AN As promised here is the long awaited EPOV chapter!

Be warned, it doesn't explain everything yet, for that you'll have to wait a few more chapters for another few EPOV chapters.
But this should already give a few insights into Edward and his behaviour

Let me know what you think!

Chapter 14 - FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

EPOV

'Get her!' I yelled as the wolves who were standing at the edge of the forest were just staring dumbly at the blonde running towards them.

One saluted and quickly sprang into action. He shifted and ran towards Tanya, growling and snarling.

I was hot on her heels.

'Don't do this Edward!' she pleaded with me. 'I love you!'

The wolf tackled her to the floor, and kept her on the ground with one heavy paw on her chest.

'Fuck you!' I spat at her. 'You never loved me!'

'Neither did you.' she spat back.

'I never said I did.' I growled back.

She snarled and tried to claw at the wolf standing above her. I quickly ran over and grabbed her wrists in my hands, pinning her arms above her head.

'Now what did you say to her?' I snarled.

Tanya just smirked at me. 'She'll never give you a chance now.'

My heart sank. No. it couldn't be.

Then tanya relayed her conversation in her thoughts and I groaned. She'd lied. She'd lied to Bella about everything. And bella had believed her. She'd played on her insecurities and fears and Bella had run. But as she relayed those thoughts, something else slipped as well. Conversations with Aro, with Caius and with Marcus.

I hung my head in defeat. She was gone.

God, this was a mess.

'You're dead.' I snarled at her.

Her face blanched as she stared up at me with wide eyes. Never had she believed that this would be the outcome. She knew playing with the Volturi could be disasterous for her, but she had been willing to do it, because she believed she and I could run this coven together with the Volturi, instead of against them.

I wanted to kill her. She had tricked me, tricked all of us.

She'd been spying for the Volturi from the first moment she'd offered herself up to me. Her thoughts had only been consumed with me, and I'd let her have me, without a second thought. I was an idiot. I had been an absolute fool and I'd not only endangered my coven, but I'd also let her chase away the woman I loved… my mate… my Bella.

Emmett stormed over and Jasper was right behind him.

'Fuck me, did she confess?' Emmett asked.

I nodded once. 'She's been working with them from the start.' I said, but my voice was monotone, dead. I was dead inside.

Jasper put his hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me down a bit, but it wasn't working.

'Come on, let's go back inside. We can discuss what we're going to do.'

'Take her to the cells and don't let her leave.' Emmett ordered the wolves.

I recognized them now as Quil and Emrby.

'Where's jacob?' I asked them.

They looked at each other.

He's hoping he can find Bella. We had a plan… Embry confessed.

He's hoping she'll stick to the plan and he can find her and bring her back. Quil added.

Or run off with her, himself. I thought to myself. I rubbed a hand over my face.

'When he gets back, sent him to me.' I told them. They both nodded their heads.

Then Jasper pulled me up and towed me back into the house. I was put on a couch and the concerned faces of my family and their thoughts crowded around me. I put my head in my hands in defeat.

I had fucked up.

I had truly and utterly fucked up and although I had thought I had done it for her… I knew I could have done it differently. I should have done it differently.

'Where is she?' I whispered.

'Not sure, yet.' Alice said. 'She's running.'

'Jacob won't find her?' I asked. Alice concentrated and then shook her head.

'I can still see her. I don't think he'll be successful.'

'What do you want to do?' Esme asked me gently.

'It's over.' I mumbled.

'You don't want to go after her?' Emmett asked confused.

'You heard her this morning, Emmett, she hates me. She doesn't want me and who can blame her? She deserves a good, happy life. And if that's away from me, than who am I to force her back here?'

They were all quiet for a moment. Then Rosalie sat down next to me.

'You know I absolutely don't agree with the way you handled things, but I know in your own twisted way it was because you love her. But I think Bella won't see it that way.'

She put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed softly. 'I think it's best for now if you don't go after her. Perhaps in a few years, when everything is settled, when she's had time to be her own person you can try again.'

I hung my head and nodded miserably. 'You're right.'I swallowed hard and squeezed my eyes shut. 'I wish I'd listened to you earlier.'

