Chapter Thirteen

Garnet was silent as her onyx hair fell against the frame of her face. Alexandria was approaching rapidly and Liam began tugging at chains and turning levers over. Beneath them, she didn't feel any vibrations from the hold. She wondered if her bodyguard was okay. It had grown so quiet. She wondered what scene awaited her once she landed. Surely nothing too gruesome, she reasoned. The soldier was quite capable and charismatic. He probably had already calmed Blank down. Nervously, Garnet tugged at a ring that accented her left hand. What was she going to do? Blank was angry in the chilling slanted rain just half an hour before. He was fed up, he wasn't taking no for an answer. Just as Garnet's heart couldn't rid herself of the heart wrenching loss of Zidane. But what could she do? She couldn't force Beatrix back onto another tiring journey. She couldn't expect Tantalus to put their necks on the line in another fruitless and aggravating attempt. Garnet closed her eyes as the wind whistled by. She would never stop caring, she convinced herself. She would never stop pining or wishing for him. She would never stop curling up beneath the sheets, tormented by his absence. Garnet would never stop loving him. But no one knew that or understood that. She would never convince Blank.

Liam glanced towards her, his disheveled brown hair bobbing on his head. "Hey, are you alright?" He asked, turning his dark eyes back towards navigating into Alexandria. Languidly, other airships sailed past them with festive flags and dutifully ticking engines. Garnet blinked rapidly, glancing to the side of his face.

"I'm fine," Garnet said, rather breathlessly. She pursed her lips as she looked over the red roofs of her kingdom. Home. It felt like anything but sometimes. "I just have a lot of business to tend to…"

Liam tugged a chain down from the slanted roof of the narrow cockpit. A burst of steam shot from the side of the dart-ship and they began to descend. He pursed his lips as he turned the wheel, glancing to Garnet. He thought for a beat more before he opened his lips. "I want to help you, Your Majesty."

Garnet furrowed her bold brow, looking to him. Her stomach jolted despite the smooth decline the ship was taking. "What do you mean?" She gripped a beam, focusing on the tall castle that was growing larger and larger in her sights. Garnet's cheeks had flushed and her stomach tied itself into a knot. The brass bells of the kingdom rang out, sending a flock of cream colored doves scattering across the sky. Dark storm clouds lingered again on the horizon as the spring day began to wane. The gate of the airship dock creaked and groaned as it opened. Deftly, Liam navigated the narrow ship into the covered dock. Soldiers waved their arms as they directed him in. Liam quickly turned a lever and the dart ship released a puff of steam before the engines began to cut out. Around them, the soldiers leapt into action, securing the ship and pushing the boardwalk across the gap. Liam turned towards Garnet, who hugged herself now. Her dark blue button up rumpled across her chest, flaring from her black skirt.

"You shouldn't have to do everything alone, Garnet," Liam told her, his dark eyes falling across her. Garnet felt her stomach flop beneath her porcelain skin. "I don't build airships by myself. You shouldn't have to run an entire kingdom alone. It's not good for you. You'll run yourself into a rut."

"I'm fine," Garnet shook her head. "I have plenty of help. Speaking of which, I should check on Zeke."

Liam pensively licked his lips as Garnet passed. After a moment of hesitation, he reached out and grabbed her elbow. "Garnet," He shook his head. "You can't always be this serious. You need someone. You keep everything bottled up. You're always trying to be so calm and collected."

Garnet glanced to his large hand that encompassed her thin arm. "I suppose you believe you are that person."

Liam raked his hands through his hair, stepping closer to her. "Of course I believe that. Garnet, I think we were meant to be together. Not just because our families are intertwined. You're brilliant and well-spoken. You challenge me. You're everything I've ever wanted in a girl."

Garnet could feel a shiver coming up her spine. She blinked rapidly to ward any unwanted salty tears away. She kept her voice low and even. "This is not the time to discuss such matters, Liam."

He stared at her intensely for a moment. "Is this you're way of telling me you're not interested? Is there someone else?"

"Liam, no…" Garnet sighed, glancing towards the awaiting soldiers beyond the decadent railing. "This isn't my way of saying anything. I just… I'm really busy, alright?"

