AU!

Warning: Harry and Hermione talk to Teddy about the birds and bees.

WRITTEN FOR QLFC, SEASON 9

Puddlemere United

Chaser 1: write about someone looking forward to the future

Prompts:

(character) Harry Potter

(plot point) pregnancy

(genre) family

WC: 2158

Harry breathed in and out to relax his tense nerves. He knew he needed to talk to Teddy about the new development, but it just seemed so difficult. How was he supposed to tell his six-year-old godson that soon, he wouldn't be the only child in the house?

When Hermione had told him she was pregnant, Harry's excitement had sky-rocketed. He couldn't wait for the new child to grace their lives with its presence, but, then, his enthusiasm had receded and given way to nervousness. He didn't know how Teddy would react to the thought of being an older brother. Harry wished he was anywhere but here.

Hermione placed her hand on his shoulder, forcing him out of his distracted thoughts. "Harry, you can't delay this talk anymore. Pretty soon, I'm going to look like I swallowed a Bludger, and Teddy's going to start asking questions. Do you want someone like George—or worse, Ron—to explain this to him, or are you going to do it?"

Harry winced at the thought of their best friend awkwardly stumbling through a conversation about the birds and the bees with Teddy. He could easily imagine Ron's face going redder than his hair when Teddy would start asking innocuous questions; Teddy was Remus's child, after all. Ron would probably give Teddy a more technical answer than the child was ready for, and their best friend would definitely traumatize Teddy with the details.

"Okay, you're right," Harry said, scratching the back of his neck. He peeked around the doorway and glanced at Teddy, who was busy playing with his toys in the living room. He took a step towards him before hurrying back to Hermione's side. "No, I can't do it. You tell him. You're the smart one."

Hermione smacked Harry's head and grumbled, "I really hope our baby doesn't inherit your ostrich tendencies."

"Hey," Harry whined, rubbing his head with a mock-pout. "You were attracted to my ostrich tendencies, remember?"

"And that's how we got into this mess," Hermione said, rolling her eyes, but Harry knew she was just joking. He knew she was looking forward to the future just as much as he was.

Hermione leaned in and pressed her lips to his. Harry relaxed into the kiss, a goofy smile stretching across his face. He wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her closer. She stepped up on her tiptoes and cupped his face, tilting her head as she kissed him more insistently.

"Ew, no kissing!" Teddy cried, startling them into pulling away. He covered his eyes with his hands and grimaced.

Hermione whispered in Harry's ear, "Go on, Harry. You can do it. I'm here to answer any questions he might have, but it's your job to start the conversation."

Harry whimpered but walked over to Teddy, whose eyes were still covered. Harry crouched down in front of the boy and said, "Uh...Teddy? Can we talk? It's important."

"You're not kissing Aunt Mione again, are you?"

Harry chuckled and shook his head. "No, I'm not kissing her now. Your eyes are safe."

Teddy peeked through his fingers and breathed a sigh of relief. A huge grin formed on his lips when he saw Hermione in the doorway. "Aunt Mione! You're home!" he yelled and ran towards her.

Hermione laughed as Teddy wrapped his arms around her abdomen and hugged her tightly. "Hi, Teddy. It's been so long," she teased like she hadn't seen him that morning before heading to St Mungo's Hospital for work.

Teddy giggled and dragged Hermione over to the sofa where Harry was sitting. "Uncle Harry, move over," he demanded, pushing him out of the way. "Let Aunt Mione sit!"

Harry rolled his eyes but scooted over, and Hermione sat down beside him. Teddy immediately hopped up in between them, wriggling around to make room for himself.

It was their daily routine. They had been doing the same thing for the past five years ever since Andromeda had died and left Teddy to Harry and Hermione's care. Co-parenting a one-year-old child had been difficult, and soon, Hermione had moved in with Harry. It hadn't taken long for them to realise they complemented each other almost perfectly, and it was with Ron's blessings—and not-so-subtle matchmaking—that they had become a real family.

And now...they were going to have another baby.

"Okay, Teddy, we need to talk," Harry said in the most solemn voice he could muster. His face was already heating up at the thought of what he was about to do, but he knew he needed to do it anyway.

Teddy turned to look at him, and Hermione gave Harry a quick thumbs-up over Teddy's head.

'Here goes nothing.' Harry inhaled and blurted out, "We're going to have a baby."

"From the hospital? I know babies come from the hospital. The Healers sell them in cages, and they cost you money," Teddy said as a matter of fact before turning to Hermione, "Are we stealing a baby?"

Harry sniggered and brought Teddy's attention back to him. "No, we're not stealing a baby. We're making one."

Hermione choked and covered her mouth with her hands. She squeaked, "Harry!"

Teddy's eyes widened, and a huge grin appeared on his chubby little face. "Ooh, is it like baking cookies in the oven? Can I help? Please! I promise not to get any eggshells in!"

It was Hermione's turn to whimper. Harry's face reddened, and he flailed his arms, wishing he had some Liquid Luck to help him along. He shook his head furiously. "No, we only need two people to make a baby."

Teddy's face fell, and Harry tried to come up with a better explanation. He shot Hermione a terrified glance, and she groaned before turning towards Teddy. "Honey, let me explain this to you…"

"She'll do a better job than what I did," Harry said, shivering with disgust.

Hermione shook her head and shot her partner an amused smile. Looking down at Teddy, she said, "Teddy, do you know how flowers are made?"

Teddy immediately nodded, his eyes lighting up in excitement. "Yes, Aunt Mione! When a bee carries pollen from one flower to the other to gather nectar to make honey, some of the pollen brushes off onto the flower, and then a new flower is made!"

