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I don't own anything related to Fate/stay night; this is a work of parody.
Act One: Fall
Fragment of Happiness (Music) /S77ZhgCWtas
It is the beginning of the fall when all is brought back to the beginning. There was a light rain that grew slowly. It all started with a seemingly meaningless conversation...
Kiritsugu was reading over a piece of paper he had received. I had already made him breakfast and tea and had an eerie suspicion of what it was. "Hmm..."
Taiga had come over; I think to face her end head-on. 'Fuji-nee... I will go down with you if you wish it.' It's on me for not stopping you...
"Shirou... could you go clean the storehouse for a few minutes?" He said, not looking away from the paper for a moment. The paper was a banknote.
"Alright, Old Man." He chuckled as I called him that.
I left the room and started to go out... but I didn't make it that far. I stopped, and my muscles refused to move. My body would not listen to me.
'Ah... I see.' I can't leave if Fuji-nee is in trouble. Since I am to blame as well, I can't just leave her there... And so I watch, stealthy from the hall. I wait and see if I need to come and save her. I am but a shadow: a formless observer. I exist outside the memories of others and thus can not be seen.
Father starts to speak up, "Now Taiga-chan, would you happen to know anything about this?"
As she happily munched down the rice and egg recipe I made her, she takes the note and sees what it is... then starts the first phase of her breakdown, "Uwa...You know I wouldn't do something like that, haha!" She was so obviously guilty, but it was worth a try, I guess.
All it took was one look at her,
"I see, then how come you are wearing that new clothing?"
She was wearing... goth clothing. We hadn't said anything before now, out of the compassion of our hearts and our acceptance of her... but, I mean... really, Fuji-nee? You thought you could trick a master detective like Kiritsugu?
"...Y-you s-see, K-kiritsugu-san...! I...Wagghhh! Waaaah! Shirou made me, he said I wasn't feminine enough and... waagh!" Her tears started to fall.
Fuji-nee was a true demon. Not because she cried false tears, but because they were always sincere and forced you to forgive her.
Dad's eyes softened, and he couldn't bear to admonish her too hard, "Come now, Taiga-chan, It's something to work out, not cry over... The money is fine. I wanted you guys to find some use for it... So I forgive you. Even if it was 5000 pounds spent on women's clothes..."
5000 pounds... that's like 700000 yen, 'Fuji-nee... what have you done...'
"It's nothing, haha?" She forced out a nervous laugh. Her face was still as white as death's, but she always did tend to look towards the positives. "So... we'll just forget about it, right?"
Dad's deep voice cut her down, "Just because I forgive you doesn't mean you're off the hook from compensation..."
"Wait...! I uhh, have m-money! I have money." She started giving Dad odd bills from her pocket. Taiga was renowned for wasting her money on random things. I knew for a fact she had barely anything to her name; this was Raiga's.
"Taiga-chan... Raiga's money doesn't count, and... you really should put this back where you found it, as I don't think your grandfather will appreciate that I would have this." He made a quick look at the two of us. "I have something... more meaningful in mind."
Dad paused to think, but that just let her mind go wild.
White was replaced with red. "Uh, waha...whaa...waha?" Her face reddened like a big tomato.
Dad frowned, "Waha?" Even Dad, who can be a taiga whisperer at times, was having problems comprehending her. He looked worried she was choking. He put his hand on her shoulder to stabilize her shaking, "Are you alright, Taiga?"
"Well... You know, You're not forcing me to do that, right...?" She whispered fearfully. "I mean! Not that I wouldn't! I mean! I would have to think! I think you are a great man and all... But! I'm still just a cub, and you know-" Taiga rambled.
I didn't really get it, but Dad stopped her from talking further, "Taiga, please... don't continue. Hah, it's just that you and Shirou, could you and him..." He stopped as if it was painful to say.
Giving Fuji-nee the power the fill in the lines just leads to disaster, "...Marry! B-but Kiritsugu-san, he's not old enough yet!"
Dad rubbed his temples a little, then just looked at her, "..." It was a glare that could kill. "Taiga, the fact that you didn't even deny such a thing..." He shook his head.
Then he sighed, remembering what sort of person she is, "Hah... sorry, never mind. Listen, I'll say it straight then, my terms: will you ask me for permission before using my money?"