Boldly, he brought his hands up to cup her cheeks. Garnet's body temperature sky rocketed and her cheeks grew rosy as their faces came only inches apart. "Let me into your world, Garnet. I can handle whatever it is. I want to be there for you. I know Lady Hilda and my mum are meddlesome, but they aren't what drives me to do this. I'm smitten by you, Garnet. I want to be with you."

Garnet's breathing shallowed and she reached up to grip his wrists. A bile was stinging the back of her throat. As she looked at him with her glossy eyes, she felt herself unable to give in. When she blinked, all she saw was Zidane. His blond hair clawing across his excited blue eyes. The way he sheepishly rubbed the nape of his neck. She saw all of his smiles, all his frowns, and even the few sparkling tears he shed. Garnet pulled away from Liam, utterly spooked. Her face was flushed now.

Nervously, Garnet smoothed her dark skirt, ridding her palms of their moisture. "Liam, I am sorry. There's… there's a lot going on in my life right now. It's not fair to you."

"Garnet…"

"Another time," Garnet was breathless as she grabbed the ladder, descending towards the sliding haul door. Her heart was hammering in her chest as she drew her shoulders back and worked on composing her face. The steel handle was cold, nearly stinging her hand, as she swung it open. She wasn't sure what she would be greeted with, but she was certainly surprised. Her bold brow arched upwards as she found Blank and Zidane standing side by side. Blank didn't seem quite as rigid as when she had left him. Zidane adjusted him helmet on his head, reaching to grab Blank's elbow. Garnet folded her hands in front of her. "Blank, I'm sorry…"

"It's fine," Blank said, allowing for Zidane to guide him forward. They emerged into the high-vaulted dock and he took a moment to look around. Blank felt like he wasn't in his own body. It felt like the world made even less sense than before as he became aware of Zidane's hand gripping his arm. "I'm sorry, too, Dagger." Blank looked to her now. "Your bodyguard, Zeke… he's uh… he's really good at calming people down." Garnet looked towards Zidane, who tilted his head down rather bashfully. "I guess I just got a little worked up."

"Passionate," Zidane shrugged. Blank gave him a sheepish look.

"I'm glad you can see it from my prospective," Garnet folded her hands together. "And again, I'm sorry, Blank… What will you do now? I'd be more than happy to host you here for a few days and discuss anything you desire. I want the same thing as you, Blank. I want to find Zidane, too. Perhaps I'm… scared of what we will find. But we can work towards a goal together."

Blank pursed his lips and lowered his eyes. If only she knew… But Blank knew Zidane must have been serious if it meant keeping Garnet in the dark. He was different, just as he insisted. But Blank knew Zidane too well. Whenever Garnet's name was mentioned, his eyes lit up like a lovesick puppy. But it was a different light than what enraptured him as a youth towards the feminine portion of society. Blank knew Zidane loved Garnet. But maybe there was more to it than Blank realized. If only he knew…

"Yeah," Blank finally nodded. "I think I'll stay in Alexandria for a few days if you don't mind."

"You'd be no burden at all," Garnet told him. Liam was climbing down the ladder now, raking his hair from his face.

"I'm staying, too," Liam said, straightening his pilots jacket. Blank immediately felt Zidane's hand tighten around his arm.

"Why's that?" Garnet asked, tilting her head. It made Liam smile. "Don't you have work to do back in Lindblum?"

"If Blank is wanting to create a search party for your dear friend, I'd like to be part of that. I've been to every corner of the Mist Continent. Me and my ships are fully prepared to go even further if that's what it takes," Liam told her, pressing his hand to her shoulder blade. "I'll send word to my mum and Regent Cid. They will understand. And perhaps while I'm here, Garnet, you can show me more of what is required to run an entire kingdom."

Garnet pensively licked her lips. Blank watched her face intently. She nodded slowly, tucking a dark lock of hair behind her ear. "Zeke, will you show Blank to the guest room in the eastern wing? Liam, I will show you to your quarters. Zeke… you can take the rest of the afternoon off. We'll reconvene tomorrow morning. Thank you for your work today."

"Yes, Your Majesty," Zidane saluted, feeling Blank's eyes nearly burning into the side of him. He watched stiffly as the Queen and her companion parted and left the dock together. After a moment, Zidane sighed, pulling his helmet from his head and whisking the brown hair from his face. "Come on, this way," Zidane gestured, showing Blank out the opposite direction. They passed through the tall, stony archway, brushing by busts and pedestals, and paintings that no one gave a second glance anymore. Nowadays, everyone was much too wrapped up in themselves. Zidane tensely held his helmet beneath his arm, marching forward. He looked to Blank, pressing his lips together. "What? Why are you staring at me like that?"

