AGGGH!"
Nick had struck him in the side with his taserblade, sending a painful electric shock through the older fox that caused him to lurch. "Yes."
Yet he remained standing. "Huff...as you can see, I toned down the shockage a bit to-" He leapt back as Nick swung at him again. "Let me finish!"
"If you don't want me to rush, then don't put the fate of my city on a time limit!"
The coaster turned to the right to pass by a giant moon structure, a lupine face clearly imprinted on its surface with a tongue hanging out and X's for eyes. As Nick pressed his assault, Reynard blocked every swing until he was finally forced to duck, the sword only catching his top hat to send it flying off the coaster and onto the moon. It landed under the treads of a black lunar rover, crushing it mercilessly.
Reynard parried Nick's next attack, knocking his sword to the side before shoving him back and hopping seats to reach the next car on the coaster. Nick climbed over to pursue him when Reynard showed that his cane still maintained its other functions by splattering black ink on the floor where he'd just been standing. The younger fox slipped and fell back, catching himself on the seat behind him. Reynard raised his taserblade, forcing Nick to fight the momentum of the moving coaster and fling himself to the side to dodge it. Reynard's sword sparked harmlessly on cheap vinyl, giving Nick another opening to strike him.
There was a small click as he swung, and a huge cloud of smoke suddenly concealed his father's position. Nick hit nothing but space air, but was only blinded for a second as the moving ride quickly brought him out of the smoke again. It was enough time for Reynard to move back another car though, his cane now pointed at him.
Nick ducked to avoid the projectile he launched at him, but came back up too quickly as he failed to recognize it as a flash bomb until it exploded. That moment of clarity was immediately followed by a complete lack of it, the flash blinding him much more effectively as his eyes snapped tightly shut.
"Smile for the cameras, son! And please, put in a better performance than that."
Reynard's taunting voice was far closer than he appeared to be a second ago. That was the only hint Nick got to raise his sword and block the next strike that came at him. Reynard responded with an unnecessary spin swing that mainly just looked cool but nonetheless hit his impaired son in the back.
Nick let out a jittery scream and nearly slipped on the ink again, his paws just clasping the seat to prevent it. Given his checkered past, he had certainly seen the bad end of a taser before, and with the lessened shock, he only remained stunned long enough to let his vision come back. From that position, he swung upwards and caught Reynard off-guard, only nicking his front but knocking off the button that kept the two sides of his suitcoat together. It also sent his tie up into his face, and Nick took that opportunity to forego the sword fight entirely and just tackle him into the next car.
It was a calculated risk. Both father and son got shocked in the impact and both of them went down, lying on the floor of the car together and staring up at the multitude of fiery Poker chips that streaked overhead like comets. Nick could also see the giant timer as it just hit five minutes, giving him that extra boost to recover faster and elbow Reynard in the chest as he propped himself back up again. He took that lying down, but still managed to reach out and grab Nick's ankle, tripping him so that he fell forward and hit his chin on the edge of the car.
As they both stood back up, the coaster started to bob violently over a series of ramps, allowing passage to a variety of black spacecraft that passed underneath. Disoriented as they both were, that first incline sent them tumbling into the next seat and they continued tumbling with each one after, trading a few blows but now consciously avoiding getting too close to each other again. They soon ended up in the very last car together, Reynard finally digging his claws into the seat to keep from going over again. Nick, briefly distracted by the sight of a "JRS" ship perpetually engulfed in flames, wasn't so lucky. "N-Nicholas!" Reynard cried out, extending a paw to grab him.
He was too late, and could only watch in horror as his son went over the back.
Then he sprung up again. Then fell again.
Nick clung for dear life to the fox tail on the back of the coaster, it being the only thing keeping him from either falling onto the electrified rail or instead falling all the way to the distant ground. Not being fond of heights was now something else he could relate to Finnick about. I know this isn't really outer space, but it might as well be!
"Grab my paw!" a panicked Reynard shouted, stretching his arm closer.
As contrarian as he was feeling tonight, Nick knew his chances were better with Reynard than with gravity. He reached for his paw, but the undulating of the tail threw off his balance and flung him off again.
Only to now land on an artificial asteroid. The coaster had just entered a whole field of them, all in the shape of dice and suspended from the ceiling by thick cables. The track looped around them a few times in an upward spiral, the coaster slowly making the climb.
"You're gonna give me a heart attack, boy!" Reynard yelled after him as it circled around. "Even I'm not morbid enough to make a 'die' joke about this, so get back here this instant!"
"Honestly, the company's better over here!"
"You know, the purpose of keeping us on this ride together was so I couldn't get away from you again! I thought you might appreciate that, but I guess I should know better by now!"
