Chapter Ten: Act II, Scene V: Shatterpoint

A/N: Some warnings for this chapter. If you've read Decadence, then you know what happens to Beth at the Quidditch World Cup, and some of the other revelations that occur over her summer.

Whilst I'm not going into heavy detail, there is a strongly implied sexual assault/rape that occurs in this chapter, which will be continued to be referenced as Beth heals from the trauma of this. I don't want to go into gory detail, but neither do I want to ignore that this is a difficult issue and that healing from it is a long journey, one that is deeply personal to me. There are also some brief, mild suicidal thoughts and a mention of self-harm.

Beth's barely-contained excitement over the impending Quidditch World Cup made the rest of the summer holidays fly by. Thomas even came home for some of it—he had an apartment in London now, closer to the Ministry. Beth was overjoyed as always to see her older brother, and she never got over how he picked her up and spun her around like they were kids again. When he set her down, they were both grinning.

"So, the Quidditch World Cup with the prats." Thomas smirked, arching an eyebrow and causing Beth to smack him in the arm.

"I've got to put up with them now. One of them is Phoenix's husband."

It was still strange to say those words, still strange that her best friend was married. Phoenix and Evan would be in Paris on their honeymoon now, and she sincerely hoped that her best friend was doing okay.

"Careful, Mum and Dad might decide that they want you to get married next."

"As if." Beth scoffed, tossing her blonde hair back. "You're older, you'd get married first."

There was a tense silence as Thomas pressed his lips into a firm line, and Beth realised that there was something her older brother wasn't telling her. She tilted her head to the side. They hadn't always been close, but they said absence made the heart grow fonder, and she found they'd become thick as thieves since he'd departed Hogwarts and no longer lived at home.

"Thomas?"

"I don't know what you want me to say, Beth." The teasing note was gone from his voice now, and he was looking anywhere but at her. "I just don't see myself getting married."

Beth realised that she had been so absorbed in herself, her break-up with Regulus and whatever was going on with Mariam, that she hadn't even thought about her brother's relationships. Come to think of it, even though he'd flirted with plenty of girls at Hogwarts, she didn't think she had ever seen him with a girlfriend.

"Thomas?" She prompted again, more gently. When he remained quiet, she pushed harder. "What, you never thought Phoenix was cute?"

"I don't like her that way." Thomas's hands were balled into fists. "I don't like girls at all that way. I never have."

Holy shit. Beth's mouth opened, and then closed again. She could see why Thomas wouldn't say anything to their parents, and hadn't said anything to her. Yet how hadn't she realised that her older brother was gay? Was he worried that she would judge? She wondered if Thomas had picked up on the truth about her, that she was bisexual.

"Okay. I won't say anything." When he reached up to rake his hair back, something on his arm caught Beth's attention and she gripped his wrist. "Wait, what's this?"

Thomas tried to snatch his arm back, but Beth had already seen the familiar black ink in the shape of a skull with a snake in its mouth. She stumbled back, pressing her hands over her mouth. Thomas had been the one to tell her she should stay away from Regulus because he was a Death Eater, and now the mark on his arm declared that he was one, too.

"Beth." Thomas saw the horror on her face and reached out to tentatively touch her shoulders. "I know it's a lot. It's becoming more and more common, okay? A lot of pure-blood families have Death Eaters in them…"

"Not you." Beth shook her head fervently, feeling childishly betrayed. "Thomas, I know you don't buy into all that bullshit. What the fuck?"

"Times are changing, Beth." Thomas exhaled slowly and released her. "We have to change with them."

"Was that what Malcolm was talking to you about in the study when the Rosiers came over for dinner that time?" Beth demanded, her resolve hardening as Thomas refused to meet her eyes once again. "He convinced you to become a Death Eater?"

"Something like that," Thomas muttered. His first secret hadn't even made her blink, other than to realise she hadn't even guessed at it. The second was far more horrific, something she had never expected of her overachieving older brother. Yet...why did it shock her? Regulus was a Death Eater. Many of the rest of his group were too.

"You wouldn't have told me." It wasn't a question. She folded her arms over her chest. "Don't I deserve to know this sort of shit?"

"This isn't about you, Beth," Thomas snapped, losing his patience at last, "The less involved you are with this, the better."

He turned and marched off before she could discourage him, making her well with disappointment. She didn't want to spend her summer holidays being angry with Thomas, but she had to wonder: if he was a Death Eater, what atrocities had he committed in the name of pure-blood supremacy?

Beth started drinking not long after they pitched the tent for the Quidditch World Cup, a pleasant tingly feeling coming over her as she took in the colourful spectacle that would make for the ultimate party. In truth, she wanted to forget about Thomas being a Death Eater. She wanted to pretend that they were normal teenagers doing normal teenage things. Fortunately, Mitchell Avery was more than happy to keep up Beth's steady supply of alcohol, offering her more shots at the slightest indication.