'I know.' She whispered. 'but we can't change the past.'

'We can only hope that you change your ways to make a better future.' Alice said, we all groaned a bit at that fortune teller saying, but Alice grinned anyway.

Then she sat down in front of me and showed me a vision.

'It's still there.' It was the vision she had first shown me when Bella had first arrived. Bella and I were sitting on the porch, she was in my lap, her head was on my shoulder and she was absolutely relaxed against me as we stared at the setting sun, our skin sparkling together. I wanted it. I had wanted it so badly back then.

But my fears for Volturi spies had stopped me. We knew we'd been infiltrated a while before Bella arrived. We just weren't sure who it was, or if it were multiple people. After Bella's arrival it became clear that Tanya was one of them. I had tried to distance myself from her immediately when I found out, but Carlisle warned me that that could be bad. So I had just stopped our physical relationship. No more kissing, petting, or anything. That had irked her too and she'd tried to corner me everywhere she went. I had tried to avoid her as much as possible, but it seemed she had a knack for it.

Then we'd intercepted Volturi correspondence, at first I'd thought it was Bella herself who was a spy, but then it became clear that Bella was the one in trouble. Her life was being threatened. I tried to distance myself from her, be cold to her to protect her, but I watched her in the shadows. Drawn to her, to her presence. I wanted to know her, and from what I saw, she was a wonderful person. Fierce and determined, yet kind and unselfish.

She didn't deserve what I was putting her through. She didn't deserve everything the Volturi had put her through.

'Why did you do it like this?' Esme asked kindly. The women had all tried to talk to me over and over that I should go about this entire thing differently. Emmett too hadn't agreed with what I was doing. Jasper was more on the fence, he knew the dangers of war more acutely than any of the others.

'I thought I was protecting her.'

'You're an idiot.' Rosalie said again.

'I know.' I replied dejectedly.

The door burst open and before I could brace myself, a iron hard burning hot fist connected to the side of my face, I flew a few feet through the air, before landing painfully against one of the bookcases.

'Goddamnit!' I cursed. 'Why does everyone enjoy punching me through walls?' I growled.

'What the fuck did you do to her this time?' Jacob's angry voice filled the room.

He stalked over to me and grabbed my shirt, hauling me up from the debris of the wall and bookcase and pushing me against the remaining part of the wall.

'Let him go, Jacob.' Carlisle ordered sternly. But Jacob was beyond that.

I'll fucking kill you! I'll fucking kill you! you don't deserve her you absolute giant douche! How dare you put her thourhg all of this? Forcing yourself on her, like some common rapist. You're despicable. I should declare war on your entire coven!

'Calm down, Jacob!' I ordered sternly. 'Calm yourself, right now.'

He took a deep shuddering breath in an effort to control himself.

'What did you do to her?' he snarled again.

'I'm not saying he didn't do anything...' Emmett started. 'but what sent her running wasn't him. It was Tanya.'

Jacob's head snapped around to stare at Emmett. 'Tanya?' he asked confused. 'That blonde bimbo?'

Rosalie nodded. 'She was an infiltrant. She chased Bella off, preying on her vulnerabilities.'

'Fuck.' Jacob snarled. Then he turned back to me. 'Why didn't you protect her from that bitch?!'

'I tried! The entire point to all of this was to protect Bella!' I snarled back.

'Fuck you! You don't get to pretend you care about her or that you did this for her! You destroyed her!'

'I know!' I yelled back. 'And I destroyed my own chance at happiness in the process. I fucked up. I know that okay! but Bella having gone like this was Tanya's doing. Not mine.'

'Fuck that bitch.'

'She's in the holding cells if you want to get the info from her.' Emmett suggested.

'Jacob, release Edward, please.' Carlisle said calmly.

Finally his fist loosened around my shirt and I dropped to the floor. I dusted myself off and raked a hand through my hair.

'What now?' Jacob asked.

'Tanya will be tried for treason. We've got our eye on two more infiltrates. We could use your help to get them.'

Jacob threw me an incredulous look. 'I meant what about Bella?'

