Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion.
Warning: This chapter might have to be rated M as well, for safety purposes.
Chapter 35: Introspection
"Well, nothing's changed during the period you were outside of the Anti-L barrier. You can go home if you want." Ritsuko's final decision sounded like a pleasant melody to Asuka, who squeaked like a schoolgirl and jumped from her spot.
The past few days had been depressing, to say the least. Shinji woke up not long after her comforting him, though he was surprised to see her there at his bedside at first. After some quick explanations, he accepted the arrangement with delight – he wanted her out of there as soon as possible himself, after all.
Now her observation period was finally over; she was looking forward to having normal – or rather, relatively normal – life once again, and meet her friends – however slowly becoming increasingly unimportant to her - at school.
"Is there anything that I should be careful with?" Asuka probed, still worrying about the Angelic possession.
"As long as you don't take the eyepatch off, you'll be fine." Dr. Akagi replied.
"What if I do?" Seeing the incredulous glare from Ritsuko, Asuka hastily reiterated, "I mean, what if it falls off? Or some random morons snatch it off?"
"Then we'd have to explain how we got a whole school of kids killed to their parents and the UN." An unreadable expression crossed the blonde doctor's face, though Asuka could clearly see a hint of amusement in it.
"Doctor?" Asuka questioned, her tone nervous.
"Relax." Dr. Akagi smirked. "It's not like you will turn into an Angel immediately after it falls off. You'll have time to fix it. We'll also strengthen Section 2 coverage around you guys. With your hand-to-hand combat training, it's not like people can just come and get to you, right?"
"Of course." Asuka held her head up, feeling a note of pride for the first time in a long while.
"And you still have…the last resort." Ritsuko's tone suddenly turned dead serious.
The redhead's expression darkened in an eyeblink. "Yeah…" She sulked. Even though she didn't want to admit it, the ultimate decision was still held in her hands. She wasn't afraid of death herself, but she was dreading how much of a pain she would inflict on Shinji if she did.
Asuka bit down on her lips. There was one way she knew she could console him, and she intended to persuade him to do it. She was sure he would accept her under her current state.
XXXXXX
"You have the intel I gave you. You know what to do." A cold, husky voice sounded in the dark office. ''You're alive only because I have a use of you."
"I know." With that, a hunk of a ponytailed man nodded and left the room.
XXXXXX
Asuka settled herself into a comfortable position in bed, letting out a content moan as she snuggled closer to Shinji, making the contacting surface area as large as possible. This was what she craved and had been denied until recently – him taking care of her was nice, but the feeling of another person she trusted holding her, loving her, was what swiped her loneliness and insecurities away.
Though she couldn't help but notice Shinji had been tenser than usual. She wanted to shake it off as a normal reaction for their first night spent together back in their apartment, but it was clear he had something else on his mind nagging at him.
"Shinji, do you find me not attractive anymore?" Asuka inquired as dark thoughts stroke back at her at full force.
"Hm? Asuka, I never find you unattractive. Why ask?" Shinji said, his voice muffled by her hair.
"Because…you seem to have a lot on your mind," Asuka let the words flow out slowly.
"It's..." He pondered for a moment. "It's the Angel," Shinji sighed. "It...attacked my mind. It let me live in my darkest fears...of losing you. I-I can't-" He took a deep breath. "Asuka, there's something I need to-"
"Shinji," Asuka cut him off by putting her index finger on his lips. "You've helped me with this before...now it's my turn to comfort you." She grinned, a seductive smile crossed her face. "I want you, tonight. I don't know what stopped you before, but are you ready now? Anything else can wait." With that, Asuka slowly took off the flimsy nightshirt, exposing her perfectly sculptured body.
Shinji's eyes widened as the dark memories struck back again.
You're just using me as your replacement!
"Asuka, I-"
"Shinji," again he was cut off by a firm voice. "Even if you don't want to, do it for me, okay?" Asuka smiled. "It may sound shameful…but I almost died weeks ago, and I don't want to die as virgin, Shinji."
I hate you!
"And…I love you. So, I want you…all of you."
