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Envy

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The room is cozy, with a crackling fireplace and comfortable armchairs to sit and wait. Everything looks luxurious, yet there's still an inexplicable warmth, a homey vibe to this place. Two red, velvety curtains drape the only window. Through it, one peculiar sight is getting the full attention of the sole person in this room, a young teenager of average size, average look.

Hana is lying on the floor with her head resting in one hand and her fingers playing with a thread of the Persian rug. Her chestnut hair, tucked behind her ears, stops at her chin, and a crease has formed between her two bushy eyebrows. She's nibbling at her bottom lip, a bad habit she picked up recently, thanks to a girl with pink hair that enjoys watching her reflection too much yet never seems satisfied with what she sees in it.

The scenery outside would look weird for anyone peeking through the window, but not for Hana. Her dark brown eyes follow the sinuous cave, narrowing every time they get a glimpse of a boy's back and a white and red fan. When said-boy glances behind and his eyes land on her, she feels herself blush, and a groan escapes her lips.

It's not that she likes Sasuke per se. But she likes what she sees in his eyes: the softness of it all, the caring, the longing even. And the whole situation is confusing her; she knows those looks aren't meant for her, but she's still receiving them every day, and it's growing on her.

And it's not that she hates Sakura. But, dammit, this girl is lucky. She has everything, a family - even two, if you count Team Seven -, friends that have her back, and boys fawning over her everywhere she goes. She has their undivided attention - not always in the way she wants, but still. Sometimes, when Hana's been stuck in this room for too long, she thinks that it's better than nothing at all. Then, she has to refrain from switching back to real life, from joining those she's watching through that window day and night.

She doesn't know why she's even agreeing to this. Since the first time she switched, she's been asking herself that question. Why is she being nice to Sakura? Who cares? Does she?

No. Hana never cares.

With a hitch in her breath, the girl watches as Sasuke offers his back to Sakura again. Hana leans forward when Naruto and Kakashi approach them with worry in their eyes. The older man ruffles the pinkette's hair, and the brown-haired girl can almost feel the touch, a small smile stretching on her lips.

Hana runs a hand through her own hair as warmth engulfs her, but freezes when she gets a glimpse of her short, dark locks. The corners of her mouth fall, and she retreats to one chair, where she sits, her knees up to her chest.

There, with no one as a witness, she allows the tears to fall.

To anyone asking, Hana would say she never cries. And maybe before, it was true. But since she gained this body, this new life, Hana cries more with every passing day. At first, she didn't even understand what was happening to her.

Then, she thought she was crying over her deceased father, the love of her life. Later, she put the blame on her mother's treason. Or on boredom, frustration, anger.

Between two hiccups, Hana peeks through her hair at the window in front of her. The curtains are now drawn, which means Sakura's eyes are closed. She takes a big inhale, and at the familiar scent of pine engulfing her nostril, a sob escapes her mouth. Her eyes widen, and a hand slams on her mouth.

Hana knows why she's crying.

She wants it; she realizes. She's always wanted it. The love, the friendship and devotion. All of it. And now that she has it, it isn't even hers…

Hana knows why she's crying. It's not out of self-pity. It's out of guilt.

If she wants, she can have it all. The body, the life, the love. She knows how to do it, always did. And it's getting harder to fight.

The more she craves, the less she cares.

But they would notice...

Would they?

[A/N] A quick word to thank all the kind souls who reviewed my stories this week. It means so much, you have no idea. Hope this little something will be enough to please you for tonight. I usually upload a "real" chapter after this kind of in-between, but I am still not satisfied with the following chapter, so I prefer to wait. Hopefully, I will be able to fix it by tomorrow.

Thanks again. You're the best.

M.B.