Chapter Forty-Four

Return

We made our way through the winding tower basement – and yes, I did snag the 'special brew' – killing several demons along the way. We picked up several of the crystals for Shale – and when I used magic to put them on the golem, it looked somewhat happy at least.

"Oh look! Someone's come to play! You have come to play, haven't you? We're playing a guessing game – it's more fun with more people."

I played dumb, "We? Who is we?"

"Kitty and me, of course! You don't see anyone else here, do you? Anyway, you should go if you're not going to play… Kitty finds you distracting."

"The cat finds me… distracting?"

"Kitty is clever – she says you'll want to take me back to my father, but I'm not going. She would be so lonely!"

The cat finally spoke, though she was watching me wearily – another desire demon, after all and the ones I'd killed had all projected my image through the link between them. "You are very kind, Amalia – I would miss you dearly if you left."

I gave a fake look of shock, "That cat… talks?"

"Of course, silly!"

"Talking is simple enough, once you know how."

I smirked, "Oh, I quite agree – I'm a dragon, myself."

The cat looked startled and gave a delicate sniff. "A beast in human form… how did I not see that before? Release me, as kin, and let me have the girl." It was trying to appeal to me as kin?

I glared at her and said, "You know what? I will let you go so long as you leave the girl."

She purred in thought as she looked to Amalia, "Hmmm… but I do like this one."

"I like you too kitty!"

"But… if it means escaping this prison and avoiding confrontation with you, I am willing to leave on my own. I agree to your terms."

I handed my things to Alistair, giving him a kiss on the cheek, before taking my spectral Lynx form and pounced over to the brick puzzle. It was spelled so only non-demonic entities could move the pieces. I was actually having fun batting at the pieces to get them to move – and I saw kitty and Amalia watching me work in stunned silence.

When I finished, I stalked back over to stand in front of kitty and Amalia. I shifted back and gave a dark smirk, "I love being in animal form – so freeing. Now don't forget our deal."

The cat considered and for a moment, I thought she would actually take the deal… "I have changed my mind. I really like the girl – I do not think I will find another like her."

"Oh! So I get to go with you after all, kitty?"

I let out a growl, "I will not allow it, demon."

"Ugh! I will take her anyhow! She is mine." The cat arched and hissed. Amalia jerked in surprise, "Kitty… you're scaring me! I won't let you inside me – I won't!" and she rushed off.

I motioned to Zev and Sten who turned and followed her. We fought and killed the demon before moving back through the maze of a lab.

"Why did we help the tiny human?" Shale asked and I almost lost it – she likely didn't realize that tiny human meant baby…

"I have a weak spot for children. Most elves are like that. It's an evolutionary thing, actually – low fertility rates due to having long lives means we cherish what we rarely get."

"I find myself curious about what you are, exactly."

"As I told the demon – I'm a Dragon; a red one, specifically. I'm also several other things… wolf, druid, mage, goddess – you know, the simple stuff."

I heard several snorts, but it was Alistair who said, "Simple – being a goddess is simple?"

"Simpler than being a curator of an afterlife, certainly." I flashed him a smile.

We approached the man who beamed at us and said, "You did it! You saved her – thank you so much."

I nodded and looked to the girl, "Your grandfather was a mage, Amalia – an Enchanter, actually. If you show any signs of magic, be sure to tell your father – because what happened with kitty will happen again if you are a mage who gets no training. Am I understood?"

She nodded, "Yes, miss Dragon lady." I rubbed her hair with a soft smile. Her father looked confused, "Dragon…?"

I shrugged, "Go to Redcliffe, Matt. You'll be safe enough there, for the time being – not to mention your father had a cottage there, too – and since he was a hero of Ferelden, it has not been taken over. Just don't be surprised seeing species you never would have anticipated before. Talking bear-people, green-skinned short people, tall elves and such. Welcome to the future," I grinned.

He nodded and took his daughter.

We decided not to camp in Honnleath, however, so we made our way out. I giggled when I heard the terrified bawk and squish. I turned and looked at Shale in amusement. She shrugged and looked like she was daring me to say something, but it was Aedan who spoke, "Well… you did say it could squash all pigeons…" I nodded though I was so tired at this point I was giggling like a loon. That attracted many looks. Sten spoke, "Kadan – what is happening?"

"Hehe – sorry, just… so tired that things seem funnier than they should." I stumbled.