Blank shrugged, tilting his shoulders to squeeze past a set of butlers polishing silverware and trays. "I dunno, man. I still can't help but think how stupid this all is."

"Yeah, so I've been told," Zidane said, directing them up the winding stairs.

"I mean, really, Zidane?" Blank shook his head. "You're going to let that tool make a move on your girl while you play make-believe?"

"There's more to it than that," Zidane told him, adjusting his helmet beneath his arm.

"Yeah? Well, explain it," Blank nodded his head. The soldier took his brother towards a dark mahogany door nestled in the corner of the castle's eastern wing. Blank's eyes looked all around as he soaked in what his living accommodations would be. A poster bed with shimmering, silky, blue and gold sheets. Large windows that peered down onto the garden and soldier barracks. Creamy curtains that waved in the gentle summer breeze. There were decadent chairs with royal red brocade fabric lining the rich wood carved to look like ivy leaves and roses. A bookshelf of knick knacks and history, long forgotten by whoever designed the room. Blank kicked the door shut behind him, crossing his arms over his chest. Zidane let out an aggravated sigh as he let his helmet tumble into a fabric recliner sat in the corner by the windows. Zidane pushed the glass pane further out, gripping the sill.

"I don't want to be the King, Blank."

"Who said you had to be?" Blank held his arms out at his side.

"She's a packaged deal," Zidane turned towards him, the warm afternoon sun falling across his shoulders. It was still jarring to Blank seeing Zidane with such dark, ruffled short hair. "She can't abandon the throne for some scum like me. No one would let her. I wouldn't let her. But I have no right taking that throne, Blank."

"So, what, you're going to let Liam take that position?"

"I mean… he'd be better suited, wouldn't he?" Zidane shrugged, pacing between the shimmering glass now. "He's an engineer. What am I?"

"The right person for Dagger," Blank insisted. "Dude, she doesn't even like him. She loves you."

Zidane crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head. His heart thundered in his chest. "Maybe she just loves the idea of me."

"Man, you really did change," Blank collapsed into a chair, letting out a hefty sigh. "Never thought I'd see the day where I'd be trying to convince you to go after a girl who actually has feelings for you."

"I'm in over my head, I get it…" Zidane seated himself on the chest that was perched at the foot of the bed. He crumpled over, digging his elbows into his knees. His eyes scanned over his tired gloves and he ground his teeth together as he looked at the silver bracers on his forearms. "I don't even know what I want anymore, Blank."

Blank tilted his head back into the rays of light illuminating the room. His red hair glowed and his shoulders lifted in contemplation. "All I know is there's finally a girl whose good for you and it's like you don't even know what to do with it. For the first time ever, it's working out for you and you're throwing it right back to the universe! But you'll date some crazy girl like Astrid who will break your airship models just because you looked at someone else."

Zidane felt the blood rush to his ears. His skin paled significantly and he lifted his eyes to the glowing afternoon. "Astrid's here, Blank."

"What?" Blank furrowed his brow. "I haven't seen Astrid since Molly died. Figured she disappeared after Lindblum was flattened."

"Delta and Felicia… they're on Squad Beatrix," Zidane told him. "I saw the three of them at the pub the other day."

"But why?" The red headed man shook his head. "Why would they be here?"

Zidane shuffled his boots against the carpet, clasping his leather gloves together. He pursed his lips tightly, shaking his head. After a beat, Zidane lifted his eyes to look at his brother. "Same reason as me, I guess. They're scoping the place out."

"Why would they do that? Are you sure you didn't mistake someone for them?"

"It was them, Blank, it'd be hard to mistake them, don't you think?" Zidane shook his head and sighed heavily, looking out to the peaceful day that betrayed his inner qualms.

"And just why would they be here?" Blank tilted his head against the silky brocade, exhaustion washing over him from the whirlwind of a day that was finally dawning on him. "What suddenly would make them want to dedicate themselves to the Alexandrian throne?"