Hermione nodded, beaming at him with pride, and Harry rolled his eyes; Teddy was a little Hermione through and through. Hermione explained, "Well, just as it took two things to make the flower, it also takes two things to make animals like dogs and giraffes and—"

"And goats, too?"

"Yes, goats too," Harry said, chuckling at Teddy's question. Teddy's interests varied on a daily basis, and his recent obsession was goats for some reason. Harry thought it was adorable.

Hermione said, "Yes, and just like that, a mummy and daddy make a baby together, too."

"In the oven?"

"No," Hermione said, grinning at Teddy. "See, most people have the ability to reproduce. That means to create a new life. Cows can make calves, dogs can make puppies, and humans can make new humans."

"What do goats make?" Teddy's eyes were wide with curiosity, and he was riveted by Hermione's explanation.

"Goats make kids," Harry said, relieved he knew something.

"Correct," Hermione said, smiling at Teddy. "Now, inside most dads, there are really tiny cells called sperm, and mummies have something different inside them. Tiny eggs."

"Like the ones we eat for breakfast? Does that mean we're eating your eggs?" Teddy cautiously moved closer to Harry, who burst into peals of laughter.

"Harry, behave!" Hermione scolded, smacking Harry's knee. She shook her head at Teddy and said, "No, we're not eating them. The eggs I'm talking about are much, much smaller."

Teddy breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, then."

Hermione continued, "Now...when just one of the dad's sperm joins an egg in the mum's body, they travel together to the mum's uterus."

"Where's that?"

Harry pointed to Hermione's belly and said, "Right there inside her body. We can't see it, but it's where a baby is made."

"Yes, it takes about nine months for a baby to come into the world," Hermione added.

"And we're having a baby?" Teddy asked, almost bouncing on the couch. His eyes were round with excitement as he glanced at them both.

"Do you have any questions, Teddy?"

"Yes," Teddy said. He stopped bouncing and bit his lower lip.

Harry groaned and thought, 'He's going to ask us how those things get together, and here comes the hard part…' He readied himself for the obvious question.

Instead, Teddy asked, "What will happen to me when the baby gets here?"

"What?" Hermione and Harry asked in unison, startled by the question.

"Where will I go? Are you sending me away?" Teddy's lower lip trembled as he looked at them.

Hermione immediately wrapped her arms around Teddy's waist, and Harry quickly joined the hug. He said, "Oh, Teddy, why would you think we're sending you away? We would never do that."

Teddy mumbled, "I thought...if you were making a baby without me, then—"

"No, sweetie," Hermione said, kissing his head. "You're our darling, aren't you? We would never send you away. We just wanted to tell you that you were going to be a brother, that's all."

Teddy was quiet for a few seconds before he pulled away from them and stared at Hermione with wide eyes. "A brother?"

"Yes, like Aunt Ginny's brothers are Uncle Ron and Fred and George and Percy and Charlie and Bill," Harry said, listing them on his fingers.

"Will—will the baby like me?"

"The baby will love you. Just like we do," Harry stated in a matter-of-fact tone. There was no room for doubt, and he didn't want Teddy to ever think he wouldn't be loved either. They were going to be a family of four, and their love for Teddy would never diminish.

Teddy pursed his lips and tapped his chin. "After a baby, can we get a goat?"

"Teddy," Harry whined, and Hermione giggled at them.

"You said you loved me!" Teddy cried and turned to Hermione. "Aunt Mione! Uncle Harry said he loves me, but he's not getting me a goat!"

Hermione laughed and ruffled his hair gently. "How about we compromise? If you promise to be a good boy this week, we'll go and see the goats at the farm. You can pet them and play with them, too."

Teddy whooped and shot off the sofa. "I'll be the goodest boy ever! I'll show you!"

Harry opened his mouth to correct him, but Hermione shushed him. She smiled and rose to her feet. "Do you want to help me make dinner?"

"Yes, Aunt Mione." Teddy immediately grabbed her hand and began striding towards the kitchen, his shoulders back and his spine straight in his attempt to be good.

Harry stood up and went to join his little family in the kitchen. He stood behind Hermione while she was teaching Teddy how to roll the dough into little balls, and he grinned and wrapped his arms around her waist. He rubbed her abdomen, and his heart swelled with delight at the thought of their baby.

Teddy reached up and patted Hermione's abdomen right over Harry's hand. "Don't worry, baby. I'm your brother Teddy, and I'm going to feed you dumplings. You'll love them! They're awesome! And if you don't like them, I'll make you eat them anyway because they're good for you."

Harry laughed and ruffled Teddy's hair. He kissed Hermione's cheek and said, "Well, that went better than I expected. I can't wait for our baby to come."

"You didn't say anything! You made me do the talking," Hermione chided him gently, and Harry grinned. Hermione suddenly smirked. "You know what? When he finally starts asking the real questions, you're on your own."

Harry paled. "Mione," he whispered. "That defeats the point of having a Healer as a wife. I'm dumb around these conversations."

Hermione giggled, and Harry harrumphed, thinking she was probably imagining him stuttering as he tried to answer Teddy's questions.

Teddy blissfully ignored them, still babbling to Hermione's belly. "When you're here, I'll take you to the park, and we'll play on the swings and slide, and I'll take you flying, too. Flying is amazing, and you'll love it! We'll play Quidditch together, and after I learn the Rong-ski Feint, I'll teach it to you, and we'll have so much fun scaring Aunt Mione!"

Harry grinned as Hermione immediately refused to let either of the children ride a broom. When she turned away to turn on the stove, Harry mouthed to Teddy, "We'll go flying."

Teddy beamed and gave him a thumbs-up. His wicked smile immediately turned innocent when Hermione shot them both a suspicious look. Harry high-fived him before he helped them roll out the dumpling dough.

Life was good, and Harry knew that soon, it would be even better.