"...Yes." She looked down. The fact that she hesitated said certain things about her spending problems.
Dad continued, but with a more serious voice looking away to where he thought I was, "And... can you just look after him, alright?" Dad muttered difficultly.
Her eyes opened wide in understanding, and she answered without hesitation, "I promise." She nodded.
"Thank you, Taiga. I trust you." Why was Dad so strange? It's not like he's going away anymore... that's what he said. Dad joked a bit to lessen the tension; he could see she was feeling bad about what she had done, "That is expensive clothing though... that's London for you, though, hah."
Then Taiga did an awkward flip of her arm and sort of leaned in toward him, "Well... Do you think it looks good on me...?" Her cheeks reddened a little.
He looked to her meaningfully, "Uh, well... Hmm, I like your normal look. It suits who you are." He spoke with an honest yet understanding voice, just as I would expect my peerless father to have.
A drip of Disappointment leaked out of her, "You mean... with my old look, you...?" Her eyes sparkled with a difficult expression. "I... I respect you, and you know, I am very thankful to you... It just that I sometimes wish that-" As Taiga stammered with an earnest look, Dad stopped her.
"Taiga." His voice stopped her and stayed in the air. "For my sake... don't complete that thought."
She shrank a little, "...Yes, sorry. Kiritsugu-san... " I hated seeing that, but since I didn't understand what the exchange meant, I could only watch.
It was quiet. Taiga was quiet. That was wrong as well.
Then Dad said something unlike him, "Taiga... one day you'll find someone much better than I, I promise you." He held his hands together and made a complex expression as if he was being berated by someone.
"Oh... Thank you..." To hear it from him meant much, for he was not the sort of person to make promises.
She got up and walked to the door where I hid. She stopped as if to say something, "..." But no words left her mouth.
Then she smiled and ran out of the house.
A mixture of sadness and happiness, and confusion filled her chest. She didn't even see me as her conviction carried her down a single path. She let go of something that day, and I think that she would be better for it.
A piece of bread in her mouth, hoping to run into the man of her dream. Literally, of course. The sight of Taiga without tiger-striped clothes on was deemed apocryphal by the people of Fuyuki, and it was collectively forgotten by all. As for the clothes, she put all the clothes she bought with Dad's money into her guest room and never wore them again. It was her way of repentance, I guess.
The days roll on.
This Illusion ((piano ver.)Music) /tcnmWGyOOPA
I sat on the front porch waiting for a girl in red to appear.
I had told Shirou not to unpack just yet, so we are ready to leave at a moment's notice. He was off on one of his walks... I think it is healthy for the boy, but it does make me have a strange sense of dread to see him go alone to... that horrible place.
I can't leave here, for his sake. I don't want Shirou to live as I did, never to know a single home. Worse still would be to take that home away from him...
I will do what is necessary, even if it is something I hate more than anything: diplomacy. "Tohsaka Rin: age 10. Head of the Tohsaka family, and second owner to the spiritual lands of Fuyuki." I read over my notes. I had her marked down before the war.
She is just a child, but I will treat her with respect. Magi, no matter their age, hate to be looked down on.
One week to the minute, she will be here. It is an interesting spell, one that requires the consent of the two parts. Though... I may have spooked her a bit. It was a spell I had managed to learn from a mage begging for his life. I let him explain how it would work, then I shot him.
The time came, and I heard the pitter-patter of shoes on stone coming up the path. I waited at the front, looking as no-menacing as possible, but I don't know how well that looks. The girl in red is alone and doesn't look happy.
She walks up to me and gives me a stern glare, impressively menacing for a child. "You are Emiya," She paused as the memory spell broke and let her recall what happened a week before. "Kiritsugu-san. The father of Shirou-kun?" There was a definite disconnect on how she spoke Shirou's name compared to mine.
"That is me." She had a stern face; I don't think she liked me.
"I have an agreement for you. I wish to come under your protection as the second owner of Fuyuki. I am just a simple hedge mage... magic-user myself, I was not aware of that you were even here."
"Liar." She didn't look away for a second.
"And why do you say that?" I narrowed my eyes at her, but she didn't seem to care.
"A hedge mage wouldn't know a spell-like that... Hmm, and there's no way" She held her finger up as if teaching me.
