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I don't own anything related to Fate/stay night; this is a work of parody.
Act One: The First Movement of a Crimson Melody
'Dear Luviagelita,
I figured that I could use this letter as an opportunity to do better with my English skill. I think you are a good person and I am sending you this letter to tell you that.
I still know so little about you and what people in the west do with magic. I can do all sorts of stuff, but I guess I am specialized in making things. I'm working on a difficult project by myself right now, and I wish someone like you could help, as you are very smart. I maybe have to come there one day to change things. I think of your power often and how confident you were!
Here in Japan it is very pretty in the fall, like you. I hope I can come one day to see that beauty in person. Said Finland was too.
I send this as your pen-pal, as I promised. You were very pleasant when I met you and it is good to make friends. I hope that you are still well. I think keeping in touch would be a great thing!
From Shirou.'
Hmm... that went well, I think. I'm a pretty good writer! No mistakes at all! I really should thank Mom the next time I see her since when I told her I needed help writing a letter to a girl from far away, she immediately forced me to tell her everything, then she made a big fuss and had me write a set of rules of sending a letter. She had a very weird look, and I felt a little suspicious... but Mom wouldn't steer me wrong, would she? Her rules really are a bit weird, though. Apparently, after a certain number of letters exchanged, I'm supposed to change Dear Luvia to Dearest Luvia... I don't get it. I won't challenge a genius like Mom, though. She knows best, after all.
It's hard enough learning a new language all on my own, but now Mom is telling me there are a bunch of weird rules too? That's what I thought until I finished it, and I think it really is good. Luvia should appreciate it and be happy. That is all I've ever wanted.
Oh wait, I forgot that error on line 4: 'Here in Japan is very pretty in the fall, like you. I hope I can come one day to see that beauty in person. Said Finland was too.' Darn, I forgot to put that part in the right spot... well, it's too late now. I'm sure she'll understand since I told her I'm still learning English. It's probably no big deal.
I sent the letter on October first, so it should be about two months or something like that until a response. It may not even reach the right place, or it may be ignored, but it was worth a try... It was something to do so that I wouldn't have to think.
It was a sad few months, but just as all good things must end, bad things do as well...
It all started the week before my 'birthday'. It was October again; one year ago feels like so long in some ways and not very in others.
October 20: my day of 'birth,' at least the day we celebrate it. That day in winter was the first day of my life, but there is nothing good about that.
So it is better to celebrate now.
There was just the matter of finding people to invite to the party. Taiga insisted that I find more than just her normal friends to come over. I liked Otoko-senpai and Reikan-Senpai, but I understood that it was time to show off the fact I have friends too.
I wanted to approach Tohsaka, but... what Dad said about keeping away from her still held... And she would always look away from me whenever I saw her.
Gone were the days that we would walk to school together and take the bus from Shinto. I never really noticed how much time we did spend with one another.
There was a... weird feeling in me when I thought about that, like a hole in my stomach and an aching in my arms.
Ever since she slapped me... it seems that our friendship is over. I don't know what I did wrong, but as she said... I am a bit of an idiot.
I am who I am. There is nothing I can do about that. I can't do anything about what is burned in.
So I can't invite her.
That left my other best friend... Sakura. She would be hard to convince, but I couldn't just look like a friendless wimp in front of Fuji-nee and Dad. That would make them sad.
If I couldn't get her, then that just left Shinji... and that thought pushed me more than it should.
It was during our recess meeting that I popped the question.
"Sakura, are you coming to the park with me today... It's my birthday tomorrow, and I wanted to talk to you alone."
"I-I..." Her eyes went large. "You mean...?" She tore at her left hand, a bad habit that seemed to only get worse the more we were around each other.
So I held her shoulder, "Don't worry, Sakura. Like I told you back when you met Tohsaka... and I had the eye issues, I'm not mad at you. So can you come?" I needed this to go well.
Sakura had changed who I was... or more accurately, I was a different person with her. I have adapted to counter the bad in her.
I had changed with time. With Sakura, I am... a bit more forceful and obvious in my aims. I have noticed she likes things to be direct, and so that is what I have become. A friend who is honest and reliable. She doesn't like to be alone, but she would never say it and would actually plead with you to care for yourself first. I see all this... even though Mom said not to use my eyes, I couldn't help but indulge in it so I could know how to help Sakura... I need to know.