Taking another deep inhale, Shinji closed his eyes before a small smile grew on his face. This wasn't the last time that was filled with profound guilt. This was him making Asuka happy, fulfilling her wishes instead of his own.
"I love you, too. Asuka." He smiled and leaned closer to her face, bringing their lips together.
XXXXXX
The morning rising sun had just peeked through the broken clouds as Asuka slowly woke up from the dreams. She was used to having morning moods – however, today she had felt more relaxed than ever before.
Yawning, she tried to rise from bed, but was blocked by something. Smiling as she lowered her head to see Shinji had a relatively firm lock on her, his bare skin touching hers in a few spots. Asuka had to smile to herself; last night was wonderful, well beyond her expectations.
Though it didn't help reduce the soreness that radiated from her nether regions, at all.
Asuka had thought the masturbation she had been doing would stretch her tunnel wide enough to make her first time not hurt as much, but now it seemed a mistake on her side.
'Who thought Shinji would be so good at this?' Though she still had doubts, Asuka quickly shook them off. He was completely hers right now, and if he dared to break that promise, he shall endure her brutal wrath.
Yawning again, Asuka looked down at her lover, making a somewhat shameful yet proud smirk as she noticed the bite marks and nail scratches on Shinji's back and shoulders. It was marked as Asuka Langley Soryu's exclusive territory that no one else shall invade.
"Well…you sure look happy," suddenly a quiet voice came to her.
"Hmm, as if you have to ask," Asuka countered, her mind still too hazy to recognize the owner of the voice, though she had initially marked it as Shinji's since none other people would be there. "How about a second round? I'm still capable."
"I'm not a lesbian, you know." The voice answered. "It's not something I should be taking care of."
Asuka's right eye shot open as the meanings of the words reached her conscious brain. She jumped up from the bed, not caring about her entangled state with Shinji – who was woken up by the disruptive movement – and reached for the light switch.
Just to reveal a uniform-wearing Major Katsuragi standing silently at the door with an unreadable expression on her face. "Before you ask, I'm here just to wake you guys up for school. It's already 7 am in the morning."
"Errrrrrrr…" Asuka felt like cat caught her tongue, unable to articulate any coherent words.
"I feel I don't need to ask what happened." She gestured at their nude forms and the used condom.
At the moment, Shinji got up from the bed as well. "Ah, Good morning, M-Misato-san," he greeted as he hastily snatched the sheet and covered himself.
"Was last night your first time?" Misato asked.
Asuka sighed. "Yes it was. No dancing around, I guess. We, me and Shinji, had sex last night." She shrugged. "And we are not…stopping, I suppose."
Misato's stern expression suddenly turned sorrowful. "I'm not asking you to stop, or anything." Her voice became sentimental as she continued; Asuka's eyebrow raised in surprise. "I know you're still too young for this…I would've told you to stop, or perhaps even force you guys to live apart if this happened a few months ago. But now?" Asuka could hear a near-sob escaped from Misato's throat. "You almost died. Both of you. I…I just can't. You could die in the next hour for all we know. You deserve each other, deserve some happiness."
Asuka turned her head to Shinji and winked at him, silently saying 'I told you so' to him.
"Though I'm glad you remembered protection." Misato continued, a cocky grin slowly showed up on her face, her voice returning the tease-Misato kind. "Even though we are short of pilots right now, we don't want you to make little pilots…just yet."
"I told you we are responsible." Asuka huffed with pink cheeks.
"But now you have to go to school." Misato's voice dropped. "Change your clothes! HURRY UP!" She shouted before shutting the door close.
"Right. Damn." The soft THUD sound of the door shutting off like a starting pistol, Shinji and Asuka shot up from their spots and threw their school uniforms onto their bodies. Maybe it wasn't a bad day at all.
XXXXXX
The school day started dull as usual, though it quickly turned into a hurricane of gossips as Asuka strode into the school gate with her head held high in pride, her hands holding Shinji's. Their couple status was no stranger to people in school, which implied it must've been Asuka's new…accessory that ignited the powder keg.