"Why are you so…?" Daylen asked.

"Magic healing! Wynnie bee, I forgot my regenerative ability… oops!"

"She is acting drunk." Zev noted and I pointed at him excitedly, "Yes; that! Being sleepy makes the same brain chemicals as the drinky-drink!"

Alistair snorted and hands our stuff to Sten, who took them without a word. Alistair then turned his back to me and made a motion. I giggled and said, "Oooh, piggy back ride!"

"Should we just make camp here?" I heard Leliana giggle. I shook my head wildly, "No, no, no! Save a horse, ride a cowboy!"

There were scoffs of amusement and Alistair flushed red – looks like he got the joke. "If she's like this on no sleep… how does the cope on those days when she takes last watch?"

"Easy peasy! We already cleared this area – we're safe, so my Dragon instincts aren't up in… claws! Can someone make camp-side cookies?" I giggled from Alistairs back.

"Up in… Claws?" Zev asked. "Like up in arms, but my dragon has claws, right? But my claws can be used as weapons! And 'arms' is actually supposed to mean weapons… did you know banging your head against the wall for 1 hour can burn 150 calorie which will help you lose weight?"

I heard someone cough a laugh, and continued, "The Crows are probably named that because a flock of crows is called a Murder!"

Zev snorted, "That is… actually true."

"Really?" Leliana asked. Zev nodded and looked to me, "Tell us another one."

"Heart attacks are more likely to happen on a Monday, and Pantheism is belief that God did not create the universe, but rather the universe is God."

I leaned my cheek against Alistairs shoulder as my eyes fluttered closed. Leli had looked intrigued by the last fact.

"Are you okay, dear?" Wynne asked. I nodded with a yawn.

We only made it a mile away from Honnleath before we made camp. I looked around, "Bed time?"

Aedan nodded while Alistair grabbed a few fruits before helping me to our tent. I was out cold the minute my head hit the pillow… well, if you could call Alistairs' chest a pillow – especially since it was much more comfortable than one.

The next morning, I was just languishing in Alistairs' arms.

He was stroking my hair – I was loving it. I secretly allowed my magic to check on my unborn child and relaxed further at discovering he was perfectly okay.

Alistair hummed, "I felt that – you're awake."

"Mmmh-hmm," I yawned.

"What had you so tense?" he asked as he kissed my head.

"That thing that I'm being blackmailed about. I was just making sure things were okay." I shifted around so I was practically lying on top of him. I just wanted to stare into his eyes.

He frowned, "Are you sure you can't tell me?"

"I want to – Elune, but I hate keeping it a secret; I hate not telling you. It's all I want to do – tell you and bask in your reaction to it… but I can't. If I do… I dread thinking about it. Unless you can keep a secret from my other mates as well as not moving me off the battlefield, I can't tell you. And you can't promise that – you would totally take me off the field."

His eyes narrowed, "If Anduin hadn't already cleared you, I'd be suspecting that it was pregnancy now."

I chuckled – he guessed it, but also basically said he thought it wasn't.

"Come on – we gotta pick up Rose from Redcliffe and head to Haven to take out a Dragon Cult." I sat up and began getting dressed. He grabbed my arm lightly, "Hey… I love you."

"I love you too," I smiled at him.

"Just promise me… promise me that if you are pregnant and that's the big secret… promise me that you'll be extra careful. Because if… if you are pregnant, then what happened yesterday is much more terrifying. No – don't tell me. If I knew for sure… I know, this is going to sound strange but I want it so bad that I'm willing to hope you are; but I also hope you aren't because of how dangerous this is. But I can't ask you to tell me because I swore to Anduin and Cullen that I'd tell them as soon as I knew for sure. So, having said that – just promise me that if you are, that you'll be careful." He was red, but his face was dead serious.

"Alistair, I swear to you… if I were pregnant, I would be so careful that it'd be pretty obvious to everyone." I smiled at him.

He relaxed. I could practically hear him thinking that it wasn't so obvious – he was half upset that I wasn't yet; but half relieved. I understood his thoughts on that.

He leaned over and kissed me before we headed out of the tent.

Zevran looked up, "Ah, Bella – are you feeling better today?"

"Much. Rulen, not a word. I still have the full nude calendar."

His jaw snapped shut as he went bright red, "Oh, that's not fair."