"Senpai... I can come..." She went along with me. Sometimes she let people walk over her; I would just have to be her custodian until she could handle herself better.
And so after school. We walked the path we've both taken many times. Compared to me, however... she had trouble moving at my pace.
I had never noticed how hard it really was on her multiple points. How can I complain about my pain when she can't even do what I can? I hold her up without a word.
I will be there for her for anything, no matter what. If I could just make her smile a real smile... then so much would be worth it.
She tells me something strange... "Senpai.. your Mom, is she-"
"You... can see her?" Really!? My voice rose in hope and excitement.
"I-I... yes." Sakura looked confused. 'Of course, I can see her.' She probably thought.
...! I lost control to an excitement in me.
"Cmon, let's go..." I pull her along and don't allow resistance. disregard all my previous finer points, I push her fast to the park.
And she's there! Looking at the scene of me basically carrying Sakura as if she were waiting for such a scene.
So close now, but Sakura is cowering in Mom's presence. I don't get it...
"Cmon, sit. She's not bad... This is Irisviel Von Einzbern, she's my Mom." Sakura does not approach. I was so thrilled! Mom is real!
Her eyes wouldn't go away from the waiting eyes of my mother. Sakura's hand was shaking. "..." The usual reticent Sakura couldn't look away. I wish I could look so carelessly...
Then Mom declared herself in a loud voice as if she were announcing the start of a party.
"So the girl finally shows herself! Or maybe more like she is being shown, hmm... I see you now. Such a lovely facade you have." Mom addressed. It was... not the loving feeling I had become accustomed to. There was a time that I wasn't her son, and I had felt certain... emotions at her. Hatred. Misery.
I didn't dare look too closely at her anymore. The excitement died down a bit and I realized that I hadn't really thought about how other people would see Mom, and her strange tendencies...
"Sakura...? is something the matter?" She was holding her stomach.
she was starting to pale and look to be in pain. She fell right over, and I barely caught her, "Aggggh!" How a scream of pain can be so...expressionless, I do not know. It was not an unfamiliar pain to her, I realized.
"M-mom! what is this?" As I looked to Mom, she seemed to be reveling in the suffering.
"I am helping her, Son." Mom said simply and seriously. You would think she was the conductor of the song that was Sakura's hushed hurt.
"What!? Mom, Stop it!" I shook Mom to make her stop putting Sakura through pain. But I moved back to look after Sakura after I realized I was just being mad and not helping.
Mom didn't seem to care about it. "You would take that from her? Her pain?"
"Of course! I'd take anything to help her!" I would do anything to make her not sad anymore. You're not allowed to be sad, don't you know?
"Are you serious, Shirou? Do you understand what you are agreeing to? To look after someone like that is a long thing. You will never be able to say you didn't make that promise!" This was the passion she held, but no longer was she going to hold back.
Then nor shall I! This is my chance! "...If... I can do something that would make Sakura happy, then I'll do it!" Anything to be a hero! To save Sakura will take a lot of work, but just give me something I can do, and I'll climb over it.
Weirdly, it stopped as soon as I turned towards her. Sakura calmed down, and Mom frowned.
"Mom? You..." A coldness entered my heart and stabbing pain in my stomach. It felt like things were moving around inside of me, wiggling about... is this.. the pain she feels? It's so...
I see why her eyes are like a dead fish's now, yet I will not allow this to go on a minute longer. It was manageable.
"I was helping her, giving her a temporary reprieve from having to suffer in silence. If you want to share with your little friend, then go right ahead, Hahahaha!" A mocking laugh.
I crouched down to Sakura and put my hands on her head, trying to help her with any sickness or anything like that. "But... she was in pain..." I say in a small voice.
"Son, to live is to be in pain. Don't you want your little friend to live? To live and to be alive are two different things. ...If every pain is shared to lessen the burden, it will just make a worse world in the end. Suffering begets suffering. Let this girl go, like trash on the curb... some things are better left discarded." She said such horrible things with a smile.
'...' I was shocked by what I heard... I couldn't speak up. I felt a horrible anger tickle down my spine.
"That's stupid! You... You can't hurt people, Mom! Not even you! Sakura is good!" I won't stand for it! You can't make people sad!