"Hmph, you caught me. Indeed, I knew you were here, but I just sought some privacy. I am doing nothing to threaten your position here." Unless you count the bombs under the leylines, but that is best left unmentioned.
"You are plenty of a threat. I me, I should have you tried as an illegal resident. The ancient laws give full authority to the second owner to try trespassers."
She says that yet she comes alone like so, "And yet you came here alone."
She frowns, "Hmph... You're lucky that you just seem to just a bit less difficult than that fake priest. I am open to a deal. What is it you want?"
"Yes, I seek to harbor in your land." It was unavoidable now that we had come into contact.
"Hmph, then I will inform the Church and the association then, and we can..." She started getting ahead of herself.
"You will not." I took an authoritative tone.
"Huh? Be clear, old man, do you wish to seek harbor or not?" She looked annoyed.
"You will tell no one, but you will harbor me," I repeated, showing this was something I would not budge on.
"What...? But that's putting all the trouble onto me! You're the one who's in trouble here, mister!" She pointed accusingly.
"Hmph... I can reimburse you." I chuckled despite myself.
I can't push her too hard. A child's emotions are like a storm, literally, in the case of one with magic. Magical energy sparkled in the air as she took some deep breaths.
"Reimburse!? No amount of money is worth the association branding me a pariah for harboring a hedge mage like you!"
"They would not, and they generally don't care if you contact them or not."
"And how do you know that? Hedge mage-san?" She inquired suspiciously.
Maybe a softer voice would work, "I worked with the association in my time, but I am retired now. I know the laws well; they do not care about those who do no research. I simply seek the privacy of my home, that is all I ask." I played an older man a bit too well.
"So you don't have a workshop, and you don't do research?" She was suspicious because to a girl who has been taught that magic is supreme and is all that matters, the fact that I don't care for it is unthinkable. Magi are like toddlers, selfish and cruel, and the Association is the daycare keeping them in check, if minimally.
"No, as I said, I am not really a magus."
"Hmm, then you wouldn't mind if I checked that a little? You have nothing to hide, of course." She had a dangerous glint in her eyes... I had a poor feeling about this.
"Go ahead..." There was nothing there of mine... oh, but there was-
She turned across the yard and regarded the simple structure. "There!" She pointed to the storehouse. "At least try to hide something if you're going to lie; it really ruins the challenge." She flipped her hair in some sort of a triumph.
"May I go in, Emiya-san?" She said ecstatically.
"...You may," I said after a little deliberation.
"Truly? I really will go in, you know?" Now her eyes were confused. She must have thought my workshop was the storehouse. The only place that I still do some magic in is the kitchen to make some calming tea for Shirou or to help Shirou in the Dojo. I had no workshop as she would think of it. "Hmm, I don't like this. Invite me in!"
She must think it a trap. "Tohsaka Rin may enter." I said it as a proclamation as if it mattered. She nodded her head, satisfied. Children were a simple lot. They like to be assured with something familiar to them. I could suppose, therefore, that with her home, unwelcome guests would be faced with a foul trap.
The storeroom was a musty and dirty place, with some bad memories to boot. I stood with the old magic circle to my back, exerting my influence to push her attention elsewhere.
"This is not impressive at all." She muttered disappointedly. It was no workshop as she would know it. Indeed, most of what was here were Taiga's junk she left for Shirou to sort out.
"This is Shirou's place to train. Not much of a workshop, though."
"S-Shirou's place...?" Again, her stone face faltered when his name came to. I could not tell what it was that the two were to each other. She said she was a friend, and yet I could hear her slap him from across the house. Young kids shouldn't have complicated relationships, it didn't make sense to me.
"My son is my apprentice, as you must know. You came to my house after having felt his magical energy — I assume to find me — his teacher." That is what I figured, at least. I can't blame Shirou for it, it was likely a poor stroke of fate. Fate was something I had long since come to understand as something that hates me.
"Yes, I-I definitely knew all along!" Her face was red. She went along with my deduction a tad too readily.
"As you can see, there is nothing here. Shall we complete our discussion elsewhere?" I hoped to leave the room as it did... not suit the
"Wait a moment! I will be the judge of that!" Eyes of ferocious curiosity flickered into view. She grabbed a very simple-looking bowl and held it up, "What is this?"