Zidane was quiet for a moment, listening to the birds carefree twittering beyond the window. He eventually shrugged, clapping his dusty, tired gloves together. "I don't know, Blank. But whatever the reason… it gives me a really bad feeling."

…

The sky was transcending into a beautiful sherbet of oranges, yellows, pinks, and dark blues. It bled into Garnet's private study where she sat at her desk with a stiff back. Distantly, the dark storm clouds drew near. Her jaw rested in her hand, her elbow sat a top all the work she had yet to catch up with. Beneath her lost gaze sat the note from Liam, done up in its fancy cursive. For a smart girl, who inspires me daily. No cloud, no squall, shall hinder us. Liam. She felt her stomach clench and she sighed, pushing the parchment away, sweeping it up in the mess that reflected her own mind. Garnet sighed and closed her eyes, rubbing dully at her forehead. Her mind was in an absolutely whirlwind from the afternoon events. What stress she already felt was accentuated. She let out another hefty sigh, opening her eyes to gaze over the damning parchments that laid before her, unorganized and frazzled like her own mind. Garnet paused for a moment before reaching towards a few packaged envelopes, dutifully answered and sealed. Her fingers grazed the rigid edge of the paper and Garnet felt a shiver run down her spine.

Zeke… She pursed her lips. The elusive soldier who she felt she knew so well, but at the same time, not at all. Garnet turned the envelope in her hands, her dark eyes following the contours of his crisp folding. He showed up so unexpectedly. And yet, Steiner saw enough light in him to appoint him to her side. There was something about Zeke. He made Garnet feel so at ease. Something about him carried a laid back nature that she deeply craved to have herself. It almost reminded her of Zidane, but she stopped herself, sighing, and laying the envelope down. Garnet shook her head, her dark locks framing her heart shaped face. What was it about Zeke that she found herself so drawn to? He felt like more than just a typical bodyguard. In a way, she saw him as a saving grace; a light that illuminated the typically dull, monotonous day that encompassed a longing queen. Garnet slowly licked her lips as she heard in the distance another low rumble of thunder. She lifted her head, watching as the array of pastels fading across the sky were slowly overtaken by the gray scale of a storm.

"It's you and me tonight, Zidane," Garnet whispered, looking towards the clock above the mantle signifying a quarter to eight. She wondered briefly what Zeke was doing with his evening off, but she quickly shook it away. He had been a victim in the wake of her delayed action. The fact he couldn't show his face shook her to her core. What if she had acted faster? Garnet pressed a hand to her temple as the thundering storm clouds drew closer. Maybe Zeke's life would have turned out differently, she thought. Maybe hers as well. Perhaps they could have had their own happy ending; being who they truly were and being surrounded by those they truly wanted. Garnet closed her eyes again, feeling the hot, salty tears present themselves. If only she had acted faster, she thought to herself. Garnet cursed her timid nature, her naive self. She was blaming herself for everything in that moment. All the damage her friends took on, it was because of her, she was convinced. Burmecia covered in scaffolding, bordered by exhausted members of society. The dusty tears that fell from the eyes of citizens finding the flattened ruins of Cleyra,with no absolution as to what had happened. She was drowned in shame as she recalled the robust fans of Treno, listening to their remarks of hardship that by no means met the definition. Garnet lowered her head, her face pinched. Maybe everyone would have been better off without her. She wondered how she survived her own childhood. Was it truly fate that she washed up on the beach at the exact moment they needed her? Was there something else at play? After all she had been through, Garnet's faith was wavering that she had a true purpose. To her, it was all unorganized like her mind. Fate couldn't be real, she reasoned. Soul mates were clandestine, she told herself. What would she know?

The door to the study swung open in the next moment and Garnet immediately perked at her desk on command. She blinked rapidly to erase her tears and came to her feet. When she looked over her shoulder, she was confronted with a scene of Liam holding flute glasses and a bottle of champagne. He had dressed more casually, in an olive tunic and slick black slacks that accentuated the slender nature of his body. He grinned as he entered the room, swaying in his step. Garnet's cheeks immediately warmed and she cursed herself yet again.

"Wh… what's this?" Garnet shook her head, gripping the back of her chair.