"Shirou, this girl has nothing of value to her at all. She's like a hollow tree. At the first sign of wind, she will topple over... and you are saying you'll stand by that and hold her up even then?" All I cared about was saving Sakura from the pain. So I'll take that on myself since I don't really matter.
'Now... you're making me mad, Mom.' I won't hold back against anyone who would say something like that. "I don't care about anything like that! She's my best friend... just make her feel better...!" If I can't save my best friend, then what sort of hero am I? I couldn't do anything for a girl like Marie, but she was just a stranger. Sakura is not a stranger.
Sakura had her head down, "Senpai..." She squeaked out, recovering from the discomfort she was feeling. I held her weak hand.
"...You don't care, Shirou, that this girl is hollow to the core?" Mom had a simper that kept rising, it was eerie. Indeed, a smile should stop before it starts to look like something: wrong. Even my tolerance of her has limits.
'Who cares about that!' "You just can't bully her, no matter what!" That is all that matters.
After a small silence, like she was considering something, Mom spoke up.
"Hmm... you are serious then. If that is what you wish, I won't dare stand in front of my beloved son if he is serious about a girl." I couldn't tell you if she was proud or disappointed. "Though it seems like every time I look away, you have a new one... " She muttered.
Iriviel's yellowish eyes turned back towards Sakura, "Girl, perhaps you can be of use to me yet. How does this sound? You help me do a teensy little ritual, and in return, I can make all your dreams come true. How about it?" Mom's voice sounded almost... sweet, as if she were laughing while talking. Her ability to go from topic to topic without ever changing much is commendable.
"..." Sakura's face by now was something I knew well; she wanted to escape. But for some reason, Sakura never acted on that, as if she believed that the concept of escape was impossible. If she would just reach out, then I would stand with her through thick and thin.
Knowing Sakura, she isn't able to talk when pressured so much. I can help her, though. "Sakura, I know about you being a magus... I mean, it's not like we were hiding it anymore? I don't care about that, I just really want to help you." I think it has been obvious for a long time now, but I guess it really was never said.
"I..." Sakura took a deep breath."You will... help me? Really?" When she saw the undeniable truth in my eyes, she muttered softly to herself. "Idiot... Why couldn't you have just given up?" A final sigh as if to signify her defeat. Indeed, for she saw having hope as giving up.
"What is it, then, Girl? Will you stand with us, or will you watch idly by as Shirou tries his best to save you even as you do nothing to save yourself?" I would save her, even if she didn't want to be saved!
A long silence reigned; the only voice left to be heard was given her time to choose. It was hard, I could see... It tore at her very insides and went against everything that had been trained into her. To stand up is to feel pain... and for her, to feel pain without the numbing of dissociation is... to face a certain and painful death.
I could not tolerate such feeling in her! I filled with a certain resolve that would wipe away all the failure of the past in one fatal stroke. Save Sakura!
"I will do it..." Sakura relented, but there was no enthusiasm. She held an expectation of total failure, so this was her giving in to that end. But there was... a small flicker of her own as she looked at me, something that was 1 when everything else was 0.
"Really...? You'll help us? You're the best, Sakura!" Mom clapped enthusiastically into the empty park. Mom spoke her name as if to acknowledge her existence.
"You... really will help me?" She shivered like she was accepting a death sentence. Was Mom really that scary? I remember being fascinated, scared, and even angry when I first met Mom, but now... I had long adjusted to her. Or was there something Sakura feared almost more?
"I am a wish granter. It is my purpose to give you what it is you want. I do it in my own way, of course... no takebacks!" Mom yelled like a kid. I had never seen that side to her.
"..." Sakura looked to the ground. She was my mom, and I loved her despite all her eccentricities. But I couldn't let her push my friend around, no matter what.
"Girl, I know what you are. You have nothing to hide from me." Even the blank state of Sakura couldn't hold up to Mom's glare. Sakura started to be increasingly timid. Again, she half hid behind me.
"Listen, girl. You must be suspicious of me. Cynical to any sort of deal or offer of good intentions. I completely understand; that's why I will give a partial gift in return, a taste of you will."
"... It's alright... no more..." Sakura tried to say no, but denying Mom never seemed to work.
"I insist, girl. I don't ask for your trust, nor do I want it... If I sensed that you did trust me, I would end you then and there. As a mercy, of course." As a beckoning, Mom seemed to wave towards Sakura, calling her closer.
