So this chapter is not linked to the previous 2.
The idea here being that Bilbo travelled with the dwarves and they get a little bit of a surprise when they meet Bard. Yes the Dwarves are in denial here and are a little bit thick in not picking up the cues. What can you do with the precious numptys?
And an Alfrid with a crush on Bilbo was just too much fun to pass up :)
Hope you enjoy.
Their will be a part 2 coming soon :)
X

The Dwarves all froze in their places upon seeing the arrow split the piece of drift wood Dwalin held above his head. Then not even a moment later another sent a rock flying from Kili's hand. The young Dwarf hadn't even had the time to throw it before the Man had released his arrow without a moment's hesitation. They dared not move. This Man would kill them if they gave him a reason.

He stood on the rocks looking down upon them, he had the advantage.

They couldn't make out his feature as he stood with the light to his back but thy could see clearly the quiver's black outline and knew he could take out more than one of them before they could get close enough to attack.

"Do that again," he growled, "and your dead,"

His sight was fixed on Kili.

A tense silence fell when the soft squelching of waterlogged clothes could be heard and Bilbo Baggin's the company burglar climbed to her furry feet and staggered from behind one of the rocks by the river side.

Bofur had forgotten helping her that far before he had been side-tracked by the youngest prince's cry of pain. She had sent him off to help the lad.

She looked half drowned. Her hair no longer curled but hanging flat from the weight of the water. Her clothes were still dripping and she was shivering slightly, using the rock to support herself while taking in the scene.

Despite the circumstances she had a soft smile on her lips as she looked up at their attacker.

The Dwarves didn't know who they should be watching. Their Burglar or this Man.

"Really love, it is no wonder you have so few friends if this is how you go about introductions," she spoke lightly, as though he wasn't pointing an arrow at them. And then what she had said began to sink in.

Love?

Through the course of the journey Bilbo had proved to be an affectionate soul towards the younger members of the company but a pet name for their potential murderer was taking it too far.

The Man lowered his weapon, the soft creak of the wood a welcome noise and stepped down from the rock.

No longer standing silhouetted they could make out his face now. Lines caused more by burdens than age etched upon it. Dark hair with wisps of grey.

"Bilbo," he sighed the name and rushed towards their Burglar.

They watched, mouths open like fish upon the beach as he took their Burglar into his arms and held her close. And then, he kissed her on the forehead. They could hear their Burglar sigh.

Not a stranger then…

They stood awkwardly now as the Man loaded the boat with the empty barrels. They felt at a loss. This Man was obviously someone close to Bilbo and yet they had been under the impression that their Burglar had never been further than the bottom of her garden.

They had remained silent as the Man had lifted her up and glaring at them all as he past, stalked to his boat and wrapped the soaking wet, shivering Hobbit in his coat. The garment which had been a good fit on the Man enveloped the small woman but she didn't seem to care as she slipped her arms into the arms of the jacket and held it tight about her. He lifted her onto one of the barrels and she arranged herself so her legs where folded beneath her and all but her face was covered by the jacket.

They couldn't fault her for it. While they had remained relatively dry within the barrels – apart from the occasional splash – Bilbo had been left to float down the river while holding on for dear life. Each of them had heard her gasps and shrieks of fright.
While the sudden appearance of this Man was confusing it did not stop Balin from trying to barter passage to Laketown with the bargeman. They all knew Thorin couldn't be relied upon to stay civil under the circumstances and thankfully he was choosing to glower quietly while looking between the Bargeman and and their Burglar. Now was not the time to get to the bottom of just how Bilbo knew him. That could wait until later.

"And why should I help you?" he asked them as he rolled another barrel onto the barge and tipped it right way up.

They all remained silent, allowing Balin to do the talking.

"Well, um," he cleared his throat nervously, "those boots have seen better days," he looked towards the Hobbit who's eyes were beginning to droop as she watched the progress of the barrels, "as has that coat,"

The Man simply quirked an eyebrow at this, seeming amused by some private thought. The attention Balin had drawn to the coat had them all looking towards Bilbo. She was flushed. Was she ill? They had been in the Elven dungeons for some time after all.

"And no doubt you have some hungry mouths to feed at home,"

The bargeman's amusement did fade slightly at this and his expression turned thoughtful.

Balin latched onto the opportunity.

"How many bairns?" he smiled.

If anything, the chance of providing for his family would have the Man assisting them in a flash.

"Three," he rumbled, "A boy and two girls,"

"And I imagine your wife is a beauty," Balin looked back at the company and winked, they would be on the barge in no time at all.

He turned back to the Man to find the amusement was back on his face and he was once again smiling at a private joke.

"Aye, she is at that,"

He rolled another barrel onto the barge but remained quiet.