"It seems to be a bowl to me." My teeth clenched as I realized the issue here. There were bowls on top of bowls in here, and more than that... twisted objects that Shirou tried to create with projection. I told him there was no point... but he never seems to listen to my magic advice much anymore... The scary part is that I sometimes feel that he knows more than I do...
"I can see that, but it feels... off..." Her eyes wandered around the room. As you turn, everywhere you look, there is a bowl there... Some were misformed, and others were hollow of something. It can be said that even I felt a bit strange seeing so many broken and misformed bowls everywhere. "This is projection of your magic?"
She was confused because it was not projection as she would know it. Shirou's magic... always did feel a little different from the norm.
This is one such reason I hate magi. They never know when to stop looking into something, "It is impolite to look into someone's magic when they are not here, is it not?
"Hmph, you invited me! Hmm? But that means this is Shirou's!?" She swiftly dismissed me and continued looking.
What could I do to stop her? 'Kill her!' Voices cried, 'Then kill Shirou and yourself! We can all be together!' I clenched my eyes to drown them out with pain. What stupid thoughts...
She turned the bowl all over and looked carefully, "...Shirou's... magic, eh? How...?" Her eyes looked entranced by the mystery of it. She flipped it about as if she actually cared about the craftmanship of the bowl.
The moment of silence stretches out to infinity. The black thought could be managed normally... but here they slipped in, I am betrayed by my wish to see this girl away. Like parasites, the thought invades my mind through my ears and tries to control my every decision.
Her guard was down. I could kill her in a moment. Why is this girl so self-assured she was safe? The arrogance of magic, or maybe a sign that she believes me to the extent that she thinks I am no threat. That is how it always is, for magi only believe magic can compete with them. 'Ahh... I couldn't kill a kid...'
'Don't think, just act! Remember how it was with Shirley!? How many lives could you save!? Just like when you killed your father, and your mother, and Ilya! and your beloved wife!? Are you so pathetic now that you can't even butcher one tiny girl? Where did the magus killer go!?'
My hand started to creep to the hidden knife in my back. 'Kill... Kill...' I felt like I was underwater.
'You were never a diplomat, were you? You're a killer, so do what feels natural to you! The girl's neck is just waiting for someone to cut it off. Aren't you doing everyone a favor? One less magus to worry about!'
My eyes slowly came only to see her pristine neck... no- I was coming closer and closer to it. 'Who do I wish to kill?' ...I may have killed, but was I truly a bloodthirsty murderer? I turn the knife behind my back around and point it towards my heart. 'An end to it all, am I so weak? Can I not do the basic obligation of living normally?'
It isn't that I wish for death...
Oblivious to my inner turmoil, the girl turns around to me and resolves her own worries, "Hmph... Fine, I'll do it! I will harbor you in secret!" She looked up and saw that I was just inches from her. "Ah!" She shrieked and fell back. "You... You! scared me, you creep!"
The shriek broke through the fog of my head, and I swiftly hid the knife back in the hidden pocket.
"...Sorry." My whole being hurt horribly, what am I doing...? She is a child Shirou's age, how can I think to kill her...? Or myself? "I just... misjudged the distance. My eyes are not what they were..." The lies came so easily to me.
I am a liar. I am a horrible man. A mind of steel, but it shattered and maligned, a cancerous mass eats through it.
She stood up and dusted herself off, "You really are no different from that fake priest!" I know she speaks of some other priest... but all I can think of is that man: Kotomine Kirei. He is dead, though; I shot him dead. Surely, I never ever saw him after that...
My breath was in my throat, but I had to move on, "And your terms?" I would rather end this soon.
"Terms!? I feel that maybe I should blast you away here and now!" Her hand was pushed out like a gun. The Gandr shot ready at any moment. She didn't sense for a moment that I was approaching her, that is why she had a fearful and angry expression on her face.
"I am sorry... I didn't mean to scare you." My feigned fear was so pathetic; it sounded more like disinterest. A Gandr curse is nothing compared to the affliction that I already carry.
A long sigh came out of her as she took deep breathes; she had an impressive understanding of anger management. "Hmph... Then I will forgive you. You are not as bad as the priest if you feel bad about it." She tapped her shoes to force out the words. She still hated me, but not as much as this priest she knew, apparently. "My terms are this: you will reimburse me for all the time you have been here in normal money; You will defend me from outside incursion; You will commit to certain tasks I ask of you... and..." She stopped abruptly; her tongue seemed to catch itself on something.