"You really really should!" Don't look down. Not yet spiteful enough to drop his only weapon, Nick kept a firm grasp on the taserblade and a firmer grasp on the cable holding him up. From there, he began to climb upwards, jumping clumsily from space rock to snake-eyed space rock as he followed after the coaster.
"Have it your way! BANZAI!" Reynard launched fireworks from the end of his cane, all missing Nick and exploding somewhere in the mass of asteroids below him.
While looking cool, they did little to slow his ascent, and as Nick spied the giant timer hitting three-and-a-half minutes, he decided he had climbed high enough. While standing atop one asteroid, he grabbed on to another, pulling it back and then swinging it at Reynard like a pendulum. It put an immediate end to his dazzling barrage on account of shattering his glasses, hitting just high enough to avoid doing the same to every bone in his muzzle. As the asteroid swung back towards Nick, he hopped onto it and rode it back to the ride as it circled around again, landing in the frontmost car.
Reynard tossed the remains of his glasses off the coaster and looked to his son now on the opposite end. "Joke's on you, those weren't even prescription. Now are you gonna come back over here or what?"
Nick shrugged. "Thought I'd make you chase me this time around. Seems only fair."
"Maybe, but I don't think you have the time to waste on such games."
"Maybe, but I think you'll play anyway rather than let me waste it."
"And you'd be right." As the track straightened out again, Reynard shot another flash bomb across the entire length of the coaster at him.
Nick shut his eyes and swung the taserblade, sending the projectile off into the cosmos before it exploded. Reynard instantly followed up with another blast of ink that Nick opened his eyes just in time to duck. Then came a shot of chocolate milk of all things that would've only been dangerous if Nick spent too long gaping at the absurdity. But he had embraced the madness long ago and ducked that too. With each attack, Reynard hopped one car forward, merely keeping his son on-guard while he gradually made it back up to him.
"Ha! Finally got it!" Now just one car away, Reynard was close enough that Nick countered his next attack by just hitting his taserblade to the side with his own, sending a flurry of itching powder flying off. "Oh, you would!"
"Keep you from getting what you want? Absolutely!"
"Then how do you feel about falling off again? Because we're about to hit the loop-de-loop."
"Y-You put a loop-de-loop on this?!"
"You know this setpiece wouldn't be complete without a loop-de-loop!"
While Nick may have been behaving a bit recklessly in regards to heights before, he wasn't taking chances with this. He saw Reynard dig his claws into the seating again for dear life and quickly did the same. Seconds later, they were both lifted off, their legs dangling below as they hung upside-down. Still holding his taserblade, one of Nick's paws came free from the upholstery and he accidentally looked down.
What lied below was a horrifying sight, and not just the hundred-foot drop into darkness. The loop was passing over an artificial sun, glowing brightly and emblazoned with Nick's image. Surrounding it was a whole miniature solar system, each individual planet enclosed within a manila file folder. He had to ask. "What is that?"
Reynard looked obscenely proud of himself. "Plan-ets revolving around the son."
The look of disgust Nick shot him was comparable to hearing about those dead scouts. "You need to be stopped."
"Why does everyone get on my case about the puns? Have you seen the world we live in?"
Nick took a swing at him, the shocked Reynard hastily bringing down his own sword to block him. "C-Careful there, Nicholas. You might actually make me fall here."
"Would that stop the timer?"
"Well, it'd probably break my cane and that would stop it."
"Good to know," he said, swinging again. "Protect and serve, remember? If saving hundreds of lives means ending yours, then that's kinda my civic duty. So either drop the cane or I'm dropping you."
Reynard parried a few more blows but didn't dare strike back. "Come on, I can't die by falling! That's so standard! I deserve a better death!"
Okay, so maybe I've taken this whole thing just a BIT too far.
That's pretty hard to dispute, Dad.
I'm doing this for you, son!
But Reynard held out long enough for the coaster to level out again, the curve dropping them both into the frontmost car. The older fox got back up first. "Phew. That was a close one. Almost could've-GAAAH!"
He fell back against his own giant head, body pulsing with its latest shock treatment. Nick glanced up at the timer above them. One minute left. "Give. Me. That. Cane!" He attempted to pry it from Reynard's grasp only to get kicked back by his spasming leg. Reynard half-lunged, half-stumbled towards him, attempting a stab that Nick dodged, getting the pointed tip stuck in the seat behind him. Nick moved quickly and locked one of his arms around Reynard's extended one, holding on tight as the coaster headed for one final descent.
"Hey! Leggo my ego!"
"This might be your idea of the future, Dad, but I'm taking back mine! And you know what?" He reached out to grab hold of the bloodstained tie wrapped around his father's neck. "I'm taking this back too." Then he lifted his leg and kicked him.
The grinning brooch went flying off as Reynard fell back, releasing his hold on the cane and tumbling over the front of the coaster. He slid down the Reynard head and ended up clinging to his own muzzle, screaming as the coaster rocketed downward but still taking the time to glare at himself. "What are you looking at?"
