"Day after day

They tell me I can go

They tell me I can blow

To the far side of town

Where it's pointless to be high

'Cause it's such a long way down

So I tell them that"

"All The Madmen" by David Bowie

The truck bounced against the ruined road as it made its way to the coast. The four occupants sat in tense silence as they moved along. In the back of the truck lay a singular barrel; contained within was a nuclear warhead. Shinji had insisted that they dispose of the warhead, citing that nothing good has ever come from a nuclear bomb in Japan.

And so, the four set off in their quest to rid the world of the warhead. As the day dragged on, the uneasiness remained. Mana shifted in her seat as the long trip began to get to her. By this point in time, the silence was all too much to her. Something had to be done.

"Say Shinji," Mana asked, "So what exactly did you do in the other world?"

Shinji straightened himself up at her voice, before looking into the rearview mirror, "Well what do you want to know?"

At this point Asuka and Kensuke both paid attention as the two talked.

"Said you were Marines, right?" Mana leaned against the seat's backing, "Why'd you join?"

"It just sort of happened," Shinji replied as he turned the wheel, "Got lost on my way to a job interview. Saw this nice poster to join the Marines. Served as an officer, commanding my own company. Saw some action during the Frontier War."

"Frontier War? Care to explain what that is?" Mana inquired.

"Pretty standard war, fighting aliens and whatnot." Shinji waved his hand nonsensically

"Right, so business as usual," Mana crossed her arms, "And after?"

Shinji glanced over at Asuka before answering, "Worked for the State Department. Just ran some odd errands from them here and there."

"Mhmm," Mana leaned back into her seat, "And I'm the Queen of England."

"Well, you could be for all I know," Shinji retorted.

Mana and Shinji continued to share stories with each other. Eventually Asuka joined in, sharing her exploits in the Eva during their struggle against NERV. As they continued on, Kensuke listened to their stories. There was something different about the three. They shared their feelings openly, without shame or guilt. It was something he didn't understand in the slightest.

The night sky began to blanket the Earth. Shinji tended to a small campfire as Asuka organized the extra firewood. A little ways off Kensuke leaned against a tree as he was entranced by the stars. His trance was broken however by the sound of breaking twigs beside him. He felt two arms embrace him tightly as warmth spread throughout his body.

"You know he's not too different from me or Asuka," Mana whispered.

"What makes you say that?" Kensuke replied

"Sometimes we make decisions that made sense at the time, but make little sense afterwards," Mana stated, "We don't regret them, but we don't support them either. We just live with them as they are."

"And you think I should just let Ikari's actions go?"

"It's not like I was any different."

A distant memory entered Mana's mind.

Eight Years Ago

The WILLE convoy trundled along. Red dust kicked up into the air. The Humvees and trucks trailed after each other. With no landmarks in sight, they almost traveled aimlessly and without purpose. In the front Humvee was Mana, reclining into the seat as she watched the world pass her by. She pulled down the brim of her helmet to block the incoming sunlight as she began to doze off. Suddenly the Humvee hit a rock, waking her from her slumber. As she adjusted herself, Mana saw an approaching van from the west. She reached for her radio.

"All Pilot Victors this is Pilot Two One Actual. I got an unknown victor approaching from the west. Over."

"Pilot Two One Actual, this is Pilot Two Actual. Try to wave them off. Over"

"Ten-Four." Mana replied as she shut off her radio.

She pulled herself up and leaned out of the window. Her rifle in hand, Mana attempted to wave the vehicle off. Still the vehicle approached ever faster. As it came closer and closer, she could hear the roar of the engine.

"BACK OFF!" Mana called out, "BACK OFF!"

Still the vehicle raced towards the convoy. Mana made a decision at that very moment. Mana tapped the Humvee gunner's leg as she took aim with her rifle. The gunner swiveled around the Mk. 19 and racked the handle.

"BACK OFF!" Mana called out again, "BACK OFF!"

The vehicle did not stop.

"Open fire!" Mana commanded.