Relief filled me as her forgiveness came. It meant more to me than she could even realize. I can't believe that I feel this way about a ten-year-old forgiving me... I am pathetic. 'Who is the immature one here?' This girl was reasonable past her age.
I would never say it, but it was too easy, but it was uncharacteristically generous, "That is... acceptable. If that's all, then we can make a contract-"
She wasn't that easy, though. "There's one more thing..." A grimace came to her. She was squirming about uncomfortably.
I had a poor feeling about this, "What is it?"
She whispered it gently with her head down, "I... Shi... er..." It was too quiet to hear.
"Can you say that again?" My eyebrows furrowed.
"I said: I want Shirou as my butler!" Her face morphed into an almost... desperate visage. Her eyes increased in intensity then receded as a sense of control returned. "...I-I just need to look after a potential threat, o-of course!" There was a shadow cast over her eyes, leaving a dark impression of her.
This... was an unreasonable request. It was not what I expected either.
It all brought back sinister whispers to my ears. 'Don't let anyone touch him! Rip her to shreds; he is not hers to have!' I focus on the distant sky, a faraway and beautiful dream. If this girl can calm herself, then I can too.
To make Shirou... some sort of hostage, that would not be ideal. I would not force him to that end. But... to live anywhere for a long time takes a degree of sacrifice. Just like I had to make connections with the Fujimura group to find a place, is it already time for Shirou to pay his dues as well?
I wouldn't force him to..., but I would also not choose for him. 'If my father had given me that choice, to stay somewhere peacefully... Wouldn't that have been great?'
"...Yes... that is fair." As I looked back at her, she had a ghastly face. As if she had realized what she had said and was dreadfully embarrassed.
'A tantrum, yes, it must just be a tantrum...' The world is simple. Children are emotional beings; sometimes, they yell even unusual things. 'Self-denial is such an easy thing, isn't it, Kiri? Maybe you should try drowning in it.'
I explained it all away and buried it deep. "If that is all, then I would respectfully ask you to leave."
She held her forehead and nodded, "Yes... I will be back with the written contract. I will be back... I will be..." She muttered continuously.
"I will wait and assume you are holding to the deal until then. ...I will explain it all to Shirou-" She spoke up before I finished.
"No... leave that to me. I will tell him myself when I return." She huffed.
It was acceptable, "I see... I will come sometime then." She held her dead as if she had a headache and listlessly turned to leave.
Never looking back, she left the residence and made her way up the hill to her home.
She was troublesome and bad for my health... But at least she had some reason. I could at least say that she is easier than the Matou.
As for me, I was so exhausted I slept until dinner. Shirou looked to have some happiness serving me food. I could smile a little, thinking that he could live here, but I worried that I had now doomed him to a life in the moonlit world. It was his choice, but I could tell how he would answer. Shirou would never leave Fuyuki if he could help it.
The summer ended, but the girl didn't end up coming back with her contract for some time.
Reunion (Music) /efpGRmC85j4
A week or so after the trip to London, School started all over again. Not exactly my favorite time, but once it gets going, it is tolerable.
Time moved on. Life is built on those everydays where few things happen.
Life was the same struggle. I was trying to create a body made out of curses. It sounds weird even to me... but it makes sense, I guess.
A curse is like a living thought, as it is filled with emotion. If healing magic is the antithesis of a curse, and that can be used to heal or even create life of sorts, then a curse should be able to do it to... I have no one but Mom to talk to and she just likes to encourage me with weird stories. I can't tell Dad so I can surprise him and I don't want to stress him out or get his hopes up. Sakura and I... have an unspoken rule to ignore the fact we are magi.
Who else is there that has magic...? Luvia...? I think she made it clear to me that in magic culture, actually talking about magic is taboo.
So I am alone to keep trying, even if it's a failure every night.
In a such stagnant life, even a small change can make a big difference...
One day, I woke to something stinging on my chest. It felt like a cut where my heart was.
I looked and found... letters. Etched into my skin were cuts in the form of two letters. A.B. It was unmistakable that it was those two Latin characters. They were jagged and sharp as if a large cat had used its claws to do it.
A scar! a legitimate scar. It looked to be not so old either and deep, deep enough for it never to heal...