"I thought we should celebrate," Liam grinned as he set the clinging glasses down on a table. The cork popped and the champagne fizzled as he filled the glasses. He grabbed the foaming drinks, holding one out to Garnet. The storm clouds were gathering across the horizon now, darkening the study room windows. Liam grinned as he held the glass towards the pensive Garnet. "The dart-ship is a success, Garnet. Piloting it through the rain, multiple trips of starting and stopping, the different landing trajectories… it was all a win. And it's thanks to you." He took a step closer to her, edging the foaming flute glass in her direction.

Garnet licked her lips, glancing towards the approaching storm clouds. Her insides weighed heavily on her, but she remained composed, just as she was taught, reaching out with her slender hand to hesitantly grasp her glass. Liam's smile only grew broader as she held the drink against her timid, slim body. "I didn't do anything."

"You did everything," Liam surged forward, gripping her arm tenderly. His pale complexion glowed as the storm traveled closer and closer, as if all of Garnet's internal conflictions and fears were manifesting into a shadow that was to swallow Gaia. "You inspired me to think on a whole new level. You showed me that I could expand my prospectives, utilize all my skills and assets as an engineer. The dart-ship is revolutionary, Garnet. It can be made cheaper, making it more affordable to citizens. Think of how fast we could all move if everyone just had a dart-ship. And with your help, you've helped me realize all of it. This is a cheers… to you, Garnet." He held his glass up. Garnet felt so numb. In the next moment, however, the thunder overhead startled her. "Garnet… Garnet," He said her name so softly. It made her heart pound in her chest. "You're so worked up. I know today was stressful. Do you… want to talk about it?"

Garnet paced towards the window. The clouds were dark, stewing amongst each other. It would only be moments until the rain was released like all the tears she had cried and would continue to shed. She sighed, picking at the button on the cuff of her long sleeve shirt. "I'm afraid I don't have much to say."

"That's why I'm here," Liam came to stand beside her and she trained her eyes forward. "You don't have to face this all alone, Garnet. I don't want you to."

Garnet pursed her lips, setting her flute glass down. "I'm sorry, but there are some things people cannot understand, Liam. I do appreciate you, I hope you know that. But… there are things I don't want to talk about."

Liam was slow to take a sip of his crisp champagne. "What was he like?" Garnet lifted her eyes to his. "This Zidane-guy. He must have been pretty fantastic to have all of you this worked up."

"He was…" Garnet was slow to nod. "He impacted all of our lives for the better."

"Did you love him?"

A bolt of lightning lit the sky up, illuminating Garnet's olive complexion. She clasped her hands together. The question alone made her very fidgety. Slowly, she took in a shallow breath. "We all loved him in our ways."

"And will he occupy your heart forever…?" Liam tilted his head, his dark ruffled hair falling across his forehead.

Garnet hugged herself and together they looked out the wall-length windows. The first few droplets of the summer storm began to streak down the glass panes. "I don't know, Liam. I don't even know what I want. Ever since everything has happened I just feel…" She took in a deep breath, swaying her shoulders. "I feel indifferent to everything. It's like any processing power I had left is all gone. I don't know how I manage get out of bed every day and face this entire kingdom head on. I feel so lost. Like my journey answered nothing. All it left was even more questions."

"Like what?" Liam asked, watching the side of her distressed face.

Garnet shrugged, somewhat uselessly. "I don't know why I'm truly here, Liam. I wasn't supposed to be the Queen."

"You're letting it all to get your head," Liam turned to her as a rumble of thunder rang out. He reached out to gently squeeze her shoulder. "You're doubting yourself and it's perfectly normal, given what you've gone through. But you're meant to be the Queen, Garnet. There'd be no better pick than you."

Garnet lowered her eyes for a moment. There are some things people cannot understand… After a moment, she nodded. Outside, the pace of the rain began to pick up. "It's just hard, that's all. But I appreciate your support, Liam. Truly."

"Let's have a drink, Garnet. Let's unwind," He smiled, holding his glass up again. "You, of all people, deserve a break. Let's take one and cheers to the success of the dart-ship." Garnet looked towards her glass but she made no move to reach for it. "Garnet, please." He leaned in closer to her. "Let's just sit down and watch the storm roll in. We can talk about whatever you'd like. I could never get tired of hearing you talk."

Garnet held her breath for a moment before she reached for her flute glass. She offered a soft smile. "Okay, Liam. We can chat for a bit."

"That's what I like to hear," His pearly smile returned. "I'd love to pick your brain, Your Majesty."