She squeezed her rifle's trigger as the rifle kicked back. Above her the Mk. 19 let loose several rounds. The van's hood imploded as rounds struck it. Windows shattered and doors flung open as the van swerved before flipping over several times. The wreck came to a smoking halt as it lay on its side. Simultaneously the convoy came to a halt. Mana stared at the wreck. Hanging out of one of the door's was a small arm. Mana kicked open the Humvee's door and ran to the wreck. She ignored the lieutenant's calls for her return to the convoy. She still ran forth. Mana's knees scraped against the dirt as she slid to a stop. She pulled open the door and froze. Bodies were strewn across the van's cabin, some adults, but mostly children. Barrels were intermixed among them, some crushing the bodies into a grotesque mass. The barrels were leaking liquid. One leaked directly atop a small fire, putting it out. It was water. The van was carrying water and children. And Mana saw fit to wipe them out.

Mana embraced Kensuke ever tighter as the images faded from her mind.

"Just try to talk to him, okay?" Mana asked, "If not for him, then for me, okay?"

"I'll try," Kensuke replied, "I'll talk to him."

"Good," Mana smiled as she pulled Kensuke in for a kiss.

Shinji kept watch over the dying embers as he sat on a log. He heard footsteps behind him. Shinji grabbed his carbine and whipped around. He found himself pointing his rifle right at Kensuke. He raised his hands.

"I just want to talk," he said.

Shinji nodded and patted the area next to him. Kensuke sat down beside him and sighed.

""I don't know if I can ever understand why, you did what you did there, or even accept it," Kensuke stated.

"I understand," Shinji replied.

"That being said," Kensuke said, "You're still my friend. Always was and always will be."

Shinji smiled at his words, "Thank Kensuke. That means a lot."

Kensuke returned his smile with his own.

They had reached the coast early the next day. Kensuke and Mana had stayed behind to watch the truck as Asuka and Shinji hauled the warhead to the cliff. Perched atop the cliff, Shinji pried open the warhead.

"Are you sure this is safe?" asked Asuka.

"Yeah, it's safe," Shinji shrugged, "Mostly."

"Mostly?!" Asuka exclaimed, "Shinji this is a nuke!"

"I know that." Shinji grunted as he ripped out some wires, "Which is why I said mostly, but look," he held out the wires, "Can't be set off now."

"Whatever you say idiot," Asuka muttered as she turned the warhead on its side.

She and Shinji groaned as they pushed the warhead over the cliff. It plummeted before striking against the sea with a silent splash. Asuka and Shinji stared at the rolling waves in silence.

"You know I just realized something," Shinji stated. "For the first time in my life I don't have another war to fight, I have no idea what to do next."

"Well," Asuka turned to look at Shinji, "Do you want to figure it out together?"

Shinji smiled at Asuka and nodded, "Together."

Asuka took Shinji's hand into her own as the two walked back together.

Shinji and Asuka had been walking back for several minutes in comfortable silence when gunshots rang out. The two exchanged glances with each other before sprinting back to the truck.

When they arrived at the clearing, Kensuke and Mana were engaged in a firefight with several people in military gear. As Shinji got closer, he recognized them as Kaneda's gang. He looked over at Asuka as they took cover behind a fallen tree. She had her M4A1 out already and was returning fire. Shinji smirked as he flicked off the safety of his Mk. 18. He aimed his carbine at the hostiles. He centered one in his crosshairs and squeezed the trigger. Then he aimed at another. Then another. Shinji and Asuka entered a synchronized rhythm of rifle fire as the two laid down a flurry of gunfire. Even so, more and more gang members arrived in the clearing. Shinji kept firing more and more rounds. As he grabbed another magazine, he realized that they would be out of ammo soon. Shinji made a decision at that very moment. He tapped Asuka on the shoulder.

"Get to the truck!" he yelled, "I'll cover you!"

"Not without you!" Asuka retorted.

"I'll be right behind you!"