Holding my hand tighter, Sakura seemed really scared by this. "Don't worry, Sakura. I will figure this out... Mom is just trying her own way." I tried to defend Mom's occasional crudeness. I was still under her thumb... even if I am strong, I still look up to her and Dad as my true parents...
"Now come close. No need to be so nervous. I exist for your benefit, Sakura." Mom's smile never stopped.
'That's just how she is...' I internally cringed a little as I worried that Sakura would hate her.
"Sakura..." I looked at Sakura to try and see if she was angry, but what I saw was not that... She was looking intensely at Mom and had eyes... of Admiration and fear. Sakura looked at what Mom was and felt... happy? That made me happy too. Emotions can be deceiving sometimes.
With a rare sense of bravery, Sakura spoke up."You said before... you would grant me a wish... but I haven't seen anything." Sakura could speak up for herself... if only so that she would lose all hope again.
"Indeed... but think of that of me seeing how dedicated you are? If you were to stop being what you are, then I wouldn't grant your wish, so... tonight, I will reward you with the first of my gifts."
"Now hurry along, don't you want to wake up tomorrow as if it's Christmas morning? Your present will be waiting for you when you wake up." My head hurt and I felt myself losing myself to the distant horizon.
This was my payment. This was my promise. The greatest of promises is the one you keep immediately.
Sakura and I walked... and...we... made... it back... home. Huh? I'm not sure about that...
We went our separate ways, and I...I...I... What did I do that night? Ahh, yes, It was a good night's sleep.
Wandering Shadow /CSyaENS3_2s
"Ugh, back... it is..." He heads home, still slightly drunk. It doesn't matter if there's no taxi or if the last train is out.
He doesn't particularly care if it's the house or some ditch on the side of the road. The ditch could be said to have a little more comfort.
The man is ugly and has no hope for himself, like a squirming worm just trying to survive for the sake of living. He lurches on through the night streets, thinking himself to be safe.
The rotary is quiet even though it's still before midnight, and the trees always tend to sway against him. So he never looks up. The swaying of the trees and the cry of the bugs have always put him on edge, but the alcohol was his trusted remedy.
Unfortunately, the man had long lost his sanity. What he was now was a walking piece of trash. Nothing of value at all. It's the usual thing for him then, acting as the town's drunkard if at least to hide away from it all. He gave up everything because of his extreme fear.
He wobbles down the streets, barely awake. He would usually rely on the sea breeze to figure which way is what.
But he can't seem to figure it out. 'Where am I going?' he wonders.
'...' So... when did it stop being a normal night?
The desolate town. The pitch-black back alleys. The chill emanating from the dark shadows.
Formless unease assails him.
"Who's there!?" He cries out, a clumsy attempt at some sort of intimidation at the shadows.
He turns around. The only thing following him is his cold and silent silhouette. In a world of shadow, nothing ever seems to stand out.
Yet he starts to sprint. It just doesn't sit well with him, a long set in fear of the dark had always plagued him, but drink had been the solution to that... until now.
He runs maniacally. Away, away!
The shadows follow him step by step, never wavering. 'Leave me alone!' It is meaningless to run, you can never escape your own shadow, after all.
'Why me!?' What did I do!?' Nothing good.
He throws onions and garlic, even sprays bug spray all around him in some insane performance as if in the throes of death. It would be amusing if it weren't so pathetic.
Eventually, he stops. 'Huh?' He finally realized where he was, a desolate park. 'Why did I come here? that's strange... this is not the right way.' Why run from your own shadow in the first place? But such thoughts really didn't matter.
There lay a bench, but it didn't feel like a normal bench. Looking at it gave off the same feeling as before. 'I need to go! I need to go!' But he had already been done for since he had run right to what he should have been running from...
"I'm sorry, I don't know anything...! I haven't done anything!" He sobbed out into the dark. The trees cry with him; they ache. But they ache with the vicious desire to see him dead.
Goldenslaughter (Music) /vYV61Pf-D3M
The dark decided to give him its answer.
"Haaaah!" An emotional roar not of his own but one that came from behind. And then...
Crunch
A peculiar sound and a sharp, if short, pain. It happened all too quickly, and he dropped his hand while pushing himself forward in fear.