It wasn't there before; when did I last check my heart? When did I get this? It made me worried.
It was a mystery. Did something... carve it in there without having me feel it? That made no sense.
'Taiga?' I thought. Some sort of horrible prank? She did live to prank, but I dismissed it. Taiga would never do something like this, and if she did, then it would be F. T., not A. B.
What is A.B.? (Abs): is the chest, according to the English dictionary. Hmm, maybe I did it so I would remember where my abs are supposed to be? That's... really stupid.
'Ah!' is it A.B.C.D? The western alphabet order? That would work too.
I ended up thinking long enough that it was almost breakfast and ran to the kitchen to start preparing. 'I can't be late!'
I didn't forget that there was a weird mystery, but I had to do this, or else Dad won't have his tea and Fuji-nee wouldn't have her breakfast.
"Shirou..." His eyes latched to it for a long time. What was it he was seeing? "Never show this to anyone, do you understand?" He had a severe look.
"Okay... is it bad?"
"No Shirou... it will be fine, you just have to..." He looked away and lost his train of thought.
"...No, Shirou. It's my fault it's there... just forget about it the best you can." A gloomy look flickered in him as he looked away. "I'm tired, Shirou. Do you mind if I take a rest?"
"Of course, Dad." And so I did forget it the best I could.
Even as it ached and bled throughout the day, I never once brought it up. Dad told me not to talk about it, and he never brought it up, so it's probably harmless.
Then I thought it was sorta cool, 'My first scar! I'm just like Dad!' I was so excited. It was like I was closing in on becoming just like Dad.
Deep Slumber (Music) /bqWDDNFVn48
It was fun for a little while, but it really was healing soooo slowly. It didn't seem to heal to matter how I waited. It stayed there a festering... mark. It reminded me of one of the weird stories Mom told me once: The man who was marked by God for killing his own brother.
Surely it's nothing... It has to be nothing. ...It's probably nothing. Long-lasting pain is something I can handle, it numbs with time.
The days passed on and the heat of the summer started to fade. With it, I felt a bit better about the scar, and I never ever brought it up, which I am proud of. I can't say if the pain is gone or if I have been living with it long enough that I don't remember what it was like before.
September passed, and the days dragged on. Tohsaka still kept away from me, and Sakura still was a sad girl trying to look happy. Shinji was a weak boy trying to look strong to cover his pain by shoving it on others. And I continued to try and fail to make a body for Mom to come here. Every day I saw a new story, a new feeling, a new image. The longer I spent with all the kids at school, the more I couldn't stop the knowledge I learned about them.
It's all small things, but they build up.
The more I failed, the more I felt I needed her to be here to help me. And yet she started showing up less and less. I don't know if she's letting me go or trying to give me space to work harder. It's the uncertainty that bothers me the most.
My eyes sting. My skin remembers the burning. This scar aches. I have a hunger that I don't know how to sate.
...Sometimes I wonder why I live like this. There is this place I am trying to reach, but I cannot even see the beginning of the trail to it.
And so I pray, 'I wish to be a hero. I wish to be able to save people.' A silent promise to reach beyond the horizon.
.
Of course he not alone, he is never alone.
Simple and child-like words asked with pleading eyes. The boy who knew the world to be not so innocent asked it boldly. An earnest belief in true heroes holding his body together like a thread. All that see him can tell he is on the shining path, and yet, as he only looks beyond himself, he never sees all that is right beside him. To him, it was a promised eventuality: the only only thing that would satisfy him.
A beautiful wish, If only it could last forever... that would be the true miracle.
Even if you know how it ends, you can not laugh.
Author's Notes:
I didn't feel like this chapter worked together with the next well so I think splitting them apart is better. Doing long individual chapters is not really always good for pacing anyways. On the selfish side, it also gets fewer views that way.
The next chapter is about 60% done and that's where things will really start to change. Think of this as the last time there was ever really a chance of stopping.
This is all leading up to Shirou's great eleventh birthday, let's just say it's going to be a fun one. All his favorite people will be there, after all. I actually lost all my progress on this one, and I ended up rewriting how the Kiri and Rin meeting went. It was a bit sadder than the original one and I decided to take it in a different direction.
Reviews, Favorites and follows are very welcome. I like to hear from everyone.
I put next chapter previews in my profile page, so if you want to see something that will be there then you can see it rn.