Chapter 24. The Pens

While Edward is gone, I refocus my energy on work; it's the main point of this trip, after all.

Things are hectic, getting ready for the turtles' laying season. There are a few other scientists coming from different parts of the world, including a team from Alaska that Emmett knows and some veterinary students from Spain.

The news of the international groups coming has the locals, or at least the ones who support the poachers, up in arms, and protests are scheduled to close the two roads that lead to Tortuga Beach.

On Wednesday, it's our first overnight shift at the beach, and we are hoping to catch turtles laying their eggs so I can sample the sand and Rose can plant her decoy eggs in the nests. We'll leave the lab at noon and plan to take a nap to be ready for the all-nighter.

Half of me is excited to have my first experience with turtles laying their eggs on this beach. Costa Rica is home to the leatherback sea turtle species, one of the largest in the world, and one I have not had the pleasure of witnessing out in the wild before.

The other half of me is anxious. Even though Emmett and Jake are coming along, I fear the poachers might show up as well. The roads were closed with barricades and protests, and even though there has been police action at both sites, they remain blocked off.

Jake says to not worry, that things aren't really that bad, but I don't want to be reckless. I promised Edward I would take care of myself. Which is why I'm glad when I receive Charlie's care package on Wednesday morning.

At first glance, it appears to be only books, including two of my favorite Agatha Christie novels. However, a couple of the books are hollowed out, acting as decoys, hiding pepper spray cans inside of them. Enough for me and Rose for the remainder of the trip.

There's also a notebook in there and two pens. The pens look… important. They're heavy and metallic, and the cap is sharp and pointy. They look like they could do some damage.

The phone only rings twice before he answers, "Bella!" but I only see half of his chin in the top right corner of the screen. "I can't find the charger."

"Hi, Dad…"

"I swear it was here somewhere!" There's rummaging and then the screen falls on the floor and all I see is the living room's beige carpet. "Okay, I don't know where it is." His face is on the screen then, and he smiles. "Hi...I've got 15%."

"That should be fine." I smile back at him. "You can look for it later. Have you been using the iPad for something other than calling me?"

His mouth twists as he scowls at me. "Don't judge."

"Candy Crush? Really? Still?" I ask through a laugh.

"C'mon…it's relaxing!"

"You have a problem." I shake my head at him, still chuckling. "I think you need an intervention."

"Whatever…" He rolls his eyes while he starts moving around in the living room.

"Now I won't get you a smartphone for Christmas."

"Ha ha." He sits in his recliner. "So, what's shaking?"

"I got your care package." I shake the pepper spray in front of the camera, smiling at him.

"Oh, great!"

"What are these?" I hold the two pens in my hand in front of the camera.

"Okay, so…" He scoots up on the chair, clearly getting excited about it. "They're called tactical pens. It's a discreet and unassuming self-defense weapon."

I turn the pen in my hand, other than being slightly bigger and heavier, it doesn't look that different from a regular pen.

"That's high grade steel, Bella," he says, as if reading my unimpressed expression. "The tip is sharp, too, and can break glass."

"Oh…"

"It could not only inflict some damage, but also come in handy in a situation where you find yourself trapped."

"Okay, that's cool…"

"You gotta know how to use them though," he adds, seriously. "I sent you a YouTube video to watch."

"Oh, great, they come with homework." I joke, but he doesn't laugh. "Don't I just go whee! Whee! Whee!" I hold the pen in my fist and show him my best stabbing motion a la Psycho.

"Bella, I'm serious," he says, even though he's laughing. "But yes, fist hold is the way to go. Stabbing motion. But not like a knife. No slicing, puncturing instead. You can go for the ribs, or the neck, or the eyes..."

"Jesus…" I grimace, and he comes closer to the camera.

"Bella, if someone is coming to attack you, they are no longer a person; they're a dummy you'll put holes in with your pen."

"Dad!"

"Nothing fatal, of course," he says, nonchalantly, resting back against the chair. "Just enough to incapacitate them so you can escape."

"You are such a weirdo…"

"Watch the video I sent you," he continues, ignoring my snide comment. "Most self-defense moves you know can be paired with a pen jab."

"Okay, I'll watch it before I head out tonight. We have our first overnight beach watch."

"Oh, who's going?"

"Rose and me, Prof. McCarty, and Jake, the conservationist guy."