The redhead had been afraid of people making fun of her eyepatch, but soon got over with it, remembering what Shinji had told her before when she was in a wheelchair. She should treat it as a symbol of her status as an elite warrior, an insignia of her personal victory against the Angel that tried to take over her, but not a drawback of her appearance.
Even if people would look at her funny, as long as Shinji looked at her with love and affection, the rest could go to hell for all she cared.
"Asuka! You finally came back!" Hikari's cheerful voice came to her as soon as she stepped into the peripheral vision of the class representative. Completely ignoring her duty of suppressing the exploding chattering that rippled through the classroom, the brunette ran to Asuka's side and smiled. "What happened to your eye?" She probed, her smile fading a bit.
"It defeated an Angel and saved the world. It left a mark." Asuka smirked proudly.
Even though Hikari felt strange how some gigantic monsters could leave a mark so precise, she didn't question it. Though her eyes settled on another thing that was new to her. "Oh, where did you get this necklace? It looks good on you!"
Asuka tried not to let her face drop, and it only worked partially. "Yeah, I expected as much. It's NERV's special accessory." Knowing how ugly the red-black mix would look on her, she had asked Dr. Akagi to make a purple cover that camouflaged the DSS Choker as an actual necklace, just like the one she wore when she arrived in Japan.
"Damn, not gonna lie, pirate Soryu looks kinda sick," Toji's remark brought a smile to Shinji's face.
"Alright everyone! Go back to your seats!" Hikari finally remembered her job description as the class rep, shouting at her maximum volume as the bell rang.
"Rise! Bow! Sit!" Hikari announced as Sensei came in. "Eh, before we begin class today, um," Nebukawa sensei began, "We have a new transfer student joining us today…please introduce yourself to class."
Shinji blinked. He had kinda expected something like this would happen, but he hadn't prepared for it yet. Asuka had been demanding so much of his attention lately.
Fortunately, he had experience.
Light footsteps took the newcomer to the chalkboard, his nimble hands quickly drew a few elegant kanji on the board. He turned to face the class with a gentle smile.
Silver hair. Red eyes. Pale skin. It is him.
"Hello, everyone. My name is Kaworu Nagisa. I am happy to be here today." His red eyes scanned the classroom, pausing for a moment on Rei, and finally settling down on Shinji.
The grin on his face widened a bit, then he looked in another direction. Shinji saw clearly Kaworu's eyes twitched, his ever-presenting grin almost changed into confusion for a moment. But he quickly adjusted his composure and continued. "Very happy."
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The sound of chatter from the students mingling in front of the school could be heard all the way from up on the roof, where Shinji and Asuka sat, eating their lunches. The entire class seemed to be split on how they felt about the newly arrived student. One half, a half that particularly mainly consisted of girls, thought he was cute and intriguing, whereas the other half found him creepy and ominous, much akin to how most of their classmates felt about Rei.
"Shinji, do you know what's up with this new student?" Asuka asked before putting an octopus sausage into her mouth. The sausage was covered by some mustard, and Asuka had to hide her grin to stop herself from showing the content in her mouth.
Stealing glances at Shinji had become a habit for her ever since her public announcement. However, today such behavior only introduced unexpected irritation – that she found Kaworu Nagisa, who sat on the other side of Shinji, was looking at her boyfriend with clear interest as well.
"Em, I hear he's the new pilot? The Fifth Child, I mean." Shinji replied, though no one had actually told him about it yet. They were going to have a sync test this afternoon, anyway. "What's wrong, Asuka?" He followed as he heard her grumble.
"He looks at you funny, haven't you noticed?" Asuka huffed. Shinji could swear he could see a dim blue light intensify through her eyepatch. "And his features…he looks a lot like wondergirl. Red eyes, pale skin. It's creepy."
"Oh?" Shinji smirked; his voice switched into a playful tone. "Are you jealous?"
"As if!" Asuka barked, though contrasted by her forceful chewing on the food.
"Maybe he's just-" He trailed off as both of them could see a human shadow approaching them from behind. Asuka tensed up, ready to enter combat stance. Shinji, on the other hand, simply smiled and turned his head back, as if knowing who the intruder was.
"Kaworu Nagisa, right?" Shinji's inquisitive voice came to her.