It was the fear that pushed him forward, 'Run, I need to run!' He would outrun the shadow...? But everywhere he looked, there was the dark crawling closer. It was the one he couldn't see that truly terrified him. '...! Ahhhh! Just need to get away!' But how can you outrun a shadow in the dark of the night? 'Let me live!'
Then he noticed that he had thought something weird, '...Dropped my... hand...?' His body felt very cold, and his eyes grew out. He looked down.
Where his left hand had been, now was a cleanly cut bloody stump. His right prosthetic hand had been cut clean off, too; it was the second time he had lost that hand.
He lurches forwards as he loses his balance from shock. He sees it in the corner of his eyes: A monster looks down on him, two red orbs hang in the air, the only shining color in that murky world he has fallen into.
'Agh! Ahhhhh!' Nobody hears his scream. It was by then that he must have realized... he was already dead. He tries to scream more, but no air makes it. It was meaningless, for his lungs had already been carried out of his body. The pain was excruciating... so horrible that the body couldn't keep up and simply lost the knowledge of what pain is.
It was over fast, so it was merciful.
Then the banquet began.
Crack
The thread of his life is cut, a jagged cut that snaps his bones.
The man who suffered since he was born and had done nothing but writhes to escape it would throw anything into oblivion if it meant a second of safety. His ugly life came to a mild end compared to the misery he had brought to others.
Messily cut, his legs, intestines, and lungs were cut out of his body and ravenously devoured.
His sins were turned into sustenance and used as fuel—magical energy of the rawest variety.
A beautiful murder: akin to an execution. The desolate park celebrated as red filled it once more, but rather than the flames of hell, this was the color of judgment. Sticky blood dripped from the trees like sap and settled into the ground. But even that seemed to evaporate away into the shadow's aura of hunger.
The only thing he ever accomplished was to keep himself alive. Now even that had been taken away.
His body disappears into the darkness of the rainy night, into the realm that humans would rather forget. A soft slurping and chewing was the only sound that night. Not even the bugs dared to interrupt.
The shadow killed out of obligation but also out of pure hatred and instinctual bloodlust.
The taste of the wicked was horrid yet needed; cathartic, yet sickening. To push on despite that was a test of true resolve.
All that remained was that single shade left in a forest of doubt. A single voice talking to itself could be heard in the night; nobody heard its struggle.
"Did- did I do it right?"
"...Yes, you were perfect."
"...Am I a hero now?"
"Hmm, what do you think?"
"I feel like I'm a bad person."
"To be surrounded by bad doesn't make you that too."
"But..."
"You removed an evil. You kept a promise. You wished your friend to be happy. Is that good or evil?"
"That is... good?"
"I can not tell you. I ask you then, why did you do it?"
"I... was just sick of only seeing sadness... I couldn't take it anymore. I was weak."
"There's no need to explain it... I understand completely. No matter what you do, I will always love you."
"...Thanks."
"It is you who should be thanked, for it seems that soon a great reunion will commence with you to thank for it!"
"..."
Yet there was a doubt that pained it more than anything, what is worth doing for a goal?
A single light that fiercely illuminates the night, a belief that will surely burn throughout time. But it was surrounded by a thick mud that guided it deeper into its sea of hate.
The night subsided, yet no trace of what was done could be seen, for all had been consumed. The lingering sweet taste in the air is the only suggestion of the forgotten existence that had ceased there.
People never wish to know what happens as they sleep. Their ignorance of those things who slither in the dark is a comfort that keeps them alive, so they would never recognize it.
Matou Byakuya was never seen again. The only trace of him: a shattered and bloody prosthetic hand left in front of his former residence, as if in some sort of twisted apology... or warning. I can not say, as I can do nothing but watch.
Deep Slumber (Music) /bqWDDNFVn48
I am an old man, that is undeniable... so why is it that I can't fall asleep like one? The one good thing of being weak, and I don't even get that... Insomnia is something I have always been cursed with.
But tonight... I just have a very bad feeling. It's like that feeling on the battlefield, the one you have when you just first arrive somewhere and are taking in the smell of destruction.
No- that's not quite right, for Fuyuki is peaceful. Hmm, there is one other thing that elicits this feeling: the feeling of being in place before the storm of destruction takes it as its victim. There is always something like that in the air in places like that... but here? It's probably just the sewer or something...
'Let's see how long you can keep saying that, Hihihihihihi!' The voices had recently become more singular and... personal. I doubled my efforts to ignore it.