I heaved a sigh. 'She's gone.'

'What the fuck do you mean?'

'She left, Jacob. Of her own free will. She doesn't want to be around me. She's been taken advantage of and abused for long enough. She deserves to live her own life for now. And until she's ready to come back or hear what we've got to say, we're going to respect her choice.' I said firmly.

He stared at me for a moment. 'But she left because of that bimbo!' he exploded.

I rolled my eyes. 'You and the other two stooges aren't that good at hiding your thoughts. She came to you for an escape plan. She was planning on leaving today anyway. She didn't want to stay here. It doesn't matter what sent her off in the end. She chose to leave, she wanted to leave. After everything I've forced her to endure I can't do anything else about it.'

'So you're just giving up?'

I sat back down on the couch.

'No he's respecting her finally.' Rosalie said. 'She wanted out, you know that. You helped her with that.'

'But she doesn't have her things, she doesn't have any money… nothing to help her survive.'

'I know.' I sighed. 'Alice will keep an eye out and we'll help her without her knowing we're helping her.'

'Until she's ready to face us again, we're giving her space to be her own person for the first time ever in her vampire life.' Alice said.

Jacob blew out a big breath. 'I think you're all idiots. I'm going to Sam. That girl should not be alone right now.'

'Hold it right there, Jacob.' Esme spoke up. 'I know you care about the girl, but we all do.'

Jacob scoffed at that.

'You may not believe that, but even though we've been avoiding her we've been keeping an eye on her and helping her improve her skills and her confidence. We love her. we want what's best for her. And right now, that is space from everyone she used to know. She doesn't trust anyone anymore.'

'She will trust me.' he growled.

'Enough Jacob. You're a wolf, she's a vampire, and she's mine.' I growled. I didn't like the possessive edge his thoughts had gotten about Bella.

Jacob scoffed again. 'We all know the wolf - vampire animosity died a few decades ago. Mates are possible.'

'She's already claimed.' I growled again.

He scoffed. 'Did you truly force yourself on her then?' he spat at me.

I flew at him before anyone could stop me.

'Jacob, you take that back!' Esme demanded.

'Edward let go of him.' Carlisle said. Emmett's arms pulled me away from Jacob and Jasper held jacob away from me. 'Enough both of you.'

'You're a piece of shit that doesn't deserve her.' Jacob spat at me.

I glared at him, but didn't dispute it. He was right. I didn't deserve her. but I sure as hell didn't want her to be with him either. I'd be damned if I let him set off and join her. I was sure I would go mad. Plus I wasn't sure she wanted that either. Perhaps she did like the wolves the most out of our entire coven, but that didn't mean that she wanted him around right now… at least that's what I hoped.

'Look, you can't just take off and chase after her. ' Carlisle said to Jacob.

'Watch me.' he growled back.

'No.' another voice said. Sam stood in the doorway. He was looking angrily between Jacob and I.

'Sam.' Jacob said, bowing his head. Sam nodded back in greeting.

'I don't know what you pulled us into, Jacob. But this stops now. This animosity between you and Edward is getting out of hand.' Sam growled. He was fed up with jacob's strange behaviour. It seemed he had been dropping the ball on his duties.

'But he's- '

'No. Enough. You've not imprinted on her, you know that. She's mated, get over it.' Sam ordered sternly. 'You'll head back to the rez and work rounds there until further notice.'

Jacob grumbled something under his breath, but Sam pretended not to hear him.

'I'm sorry for the trouble he caused, although if you all had handled this differently, it wouldn't have gotten to this point either.' Sam rebuked me.

I nodded my head. 'I'm sorry for the discord. It won't happen again.' I assured him. 'Please make sure Jacob leaves Bella alone. She is to have no communication from us, until she indicates she wants it.'

Sam regarded me coolly for a moment, then nodded.

He took over from Jasper and hauled Jacob from the room. My family turned to me.

'Are you sure this is what you want?' Esme asked.

'Want?' I scoffed. 'Fuck no. But I have no other options. She needs to be on her own. When she's ready I'll just have to make sure she knows that I love her and that I'm more sorry than she can even imagine.'