"Isn't it? I have every calendar edition produced by my company. You never know when you'll need the perfect blackmail." I smiled sweetly.

He paled, "Every edition?"

Oh… which one would he find more embarrassing than the potato sack or nude ones?

I beamed, "Which one, Rulen? Heros of the Horde? Villainous edition? Oh, is it the edition where you were all dressed in armor that would be like womens armor from the games? Oh, oh – I got it; the one you're scared that I have is…" he tackled me – I was expecting it, so I was careful. My legs were out, he went over me. I was already sitting on a log, so I didn't fall more than a little; my son was fine.

He cursed, "Yes; okay? The one I'm embarrassed by is the BDSM Calendar."

I smirked, "Why didn't you say so? Oh, this is priceless."

"… Do I want to know?" Alistair asked.

"Rulen in nothing but a thick leather collar, a leash, thick leather cuffs and tastefully posed on a bed. It was a very popular edition. I have a male blood elf friend in that one who was hanging from the ceiling, head tossed back and to the side, legs out to the left and right to tastefully hide his 'package'… it was artfully done. Quite good looking. Gayer than Zevran there."

"Quite gay indeed, then, since I also like women." Zev commented drily.

"Hmm – he didn't. He was all for the men," I winked.

That was when my phone began ringing. I answered it with a flinch, "L-Liam…"

"Mother – dear sweet mother… you made me a promise." His voice was as demonic as I'd ever heard.

"I passed out last night – you can't blame that on me. I was loopy from being healed by Wynne!" the sheer terror on my face made the others give me funny looks.

"Regardless – you will uphold your end of the deal or I will go right to dad. And he'll howl that news from the top of the Stormwind Keep; you know he will." Liam sounded smug.

"… I'm already on my way back to Redcliffe to pick up Mother Roselle – you may accompany us following that?" I asked.

"Uh-huh; I'll get my gear packed." He hung up.

"I think I'm a little lost," Alistair hummed, "Why will Prince Liam be following us?"

"After the Peak, when he began blackmailing me, he said that if I got hurt even once that he would demand to become my personal guard. I told him that I would throw Rulen in front of any hits meant for me. I didn't see the Ogre until I was shoved, so… Liam will now be accompanying us as I failed to not get hurt. I believe that Kayn will take over Liams' duties in Redcliffe now. The deal was that he could either hop on a mount and fly to us, or I could open a portal but he would join us if… well, since we're already on our way to Redcliffe now, he'll wait, but…"

"He's overprotective of you. That's not the Liam I… oh." Rulens' eyes widened. "Oh. You're…"

I shot out and covered his mouth, "Name your price."

"What? Just like that? He figures it out and rather than come clean, you're going to bribe him?" Leliana asked.

I was still staring Rulen in the eyes. He was pale, "I have to tell Anduin – well, actually, I have to tell Lor'themar. Tara…"

"Name. your. Price," I hissed at him.

"… burn the BDSM calendar – burn it like kindling." He said.

I pulled it our and tossed it in the pile of logs where breakfast had been cooked, snapping my fingers to make a fire roar to life, "Don't go back on your word. I'll skin your ass alive."

He nodded, "Pleasure doing business with you."

Alistair hummed, "I'm confused – but… I already got your word, so…"

I nodded to him. Rulen leaned down and whispered, "I went easy on the bribe only because Lor'themar would kill me if you told him about the tackle earlier. If your husbands didn't get to me first."

I snorted, "No shit, sherlock. Liam would skin you alive if he knew."

"So… you didn't even need to bribe him?" Zev asked, hearing my words.

"No – the bribe was… a show of good faith. If he tells anyone before I do, then Liam, Alistair, Anduin, Cullen and my dad will all kill Rulen right after that when I tell them a simple thing that he did… today."

Wynne narrowed her eyes, but she couldn't seem to think of what it might be. She didn't check for pregnancy yesterday.

Alistair hummed, "So… he dies if he tells?"

"Yeah – you would kill him before I could stop you, I think," I nodded.

"Should I just… get it over with and feel justified later?" Alistair asked and blinked in surprise, "You would?"

"At this point, it's a possibility." He shrugged, "Especially after our talk this morning."

"… Don't kill him. You still want someone blocking incoming damage, right? Think of him as my living bulwark." I smiled.