"Correct. I suppose you are the Third Child, Shinji Ikari?" Kaworu's friendly tone started making Asuka's skin crawl.
"Yep. Nice to meet you, Nagisa-san." Asuka gritted her teeth.
She could hear Kaworu chuckle. "No need. Just call me Kaworu. I'll call you Shinji in return."
"Ahem!" Asuka shot up from her spot, snapping both heads in her direction. "Shinji, let's leave this place, alright? We have some private business to attend to."
Kaworu narrowed his eyes at her. "Excuse me, lady… isn't that should be his decision?"
"Well, listen up." Asuka shot him a venomous glare. "I'm his girlfriend. I'm afraid I have a better claim on him than you do."
If it wasn't sanity telling her otherwise, Asuka would swear a hint of sadness crossed Kaworu's face. "I see." His tone dropped. "I'll leave it to you, then."
Asuka smirked in triumph as she watched Kaworu leave the rooftop with his light steps, not noticing the amused expression on her boyfriend's face.
XXXXXX
From atop a cliff overlooking one of the more desolate areas of Tokyo-3, Misato stood next to her car while she looked through her high-powered binoculars, zooming in on the enigma of a boy that was Kaworu Nagisa. On her own accord, she had been trailing him from a distance over the course of the few days since he had arrived, after seeing his suspicion-raising file that basically told her nothing.
Ritsuko had been avoiding the topic of the Fifth Child for unspoken reasons, only showed her his files. Though it was enough of a motive for her to track down the new boy. From behind him, Misato couldn't make out the movement of his lips accurately, but she was sure he was talking to someone.
Down in the middle of the devastated street, Kaworu looked up as twelve black monoliths surrounded him. Though he was in an open area, he knew that only he could see and hear them.
"Are you alone?" The one floating directly before him spoke. SEELE 01, Chairman Keel Lorenz.
"Does it matter?" He shrugged, scanning up and down the desolate area around them.
"Watch your tone, boy." SEELE 06 snapped.
"Is there anything noteworthy of the Second and the Third Child?" SEELE 01 spoke up. "I hope you've collected some information as I told you so."
"The Second and Third Children are in a…stable relationship," Kaworu smiled a sad smile. "None of them seem like the person I was told to expect."
"Hm." SEELE 01 pondered for a moment. Now he knew why Gendo was overly protective of the Second Child. He had never thought such a guy would care about his son so much. "Gendo Ikari's protectiveness of the Second and the Third Child is abnormal."
"It seems like the information we got from Fuyutsuki is correct." SEELE 07 intoned. "Now that NERV is still operating under full capacity, with our subpar MP EVAs we stand little chance."
"Regardless," SEELE 01 spoke up again. He had been preparing for everything. "It only makes things easier. You know what to do. You have the plans we've developed for you."
"As you wish." Kaworu bowed a little. With that, the monoliths vanished, and the fair-skinned boy was left to stand amongst the wreckage and debris-filled street alone. Or at least, so a certain someone would like for him to think.
Letting out a small sigh, Kaworu turned around and gave a slight nod to Misato, who was still watching him from off in the distance. The plan SEELE gave him had laid out how to 'approach' the Third Child and how to get the Second Child 'by their side,' or to eliminate her 'if nothing else works.'
Of course, he couldn't just expose himself. Not before the sixteenth Angel appeared.
The Major let out a gasp as she dropped her binoculars. She knew for a fact that it was impossible for anyone to notice her from that distance with the naked eye.
"What the hell? Who is he?" Misato murmured, taking a step back towards her car. Whoever he was, Misato knew his purpose couldn't be good.
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AN: In the last chapter during the flashback beach scene, I wrote "black sphere" hanging on the sky. It's supposed to be the blackmoon, however after rewatching EoE and discussion with skyf0x I found out that there wasn't one in EoE, I confused it with the blackmoon in the RoE beach scene. So I fixed it.
Special Thanks to Romulo Nidoking BR, AgentKaji, skyf0x, SheriffJohnstone, HeyThereMrBlue, spartanman2, fonte20nit, tomdj1701, nonameasushin, and AirGuitar035's reviews!