Dwalin was the first to crack.

"Enough of the niceties," he snarled, from his place on the rocks.

"What's your hurry?" the bargeman called, obviously enjoying having them at his mercy like this.

"What's it to you?"

"Manners," the sleepy mumble came from Bilbo who seemed to be winning the battle to keep her eyes open. They didn't know who she was talking to. Them or the Man.

It suddenly dawned on Balin that they were still on the shore while their Burglar…was not. There was nothing to stop the Man from just going off with her. Acquaintance or not they couldn't just let the stranger sail off with their hobbit.

"I would like to know who you are and what your purpose is here?" he asked, leaning upon a barrel and waiting for Balin's reply.

It was painfully obvious that he did not believe a word Balin told him about being merchants journeying to the Iron Hills. They wouldn't believe it either.

"Simple merchants you say?" the Man loaded another barrel.

Thorin stepped forward now, listing the supplies they were in need of. They were wasting time.

"I know where these barrels came from," the man rubbed a hand over the splintered wood of one of the barrels, there was a small pile sitting on the rocks where he had pulled arrows from their transportation before rolling them to the barge.

He was no fool.

"What of it?" snapped Thorin, why couldn't they have met a greedy Man who would have taken the money and not asked questions and kept his insinuations to himself?

"I don't know what business you had with the Elves," he looked away from Thorin towards the shivering Hobbit, "but I don't think it ended well," his voice was tight and remained that way as he told them of the permission they would need to enter the town.

All hearts dropped at the thought of being locked up once again by the Master of Laketown just so he could curry favour with the Elves. Surely they hadn't escaped one prison to be cast into another?

"Really, love must you antagonise them so?" their burglars voice was thick and slightly chocked as they all tried to pay attention to the conversation without making it too obvious. Bofur hushing Dwalin before he could begin his complaints.

"You leave me in the prime of health and return to me sick and soaked to the skin, I think I will antagonise them a little more before me reach home, darling,"

Darling?

Just what didn't they know about Bilbo Baggins?

How far they had fallen. Crammed back into the barrels was one thing. But the fish was an insult that couldn't be bourn. The Man would be on the receiving end of their fists when they got free of these stinking barrels.

Sadly he seemed to be right about the need to have them hide they all recognised the sort he was dealing with.

The Dwarves listened to a feminine throat being cleared and then heard the weak voice of their burglar say hoarsely, "Good day Mr Alfrid, you are looking well,"

"Mistress, I did not know you were expected," the mincing little man stammered all hostility gone from his tone.

"Yes, my return is a little earlier than I expected,"

Return?

"Your presence will light up the town once again, mistress,"

Was that creeping little man flirting with their burglar?

For the first time since their departure from the Shire most of the Company actually thought of the fact that their Burglar was a woman. Off course they knew she was but other than mother the younger members of the company and fussing regularly she tended to just blend in with them. But now they thought of it objectively she was a bonnie woman so of course she would garner attention…

But who was this joker that he thought she would give him the time of day.

"Mr Alfrid," Bilbo sounded flustered now, uncomfortable, "your words never fail to make me blush," this little speech was concluded with a sneeze.

"Pardom the liberty Mistress. But are you well?"

"An accidental dip in the river, sir. A day or two by the fire will set me to rights,"

"I am sorry about this little misunderstanding, Mr Alfrid, I am sure that my husband ment no harm. And surely a gentleman as kind as yourself must see how much the food would be a blessing for those who need it,"

"Indeed Mistress, but my position as an official of our town, surely you understand?"

Again several of them felt their hiding places shift and lean and they braces themselves to meet the cold water once again.

"But this once perhaps. As a celebration of your return to us..."

They thanked back onto the boards of the deck. Relief flooding them. Their Burglar worked miracles it seemed and charmed weasels.

"You are most gracious Mr Alfrid,"

"Move on, Bard," the sharpness was back again and they heard the toll gate being lifted and the barge began to move.

"You my darling are dangerous," the Bargeman's deep voice drifted to them.

There was a scoffing noise and another sneeze from their burglar.

"Yes well, oh husband of mine. I was not going to risk the company being tipped into the river along with the fish,"

Husband!

The Dwarves realised that there definitely was a thing or two about their Burglar they had neglected to find out.

Hi everyone.
It has been a while *cough* years, since I've posted anything Hobbity I know.
Long story short the laptop died and took with it my story notes, outlines and multiple chapters.
I've finally been able to start getting bits and pieces off it so I'm trying to get what I can read through, edited and posted.

If you follow my Goblin Queen story I know there was at least a chapter and a half sitting on my laptop when it died and several outlined chapters so hopefully I will find them while combing through the files. Who knew there was so much guff you accumulate in a laptop memory over years…