Rulen nodded, "From here on, damage will be done to me before it ever hits her if I can help it, Prince Alistair. You have my word."

Alistair nodded, "Very well then."

We arrived in Redcliffe three days after leaving Honnleath. Liam was packed and waiting with Roselle. I lowered my head, "Liam."

"Ma." He was grinning in smug satisfaction.

Kayn was with them, "I do not know what is happening – only that Liam is blackmailing you. Say the word and I will contact Genn."

"No!" I shouted in worry. Rulen shook his head, "Don't do that – we'll all die if her secret gets out. Liam and I are the only ones that know at this point."

Liam hummed, "Told you, Pop."

Kayn narrowed his eyes, "You know better than to call me that, pup. You are inciting trouble. Do not blackmail my Queen – I will kill you and deal with the old wolf later."

I coughed. Liam shrugged, "It's for her own safety. All I did was tell her that if she got hurt, she had to take me along as a guard. With the knowledge that I hold at the moment, it was enough."

Kayn looked bewildered, "That's… all?"

"Yeah," Liam nodded, shifting on his feet.

Kayn sighed, "Very well."

"Cool – thanks for understanding pop!" I groaned as Alistair coughed at Liams' obvious attempt.

Kayn sighed, "Child – it won't happen. I am certain that all three of her mates are quite jealous of her."

Just to stir the pot – cause I was feeling salty – I said, "They all agreed to make room for you, but… I think we both know why that won't happen."

Alistair tipped his head back – on one hand, he was embarrassed; on the other, he was glad I had said it wouldn't happen.

Kayn snorted, "They'd still be jealous – regardless of their agreement to it or not."

I hummed, "That too."

"Too?" Alistair asked.

"Kayn went and told Anduin every detail of what I like – head pats, where to rub on my back, which position is my favorite… all of it. He told Anduin every detail of how to please me in a relationship. He gave one mate an unfair advantage over the others. Which is why I've set it up so that Anduin tells you both what he learned." I shrugged.

"I-is that why…? Oh, Maker." Alistair shot Kayn a look that screamed 'I want to hit you'. Kayn shot him a smirk that said, 'then do it'.

I moved between them and said, "Anyway – Liam really is just blackmailing me for my own safety. And if Zevran hadn't shoved me in Honnleath, he'd still be staying here because I wouldn't have gotten stepped on by an Ogre."

My tone was casual – but had the desired effect. Kayn and Liam both stared hard at the assassin when Alistair pointed to him (Kayn hadn't formally met any of my crew that weren't at my wedding). The Assassin raised his hands in surrender, "I did not intend to! I was thrown off balance by a shriek!"

Liam lunged and Alistair caught him, "You really don't want to do that. Lyna there is far deadlier than he is and he belongs to her."

I nodded when Liam looked to me for confirmation.

Lyna hummed nonchalantly, "I do dare you try, shem – it might be fun poking you full of arrows. Bonus points for getting rid of Taras' blackmailer, hmm?"

Liam groaned, "You set me up!"

I grinned, "Took you long enough to figure it out. As to Zev, he's already paid double penance for his accident. Worry not, Liam."

"Double? Why double?" Kayn asked.

Liam snorted, "Good – and double, pop, because she could – at any time – get pregnant. Recall that she said it will be after the first Blight when the first child is born? But she doesn't know when after; for all we know, it could be that the child is born within a month or two after. Since we don't know, then she could have theoretically been pregnant when he almost killed her."

"… Are you?" Kayn asked.

"Come now, Kayn – if I were, then why would I keep fighting? You know my ideals and such when it comes to family." I deflected.

But Kayn knew me too well, "Iris Stormlight, that isn't a proper answer and you know it. For all I know, you had a vision telling you that you had to fight or your child wouldn't survive. You will tell us now if you are carrying a child or not."

I had made a binding oath to Kayn that I would never lie to him. I cursed and said, "What do you want from me, Kayn? You want me to tell you that I carry a child? Where would be the sense in admitting it if I were? And if I were, then I certainly wouldn't tell you Mr. Over-Protective. Besides – it's not for you to know before my mates if I did! And do you honestly think Liam would simply blackmail me? Do you not think he'd go directly to Anduin or Genn if he so much as suspected? And he'd know – we are linked."

Kayn blinked at me, "You… have a point. Liam would go directly to Genn or Anduin if he suspected it… Liam – boy, tell me honestly."