Phoenix and Evan arrived with some fanfare, Phoenix shrieking as Regulus hugged her like she hadn't almost broken his nose at her wedding. As they went into the tent and settled in, Lorna bombarded her with questions until Phoenix shut her up by offering to put her hair in a fishtail braid. As Lorna sat patiently, Beth went back out to join the boys.

"Looking good, Beth!" Mitchell declared loudly as she flopped down on the couch beside Regulus, who slung a casual arm around her shoulders. She knew that it was probably just a friendly gesture, but it made heat rise in her cheeks nonetheless, and a smile crossed her lips as she took another sip of her drink.

"How was the honeymoon, Evan?" Alexander Wilkes asked as he approached, filling his silver flask with something that smelled extremely strong. "Paris, right?"

"I bet it was romantic," Isaac Mulciber cackled.

"Now, don't get ahead of yourself," Mitchell chastised, taking the flask from Alexander and taking a sip, "She didn't seem too happy at the wedding. Did she ease up during the honeymoon?"

"I shagged her, if that's what you pigs are on about," Evan drawled, touching the tip of his wand to his cigarette to light it up. The other boys hooted and laughed, and Beth rolled her eyes at how stupid boys could be. All they had to do was hear about sex and they went absolutely feral about it.

"I'm going to need some of that if you're talking about this shit." Beth held her hand out impatiently for the flask, and Alexander passed it to her with a knowing grin.

"How was it?" Mitchell pressed, making Regulus screw up his face. They were, after all, talking about his twin sister. Beth was surprised when he didn't comment, leaving Evan to answer the question.

"It was really good. She's really good."

"Gits," Regulus mumbled as they started cackling again. He reached out for the flask as well, and Beth was more than happy to pass it on. Maybe it wasn't just thinking about Thomas's Dark Mark that was going to make her want to get drunk.

"Did you get her off?" Beth asked, making them lapse into surprised silence. When they all stared at her, she sighed impatiently. "Well, you all want to talk about shagging, so I'm just hoping that this was a fun experience for Phoenix as well."

Regulus snickered and quickly put a hand over his mouth to suppress the sound. Beth raised her eyebrows expectantly at Evan, who just sat there with his cigarette smoking gently between his fingers before he nodded.

"Yeah. She did...I did. I mean, she got off too."

"Good." Beth leaned back, satisfied, as Mitchell crowed with laughter and clapped his hands in delight.

"Damn, little Beth's got some balls!"

She chewed at her lip. "It's just a question."

As the flask made the rounds once again, Beth partook with enthusiasm. She liked the idea that they thought she had gumption, that she wasn't the anxious bookworm she constantly thought she came across as. Regulus kept his arm around her shoulders as they talked and drank and laughed, but Beth couldn't help but realise that Mitchell's eyes lingered on her a bit longer than usual.

By the time they returned triumphant from the game later on, Beth was already drunk. All she wanted to do was kiss Regulus, but for some reason he was avoiding getting close to her, and she worried that her drunkenness was annoying. It didn't stop her doing more shots of firewhiskey. It didn't stop her chugging from the flask while the boys cheered. It didn't stop her from jumping up on the couch to dance and spin, until the world around her was a giddy blur of light and colour.

Beth woke with a throbbing head and a dull ache between her legs. Her eyes seemed to want to stay glued shut, though after a few moments she managed to shake off the groggy feeling and bring herself to consciousness. The sound of snoring made her frown in confusion, because she hadn't remembered going to bed with anyone, or going to bed at all for that matter. Easing herself up, Beth realised she was still in her clothes from the night before.

Beside her, Mitchell was sprawled across the bed, and Beth recoiled when she realised that he was naked. Rubbing her temples and trying to process what the fuck was happening, Beth grimaced as she eased herself, the ache in her lower stomach intensifying. As she peeled back the blanket with shaking fingers, Beth realised that while she was still wearing her top and skirt from the night before, her undies were gone.

Panic rose up within Beth as she clamped her hands over her mouth. She tried desperately to remember the night before, but she couldn't recall anything past returning to the tent after the game. Scrambling to her feet, she found her undies and tugged them back on. Her heart hammered against her ribcage as she stared back at the bed where Mitchell was sprawled, utterly disbelieving of the pieces of the puzzle connecting.

Dark memories like a fog clouded her mind. She could vaguely recall a weight on top of her, but nothing more clear than that. When Beth picked up her handheld mirror from her bag, she saw that her face was streaked with mascara, like she'd been crying. She choked back a sob as realisation dawned over her.

What the fuck. What the fuck.

