A/N: EDIT: Flames again, eh...Also added some more content at that, but no one noticed...
Well. Seems last chapter wasn't all that popular T_T
Guess that's what I get for writing something from Jaune's perspective...
This is shorter than I'd like to be; had to work early. I...think I'm going mad. So...tired...
As ever, we're going by the Embers Rule. This will be deleted if folks don't like it. That's right, gone for keeps. Every bit of feedback counts. So by all means, speak up! Makes yourselves heard! Your words matter, after all. I wouldn't be here without you. That's no joke.
Now then, onto your questions. I'll keep it short this time around:
Q: Can we get to the Vault already?! I wanna see Jinn...and I have a feeling what Naruto's question will be.
Its SPOILER and SPOILER about SPOILER isn't it?
A: You are correct, good sir! It is indeed SPOILER. Glad someone caught that.
Clearly, I've redacted the important bits here.
Q: Where hell is Blake?
A: Blake hasn't reunited with her team yet; canonically she's still in Menagerie trying to thwart Adam.
No worries. We'll see her soon, though I won't say when.
Q: Wait, wait, wait! If Little!Raven thinks YANG is her mother...what about Little!Cinder?
A: *grins* You'll soon see. I also feel I should state this again, Naruto didn't just turn those two into children, he effectively wiped their minds. Sure, they still have the powers of Spring and Fall respectively, but they haven't a clue how to use them.
Q: Why am I getting Darth Sidious vibes from Naruto? Making Jaune his apprentice and all...
A: Are you? He's no Sith Lord. Then again, he's not above picking up an apprentice or two and teaching them ways of the drink...
Q: So...can Naruto just spam Edo Tensei/Rinne Tensei?
A: He cannot. He has a rule when it comes to reviving people. One per customer. Even a drunk has rules; though I suppose you could call it more of an agreement with Kaguya; one of the few they've made while sober.
In short? Don't break the world.
Lets face it, if he spammed Resurrection, the world would never leave him be.
Q: Salem's right f**ked isn't she?
A: Right in the down under.
Alright, I've kept you long enough.
I could answer some more questions, but I'd rather the story speak for me.
As ever, I own no references, themes or memes. 'Tis only tributes!
Really, that's rather obvious by now.
"Sometimes a man needs ta think about his...bah, what's the word?"
"Legacy?
"Aha! That one.
"You're still drunk, aren't you."
"Yesh."
~?
So Uncivilized
"Are you my mother?"
Ruby felt her brain fizzle in her head. "Excuse me?!"
Her shout echoed off the cavernous ceiling of Haven's vault, drawing all eyes to her.
"My mother." Little Cinder Fall repeated, gazing up at her with guileless golden eyes. "You look like her."
Any response Ruby might have given died in a keening whine, rendering her words a stream of nonsensical gibberish. Everyone else took the news about the same. Weiss made a grinding noise with her teeth. Yang -currently occupied with an armful of a tiny Raven!- absolutely squawked. Uncle Qrow tipped back with a hoarse guffaw that sounded just a bit too smug for her liking. The remainder of Team JNPR -minus the P!- glared bloody red daggers at her, while a mildly irritated Oscar/Ozpin looked on.
Vernal -one of the sole survivors from the Branwen tribe -stared studiously at the floor under Naruto's gaze.
Yang whistled. "Hot damn, he's got her whipped...
And Naruto? The one responsible for this mess?
"Don't look at me." the whiskered warrior saw her pleading stare and took a long swig of his flask. "I ain't raising her. She's all yours."
In hindsight, she had know something was coming; if only because Cinder hadn't stopped staring at her since they'd left the ruins of the Branwen Tribe behind. Not since they'd returned to Haven, not since...well, actually, she'd been staring at her for awhile, now! She'd thought herself prepared for anything her former nemesis might say. But this?! How did you prepare for something like this?! Answer! You didn't! Where in the world had it even come from?!
Little Cinder winced, mistaking her silence for anger. "I'm sorry...I'll be quiet...
Ruby winced. Oomph. Right in the feels-NO! Don't falter! She may be small now, but this was still Cinder Fall. This woman -child!- had ruined their lives. People were dead because of her. Fresh start or no, that shouldn't erase what she'd done. What if this was a trick of some sort? A ploy to make them lower their guard so they could strike? Sure, they left Emerald, Mercury and Watts above the lift, under stern guard of several shadow clones so it was unlikely, but still!
...its just, you look like her."
"How is that the basis for being a good parent?!" Anger knotted in her heart. "And besides, you killed Pyrrha!"
Cinder cowered anew beneath blazing silver eyes, clutching her arm. "I don't know who that is!"