I dream of something horrible, and yet... comforting? It feels entirely all too real.
I am standing on the shoreline of my youth: the soft waves, and the rugged sands are the same as they were in my best years. A dark cloud is approaching in the distance, and it is cold and wet.
It is not my home, for that place went up in smoke, but it is a perfect replica. I am disappointed that even in my dreams, the place that was can not truly return to me.
Have I been here before? The time between then and now has been covered in such death: even the memory is tainted. It is a fever dream with a faint melody in the distance.
A gentle whisper carries through the land, and I can hardly make it out.
'Dreams have always been important to you, haven't they? I used to listen softly to your breaths as you slept beside me. ...You were always so tense while awake, but when you dreamed you were at peace.
I wish to bring a dream into reality.
Is it not the same for you? Do you want to see a miracle? I see... you still fear what it means to grasp something, for that would mean to finally give up on the empty dreams you are waiting for. I am sorry then, for I will not allow it! I shall give you your choice, but know that there is only one right answer!'I will not let you escape from this.'
Slowly the voice comes closer and closer but I can not move.
'...I apologize, for this is all I know how to love with... If, by choosing you, I could find our very own happiness, then no matter how cold a flame I'm burnt with, I won't be far from a smile. Don't ask me to stop because my love shall never end. I can only sing this crimson melody to you in hopes you will receive it with open arms.'
An embrace takes me from behind, 'I'm here for you, and I won't be leaving. Ever.' The soft wind promises into my ear. It felt so real as if there really was someone holding me.
The world crumbles. A world where Emiya Kiritsugu can be happy... surely is no longer possible. It is a horrible punishment to promise something unattainable.
The world of living returns like a splash of hot water. "Ahhhh!" The dream messed with more than I realized, and I am awake with a start.
Covered in sweat... My head is pulsing, and I feel like there is a big weight on top of me.
It is heavy and quite sticky; a... poor yet familiar smell fills me. It is not right.
My eyes flicker, and a single color provokes my vision. "Hmm? What the..." It was not sweat that was covering me.
"...Huh!?" My voice caught in my throat. 'What...? T-this... cannot be real! I'm still dreaming!' A very bad feeling filled me, that feeling of absolute dread. It made me want to run off somewhere and shoot people... Oh, but it felt too late for even that.
Because...! Because this was too much to accept! I will not accept this!
'It's your fault for being in self-denial all the time.' A murmur chided.
Because... my eyes were filled with crimson blood, and that weight on top of me was... Shirou. The breaths were calm, and there were no cuts at all. It had all dried in a mess. In the corner of the room stood a short purple girl looking on with a distant yet deeply sad look that reflected my own.
You can run all your life trying to get somewhere, but beware, for if you stop, everything you ran away from will surely catch up and devour you.
Authors Notes:
Even though it's like the least important part of this chapter, I just think it's really funny that Shirou sends a really effusive letter to Luvia, thinking that's really okay. You know how when people start writing English, they go crazy with synonyms thinking it makes the writing sound smarter? It's basically that plus Iri's sinister love advice plus Shirou's unabashed complimenting, and you will have Shirou unknowingly sending pseudo-love letters to Luvia.
Even though I like to make the story speak for itself, I do think that explaining Shirou's eyes a little is worth doing. They are basically Mystic eyes of Claryvoiyance (Human), rank still undetermined since he's young and holds no control of it.
That functionally means Shirou can read other humans' emotions, thoughts, symbols, and even histories with 100% accuracy. It is also all of the battle vision that normal Shirou gained in canon. The only thing Shirou cannot see is one's destiny, the future, and emotions and feelings he himself does not understand.
That is just by looking closely at them. But it's mostly like knowing stray and pertinent things that are clearly visible in the present, like seeing that Marie is sad because her father is ignoring her. The eyes are still pretty weak at this point in the story, and his mind hasn't developed to comprehend most of what he sees. Since mystic eyes grow in strength over time, the more they are used, the more it starts to control Shirou, but we'll say that it isn't dangerous for now. As Shirou has no mystic eye killer, It's like having untreated cancer, and the more he comes to rely on them, and the more they will grow in their corruption.
He can look at a servant, but as we already saw, it will hurt him pretty badly, to the point of temporary blindness or worse.
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