"Okay, the other pen is for Rose, so teach her how to use it."

Charlie doesn't ask about Edward, so I don't tell him either. He says he's also taking a nap, since he's on the night shift, so I let him go.

I watch the nearly six minute video from Xtreme Training Academy, and then I practice some moves in front of the mirror. I'm holding the pen in a fist, right in the middle of a hi-ya, when Rose and Emmett come back.

"Jesus Christ, Bella!" Rose startles at the door while Emmett laughs behind her. "You're such a fucking weirdo."

"C'mon, I'll show you." I grab her pen from the bed and hand it to her.

"Ugliest pen I have ever seen. Who do I have to thank for this?"

"Charlie, of course." I wrap her fingers around it, in an ice pick hold. "Okay, Emmett, attack me from the back."

"I will do no such thing." He sits on Rose's bed and yawns, reaching for her arm. "I thought we were napping."

"What if someone attacks us tonight?"

"Who is going to attack us, Bella?" Rose looks at me while moving between Emmett's legs. "I think you've read one too many mystery novels."

"Jake and I will be there, Bella. It will be fine," Emmett adds.

"Do you even know how to fight?" I ask him, one eyebrow arched, because he may be big, but he's a total softy.

"When they see these…" He lifts his arms, flexing his biceps. "I won't even need to."

I'm thinking of a snarky remark, but then Rose moans—she fucking moans—grabbing onto his bulged arm. When she straddles him on the bed, I bolt for the door. "You guys are gross," I say, closing the door, leaving them and Rose's giggles behind me.

Pen in fisted hand, I continue my life-saving, self-defense practice out against a palm tree. I have no idea what I'm doing or whether this would work, but at least it's a good workout, or if nothing else, a way to let out my frustrations.

I end up napping in the hammock in the station's courtyard, afraid to return to our cabin and catch Rose and Emmett...not napping.

~~o~~

It's dark out when we walk to the now-empty beach, but the moonlight illuminates the sand and water enough to get a good view of most of the perimeter. We set our blankets on the sand, and Jake passes around coffee in a thermos.

We sit, drink coffee, and wait.

Rose and Emmett share a blanket, and cuddles, while I avoid looking at them. Jake sits next to me, his eyes on the sand, focused on the task at hand.

It's not like we can talk, or do really much else, since we don't want to disturb the area and scare the turtles away.

Several times I think I hear sounds behind us, but when I turn around, there's no one there. Jake seems relaxed, so I calm down as well.

I go on my stomach, propped on my elbows, and try to keep my eyes on the water, but they dart over to Edward's hill, still dark and empty. I wonder where he is and whether he's thinking about me.

I must doze off because next thing I know, I'm being gently awakened by Jake's hand on my shoulder, and the sun is coming out.

"Crap, I'm sorry!" I sit up, startled. Jake is crouching next to me, his eyes reddened and tired, but with a friendly smile on his face.

"No worries," he says, getting up. "I stood guard all night, but they didn't come." He gestures to the water and the elusive turtles that stood us up. "I would have woken you otherwise."

"Oh, bummer." I look around the beach in disappointment.

"I'm going to head home and catch some sleep," Jake says through a yawn, taking a couple steps back. "You can take care of those two?" He points to Emmett and Rose, wrapped up in each other on the blanket, fast asleep.

I wake the love birds, and we head to the cabins, hoping next time we do a night watch we catch more action on the beach.

~~o~~

When Friday comes and the week ends, I grow anxious at Edward's absence. The roads opened yesterday, and he's still not back. I climb up his hill, to the cliff where he parks his van, but he's still gone.

I lie down on the flat rock, look up at the afternoon sky, and think about him. I'm not angry that he left, but I miss him. I'm worried about him. I close my eyes and think about our kiss, the one only I remember. I think about how he held me against his body. How his fingers dug into my skin. How his hair felt under my fingers. Just the image of him in my head makes my stomach flutter and my thighs press together.

The sound of crunching leaves startles me, and I sit up quickly, looking at the rocks, cursing not having my bag with me, or my new pen. But the noise isn't coming from the rocks; it's coming from the bushes and behind the trees.

"Bella?"

I turn around to find Seth looking at me, scratching his head.

"Seth!" I breathe out in relief. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"I'm sorry." He laughs earnestly, coming closer. "Are you looking for Edward too?"

"I was." I sit back down on the rock, and he takes the spot next to me.