She could feel her heart droop.

…

The barstools creaked as Zidane and Blank swung themselves towards the bar and were promptly served foamy, golden ale. Because of the steady downpour outside, The Blind Fox was not too busy. It was occupied by the typical soldiers. Zidane kept his eyes trained down as he drank his ale. Blank was busy looking around, inspecting each member of Squad Beatrix and the Knights of Pluto closely. He didn't recognize anyone on a first glance. Zidane allowed his dark hair to fall around the frame of his eyes and he heaved a sigh. It had been a day. As much as he hated working such a standard schedule, he truly did miss being around Garnet. His mind was all ruffled up as his thoughts surrounding her grace and virtue. Even after all she'd been through and all he would continue to make her endure, she did everything with a lifted chin and an unshakable spirit. It made Zidane ooze from his heart. It made him feel sweaty. Blank was right and so was Beatrix and Steiner. This was stupid. What a mess he had made. But still, his bleeding internals chewed away at him and the voice in the back of his mind reminded him of all he'd amount to: pain, disillusion, and anxiety.

"Can I ask you something?" Blank asked, tilting his glass and watching the smooth foam gather together. Zidane blinked rapidly, returning to the moment. Blank pursed his lips. "Do you really want to be Zeke for the rest of your life? Is what you said on the airship true? That you're… a test tube baby?"

"… Yeah," Zidane nodded, placing his elbows to the bar. He took a moment to relish in his drink. "All those years I spent wondering what my mom and dad looked like… wondering if they loved each other or ever thought about me… it was all just a farce. I never had parents. I was just someone else's unnatural idea." Zidane took another swig. "Ever since it was all explained to me…" Zidane sighed, shaking his head. "I just… I feel like I never understood who I was again after that. I questioned everything. And I'm having a really hard time getting rid of that mindset. Who am I supposed to be now?" He furrowed his brow and shrugged, lifting his eyes to Blank. "How could I ever pretend to be me again, after everything I've been through. I've hurt all my friends, I hurt my family… I hurt this world, Blank."

"That doesn't mean you give up and turn tail," Blank shook his head. "No matter what you've done or what you've endured, there will always be people who love you, Zidane. Whatever you found out about yourself, it doesn't change how I perceive you. Or how Dagger will think of you. We just want you back in our lives."

Behind them, a flash of lightning illuminated their backs. Zidane closed his eyes, letting out a hefty sigh. "I wish I could just flip a switch in me, Blank, and convince myself of that. But… I just can't. Dagger is a literal angel. I'm just some wound up mess. And Dagger doesn't deserve that… I don't even deserve her."

"You know that's not true," Blank tilted his head back as his belly grew warm from the beer. For as long as we've known each other, you've been one of the most unknown, invisible guys in this universe. Now you have a Queen pining after you and you are just letting it all go. It's not like you, Zidane."

Zidane sighed, but still a rare grin came to his face. "Yeah, well… I walked along the fire and I got burned. Surprise, surprise, huh?"

"I think Dagger would you accept you, no matter what kind of person you think you are."

"Too bad this isn't one of Lord Avon's love stories, huh?" Zidane looked to Blank. In the next moment, however, he saw a cloaked figure moving behind him. Zidane furrowed his brow as Blank glanced over his shoulders. The slender figure grabbed a chair and scraped it back before standing on it. By now, the few curious bar dwellers cast their eyes as the stranger lifted their hood back. Zidane's heart nearly plummeted to his feet.

"Dude," Blank's eyes had grown wide as he glanced to Zidane. "It's Astrid."

Zidane was quiet as his gripped tightened around his glass. He watched as she brushed her dark, long hair from the frame of her olive face. She took the time to scan the room and that's when she and Zidane made eye contact. They held it tensely. A surprised look began to grow across her smooth skin but she composed her face. The eye contact waned on for a few more beats and they silently began to remember all the moments they shared. But it dissipated as Astrid looked back towards the bar occupants.

"My friends," She spoke in her clear voice. It shook Zidane to his inner core. His past life had nearly been completely shrouded for him in the past year of events. But hearing her voice unraveled something within him, making him regret many things. "I have much to tell you from inside sources. Queen Garnet doesn't have all of us in mind…"

From the bar, Zidane bit down on his lip so hard, he tasted copper.