Mitchell was a notorious flirt, but that was all. He would never do anything more than that. They'd been drunk, this had been some kind of mistake. Yet the more Beth dwelled on it, the more she didn't buy her own excuses. She knew what had happened, she just didn't want to admit the horrific truth to herself.

"Morning, Beth." Mitchell yawned and her entire body tensed.

"Hey." Her voice was hoarse and she avoided looking at him as he rose from the bed and pulled on his clothes.

"What a wild night." Mitchell sounded amused. "I didn't realise you were so much fun."

Beth swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked away the tears that blurred at the edge of her vision. She didn't trust herself to speak. Fortunately, he didn't seem deterred by her lack of response. She busied herself playing with her hair, trying to detangle it.

"I'm going to get some food." Mitchell slipped out, and she heard his voice as he conversed with the others.

With shaking hands, Beth fixed her clothes up and made herself presentable. Maybe if she ignored this enough, it would go away. Maybe she could just act like nothing had ever happened and it would be fine. When she headed into the main compartment of the tent, Isaac and Lorna were flirting and Regulus was sitting on the couch with his arms folded over his chest. His jaw clenched when he saw her.

"Beth, can we talk?" His curt tone indicated that he wasn't impressed, but Beth just nodded, wanting something else to focus on. She followed him outside the tent, the scent of smoke from bonfires thick in the morning air.

"What's up?"

"Are you kidding me?" Regulus's expression was irate. "I thought we were trying to make things work between us, see where they went."

"Regulus, what…"

"I know what happened last night, okay?" Regulus said impatiently, cutting her off. His grey eyes flashed with hurt and anger, and the betrayed expression on his face made fresh tears well in Beth's eyes. "I'm not stupid."

"It wasn't like that," Beth protested, but he held up a hand to silence her. Maybe it was for the best, because she didn't know what the fuck she was going to say anyway.

"I didn't realise you would stoop as low as Mitchell." Regulus's voice was contemptuous, his gaze cold as it rested on her. When he turned and walked away, Beth didn't even try to stop the tears from sliding down her cheeks.

It seemed like no one left the Quidditch World Cup in a good mood. Phoenix, for whatever reason, was pissed off at Evan. Regulus was still avoiding talking to Beth. She was grateful for the opportunity to return home, because all she wanted was to be alone. The moment she was back, she dumped her things in her room and went to take a cold bath. As she sank down into the cool water, all she could think about was Regulus's harsh words.

I didn't realise you would stoop as low as Mitchell.

Beth didn't even think about Mitchell like that. She never had. He had always been a flirt, but she'd never wanted to sleep with him. The memory of that heavy weight on top of her was suffocating, and Beth slipped down into the bath until the icy water was up to her neck. There was a hickey on her collarbone and when Beth looked down beneath the surface of the water, she could see bruises on her thighs.

Her best friend was preoccupied. The boy she loved didn't want anything to do with her. Her older brother was a Death Eater.

Maybe she should just slip beneath the cool water, where it was quiet and calm, and never get back up. The thought made her choke out a sob, pressing her hands over her mouth. When had everything become so fucked up? Reaching out to grab her favourite honey and oatmeal scrub, Beth lathered it all over her arms and legs, scrubbing her skin raw.

Beth knew exactly what had happened at the Quidditch World Cup, but she was in denial about it. How was she meant to come to terms with it? What was she meant to say, when everyone was under the impression that she and Mitchell had shagged? It was his word against hers, and Regulus already thought he knew what had happened.

Beth tugged her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them, breathing in and out as slowly as she could, because if she didn't maintain some sort of calm, she was going to crack and break. No one was going to care about what she said. She was just quiet little Beth. Mitchell was popular and funny and a party animal who slept with girls all the time. Everyone would just think she was embarrassed about what had happened.

It didn't stop Beth from breaking down, her barriers crumbling down as she pressed her face into her hands and cried.

There was some saying that bad things always came in threes, and so Beth felt she really ought to have anticipated that the summer had one more nasty surprise in store for her. Richard had requested that Beth go into the study and get a quill for him as he finished up a report in the dining room, but her curiosity got the better of her as she flicked through the documents on his desk. There was a letter from St Mungo's, another from the Ministry of Magic.

Beneath the stack of papers and tumble of quills was Beth's birth certificate. She didn't think she had ever seen it before, and so she paused to take it in. Her breath caught in her throat as she realised that something was terribly amiss.

Baby's name: BETH ANNE FAWLEY
Date of birth: OCTOBER 13, 1960
Father: RICHARD JOHN FAWLEY, AGE 27.
Mother: ISABELLE CLARA MARTIN, AGE 18.