"He's left again, I guess." Seth sounds bummed and I can sympathize. "I leave tonight for Jacó Beach, where WSL is." When he looks at my now-confused face, he elaborates. "The surfing competition? I was hoping maybe he'd have some tips for me."

"Oh, right. That's tomorrow?"

"Yeah…" He laughs nervously, looking at me. "You should come!"

"I don't know…" I briefly consider it. What if Edward comes back while I'm gone? "Is there a chance he'll be there?"

"Edward?" Seth asks, giving it a thought. After my near drowning, our friendship status has solidified, and even though he is still attentive, he knows now that my interest is in someone else. "I doubt it," he continues. "At least not at the competition. He never goes to those. And he never surfs there, at least not when there are other people in the water."

"Do you know what happened to him? Why did he stop surfing professionally?"

"There's been some rumors here and there. That someone drowned when out there with him. That he got badly hurt and couldn't rescue them. I don't know for sure." Seth shrugs, kicking the dirt under his feet. "It's a damn shame though." He clicks his tongue, looking down. "You should have seen him back then. There was no one like him. I have videos if you want to watch them some time."

"You have videos?"

"Yeah," he admits, sheepishly. "For research purposes."

"Admit it, Seth. You're a fanboy."

"Whatever…" He laughs, shaking his head.

We stay quiet for a while and then we both sigh at the same time.

"I wonder what happened to Edward. He hasn't said anything to anyone?"

"He really doesn't say much." Seth laughs. "He comes and goes all the time, and he never hangs out. These past few weeks have been the most I've seen of him in a row." When Seth looks up at me, he shoots me a friendly smile. "I think you might have something to do with that."

I smile too, feeling myself flush. Thinking maybe, hoping really, that it's true. I can't deny there is a connection between Edward and me, one that, inexplicably, doesn't feel one-sided.

"It's true," Seth says, looking at me. "You know when we came back from the hospital after your...accident...I ran into him as I was walking home. He wanted to know how you were. If you were okay. But he was also pissed at me and went on and on about water safety. I think he was just worried about you, but it was the most he had talked to me… ever!" Seth smiles as he lifts from the rock.

I guess Edward doesn't remember that part of the night either, as one of the first things he asked me when he woke up from his blackout was whether Seth had gone to the hospital with me.

"So yeah…" Seth continues. "You won't see me going after the only girl Edward Cullen has ever shown any interest in since he's been here." He laughs dorkily, scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh, is that why?" I tease, waggling my eyebrows, telling my heart to calm down after hearing about Edward asking about me.

"Yeah…" He flashes his full set of teeth at me. "Would I have had a chance otherwise?"

"Maybe?"

"Maybe." He wipes his hands on his shorts, looking over at the beach. "I have to get going," he says. "Do you want me to walk with you to your cabin? I'm headed over that way."

"No worries. I think I'll stay here for a bit."

"You sure?"

"I'll go back before it's dark; it's fine."

"Okay." He walks over to the rocks that go downhill before turning back to me. "Talk to Jake if you want to come to Jacó. Our van is full for tonight, but he is driving there early tomorrow morning. We'll camp on the beach until Sunday."

"All right." I smile at his retreating form. Maybe it'd be nice to get away for the weekend, and besides when will I get the chance to witness a surfing competition again? This used to be part of Edward's life too, so maybe it will help me get to know him a little better.

I scoot on the rock, bringing my legs around, and wrap my arms around my knees, looking out at the setting sun that casts an orange-yellow light over the beach.

Cheek on my knees, I look at the clear sky, but my thoughts are clouded with Edward. Where he is. What he's doing. Whether he's okay. I hope whatever he's doing helps him. And I hope that he comes back to me whole.

I think about what Seth said about Edward getting hurt while someone else drowned, and I mentally add that piece to my puzzle.

He did say that he had been hurt worse before, when he injured his ribs, and I wonder if that was what he was talking about. He also said that he tried to save someone even though he couldn't breathe.

Maybe he did just need to clear his head like he said. Me, almost drowning. Him saving me. Must have triggered all those memories in him. My heart breaks for him for what it seems the hundredth time. And I feel a little guilty for pushing him, for asking him so many questions.

Because in reality, it doesn't matter. What happened doesn't matter to me. He matters to me, and I'll let him tell me when he's ready.

~~o~~