"Please," she whispered. "Your eyes. You're hurting me...!"
Ruby's temper sputtered out, and her eyes with it. She believed her; the fear in her gaze was frightfully real.
Blast it all, where was Blake when you needed her?! At least she shared some resemblance with Cinder. Really, it would've served her right for running off. Ruby could've thrown the girl at her and called her a day. But no, Blake wasn't here, and there was no one to save her from this madness. Still, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to pretend, if only for a little while...
"No, no, no!" She flailed her arms and thrashed backwards, nearly plummeting into the abyss. "I'm not your mother!"
Naruto called across the cavern. "Would you rather Jaune watch her?"
Arc's head snapped toward them.
Ruby flinched, recalling how he'd slaughtered those bandits. They still hadn't talked about that. In truth, she was afraid to.
"No. I've got her."
She missed Beacon.
She missed her team being whole.
She missed when things actually made sense.
Cinder hid behind her skirt, seeking shelter. "I'm scared."
"Me too." Ruby absently patted the tiny girl's head. "Me, too...
(.0.0.0.)
Bringing the dead back to life was a solemn thing.
To meddle with the sacred forces of light and dark -though lone gone!- was akin to spitting in the eye of the gods themselves. The balance must be maintained, lest the world ruin itself. One did not simply shatter the impasse between life and death with impunity after all. There were consequences for such an actions, ramifications that must be considered.
Well, unless you were drunk. Which Naruto currently was. Absolutely hammered. Completely smashed.
"Why is the rum gone again, damnit?!" he reached down to his belt, pulled a fresh flask forth, and uncorked it with a sigh.
With a sharp twist of his wrist, the stopper flew over his shoulder. He tilted the flask back. Chilled liquid coursed down his throat to warm his belly. Say what you would about Vale and their wine, but they made excellent whiskey. He savored it even as it made his vision swim. Nor was he the only one to appreciate it. After all, he was drinking for two.
"Wheee!" Kaguya cooed in his head as she sloshed about. "Sweet ambrosia!"
Drunken Goddess reacquired. Now back to work.
"There we go." He swayed a little as he finished tracing the summoning circle beneath him. "That looks about right...I think."
Truth be told, he was no expert when it came to re-animation, much less resurrection. Kaguya was the one who did the much of the heavy lifting on that front. But if memory served, he'd traced the circle accordingly. He'd done well. Really, there was only a ten percent chance of things going terribly, horribly wrong.
Jaune scowled at him, still not quite willing to let bygones be bygones. "You think?! This isn't a game!"
"Oi!" he swatted him on the back of the head. "You want your girlfriend back or not?!"
His fellow blond subsided with a scowl, massaging the welt on his skull. "...yes?"
"Then drink up." Naruto thrust a flask into the younger man's hands. "It'll put some hair on your chest."
Jaune eyed the bottle like it was poison. To him, it probably was. Alcohol wasn't for the faint of heart, and this was a fairly potent brew to begin with. Indecision warred with pride and the latter won out.
Finally, he did as he was bade...and immediately regretted it. "Ack! Good lords, that burns...!"
"You're supposed to sip it." Naruto slapped him on the back. "Still, not bad!"
His fellow blond coughed. "I hate you!"
"Good!" Naruto grinned. "Hold onto that hate. You'll be needing it for the next leg of training. In the meantime, be a good apprentice and bring forth the victim."
The stray bandit they had taken captive -not Vernal, he had other plans for her!- must've heard those words; because the poor fool tried to make a run for it.
He didn't get far.
An awful crack filled the cavern, punctuated by a girlish scream that didn't come from a girl's throat. Raven and Cinder winced as they hid behind their chosen mothers. Yang and Ruby wisely looked away. Nora did no such thing; she was all too happy to drag their captive back, grinning from ear to ear.
Ren palmed his face. "Really, Nora? Did you have to kneecap him? In both knees?
"What?" the ginger bomber grinned. "I said I'd break his legs if he tried to run. He didn't listen."
Naruto patted her head for good measure. "Good girl. Put him in the circle."
"Hmm~!" She grinned up at him and did as he asked.
Oscar -no, that was Ozpin in control judging by the eyes- looked mildly put out by it all.
"Must you be so blase about this?" he planted his cane upon the floor and leaned against it. "What you're doing is taboo."
Ah, good 'ol Ozma. Proverbial stick in the mud. Sober fool who didn't enjoy the beauty of booze~!
Kaguya made a noise of discontent in his head. "Can I kill him? He's annoying. Like a fly."
"You can...but he'd probably just come back. That curse is a stubborn thing."
"Boo...