Asuka nodded as she prepared to run. Shinji stood up and began to lay covering fire as she ran to the truck. Shinji soon followed, firing from the hip. However, as he began to run back, a bullet struck him in the leg. He collapsed against the ground and grasped his leg. Asuka had reached the truck when she saw Shinji laying behind the log. Asuka turned to run back to him.

"No!" Shinji yelled out, "Get out of here! Go!"

Asuka returned fire to the gang members before assuming a running position. She would be shot for sure.

"Mana stop her!" Shinji screamed.

Mana grabbed Asuka before she could run and dragged her into the truck. Shinji watched as Asuka kicked and screamed. As soon as the truck's door slammed shut, Shinji grabbed his carbine. He grimaced as he assumed a firing position. Blood soaked into his pants as Shinji fired off as many rounds as possible. The truck roared to life as it began to drive away. Slowly but surely the engine's roar grew ever distant. Shinji grabbed his last magazine and inserted it into the rifle.

As the rifle clicked and he pulled the charging handle, Shinji whispered a single phrase, "Goodbye Asuka, I'm sorry."

Blows struck Shinji's face again and again. With every strike Shinji's sense of surroundings faded. The world blurred and darkening and yet every strike lit it up again.

"Stop!" a voice ordered, "Rather keep him alive."

The blows stopped and slowly the world came to view again. He felt a prick on his neck and his sight fully returned. He looked and saw Kaneda staring back at him. The bastard had that stupid grin on his face.

"What did you give me?" Shinji growled.

"Adrenaline Mr. Ikari," Kaneda replied smugly, "So you can feel again."

"Why would you want me to feel again?"

"So, you can feel this," Kaneda said as he pulled out a sawed-off shotgun and fired. Shinji's whole world went white. His right arm exploded, both within his mind and quite literally. As Shinji's sight returned once more, he looked over at his right arm. The problem was his right arm wasn't very much an arm at all. It was more akin to a shredded piece of meat as the shotgun had struck it almost lengthwise. Shinji's breathing increased ever faster and faster as he stared at it.

"You really didn't think I would allow you to keep your shooting arm now, did you Mr. Ikari?"

Shinji mumbled something.

"What?"

He mumbled again.

"What did you say to me?" asked Kaneda as he got closer.

Suddenly Shinji spat at Kaneda, covering his face with spit and dirt. Kaneda stumbled back as he desperately tried to wipe the liquid off.

"Why you little shit!" Kaneda screamed.

"It's Mr. Ikari to you, you bastard."

Kaneda only chuckled at the comment, "Watch what you say you little shit."

"Why?"

"Cause I can do this." Kaneda snapped his fingers.

Suddenly men surrounded Shinji and grabbed him. One of them grabbed his right arm, his hand sliding across limb. Shinji screamed as muscles fibers were pushed and ripped away. Shinji contorted as several men held him down. From behind Kaneda approached a large, burly man, wielding a baseball bat. He raised it high above his head and slammed it against Shinji's right arm. The first blow broke the bone even more. The second pulverized it. By the third his arm was nothing more than mush. Shinji cried out in pain as the world became flashes of white and shadows of black. Slowly but surely the darkness overtakes his vision. The pain numbed and sound became muted. As he slipped out of consciousness a single thought entered his mind and he smiled.

Asuka.

Author's Note: I am back. That's really it. Just going to say that. Have fun.

Shoutout to Pilot_Fair, Su_Exodus, and deathbringer374

Review Responses

tomdj1701: I think she got to him

Romula Nidoking BR: Well I would consider this a bad outcome

calborghete: Well the nuke is gone, but I do hope things are still interested

marduk-report: Glad you're enjoying it so far!

JIM D. ZAS: No me gusta usar a Mari por razones que entran en conflicto con la historia.

YourBlandestNightmare: Amends have been made, and then some things have been whatever the opposite of amend is

soryu-asuka-langley: Glad you liked the chapter!

EvaPilotFair: Happy you liked the chapter!