Mr. Reynard's Wilde Ride reached the end of the track, ejecting its namesake with enough force to send him skidding across the glossy floor. Nick reattached his tie, actually tying it himself for the first time in ages, and hopped out of the coaster with both taserblades in tow. He was more than happy to threaten Reynard with dual-wielding action. "How do I turn off zappy mode?"
Flat on his ass, nose pointed to the stars above, he answered. "You gotta…boop…the snoot."
Nick tossed his own taserblade aside and booped Reynard's, turning it back into a seemingly normal cane. He looked up at the timer above, now passing the twenty second mark.
"At least let it dip into single digits," Reynard suggested. "More dramatic impact that way."
"You want dramatic impact? How about this?" Nick lifted the cane above his knee and…
*KR-KRACK!*
…snapped it in two.
He dropped both halves of the cane, which began to spark violently. Ink poured from its eyes and milk from its mouth, its ears let out static screeches from a broken mic, flaming itching powder shot from its nose, and then the whole thing imploded, its pieces sucked into a miniature black hole that then collapsed on itself and disappeared into the ether.
Count Reynard's cane died as it had lived: improbably.
"NO! That was a Kitsmas present! Why do you hate Kitsmas, son?!"
The timer froze on twelve seconds, then blinked away completely. Nick kicked the remaining taserblade back up into his paw, advancing on Reynard with it. "Not so tough without your gimmick stick, are you?"
Reynard sat up, panting from exertion and stress unfit for a fox his age.
Damn those swords. I knew the shocks were a bad idea, but it had to look flashy enough.
Come on, Dad. Get up. This isn't over yet.
I'm not sure I can.
You really wanna pull the "I've fallen and I can't get up" card? That's the worst card in your entire deck and you know it! Get up!
Yes...I must. There is still more to be done. Thank you, Nicholas.
You're welcome, you sorry excuse of a parent. Now what are you waiting for?
Reynard scrambled away from his actual son and backed up against the wall, painted black with a star pattern like the rest of the dome. "Now, now, let's not get hasty. I'm not the one you want to arrest here. He is." He pointed off to the left.
"Yeah, I'm not falling for that."
"Then I've taught you well." Fumbling behind him, his paw grasped hold of a concealed handle. "But you really are letting Twitchy rub off on you!"
He pushed back and a door opened. Nick rushed after him, only to see Reynard's grin vanish behind it before he got there. He slammed on the hard surface, desperately trying to open it again, but though he had his tie back, his lucky lockpicks would not help him here. "You are not getting away again!"
A loud, mechanical roar startled Nick enough to knock him off his feet.
Actually, it was more of a loud, mechanical gekker.
"Don't worry about that, son! I'm not going ANYWHERE!"
His mind forcibly taken off of dispensing vulpine justice for a moment, Nick thought back to what Finnick had warned him about. A secret lab in the back of Reynard's "space land", hidden behind a door covered in "stars and shit". Finnick hadn't been able to learn what he was building back there before he got kicked out, but Nick knew he was about to find out the hard way.
He was only just getting back up when a sudden ripple through the ground nearly toppled him again. Followed by another, and another, accompanied by a low stomping sound that gradually grew closer. While Nick didn't know what it was exactly, he had seen enough kaiju movies to have an idea and quickly backed away.
The sound stopped, and then the wall exploded, forcing him to shield his eyes. When he opened them again, he saw that a giant metal fist had plowed through the wall. It extended a single finger, then wagged it at him condescendingly.
Nick held up the taserblade, which felt akin to a butter knife now, not sure what his next move was. He knew it was impossible to be prepared for anything, but he certainly wasn't prepared for the impossible!
"Sorry to give you a present that's already gone obsolete. Technology advances so quickly these days! Like that cane you destroyed. Once Dr. Hareison's greatest achievement, but now you'll see just how far he's come since!" Another fist punched through the wall, its very existence a mocking gesture in and of itself. Then both of them slammed into the floor hard enough to actually knock Nick over again.
What now? He didn't think his sword was up to the task of trimming the thing's claws let alone doing any real damage.
The fists unclenched, those claws digging into the flooring, used as leverage for the rest of the machine to start busting through.
"For you, son, there are no lengths I won't go!"
That whole section of the wall shook and buckled.
"No lines I won't cross!"
Then it visibly cracked.
"No sharks I won't jump!"
Before it collapsed completely. From the opening emerged a very large, very artificial version of Nick's own head. The real Nick stood only as tall as its Reynard-like grin, which would've looked unnatural on his face even if it wasn't literally manufactured on. If he were feeling bold, he might just fit snugly inside one of its nostrils, but that seemed about the most he was going to inconvenience it at the moment.