"Yup." Blue eyes rolled. "We must. Go away, magic man. Shoo." he made a less than subtle gesture at the ageless wizard. "Don't wanna talk to you"
A casual kick knocked the bandit out at his feet, cutting his shrill shrieks short.
From there it was mostly tedium.
Jaune brought forth the red sash Pyrrha Nikos once wore; which was promptly snatched up, inscribed with seals, then placed in another circle opposite the stunned bandit. Any lingering genetic material on the cloth was minor at best; skin flakes, a bit of hair, perhaps a little blood, but it would have to do. It was all they had. He'd worked with less before.
His grin was a terrifying thing to behold. "Alright then. Lets get cooking. Well, not cooking per se, but still...
Of course someone -Weiss!- had to protest. "How do we now this'll work?"
"It works." Qrow's voice was a low rasp. "I've seen it before."
Ruby flashed him a curious look at that.
Qrow titled his own flask back. "I'll tell you later, runt."
"Alright." Naruto turned his attention inward. "I'll need your help for this next bit. Never been very good at resurrection myself."
"No!" Kaguya sulked and crossed her arms. "Sleepy! Don't wanna~!"
Ah, but after an eternity together, he knew her tells. "I'll take you to Menagerie. Remember the vodka there?"
Was it possible for a goddess to drool in his head? Kaguya was making a good show of it.
"Ghira always did have the best drinks...
"Now to call her back."
Contrary to popular belief, it was rather easy. Pyrrha's spirt had never been far from her team. Even now he could sense what remained of her nearby; a regretful wraith not quite willing to pass onto the afterlife. It was merely a matter of finding and binding...aha! There.
He grinned and reeled her in. "C'mere, you...
His hand closed around a tiny blue sphere in his mind's eye, hooked it, and drew it in. No one noticed it; how could they? They weren't attuned to the spiritual world as he was. Souls could not speak, but they were still the core of a person. They contained emotions. Feelings. A faint sensation permeated his mind as he held her spirit aloft.
"Where...?"
"Sh." he hushed her. "It'll all be over soon."
Then he yanked.
At his feet, the stubborn bandit jolted back to wakefulness as the Edo Tensei took hold; poor timing on his part. He woke just in time to be consumed by dirt. Vernal saw it and retched, looking on helplessly as his very being was consumed by an avalanche of ash; body and soul alike subsumed in an instant. The fool managed one last, awful scream before he was devoured. Naruto winced only a little; really, that was a horrible way to go, but beggars couldn't be choosers.
And with the bandit's death, new life was called back from the beyond.
With his chakr and Kaguya's guidance, a new body took shape from the ash, forming a unfamiliar likeness not quite known unto him, but intimately unto others. Lifeless eyes stared straight ahead, seeing nothing. Naruto heard Jaune gasp a ways behind him. Further back, Ruby began to sniffle softly.
"Huh." Ren murmured. "So that's how it works."
Naruto felt the soul sing in his grasp.
Three rapid steps carried him forward, and with a fourth, he reared back and slammed the soul inside. Cracks scrawled across her face, leaving her dead eyes to flutter in a slow blink. In this state her body was still not quite complete; she was indestructible like this, certainly, but she lacked her key senses. She couldn't feel pain, knew not the sensation of touch. Thankfully he didn't intend to keep her this way for long.
...one thing I don't get," Qrow rasped. "Why revive her down here in the vault?"
"Eh, two birds with one stone." Naruto shrugged. "Saves some time."
Speaking of saving! 'Blast it, using this jutsu always makes me sober...best get it over with.
Kaguya whimpered. "My precious booze...
'We'll find more. Don't worry.'
Blue eyes pulsed into rippling violet as he pushed his will upon the ashen zombie sprawled before him.
"Rinne Tensei!"
By his will ash became flesh and blood. Her pale hair regained its luster, becoming a vibrant scarlet once more. A short, startled gasp fled from her lips; one mirrored by many watching. Naruto counted up to ten, watching for any imperfections as her sin regained its color, her once blank eyes now a sparkling green.
"Where...?" she frowned, coughed a little, and looked around. "Where am I?"
There.
Naruto gave her a nudge.
"Rise and shine, princess. Your family's waiting for you."
Pyrrha didn't have time to answer. Jaune crashed into her like a falling star
(.0.0.0.)
Pyrrha opened her eyes.
Wait. She had eyes?! A body again!?
Everything was stiff and awkward; she could move, but only slowly. Muscles still for months were slow to respond, yet respond they did.
...one thing I don't get," she heard a faint voice as she blinked. "Why revive her down here in the vault?"
"Eh, two birds with one stone. Saves some time."
And then there was pain.