Beth examined the birth certificate with shaking hands. She didn't have a fucking clue who 'Isabelle Martin' was, but it certainly wasn't Jessica. Jessica, who was Beth's mother. Except how could she be, when another woman's name was listed on the birth certificate? These were bound by magic. It couldn't be a lie. The lie here was that, whilst she had believed Jessica was her mother, the truth was there in paper and ink.

It felt like the scream of rage that ripped its way out of Beth's mouth had been building since the Quidditch World Cup. Hadn't she fucking gone through enough? Hadn't this summer been shitty enough? Now she was here in her father's study, finding out that she wasn't even who she thought she was. No wonder Jessica had always despised Beth, had always treated her differently to Thomas. Beth wasn't even her daughter.

"Beth?" Richard hurried into the study, but once he saw what his daughter had clutched in her fist, his face paled. "Shit."

"You weren't ever going to tell me." Tears streamed down Beth's cheek and she choked out a sob as she held up the offending document. "That's why Mum hates me so much, isn't it? Because I'm not even hers."

Richard heaved a sigh, raking his fingers through his thinning hair. He didn't seem to know what to say. How could this be such a secret, and yet he'd just left her birth certificate carelessly on his desk? If not for his error, would Beth have ever found out the truth about her heritage? Richard gestured to the leather couch across from the desk.

"Please sit down, Beth."

"I want the truth." Beth hurled the birth certificate down on the desk angrily, storming over to throw herself onto the couch. "I deserve the truth. About who I am, about who my mother was."

"Who your mother is," Richard corrected, his tone unusually gentle and patient, "Isabelle Martin is, as far as I'm aware, still very much alive."

"Then why?" Beth's voice cracked, fresh tears blurring her vision. Had her own mother not wanted her? Had there been some issue of custody that Richard had won? Beth's earliest memories were with Richard, Jessica and Thomas. She didn't think she had ever known her birth mother.

"You were the result of an affair I had with a Muggle-born secretary." Richard stared at his feet. So she was a half-blood then, not even a pure-blood. Beth couldn't stand the sight of him. Her powerfully-built, constantly confident father. He looked hunched and guilty, curling in on himself.

"She was eighteen. You were twenty-seven." Beth couldn't keep the disgust and accusation out of her voice, seeing her father with new eyes. "She was barely out of Hogwarts, and you were a grown man with a wife and a toddler."

"She was an adult, Beth." A hint of steel entered Richard's tone. "She knew what she was getting too. The pregnancy was unexpected, and Isabelle only decided after having you that she couldn't take care of you. She thought that, with me, you would have a better future."

"Yeah, well." Beth's laugh was brittle as all of the hurt that had built up inside of her came pouring out. "That's debatable."

"Jessica agreed to raise you as her own." Richard sighed deeply. "We decided it was better that way."

"That what, I grew up believing my mum resented me?" Beth pushed herself to her feet. "No, instead, I found out that my mum didn't even want me. Does she even know anything about me?"

"I write to Isabelle every year on your birthday." A lump bobbed in Richard's throat. "I've sent her pictures of you ever since you were a baby. Please don't think that she didn't love you, Beth. She just thought this future was better for you, considering her own more limited income."

"I was a mistake." The words cracked as they made their way out of Beth's mouth, the tears coming thick and fast now. "I was the product of your shameful affair with a teenage secretary. That's so fucked."

"Beth, I love you…"

"Cut the shit," Beth snarled, planting her hands on her hips. She didn't think she had been more angry in her entire life, her slim frame trembling with the rage that had consumed her whole body.

Richard grimaced. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't spread this information."

"Oh, yeah, let's think about your reputation right now." Beth shook her head slowly. "You are so unbelievable. You know what? I don't give a shit who knows the truth about me. I'm sick and tired of being some dirty little secret you made up lies to keep hidden."

She stalked out of the study, slamming the door behind her. Richard didn't want her to tell anyone? She would tell whoever she damn well liked. She had nothing to be ashamed of, because she wasn't the person who'd done the wrong thing here.

Beth headed up to her room and kicked the door shut, before she unleashed another furious scream, picking up the snowglobe that she'd been given for her third birthday and hurling it against the opposite wall. There was something so satisfying about watching the way that it shattered on impact.

How Beth hated this summer. She had been lied to her entire life. She had been chewed up and spat out. She had been ridiculed and ruined. She collapsed onto her bed and sobbed. What the fuck did she have left? Her family was a mess of secrets and falsehoods. Her friends probably thought she was a slut. Not even Mariam would look twice at her after this.

Beth eased herself up, her body trembling violently as she crossed over to the smashed snowglobe. Kneeling down, she gathered the pieces of glass into her hand. Without a second's hesitation, she closed her hand into a fist around them, as hard as she could. As the glass cut into her palm and blood dripped down from her tight fist, all Beth could feel was betrayed.