"Pop – you know I like you like a father; you know Ma is like a mom to me. If she were pregnant, I would do all I could to protect my little brother or sister – you know that." Liam also evaded. He was better at it than me this time.

Kayn relaxed – now believing I wasn't – and said, "I apologize – I shouldn't be making demands in the first place…"

"There was a time when we thought I carried yours, Kayn; I remember how you were back then. Truth be told… a part of me does miss that – miss us. But you are my right-hand now; you aren't my husband any longer. I swore an oath to never lie to you…"

"But that doesn't mean you can't evade and side-step like the Fae in your written stories," he pointed out, "But Liam has no reason to do so that I can see. I truly believe that Liam would rather himself harmed than you if you were with child – and that he would notify someone."

I stuck my tongue out, "Bully."

He actually smiled at me, "It isn't bullying and you know it."

I harrumphed and said, "Come on, all – we have a dragon cult to take care of and sacred healing ashes to collect."

Kayn shook his head and the rest of us walked away.

Alistair looked relaxed – too relaxed… I guess he believed Liam too?

Roselle asked, "So… where are we headed?"

"Haven. You won't have heard of it. The ones there used to be the Guardians of the Temple; their job was merely to make sure nothing bad happened to the Urn. They kept all mentions of themselves off any map for the last thousand years. But now they are a cult – they worship a High Dragon whom they believe to be Andraste Reborn. We will have to kill our way through the village people, through the temple, and up to the inner sanctum. The cultists cannot get into the Inner Sanctum anymore. They have ben cut off by the Guardian. For good measure, I plan to kill the Dragon too." I explained.

"… there's no way to reason with the Cultists?" Rose asked.

"Not unless you want to defile the urn and leave the Dragon alive. Oh – and let the Cultists run amok as they please, denying access to any of the faithful that wish to make a pilgrimage. They're quite hostile. I might be able to round them all up and do it all at once by showing off my Dragon side…" I mused.

"Can we try doing that first?" Lyna asked, "Less time spent fighting, more time spent getting shit done is always a good idea."

Sten nodded, "It would not be wise to delay things by drawing them out."

"Okay – but then, nobody get's to talk while I'm talking there." I shrugged, "Do not call me on my bullshit."

Liam snorted, "Where's the fun in that? Hey – will you make stew again?"

"… If I said no…?" I asked.

"I'm not that petty – as I told Pop, I'm blackmailing you for your safety only. You know that," Liam frowned.

I shrugged, "I don't see why not – if only because I already told Alistair before we picked you up that I would."

Alistair grinned at me – amused beyond anything that I was toying with the Prince of Gilneas.

I then added, "Besides – you need to stop calling Kayn Pop; at least around my husbands, Liam. You're not doing anything more than upsetting them."

"Oh, I don't know – I think it's more amusing than anything. Cullen might have issue with it – he was the one Anduin had to convince when we talked about Kayn before – but you already told me that nothing more would happen with him in that manner. You've taken great care to reassure me – and the others. Liam is just being a boy – I like to think I am or was the same way at some point." Alistair smiled at me.

Morrigan snorted, "Boy? You are more like a flea-ridden dog."

"Well – as I said before – I was raised by them. And tongue baths are not the most effective way to de-flea," Alistair shot back.

Liam barked a laugh, "Gilneans have flea-shampoos that smell nice – I can get you some."

I laughed – not because of the quip, but because… he wasn't lying. Worgens did have trouble with fleas and ticks. So, if you smelled like a wolf, you used one of my specially formulated soaps – it was shampoo with an anti-bug potion in it. I came up with the potion recipe back in Skyrim.

I coughed when the others looked at me, "Sorry – Liam, you know I could simply make a batch here. All I need is some ready-made soap. The potion in it was my own making – you're more than aware of it."

Liam was grinning, "Yeah. Your husbands really are lucky to have you – I hope they're aware of it."

"Course we are," Alistair said at once, "Once a week we all talk on the phones about just how lucky we are. It's our own little 'Worship the Goddess' session."

I groaned, "Tell me that you're joking – please."

"Sort of. It's only once a month," Alistair gave me a goofy grin.

Liam began laughing and I shot him a look. Great – now I had two men teasing me to embarrass me, and one teasing me… in another way. This was going to be a long Blight.