Heat blazed through her body, so fiery, so intense, that she couldn't help but gasp at it all. Fire. It reminded her of her death. An arrow through her chest. The awful sensation of crumbling away, burning down to naught but ashes in the wind...no. She shook the awful memory away and hugged her arms to herself. Don't think about that. Never think about htat.
"Where...?" she frowned, coughed a little, and looked around. "Where am I?"
"Rise and shine, princess. Your family's waiting for you."
That was the catalyst.
She scarcely had time to behold her saviors face before he stepped aside; then they were upon her. Jaune crashed into her, followed by Ren, followed by Nora...well, most of everyone really. Everyone was talking at once; so much so that Pyrrha couldn't make heads or tails of it all. She didn't have to. Didn't care.
Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as she managed a watery smile. "I'm back...
"Yeah, yeah, much happiness, many tears." Naruto waltzed past them and plucked Raven up -dragging the little girl upright as one mighty a might a naughty kitten- already making for the vault door. "Now I have a genie to chat up...and possibly get hammered."
Oscar blinked. "Can a genie get drunk?"
"One way to find out~!" Naruto thrust Raven at the door. "Open 'er up, squirt."
Reluctantly, the diminished maiden slapped an open palm against the door. It complied at once, fans folding inward upon themselves to reveal an arid landscape beyond.
Naruto dropped her like a hot potato and marched forward to claim his prize. Pyrrha saw it all from where she lay. A bandaged hand pried the Relic from its pedestal. There was no resistance. He walked in with a merry little whistle, walked back out, swinging his prize too and fro as one might a pail of water.
"RISE AND SHINE, JINN!" he held up the Relic. "There's work to be done!"
The lamp didn't stir. Naruto gave it a smack.
Smoke resolved into the shape of a strikingly blue -and naked!- woman. She scowled at him.
"What a rude man you are. I don't believe we've met."
"No," his grin was nothing short of smug. "But you're gonna love me. Anyway, I have a question for you~!"
Her brow furrowed. "Two remain. Ask what you will."
Naruto grinned.
The world held its breath.
"How do I create unlimited booze?"
Everyone smacked their foreheads as one...even Jinn.
"Hmm?" Naruto looked back with a rueful grin. "What else did you think I'd ask...? No, wait! Before you answer that!" He snapped his fingers. "I've got another one!"
Jin quirked a bemused brow. "Unconventional, but I'll allow it this once."
Ozpin bridled. "Fool of a boy! Don't you dare waste the second-!"
"Lalala! Can't hear you!" Naruto's gregarious grin grew to shit-eating proportions. "Tell me, who's the best drinking buddy in Remnant!"
There was a pregnant pause.
Jinn told gave her answer.
It wasn't Qrow.
(.0.0.0.)
Willow Schnee sneezed.
Somewhere, somewhen, somehow, she swore someone was talking about her.
"Blast it, again?" she scowled and pressed another bottle to her lips. "Can't a woman drink in peace...?
A/N: Ayup~! Felt natural to end the chapter there.
Yes, there was a reason we didn't hear from Mercury, Emerald or Watts in this chapter.
Because they're a crucial part in the next one.
Once more, Embers Rule persists. If folks don't like it, poof! Gone. Deleted. No joke.
Pairing is going to be an...unorthodox one. I'm aiming for a surprise here. Care to guess it? I intend to make it something...amusing.
So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...
...Review...Would You Kindly?
And enjoy these previews!
Lets get crazy~!
SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!
READ IF YOU DARE!
(Previews!)
Times were changing.
Really, Vernal knew a sinking ship when she saw one.
The Tribe was screwed. What did she owe them? Not a thing!
So like any enterprising individual, she'd gone and jumped from said ship.
She hadn't expected to land in someone's lap, much less their bed, but this wasn't so bad.
"Harder~!"
...oi. This is a massage. Don't be lewd."
"Yang...?"
"Yeah?"
Why are you making Raven try on all those girly outfits?
"Eh, revenge. Why not?"
Jinn tilted her head. "My, my...
He swatted her hide. "Stop staring. This ain't a show."
Her lips ghosted across the back of his neck. "It could be..."
"Enough of your prattle!" Adam brandished his blade. "White Fang! Attack! Slay this drunken fool!"
"That's adorable." Naruto raised his hands. "Alright. I'll play. Release restraint level one."
Qrow swore a blue streak. "GET DOWN-
All hell broke loose.
Leonardo whimpered. "Mercy?"
"I didn't come alone! I brought friends!"
An awful roar filled the night. "OZZZZZPIN!"
Oscar swore softly. "Oh, no...
Cinder tilted her head. "You look like my mother, too."
Blake made confused Blake noises.
"Cinder, no." Pyrrha tugged her away. "Let them have their reunion...
R&R~!
~Nz.