And if all that wasn't bad enough, the damn thing was wearing a suit, just one painted on. This, combined with the giant pair of shades it wore, made this version of Nick look both as dangerous and as dickish as possible.
"MEET ROBO REYNARD JUNIOR! RRJ for short." Steam hissed around the edges of the head and the top half of its face popped open to show Reynard sitting inside the cockpit. He held tightly to two big levers that were both visually identical to his former cane and the rest of the interior was filled with switches and buttons whose purpose Nick didn't even want to fathom. For some reason, there was also a cappuccino machine set up that Reynard took a cup from, chugged it, then tossed it into a nearby trash receptacle. "Doc was right. Worth the effort."
"You seriously built a giant robot?" Nick asked, left with no other recourse but to try and make sense of this.
"I think the proper term is giant mecha, but that doesn't roll off the tongue as well. What do you think? Pretty cool, huh?"
"It's an affront to science, nature, and my charming good looks!"
"Aww come on, can't we have a little fun with this?" Reynard urged, putting his paws out and shaking his head in a gesture that he then made RRJ mimic. "After all it took to get this far, you didn't really think that whole roller coaster duel was adequate for the big endgame, did you? Now this right here, this is some A+ final boss material!"
"It's some A+ something alright," Nick muttered, caught off-guard when one of the robot's metal paws reached down and grabbed the taserblade, lifting Nick off the ground with it. The weapon sizzled in its grasp, but had absolutely no effect. It released its hold soon after, Nick falling back to the surface with the crumpled remains of the taserblade lying next to him. "And that is at least an A-!"
"Like I said, your present is obsolete," Reynard remarked. "Not to mention totally unlicensed for law enforcement. But not to worry, I got you a replacement gift that's already been tested out by one of your cop buddies!"
Nick heard other vehicles coming in from behind him, and as much as he didn't want to turn away from the mechanical monstrosity he now faced, he was just too curious at this point. A pair of black bumper cars seemingly driven by much smaller Reynard robots passed by, depositing a slim, white vintage motorcycle before racing off again. It looked to have been very recently polished and touched up. "Who did you steal this from?" he immediately asked. This was like his 8th birthday all over again.
"Your #2 fan, Officer Snowflake. He called it Dinosaur Killer."
"And you expect me to, what, ride it? Drag this out even further with some epic bike chase? Why should I?" Nick challenged. "You gonna set another timer if I don't?"
"The timer served its purpose, but do you honestly need one? Is that the only thing keeping you here? Or are you here because you know that if you don't do this, your big metal brother and I will be free to keep wreaking havoc all over your beloved Zootopia? Especially with the unfortunate demise of your little plush brother that needs to be avenged. Sorry, but you don't get to just walk away from me this time and you know it!"
He did, he just wanted to hear him say it. Nick got on the bike. "Fine. If winning by not playing isn't an option anymore, then I can settle for winning by winning."
"YES! That's what I like to hear!" RRJ's cockpit closed up again, Reynard's voice continuing to boom from inside of it. "All eyes are on us, Nicholas! It's time to show this city just what kind of fox you really are! Take all the tricks you've learned from both sides of the law and BEAT ME BLOODY WITH THEM!"
RRJ stepped out of the ruined lab. It was quadrupedal, remaining on all fours even when it could comfortably stand up on its hind legs without hitting the ceiling. The whole thing was about half the size of a football field from its chrome head to the tip of its segmented tail, but every inch of it was fearsome and fashionable. "Now...let's play some final boss music."
Ominous chanting filled the air.
"QUASI VULPES RABIDUS!"
"QUASI VULPES RABIDUS!"
Down below its chin, Nick Wilde backed away slowly, eyes wide and paws trembling.
Then he turned and drove like hell.
Remember the days when a chapter just over 10k was frightening rather than a breath of fresh air? The more genre savvy among you probably suspected something fishy about that.
Truthfully, the main purpose of this chapter was to drop a lot of exposition regarding what Reynard might be up to (and what he's NOT up to) while also providing a well-needed break in the action and establishing what space land is like. The whole roller coaster segment afterward was mostly to have something else besides that and give one last showing to Reynard's cane before putting it out to pasture. To continue the final boss analogy, it was that suspiciously easy first form before getting to the real deal.
As for Robo Reynard Junior, said real deal, there's a very good reason it's getting an entire other chapter dedicated to it. If you're familiar with my Kung Fu Panda fics "Tournament of Legends" or "Shen vs. Kai", then you have an idea of the kind of scale that's going into this. And going into it immediately because it's the very next thing we're working on as soon as this goes up, no drabbles in-between. I have been personally looking forward to writing this part for literal years and I'm just as excited to get to it as you are. :)
(And in case you're wondering, Packmon is short for "Package Monsters". Jack came up with that and I am very proud of him for it.)